Where At Least One Person Knows Your Name - Let's Play VA-11 HALL-A!

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#1

A city that shouldn’t exist. A tax haven where corporations and criminal empires reign supreme.
In this place, all human life has been infected with nanomachines to keep them in check. Over them stand the White Knights, who ensure that a corrupt government’s laws are obeyed.

For many, this can be overwhelming. Some devote themselves to their jobs, their families, or even their studies. Some look for ways to escape this place, and others…just give up.
But for many of them, the answer lies at the bottom of a glass.

…but that’s a mouthful, so we just call it Valhalla.
A small oasis in the middle of the concrete desert. A fountain of spirits waiting for tired souls.
And it’s here where this story unfolds.

So just what is VA-11 HALL-A?
Developed by Sukeban Games and published by Ysbryd Games, VA-11 HALL-A is a “booze 'em up” in which you (or rather, the protagonist Jill) serve drinks to a variety of colorful characters. It plays very much like a visual novel, but rather than picking dialogue options, the drinks you serve impact the conversations and story. It’s also not a very good game for many reasons, but we’ll get to that later.

And the LP?
I’ll be going through the main game and going for a perfect route, which means getting all the endings, and in another save file I’ll get the Read Only Memories easter eggs for a future update. The prologue won’t be covered, as it’s not super important and only provides some minor foreshadowing. I’ll provide some commentary to explain certain things and whatnot. The updates will (hopefully) be on a weekly basis, but college might interrupt that, so here’s hoping.

Trigger warnings: Nothing is graphically displayed, but the characters talk about subjects such as: rape, pedophilia, there’s also some minor transphobia, as well as general, well, misogyny. If there are some things you feel like I might have missed, let me know and I will edit this section.

Thread rules?
No spoilers and please be civil!

Chapter 1: Primera
Day 1: And/or Organs: Part 1/Part 2
Day 2: PR Century: Part 1/Part 2
Day 3: A Straw and Some Butter: Part 1/Part 2
Day 4: Enter Streaming-chan: Part 1/Part 2
Day 5: Lawrence: Part 1/Part 2
Day 6: Woman Cave: Part 1
Chapter 2: Amarga
Day 7: Preserving Cuteness Is One Of My Principles: Part 1/Part 2
Day 8: The Part-Timer Is A Devil: Part 1/Part 2
Day 9: Dictionary DRM: Part 1/Part 2/Part 3
Day 10: Lesbian Quota: Part 1/Part 2
Day 11: Chiens Sans Frontières: Part 1/Part 2/Part 3
Day 12: Franco-Belgian Comic Opinions: Part 1/Part 2
Day 13: A Mega Christmas Miracle: Part 1/Part 2
Chapter 3: Dulce
Day 14: For The Rest Of Us: Part 1


#2

Anna: “Hey, over here.”

anna%20bored “…”

anna%20bored “Come on Jo, look sharp! The game’s starting and the player needs a good first impression of its main character.”

anna%20bored “I know you served a bunch of tuxedo-clad Corgis over the weekend and the bar will eventually close.”

anna%20sideways%20look “…and I’ll admit my little prank on you might’ve gone a bit overboard.”

anna%20smiling “But remember, life is 90% how you take it! Stay focused and look at the brighter side of things.”

anna%20other%20sideways%20look “I have no idea what the brighter side is, but you should totally find it.”

anna%20bored “In any case, you should totally check that parcel you just got.”

anna%20smiling “See ya!”

jill “Oh…yawn just a dream.”

jill “(Hm? There’s something near the door.)”

Welcome to Jill’s room, which is where we’ll spend our time outside of work (for the most part). For now there’s not a lot to do here besides read the news via the Augmented Eye app, listen some music and save your game. The other apps will get filled in over the course of the game.

With inflation rates among the highest in the world, constant shortages of basic groceries, and rampant violent crime, Glitch City’s citizens look for a better life in other countries.

QUINCY, however, isn’t happy with this.

“They learn in our schools and universities,” the Prime Minister said during a talk with the Augmented Eye, “but they apply what they learn somewhere else and I find it rather insulting.”

This comes after revealing new economic measures for the city, which most analysts consider to be useless for the current environment.

“They don’t know sh*t,” concluded QUINCY.

If you thought Alice_Rabbit was good at cracking the most complicated security protocols in the world, then this new group will certainly blow your mind. They’ve yet to make an impact as big as Alice_Rabbit, but they seem to be aiming very high with the recent threats issued against Prime Minister QUINCY.

“We hold full access to QUINCY’s email network and we’ll release the whole database this January,” the group declared during a stream.

“Shallow threats.”

When questioned, Prime Minister QUINCY dismissed all of the group’s threats by stating he’s not “hiding anything” and is not afraid of a possible leak of his email history.

“Maybe everyone will get to see what kind of TV I bought last month.”

Wild parties

The people behind the Wonderlanders seemed to enjoy dressing in all kinds of rabbit costumes during the stream. From anthro to bunny girl, the purpose was to show the love and respect they have for Alice_Rabbit and their role in today’s politics.

“We want to follow their example while having some fun!”

We’re not sure if this will go anywhere, but we’ll be there to tell you if it does.

The popular show Cyborg in Heels returns to The Dome this March, with tickets going on sale in January.

Cyborg in Heels is a massive stage show about a Cyborg fighting terrorism while wearing heels.

Director Quinton Hayter explains Cyborg in Heels’ special appeal during an exclusive interview with the Augmented Eye.

“What’s not to love about it? It’s a cyborg, WEARING HEELS, CUTTING STUFF. That’s literally something we’ve never seen before, a niche market I’m willing to capitalize on.”

Check out the full interview in the next few weeks, exclusively here at The Augmented Eye.

jill “…”

jill “Oh. Hey, John.”

gil%20exasperated “…”

jill “When will you admit you have a John face, Gil?”

gil%20slight%20smirk “When you let people call you Jules.”

jill “Quiet.”

gil “Are you okay? You look distracted.”

jill “Where’s Boss?”

gil “Dunno. She went out to buy some stuff and…”

gil%20exasperated “Did you hear what I just told you?”

jill “You said something?”

gil%20exasperated “Yes. That you look distracted. Very, very distracted.”

jill “It’s nothing. I’m just thinking about…stuff.”

gil “What stuff?”

jill “Well, I have to pay rent by the 30th, which is always stressful, and-”

gil “Ah.”

jill (“Not to mention that two days ago, I found out the bar is at risk of closing.”)

jill (“So not only is my life being shaken up, I’m apparently going crazy.”)

jill (“On top of that, neutering Fore left me with a completely empty wallet and I’ll get evicted if I miss rent again…”)

jill (“And there’re all the beer cans around my apartment, and…”)

gil “Jill!”

jill “Sorry, did you say something?”

gil%20exasperated “…can you really work today?”

jill “Of course I can!”

gil “Let’s go through the basics, then, shall we? Just in case.”

jill “…”

gil “If you can make a Piano Man, I’ll skip the rest. But. Bear with me for a second here, okay?”

jill “…”

gil “Let’s start with a Sugar Rush.”

gil “Look for the recipe using the navigation bar in the recipe book that will show up on the top left.”

gil “You can also sort drinks by flavors like “Sweet” or types like “Manly”.”

gil “Drag the desired amount of ingredients from their cells on the right to the shaker in the center.”

jill “Gil…”

gil “When done, press the mix button, and then press it again to stop mixing.”

gil “Click the serve button or the drink itself to serve it and that’ll be all.”

gil “Oh, but if the drink looks messed up, you’ll need to press the Reset button and try again.”

gil “You can press Reset at any time. Even while the shaker is moving. Don’t be afraid to use it.”

jill “Gil, I’m the one that went through the formal BTC instruction.”

gil%20slight%20smirk “Then this should be no problem!”

jillsigh

Because I’m feeling particularly cocky today, I’m just gonna give him a Sugar Rush and skip most of the tutorial.

gil%20surprised “Yes. Very. I stand corrected.”

gil “Now, let’s get working.”

gil%20surprised “Oh, yeah! Before I forget!”

jill “Hm?”

gil “You can make any drink big by doubling the amount of ingredients.”

gil “But if the recipe already has over 10 ingredients, the drink is already big.”

gil “Oh, and if a recipe says it uses “Optional Karmotrine” it means you can use none or fill it to the brim.”

gil “Optional Karmotrine doesn’t count towards making a big drink, of course.”

gil “Karmotrine is the alcoholic factor in a drink. It doesn’t change the taste but the amount still has an effect.”

gil%20exasperated “If you add too much of it, the client will get drunk faster. So please be mindful of that.”

jill “Are you done with the exposition?”

gil “Now I am, yeah.”

Additional notes: you can add ice, age a drink, and if you mix a drink for longer than five seconds then it becomes blended.

dana%20regular “Hey, guys!”

jill “W-Who’s that?”

dana%20regular “I don’t know. Found her while I was out shopping.”

gil “Why bring her here?”

dana%20regular “Well, it was either leave her outside at the mercy of society’s finest or bring her unconscious body in here.”

jill “She’s going to make such a ruckus when she wakes up. You know that.”

dana%20regular “There’re two of you! Believe in yourselves!”

jillsigh

gil “Do you think Chief knocked her out?”

jill “Nah, that’s unlikely. She’d be crowing about it or taunting us if that were the case.”

jill “And it’s not like her to pick on such a small girl…at least not unprovoked.”

gil: “Yeah, you’re right.”

gil “We’ll just need to keep it quiet. She seems to be just sleeping soundly, not comatose.”

jill “Yeah.”

gil “Okay then, time to start the night!”

jill “Yes, I’ll start working while YOU go clean the bathroom.”

gil%20exasperated “Um…come again?”

jill “While you spent the whole weekend and Monday doing god-knows-what, we’ve had some interesting clients come in.”

jill “Dogs. Lots of ‘em.”

gil “You’re joking.”

jill “Gil, you’ve known me for how long now? Do I look like the kind of woman who would make a joke like that?”

gil “Well…”

jill “So! As punishment for leaving me to deal with all of that on my lonesome, you’ll be in charge of cleaning the bathrooms.”

jill “Have fun!”

gil “Just that? Fine. I see no problem.”

gil “Where’s the cleaning stuff?”

jill “Here.”

gil%20exasperated “…you brought that from home, didn’t you?”

jill “That I did.”

jill (“With that out of the way, let’s play some music on the new “Jukebox”.”)

jill (“This model needs to have all its 12 slots filled with songs before it can start.”)

jill (“I wonder what was the logic behind that decision…”)

The jukebox is such an unnecessary mechanic that I will not even bother to show it off. You pick 12 songs two times per day and that’s it. I can guarantee you that you will never bother to change the playlist, ever.

jill “Oh, sure! Right on it.”

donovan “No, no. This isn’t gonna cut it. Gimme a big one.”

jill “Um…sure.”

donovan%20smiling “Ah, yes. Now this one’s fit for a man like me.”

jill “Right…”

donovan “You’re lucky I was in a meeting close by. This hell hole could certainly use a presence like mine.”

donovan “Although, to be fair, work has taken me to worse hell holes. Like New Jersey III.”

jill “Huh…”

jill “What kind of work do you do, mister…?”

donovan%20slight%20smile “You’re talking to Donovan D. Dawson, chief editor and owner of The Augmented Eye.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Nothing gets published there without my blessings.”

jill (“The day started with quite the interesting fellow, it seems.”)

jill “So you’re the one to blame for the barrage of daily articles on Alice_Rabbit, then?”

donovan “Hey! People love those articles - they love reading about that urban legend.”

donovan “Can you blame ‘em? The idea of some wildcard hacker working for their own goals and nobody else’s…”

donovan “That’s the kind of corny shit that brings in the clicks. From all kinds of people.”

donovan%20smiling “And clicks bring money, and money brings nice stuff.”

donovan%20smiling “Stuff like cars, and houses, and plastic surgery for the missus and her kids.”

jill “Well, I’m not complaining about the fact that you write about the hacker. Just that you write about them every single day.”

jill “Some of it isn’t even news. Just speculations or…copycats.”

jill “I can’t read your newspaper’s daily feed without running into at least ONE article about Alice_Rabbit.”

donovan “Well, first of all: I don’t write about it, my interns do.”

donovan “The poor bastards think it’ll help make them full-time employees.”

donovan “I’m just capitalizing on this topic while it’s popular.”

donovan “And second: You’re tired of one article about a supposed hacker…”

donovan “But not all the daily stories about murder and other horrors?”

jill “Well, I always filter out that section. I don’t want to start my day scared and bitter.”

jill “I have enough pressure and problems as is. I don’t need to add Glitch City’s lovely citizens to the list.”

donovan “You’re smarter than you look, kid. But if more people were like you, I’d go bankrupt from the lack of traffic.”

donovan “…still. Maybe my job would be easier.”

jill “How so?”

donovan “People get desenti…deseszi…people get bored of a certain kind of news after seeing it repeatedly.”

donovan “When I started in this job, it only took the news of some elderly woman being killed to guarantee clicks.”

donovan “Now, you need an elderly woman carrying a sick baby boy getting hit by a truck.”

donovan “Death’s not enough. They need a full sob story behind it.”

donovan “That’s why I like those urban legends: they’re easier to write about and you can make up any shit you want.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Spam them while they’re hot. And even people like you, people who avoid the murder stories, will see them.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “That brings money. And like I said, money’s good.”

jill (“Huh, I guess he has a point…”)

jill “What about the opinion columns? Aren’t those a good source of traffic too?”

donovan “Oh, I hate those brats. They just write about how they’re better than everyone else.”

donovan “They might also write about how everyone that likes a certain something should be sodomized.”

donovan “The worst part about that is they KNOW half of our clicks come from them so they get all diva-like on my ass.”

jill “I think you’re being too harsh. What about…?”

jill “…no, wait. I was thinking of another newspaper. Yeah, the columnists on your pages are annoying.”

donovan%20smiling “See?”

donovan “The kid on the restaurant critique column…um…uh…shit, forgot that brat’s name.”

jill “Restaurant? I believe that’s…”

donovan “That kid. Couldn’t care less about his name.”

donovan “Anyway. His column is the least visited of the bunch. He gets less hits than the obituaries.”

donovan “However, he still insists that I keep paying for his adventures to outrageous restaurants.”

donovan “I wouldn’t have any problem with that if he actually wrote about half the places he visits.”

jill “How so?”

donovan “He rarely writes about the places the newspaper sends him to!”

donovan “I’ve even heard he tries to get free meals by proclaiming that he’s a food critic.”

donovan “Poor bastard only gets laughed at when he says that.”

jill “I do remember some guy coming here asking for free drinks, and saying he was a critic or whatever.”

donovan “Did he look like a fat child with a really small face?”

jill “No.”

donovan “Wasn’t this one then.”

donovan “Anyway, all this talk made me thirsty. Try to give me a Beer this time, please.”

jill “Coming right up.”

donovan “Yeah, this is a Beer alright.”

donovan “Keep it up, kid. You’ll get better someday.”

jill “…”

donovan “So, tell me. Do you see many celebrities in this hell hole?”

jill “Please stop referring to this place as a hell hole.”

donovan “If a place smells like soap and dog piss, I’m within my constitutional rights to call it a hell hole.”

gil “I’M DOING MY BEST HERE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!”

donovan “Who was that?”

jill “Nobody important.”

gil “HEY! I HEARD THAT!”

donovan “Don’t be offended by what I say, kid. I’m insulting the building, not you.”

donovan “You can think of it as a small hole in hell rather a hellish hole, if you like.”

jill “Charming.”

donovan “So. Celebrities…”

jill “Not really, At least, not that I know of. Why?”

donovan “Well…to begin with, you have a serious VIP as a client but I don’t see you losing your shit.”

donovan “You’re not making me feel special, honey.”

donovan “And second, because I’m always up for gossip regarding famous people.”

donovan “Especially the red carpet kind of famous.”

donovan “Those folks people pretend to love but actually want to see fall from grace.”

jill ““Pretend to love”? “Fall from grace”?”

donovan “Why do you think that gossip about famous people always sells?”

donovan%20slight%20smile “People pretend that they love celebs, but what they really want is to see their idols torn down to their level.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “They want to see them suffer. To get their comeuppance for daring to be so much more successful than them!”

jill “Nah, I think gossip is just something everyone enjoys but nobody wants to admit to enjoying.”

donovan “You thought wrong. But even if you were right, it wouldn’t change the fact that people love that kind of stuff.”

donovan “They want to escape their lives by living somebody else’s.”

jill “Sadly, I fail to see the appeal in that whole thing.”

jill “What do I care if this guy I saw in some random movie was wearing socks with sandals or if they’re dating god-knows-who?”

jill (“Granted, socks with sandals is practically a public indecency, but still.”)

donovan%20smiling “Oh, please. As a bartender, I bet you have a strong voyeuristic streak. Your kind always loves to hear that stuff.”

donovan%20smiling “Just like hairdressers! This sounds hypocritical coming from you.”

jill “E-even if that’s the case, I don’t sensationalize what people do.”

jill “I don’t make it more than “That person you know from TV acts like a human”.”

jill ““Sensationalize” is the key word here.”

jill “Just the other day, I saw this “Committee” judge bitching over what some girl was wearing to the store.”

jill “No matter what you say, these people don’t exist solely to entertain the public.”

donovan “But this problem exists because they’re the ones constantly cultivating the idea that they’re perfect and untouchable.”

donovan “Going to exotic locales, dressing in elegant ways, indulging in every luxury they can think of…”

donovan “All that just leaves the public CRAVING for those little moments when they make a mistake and fall to their level!”

jill “Can’t say that’s a lie but…sometimes the crowd just wants to see that they’re human.”

jill " “Hey! That dude that plays the nice guy is indeed a really nice guy!” "

jill “To be fair, the gossip articles don’t help. Sensationalizing everything.”

jill “It feels like they’re instigating a behaviour that shouldn’t even be acknowledged in the first place.”

donovan “You like your big words, eh brat?”

donovan “Well, two can play at that game of-…”

donovan “…”

jill “…?”

donovan “Hmhm…”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Heeeeeey. You’re a bartender, right?”

jill “No, I’m a lab rat hellbent on world conquest.”

donovan “Sarcasm wastes my time, my money, and your energy. Refrain from using it.”

donovan “Anyway, I just realized that a bartender like you must’ve heard quite a few stories in her career.”

jill (“Talk about changing topics.”)

jill “Maybe, why?”

donovan “Wouldn’t you like a column talking about those? I bet they would sell quite well.”

jill “It would be like that priest that published “Confessionary Stories”…and then got excommunicated and lynched.”

jill “People usually tell me all this stuff because they know I’m just a simple bartender…”

jill “A personal stranger of sorts.”

donovan “We could have you ghostwriting - half of our staff do that.”

jill “They do?”

donovan “You don’t really think Lana Smithee is just one person, do you?”

jill (“Figures.”)

jill “A-anyway…”

jill “Eventually, the people from the stories would know it’s them and blame me.”

jill “Not only would that hurt us as a business, it would hurt me. I really like hearing clients rant about their lives.”

jill “Oh…and it would hurt the clients too, I guess.”

donovan “Well, if you ever retire, that offer is waiting for you.”

jill (“Yeah, like you’ll remember me two weeks from now.”)

jill “Sure.”

jill “Do you want another drink, Mr. Donovan?”

donovan “Mister Donovan…”

donovan “Mister…Donovan…”

jill “D-Did I say something wrong?”

donovan “Not at all. I just really like the sound of that.”

donovan%20smiling “Mister Donovan…MISTER Donovan…”

jill “Is it really that special?”

donovan%20smiling “At work, everyone calls me Mr. Dawson or Boss.”

donovan%20smiling “Boss is just a title. It’s too impersonal and cold.”

jill (“It is?”)

donovan%20smiling “Mr. Dawson was my father and grandfather. It’s too general. But Mr. Donovan…now that’s more like it.”

donovan%20smiling “They’re referring to ME. To the man in front of them. Not to my family. Not to my position as boss. To ME.”

jill “Do you want your employees to get personal with you, Mr. Donovan?”

donovan “Oh, gods no. But I want them to fear ME. Not because I’m their boss or the name appearing in their paychecks…”

donovan “…but rather because I strike mortal dread into them.”

donovan “Starting tomorrow, I’m going to make everyone call me that.”

donovan “Oh yeah, you were asking something. What was it?”

jill “Drink. Another one. Do you?”

donovan “Ah, yes yes…”

donovan “You know what? Third time’s the charm. Gimme a Beer.”

jill “Alright.”

donovan “Yeah, I guess this one’s good enough for now.”

jill “Good to hear.”

donovan “Say kid, does this bar have any investors?”

jill (“He didn’t call it a hell hole?”)

jill “There was some bloke named Sven that wanted to give us money if we stamped his face all over the place.”

jill “But aside from that, no.”

jill “These bars are pretty much like any fast food chain, so there are no local investors.”

jill “Why?”

donovan%20slight%20smile: “Just wanted to let you know how lucky you bastards are.”

donovan%20slight%20smile: “Investors suck harder than my first wife’s mouth.”

donovan “Those bastards think they’re soooooooooo important because they put their money in the company.”

jill “Well that’s…”

donovan “I mean, you give me money so you can make more. Let me do my thing and I’ll give you your money!”

donovan “But nooooooooooooo, they have to stick their noses and start changing the silliest of stuff.”

donovan “What good is it to be the boss if you still have to work for someone else?!”

jill “You still have to answer to unions, the government, and those kinds of organizations, don’t you?”

donovan “Yeah, but that’s paperwork. I make somebody else do it and call it a day. These losers ask for “meetings”.”

donovan “They start talking about stuff they don’t like, stuff they found offensive…”

donovan “And there’s always that one guy or gal that says “Hey, why don’t you do what that other newspaper does?””

donovan “Recently they told me they needed more clicks. MORE CLICKS!”

donovan “I make sure to keep stuff spicy while still keeping production quality up but it’s never enough for them!”

donovan “Well, you know what?! They want more clicks? I’LL GIVE THEM MORE CLICKS!”

donovan “I’ll show them what happens when I do what they want and don’t reject ideas.”

jill “…should I be worried? Nah…”

jill “At least he paid before storming off.”

jill (“I wonder what happened with Sven though. We never heard from him again.”)

gil “JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL!!!”

jill “Yes?”

gil “That kind of mess usually requires you to have THUMBS!”

jill “Crafty dogs, I tell you. You’d think their short legs would hinder them.”

gil “T-The ceiling…the sinks…the toilets…THE VENTS!”

jill “Shh…you’ll wake up Briar Rose over there.”

jill “Yeah, yeah…”

jill “Oh, a client.”

jill “Welcome to Valhalla, what can I…”

jill “…alright.”

ingram “Hm, you can actually do it then…”

jill “…”

ingram “Hmph…this crackhouse is a bar?”

jill (“Hell hole, crackhouse…”)

ingram “It smells like dog urine and soap. How the hell do you expect someone to feel comfortable in here?”

jill “I’m surprised you decided to come to our little “crackhouse” at all, mister…”

ingram “What the hell do you care?”

jill (“The payment registry says…”)

jill “Sorry for the question then, Mr. Ingram McDougal.”

ingram “…”

jill “Sorry about the smell, we’re working on fixing it. There was an…incident over the weekend.”

ingram “But it’s Tuesday.”

jill “…”

jill “Please…let me know what I can do to make your experience more pleasant regardless.”

ingram “If I pay you, will you come with me to a motel for a couple of hours?”

jill “No.”

ingram “Then I have no use for you beyond giving me drinks.”

jill (“Such pleasant clientele tonight…”)

jill “May I ask why you decided to come to our bar then?”

ingram “Somebody recommended me this place and I have absolutely no idea why she likes it.”

ingram “She says she’s a regular here and all. I’m starting to doubt her tastes.”

jill “A regular? Can I ask who?”

ingram “No.”

jill “…”

ingram “I’ll concede one thing: whoever picks the music at least has decent taste.”

jill “Below the sink where it’s always been.”

dana%20regular “Right.”

jill “So, any other feedback you want to provide the establishment so we can enhance your customer experience?”

ingram “No…nothing.”

jill “That’s…an interesting change of heart.”

ingram “I can’t afford to slander this place knowing SHE’s here!”

jill “You know my boss?”

ingram “I don’t know her, but I know who she is.”

ingram “Dana Zane, the Red Comet.”

ingram “The woman who fended off mall rioters all by herself, knocking them out cold one by one.”

jill “That’s…an achievement and a title I’ve never heard before.”

jill “I know Boss did quite a few things before opening this bar, but that sounds…”

jill “Would you happen to know how she got her mechanical arm?”

ingram “I heard a couple of stories but they seem too fantastical to be true.”

ingram “…”

jill “You’ve had an interesting change of attitude.”

ingram “I saw that woman take out armed rioters with her bare hands.”

ingram “Once you see something like that, it’s hard not to keep your mouth shut in front of them.”

jill “Interesting…”

jill “You can relax, though. I’ve only seen her deal with clients personally about two or three times.”

jill “One involved Class-5 weaponry, the other one a “pick-up artist”, and the latest had an alpaca.”

ingram “An alpaca?”

jill “Not really an alpaca, but…”

jill “There’s this woman that owns a textile company…”

jill “She got really drunk and…she started screaming she was an alpaca.”

jill “She started spitting on everything afterwards. My boss had to show her the exit.”

jill “I’d rather not remember that night, so let’s leave it at that.”

jill “Can I get you anything else?”

ingram “Give me a Piledriver, please.”

jill (“Please? There’s a word I haven’t heard today.”)

jill “Coming right up.”

ingram “Hm…it’s fine, I guess.”

ingram “Hey lady, have you ever faked an orgasm?”

jill “…”

jill “I’m sorry, I think I heard wrong.”

ingram “I asked if you’ve ever faked an orgasm.”

jill “That’s a question I’m not gonna answer.”

ingram “I’m gonna take that as a yes.”

ingram “I was just thinking about how good a lie can be.”

ingram “I mean, even the most sincere of people lie once in a while.”

ingram “Lies can buy you time. Lies can make you happy…”

ingram “Reality will come crashing through eventually. But for that moment the lie can give meaning to you.”

jill “…I say lies are like your porn stash.”

jill “You know they exist but you shouldn’t acknowledge them.”

ingram “Does that mean you’ve really faked orgasms? ‘cause you look like you’ve had a lot of experience.”

jill “…”

jill “Still, that’s quite the random thought to just suddenly have.”

jill “Are you perhaps lying about something right now?”

ingram “Not really, I was just thinking about people making polite comments about this crackhouse.”

jillsigh Of course you were.”

ingram “Hey, I’m gonna need another drink here.”

jill “Already? Don’t you think you’re drinking a bit quickly?”

ingram “That’s my problem, not yours. Give me a Fringe Weaver.”

jill “Alright…”

ingram “That’s up to me.”

ingram “Hey lady, have you ever felt empty?”

jill “Empty how? Like, hungry?”

ingram “No, I mean empty like there’s a part of you missing.”

jill “…can’t say I particularly have.”

ingram “I just feel there’s this part of myself that lacks something.”

ingram “An urge to get or do something that I just can’t satisfy.”

jill “Have you tried taking up a hobby?”

jill “It might not solve your problems, but it might keep you busy enough to avoid thinking about it.”

ingram “Any suggestions?”

jill “Well…collecting stuff, reading, bungee jumping, combat sports, exercising…”

ingram “Sounds a lot cheaper than the alternative.”

jill “Which is?”

ingram “Bitches and alcohol.”

ingram “I tried sex tourism once. It was like a bloody Russian oulette of STDs so I left midway through.”

ingram “I once burned my Christmas bonus hiring 3 women for an orgy…porn is more amusing and way cheaper.”

ingram “I’ve also hired a girl to act like my daughter for a day for three years in a row now.”

ingram “Nothing seems to do it.”

jill “Um…”

jill “…have you tried rescuing a puppy?”

ingram “You can’t fuck puppies. At least you SHOULDN’T.”

jill “I’m drawing a blank then. Can’t think of anything that might help.”

ingram “I wasn’t expecting you to help me…or to believe me.”

jill “Eh?”

ingram “I could’ve been lying through my teeth this whole time.”

ingram “People lie, lady.”

jill “…”

ingram “Anyway, I’m leaving now. This smell is killing me.”

jill “Please come again.”

jill (“Good.”)

jill “Phew…”

jill “Boss, I’m gonna take my break!”

dana%20regular “Alright.”


#3

jill “Okay then. Back in action!”

jill “Good eve-…”

jill “…”

jill “Um…would you mind taking your helmet off?”

sei%20helmet “Oh? Sorry. It’s so comfortable I usually forget I have it on.”

jill “Yeah, thank you.”

jill “What can I get you, miss…?”

sei%20smiling “Master Specialist, Sei P. Asagiri of the 765th Division Valkyrie Corps at your service!”

sei%20frowning “Wait…that’s too long. Just call me Sei.”

jill “What can I get for you, Sei?”

sei “Let’s see…I’m in the mood for a sweet drink. Oh! But not “sweet” as in “cool”…”

sei “…although a cool drink would be nice too. Um…but not “cool” as in “great” and especially not as in “big”.”

sei “More so since I have to get up early tomorrow and I can’t afford a hangover.”

sei%20frowning “Um…sorry, did you get that?”

jill “A sweet drink. Preferably a cold one that’s not too big. Right?”

sei%20smiling “Yeah! That’s it!”

jill “I can do that. Give me a sec.”

As it turns out, a Moonblast fits that description perfectly.

sei%20smiling “Aaaaaah yes, this is just what I needed. Thanks!”

jill “We don’t get many White Knights as clients. I can only remember one other, in fact.”

jill “You said you’re from the Valkyrie corps, right? Are you the guys who deal with riots and such?”

sei “Riots…? Oh! Nonono… You’re thinking of the Blitzkrieg corps. The ones with huge plated suits, right?”

jill “Yeah, those.”

sei “No, we’re different people. I mean…obviously we are different people. But we don’t deal with riots or anything.”

sei “In fact, you could say we deal with their aftermath.”

jill “How so?”

sei%20smiling “To rescue, heal and protect! We are the angels who soothe those suffering enemy attack!”

sei%20smiling “We are the light of hope in the darkest of times, the ones who assist the victims of crime!”

sei%20smiling “We watch, we protect.”

jill “Um…what was that?”

sei “Sorry, it’s sort of our pledge of allegiance; we recite it every morning.”

sei “What it means is our duties mostly include rescuing civilians, healing the injured, and protecting them from…stuff.”

jill “What kind of stuff?”

sei “Burglars, rapists, car crashes, anything that might happen on our watch.”

jill “You mentioned “heal”. Are you a doctor then?”

sei “Nah. I know many doctors, but I’m not one. I’m more of a paramedic. I treat people so they can arrive safely at a doctor.”

sei “I’m also kinda like a firefighter in that I sometimes rescue people from places.”

jill “Damn, that must be a tough job.”

sei “Sort of, but it’s also really rewarding.”

sei “I mean, I’ve yet to meet somebody that ISN’T glad to see me when I arrive.”

jill “You must’ve seen some shocking sights.”

sei%20smiling “Yeah! This one time, when I was saving some people from the top of a collapsing building…”

sei%20smiling “I looked down and was blown away by how pretty the city was! It was like a starry sky on Earth!”

sei%20smiling “Oh! And there was this time we were cleaning up the aftermath of a car crash. Water was pouring out of a hydrant.”

sei%20smiling “With the lights and scattered pieces of glass, it was all almost dream-like.”

jill “T-That’s not what I meant by “shocking sights”.”

sei%20frowning “No? But those are sights…and they’re shocking, right?”

jill “Yeah, but…nevermind.”

sei “Wait…did I mishear you and you actually meant “sighs”?”

sei “I mean, sure.”

sei “I’ve suffered the deepest, longest and most frustrated sighs from people after everything’s said and done but…”

jill “Don’t worry, you didn’t mishear. I guess I was just expecting a different kind of answer.”

sei “What kind of answer?”

jill “Don’t…worry too much about it.”

jill “You finished your drink - can I get you anything else?”

sei “Hm… Something classy. A classy drink.”

jill “Can you be more specific?”

sei “Don’t make it too big. Does that work?”

sei%20frowning “Sorry, I don’t come to bars very often. My drinks usually come in a can.”

jill “No problem. Don’t worry. A classy drink, right? Let’s see what I can find for you.”

sei “Yup, this looks like something Stella would drink.”

jill “Who?”

sei “She’s my dearest friend. Not that I don’t have others, but she’s the one I’ve known the longest.”

sei “She likes these kind of drinks, so I wanted to see what’s so special about them.”

jill “And what do you think?”

sei “I was expecting something…stronger. I like it quite a bit.”

sei “Say, Miss Bartender, what’s your name?”

jill “Hm?”

sei “You know my name, now I wanna know yours.”

jill “Oh sure, just call me Jill.”

sei “Jill…hm…Jill…”

sei “Jill is short for…Jillian! No, that’s not right.”

jill “…”

sei “Jillian…Ju…Julianne!”

jill “Do. NOT. Call me Julianne, please.”

sei%20frowning “…!”

jill “…”

jillsigh Sorry about that.

sei%20frowning No, please excuse me. I didn’t want to anger you.”

sei%20frowning “Um…but why don’t you like being called by your full name?”

jill “It’s a stupid reason. Don’t dwell too much on that.”

sei%20frowning “Oh, ok. I still feel bad about angering you, though.”

jill “Why?”

sei%20frowning “Because you look like a nice girl, Jill, and I don’t like angering nice people.”

sei “If it helps somehow, I really like this place.”

jill “That…actually helps. You’re the first person to say something nice today, thanks.”

jill “What do you like about it?”

sei%20smiling “The smell of dog urine and soap!”

jill “…”

sei%20smiling “My mom used to be a veterinarian, and I used to go to her clinic after school, so the smell takes me back.”

sei%20smiling “It makes me feel…comfy and nostalgic.”

jillahem What made you become a White Knight instead of a veterinarian or…anything else?”

sei “Well, I was never a good student, so studying medicine of any kind was out of the question.”

sei “That aside, it’s mostly because of something that happened while I was a kid.”

sei “A White Knight attacked my friend and was coming for me when this other White Knight saved us.”

sei “I don’t remember what happened next. I just woke up in a hospital with my friend watching over me.”

sei “I mean, it wasn’t a prophetic moment or anything like that. But ever since then I felt this was my calling.”

sei “That I wanted to help people the same way they helped me.”

jill “Huh…it’s interesting though: one would think being attacked by a White Knight would make you run the opposite direction.”

sei “Yeah, but it was another one that saved me.”

sei “So I kinda guide myself toward judging everything on an individual basis.”

sei%20frowning “Well, not to an extremist extent, but…you get me.”

jill “Yeah. I try to do the same too.”

jill “Why join the Valkyrie corps specifically though?”

sei “Because I wanted to rescue people from dire situations whenever possible.”

sei “And going into patrols and all that felt too tiresome.”

sei “It’s also the one with the least paperwork involved.”

jill “Now that I think about it, there are different kinds of White Knights, right?”

sei “I guess “White Knight” is too broad a term.”

sei “There’s not one specific type - there are many different classes. Rescue, assault…”

sei “There’s even a squad full of bureaucrats.”

jill “Really?”

sei “Yeah, they get assigned to companies to handle the accounting and that kind of stuff.”

sei “People usually ask for them because they speed up processes.”

sei “But a few are assigned when a company is suspected of having weird, under-the-table deals.”

jill “Interesting.”

sei “There was also a squad dedicated to fighting school bullying.”

sei “They were doing a nice job, but the “fad” of anti-bullying campaigns passed and they lost their funding.”

sei “I believe some members still work anti-bullying cases in an unofficial capacity.”

jill “That’d be nice…I think.”

jill “Can I get you anything else?”

sei “I don’t know if I should. I can’t afford that many drinks. And besides, I don’t really know how much alcohol I can handle.”

jill “Yeah, I can see that.”

sei “Yup, I’m gonna stop here today. Thanks for the chat, Jill.”

jill “Sure, no problem.”

sei “Bye!”

jill “Come again.”

jill “Wait! You forgot your…helmet.”

jill “She’s gone…”

jill “Whoa!”

jill “Gil, did the ammonia make you go nuts?!”

gil “There was this time in Zanzibar when that almost happened. In any case, I’ll go check that noise.”

???: “What…?”

jill (“Oh, she woke up.”)

jill “Good evening and welcome to Valhalla.”

jill (“That might not have been the best thing to say.”)

kim “V-Valhalla? Am I dead?”

kim “D-Does that mean that Uncle Ingus’ ramblings about the afterlife looking like a shoddy downtown bar are true?”

jill (“Called it!”)

jill “Afterlife?”

kim “I’m not dead?”

jill “As far as I can tell? No.”

jill “To be fair, I don’t know how death or the afterlife work exactly, but you’re breathing, right?”

kim “…!!”

kim “…”

kim%20angry “…alright, then where the hell am I?”

kim%20angry “How did I get here?! Who brought me here?! What were you planning to do with me?!”

kim%20angry “Are you organ traffickers?! Robbers?! Rapists?! Pickpockets?! You’re pickpockets, aren’t you?!”

kim%20angry “W-W-Why aren’t you saying anything?!”

jill “I’m just waiting for you to vent your worries. Otherwise you’ll just…”

:tw: Sexual assault mention :tw:

kim%20angry “You’re rapists, aren’t you?! RAPISTS! THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU!!”

kim%20angry “You wanna tear my clothes, beat me unconscious, have your horrible way with me and then brutally murder me, don’t you?!”

kim%20angry “All while still violating every hole in my body as I lay there twitching, DON’T YOU?!”

:tw: Sexual assault mention :tw:

As to why this is framed comedically…I’ve got no clue, folks. But it’s bad. Real bad. This game handles sensitive subjects very, very clumsily, as we’ll see in future updates.

kim%20breakdown “MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER”

jill “…interrupt me.”

jill (“Well, this is going nowhere, let’s see if I can get her a drink to calm her down…or to throw at her face.”)

jill “A drink. You’re in a bar. Bars serve drinks.”

kim “A… Bar?”

jill “So I figure I should give you something to help you calm down. Don’t worry, it’s on the house.”

kim%20angry “To “calm down”? What did you spice it up with? Roofies? TTX? Pumpkins?”

jill “G-God no…I wouldn’t even think of it.”

kim%20angry “Your stuttering makes you suspicious, you know?”

jill “If I ever added anything like that to your drink, they’d dock my pay and tips.”

jill “Not to mention I’d have to pay any lawsuits myself.”

jill “And that’s the best case scenario. I could get fired and lose benefits or go to jail.”

jill “And trust me, the BTC LOVES to catch anyone who commits that particular felony.”

jill “They’d show themselves all proud for a hefty PR boost.”

jill “And the thought of going through all that is just…”

jillBRRRRRRRR

kim “Even if you say that…”

jill “Let’s do something.”

jill “If you go outside, and head just three businesses to the left, you’ll find a convenience store.”

jill “They sell drug tests for drinks. Tell the cashier that Dana Zane sent you.”

jill “Any damage?”

gil “A hole in the street, dunno about the drivers or anything.”

jill “I see.”

gil “Either way, I think I’m done here.”

jill “Did you check inside the toilet paper’s locker?”

gil “How?! Why?! W-How?!”

jill “Did you have to pay?”

kim “No…”

jill “No problem then. Try it on the drink.”

kim “…”

kim “Says negative.”

jill “There you go.”

kim “But you could be in cahoots with the clerk at the store. He even knew your name!”

jill “Good point, but first of all: It’s not my name. It’s my boss’.”

jill “Second, we are pretty much part of a chain. Sorta like the Spicy Chicken of bars.”

jill “And finally, I’m not making you drink this. I offered it to you as a sign of peace.”

jill “I mean, you ARE right. It IS indeed suspicious on my part. Sorry.”

jill “You can just ignore the drink, go through that door, and forget this ever happened.”

jill “That would be it. You’re at peace and nothing of value would be lost.”

kim “…”

kim%20angry “Are you implying something won’t have value because I ignored it?”

kim%20angry “Are you saying my presence is so unimportant that my lack of action will yield no difference?!”

jill “E-Eh?”

kim%20angry “And what about the drink?! Are you gonna let this fruit of your work go to waste so easily?!”

jill “No, I…”

kim%20angry “Well, I’ll let you know that I’m not that unimportant and that your work does matter!”

jill “Um…not sure you should drink it all so fast.”

kim%20closed%20eyes “…”

jill “So, how was it?”

kim “Hm…”

kim “It was fine, but not something I’d order normally.”

kim%20closed%20eyes “…”

jill “Are you alright?”

kim “…yeah. I guess you were telling the truth. Sorry about that.”

jill “No problem. If I were you, I’d have probably reacted the same way.”

jill “I should apologize for my last comment too, it came out as insensitive.”

kim “I guess I’ll stay for a while; I need to get my thoughts in order.”

kim “Can you tell me how I got here?”

jill “My boss found you unconscious and brought you here for safekeeping.”

jill “Aaaaand you were asleep until that car crash outside.”

kim “I-I see…”

kim “I guess it’s better to wake up here than on the streets, stripped of clothes, dignity, and/or organs.”

kim%20closed%20eyes “…”

jill “How did you fall unconscious? Were you tired? Sick?”

kim%20closed%20eyes “I guess I’m sick…but I’d rather not talk about it.”

jill “Of course.”

jill “…I’ll tell you what. Your drinks are on the house tonight.”

kim “Why would you do that?”

jill “Consider it an apology on behalf of everyone here for all the trouble we’ve caused you.”

jill “Also, something tells me you might need another drink right now.”

kim “Yeah, you might be right.”

kim “Okay then, I’ll take you on your offer. I’ll have a Piano Man.”

jill “Will you be fine?”

kim “Yeah, I just gulped the last one, so I wanna enjoy this one.”

jill “Coming right up then.”

kim “Yeah. This is the one.”

kim “My dad used to drink these until an actual pianist attempted to kill him.”

jill “What did he do? Your dad, I mean. To provoke the pianist like that.”

kim%20closed%20eyes “Wrong place at the wrong time, I guess.”

kim%20closed%20eyes “He was relaxing in a bar when suddenly the pianist leapt off the stage and started punching him.”

kim “Some say he was off his meds and that my dad looked like some music critic that had bashed him.”

kim “I still hold my stance that he just got too excited. Jazz does that to you.”

jill “I see…”

jill “The Piano Man has an interesting story.”

jill “It was originally created by a bartender in honor of a pianist friend of his that had just passed.”

jill “Apparently, it mixes all the flavors said friend liked the most.”

kim “Oh, that’s nice.”

kim “So this is how it feels to go for a drink at the end of a long hard day at work.”

kim “I’m not sure if I like the fact that I’m falling into that.”

jill “Where do you work? Miss…”

kim “Call me Kim.”

kim “I don’t know if I can say “work” yet, though. I’m still just an intern.”

jill “Can I ask where?”

kim “Have you heard of a newspaper called “The Augmented Eye”?”

jill “I read it every morning. In fact, Donovan D. Dawson was here earlier.”

kim%20angry “…I knew I smelled his nasty cologne.”

kim%20angry “That bastard leaves his reek wherever he goes.”

jill “So, you believe me?”

kim%20angry “I do.”

kim%20angry “God, you have no idea how much I hate that chauvinistic horseblower.”

jillpffft ahem

jill “Harsh words…”

kim “The worst part is that I kind of admire the way he does stuff.”

kim “He’s so forceful about the things he wants that people have done it before they realize what’s going on.”

kim “He even got a pizza delivery boy to work server maintenance.”

kim “A full week passed before the pizza shop asked where the hell he was.”

kim “And would you believe it? The guy became decent at server maintenance, despite having no previous experience.”

kim%20angry “It’s kinda admirable, but at the same time I hate his guts! UGH!”

kim%20angry “Knowing that I have to work for him, it’s…AGH!”

jill “Why are you working there, then?”

kim%20angry “…”

jill “Did I ask something I shouldn’t have?”

kim “N-No, don’t fret about it. I’d rather not talk about it, though.”

jill “Fair enough.”

kim “What’s your name, bartender?”

jill “Call me Jill.”

kim “Is it hard to be a bartender, Jill?”

jill “I guess it’s as hard as being a cook somewhere.”

jill “You keep going through the motions while trying to provide something of quality.”

jill “All while answering the whimsy of people’s orders.”

jill “I think the hardest part is dealing with the chemical hazards some people might leave behind. Why?”

kim “At one point I thought about being a bartender…”

kim “…but I was afraid they’d make me wear skimpy clothes and dance or something.”

jill (“Here we go again…”)

jill “Well, it depends on where you start working, you know?”

jill “I guess I was lucky Valhalla didn’t end up being a tacky disco overseen by a DJ with an afro.”

jill “My boss just wanted a comfy place, I think.”

kim “Your boss sounds like an interesting person. What with wanting to put me somewhere safe and all that.”

jill “She is! She’s so cool and collected, but has no qualms about showing excitement about stuff.”

jill “Sure, she’s been a bit tense the last couple of days…”

jill “But even then, when you’re with her everything just feels under control.”

jill “She also has this mechanical arm. I have no idea how she got it, but…”

kim “…heh.”

jill “…”

jill “…sorry, I got carried away.”

kim “It was fun to see you break the “wise bartender” character you’re using here.”

jill (“I do that?”)

kim “It’d be nice to meet this boss of yours sometime and thank her.”

jill “Shall I call her? She’d be glad to know you’re okay.”

kim “Oh no, I shouldn’t pester her that way.”

kim “And besides, it’s getting late and I don’t want to abuse your generosity.”

jill “You can ask for another one, although I don’t know how much alcohol you can handle.”

kim “I think I can handle another drink. One Brandtini, please.”

jill “Coming right up.”

kim “Yup, this seems like the stuff.”

kim “Cheers!”

kim “Hey Jill, was this job, like, a lifelong dream or something?”

jill “Not really. It just kinda happened.”

jill “One thing led to another and BAM, bartending.”

kim “Do you regret not fulfilling a dream?”

jill “The only dream I can remember being passionate about was buying a Model Warrior Julianne arcade machine.”

jill “Can’t say I’ve given up on that one yet. But alas, adult stuff needs to be paid for first.”

kim “You’ve never had a dream you wanted to chase?”

jill “Not really. I mean, most of my dreams have been silly things or childish dreams.”

kim “Childish dreams?”

jill “Having a room where every piece of furniture talks, being a Model Warrior…”

kim “OH! Childish dreams, yeah.”

kim%20closed%20eyes “I remember I wanted to live in a Koi pond when I was seven. The fish seemed to be having a blast to me.”

kim “So, no dreams?”

jill “None that I felt particularly motivated to chase, no.”

jill “I mean, I’m fascinated by AIs, but I just couldn’t find it in me to study that.”

jill “So, I picked something I found nice and moved on.”

jill “And somewhere along the way, I became a bartender.”

kim “I see…”

gil “FINALLY.”

gil%20exasperated “I mean, how the hell did they throw toilet paper out of the window?!”

gil “…oh, a client. Good night ma’am.”

jill “Sure.”

kim “Um…who was he?”

jill “A ghost. Nobody you should worry about.”

kim “Oh…”

gil “I HEARD THAT!”

jill “Why were you asking all those questions?”

kim%20closed%20eyes “Because now that I think about it, I don’t really have a dream job or anything like that.”

jill “I think we idealize the idea of a dream job too much.”

jill “Not everyone walks around with a clear idea of what they want in life.”

jill “Some take a liking to a job, others find it after many failed attempts.”

jill “Sometimes life takes an unexpected turn that makes you change your plans…”

jill “…”

jill “…what I mean is: Don’t worry too much about it.”

kim “Maybe you’re right.”

kim “Well, I’m gonna take my leave now. Thank you for everything.”

jill “Thank you and come again.”

jill “And that’s it.”

jill “Seems like it.”

dana%20regular “Where’s Gil? And…where’s the girl that was here?”

jill “Gil cleaned the bathroom and left because he stank.”

jill “Kim woke up, had a couple of drinks, and left.”

dana%20regular “So she’s called Kim.”

dana%20regular “How did she look to you? How was she?”

jill “She was freaked out when she woke up, but she managed to calm down.”

dana%20upset “…”

jill “Are you worried about her?”

dana%20upset “Wouldn’t you be?”

jill “I don’t know.”

jill “Hey Boss, do you feel like calling you “Boss” is too impersonal?”

dana%20regular “Hm? Not really, no.”

dana%20regular “It’s not like you call me that because I’m a stranger. Just out of habit.”

jill “Oh…”

dana%20regular “Anyway, you’re free to go after you finish washing up the glasses.”

dana%20regular “Let me transfer you today’s payment. Maybe I’ll give Gil a small bonus for dealing with the bathroom.”


#4

I’m about 99% certain they thought Kim freaking out counted as funny because we, the player/audience, would be utterly revolted to discover that our protagonist was a rapist and therefore could rest assured that Kim’s fears were unfounded.

They seem to have overlooked the fact that this, in and of itself, doesn’t actually make Kim’s fears unfounded.

For that matter, when I played, I didn’t even realize it was supposed to be funny. I thought she was having a panic attack. So good work there Sukeban.


#5

Welcome to danger/u/. danger/u/ is basically 4chan but for women, as nonsensical as that sounds. It sucks.

Ok, so let’s limit all the concert conversation to this thread. How are you preparing for the best >day of your life?

I’m going with my boyfriend

Boyfriend

Why would you lie on the internet?

Boyfriend

hahah oh wow

FUCKING NORMIES GET OUUUUT!!!

That is so cute, Anon! Anyway, I’m going with a very special friend of mine…

Are you the girl from the other day who had a crush on her best friend?

Y-Yes…

So you’re finally going to confess! oh my god, this is going to be the cutest thing.

But I still don’t know if I like her ><

Just wait until Miki shows up, you’ll know right away if you love her, trust me I’ve been there ^^

How so?

You will understand once you are there with her. Miki concerts are some magical shit.

This thread is closed

What it says on the tin.

So what’s the news on them?

Hmm, drawing a blank rn

We haven’t heard of Alice in a while now that I think of it, you think they’re planning something?

There’s this constant rumour I hear about a terrorist attack next week.

Don’t scare me with that stuff please, I have enough as it is.

lol we’re going to be attacked and it will be funny to see those white knights fucks do nothing but drink.

How do you know if you get hacked by Alice? it’s my first time reading about them.

Lurk more.

She normally leaves a funny ascii drawing and a message, something like “Happy not-birthday!”

Sounds lame as fuck, why is Alice even a celebrity…

The hell? Alice was the one that leaked all of the internal White Knight memos…

She literally started the riots with the leaks, at least try with your baits.

This thread is closed

In the last thread: Anon wants to confess her feelings to her best friend.

I STILL DON’T KNOW!!

And how is she? I bet she’s one of those cute, clueless girls who can’t catch your signals.

Hmm, you say that, but she can be incredibly sharp sometimes.

So I was right! That’s going to be difficult, now you have to be direct and to the point.

I’m afraid that’s going to be the case here…n-not that I’m actually in love, stop!

I’M GOING TO MARRY MIKI!

Stop being such an attention whore, we are here for Miki.

Come on, Anon, don’t be mean. We just want to help a fellow Miki sister!

y-you don’t have to fight because of me! It wasn’t my intention to derail the thread.

Don’t pay attention to her, everyone else here wants to help you!

I’m a guy

I’m a guy

Now who’s the attention whore again?

This thread is closed

This morning, a suicide attempt was thwarted by an unidentified local woman. The incident occurred at the Artemis Will Mall, where people noticed someone was at the rooftop of the building. Fire fighters were called as soon as their presence was noticed by pedestrians, but the person jumped off without notice.

A mysterious rescuer

Just when the would-be suicide victim jumped off, a local woman was able to catch them mid-air, and fled the scene before anyone could identify her. The mall is taking extra security measures now.

This is not really a surprise, but a lot of people seem to hate this particular brand of instant food.

This is from a survey we conducted here at The Augmented Eye last month. We asked our readers to tell us their most hated dishes.

And with a total of six thousand votes, it looks like the market for shrimp ramen is reducing! That’s good. Because it SUCKS. It sucks so much, I barf a little everytime I smell it. How can anyone LIKE that? It’s ridiculous.

Ugh, can’t even finish this article. I’m sorry, everyone, but I have to puke.

Blergh. I hope it’s put out of sale.

A dog, you say? Why not? After receiving brain enhancements, they’re capable of learning at near-human speeds, so why is it so impossible to imagine a gifted dog who uses their brilliance for programming?

It makes a lot of sense, right?

Well, maybe, 010101000100100001000101 001000000101001001000101 010101000101001001001001 010000100101010101010100 010010010100111101001110 001000000100100101010011 001000000100001101001111

Now we need to go to the store and get a Holo-Plant, as well as some Mulan Tea, for Reasons.

jill “…”

jill “BWAH!!”

dana%20helmet “That’s a sound you don’t hear every day.”

jill “B-Boss? What are you doing with that helmet?”

dana%20helmet “I was just about to ask you where it came from.”

jill “A White Knight came yesterday. She left and…well…she forgot to take it with her.”

jill “I figured she’d eventually come looking for it so I left it under the count-…wait.”

jill “Do you regularly put things on without asking who they belong to first?”

dana%20helmet “I don’t plan and evaluate every move, Jill…I just act.”

dana%20helmet “Anyway, as your boss, I’m taking this helmet until the client comes for it.”

jill “You sound happy.”

dana%20helmet “Well, this helmet is comfortable. And cool. And comfortable, and cool, and…and really, really cool.”

gil “‘ello…”

gil “I’M NOT GOING BACK TO HONG KONG!!!”

dana%20helmet “Hong Kong?”

gil “C-Chief?”

dana%20helmet “Apparently.”

dana%20helmet “I’ll leave the rest up to you. I’ll detonate the Pluto Warhead somewhere safe.”

jill “The what where now?”

jill “She’s been tense these last couple of days. If she’s somehow relaxed now, good.”

jill “Are you all set?”

jill “Alright.”

jill “Time to mix drinks and change lives.”

jill (“Luck he says…”)

jill “Oh, Mr. Donovan. Welcome to Valhalla. What can I get you?”

donovan “What do you think I want, kid?”

jill “…”

donovan%20smiling“Yes. Now, that’s what I call service!”

jill “That’s good to hear.”

jill “What brings you here today, Mr. Donovan?”

donovan “Today, we were supposed to hand the interns an article topic.”

donovan “All those crazy bitches came flocking to me like the first high schooler with a car.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “I couldn’t deal with it, so I switched places with some poor sap.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “He was supposed to be doing an interview today, but to hell with that.”

donovan%20smiling“And thanks to all that shit, I found myself here, blessing your hell hole with my presence.”

jill “You were here yesterday too. How did that come about?”

donovan “There’s this gal that’s performing at a concert later tonight.”

donovan “Yesterday, I was tuning the details of the interview I’d have with her today.”

donovan “And like I said, I’d rather work here than deal with a pack of competitive bitches.”

jill “I see.”

jill “How was the interview?”

donovan “Easy enough. The fact that the gal had a nice pair of knockers helped.”

donovan “We’ve gone a long way in the department of Lilim sex appeal, I tell you.”

jill “She was a Lilim then?”

donovan “Yes, one of those new fancy King-Class CH1A models.”

donovan “I’ve heard they’re anatomically correct in every way.”

Whyyyyyyyyyy.

donovan “I wouldn’t mind finding out about that myself.”

donovan “Hm? Hey, you! The guy with a John face.”

gil “Huh? Me?”

gil “What the hell is a “John Face?””

donovan “Yeah, you. Do I know you?”

gil “I don’t think so, sir.”

donovan “No, no. I’m pretty sure I know you.”

donovan “Wait wait wait…it was the Hong Kong riots ten years ago, right?”

gil “I-I’ve never been to Hong Kong…and I certainly didn’t defect from any anti-riot force after stealing supplies.”

donovan “Really? That’s a bummer.”

donovan “You look like a guy who owes me a drink.”

Jil: “You were in those riots, Mr. Donovan?”

donovan “Do I look like some anarchist hippie to you?”

donovan “Ten years ago, I tried to start a silicone business.”

donovan “So, I was in Hong Kong talking with some investors when those damned riots broke out.”

donovan “Seriously, though. Did they really think the laws they were trying to pass wouldn’t backfire?”

donovan “They were openly trying to segregate people with augmentations!”

donovan “No matter how many “They have different capabilities” you put in-between, it’s still segregation.”

donovan “And once people start screaming “Segregation!” like that you’re doomed.”

donovan “This is the PR century! If you’re gonna do that, disguise it a bit.”

jill “That’s a…very laconic way of summarizing the incident.”

jill “I mean, there was a political agenda revolving around cheap labour.”

Sounds like regular capitalism to me.

jill “And the plan reached such a developed stage because the media was instilling fear in the public.”

jill “The general fear that augmented people would become power-hungry maniacs was a key factor in the plans.”

jill “And everything is mostly the aftermath of previous protests where-…”

jill “…”

jill “On second thought, maybe it’s better to be laconic.”

jill “Trying to get the full picture might take you back beyond the industrial revolution.”

jill “All that happened when I got out of high school.”

jill “I remember I had to turn down a scholarship in Hong Kong because of all that.”

donovan “Heh, scholarship. That’s no mean feat, brat.”

jill “Well, I guess even without the scholarship, there would have been the language barrier.”

jill “I remember I was kinda excited back then because I was really into this one Chinese idol band.”

I, for one, welcome our new C-Pop overlords.

jill “It’s…one of those things I’d rather not remember much of.”

donovan%20smiling“You’d be surprised at how easy Chinese can be.”

jill “So you know how to speak Chinese?”

donovan “The only translator I had available was some pizza-faced pencilneck.”

donovan “And I wasn’t gonna allow myself to be seen with THAT.”

donovan “If someone like me can learn Chinese in two weeks, well…”

donovan%20slight%20smile “I’m guessing a scholarship student might have a chance.”

jill (“Why do I feel like he suddenly challenged me to finally learn Chinese?”)

jill (“Chinese?”)

jill “Wait…when you say “Chinese”, do you mean Mandarin or Cantonese?”

donovan “Tangerine? Cantowhat?”

jill “When people say “Chinese”, they’re usually referring to the written word. Not the spoken one.”

jill “It’s important to clarify because there are lots of dialects in the Chinese language.”

jill “In Hong Kong, lots of people speak Cantonese, so just saying “Chinese” won’t do.”

jill “You might’ve learned Cantonese because you were only going to Hong Kong.”

jill “Or you might’ve learned Mandarin because it’s the one spoken by the majority elsewhere…”

donovan “I went to Hong Kong and managed to seal a deal. I have no idea about anything else.”

jill “R-Right…”

donovan “Anyways, surely a student with a scholarship can serve me a Marsblast too, right?”

jill “…”

jillahem S-Sure, on it.”

donovan “Alright, I guess I’ll believe your story.”

jill (“Right…”)

donovan “Hey kid, I got wasted yesterday, so there’s certain protocol here.”

donovan “Would you mind telling me if I said anything someone could use against me in a court of law?”

jill “Unless complaining about your investors can be used as a legal weapon, I don’t think so.”

donovan%20smiling“Oh, good. Fuck those sons of bitches.”

donovan “What did I tell you?”

jill “How they wanted unreasonable stuff, how they feel like they have more power than you do, and all that.”

donovan “Oh yeah, I recall something like that. But then again, it seems to be something I say a lot when drunk.”

donovan “That and racial slurs in German.”

jill (“Racial slurs in…what?”)

donovan “But let me tell you something. There are people worse than your investors.”

jill “Who?”

donovan “Your clients.”

jill “E-Excuse me?”

donovan “Your readers! If you think clients are always right then you’re wrong - unless I’m the client, that is.”

donovan “We live in an era where PR is the first and only word in anything.”

donovan “You can sell the shittiest of stuff and people will buy it if you’re the apple of their eyes.”

donovan “But make one fucking mistake and it’s OVER for you. You’re suddenly a criminal to them.”

donovan “No chance of appeal. Gods forbid if they ever catch something you said out of context.”

donovan “A month ago, we had to clarify that we were talking about the animal in an article about “cougars in nearby forests.””

donovan “All because we got a pack of forty-year-old divorced soccer moms crying about hurt feelings.”

donovan “They were having picnic parties in the same forests and thought we were writing about them.”

donovan “God! I hope at least one of them gets eaten by their damned namesake.”

jill “Pfft…”

donovan “Yeah, it’s funny when somebody else hears it, but the smell of rosy perfume still makes my blood boil.”

donovan “Nowadays, nobody can take a joke. They’re always out for blood.”

donovan “You can’t win. You will ALWAYS offend somebody.”

Anyone else get the feeling that the devs are complaining because someone said a mean thing to them on Twitter?

donovan “And while some take it graciously, many just LOVE feeling insulted.”

donovan “They RELISH the thought of ganging up against something.”

donovan “And those hypersensitive bastards are your clients - they’re the ones you have to target.”

donovan “I run a goddamn newspaper! The whole point is to present news in the most neutral way possible!”

Hahaha sure buddy.

donovan “Being offended by a newspaper is like being angry at the mirror.”

jill (“Sure…let’s go with that.”)

jill (“I mean, it’s not like he’s totally wrong, but…”)

jill (“Hearing it from him is kinda…”)

donovan “Damn, look at the time, I need to get back to work soon.”

jill “Really?”

donovan “I just finished an interview and it must be posted as soon as possible.”

donovan “The fact that we’re posting it AFTER the chick finished her concert is enough of a problem already.”

jill “Something delayed in the interview?”

donovan “The interview was supposed to happen last Friday!”

donovan “One of the interns - this meek little girl - was supposed to do it, but for some fucking reason, she just didn’t.”

donovan “I spent two days negotiating something else instead.”

jill “”Negotiating”…did you have to pay or something?””

donovan “Basically, when that encore concert happens, I need to plaster that chick’s face all over the front page.”

jill “I see…”

donovan “Okay then. One last drink before I leave.”

donovan “Give me something bitter to wake me up.”

jill “Sure.”

donovan “Yeah, this works just fine.”

donovan “Man, that gal’s producer was angry as fuck. Trying to negotiate with him was a hassle.”

donovan “I’ve had less problems dealing with SoCal Justice Warriors.”

I literally made the same joke back in 2012…Christ.

jill “Who?”

donovan “SoCal Justice Warriors, that mafia/vigilante group that runs around solving crimes in swimsuits.”

jill “Oh yeah, those artificially blond, artificially tanned folks with big blunt objects. Yeah.”

donovan “They’re an interesting group, you know?”

donovan “They only accept people born or raised in South California and go through hellish training on a daily basis.”

jill “They have to. No normal person can run around in swimsuits in this cold weather.”

donovan “They have an interesting view on the world and how it works, but they’re pretty sensitive too.”

donovan “Too many outlets have insulted them in the past, so they are trigger-happy against defamation.”

donovan “I’ve had a dozen guys in speedos talking to me about some news while flaunting their bags of batteries.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “And they were still more polite than that producer guy.”

donovan “Think about it. Watching a banana hammock move at the same time as a bag of batteries was more pleasant.”

jill “I’m pretty sure there’s a “banana hammocks and bags of batteries” audience somewhere, though.”

donovan “Well, I’m out.”

jill “Thank you, please come again.”

jill “That was…um…tiring.”

jill “…don’t tell me.”

dana%20helmet “Yup. I can’t take the helmet off.”

gil “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

dana%20helmet “Yeah, yeah. Very funny.”

jill “Did you check the internet for help?”

dana%20helmet “”How to take off a Valkyrie-type White Knight helmet” is not precisely a common query, you know?”

dana%20helmet “I could break it, but I don’t wanna damage a client’s propert-…”

dana%20helmet “…”

jill “W-What? Did you run out of air?!”

dana%20helmet “I just realized you served a Valkyrie in Valhalla.”

gil “HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

jill “Shit…d-don’t scare me like that.”

dana%20helmet “I don’t think you can run out of air with this helmet.”

jill “What are you gonna do?”

dana%20helmet “Let’s see…where was her number…oh! Here it is.”

dana%20helmet “Hey, Iris! I need some unclogging advice.”

jill “Iris?”

gil “More importantly, will Chief be fine?”

jill “She will. Even if there’s no God or Buddha, you can always trust Boss.”

:tw: Pedophilia warning for…well, this entire character, because she’s just a walking trigger, honestly.

jill “Ah, Dorothy.”

jill “Yeah, I can see you. Why?”

dorothy%20upset “Really? Man! Did they sell me the wrong stuff?”

jill “Who sold you what?”

dana%20helmet “…are you talking to yourself again?”

jill “No, I’m not.”

dorothy%20smiling “Hello!”

dana%20helmet “Oh, hello Dorothy…wherever you are.”

jill “She didn’t see you?”

dorothy “Oh! I get it now.”

dorothy “They sold me a VIC Jammer. Not an optic camouflage system.”

jill “Um…care to explain?”

dorothy “Have you seen those pics or videos of someone stripping or undressing?”

dorothy “But I mean the ones where the clothes are the only thing you see and the other person is invisible.”

jill “…come again?”

dorothy “There’s people out there with a fetish for invisible people.”

dorothy “Where you can only see a few articles of clothes floating about.”

dorothy “I was trying to find something that would let me cater to that fetish, but my contract misunderstood my request.”

dorothy “I asked him to bring me something that’d make me invisible. And he did.”

dorothy “But I’m only invisible to cameras.”

jill “…”

jill “Even then, wouldn’t your clothes be invisible too with such a jammer or something?”

dorothy%20upset “Hm…you have a point.”

dorothy “Oh well. I’ll work something out. Maybe I’ll get a Nanocamo module.”

jill “Nanocamo?”

dorothy “Haven’t you heard of Nanocamo?”

dorothy “They’re a military technology company that recently branched to civilian appliances.”

dorothy “They use nanotechnology to make fabric or other materials take any color or texture you want.”

dorothy “You can order a module from them and change the colors of clothes, walls or tables with it!”

jill “Hm…sounds interesting. Maybe I’ll look it up.”

jill “What does that have to do with what you want though?”

dorothy “If I remember correctly, they have a module that makes things almost invisible to the human eye.”

dorothy “It was quite pricey last I checked though.”

jill “”Almost?” “To the human eye?””

dorothy%20upset “Well, it’s not perfect, if you move you’d be an eerie, surroundings-colored blob.”

dorothy%20upset “And we Lilim see things differently, so it’s ineffective against us.”

dorothy “Still, it might be what I need…”

dorothy%20flirty “Now, what was that about talking to yourself “again”?”

jill “Nothing important.”

jill “What are you having?”

dorothy “I’m in a good mood, so give me a Piano Woman.”

jill “Sure.”

dorothy “Thanks! I love these ones, you know?”

dorothy “I keep them for special occasions - whenever I’m feeling good or when I need to get out of a slump.”

jill “And today?”

dorothy%20smiling “Today I feel good.”

jill “That’s nice.”

dorothy “Okay, then. How’s this for a bonus payment?”

jill “Oh…the ticket from Friday.”

jill (“Can’t believe I still remember that.”)

dorothy “That guy was so nice in giving it to me.”

dorothy “…too bad it was filled to the brim with dogs. I would’ve enjoyed the drink here otherwise.”

jill (“I don’t think this ticket should be valid…”)

jill (“…but then again, they were improvised, so there isn’t really a contract involved or anything.”)

dorothy “You know…”

jill “Hm?”

dorothy%20flirty “If you’re lonely enough to start talking to yourself, we could hit an arrangement.”

dorothy%20flirty “Keep me fed and I’ll keep you company.”

dorothy%20flirty “You’ll still need to pay if you want to get naughty, though.”

jill “I think I’ll pass. I already have a cat that does all that.”

dorothy “Do you pay him to-…”

jill “Finish that sentence and I’ll make sure you truly become invisible.”

dorothy%20upset “Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. Consider this a standing offer, though.”

dorothy “Oh! Hey John!”

gil “Ah, Dorothy.”

dorothy “Didn’t see you here last Friday.”

gil “I was…dealing with some stuff over the weekend.”

jill “AND Monday.”

gil “Yeah, yeah…”

dorothy “Was it a girl?”

gil “I wish…”

dorothy “What did you do? What did you do?”

gil “I’d rather not talk about it.”

dorothy “Hey honey, what did he do?”

jill “Gil’s been a complete mystery for as long as I’ve known him.”

jill “His past is like a nebulous mass that tries to bite him every once in a while.”

dorothy “Nebulous?”

jill “You hear so much random stuff it’s hard to make connections about what happened when.”

jill “And, you know, people lie.”

dorothy “Does your boss know about it?”

jill “She said “I’m not one to judge”. Seems like she knows what the hell’s going on.”

jill “But I think I’m better off not knowing. It’s not really that necessary and it’s a pain to think about.”

gil “I’m…right here, you know?”

jill “Did I tell any lies?”

gil “No, but…”

gil “…nevermind.”

dorothy “Oh yeah. About your boss. Why was she wearing a helmet?”

jill “She found it. She put it on. Now, she’s stuck.”

dorothy%20upset “Oh. Yeah, randomly putting on stuff you find is problematic.”

jill “No shit.”

dorothy%20upset “I mean, there’s this girl that wanted to see if she could use a glass bottle as a-…”

jillahem A bit early for those stories, don’t you think?”

dorothy%20upset “Nope.”

jill “By the way, it’s weird that I didn’t see you yesterday.”

dorothy “I have a job too, you know?”

jill “Yeah, but you usually come before you start.”

dorothy%20flirty “Aww…did you miss me that much?”

dorothy “Yesterday was a bit different. I worked the entire day.”

jill “I don’t know if I should ask.”

dorothy “Oh, it was weird, but not…kinky weird?”

dorothy “The guy paid me to spend ALL DAY pretending to be his daughter.”

jill “Really?”

dorothy “Yeah, I go to his house at 11 a.m, dress as requested and spend all day there.”

dorothy “Play some games, occasionally tell him I love him, go to bed when ordered, and leave.”

dorothy%20upset “Nothing sexual. I used to expect him to push me against the ground and have his way with me.”

dorothy%20upset “But after three years, it’s unlikely that’ll happen.”

jill “Three years?”

dorothy “Yeah. One day a year for three years now.”

dorothy “Oh, but last year he also wanted me to play the part on his daughter’s birthday.”

jill “Wait a second…does he have a daughter or not?”

dorothy “Had. Seems she died four years ago.”

jill “Oh…”

dorothy%20upset “Yup. I seem to attract that kind of people for some reason.”

jill “What kind of people?”

dorothy “Nobody. I said nothing.”

dorothy%20flirty “Give me a Moonblast, would you?”

jill “Sure.”

dorothy “There’s something interesting about this drink.”

dorothy “I don’t actually like it, but I can’t stop drinking them.”

jill “It tastes like a bit of sugar drowned in pure alcohol. Small wonder you feel like that.”

jill “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you…”

dorothy%20smiling “Yes, I’m single and I don’t mind that you’re a girl.”

jill “Do you actually mind what anyone is?”

dorothy “Not at all.”

jill “Anyway, it’s not about that…”

jill “Do all DFC-72s look like kids?”

dorothy “Yes and no.”

dorothy “Out of factory, we look like kids because our development needs to be as close to human as possible.”

jill “Then you look like babies outside the factory?”

dorothy “Nope, every fresh DFC-72 looks about 10 to 13. It makes it easier to upgrade later.”

jill “Upgrade?”

dorothy “Once a DFC-72 passes three “maturity tests” it can opt for a factory upgrade.”

dorothy “Said upgrade alters its body to something older.”

dorothy “Some go for it, some don’t.”

jill “Will you go through it?”

dorothy%20upset “I don’t know. Right now, I’m a rarity.”

dorothy “You don’t find many like me in my line of work, so I have an advantage.”

dorothy “And I really need that advantage, you know?”

jill “How so?”

dorothy%20upset “When people hire me, half the time it’s not because I’m me.”

dorothy%20upset “The amount of roleplaying I have to do on a normal night is ridiculous.”

dorothy%20upset “So, if I stop looking underaged, I’ll lose my advantage over everyone else.”

jill “I didn’t think about it that way.”

jill (“Should I think about it at all?”)

dorothy “ I mean, maybe I’ll go through with it if I ever decide to retire or something.”

dorothy “But right now I’m just fine the way I am!”

jill “I see.”

jill gil “Welcome to…!”
jill gil “…”

dorothy%20flirty “Does that happen a lot?”

jill “Not really.”

gil “It would happen less if Jill would just let people call her Jules.”

jill “Call me Jules and I’ll make sure every time you sit, you’ll hear the cling of your shaker.”

gil “Fine, fine…”

gil “I’ll be with you in a minute, Jamie. Just let me finish here.”

jamie “Sure, no hurry.”

dorothy “Hello sailor.”

jill “…”

jamie “Hello, young lady.”

dorothy “Just call me Dorothy. You’re Jamie, right?”

jamie “Nice to meet you, Dorothy.”

dorothy “Hey, hey! Let me buy you a drink!”

jamie “Oh, I couldn’t let you do that…”

dorothy “I insist! I got a hefty bonus the other day and today I’m in a good mood.”

jamie “I suppose it’d be impolite of me to reject…”

jamie “Sure, I’ll take your offer.”

dorothy “Yay! Honey, I’ll have a big Sunshine Cloud.”

jamie “I’ll be fine with just a Gut Punch.”

dorothy “Come on! Don’t be stingy! Ask for something more expensive!”

jamie “I’d rather not.”

jill (“Man, that girl puts me on edge with the way she addresses people.”)

jill “Okay then. Let me get your orders.”

dorothy “Thank you!”

jamie “All in order. Thank you, Dorothy.”

dorothy “Don’t mention it.”

jamie “And thank you Jill.”

jill “It’s my job.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “Hey Dorothy, may I ask you something…ah, private?”

dorothy%20smiling “If you need a price list, I have a convenient card with updated fees!”

dorothy%20smiling “I can give you a discount if you pay for the room or invite me to dinner.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “No, thank you. It’s not about that.”

dorothy “Then go ahead! I don’t think you can ask me something I’ve never been asked before.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “Is it true that the DFC-72 line leaves tracking nanomachines in the other person after…well…”

dorothy “After they violate every hole in your body regardless of its original purpose?”

jamie%20embarrassed “…ahem Yes.”

dorothy “That’s a semi-myth that nobody has tried to dispel.”

dorothy “It’s true, but also not true at the same time.”

jamie “Care to explain?”

dorothy “We do have tracking machines, but they’re released when the body enters alert mode.”

dorothy “When we’re being assaulted or the like. That way, the authorities can chase down the attacker.”

dorothy%20upset “It’s kind of buggy, though.”

dorothy%20upset “I’ve heard stories of DFC-72s who marry, get nervous on their wedding night, and BAM!”

dorothy%20upset “Their partners end up spending the honeymoon in jail.”

jamie “I see.”

dorothy “And besides, I’ve modded myself so much that if any tracking nanomachines were still being released…”

dorothy “I’d have to commend their tenacity to be honest.”

dorothy “There’s also this urban myth that those nanomachines help improve performance, but that’s just silly.”

dorothy “Now I get to ask you something!”

jamie “Sure, go ahead.”

dorothy “How much of you is still organic?”

jamie “Just enough that my skin still heals over time.”

dorothy “Come on! You know that’s not what I mean!”

jamie%20sideways%20look “I’ll tell you that and nothing more, young lady.”

dorothy%20pout “Fiiiiiiiiiiiiine, see if I care.”

jill “Thank you, please come again.”

jill “She’s so earnest about what she does that it’s kinda hard not to root for her.”

jill “…she also has no qualms about anything whatsoever and that becomes a problem from time to time.”

gil “Okay, I’m done here.”

jill “Right, I’m gonna go and take my…”

dana%20helmet “GIIIIIIIIIL!!! I NEED YOUR GIRLY HANDS FOR A SECOND HERE!!”

gil “Coming!”

gil “Sorry, can you take care of him while I help her?”

jill “Sure, no problem.”

jamie “I apologize if I’m taking time from your break.”

jill “Nah, don’t worry. Sorry you’ll have to deal with me.”

jamie “You’re no problem, Jill.”

jill “Yeah, but you usually seem to have a blast when Gil’s the one serving you.”

jill “Anyway, do you want something else?”

jamie “Can you make me a Marsblast?”

jill “That I can.”

jamie “Bitter and mind-numbing. Just like war.”

jill “Have you been to war?”

jamie “Life’s a war we fight every day, Jill.”

jill “So you haven’t been to a war.”

jamie “Not to an official one, at least.”

jill “There’s something I’ve been wondering for a while now.”

jamie “What could that be?”

jill “First it was how a professional assassin could be so polite and pleasant to be around…”

jill “…but I guess your line of work doesn’t have to have any bearing on your personality.”

jamie “Thanks a lot.”

jill “What I’ve often wondered about is how can you be so calm here?”

jill “Aren’t you worried about police or the like?”

jamie “Well…first of all, I try to keep everything as clean as possible.”

jamie “Second, I don’t come here looking for trouble, so I don’t raise suspicion.”

jamie “And finally, you can thank your boss for easing my mind about other folks.”

jill “My boss?”

jamie “I’ve seen what she’s done. I feel safe here.”

jamie “She could take care of things if I went haywire.”

jill “Haywire? You?”

jamie “Don’t mind that.”

jill (“Hard not to mind if if you just said…”)

jill “Hm…”

jill “You…wouldn’t happen to know how she got her mechanical arm, would you?”

jamie “I heard she lost her original fighting a cyborg wrestler that had gone rogue.”

jamie “Just a rumor, though.”

jill “Damn…I still don’t know, then.”

jamie “Have you tried asking her?”

jill “She told me “It’s more interesting if it’s left a mystery.””

jill “Which leads me to believe that she might have started some of the rumors herself.”

jamie “They’re believable because she’s her.”

jill “Maybe I’ll see her in action some day.”

jamie “You should. It’s quite the show.”

gil “Good news, Jill. The helmet came off and you can take your break.”

jill “Finally.”

jill “It’s always a pleasure, Jamie.”

jamie “Thank you, Jill.”

jill “Boss, break!”

dana%20regular “Alright!”


#6

jill “I’m fine, thanks.”

jill “How did you get the helmet off?”

dana%20regular “Turns out the release button was jammed with ashes.”

dana%20regular “Whoever owns that helmet made sure to use it to the point of voiding the warranty.”

dana%20regular “Keep it safe in case she comes back, okay?”

jill “Sure.”

jill “R-Right…”

???: “Yes! It’s open. Great!”

jill “Welcome to Valhalla.”

kira “Did I step into some kind of afterlife?”

jill “Do you often enter places without knowing what they are?”

kira “Sorta. Kinda. Yeah?”

jill “Well. This is a bar.”

kira%20smiling “A bar? Nice! Nice!”

jill “What can I get you?”

kira “I don’t know…I don’t drink that much, to be honest.”

kira “What do you recommend for me?”

jill “What do you normally enjoy?”

kira%20smiling “I like tea.”

jill “That’s…not something I can work with.”

jill “What about flavors?”

kira “Bitter but not too bitter?”

kira “Sorry if it’s too confusing.”

jill (“Something bitter but not too much. Maybe something bitter and girly?”)

jill “Let me see what I can get you.”

Here’s why we got the Mulan Tea. And yes, that is a Simpsons reference in the drink menu.

kira%20smiling “Hey, I like this one!”

kira “But didn’t you say you didn’t have tea?”

jill “Well, it’s not freshly made tea or anything like that.”

jill “You don’t look like you’re from around here. What brought you by, Miss…?”

kira%20smiling “I’m the star that always shines in the dark night sky!”

kira%20smiling “I’m the glow that will guide you through your sorrow!”

kira%20smiling “I’m the northern light that will show you your dreams!”

kira%20smiling “I’m ✩Kira✩ Miki!”

jill “S-So…Should I call you Miss Miki or Miss Kira?”

kira “No, you’re not getting it, I’m just ✩Kira✩ Miki.”

kira “Here, let me help you. I’ll say Kira and you say Miki, okay?”

jill “Okay.”

kira%20smiling “Kira!”

jill “…M-Miki.”

kira%20smiling “No no no no! Put more spirit into it!”

kira%20smiling “Kira!”

jill “M-Miki.”

kira%20smiling “Almost there!”

kira%20smiling “Kira!”

jill “Miki.”

kira%20smiling “Kira!”

jill “Miki!”

kira%20smiling “Kira!!”

kira%20smiling “Kira!!”

kira%20smiling “That’s it! Are you feeling it?”

kira%20smiling “Kira!!!”

kira%20smiling “Kira!!!”

jill gil jamie dana%20regular “Miki!!!”

kira%20smiling “Kira!!!”

jill gil jamie dana%20regular “Miki!!!”

kira%20smiling “And don’t you ever forget it!”

jill gil jamie dana%20regular “…”

jill “Wow. You’re good.”

kira%20smiling “Thank you!”

kira “It’s nice to know I still have it.”

kira “Especially since I have a concert in a bit.”

jill “Concert?”

jill “Wait, you’re the Lilim that’s putting on a concert tonight?”

kira “I’m ONE Lilim who is putting on a concert tonight. I don’t know if I’m the same Lilim you’re looking for.”

jill “And what are you doing all the way down here?”

kira “Well, they were making last preparations for the concert so I snuck out.”

kira “My producer is always obnoxious while that’s going on, so I just decided to leave.”

kira “I saw one of the concert’s posters outside and decided to check this place.”

jill (“Just that? Isn’t that a bit…dangerous?”)

jill “Won’t your producer be mad when you go back?”

kira “He will, but it’s not the first time I’ve done this.”

kira “And he still needs me to do the concert anyways.”

jill “I-I see…”

jill “How big is the concert?”

kira “We planned for a bit over 100,000 people and sold out fast.”

kira “So, we managed to secure ourselves another show in a couple of weeks.”

jill “Oh, that’s nice.”

kira%20smiling “Yeah. I may not have as many fans as other performers, but mine are very loyal, and that’s nice.”

jill (“Over 100,000 is not many? Then what exactly is?”)

jill “Hold on. Then, based on your little demonstration from before, I should call you “Ms. Miki”, right?

kira%20smiling “You don’t get it! Let’s start from the top.”

jill “I’ll just call you Ms. Idol then.”

kira “Oh! I like that.”

kira “Hey, do you have anything…soft?”

jill “Soft? As in alcohol-free?”

kira “No, I meant soft as in soft.”

jill “Soft…?”

jill “L-Let’s see what I can get you.”

kira%20smiling “Yeah, this’ll do it. Thanks!”

kira “Hey, have you considered being more theatrical when mixing drinks?”

jill “Eh?”

kira “Yeah, you know. Like spinning bottles and lighting drinks on fire. That kind of stuff.”

jill “When I was in college, I tried going to a party once.”

jill “The bartender who tried those tricks gave me a nasty bump on the forehead when the bottle slipped his hand.”

jill “Those kind of theatrics usually feel pointless and seem to slow down the process of actually making a drink.”

kira “Yeah, but never underestimate the power of putting on a good show.”

kira “It can feel incredible and be very rewarding, you know?”

jill “I’ll keep it in mind.”

kira “Hmhm…”

kira “Hey, is this glass important?”

jill “Depends on why you’re asking.”

kira “Do you want me to sign it?”

jill “Oh. Sure, I guess?”

kira “No guessing! Are you sure or not?”

jill “Yeah. Do as you please.”

kira “Okay, then. Who should I make it out to?”

jill (“Maybe for my boss? I wonder if Gil would like it though.”)

kira “Your name, girl!”

jill “Oh! For Jill then.”

kira%20smiling “”For Jill. Never lose your star. From ✩Kira✩ Miki.””

jill “Oh, that’s a pretty autograph.”

kira%20smiling “Thanks!”

jill “No, thank you.”

jill “I’m guessing someone with as many fans as you has their fair share of stalkers, right?”

kira%20smiling “Well, there are two kinds of people that obsess over me.”

kira%20smiling “There are the shy ones that follow me everywhere, hiding just out of sight.”

kira%20smiling “And then there’s my fanclub.”

jill “What’s the difference between then?”

kira%20smiling “The fanclub follows me around a lot too, but they usually keep a distance.”

kira%20smiling “Actually, I think they’re outside waiting for me right now.”

jill “I-I see…”

kira%20smiling “They’re also very organized. They’d make pretty good soldiers.”

kira “The others, the stalkers, are a bit sneakier and don’t act in groups.”

jill “I’m guessing those stalkers must be bothersome, huh…”

kira “Actually, they’re not that bad.”

kira “Stalkers are nice when you get used to them.”

kira “I remember one once protected me from being mugged.”

kira “There’s another that breaks into my house once a week to make me breakfast.”

jill (“And she fails to see the problem?”)

kira “I just wish they’d leave my underwear drawer the same way they find it.”

kira “I take pride in how neatly I organize my underwear, you know?”

jill “I take pride in my old liquor collection. I guess it’s the same.”

jill (“No, wait. It isn’t!”)

kira “Yeah! You get me, Jill.”

jill “…”

kira “Okay, one more drink before I go.”

kira “By now, the stage should be all organized, so the fallout should have settled.”

jill “Isn’t it a bit late for a concert?”

kira%20smiling “It’s part of my gimmick. I always make concerts that go from night till dawn.”

kira%20smiling “In this one, I’m supposed to close with a song called Sunshine Stone.”

kira%20smiling “If everything goes as planned and the weather forecast is accurate…”

kira%20smiling “The sun should come up just as I reach the climax of the song.”

kira%20smiling “I’d be depressed if they ask for “Your Love Is A Drug” as an encore though…”

jill “That sounds nice.”

kira “Hey, I need to make people feel their tickets were worth the ridiculous price, you know?”

kira “Don’t you think it sucks to pay for something, only to find out you shouldn’t have bothered?”

jill “Yeah. One time I bought some expensive coffee in this one cafe…”

jill “It tasted like filthy water with cream. I still don’t know if it was the coffee or the girl that served it, but it was BAD.”

kira “Man, that sucks.”

kira “Speaking of which, do you have anything bitter? I really need to wake myself up.”

jill “Let’s see what I can find for you.”

kira “Yeah, this works.”

jill “So, how is it?”

kira “It could be a bit sweeter but it’s delicious.”

jill “I figured it was for waking you up or something so…”

kira “Really nice, thanks!”

jill “I hope you aren’t offended by this question, but…”

kira “Hm?”

jill “I can see that you enjoy what you do, but how much of it is about the music?”

kira%20smiling “I’ll let you know that before becoming ✩Kira✩ Miki, I was a very accomplished pianist.”

kira%20smiling “I had concerts every week and part-timed in bars with a jazz band.”

kira%20smiling “I still write and compose my own songs!”

jill “Whoa…”

jill “Why the change?”

jill “Going from jazz and piano to idol…”

kira “Have you ever thought about the power music has over people?”

kira “You could argue it’s just noise, but it can make you feel a wide range of emotions.”

kira “And that power is universal. It can transcend language and culture.”

kira “Being in a jazz band or performing recitals, I can only take that power to so many people.”

kira%20smiling “But being an Idol, I can take that power and spread it far and wide!”

kira%20smiling “Kids and adults, men and women. They all have access to my music, and I can reach every one of them!”

jill “Wow…”

kira “What music do you like, Jill?”

jill “I’m not picky, but I do prefer versions with no lyrics.”

kira “Why?”

jill “I like to listen to music while working, and lyrics distract me.”

jill “And besides, it always bothers me when people nonchalantly start singing songs with creepy lyrics.”

jill “I think only half of the listeners actually care about what’s being said.”

kira “Oh, that’s a bummer.”

kira “I’d give you a copy of my latest CD, but I don’t have any at the moment.”

jill “Don’t worry about it.”

kira “Okay then, I’m out.”

kira “Thanks for helping me pass the time, Jill!”

jill “Sure.”

jill “Please come again.”

gil “Will she be alright?”

jill “Yeah, she’ll be fine.”

gil “You think she’ll come back?”

jill “Usually I’d say no, but I honestly don’t know.”

jill “Boss, we’re done.”

dana%20regular “You feel like going to that girl’s concert?”

jill “Nah, I don’t think so. I don’t have tickets anyway.”

jill “Hey, Boss. Does the name “Red Comet” ring any bells?”

dana%20regular “Why, that was my moniker during my wrestling days.”

jill “Your…huh?”

dana%20regular “That’s what they called me during my time in the Grand Slam Fighters.”

dana%20regular “They saw me coming, but they couldn’t stop me before I CRASHED INTO THEIR HEADS.”

jill “Any reason for being red specifically?”

dana%20regular “That way I was three times faster!”

dana%20regular “How did you find that out? Do you like wrestling?”

jill “A client mentioned it yesterday when he saw you. I just kinda remembered it.”

dana%20regular “Ah, I see.”

dana%20regular “I should take you to a wrestling match sometime. Maybe you’ll like it.”

jill “Maybe.”

jill “In any case, Gil’s cleaning the glasses today, so I’ll leave now.”

dana%20regular “Take care.”

jill “Oh, and…boss?”

jill “Don’t cram anything on your head without thinking, please.”

dana%20blushing “Yeah, yeah…”


#7

Dorothy is an attempt to ask a philosophical question to which the answer is “no.”


#8

Dorothy is the apotheosis of the developers’ horniness, tbh.


#9

I didn’t say it was well-executed.


#10

✩Kira✩ Miki’s blog rarely updates, so we won’t be checking on it much.

In the last thread: Anon hates fun.

;_; I don’t want fights…

You people are so immature, what’s wrong with being a guy in danger/u/?

why do you care if we assume you’re a girl anyway? fuck off

dudes

in danger/u/

pfft hahaha

Let’s go back to the concert please!

207X and you stupid idiots still care about petty shit like this.

HE started everything by mentioning he is a guy.

sigh

A-Anyway, we should gather somewhere to take the train to the stadium together!

Not a bad idea! we can make an official danger/u/ meetup!

danger/u/ meetup

Like I’d want to be seen with a bunch of ugly girls in front of my friends.

OK, next thread I’m going to moderate the fuck out of this, no more shitposting!

This thread is closed.

In the last thread: NO SHITPOSTING ALLOWED!

Did that one anon left?

I think so.

I never left, I was just lurking to not cause any trouble…

Don’t worry, we’re here for you ^^

Any ideas for the great revelation? Do you know if you like her yet?

Look, I just don’t want to ruin our friendship…we know each other since we were very young.

So she’s your childhood friend?! IT’S LIKE ONE OF MY JAPANESE ANIMES!

Y-Yeah…

OK this is what you have to do: When Miki ends singing Lovers in Paradise…You kiss her!

K-K-KISS!?!?!

OF COURSE! just try to imagine how magical that moment would be, with the fireworks and the epic guitar solo…

I…I will think about it…

This thread is closed

:^)

Stop forcing Alice.

So we hate Alice now? GOOD

It’s just that we haven’t heard any news yet. Remember that time they posted here to announce an attack?

LOL yeah, and I remember the Cyber Crime unit up the admin’s ass.

DeCEMBeR 17 W1LLC0ME THe SeC0ND ReTR1BUT10N - B1RTHDAY 1S C0M1NG!!!

that font

oh boy

spooky font

IT’S HAPPENING!!!

HAHA TIME FOR DESPAIR

OH SHIT FUCK

tfw i just got out of jail

I’M NOT GOING BACK, DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE WITH IP’S ON THE WRONG THREAD?

HI CYBER CRIME UNIT, I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I’M NOT ALICE BUT IN FACT YOUR MOM.

why you gals so nervous, the only one getting fucked is the admin

##ADMIN:FERFER## fuck off alice, not this shit again

This thread is closed

A powerful 8.6 magnitude tremor has struck the area of Neo-San Francisco. Fortunately, modern science was able to identify the quake almost an hour in advance, providing the city plenty of time to prepare for the worst.

During a conference call, Glitch City’s Prime Minister QUINCY congratulated the rescue teams at Neo SF for its rapid response in the wake of the warning.

”They’re an example to follow, and we’re certainly looking forward to implement these advancements in earthquake prediction here in our beautiful city.

Glitch City is not currently known to be a seismic zone.

After the numerous protests held around the city, which are caused by an ongoing economic and safety crisis, Glitch City’s Prime Minister QUINCY has made it clear that if the rioters take another civilian life, he’ll personally write a law to ban all kinds of public manifestations.

”This simply can’t go on,” QUINCY told AE during a call. “They only want to destroy public property. They’re actively sabotaging our efforts to recover our beautiful city, and I’ve decided that if they cause another civilian casualty, I’ll do everything in my power to ban protests. The White Knights will have full authorization to use maximum force.”

QUINCY will be running for a second term next year.

Who is Alice_Rabbit? Judging by the complexity of the methods they’ve used to breach all kinds of protected software, some are starting to think this is in fact a group and not a single individual.

So, is Alice_Rabbit a group after all?

Not the first time this would be a thing.

More than half a century ago, a group of notorious hackers rose to prominence, and they called themselves AnonHahAHhah theY wErEnt EvEn a ThrEaT to rEaL protEctEd daTa $#%# ////// dEcEmbEr 17 ////////// #$%#$

It’s been very hectic as of late, so I’d like to share with you what I do to relax!

Sitting on rooftops: I’m on the road most of the time, so I don’t have a specific rooftop to relax on!

I like to feel the breeze and see a beautiful vista. It makes me think about life~

Tea cocktails: Oh this is something I can’t live without. Mixing tea with vodka, rum, gin, lime, you name any tasty and natural combination and I’ll be all over it!

I’m very careful about getting tipsy before a show though, I wouldn’t like to ruin your evening

Brief aside: there’s an emoji here, but I simply couldn’t recreate it.

Hi everyone! are you ready for the dome concert? I sure am!

I perform in a rather large number of concerts every year, and even then I can’t help but be excited every time I have one around the corner.

And it’s all thanks to you! Thanks to your energy and love surrounding my life in every aspect.

I’m going to perform all of your favorite songs, so please be excited!

Just one a little request~~ please don’t wait for me outside the stadium, or my bodyguards will get angry at you. I wouldn’t like to see you hurt so please don’t do it!

OOOH I love this place!

So much energy, so much love, I could feel the optimism in the air!! :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

Even after all the struggles, you still came to see me and I got to experience the loudest and craziest crowd in my whole career. I’m beyond speechless.

That said, I’m excited to announce that we’ll have a second date in the city! It wasn’t easy to set up, but I’m so happy my agency approved it. This was by far our biggest show and I can’t wait to experience it again.

See you soon my darlings. :heart: :heart:

Love, Miki.

Let’s buy Your Love Is A Drug.

gil%20surprised: “Alma?”

alma “Ah, Leonidas.”

gil%20exasperated “Gillian.”

alma “Marcelo.”

jill “I stumbled across her on my way in and asked her if she wanted to tag along.”

alma “Hope you don’t mind.”

gil “Sure. Make yourself at home.”

jill “Where’s Boss? She didn’t put the helmet on again, did she?”

gil “She went out for a bit. I don’t know what for, but she’ll be back.”

jill “Alma, make yourself comfortable while I prepare.”

alma “Right, thanks.”

jill “Time to mix drinks and change lives.”

jill “Oh, just something they made me say back in Instruction. It kind of stuck.”

alma “Huh…”

alma “I went to a school that made us stand up with our hands on our backs when someone came in.”

alma “That habit didn’t rub off until high school or so.”

jill “Yeah, it’s kinda like that.”

jill “Oh yeah, look at this.”

alma “A glass with a signature?”

alma “To Ji…Jiii…um…”

alma%20confused “I’ll assume it’s either an autograph or an impromptu medicine recipe.”

jill “That ✩Kira✩ Miki girl came here yesterday before her concert, actually.”

alma “Oh, yeah. Now I see her name here.”

jill “You don’t seem very surprised.”

alma%20smiling “I like b-LINK more, actually.”

jill “The stoic-looking duo, right?”

alma “Yup, those.”

Alma, tired: “sigh Seems you had a better day than mine yesterday. I had to break up with Damian.”

jill “I see. Want a drink?”

alma%20concerned “You…don’t seem very surprised.”

jill “Alma, we’ve known each other for…what? A few months now?”

jill “I’d be interested if those “relationships” of yours went further than a week or two.”

jill “You say you broke up, but there’s usually not enough time to foster something to break.”

jill “It’s more like…”The guy wasn’t what I wanted so I stopped flirting.””

alma%20sideways%20look “…you could pretend to be more interested, you know?”

jill “Like my mom says: “If I don’t buy it, it’s because I know the product.””

alma “…”

alma “Speaking of buying, do you want a frame?”

jill “A frame?”

alma%20amused “Yeah, for all these pics you have of your Boss. The ones filling your phone’s memory.”

alma%20amused “Some seem sneakily taken at that.”

gil “Is that true?”

jill “What do you care?”

jill “How the hell did you find that out?”

gil “So it IS true!”

jill “Shut up!”

alma%20smiling “I’m a hacker, remember? You shouldn’t piss off a hacker.”

alma “Aw, I really like this one of her sleeping in her office. I think I’ll copy it.”

Because stalking someone is cute and romantic.

jill “You…!”

alma “Hey, can you make me a Bad Touch before we keep arguing?”

jillpfft …Sure.”

alma “Who gives these drinks their silly names?”

jill “Usually the one who registers it.”

jill “Some people have quite the silly sense of humor.”

alma “Like that girl who keeps laughing over this particular drink’s name?”

jill “Yeah, yeah…”

jillahem So. Who’s Damian again?”

alma “The one with the nice car.”

alma “Sure, he’s also the manager at the bank, but that car was what caught my eye.”

jill “And what was wrong with him?”

alma “Turns out he was a LARPer.”

jill “LARP?”

alma “Live Action Role Playing.”

jill “Sounds more like the nickname of some very heavy-handed writer. Or a military organization.”

jill “What did he roleplay as?”

alma “Have you heard of the Woodstock fairs?”

jill “Those events where people barely dress, stink, roll in the mud, and fuck in the open?”

alma%20embarrassed “Those are hippies, yeah.”

alma%20embarrassed “He frequents those and…it’s something I’d rather not deal with. At all.”

alma%20embarrassed “If I stayed with him, I’d eventually have to.”

alma%20sideways%20look “I mean, I need to support my partner in what he does, but if it’s something like that…”

jill “You see? That’s the problem right there.”

jill “You say breaking up like you had something formal, but most of the time you’re still getting to know him.”

jill “Think about it. Have you ended your longest lasting relationships for things like those?”

alma%20concerned “Okay, sorry for not using the right word or whatever. But I’m still sorely disappointed.”

alma%20concerned “And at least I’m trying to get some action. When was the last time you spend the night with someone else?”

jill “Last night.”

alma%20embarrassed “Your cat doesn’t count.”

jill “A year ago. It was messy.”

alma%20embarrassed “See?”

alma%20embarrassed “I mean, I have no idea how you deal with that.”

alma “If I were you, I would’ve pushed fuckboy over there into a closet ages ago.”

gil “F-Fuckboy?”

jill “People have different needs and priorities.”

alma “Yes, but don’t you miss having the warmth of someone else at your side?”

alma%20smiling “Using them as a pillow, mixing your perfume with theirs.”

alma%20smiling “Putting your head on their chest, listening to them breathe as they pet your head.”

alma “Dozing off knowing they’re there, watching you. Protecting you…”

jill “…”

alma%20upset “Jill?”

jill “…”

jill “Anything I can make you to shut up and drink?”

alma “I’ll have you know that my uncle Juan taught me ventriloquism when I was 12.”

alma “Drinking won’t stop me from talking…or making tasteless puns for aunt Rosa.”

alma “Still, get me something weird, would you?”

jill (“Huh, ventriloquism.”)

jill “Weird? A weird drink?”

alma “Yeah, something different, experimental, uncommon…”

jill “Let’s see…”

alma “Yeah, this fits the bill.”

jill “It’s a promotional drink made to commemorate a movie.”

jill “Read, “they leapt at the chance to sell drinks that would be unmarketable otherwise”.”

alma “Oh…”

jill “You know, your orders are weird today.”

alma “They are?”

jill “Yeah, usually the first thing you ask for is a Brandtini. And then something like a Cobalt Velvet or something similar.”

alma “Well, I sometimes feel like I need something different, you know?”

jill “Something tells me part of the reason you left this Damian is because he was too deep into routine.”

alma%20embarrassed “…maybe.”

jill “Hey, speaking of routines…”

jill “As a hacker, what’s your opinion on the whole Alice_Rabbit thing?”

Alma, concerned; “…”

jill “That’s the silence of somebody who just heard something stupid.”

jill “Stupid enough to warrant the speech they’ve prepared just for occasions like this.”

alma%20concerned “As always, very perceptive of you.”

alma%20concerned “You know, decades ago, there was this group of people that hacked simple sites with an “agenda”.”

alma%20embarrassed “Can’t remember what they used to call themselves. I just remember that it was just petty vandalism.”

alma “Anyway, everyone that participated started using the same name.”

alma “They wanted to create this…anonymous anarchists identity.”

alma “The whole Alice_Rabbit thing is the logical conclusion of that.”

alma “It’s what happens when that idea reaches its breaking point and goes mainstream.”

alma “It is no longer a group, but an individual.”

alma “An untouchable entity watching from the shadows, monitoring and judging everything anyone does…”

alma “Observing, tolerating no one but itself…”

alma%20embarrassed “A lot of bullshit for what’s essentially a pet the press made up.”

alma%20embarrassed “The antithesis of your usual bogeyman, if you must.”

jill “So, you don’t think such a person exists?”

alma “Don’t know, don’t care.”

alma “I mean, we HAVE seen the actions of such an entity.”

alma “But it might be anything. An individual, a group, an AI…”

alma “That’s not taking into account all the copycats and pranksters using the name.”

alma “So, Alice_Rabbit is a thing that exists, but it’s also really muddled overall.”

alma%20sideways%20look “There’s something else that worries me, though.”

alma%20sideways%20look “That kind of story always catches the attention of kids and such.”

alma%20sideways%20look “They start trying to hack stuff without knowing the risks or consequences.”

alma%20sideways%20look “Imagine if, suddenly, a group of tweens broke into this bar and started asking for drinks.”

alma%20sideways%20look “That’s how it feels for me, and it’s thanks to that damned Alice_Rabbit thing.”

jill “I see.”

alma “But enough of that, there’s a more pressing matter at hand.”

jill “There is?”

alma%20concerned “Yeah, you’ve been delaying my invitations for hanging out sometime for too long!”

jill “Oh…that.”

alma%20sideways%20look “Do you hate me that much, Jill? Does my presence make you that uncomfortable?”

jill “No, I…”

alma%20smiling “At this rate I might just crash by your apartment! That way you can’t just say no.”

alma%20smiling “Maybe I’ll also crash for the night.”

alma%20smiling “We could have a sleepover, braid our hair, tell stories all night, shower together…”

alma%20smiling “You know you need some human warmth in that place.”

jill “Your tits alone would fill my entire bathroom.”

alma%20embarrassed “Man, you react too nonchalantly. It’s no fun.”

alma%20embarrassed “React a little bit. Let me tease you for a second.”

jill “I refuse.”

alma “In all seriousness, though. Any particular reason you keep turning down my invitations?”

alma “I mean, it’s not a date. I just wanna have a conversation with you outside these four walls.”

jill “I’m…not a morning person.”

jill “I registered for a night shift precisely to avoid waking up early.”

alma “The earliest I’ve asked you out is 10 a.m, you know?”

jill “That’s early morning by my standards.”

jill “I mean, it’s not that I don’t wanna hang out. I just don’t want to wake up early.”

alma%20embarrassed “You. Are. Hopeless.”

alma “Anyway, I’m gonna need another drink here.”

alma “Like, say…a big Brandtini.”

jill “Finally. That’s the Alma I know.”

alma “You know, Brandtini is such a weird name…”

jill “It was originally supposed to replicate the Martini.”

jill “Problem is, the BTC got a hold of brand of vermouth that was named after a certain automobile company.”

jill “So, on a weird whim, they changed the name.”

alma “I see.”

jill “You know, I was wondering…”

alma “Yeah?”

jill “Don’t you worry about what the people you work for might be doing with the information you provide?”

alma “Not really.”

jill “You don’t?”

alma “Do you worry about what happens when people leave this place drunk?”

jill “Not really…most of the time.”

alma “Well, neither do I.”

jill “Why should you? Do you get people drunk?”

alma%20smiling “Some say my beauty is intoxicating, but that’s besides the point.”

alma “I get my payment, do the job, and forget about the whole thing.”

jill “You make your job sound so easy…”

alma “Once you understand what precautions to take, it’s no problem. And I’ve always found my job fun.”

alma%20embarrassed “However, most of my contracts are consultancy-based gigs. It’s not like every day’s a thrill.”

jill “Do you meet with your client or…?”

alma “I don’t. It’s always from behind as many filters as I can manage.”

alma “I remember I once did a job where I had a couple of kids relaying letters.”

jill “For security reasons, right?”

alma%20confused “Actually, because that way I lose a lot less time.”

alma%20confused “I don’t have to deal with clients hitting on me or pestering me after the job’s done…”

alma%20confused “I also don’t have to lose time proving my worth because big boobs equals small brain or some shit like that.”

alma%20sideways%20look “I mean, protecting my identity is one of the reasons. But the few times I’ve shown myself…”

alma%20embarrassedsigh

alma%20embarrassed “They weren’t even risky or dangerous jobs, just run-of-the-mill security checks.”

alma%20embarrassed “I don’t know, maybe I need to show up as a disheveled nerd or something. Give them what they expect to see.”

alma%20embarrassed “…or I just don’t show up and save myself the trouble.”

alma “Why all the questions?”

jill “Just things I’ve been curious about and always forget to ask.”

jill “So many Alice_Rabbit headlines have made me wonder about the hacking business too.”

alma%20smiling “Oh. I’ll remember to ask you things next time then.”

jill “Take care.”

???: “Hello sugar.”

???: “Ow!”

jill “…hello, Mr. Donovan.”

jill “I think it’s more like plastic and carbon fiber.”

donovan “They’re hard as fuck and that’s all my abdomen felt.”

jill “Do you normally…greet people that way?”

donovan%20slight%20smile “I’m a man that can’t contain himself when he sees something he likes, kid.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Oh, but don’t worry. You’re safe. You’re flatter than the field at my summer house.”

jill “A bit of advice. You shouldn’t provoke the ones serving you drinks or food.”

donovan “Don’t be offended, kid. You have your audience. I’m just not part of it.”

donovan “Today I’m making this a quick one. Gotta tend to business in a while.”

donovan “Having said that, I’ll just have the usual.”

jill (“The usual he says…”)

donovan “Sure, this’ll work.”

jill “…”

jill “What brings you today, Mr. Donovan?”

donovan “That girl I interviewed yesterday is coming again in a couple of weeks.”

donovan “So, I was working to clinch an exclusive interview.”

jill “Did you succeed?”

donovan “Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?”

donovan%20slight%20smile “I’m Donovan D. Dawson. I always get what I want.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Sure, I had to blackmail the editors of other outlets, but the end result is what matters.”

jill “I see.”

jill “Wait, blackmail?”

donovan%20slight%20smile “You’d be surprised at the kind of stuff you find out when you get the right people drunk.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Hm? Hey, the signature on that glass over there…”

jill “Ah? Oh yeah…”

donovan%20slight%20smile “That big titted Lilim was here?!”

jill “She came yesterday before the concert, yeah.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Anything juicy come out of her visit?”

jill “No.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Gossip-worthy?”

jill “No.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Tabloid-worthy?”

jill “No.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Come on! There has to be something!”

jill “Well, her love for what she does is so honest and pure that anyone who tries to ruin it should be ashamed.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Oh, don’t give me that shit.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Throw me a bone here. Anything.”

jill “I’ve got nothing.”

donovan “Everyone has a price. How much for you to spill the beans?”

jill “I’m serious here. She said nothing that could be used against her or that you didn’t already know.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Fine.”

:tw: This next section is super gross and misogynistic. :tw:

donovan%20slight%20smile “Hey kid, do you think Lilim have nipples?”

jill “E-Excuse me?”

donovan%20slight%20smile “I mean, I’ve seen a couple of pornos where they have ‘em, but they could be modded, y’know?”

donovan%20slight%20smile “So yesterday, while interviewing the singer Lilim chick, I kept wondering if those tits had nipples.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “I mean, I’d be fine without them, but the curiosity is killing me.”

jill “…”

donovan%20slight%20smile “But I’m even more curious about the engineers that design them.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Can you picture a room full of people discussing whether or not the tits on a Lilim look good?”

donovan%20slight%20smile “A bunch of guys and a lesbo engineer wondering if the latest model’s vagina is good enough.”

donovan%20smiling “Man, god bless those sonsabitches.”

jillahem

jill “Any interesting preview of tomorrow’s news?”

donovan “You expect me to share my information when you wouldn’t share your scoop on the singer?”

jill “How can one share when there’s honestly nothing to share?”

donovan “Uh huh…”

donovan “I’m gonna be a good citizen today and let this one pass.”

donovan “Have you heard of a group called the “Harbingers”?”

jill “Not really, no.”

donovan “They’re some group wanting to overthrow the White Knights.”

donovan “I read their manifesto in the bathroom once. Interesting piece and even better makeshift toilet paper.”

donovan “They talk about how the organization is corrupt, full of mob bosses or something like that.”

jill “I think I’ve heard about that somewhere. What of them?”

donovan “They sent a message to some outlets saying they have proof of their claims.”

donovan “That they’re gonna release it to the public tomorrow.”

jill “Oh…that’d be interesting to see. I think…”

donovan “I know, right?”

donovan “Alright, kid. Give me a Bleeding Jane so I can call it a day.”

jill “Okay.”


donovan “Yeah, yeah…”
donovan “Simple enough for you, I see.”

jill “…”

donovan “So, I’ve heard this is Dana Zane’s bar. Is it true?”

jill “Yeah.”

donovan%20smiling “Never thought I’d hear about the Undefeated of the West again.”

donovan%20smiling “Moreso after that incident with the bears. Where is she?”

jill “She’s out running some err-…bears?”

donovan “Six years ago, a cash-strapped Dana Zane entered an underground ring for money.”

donovan “Faced ten enraged grizzly bears. She beat them all without killing them.”

donovan “I heard she set them free afterwards too.”

jill “And you were there?”

donovan “I was drunk and bored. What can I say?”

jill “Do you know if she lost her arm there?”

donovan “Can’t remember, too drunk. Maybe she had her prosthetic then too.”

donovan “I heard someone there suggest that she lost it after throwing a baseball out of some stadium.”

donovan “Threw it so hard her arm fell off.”

donovan “But that sounds more like an unsubstantiated rumor.”

jill (“More like something she made up.”)

donovan “Well, I gotta go. Next time you see Dana, thank her for winning me my second yacht.”

jill “Please come again.”


#11

jill “Ah, Boss. You’re back.”

jill “What were you doing?”

dana%20peeved “I had a brief meeting with my BTC regional manager.”

jill “Oh…everything alright?”

dana%20peeved “As alright as it can be, considering that we’re closing eventually.”

jill “When will that happen?”

dana%20peeved “I don’t know.”

dana%20peeved “Brian said that we’ll be safe for a few months while the paperwork is filed and everything’s being put in order.”

jill “Oh…”

dana%20regular “I was also talking to him about you.”

jill “About me?”

dana%20regular “Yeah. I was telling him to do whatever it takes to ensure you don’t spend too much time without a job.”

dana%20regular “If possible, to reassign you ASAP after closing.”

jill “…”

dana%20blushing “Hey, if it helps, Brian might be the angriest of us all.”

dana%20blushing “”They want to close the only bar in the whole area that hasn’t given me any headaches!” he said.”

jill “Heh…”

jill “What about Gil?”

dana%20peeved “He’s the one that worries me the most, actually.”

dana%20peeved “He’s kinda working using the credentials of another guy that was working here before.”

jill “Who?”

dana%20peeved “The one who bought a levitation potion and then threw himself off a building.”

jill (“Ah yes, the “levitation potion” story.”)

jill “You use weird euphemisms, Boss.”

dana%20peeved “…anyway.”

dana%20peeved “I find it hard to believe that Gil will find a job after all this.”

jill “…just who is Gil?”

dana%20regular “I have an idea of who he is…but I’m still putting pieces together.”

dana%20regular “Anyway, back to work. Imminent closure is no excuse to slack off.”

gil “…”

gil “You guys do know I can hear you, right?”

???: “This place looks familiar…”

jill “It is indeed. Welcome to Valhalla.”

stella%20annoyed “…oh god, what is Sei planning now?”

jill “Excuse me?”

stella “…”

stella “I want a drink whose name was changed after many women protested. Can you get me that?”

jill “Sure.”

stella “Very nice. Thanks a lot.”

jill “So, you know Sei, miss…?”

stella “I’m Stella Hoshii. My pleasure.”

stella “Yeah. I know her. She’s been here before, yes?”

jill “Yup. In fact, I’m glad you know her because she left this here last time.”

stella%20annoyed “…oh, god. So she left her helmet behind, again.”

jill “Not the first time, huh?”

stella “Her helmets have been picked up by all sorts of people in the last three months.”

stella “Valets, nurses, morticians, fire jugglers…”

stella “She’s been lucky enough to always leave it with people who return it, at least.”

jill “Whoa, quite a few people.”

stella “Sei’s as much of a sociable girl as she is a total klutz.”

stella “At least when she’s not being serious. She’s very competent when she puts her mind to it.”

jill “I see.”

jill “So did she recommend you this place or…?”

stella “We’re meeting here today.”

stella “I can see why she chose this place. It’s the kind of place she likes.”

stella “…”

stella “Hm…”

stella “Say, is that ✩Kira✩ Miki’s autograph on that glass?”

jill (“Seems like the glass is a conversation starter. Nice.”)

jill “Yeah, it is.”

stella “How did you get it?”

jill “She stopped here yesterday just before the concert.”

stella%20shocked “REALLY?!”

stella%20blushing “…I mean…”

stella “She did?”

jill “Yeah. Nice girl.”

stella “Can I see it?”

jill “Sure.”

stella “Yup, this star-like signature is hers.”

stella “So your name’s Jill then?”

jill “Yes.”

stella%20smiling “Ain’t this nice?”

stella “Here you go.”

jill “Do you like her, Miss Stella?”

stella “Just call me Stella.”

stella%20smiling “I do.”

stella%20smiling “Whenever you hear her songs, you’re filled with so much energy and happiness.”

stella “Too bad I couldn’t purchase tickets for this one.”

stella “I mean, they were sold out in minutes!”

stella “Luckily I could secure a couple for the next time she comes around.”

stella “Oh, excuse me for a second.”

stella “Car crash?! Oh, you’re helping.”

stella “Will it take long? Alright.”

stella “Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry.”

jill “I take it that was Sei.”

jill “Will you wait for her?”

stella “I will.”

stella “In the meantime, I feel like having another drink.”

stella “One that was prepared in memory of its creator’s dearest friend.”

jill “Alright.”

Remember that conversation we had with Kim about the Piano Man? This is where it pays off, somewhat.

stella “Yes, exactly.”

stella “Thank you.”

jill “May I ask you something that might be personal?”

stella “It isn’t about my eye, is it?”

jill “No, it’s not…or at least I don’t think so.”

jill “I don’t get to serve many Cat Boomers, so it’s something I’ve been curious about.”

jill “Did you go through the procedure because of a disease or because of the fad?”

stella “Before I was born, I was diagnosed with Nanomachine Rejection.”

stella “So, it had to be done. Otherwise, I would’ve died shortly after birth.”

stella “I’m a bit on the weak side because of it, though.”

jill “I’m sorry if I overstepped.”

stella “I don’t mind.”

stella%20smiling “It’s always nice to dispel the idea that my parents were just into the fad.”

stella “You seem to know your drinks, Jill.”

jill “Well, I guess I’ve read a bit more than the recipe book.”

stella “Do you like alcohol?”

jill “Yeah, but not in the usual way. I don’t drink that much outside of canned Beer.”

jill “But their colors, their stories, the way you need to keep them stored, their designs…”

jill “It sounds a bit silly when I say it out loud.”

stella “Not at all.”

stella “Do you collect them or anything like that?”

jill “Actually, yeah. I started with my grandpa’s collection and have been slowly growing it.”

jill “It’s been hard because of my debts, but I manage, little by little.”

jill “Do you like alcohol, Stella?”

stella “I’m here, right?”

stella “But I’m normally more of a social drinker.”

stella “Unless it’s with somebody, I don’t tend to drink much.”

jill “I see.”

???: “Sorry I’m late!”

jill “Welcome.”

sei%20frowning “Yeah, sorry! Sorry.”

sei%20frowning “I got caught in rush hour traffic too and figured walking might be faster.”

sei%20frowning “Luckily, there was a building with emergency stairs nearby and I climbed down.”

jill ””Climbed down”?”

sei “Took an air cab.”

jill “Oh.”

stella “I would suggest using ground transportation, but I’m happy to see you put safety first.”

sei%20smiling “Safety? No, no…flying cars are just way cooler.”

stella “I still don’t understand how they don’t give you motion sickness.”

sei%20smiling “If I find out how I avoid it, you’ll be the first to know.”

sei%20smiling “Anyway, I’ll have whatever she orders next.”

stella “I’d like a drink that was…”

sei%20frowning “You’re at it again? You and your cryptic orders always leaving us with weird stuff.”

stella%20annoyed “Hey, I expect only the best from whoever serves me.”

stella%20annoyed “They need to be able to answer these kind of orders.”

sei “Still, I’m sure you’re wearing out poor Jill here with that kind of stuff.”

stella “She’s done quite well so far, actually.”

sei “Really?”

jill “Thank you.”

sei “Whatever. Please order something normal, would you?”

stella “That’ll be two Fringe Weavers, then.”

sei%20frowning “You’ll have two drinks at once?”

stella “No, we’re sharing.”

sei%20frowning “What? Like half a glass for each? Isn’t it better if it’s one for each?”

stella “Don’t worry, you’ll see.”

sei%20frowning “So?”

stella “This one’s for you and this one’s for me. You said you wanted whatever I asked for, right?”

sei “Oooooh, that way. You could’ve said so earlier.”

stella “Mm hmm.”

jill “Oh yeah, here.”

sei%20smiling “Hey! So this is where I left my helmet. Thanks!”

stella “You really need to be more careful with your things.”

sei “Yeah, but I have spares!”

stella “Those spares should be saved for when the one you’re using breaks or malfunctions, not when you lose it.”

stella “Those helmets cost money, you know?”

sei “Yeah. Sorry…”

jill (“Should I say that Boss got her head stuck because of a jammed button?”)

stella “Speaking of money, you still going to that meeting at the bank tomorrow?”

sei “Yup. You worried?”

jill (“I’ll refrain for now.”)

stella%20annoyed “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.”

sei “Don’t be! It’ll be fine. Rumors are just rumors.”

jill “Rumors?”

sei “They say something might happen at the bank tomorrow.”

sei “But with all the tension in the air lately, it’s hard to know if it’s true.”

sei “As if the fear mongering wasn’t enough, the people have also started spreading baseless rumors.”

sei%20frowning “Just yesterday I had to stop a group of rampaging youngsters that heard the city would be leveled by bombs.”

sei%20frowningsigh Everyone’s on edge.”

stella%20annoyed “…yeah.”

sei “I know you’re worried, but I have to go there. It’s orders from the higher ups.”

sei “Tell me something. If somebody came after me, do you think they’d stand a chance?”

stella%20annoyed “You’re quite strong, but…”

sei “I’ll take something to protect myself, be prepared for anything.”

sei “Would that make you feel safer?”

stella “Maybe…”

sei%20smiling “I’ll tell you what, after I come back we’ll get some ice cream. That way you can vent all your frustrations.”

stella “…alright.”

stella “Seems my vehicle is here to pick me up. You coming, Sei?”

sei “Nah, I’ll stay here a bit longer.”

sei “Bye.”

jill “That means she cares about you.”

sei%20smiling “I’ve never doubted.”

sei “Say…why does my helmet smell like bacon?”

jill “Eh…bacon?”

sei “Not that I mind. I’m just curious.”

jill “Well, you know how some things absorb the smell of what’s nearby? It must’ve grabbed it from one of the ingredients.”

sei “I see.”

jill “Do you believe all that stuff about tensions growing and that anarchist group trying to disband the White Knights?”

sei%20frowning “To tell you the truth, I am a bit worried.”

sei%20frowning “Even in my division, there’s some shady business going on. But I don’t want to investigate too deeply.”

jill “What kind of business?”

sei%20frowning “From what I understand…things like working with human traffickers or drug dealers, letting them act as they wish.”

sei%20frowning “Some even say the ones that do get apprehended are the ones that have failed them in some way.”

sei%20frowning “Stella always says “The White Knights are just glorified mall security.””

sei “She says that if it’s been proven beyond a doubt that some shady business is going on…”

sei “Zaibatsu Corp’s main branch would separate themselves from the whole White Knight division.”

sei “Something about the associates’ fear of bad PR resulting in them moving to the BTC.”

jill “Sounds plausible.”

sei “Yeah. It kinda worries me, though, because I really like my job.”

sei “And I guess a similar fear exists among the upper ranks. Lately they seem…restless.”

jill “Too much politics, huh?”

sei “It hurts my brain. I just want to rescue people and help them.”

sei%20frowning “I just wanna do my job without worries about politics of any kind.”

jill “What are you doing at the bank tomorrow?”

sei “My colonel needed to relay some information to the manager, and I was picked because he trusted me.”

sei%20frowning “Well, he said “You’re such a simpleton that you’d never give the wrong message”, but it’s his intention that counts.”

jill “O-Oh…”

???: “FINALLY! THE DOROTHY HAS COME BACK TO VALHALLA!”

:tw: Dorothy stuff. :tw:

dorothy%20smiling “Oh, come on! You know the audience would’ve gone wild with that one.”

dorothy%20flirty “And besides, you make it sound like you have a full house.”

jillahem

jill “It’s uncommon to see you here two days in a row.”

dorothy “I wanted to grab something before starting my shift.”

dorothy “Grab something before they start grabbing me, you could say.”

sei%20smiling “Hey, you having a drink? Can I buy you one?”

dorothy%20smiling “Why yes! Thank you.”

dorothy%20smiling “Honey, you should follow her example and offer me drinks more often.”

jill “We’ll see.”

jill “What are you having?”

sei “I’ll have what she’s having.”

dorothy%20smiling “Then I’ve got the perfect thing. Let’s have a Blue Fairy.”

sei%20smiling “One for both?”

dorothy “One for each!”

jill “Alright.”

sei%20smiling “Hey, this is pretty good.”

dorothy “See?”

dorothy “And it’s blue like your hair.”

sei%20smiling “It is!”

dorothy “So, what’s your name, sweetie?”

sei “Call me Sei.”

dorothy “Alright Sei, I’m Dorothy.”

dorothy “Say Sei…”

sei%20smiling “Yes yes?”

dorothy%20smiling “Sei say.”

sei%20smiling “Yes yes?”

dorothy%20smiling “Say say.”

dorothy%20smiling “Sei Sei.”

jill “…”

dorothy “Sei…why did you just buy me a drink?”

sei%20smiling “I just thought you were cute as a button so I wanted to invite you to join me.”

dorothy “…”

dorothy “Wow, you have to be the first person to offer me a drink without having an ulterior motive.”

dorothy “And that includes Fuckboy over there.”

gil “…”

jill “What do you mean?”

dorothy “Trust me, when you work in my kind of field, you learn to read cues from everything.”

dorothy “And this girl is simple to a fault.”

jill “…”

sei%20smiling “How so?”

dorothy “You’re the “what you see is what you get” type.”

dorothy “That look on your face is of one that simply sees no point in lying.”

dorothy “Coupled with the fact that you’re here in what looks like your work attire tells me…”

dorothy “That you’re so married to your job that sex is too far down your priority list to notice its existence.”

dorothy “So, if you invited me to a drink because you found me cute and that’s the extent of it, I believe you.”

sei%20smiling “Thank you!”

jill “You say she’s the first one, but what about Deal giving you a ticket the other day?”

dorothy “Who? Oh yeah! The Lilim with the dogs.”

dorothy%20pout “No, he doesn’t count. He looked like a humanoid mat.”

jill “Ouch…”

sei “You seem very perceptive, Dorothy. But I’m not too far behind!”

dorothy “How so?”

sei “I can tell your body is heavily modded with things you shouldn’t even have.”

dorothy%20nervous: “…”

sei “Your tongue is a BEB069 with DNA scanning capabilities.”

sei “Your skin is coated with an anti-radiation finish.”

sei “Your joints are of the premium, extra-flexible variety.”

sei “And the most important thing…your hands.”

dorothy%20nervous: “W-What about them?”

sei “I don’t know how modded your body is under your clothes. The tongue, joints and skin are merely interesting.”

sei “But your hands are the MIRD113 of Realta Industries…”

sei “A model designed to shoot Class-5 bullets from its fingertips.”

dorothy%20verge%20of%20tears “S-So?”

sei “Clause G of article 17 in the Augmentations and Modifications Law on the topic of ballistic augmentations.”

sei “”Any humanoid or sapient creature under civilian designation that has upgraded any of its person…””

sei “”…to hold firearms of Class-3 grade or higher will either be commissioned for disarmament or sent to danger zones.””

dorothy%20verge%20of%20tears “…w-what are you gonna do?”

sei%20smiling “Nothing.”

dorothy%20upset “Eh?”

sei “I’m not in law enforcement. I just do rescue. And even if I was, I’m not on duty right now.”

dorothy%20upset “O-Oh…”

sei “I want to know, though. Why go through with that upgrade?”

dorothy “A girl’s gotta take care of herself, you know?”

dorothy “I wanna be able to deal with things if they get ugly. And this is the most discreet mod I had.”

dorothy%20upset “…or at least I thought so.”

sei “Oh! Yeah, yeah.”

sei “Okay then. Can I give you some advice?”

dorothy%20upset “I guess…?”

sei “The reason I could tell it’s not your default hand model is your fingertips.”

sei “The tips are a little bigger to make the cannons fit.”

sei “You could get a small mod that changes them into disposable tips.”

sei “…assuming they’re being used for self-defense and not regular use, of course.”

dorothy “I-I see.”

sei “Well, I’ve gotta go. Ah yes, another thing.”

sei%20smiling “If you aim for the arms or legs, once is self defense. Anything more is assault.”

dorothy%20upset “Y-Yeah…”

dorothy%20upset “Bye bye.”

jill “Please come again.”

dorothy%20crying “They would put my mind on a vacuum cleaner for three years!”

dorothy “Two if I behave well.”

jill “That’s what happens when you underestimate people.”

jill “Although I’m tempted to ask…”

dorothy “About what?”

jill “DNA-reading tongue?”

dorothy%20smiling “Very prehensile, intuitive. Also, it vibrates!”

jill “Extra-flexible joints?”

dorothy “Do you really need to ask?”

jill “Anti-radiation coating?”

dorothy%20pout “Hey! My skin’s my first tool of the trade. I need to take care of it as much as possible.”

dorothy “And it makes me feel so soft no matter how much it’s been battered.”

jill “Alright then…”

jill “So, you fancy yourself a diviner? Reading people and all.”

dorothy “Not really. I’m just quite good at reading people.”

dorothy%20smiling “I guess it’s a byproduct of dealing with so many people on a daily basis.”

jill (“It’s a bit surreal to hear that from a Lilim.”)

jill “What can you say about me, then?”

dorothy “Let’s see…hm…”

dorothy “You’re very, very, VERY sexually frustrated.”

dorothy “It’s not the act itself, but rather that your partners can’t seem to satisfy you on a deeper level.”

dorothy%20upset “There’s an even deeper frustration. Something happened that’s blocking you.”

dorothy%20upset “Maybe there’s someone you know who won’t return your feelings. Maybe you were hurt in the past.”

dorothy%20upset “Thus, your demeanor is that of someone who feels like life is playing tricks on her.”

dorothy%20upset “Like a dog whose owner never really throws the ball.”

jill “…”

jill “…”

dorothy%20flirty “Oh boy, did I actually hit the nail on the head? I was making this stuff up on the fly!”

dorothy%20flirty “All of that was just rubbish I say because it’s right 80% of the time.”

dorothy%20flirty “Generic bullshit if you will. You’d be surprised at the amount of sexual frustration people hold.”

dorothy “I can’t read you, honey. You’re too good at putting on a professional face.”

dorothy%20smiling “But this definitely gives me more insight into you. Lucky lucky~

jill “Aren’t you late or something?”

dorothy%20flirty “I am. But if you’d let me satisfy your frustrations, I could stall for some time.”

jill “Go.”

gil “Artificial intelligence has come rather far, eh? One wonders how artificial it remains.”

jill “Shut up, Fuckboy.”

jill “Yeah.”

jill “Hey, Boss. This might seem random, but…”

jill “Do you remember the first time I came to the bar?”

dana%20regular “When you came to submit your contract? Yeah, why?”

jill “Well, for some reason I’ve been hung up on it since this morning, and I just realized why.”

jill “The visage that welcomed me back then was…Gil trying to pull your hand out of a jar.”

dana%20regular “Oh yeah! THAT.”

dana%20regular “I can’t remember what exactly, but something fell inside and I tried to retrieve it.”

dana%20regular “I just kinda put my hand in and it got stuck. It was a friend’s jar too so I couldn’t just break it.”

dana%20regular “Hey Gil, how did you get my hand out of that jar?”

dana%20regular “Oh yeah, clever solution.”

jill “Yeah, and that brings me to the random thought.”

jill “That incident, the helmet yesterday, the many times your foot got stuck on something for stomping it…”

jill “Boss…why do you get stuck in so many different things?”

gil%20surprised “Huh…”

gil “Now that you mention it, I remember this one time she tried to eat a big sandwich and her jaw got stuck.”

gil “Then there was the incident with the TV…”

dana%20peeved “I’ll admit my fault with the others, but the TV incident was NOT my fault.”

dana%20peeved “The assembly instructions for that stand should have labeled their Z and S better.”

dana%20peeved “You saw what happened when I switched the S2 piece with the 5Z one.”

gil “Still…Jill’s onto something here.”

dana%20peevedahem Yes, she is.”

gil%20exasperated “I want to believe.”


#12

It’s officially happening! What do you think will happen?

Probably nothing…

Last time it was the leaks.

I think Alice jumped the shark with that one because it seems hard to top, maybe more leaks?

Sounds unlikely, I don’t think the government would let that happen twice.

But this is Alice we’re talking about! there’s nothing they can’t do.

What if that spooky message wasn’t really Alice but just an epic prank?

who would hack a site like this just for a prank? :^)

N-Not me ;~)

You’re right though, it might be someone else.

We’ll have to wait and see. What was the date again?

December 17

Right, if only we knew more about the target now.

Sick Meme Sis

These Alice threads piss me off, fucking e-celebs.

hmm, what if it has something to do with the terrorism rumours?

This thread is closed

Today, we’ll take a look at one of the most popular acts of our times! How did she get started? What’s her favorite movie? What about her romantic life

Don’t miss this exclusive interview! Only on The Augmented Eye!

CONTENT BLOCKED IN YOUR REGION

Everyone loves Kira Miki, and Alice_Rabbit is no exception.

You might be wondering what’s my proof for this not-so-wacky theory, and well, keep reading if you want to know!

Attack patterns

This is an easy one, you just-I’m getting tired of your shit, Miss Smithee.

Crime is up 5% this month, officially making the road to Megachristmas a dangerous one.

White Knights, aware of the situation, have promised to maintain security in all sectors, even though recent budget cuts have been decreasing the morale of their personnel.

An uphill battle

Poverty and the lack of opportunities are no longer the main causes of crime.

Criminals come from all walks of life. They will murder and distribute drugs for no other reason than the fact it gives them power. It’s no longer about feeding their families. It’s about domination. There are entire sectors controlled by these dangerous gangs and there’s no solution in sight. This Megachristmas will be a very dark one.

gil%20surprised “…!”

gil “Seems you made it just in time.”

jill “I think that’s just a car backfiring.”

gil “Really? It sounded more like a gunshot to me.”

jill “Have you ever heard gunshots?”

gil “Haven’t we all at some point?”

jill “Yeah, well…”

jill “See? Sounds more like a car’s exhaust.”

gil “I don’t know… It’s too dry.”

jill “Yeah, but gunshots give more echo.”

jill “Ah, boss.”

gil “Firecrackers?”

dana%20regular “Yup. A couple of years ago there was an incident where some dude killed a cop.”

dana%20regular “He managed to slip away because his pistol was mixed up with the usual Mega Christmas firecrackers.”

gil “Nah, it sounded too hollow for firecrackers.”

dana%20regular “Well, whatever. This is not a morning talk show.”

dana%20regular “I’m not paying you to chit-chat about meaningless things.”

dana%20peeved “…at least not amongst yourselves.”

jill “Right, we shouldn’t lose time over a CAR’S EXHAUST.”

gil%20angry “Hey!”

jill “Time to mix drinks and change lives.”

jill “Welcome to Valhalla.”

jill “What kind of information?”

art “What can you tell me about a girl nicknamed “Crimson Rose”?”

jill “Sounds like a tacky online handle.”

jill “Although “tacky online handle” is a bit redundant.”

art “Do you know anything about her?”

jill “Nope, sorry.”

art “I have $80 here that might refresh your memory.”

jill “…”

jill “Now that you mention it, I remember something…”

art “Really?!”

jill “Yeah. Now I’m totally sure that I have no idea whatsoever who you’re talking about.”

art “Nothing at all?”

jill “Nothing.”

art%20annoyed “Man, you’re a sucky bartender. Not having any info I need.”

jillsigh Well. First of all, why assume I just happen to have the info you conveniently need?”

jill “Does that girl frequent this place? Is there any proof that I might have the info you so desperately need?”

art “Well, I…”

jill “And second, you’re not going to get anywhere by offering me physical money.”

jill “In fact, what are you doing with physical money? Do you wanna get mugged so badly?”

art “Yeah, well…”

jill “MOREOVER, even if I did know something, do you really think $80 is enough?”

jill “You can do almost NOTHING with $80. It’s not enough to have a decent lunch.”

art “Why are you scolding me?”

jill “Why did you call me a sucky bartender for not conveniently having the info you need?”

art “I…”

art “Wait…of course! You want all deals to be clean, so you need me to spend money on the bar.”

jill “…”

art “That’s how it works, right? I spend money. You give me the info.”

jill “…maybe, maybe not.”

art “Okay then, get me a drink, but keep it under $80.”

jill “…”

art “Okay then. Do you know anything about the girl?”

jill “No.”

art “But you said…”

jill “”Maybe, maybe not”. Turns out that it’s maybe not.”

jill “You were the one deluding yourself into thinking I might know something.”

jill “And like I said: $80 is nothing.”

art “So – I need to spend more?”

jill “I’ll give you some intel.”

jill “Spend all the money you want, but I know nothing and no amount will change that.”

art “Can I at least get my money back?”

jill “Why? The order is right, isn’t it?”

art%20annoyedsigh I guess.”

jill “So, why are you looking for that girl, mister…?”

art “Von Delay, Art Von Delay.”

art “I’m a private detective. It’s what I do.”

jill “So, I’ll assume you’re either looking for a missing girl or working for a creepy online stalker.”

art “You’re assuming the girl I’m looking for is innocent, or lost.”

jill “She’s not?”

art “She’s half of the so-called “Reapers” of the city.”

art “Two guns-for-hire that work for whoever’s resourceful enough to find them and wealthy enough to pay them.”

art “Crimson Rose and Cobalt Lily, they call themselves.”

jill (“They still sound more like teenagers’ internet nicknames.”)

jill “So, who wanted you to track her?”

art “I don’t know. I got the letter with the instructions and a paycheck.”

jill “What if it’s a prank?”

art%20annoyed “I have the money, so what do I care if it is?”

art%20annoyed “Besides, considering the amount I was able to cash in with that check, it’d be a pretty wasteful prank.”

jill “I see.”

art “Still, any information or rumors you could give me?”

art “They don’t have to be related to the girl.”

jill “Why do you need them?”

art “It’s always good to keep up with local goings-ons.”

jill “Well…let’s see…”

jill “Hm…”

jill “Sorry. Can’t think about anything right now. Most of the conversations you hear in here aren’t rumor-worthy.”

jill “Humor-worthy, maybe. But not much about current events. At least, not beyond what you see on the news.”

art%20annoyed “Dammit! What kind of bar is this if you can’t gather the word on the street?”

jill (“What kind of film noir world do you think you live in?”)

jill “Gil might know something if you’re so fixated on finding some kind of information.”

gil “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

art “Do you know something that might help me, Gil?”

gil “I don’t. I certainly don’t and I’m offended by the suggestion that I do.”

art “He knows something.”

jill “On second thought, maybe it’s better if you don’t get involved with him.”

art%20annoyed “Well, this has been a major waste of time.”

art%20annoyed “And here I thought all the noise BTC bars have made lately would be useful for something.”

jill “Noise? What noise?”

art “You don’t know?”

jill “I’m asking for a reason.”

art “You’ll find out soon enough. Don’t worry.”

jill “…”

art “In any case, I guess I’ll have another drink and leave.”

jill “What can I get you?”

art “I’ll have a Grizzly Temple.”

jill “Simple enough.”

art “Okay then. This is going to be deducted from the $80 from earlier, right?”

jill “No.”

art “Fine…”

art “Come on! There has to be something.”

art “This week has been slow as hell.”

art “The only good thing I’ve heard is about this girl who threw herself off the roof of a nearby mall.”

art “And the whole thing about a woman catching her mid-air makes me think it’s totally made up.”

jill “Aside from rumors that “The Harbingers” are looking to cause trouble at a bank today…no, not really.”

art%20annoyed “Dammit!”

art “Wait…who told you that?”

jill “It appeared on the news, didn’t it?”

art “Yeah, but the name “The Harbingers” wasn’t used.”

art “No Glitch City outlet has reported that themselves.”

art “There are rumors that someone or something is keeping them silent.”

art “And even the international outlets aren’t using the name “Harbingers”.”

art “They’re avoiding acknowledging the organization yet, for some reason.”

art “So you’re either one of them or somebody in the know told you about it.”

jill (“Wow, he can be surprisingly sharp.”)

jill “Yeah. Donovan D. Dawson was in here for the last three days, actually.”

art “Really?!”

jill (“I wonder if he’ll notice the glass that idol signed…”)

art “I mean, sure. I can’t think of anything that would be useful involving him right now, but…”

jill (“Guess not…”)

art “Did he talk about anything interesting?”

jill “Interviewing the Idol that had a show a couple of days ago, dealing with messy interns…”

jill “Par for the course, I guess.”

art “I see, I see…that’s…”

gil “Gunshot!”

jill “It’s a backfire.”

dana%20regular “FIRECRACKERS!”

jill “Hey, what do you think that sound just now was?”

art “Sounded like something very heavy being dropped.”

gil “Something heavy? Come on! That’s not even close!”

jill “It was definitely more like an explosion of some kind.”

art “No, you could clearly hear the clashing of metal.”

art “Something that was both made out of metal and very heavy fell down. That’s what made the sound.”

jill “Whatever it is, it’s not normal for it to be repeating so often.”

jill “I wonder if something’s happening.”

art “I heard there were some gang spats going on. Maybe they took the conflict here.”

gil “Which means…gunshots!”

jill “If that’s the case, I just hope they don’t come too near us.”

art “Well, I’ve got to go. Seems coming here wasn’t a waste of time after all.”

jill “Really?”

art “Really. I just have different needs. But there will come a time when this place might help me.”

jill “Please, come again.”

jill “Gangs, then?”

gil “Unlikely. This is Unicorn territory.”

gil “They’ve always been a neutral and important third party in other gangs’ deals.”

jill “The who what now?”

gil “…”

jillsigh I’ll just pretend I heard nothing.”

gil “Thank you.”

jill “He left me thinking about the whole “noise from BTC bars” thing.”

jill “What’s up with that?”

gil “I think I heard something about money laundering through bars.”

gil “Don’t take my word for it though.”

jill “I see…”

jill “I guess I’ll find out…soon enough.”

jill “Welco-…”

:tw: Fair warning, Streaming-chan talks about a lot of sex stuff and a lot of it is gross. Really gross. :tw:

streaming “Bathroom time and naughty moments only available to Premium users.”

streaming “It’s only $99.99 a month. Go Premium noooooow!”

jill “Um…”

streaming%20excited “It’s Friday night, and you all know what that means! It’s time for Streaming-chan’s Escapades!”

streaming “Today’s Escapade is brought to you by Shining Fingered dot moe.”

streaming “Leaders of VR adult entertainment since 2069.”

streaming “Buy a year of Premium membership and you’ll get a code!”

streaming%20excited “Exchange the code for a free trial of a VR experience modeled after yours truly!”

jill “Excuse-…”

streaming%20excited “Today I picked the shoddiest, nastiest, smelliest, ugliest bar I could find downtown.”

streaming%20annoyed “And sadly, it actually looks half-decent inside. So much for going to a craphole bar that smells like dog urine.”

gil “Heheh…”

jill “Excuse me…”

streaming “But no matter. Tonight, I’ll give you an Escapade you’ll never forget.”

streaming%20excited “Hey, you! Where’s the bartender?”

jill “You’re talking to her.”

streaming%20excited “Very funny. Where is he, really?”

jill “Right in front of you.”

streaming%20excited “…”

streaming “Hey, you! The pretty boy over there. Where’s the bartender?”

gil “You’re looking at ‘em.”

streaming “N-No way!”

streaming%20annoyed “No hot, shirtless guy playing with fire and serving drinks while flirting with you?”

streaming%20annoyed “No sexy, scantily-clad girl jiggling around the place?”

streaming%20annoyed “You’re telling me YOU TWO, dressed like fucking waiters, are the bartenders here?!”

jill “Yup.”

gil “Seems that way…”

streaming%20annoyed “…”

jill “Is that a problem?”

streaming%20annoyed “Of course it’s a problem. Friday nights are peak viewing hours!”

streaming%20annoyed “I need something sexy or enticing to keep them interested.”

streaming “Oh well, there’s an easy solution to that.”

jill “There is?”

streaming “Yeah. Just take your top off.”

jill “…”

streaming “You might need to take off your bra too, depending on how the traffic goes.”

streaming “Wait, you’re quite flat. Do you even use a bra?”

As we all know, women love talking about boobs constantly.

jill “…”

streaming “Is that piercing glare a “no”?”

streaming%20annoyed “Come on! One of us is gonna have to take off their top and it ain’t gonna be me. I already did that once today.”

streaming%20annoyed “Agh! And it’s too late to go somewhere else. By the time I find an even nastier bar, they’ll be closed.”

streaming%20annoyed “What’s your policy on wearing pants?”

jill “Somebody tried to have me fired for wearing a skirt, so we deal with that on a case by case basis.”

streaming%20annoyed “That’s not a concrete answer. I need binary yes/no answers. My viewers have the attention span of fruit flies.”

streaming%20annoyed “If they wanted to use their brains, do you think they’d watch something like this?”

streaming%20annoyed “I need to keep them entertained, and the fact that you still have your shirt on isn’t helping.”

streaming%20excited “Wait, I know! Give me a drink! A big one! The nastiest one you can think of!”

jill “…”

streaming “Um…hello? Service here, please.”

jill “…”

jill (“Wow, it’s like my brain shut down.”)

jill “Sure…”

streaming%20excited “Alright then! Cheers!”

jill “I don’t think you should chug it down so…”

streaming%20excited “…”

jill “…quickly.”

streaming “It’s like it hit me, but I didn’t feel it until a few seconds later.”

streaming “Is this what being kicked in the balls feels like?”

gil “Yup.”

streaming “Okay. I’ve decided. I’ll just get really wasted.”

streaming “That’s gotta be fun enough, right?”

jill “If you say so…”

streaming “Okay! In the meantime, what can you tell me about this bar?”

jill “What do you mean?”

streaming “Weird stories! Fun stuff! Interesting facts!”

streaming “You’re being seen by an average of 6,000 people. Make their time worth it!”

jill “Let’s see then…”

jill “Last weekend we held a party for the Seifar Toy Company.”

streaming “And?”

jill “It’s a company run completely by dogs.”

streaming “Really?”

jill “This place was completely overrun by Corgis.”

streaming “Wait wait wait…Corgis?!”

streaming%20excited “Did you really serve drinks to Corgis?!”

jill “Tuxedo-clad talking Corgis, yeah.”

streaming%20excited “Wow! Awesome!”

streaming%20annoyed “Wait, you’re not shitting me, right?”

jill “…I wish I was shitting you, trust me.”

streaming%20excited “What else? What else?”

jill “Um…let’s see…”

jill “Donovan D. Dawson from The Augmented Eye was here for three nights in a row.”

streaming%20excited “That perfumed chauvinistic bastard?”

jill (“Huh, there’s that word again.”)

streaming “Just the other day someone from The Augmented Eye interviewed me, actually.”

jill “What did they ask?”

streaming “Oh, the usual bullshit. Who I was, what I did, future plans, inspirations…”

streaming “The one that interviewed me was this small, meek girl with glasses.”

streaming “She seemed a bit bitter though. I wonder why.”

streaming “But enough about tha-…wait. Can I see that glass over there?”

jill “Hm? Sure.”

streaming “This signature… Is this ✩Kira✩ Miki’s autograph?!”

jill “Yeah, she came here before her last concert.”

streaming%20excited “Get out! Really?!”

streaming%20excited “Is this some kind of secret hidden bar of the stars or something?”

jill “Not really. We’re just in the right place at the right time.”

streaming%20excited “What kind of person is she when she’s not on stage?”

streaming%20excited “I’ve tried to get a meeting with her, and she actually seemed willing but she’s always busy.”

jill “A very nice girl, actually.”

jill “She seems to be completely invested in her work. She loves what she does and it shows.”

jill “You’d think she’d be some sort of diva, but as far as I’m concerned, she’s one of the nicest people I’ve met.”

streaming%20excited “I KNEW IT! I knew she was nice.”

streaming%20excited “Her passion shows in her concerts, you know? She’s so…spontaneous. Her performances are never the same.”

streaming%20excited “Every time she sings Shine Spark, I feel like my soul is warming up like a high-performance computer.”

streaming%20excited “SHIIIIIIIIIINE SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!!”

streaming “I find myself singing it in the shower all the time.”

streaming “And those who play Premium can hear me sing everyday! At $99.99 a month, go Premium now!”

streaming “That aside, I was about to call bullshit on what you said.”

streaming “But I guess you do have some sort of proof for everything.”

streaming “Can I keep this glass?”

jill “No.”

streaming “Pretty please?”

jill “No.”

streaming%20annoyed “Party pooper.”

streaming “At least this bar might be more interesting than I initially thought.”

streaming “The one thing that’d make it perfect is if pretty boy over there had a past with the KGB.”

gil “WHO TOL-…!”

Just how old IS Gillian?

gil “Y-Yeah…that’d be crazy, huh?”

jill “…”

jill “Are you gonna order anything else?”

streaming “What? Oh. Yeah, yeah. The whole getting wasted thing.”

streaming “I heard of a drink called a Bad Touch.”

streaming “Get me a big one of those, please. A Big Bad Touch.”

jillpffft C-coming right up.”

streaming%20annoyed “I was expecting something…dirtier.”

jill “We have olive brine - I can pour in a bit, if that’s what you want.”

streaming%20annoyed “No, not that.”

streaming%20annoyed “With such a dirty name, it feels like the drink ought to come in a phallic glass or be this thick white liquid.”

streaming%20annoyed “That would’ve rocketed the watchers at least threefold.”

streaming%20annoyed “Don’t you have anything like that?”

jill “Nope.”

streaming%20annoyedsigh I’ll have to make do with the condensed milk when I get home.”

Ughhhhh.

streaming “Friendly reminder that today’s Escapade is brought to you by Shining Fingered dot moe!”

streaming “Leaders of VR adult entertainment since 2069!”

streaming “Buy a year of Premium membership for a neat code.”

streaming%20excited “Said code will net you a free trial of a VR experience with a model based on moi!”

jill “What’s the deal with that VR experience?”

streaming “Well, a fan made an NND model of me.”

streaming “When Shining Fingered asked me about a model for our partnership I just contacted him.”

streaming “He got money for polishing the model a lot more, I got a partnership. We all won!”

streaming “I even got him a year of free Premium membership and a VR set!”

jill “That’s nice.”

jill “…wait. What’s NND?”

streaming “Don’t tell me you haven’t heard of Niku Niku Dance.”

jill “I asked for a reason.”

streaming “It’s…well it’s music videos with 3D models.”

streaming “Yeah, that sounds like a good enough explanation.”

jill “I see.”

streaming “To be honest though, the model is a bit…meatier than me.”

streaming “Not that I mind it though, considering the use it gets.”

jillahem

streaming “You know, I was expecting you to be more…scared when I said that you’re being watched by a lot of people.”

jill “It’s hard to be scared when you can’t see these people.”

streaming “But they’re still there, you know?”

streaming “Sure, they’re behind screens and sometimes in the opposite corner of the world…”

streaming “But every single one of my viewers is a real person with a real life.”

And they’re all real terrible people.

streaming “Not being here doesn’t make them any less real.”

jill “I understand, but it’s just not the same. They’re not here, visibly paying attention to me.”

jill “I don’t get paranoid because of my phone contacts.”

streaming “That’s true, I guess.”

streaming “So…tell me. What made a lady like you become a bartender?”

jill “It’s not exactly an exciting story.”

streaming “Does it involve a man?”

jill “No.”

streaming “What about a crime?”

jill “Nope.”

streaming “A childhood promise?”

jill “Nah.”

streaming “A religious vow?”

jill “A what?”

streaming%20annoyed “You’re not gonna tell me that you just decided out of the blue to quit your job and start bartending.”

jill “That’s actually what happened…sorta.”

streaming%20annoyed “Oh, come on! No epiphany? Quarter-life crisis? Not even a hot teacher somewhere along the line?”

jill “…cough

jill “…”

jill “L-Life isn’t always a young adult novel where every decision is a road cone.”

streaming%20annoyed “And that’s a problem. One third of my audience are teens that shouldn’t be allowed to watch my streams.”

streaming%20annoyed “Throw me a bone here. There must be a nice, mystical story you can tell about yourself, Ms. Bartender.”

jill “Well…”

streaming “Yeeeeeeeeeeeeees?”

jill “…”

jill “Some time after I started working I got an interesting client.”

jill “He was a DRK-S0L, a really old Lilim model.”

jill “Apparently his power supply was running low.”

jill “His charger was destroyed, and he didn’t have the money to buy upgrades or replacements.”

jill “He also seemed to have neglected his maintenance.”

jill “He was from the time when the Collective Source wasn’t a cloud storage system.”

jill “So he wouldn’t be uploaded there once his body ran out of energy.”

streaming “Keep going…”

jill “It was weird, you know? He was the only Lilim I’ve seen with a clear cut fear of mortality.”

jill “No transcendence for him. He would disappear once his batteries ran out.”

jill “”It’s like knowing you’ll vanish while everyone else passes on to heaven,” he said.”

streaming “Oh, man…”

jill “I guess he felt bad about burdening someone else with his problems.”

jill “So he went and gave me a fingertip of his that fell while we were talking.”

jill “Before he left, he said, “If you remember me, maybe a part of me will transcend.””

streaming “…”

jill “Um…”

streaming%20excited “Bravo! Bra-vo!”

streaming%20excited “Touching! Full of feeling! Completely awesome!”

streaming%20excited “I’d pay to see a movie like that.”

streaming “So, what happened to that finger?”

jill “I made a pendant out of it. I carry it with me at all times.”

streaming “Even while bathing?”

jill “ALMOST all times.”

jill “Now that I think about it, how do you handle the stream if you want to watch a movie or something?”

streaming “I have a plugin that lays mosaic censorship over whatever I watch on TV or in the theater.”

jill “I see…”

streaming%20annoyed “Okay, this is getting stale. I’m gonna heat this up even if I have to do it myself.”

streaming%20annoyed “We need to drop a cow in here. Ms. Bartender, get me drunk. I don’t care how, just…do it.”

jill “Okay…”

streaming “Nope. A bit hot, but not lightheaded. Then again, I’m always hot.”

jill (“Hot-headed.”)

streaming “Your drinks are either too light or I’m more resilient to alcohol than I thought.”

streaming “Okay, let’s try this from a different angle. You ask the questions.”

jill “What kind of questions?”

streaming%20annoyed “I don’t know, I’m not the bartender. Do your bartender-ish thing.”

jill “What made you decide to start streaming yourself 24/7?”

streaming%20excited “See? That’s what I’m talking about. You’re the bartender here, bartender.”

streaming “Anyway, have you ever done something reckless or stupid because of peer pressure?”

jill “I think that’s something everyone has gone through.”

streaming “Well, it used to be that I very rarely succumbed to such problems.”

streaming “I was the type to never take risks or try new things.”

streaming “Every time I did, I was scolded rather than praised.”

streaming “What point is there in doing this stuff if nobody acknowledges you did well?”

streaming “But some time ago I stumbled upon a friend who would stream herself…talking.”

streaming “Nothing risque or noteworthy.”

streaming “She invited me on, and…well…the comments were intoxicating.”

streaming “The internet is a big place. Somehow I found within those comments people that acknowledged me.”

streaming%20excited “They encouraged me, even!”

streaming%20excited “After that stream, I tried doing some by myself.”

streaming “I turned on the camera, put on something cutesy and started dancing to ✩Kira✩ Miki.”

streaming “At first, I pretended the camera wasn’t there but as soon as I saw the comments…”

streaming “Something snapped within me.”

streaming%20excited “Lewd comments, praises, the usual random stuff…”

streaming%20excited “After seeing so many people interested in me, I started moving a lot more. No more shyness for me.”

streaming%20excited “After that I started doing more. I sang, I cooked, I drew things, I even did a striptease at some point.”

streaming%20excited “Whenever I was streaming, I stopped being shy.”

streaming%20excited “So, at some point I said, “Hey, this is the way I wanna live all my life”.”

streaming%20excited “And thus Streaming-chan was born.”

And mankind would learn real fear that day.

jill “Is it difficult to keep that up?”

streaming “Not really. It’s not like I’m acting or anything. I’m just being myself.”

streaming “I do need to mind camera angles and that kind of stuff sometimes, but it’s nothing major.”

streaming “And when do I need to mind that? For only $99.99 a month you can find out. Go Premium, Go!”

streaming%20excited “…hey! You’re good at this bartending stuff. Look at all the things you’ve made me say.”

jill “Well…”

streaming “Like, seriously. What’s your secret?”

streaming “How do you get people to talk?”

jill “I never do that much, actually.”

jill “Well, this is a bar after all.”

jill “And one of the reasons people come to a bar is because, they sometimes want to get things off their chests.”

streaming “So it’s not a conscious trick you could teach in a ten minute tutorial?”

jill “Nope.”

jill “You just need to be in the right place at the right time.”

jill “Some professions make you that personal stranger others feel comfortable telling their secrets to.”

jill “…of course, discretion helps too.”

streaming “Hey, now that you mention it, I do blab a lot to my hairdresser.”

streaming “Pretty interesting stuff.”

streaming “Well, no wild night tonight. But it did get interesting though.”

streaming%20excited “Anyway, I should go. But before I leave, what’s your name, Ms. Bartender?”

jill “…I’m Lana Smithee.”

streaming “Alright, Ms. Smithee. Thank you for a lovely night.”

streaming “Whoa! The floor is moving…”

gil “Quite the lively girl, eh?”

jill “People like her physically hurt me with their presence…”

gil “You think she’ll come back?”

jill “My mom always says, “You never know when the angels are saying ‘amen’”.”

gil “What does that mean?”

jill “It means shut your mouth or you’ll jinx it.”

gil “Why didn’t you give her your name?”

jill “Would you like to reveal your name to someone like her?”

gil “Good point…”

jill “I’m gonna take my break now. It’s been a while since I’ve needed a cigarette this badly…”

gil “Alright.”


#13

jill “All done.”

jill “Fresh air does wonders for you.”

???: “I insist that it sounds like dynamite.”

???: “No, it was too long to be dynamite. It sounded more like some heavy-duty tool.”

???: “You’re a heavy duty tool.”

???: “Yes, I am.”

???: “Wait, that…dammit!”

jill “Oh, welcome back.”

betty “Hey, bartender. What did that noise just now sound like to you?”

deal “I say it sounds like construction, but Betty here says it’s dynamite or something like that.”

jill “Not you too…”

deal “Eh? Do you think it’s dynamite then?”

jill “What? No, I say it’s a backfire.”

gil “It’s a gunshot.”

dana%20regular “Firecrackeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers!”

jillsigh See? Those sounds have been going on all night and we can’t figure out what they are.”

betty “Well, we aren’t here to discuss that. We’re here to…”

betty%20annoyed “Um…who is he?”

gil “Gillian. Nice to meet you.”

betty%20annoyed “I don’t know, you have more of a John face.”

betty%20annoyed “Where was he last weekend?”

jill “I don’t know, and I don’t care. He already made amends for leaving me to fend off all those dogs.”

jill “Anyway, what do you want?”

betty “Beer.”

deal “Oh, what the hell. I’ll have a beer too.”

jill “Two Beers coming right up.”

deal “Thank you.”

betty “Man, after-work Beer is always the best Beer.”

jill “Yeah.”

betty “So tell me, bartender…”

jill “Just call me Jill.”

betty “Jill? That’s a nice name.”

betty “How’s business lately?”

jill “As usual.”

jill “Wait, I guess you don’t really know what “usual” means for us.”

jill “Um…we’re not the kind to be filled to the brim during rush hours and we don’t have that many regulars.”

jill “So…it’s just the same. Nothing’s changed.”

betty “I guess when we came here with all the dogs, it was quite the change of pace, huh?”

jill “You have no idea.”

jill “So, what brings you here today?”

deal “I suggested coming here after work.”

betty “It’s Friday. A drink to kick off the weekend is one of those little things that makes life worthwhile.”

betty “But he did only suggest it after I found him hugging a stuffed Corgi in his office.”

jill “A…stuffed Corgi?”

deal “A plushie. Not an overfed dog.”

jill “I see…”

jill “Wait, you have an office?”

deal “Yeah, what’s weird about that?”

jill “I thought you’d have a cubicle…or a kennel.”

deal “A kennel…”

jill “I mean, you don’t hear much about office boys getting their own offices.”

betty “It’s not hard, considering the rest of the staff don’t use chairs or tables. Even I have my own office.”

jill “I don’t know about that. The mess they left in the bathroom usually requires someone with thumbs.”

jill “Chairs and tables seem like lesser evils.”

jill “And you’re the veterinarian after all…”

deal “A kennel…”

betty “What about a kennel?”

deal “I don’t know, I just thought it’d be cute if one day I went to work and they had one waiting for me.”

deal “Like they saw me as one of them.”

betty%20embarrassed “…”

jill “So…w-where did you get that plushie?”

betty “Oh, I gave it to him.”

betty “It was my gift last Mega Christmas.”

jill “Wait…so he got defensive over being caught hugging a gift you gave him?”

betty “That’s the funniest part. He acted like I didn’t know he had it.”

betty%20embarrassed “I was just glad he was enjoying it, you know?”

deal “Why are you two talking like I’m not here?”

betty “Because you’re not giving any input anyway.”

jill “So, how’s stuff up at Doglandia?”

deal “Well, we recently struck a deal with Farmer Fabrics to start a doggie clothing line.”

jill “Farmer Fabrics? That name rings a bell…”

betty “It’s that textile company where the owner believes herself to be an alpaca.”

jill “Oh…yeah. That one.”

jill “We had her here some time ago. She got drunk and…”

jill “…so much saliva everywhere.”

betty “Oh…”

jill “B-But anyway, dog clothes?”

deal “We hired a new employee and she showed the higher ups some designs.”

deal “After a couple of talks, they decided to give the clothing production a try.”

betty%20embarrassed “Those designs were embarrassing, you know?”

betty%20embarrassed “But something tells me that’s why they were approved.”

jill “You guys want anything else?”

betty “I’ll have whatever this guy orders.”

deal “Let’s see…I’ll have a Brandtini.”

jill “Two Brandtinis then.”

betty “You have such a…wimpy taste in drinks, Deal.”

deal “Not all of us spent their weekends in college partying like maniacs.”

deal “Actually, not all of us went to college.”

betty%20embarrassed “You missed nothing. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and kick myself.”

betty%20embarrassed “Hm…”

deal “Something on your mind?”

betty%20embarrassed “That girl that’s designing the clothes…”

deal “Laura? What about her?”

betty%20embarrassed “She’s cute, but she should take more care in her appearance.”

betty%20embarrassed “I mean, right now she fits the “unkempt cutie” category so well that it’s almost painful.”

betty%20annoyed “It’s so cliched that I can’t help but cringe when looking at her.”

deal “Cringe?”

betty%20annoyed “It’s like when you see something that’s such a cheesy movie cliche…”

betty%20annoyed “…you just feel the need to kick whatever the hell it is.”

deal “K-Kick?”

deal “Betty, I didn’t think I’d have to say this to you twice in the same month but…you shouldn’t kick people.”

betty%20embarrassed “I wasn’t gonna kick her. Why’d you think I’d kick her?”

deal “Because I’ve seen you kick people before.”

deal “Apparently unprovoked or due to complicated reasons only you understand.”

betty “Fine. Guilty as charged.”

betty “Still, I’m gonna do something about her. I feel like I just need to.”

betty “It’s a matter of honor.”

deal “Honor, she says…”

betty%20annoyed “Well, maybe honor isn’t the right word.”

betty%20annoyed “But she has potential and I’m not going to let her waste it.”

betty “She’s your boss, right?”

jill “Didn’t you meet her before?”

betty “Nope, I’m just the veterinarian. The dogs were the ones that organized a meeting with her.”

betty%20annoyed “I’d say she’s really good looking. But honestly, those pants rob her of her charm.”

jill “What do you mean?”

betty%20annoyed “They make her look too uptight…and at a glance, she doesn’t seem like the type.”

betty%20annoyed “Some shorts or a skirt would fit her better.”

jill “Hm…”

jill “Well, she wears a skirt or pants depending on her mood.”

jill “There was also this one time where she came in wearing a kilt.”

dana%20regular “That kilt was awesome!”

jill (“Damn, she has nice hearing.”)

deal “Now that I think about it…”

deal “You have that hobby of speculating what someone’s personality is like based just on their looks.”

deal “I mean, you did the same with Jill here.”

betty%20annoyed “Amazing, you actually made that sound weird as hell.”

betty%20annoyed “Yes, I have the habit of trying to guess someone’s behavior based on their looks.”

betty%20annoyed “No, it’s not a hobby. You made that sound like I’m some sort of creep.”

deal “I-I did?”

jill “What did you think about me?”

betty “Nothing much, really. Mostly that you were too polite.”

betty “Not a natural polite, though. More like a professional polite. You’re like that because you need to be.”

betty “That was it, really.”

betty “Although the way you looked at me when I said your boss could use a skirt or shorts was interesting.”

betty “You seemed…interested in what I said. Like you’d like to see that scenario.”

jill “You’re thinking too much.”

jill “What do you think about Gil, then?”

betty “Hm…”

gil “…”

betty “Hmhm…”

betty “He’s either a total simpleton or acts like one in a way that consumes the rest of his character.”

gil “Heh…heheh…yeah…”

betty “But anyway, I’m just a veterinarian.”

betty%20embarrassed “My judgement might be clouded by seeing so many furry businessmen.”

betty “Let’s have another round.”

deal “Sounds like a good idea. I’ll have…”

betty%20annoyed “You’ll have something strong. You need to pump some testosterone into your taste in drinks.”

Why do I feel like this line would become even worse if it was written in 2018?

betty%20annoyed “You’ll thank me later. Trust me.”

jill “Then…”

betty%20annoyed “Two strong drinks. Manly drinks. I don’t care which ones.”

deal “Well…”

betty%20annoyed “You shut up.”

betty%20annoyed “Now, drink.”

deal “…”

deal “Nf…”

betty%20annoyed “Oh, man up. You’ll get used to it.”

betty “Hey Jill, has someone ever proposed to you as a prank?”

jill “…”

betty “You know, make you think they’re falling in love with you just to reveal that it was all a prank.”

jill “…”

betty “Jill?”

jill “First year of high school. The guy I had my eyes on for a whole year had asked me out.”

jill “Saturday morning, I go to the meeting place. What do I find? It was all a prank by some bitches.”

betty%20embarrassed “Ouch…”

betty%20embarrassed “Sorry, I-…”

jill “The worst part isn’t that they set me up, but rather that I saw it coming.”

jill “I knew that guy wouldn’t find me attractive enough to ask me out.”

jill “I knew those bitches would target me sooner or later just for kicks.”

jill “I knew it all, so when it all happened I felt nothing.”

jill “They confirmed my suspicions that teenagers are a plague that must be eradicated.”

jill “…”

jill “…”

jill “Anyway, why the question?”

betty%20annoyed “…hey, piece o’ scrap.”

deal “Yeah?”

betty%20annoyed “These are the situations where you should’ve stopped me before I said anything.”

deal “It’s better to learn by tripping yourself.”

jill “Why the question, though?”

betty%20annoyed “U-Um…”

betty “I was asking because one of my exes’ cousins has been hitting on me the past couple of days.”

betty “If it were somebody else, I’d pretend to be straight with the help of this piece o’ scrap here.”

betty “Sadly, she knows who I am.”

betty “Worst part is, knowing Vero, she probably put her cousin up to it as a practical joke.”

jill “Well, I’d suggest telling the cousin that she should cut it out.”

jill “If she feels genuinely offended, they might not have been in cahoots.”

jill “But I’m just spouting nonsense based on what you’ve told me. Don’t pay too much attention.”

betty “It’s better than my suggestion.”

jill “What was yours?”

deal “Waterboarding.”

jill “I se-…what?”

deal “The fact that she knows how to waterboard somebody is what scares me most.”

betty%20annoyed “The Girl Scouts also taught me how to skin a deer, and I see nobody making a fuss about that.”

betty “But yeah, your advice sounds good enough.”

betty “Especially if you factor that if Gina’s being honest about her, she probably won’t feel offended.”

deal “Gina… Which one was that again?”

betty “Blonde, flat as a cutting board but cute as a button.”

deal “Oh yeah…she came to the office Christmas party, right?”

betty “That’s the one.”

betty “Well, it’s getting late. We should be going.”

deal “Yeah.”

deal “Thank you again for everything, Jill.”

jill “Please come again.”

dana%20peeved “Those damned cats moving the internet antenna…”

dana%20peeved “Oh yeah, Gil. Some guy said I should tell you that “the bunny’s late”…whatever that means.”

jill “Shouldn’t we be worried?”

dana%20regular “Think of him as a kid that tells outrageous stories to get attention and everything will be easier.”

dana%20regular “Besides, he knows how to take care of himself.”

jill “Yeah.”

dana%20regular “He’ll be here on Monday like nothing ever happened.”

jill “Ah, Stella. You’re here for another drink today?”

stella%20annoyed “Not really. I was just around the neighborhood, and…”

jill (“Right…”)

stella “A-Anyway, I found this bottle being neglected at my house.”

stella “And I thought someone who likes old liquor as much as you would appreciate it.”

jill “Really? I-I don’t know what to say. Thanks!”

stella “Well, it’s nothing, really…”

jill “Hm?”

newscaster “The Apollo Trust bank has locked its doors, leaving about 30 people trapped inside.”

newscaster “The security system was activated after somebody tried to steal information from the main database.”

newscaster “Early this morning, the bank…”

jill “…”

jill “I wonder if she’ll be alright…”

jill “Ah, hello Jamie.”

jamie “Did you see the news about the Apollo Trust bank?”

jill “The newsflash just ended.”

jill “Sounds like things got ugly.”

jamie “From what I heard, there was a commotion earlier today.”

jamie “Something about people being unable to leave the building.”

jamie “Let’s hope for the best.”

jill “Yeah.”

jill “Gil stormed off just a minute ago, though.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “I see. I guess the bunny was late.”

jill (“He definitely knows what’s going on.”)

jill “What can I get you?”

jamie “Give me a Marsblast.”

jill “Coming right up.”

jamie “Yeah, this is the one.”

jill “Marsblasts have always seemed poorly named to me. Shouldn’t it be red instead of yellow-ish?”

jill “Then again, the whole “Red Planet” thing is still its nickname.”

jill “So, how have you been doing?”

jamie “I was working a contract, actually.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “But the target’s inside the Apollo Trust bank. Figured I’d simply leave him be for now.”

jill “And then you came for a drink.”

jamie “Yeah.”

jill “A part of me wants to ask who your target is, but I’m guessing it’s a secret.”

jamie “I can tell you that it appears to be part of a power struggle somewhere.”

jill “Has a target ever made you a counteroffer to go after the one that sent you?”

jamie “They usually don’t live long enough. I also don’t like it when a target who’s seen my face manages to survive.”

jill “…”

jamie%20embarrassed “What happened?”

jill “N-Nothing, I just suddenly thought…what if someone sent you after me?”

jamie%20embarrassed “I’d reject the contract.”

jill “You would?”

jamie “I don’t ask the name of many people, you know. And I always remember those whose names I’ve asked.”

jamie “They’re real in my eyes.”

jamie “I like to know them better and, to some extent, I care about them.”

jamie “I need that because otherwise…”

jill “Otherwise?”

jamie “…nothing you should concern yourself with.”

jamie “But don’t worry. Unless you suddenly find yourself caught in the middle of a power struggle…”

jamie “The only way I see you becoming tangled in that kind of mess is if you find yourself too involved with gangs.”

jill “Thanks for the advice…I guess.”

jill “Still, the thought of people hiring others to kill somebody is…”

jill “I can’t wrap my head around that, and I don’t want to either.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “The world can be a dark place, Jill.”

jill “Say…do you think the people in the bank will be alright?”

jamie%20sideways%20look “This isn’t the first time a bank has closed like that, but something is…off about this.”

jill “Off? How?”

jamie%20sideways%20look “I don’t know. Maybe it’s the hour. Maybe it’s the fact that the news is making an unusually big stink out of it.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “Let’s hope I’m just overthinking it.”

jill “Yeah.”

jamie “Are you worried about something?”

jill “A girl that was in here yesterday said she was going to that bank.”

jill “It’s not like me to be personally invested in what happens to clients, but…”

jill “Nevermind. Do you want something else?”

jamie “Yeah, I can make time for one more drink.”

jamie “Fetch me a Beer. Let’s keep it simple.”

jill “Sure.”

jamie “I once read that Beer played an important part in humanity’s history.”

jill “Yeah, I’m familiar with the theory. It’s an interesting one.”

jill “The gist of it is that brewing was an important part of society during its development.”

jill “Drinks were ubiquitous while feasting. They helped to foster bonds and build faction alliances.”

jill “Given enough time and enough Beer, larger societies would be born.”

jamie “You seem to know a lot about this.”

jill “Nah, just enough.”

jill “Last time you came, you mentioned something about going haywire.”

jill “What did you mean? I’m intrigued.”

jamie “Have you ever felt like your sanity has slipped right by you?”

jill “Well, a client earlier today was driving me nuts, but aside from that…no.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “Truth be told, neither have I. But I’m afraid of it happening.”

jill “How so?”

jamie%20sideways%20look “I don’t know. I just have the lingering fear that at some point I won’t be myself.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “I’ll go crazy, I’ll wake up a stranger to myself and I won’t care…”

jamie%20sideways%20look “It’s just an irrational fear that lingers in me and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “Like the fear of cockroaches for some people.”

jill “Only instead of fearing a crawling nuisance, you fear lunacy…”

jamie “Something like that.”

jamie “Sometimes I wonder if uploading my brain would solve all those problems.”

jill “Well, that technology is still a ways off.”

jill “I’ve heard of a couple of experiments regarding the technology, but it seems everything’s still too buggy.”

jamie “I’ll have to wait until it’s safe, then…”

jill “Until then, don’t worry too much about those possibilities unless they’re tangible enough.”

jill “Otherwise, you’re no better than a hypochondriac.”

jamie “Good point.”

jill “The way you said it makes it sound less like something you feel might happen.”

jill “Something you’re just afraid COULD happen at some point.”

jamie “That’s pretty much it, yeah.”

jill “Doesn’t that make you saner? I mean…”

jill “Were you really on your way to becoming an unhinged maniac, I don’t know if you’d think about it at all.”

jamie “Hm…you might have a point there.”

jamie “Well then. Nice talking to you, Jill.”

jill “Same here. Always a pleasure.”

jill “Please come again.”

jill “Phew…all done.”

jill “Thanks, but I’ll pass. I have a couple of matters to attend to at home.”

dana%20regular “You do?”

jill “Yeah, I ordered a Nanocamo module for my apartment. It should be installed by now.”

dana%20regular “Nanocamo? Isn’t that a tad expensive?”

jill “Yup. To be honest I asked my mom for it.”

jill “She had been pestering me about what gift I wanted for Mega Christmas for a while.”

jill “She’s been asking that for four years now and I’ve always said I was fine.”

jill “So I…took the chance and asked her for it. Used up all the past gifts.”

dana%20regular “Oh.”

jill “Feels a bit weird to ask your parents for a gift like that when you’re 27.”

dana%20regular “I’m sure she doesn’t mind.”

dana%20regular “So, what will the Nanocamo module change from your apartment?”

jill “I got the basic plan: Walls and one piece of cloth. So I picked my kotatsu too.”

dana%20regular “You have a kotatsu?”

Nerd.

jill “You know what a kotatsu is, Boss?”

dana%20regular “I’m more impressed you know what it is.”

dana%20regular “I mean, futons are common knowledge, but a kotatsu…not so much.”

jill “Yeah, well. Days get cold and the heater might not be enough.”

jill “And the Japanese have mastered how to live comfortably in reduced spaces.”

dana%20regular “You should invite me sometime, I wanna see how you decorate the place with that.”

jill “Let’s plan a day to grab a Beer, yeah.”

jill “Well, I gotta go.”

jill “See you tomorrow, Boss.”

dana%20regular “Careful out there.”


#14

And no one is reporting on it.

Are you actually surprised?

Considering the nature of their threats, it’s clear that QUINCY doesn’t want to take the blame.

What a fucking coward.

Do we have any sources there?

I’m posting from the site, it looks like someone’s inside the bank with a huge bomb threatening to blow up the building.

Any demands?

They want QUINCY to quit and the White Knights disbanded.

wow

So they’re actually helping the protestors?

uhm…That’s not the way to help the people.

What if this is just a huge false flag to blame the opposition?

I wouldn’t be surprised.

This fucking place, lol.

Let’s wait for more info.

This thread is closed

Streaming-chan went nuts last night, where the hell is she now?

I don’t even recognize the place she’s at right now.

It doesn’t look pretty either.

At least she’s getting some rest.

What did I miss?

Streaming-chan went to Valhalla, got a bit drunk and got the hell out of there all hyper, tried to steal snacks from a vending machine but the thing defended itself with an electric shock.

I’m going to marry Streaming-chan!

That’s freaking nuts.

You just don’t mess with those things.

She fell asleep from the shock.

As expected of Streaming-chan!

I just hope nothing happens to her while she lays there.

falls asleep at a shoddy backstreet in glitch city

She’ll be fine.

This thread is closed

I’m fucking crying right now, let me tell you the story.

Waiting for OP to deliver…

I’m here…anyway, here it goes.

I was going home after buying groceries from the store, I was very tired because I had to line up for hours just to buy milk, and when I’m finally out of there a group of three White Knights stopped me and starting asking for my ID, and also wanted to see my bag to check if I wasn’t a scalper, and once they saw everything was in order…they asked me for a military service ID, and just…what the fuck? why would I have that on me? and there’s no enforced conscription anymore, IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE, and because I didn’t have it on me they asked for money or else they’d plant drugs on me. I of course refused, but they’d lose their patience and one of them hit me right in my temple with a gun, I was bleeding like crazy on the floor so they just took my groceries and left…

Holy shit man…I fucking hate this place, I hate it so much…I WANT TO LEAVE THIS FUCKING HELL HOLE, I’m so tired of this shit every fucking day.

This thread is closed

Hijacked screens at downtown Casanova announced what seems to be a terrorist threat aimed at the Apollo Trust Bank. The information suggests that a currently unidentified bomber is currently inside the building.

The White Knights’ Counter Terrorism Unit responded to the threat immediately. However, the bank was then locked down by an external network attack.

”We might be dealing with a dual threat here”, CTU’s Chloe Bauer told AE. “The bank has been sealed shut using its own Disaster Prevention System. However, none of the terminals at the bank were working at the time; The building is basically sealed at this point. The hostages are trapped.”

Hi everyone.

We take your security seriously here at The Augmented Eye, and we have the obligation to disclose that recent articles on Alice_Rabbit were vandalized by who we think is Alice_Rabbit themselves, or a very good impersonator.

We want to extend our apologies and inform that we’ll be limiting our coverage of Alice_Rabbit to just factual news and not entertainment pieces.

Sincerely, the AE Staff.

Even though most countries in the world have adapted their economies to solve the ongoing problem of climate change, Glitch City still relies on ancient technologies in order to keep costs low and profits high.

As a result of this backwards policy, it seems as though we’ll be experiencing a huge increase in air pollution next year.

”Our contamination levels will force the whole population to move away from a lot of areas within the city. The soil is dying at an alarming pace,” said experts in a report.

Having to buy special raincoats and umbrellas does suck, but experts say you better get used to it.

jill “Things at the Apollo Bank are getting ugly, so that means more people will be looking for a drink.”

dana%20blushingsigh You can take a break, you know? You’re quite the hard worker.”

dana%20peeved “And the streets are not exactly…safe right now.”

jill “They’ve never been when you get down to it.”

jill “And besides, I can’t afford to not come with the bar closing soon.”

dana%20regular “I wonder if any bar has used impending closure as a means of getting their employees to work.”

dana%20regular “Seems like the total opposite would happen.”

jill “Not to mention I get bored out of my brains in my apartment, so I’d rather come here, anyway.”

dana%20regular “What did you say?”

jill “Nothing important.”

jill “Gil isn’t back yet?”

dana%20regular “Nope. I wouldn’t worry too much about him though.”

jill “If you say so…”

dana%20regular “Say, what’s this bottle?”

jill “A client gave it to me yesterday…a gift of sorts, I’m guessing.”

dana%20regular “Oh, cool.”

jill “It’s some sort of rum.”

dana%20regular “Rum? Nice!”

jill “Want me to serve you a bit of it?”

dana%20regular “Hm…yeah, sure!”

dana%20regular “Alright!”

jill “Anytime.”

jill “Okay then…”

jill “Time to serve mix and change lives.”

jill “Wait…that’s not how it goes.”

jill “…”

jill (“sigh No one here to retort.”)

jill (“Man, it feels lonely without Gil here…”)

jill (“I just hope the restlessness in the streets doesn’t lead to dangerous or weird types coming in here.”)

jill (“Holy shit, that was a record-breaking jinx!”)

jill “W-Welcome to Valhalla. What can I get you?”

taylor “I’ll have a Blue Fairy.”

jill (“Don’t make a joke about becoming real… Don’t make a joke about becoming real…”)

jill “On it.”

taylor “Nice, yeah. This is the thing.”

jill “So…um…how are you gonna…?”

jill “Oh…you can grab stuff. Should’ve figured as much.”

jill “You can drink stuff?”

taylor “And eat. I have the same system Lilim do.”

jill “Can I ask you something um…er…Misssssssssssss…”

taylor “Call me Taylor. Just…Taylor.”

taylor “And yes, a cutie like you can ask me anything.”

jill “Ok Taylor.”

taylor “You have to be the first person I’ve met that didn’t go “Okay, Just Taylor”.”

jill (“Nah, too easy.”)

jill “You are…a brain in a jar, right?”

taylor “I’m sure not a hologram, of that I’m sure.”

taylor “Yup, I’m a bonafide human brain in a jar.”

jill “So… How…? Why…?”

taylor “What? Does my handsomeness make you speechless?”

jill “You’re not something a girl sees every day. And that’s saying quite a bit in these parts.”

taylor “Fear not! For I have a speech prepared for these situations.”

jill “A speech?”

taylor “You’re seeing one of the 5 Great Living Bottled Brains of the world.”

taylor “We are brains living in conditions that allow us to exist as any other humanoid creature.”

taylor “All while computers in our jars scan our activities.”

taylor “In a slow but steady manner, we are helping the world understand the inner workings of nature’s most complex computer.”

jill “I’m guessing you prepared that after being asked the same question too many times, huh?”

taylor “Not out of exasperation or anything like that, mind you.”

taylor “I just wanted to have something thoughtful prepared.”

taylor “Look! I even have a couple of pamphlets with me.”

taylor “You want one?”

jill “Sure…”

jill “What brings one of our world’s five brains in jars to this place though?”

taylor “Oh, I’m from around here, actually.”

taylor “I just wanted to take a walk for the first time in…quite a bit of time.”

jill “Have you come here before?”

taylor “Sadly, no. Otherwise I’d remember a cute face like yours.”

taylor “Speaking of which, can I have your name?”

jill “Um…it’s Jill.”

taylor “Jill? That’s a really cute name.”

jill “Thank you.”

jill “Say, weren’t you scared of going outside today? What with the commotion around and all…”

taylor “It didn’t stop you from coming here either, did it?”

jill “Yeah, you’re right.”

taylor “It’s gonna take more than cryptic but ominous news to stop me.”

jill “You’re awfully energetic, did you know that?”

taylor “Sorry, does that bother you?”

jill “No, not at all. Just that I figured a brain in a jar wouldn’t be so…happy.”

taylor “While I was alive, my body got to a point where there wasn’t much I could do.”

taylor “This new state of existence allows me to accomplish more than I ever could before.”

taylor “Plus, I’m doing something that’ll help people in the long run.”

taylor “Wouldn’t you be happy?”

jill “I wonder…”

taylor “Do you wanna make me happy, Jill?”

jill “Depends on what it takes.”

taylor “Don’t worry. Just give me a Beer.”

jill “Alright, then yeah. I’ll make you happy.”

taylor “Ah yes…no matter what happens, Beer’s always good.”

jill “Hey, Taylor. May I ask something a bit…indiscreet?”

taylor “You can ask anything you want.”

jill “While you had your other body…were you male or female?”

taylor “Hm…that’s actually quite the question.”

taylor “Especially considering I don’t really know the answer either.”

jill “You don’t?”

taylor “I mean, I remember my name WAS Taylor.”

taylor “In fact, I remember every detail of my life, but that’s the one thing that’s a bit blurry.”

jill “Blurry?”

taylor “Yeah, the team that put me here said that it might be a side effect of the whole process…”

taylor “But my family and friends say that even in life I didn’t put too much thought into questions about gender.”

taylor “So, in the end we’re back to square one.”

jill “Wait, you don’t have pics or anything else?”

taylor “To be honest, I’ve chosen to not look too deeply into my old identity.”

taylor “Partly because I’m happier in this ambiguous state.”

taylor “But also because I have this gut feeling I’m not psychologically prepared to see what I looked like.”

taylor “I don’t know…I feel like if I do I might…crumble.”

jill “Damn…”

jill “Just out of curiosity, in a third person scenario…how should one refer to you?”

taylor “By my name.”

jill “I guess that makes sense…”

taylor “If you absolutely need to use pronouns, refer to me like you’d refer to any other house appliance.”

taylor “A TV or anything like that. An “it”.”

jill “Are you okay with that?”

taylor “In the end, even if I can speak, I’m just an object.”

taylor “That’s actually something I’ve internalized a long time ago. Even with my original body.”

jill “I-I see…”

taylor “If that doesn’t make you comfortable, feel free to use neutral pronouns.”

taylor “To be honest, you can refer to me however you want. I don’t really pay mind to that.”

jill “But this isn’t about what makes me comfortable…”

taylor “You know what the downside to this body is?”

taylor “I can’t get drunk.”

jill “If you want to call that a downside…”

taylor “If you wanted to drink alcohol for the taste, there are many alternatives.”

taylor “Drunkenness is part of the whole experience.”

jill “Why though? Lilim can get drunk with no problem.”

taylor “Yeah, but in their case, their brain’s a computer attached to their body.”

taylor “Getting drunk causes their brains to reduce the input speed to their bodies.”

taylor “Depending on the model, their “drunk-subroutine” might throw in a different behavioral cycle, even.”

taylor “It’s hard to get drunk when the whole point of you being in a jar is figuring out how exactly YOU work.”

jill “Hm…yeah, you’re right.”

???: “Hey Jill!”

jill “Oh, Alma.”

jill “Welcome to Valhalla. What can I get you?”

jill “…happy?”

alma%20concerned “Not when you put it that way.”

taylor “Why, hello there, beautiful.”

alma%20upset “Hm? WhoAAAAAAAAH!”

taylor “You hurt my feelings with that, darling.”

alma%20sideways%20look “S-S-Sorry, you don’t see talking disembodied brains every day…”

alma%20sideways%20look “I mean, I did work a summer in Lilim maintenance but even then, those were talking heads…”

taylor “Oh, don’t worry about it. At least you’re not running or fainting.”

taylor “Your name was Alma, right? I’m Taylor.”

alma “N-Nice to meet you, Taylor.”

taylor “Say, Alma. Can I buy you a drink?”

alma%20embarrassed “Sorry, I only date people who’re at least 50% organic…and have at least one face.”

taylor “Hm…I know just what to strive for, then!”

taylor “Just kidding. It’d make me happy to make you happy by buying you a drink. Does that bother you?”

alma “I guess if Jill’s the bartender, I don’t have a problem with that.”

taylor “Awesome! I’ll pay for your next drink then.”

jill “What will you have?”

alma “I’ll have a Cobalt Velvet.”

jill “And you, Taylor?”

taylor “I’m fine, actually.”

alma “You’re gonna have me drink alone?”

taylor “I don’t wanna drink that much.”

jill “Okay, then…”

taylor “Hope you enjoy it.”

alma%20smiling “You know, you’ve been nicer to me these past minutes than at least three guys have been in the last year.”

taylor “Judging from the way you two talk, I’m guessing you’ve been a client here for a while now, right?”

alma “Only for about half a year or so, if memory serves right.”

taylor “Really? One would think it’s been longer.”

jillsigh It feels like it’s been longer.”

alma%20amused “Shut up, you love me and you know it.”

taylor “So, you just started coming here and that was it?”

alma “Well, the first time I came here, the other guy…speaking of which, where’s Pablo?”

jill “Gillian.”

alma “Archimedes.”

jill “Dunno. Adventuring or something.”

alma “Anyways, the other guy served me the first time I came here. Nothing unusual there.”

alma “The next time I showed up, Jill here was the one serving and…I don’t know, I feel like she just gets me.”

alma%20smiling “There’s this…chemistry. We…click.”

jill “”We click”, she says…”

alma%20embarrassed “The fact that I feel more chemistry with her than with many other people is kinda sad, though.”

taylor “It’s always good to see a nice friendship.”

taylor “Sadly, it’s getting late and I’ve gotta go.”

jill “Please come again.”

alma%20smiling “That Taylor sure was nice.”

jill “A bit weird at first, though.”

jill “Apparently one of five brains being studied by scientists or something.”

jill “There’s a summary of it in this pamphlet.”

alma “Let’s see…”

alma “Oh yeah, I’ve heard of them before. Can’t believe I actually met one.”

jill “Say Alma, how many people are there in your family? Just curious.”

:tw: Some minor misgendering up ahead. :tw:

alma%20sideways%20look “Well, aside from my mom and dad, we’re five sis-…sorry, four sisters and one brother.”

alma “Funnily enough, we all have names that start with the first five letters in the alphabet.”

jill “So you’re the eldest one?”

alma “No, I’m actually the middle kid.”

jill “You’re the middle kid but your name starts with an A?”

alma%20concerned “Don’t think too much about it. I never said the order reflected our ages.”

alma “My sister Carlotta’s the eldest one, then there’s Dayana just before me.”

alma “Then comes Eva and at the bottom lies Bele-…”

alma%20embarrassedahem Sorry. The youngest one is Bernardo.”

jill “You’ve never been alone, I’m guessing.”

alma “Can’t complain about that, I guess…”

alma “It helps that we were never five in the same house.”

alma “By the time Evita and Bernie were born, Dayana and Carlotta had already moved.”

alma%20sideways%20look “Speaking of family. Today, I came because I needed a break from everything that’s been going on with them.”

jill “Do you live with them?”

alma “No, but Evita and Bernie do. Not to mention I visit them almost every day.”

alma “Anyway, my second-eldest sister, Dayana, just separated from her husband.”

alma%20sideways%20look “It’s not even been a week but she’s already got some other guy in her bed.”

alma%20sideways%20look “She left her kid with her husband’s parents and pretty much forgot about them.”

alma%20embarrassed “Nevermind the fact that they need to go to school and all that.”

jill “Damn…”

alma%20embarrassed “Dayana’s life has always been messy, but these days she’s really making it big.”

alma%20embarrassed “She wants “time for herself.” To “live her life.””

alma%20concerned “She didn’t think about that when she married the guy at 20.”

alma%20concerned “She didn’t think about that when marrying a guy she had only known for three months.”

jill “You should take your own advice.”

alma%20concerned “Hey, I’d never marry someone who could catch my attention so quickly, okay?”

alma%20confused “Sure, there was that one time when it almost happened, but I blame the damn stadium kiss cam.”

jill “Kiss cam?”

alma “I was going out with a guy my little sister introduced to me.”

alma “Seems he was her friend’s brother or something.”

alma “We went out a couple of times and he invited me to a basketball game.”

alma “The mood was nice but then later, the kiss cam focused on us and instead of kissing me, he proposed!”

alma%20sideways%20look “I almost got caught in the mood and accepted.”

jill “Huh.”

jill “So I take it you rejected him…in a stadium…on the fucking kiss cam.”

Normal response to manipulative behavior like that, imo.

alma%20concerned “We went out for like 3 weeks!”

alma%20concerned “I don’t know. Maybe he wanted to get in my pants with the old “sex on the wedding night” line.”

alma%20embarrassed “But I honest-to-god can’t understand why he thought it would be a good idea.”

jill “That sounds too convoluted, you know? Proposing and waiting for the wedding night just for sex.”

alma%20concerned “Never underestimate the lengths a man is willing to go to get you in their bed.”

alma%20concerned “I’ve seen more convoluted plots over the years.”

jill “I’m feeling tempted to ask. But I’ll pass.”

jill “Want anything else?”

alma “Hm? What’s that bottle?”

jill “Oh yeah, it’s just some rum a client gave me yesterday.”

alma “A gift? What did you do?”

jill “A good enough service, I’m guessing.”

alma ”Ca…ci…que.”

alma “Huh, interesting name.”

jill “What does it mean?”

alma “Cacique’s the name of the chieftain in some native tribes.”

jill “I see. Do you want me to serve you some of this?”

alma%20sideways%20look “I’ll pass. I don’t have too many good memories where rum’s involved.”

alma “Get me a Fringe Weaver instead, will you?”

jill “Alright.”

jill “What kind of memories do you have with rum?”

alma “Nothing you need to worry about.”

jill “Okay.”

alma%20smiling “Alright, now’s my turn to ask questions.”

jill “About what?”

alma “What kind of family is your family?”

jill “Well…”

jill “I’m an only child. My mom and dad split amicably.”

jill “My mom is a violinist, so she was always away from home with the orchestra.”

jill “I spent most of the time with my dad, my aunt, and my grandpa.”

jill “Aside from that, I’d say my childhood was quite uneventful.”

alma “Huh…didn’t you get something like your mom’s artistic vein or something?”

jill “I played the violin until I was around 16, I think.”

alma “What made you stop?”

jill “I don’t know. I just kinda said “That’s it!” one day and stopped.”

alma “What about cousins or the rest of your family?”

jill “I see very little of them, actually.”

jill “Mainly because my dad moved away from most of them. Most of my mom’s family live in France to boot.”

alma “So your mom’s French?”

jill “Yup.”

alma “Can you speak French?”

jill “Mon aeroglisseur est plein d’anguilles.”

alma%20smiling “Ooooh, what does that mean?”

jill “Rubbish? I don’t know. I can’t speak French.”

jill “I did try though, but college started and I stopped taking classes.”

jill “Funny thing, I actually have a cousin from my mom’s side that lives close by.”

jill “But you’ll be hard-pressed to make me spot him in a crowd.”

alma “You’re kinda lucky, you know? All of my mom’s side of the family lives here.”

alma “The chances of me meeting someone I’m related to on the street are ridiculously high.”

jill “But yeah, that’s the primer on my family. Nothing too interesting, sadly.”

alma “Your mom’s a French violinist and you call that uninteresting?”

jill “I’m wondering if your family has ever made a fuss about you being a hacker.”

alma “”Hacker” makes it sound too exotic. It’s like if I called you a mixologist.”

jill “Please don’t, ever. Sounds like something somebody would say to make “bartender” sound sophisticated.”

alma%20smiling “See?”

alma “I mean, “hacker” is a good way to summarize it, but it’s not the best. I’m a security consultant.”

alma “People want to find flaws in the security of their systems and I do my best to pinpoint where it breaks.”

alma “Be it Glitch City or anywhere else in the world. They need security, I’m their woman.”

jill “You’ve told quite a few stories about cracking into databases to retrieve info like some sort of mercenary, though.”

alma%20confused “…that doesn’t change the fact that “hacker” is not the best term to use.”

alma%20confused “Makes the whole thing sound illegal when it’s actually an honest job.”

jill “Didn’t you tell me you once secured some incriminating pics from a guy’s cellphone?”

alma%20embarrassed “A MOSTLY honest job. Sheesh.”

jill “What made you become a hacker, by the way?”

alma “I’ve always been a sucker for puzzles.”

alma “Even as a kid, I always had a sudoku or crossword with me.”

alma “But at some point, they started feeling kinda same-y.”

alma “So…when I started college, I took a course on system security. It felt like the kind of puzzle I was looking for.”

alma “I mean, there are all kinds of things involved in breaching net security.”

alma “You need to attack the stuff from different angles.”

alma “And it’s something that’s always evolving. The whole point of everything is to strengthen security.”

alma “Every time you think you’ve got the gist of it, they change everything.”

alma “So it’s kinda like an always-evolving puzzle.”

alma “A puzzle I help make harder at that.”

jill “Huh…I didn’t think about it that way.”

alma “It is less action-y than what movies make it up to be, though…”

alma “No real-time frantic typing. Nothing like that.”

alma%20smiling “Still, seeing my code break through something… It’s an amazing feeling.”

jill “Will you have anything else?”

alma “Hm…I’ll have a classy drink. Any classy drink.”

jill “Here goes nothing…”

alma%20smiling “Yup, just what I needed. Thanks.”

alma “Say, Jill. What’s the worst that could happen if you don’t get your drinks right?”

jill “Well…people have the right to not give me money.”

jill “If they don’t pay for it, I don’t get my bonus.”

jill “No bonus means less money and no tips…which doesn’t help because I have to pay bills.”

alma “Oh, I see…”

jill “Do you have to make an effort to pay your bills?”

alma “Nope.”

jill “You have no idea how much I hate you right now.”

alma%20confused “Well, my job pays pretty well, and I’m not the kind to spend too much on things other than food and bills.”

alma%20confused “Maybe maintenance on my hands and new equipment, but aside from that…”

alma%20smiling “Oh, I know! If you have trouble with bills, why not live with me?”

alma%20smiling “We could be roommates!”

jill “Dunno.”

jill “Moving my stuff through the stairs because the elevator’s broken…”

jill “Having to move my liquor collection…”

jill “Nevermind the fact that my cat’s a shut-in that got VERY upset the one time I moved some furniture around.”

jill “The idea of moving just gives me a headache.”

alma%20embarrassed “You shouldn’t take things so seriously when I say them, you know?”

jill “I don’t, but I’ve thought about it before.”

jill “Now, I need some air. I’m gonna take my break. You wanna come?”

alma “Are you inviting me to the back of the bar? You should invite me to dinner first.”

jill “Every minute you waste making jokes is time taken from my break.”

alma%20smiling “Fine, let’s go.”

jill “Boss, I’m taking my break. Call me if anyone comes in.”


#15

jill “It’s kinda refreshing.”

alma “The hobo out there seems like a nice guy.”

jill “Billy Vine? Yeah, he’s a cool guy. Very respectful.”

jill “Apparently he got into some legal trouble and that’s why he’s like that.”

alma “Really?”

jill “He could also just be a very nice crackhead, though.”

alma “I have a cousin that lives like a hobo, actually.”

jill “Really?”

alma%20embarrassed “It’s a bit complicated though.”

alma%20embarrassed “Problem is, his family has tried to get him to live with them, but his pride won’t let him accept their help.”

alma%20embarrassed “He’d rather live on the streets for some reason.”

jill “You can’t tell with some people, sadly.”

jill “Why did he become a hobo in the first place?”

alma “Bad investments and debts. Bank evicted him from his house.”

jill “Oh…”

alma “It’s a serious problem because he has epileptic attacks but refuses to take his medication.”

alma “I just don’t get what’s up with him.”

:tw: Yet more Dorothy stuff. :tw:

dorothy “Hoooooneeeeeyyyyy. Some seeeerviiiiice heeeeeeeeere.”

jill “I’m here. Don’t scream.”

jill “Just talking.”

dorothy%20flirty “Is that what they call it these days?”

jill “…what do you want?”

dorothy%20flirty “Something soft, something sweet. No alcohol, please.”

jill “Wouldn’t it be the same if you just grabbed a soda from a vending machine?”

dorothy%20crying “But I like you-u-u-u-u-u-u.”

dorothy%20crying “Do you dislike my presence so much?”

I don’t know about Jill but I certainly do.

jill “…”

jill “Sweet and non-alcoholic, you say? Alright…”

dorothy%20flirty “See? You don’t get this kind of treatment from vending machines!”

dorothy “…unless you’re Lawrence.”

dorothy%20upset "But he has this weird idea that good service is the same as serving lukewarm cans of cola.”

jill “Lawrence?”

dorothy “A friend of mine. He’s a vending machine.”

jill “Oh…”

dorothy “Oh, but how impolite of me.”

alma “Hm?”

dorothy%20smiling “I’m lovely and my name’s Dorothy. Dorothy Haze. Nice to meet you!”

alma “Oh. I’m Alma. The pleasure’s mine.”

alma “Dorothy, you say?”

dorothy%20smiling “Eeyup, why?”

alma%20smiling “Nothing, I guess I’ve heard about you before.”

dorothy “Really? What kind of stuff! Tell me! Tell me!”

alma%20sideways%20look “Mostly about your…umm…pluckiness.”

dorothy “And here I was thinking it’s because I’m a sex worker.”

alma%20embarrassed “…so much for trying to be subtle.”

dorothy%20pout “Hey, I take pride in my job. Otherwise I wouldn’t be doing it.”

alma “Isn’t it dangerous?”

dorothy%20pout “I know how to take care of myself, thank you very much.”

dorothy “Where do you work, Alma?”

alma “I’m a hacker.”

dorothy “Really? A full-fledged hacker?”

dorothy “Not the kind that sees a computer logged into some account and says that’s hacking, right?”

alma “No, of course not.”

dorothy “I’ve always been curious about how being a hacker works.”

dorothy “Do you just start typing really fast while waiting for something to happen?”

alma%20embarrassed “No…”

alma “I can explain, but I don’t know if you’ll get it.”

dorothy “We don’t know until you try, right?”

dorothy “Last time I said that I had to jam the plastic replica of a halogen light bulb up a grown man’s ass.”

dorothy%20smiling “It was a success!”

almaahem Okay then…let me try to explain in general how it works.”

alma “Let’s say I have to retrieve information from a company’s database.”

dorothy “Alright!”

alma “First I do some research on the target. OS, servers, how the information is stored and all that.”

alma “There’ve been a couple occasions when I’ve had to go in blind, but they’re the exception rather than the rule.”

alma “First, I secure things from my side.”

alma “I start working behind proxies, website, and through other more vulnerable computers I find on the way.”

dorothy “Uh-huh…”

alma “After that I start testing the networks.”

alma “I go through the basic protocols, try known exploits as long as they don’t trigger any alarm.”

alma “Once I’ve tested the ground, the fun starts.”

alma “I go through all the security protocols and look to bypass them.”

alma “Sometimes I have to look deeper into the code for the password itself.”

dorothy “I-I see…”

alma “Then, when I’m finally in, I go and retrieve user privileges.”

alma “After that, I go and try to become a super-user and get what I need.”

dorothy “H-How…do you do that?”

alma “Well, there are a couple of ways…”

alma “I can use a premade program to hack into an already existing account.”

alma “I can use info someone already gave me…”

alma “But the usual way is using a buffer overflow.”

dorothy “B-Buff…”

dorothy “What happens next?! WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!”

alma “I…create a backdoor in the system before leaving and covering my tracks…”

dorothy “…I-I can’t…”

dorothy%20overload “I can’t handle it anymore!”

dorothy%20overload “Alma, hack me! Hack me like you’ve never hacked anything before!!”

alma%20confused “E-Eh?”

dorothy%20overload “Make my buffer overflow! Create a backdoor in me! Escalate your user privileges! Find flaws in my securityyyyy!!”

alma%20confused “…”

jill “…”

dorothy%20upset “S-Sorry…I got carried away.”

jill “No shit. What happened?”

dorothy “Have you seen those movies or books where a couple does something like paint a picture or cook…”

dorothy “…but they make it sound like they’re having sex instead?”

alma “Suggestive scenes, yeah.”

dorothy “Well, that whole thing was kinda like that for me.”

alma “Really?”

dorothy%20upset “I guess humans don’t really get it because their minds don’t upload to networks or anything…”

dorothy “But trust me, if you recorded yourself giving a REALLY detailed explanation in a really sexy voice…”

Pretty sure that’s just called ASMR.

dorothy “You’d make millions. Horny Lilim are an underexploited market.”

alma “I see…”

alma “Oh, looks like my ride’s here.”

jill “Your ride?”

alma%20smiling “Yup, my brother-in-law came to look for me.”

jill “Is it alright to ask that from him?”

alma%20smiling “It’s okay. I’ve known him since preschool. It just so happened that he got married to my sister.”

alma “Hey Dorothy, you need a ride?”

dorothy “Can you drop me by Third Street?”

alma “Sure, it’s on the way.”

dorothy%20smiling “Yay~ I’ll take your offer then.”

dorothy%20smiling “Bye, honey!”

jill “Take care.”

jill (“The street seems…noisy.”)

jill (“Oh, a client.”)

jill “Hello, welcome to Valhalla. What can I get-…”

virgilio “Truly, an oasis of spiritual drinks in the midst of the suburban desert.”

virgilio “A place where lost and corrupt souls can gather to forget their troubles for a while.”

virgilio “A nest where everyone from the most pathetic scum to the vilest trash-junkie can just sit to kill their insides.”

virgilio%20smiling “Truly, a real Persona Non Grata.”

virgilio%20smiling “That’s Latin for mysterious place, by the way. I’m so smart and philosophical.”

jill (“Alright! We got ourselves a Persona Non Grata here…”)

jill “What will you have then?”

virgilio “Seventeen.”

jill “E-Excuse me?”

virgilio “I said seventeen. Seven plus teen.”

jill “What does that mean?”

virgilio “What does it mean to YOU?”

jill “Just to be sure…17 is about the drink you want, right?”

virgilio “Only if you want it to be.”

jill “…”

jill “The total of ingredients here add up to 17.”

virgilio “Beautiful.”

jill “And what brings you here? Mister…”

virgilio “I’m Armandio. Virgilio Armandio.”

virgilio “See? I introduced myself using the Asian order because that’s a lot more polite.”

jill “Riiiiiiight.”

virgilio%20smiling “And I came here looking for an…otherworldly experience.”

virgilio%20smiling “I was passing by and saw this place is called Valhalla.”

virgilio “I wanna see the souls of resting warriors, the wounded spirits of noble souls.”

virgilio “The golden halls full of never-ending banquets, the lively Valkyries looking over them…”

jill “…we have some arcade machines on the corner.”

virgilio%20upset “No no no…you’re taking me too literally.”

virgilio%20upset “You see, I’m being poetic. I’m giving a mystical air to a mundane affair.”

virgilio “I wanted to see drunk people, I wanted to see waitresses and food.”

virgilio “I wanted to see the bar in all of its decadent glory.”

jill “Well, you’re out of luck. Today’s been quite the slow day.”

jill “Not that I’m very surprised, given how things have been going in the streets, though…”

virgilio%20upset “Humans are a nasty bunch, that much is true.”

virgilio%20upset “Making a ruckus, coming at each other…but that’s to be expected from the only mammal to kill its own.”

jill “I’m no zoologist, but I’m pretty sure that’s not the case.”

virgilio%20peeved “Oh yeah? Then give me an example, not-zoologist bartender.”

jill “Like I said, I don’t know exact details, I just know that isn’t right.”

jill “If memory serves right, once a lion takes over a pride, every cub born from another lion is killed, or something.”

virgilio%20peeved “Pffft…”Takes over a pride”, you can’t take over pride. Pride isn’t a tangible thing.”

virgilio%20upset “You need to stop making things up, not-zoologist bartender.”

jill “…”

virgilio “But going back on topic, do you know what the number seventeen means?”

jill “The atomic number of chlorine?”

virgilio “No, and Chloe is a name, not a number, you know?”

jill “The group where halogens are in the periodic table?”

virgilio “Stop making words up like “halogens”, “periodic”, and “table”.”

jill “Okay then. I give up.”

virgilio “Seventeen is us.”

jill “Eh?”

virgilio “Every human has seventeen pairs of chromosomes. That number is the whole foundation of you and me.”

jill “It’s…23.”

virgilio%20peeved “What is?”

jill “Humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Not 17.”

virgilio%20peeved “Well, they’re both primal numbers, so it’s the same idea.”

jill (“Primal…”)

jill “…”

jill “Do you want anything else?”

virgilio%20smiling “I’d like a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat.”

jill “Okay.”

Turns out the Simpsons reference was relevant after all.

virgilio%20peeved “Ha! You didn’t…wait, you did.”

jill “Enjoy~”

virgilio%20peeved “I will, I’ll drink this…umm…perfume.”

virgilio%20peeved “…”

jill “…you don’t really have to…”

virgilio%20peeved “Yeah, that’d be silly. You win this round, bartender.”

virgilio “Hey, bartender. Have you ever thought about death?”

jill “How?”

virgilio “What if we’re already dead? Both of us?”

jill “…what?”

virgilio “What tells you I even existed before I entered that door?”

virgilio “How can you assure me that this “reality” is real and we were not, in fact, in heaven or hell all along?”

virgilio “What if everything up to this point is just some stupid story written by an unemployed 20-something in his room?”

jill (“I could punch you to make you feel reality.”)

jill “I don’t care about any of that, actually.”

jill “This reality’s real for me and that’s all that matters.”

virgilio%20upset “Such a close-minded way of seeing things.”

virgilio%20upset “You need to…get away from the factual facts. Open your mind to things beyond your reach.”

virgilio%20upset “You’ll never reach enlightenment if you don’t start…”

virgilio “The Habanera has started! It means “twilight of the gods” in German, by the way.”

jill “Um…what?”

jill “Oh hell…”

jill “Let me take a look out the window.”

dana%20regular “Be careful.”

jill “…”

jill “I see lots of flashes in the distance. Most likely gunshots.”

dana%20peeved “Jill! Come here a sec.”

jill “What?”

newscaster “…about 5GB of reports proving that several White Knight squads have been used to cover…”

newscaster “Illegal actions were released to the public by an unknown anarchist group.”

newscaster “We’re receiving reports of several units going rogue…”

newscaster “…and using their weapons to hunt down anyone they find on the street.”

newscaster “Several counter-terrorism forces from neighboring cities have been dispatched in order to subdue…”

newscaster “…the crazed units after a plea from the vice-president.”

newscaster “We’re still waiting for a declaration from Zaibatsu Corp’s CEO on the subject, but until then…”

jill “Things are ugly in and outside of that bank, it seems.”

dana%20peeved “I’d recommend you stay here tonight. It’s too dangerous to even think about going outside.”

jill “What if they break in?”

dana%20regular “They won’t. Even then, the bar has quite the security system.”

dana%20regular “And I’ll be here protecting you, as an added bonus.”

jillsigh…yeah, I guess I’ll stay tonight.”

dana%20regular “I’ll get you the spare mattress I have. Do you mind sleeping in my office?”

jill “No, I guess it’s fine.”

dana%20regular “Good.”

dana%20regularsigh Let’s hope everything gets solved by the morning…”

dana%20regular “I’ll have Zankantou on hand, just in case.”

jill “The metal bat with nails?”

dana%20regular “There’s nothing it can’t bash!”

jill “Heh…”

jill (“Sei…Gil…Fore…”)

jill (“Hope everything’s better by tomorrow.”)


#16

jillyawn G’mornin’.”

dana%20regular “It’s 11 a.m., though.”

jill “That’s morning for me on the weekends…and any other day. How’s everything outside?”

dana%20regular “Still noisy, but forces have been deployed to take care of most of ‘em at least.”

jill “How so?”

dana%20regular “Zaibatsu Corp’s President is pleading with “anyone” to stop the rogue White Knights.”

dana%20regular “Neighboring city forces were deployed quickly and have subdued most of the opposition.”

dana%20regular “There have also been reports of White Knights just…freezing. Like they were petrified somehow.”

jill “You make it sound like some god suddenly decided to put everything in place.”

dana%20regular “Well I’m just glad there are no bullets flying in and out of the whole building.”

dana%20regular “Sure, there’re still some bad apples out and it’s not really safe yet, but it was worse last night.”

dana%20peeved “There also seems to be a civilian force lynching any White Knight they spot.”

dana%20peeved “So not only are the White Knights a problem, regular folks are on edge too.”

jill (“I wonder if Sei is okay…”)

jill “Should we be worried about Gil?”

dana%20regular “That kid knows how to take care of himself.”

dana%20regular “I’m sure that…whatever it is that he’s doing, he’s safe.”

dana%20regular “Dare I say even safer wherever he is than here.”

jill “I sure hope so.”

jill “Are we gonna work today?”

dana%20regular “Nah, things are too nasty right now. Let’s take the Sunday off.”

jill “Oh, alright.”

dana%20regular “Say, do you want me to help you get to your apartment?”

jill “Actually yeah, I’d appreciate that.”

dana%20regular “Okay then. Let me lock things up and we’ll go.”

dana%20regular “We’ll grab something for lunch on the way.”

jill “Sounds good.”

jill “Home sweet home. Thanks a lot.”

jill “Hey Boss, wanna hang out for a bit?”

dana%20regular “Hm?”

jill “Yeah, grab a Beer, chill out for a bit… Mostly to thank you for helping me.”

dana%20regular “Well, I don’t have much to do anyway. So yeah, sure.”

dana%20regular “I did tell you you should invite me over to your apartment sometime, didn’t I?”

jill “Oh, yeah. You did.”

dana%20regular “What worries me a bit is that Beer always leads to something else.”

jill “To more Beer?”

dana%20regular “I was gonna say, “To one of us going through the Spanish announcers’ table.””

dana%20regular “But I think we’re safe here.”

jill “Come on in, then.”

dana%20regular “Excuse me…”

dana%20regular “Sorry, I don’t smoke. Don’t mind me though, smoke if you wanna.”

dana%20regular “Say, how is the chilly weather treating you?”

jill “It gets cold from time to time but nothing the kotatsu and the heater can’t fix.”

jill “Oh right, Boss. You’re not very good with the cold, are you?”

dana%20regular “You know it…”

jill “You didn’t bring your jacket here either.”

dana%20regular “Yeah, I left it at home when going to the bar yesterday.”

dana%20regular “It wasn’t that cold and I didn’t expect to spend the night at the bar.”

jill “Would you like a sweater or something?”

dana%20regular “Oh, don’t mind me.”

jill “I insist. I have this hoodie from some time ago and it was too big for me.”

dana%20regular “Why buy it then?”

jill “It was dirt-cheap!”

dana%20regular “Right…”

dana%20regular “Wait…w-where did you get this one?”

jill “Dunno. Some flea market ages ago. Why?”

dana%20regular “Nothing. It’s just like one I had many years ago.”

jill “What happened to it?”

dana%20regular “Too much use, it just…ripped.”

jill “I see…”

jill “You can keep it if you want, I never use it anyway.”

dana%20regular “Um…we’ll see.”

jill “Come to think of it, how old are you, Boss?”

dana%20regular “I’m eternally seventeen!”

jill “Fair enough. Seventeen plus how much?”

dana%20regular “Seventeen plus I’d have to cut your tongue if you knew.”

jill “…alright.”

jill “Let me go change into something more comfortable.”

dana%20regular “Take your time.”

dana%20regular “…”

dana%20regular “…”

dana%20regular “Say Jill, there’s a blue-eyed mass of black fur glaring in my general direction.”

jill “Hm? Oh, that’s just Fore. He’s just wary of any new visitors. Cats will be cats, I guess.”

jill “He’ll warm up quickly though. Just give him time.”

dana%20regular “He’s unusual-looking. Blue eyes on a black cat. They usually have green.”

jill “Yeah, weird, huh?”

jill “At first I thought they were like that because he was small but they never changed.”

dana%20regular “Back at home we had a bear.”

jill “Ah, I se-…what?”

dana%20regular “Good ol’ Bosco. He kept intruders away better than any dog.”

jill “R-Right…”

jill “What? Me taking such a sappy pic?”

dana%20regular “No, a framed picture on vintage paper. It’s so…vintage.”

dana%20regular “Who are these?”

jill “That’s…um…”

jill “The one on the right is Lenore, my…ex-girlfriend. The one on the left is Gabrielle, her sister.”

dana%20regular “Huh. Is this pic recent or…?”

jill “Actually, that one’s from 3-4 years ago.”

dana%20regular “…”

dana%20regular “You look exactly the same.”

jill “I’m only 27. What did you expect? That’s why they say kids are the ones that get old.”

dana%20regular “I thought it was recent because you don’t usually see people displaying pictures of their exes so openly.”

dana%20regular “…let alone a printed and framed one.”

dana%20regular “Did you two break up on good terms, then? You even hesitated a bit when calling her your ex.”

jillsigh Let’s just say that everything ended with both of us saying mean things.”

jill “…and me storming out of her house, breaking a couple of things on the way out.”

jill “We never broke up formally…and I guess I still have feelings for her.”

jill “I just…went away, haven’t said a word since.”

dana%20regular “Really? It’s…hard to picture you doing such a thing. And you look so happy in the pic.”

dana%20regular “Why have her pic out like this then?”

jill “I just couldn’t get my mind off something that Alma said to me.”

jill “About missing having the warmth of someone else pressed against your side…”

jill “Using them as a pillow, mixing your perfume with theirs.”

jill “Putting your head in their chest, listening to their breathing as they pet your head.”

jill “Dozing off, knowing they’re there, watching you. Protecting you…”

jill “I don’t know. I felt nostalgic…then miserable.”

jill “…”

dana%20regular “…”

jill “I’ve been meaning to apologize, but I feel like it’s too late now.”

jill “Whenever I go out, there’s this fear in the back of my head that I’ll meet her in the street.”

jill “I just don’t know if I could face her again. Let alone talk to her.”

jill “…I’d be a mess.”

dana%20regular “It’s never too late to apologize, Jill.”

jill “Maybe.”

jill “…!”

dana%20regular “Looks like an enve-…”

jill “It’s nothing! NOTHING! Now, please give that to me.”

dana%20regular “I saw nothing, don’t worry.”

jill “…”

jill “A-Anyway… Let’s grab some Beers!”

dana%20regular “Guide me.”

jill “Well, the BTC gives me discounts and a point card I can use every time I buy their alcohol.”

jill “With that, Beer is actually the cheapest drink I can get.”

dana%20regular “Is there any difference between the drinks at the bar and these?”

jill “The drinks at the bar are more addictive, flavorful and also stronger than the ones they sell in stores.”

jill “And besides, the one in the bar is more of a Double IPA. This one is more of a Pilsner.”

dana%20regular “In English, please.”

jill “This one’s lighter in color and lighter in flavor.”

dana%20regular “Dunno, it doesn’t taste like a lighter to me.”

jillpffffft

dana%20regular “Is this one made with that…um…what was the name of the base liquid you use at the bar again?”

jill “Nutriogenic Dichometrical Lydogenol, or NDL.”

dana%20regular “It was a supplement or something, right?”

jill “It was an experimental fluid they created to replace water when the Maiden Kiss polluted water supplies.”

jill “The effects of pollution turned out to be temporary, so NDL never went into mass production.”

jill “But the BTC still commissioned it for use in bars.”

dana%20regular “And this one is made with it?”

jill “Let’s see…yup, here it is, near the end: NDL and corn starch.”

dana%20regular “Corn starch?”

jill “It serves as a stabilizer, if I remember correctly. They need it for packaged drinks.”

dana%20regular “I see. And I just realized something.”

jill “What?”

dana%20regular “You’re a nerd, Jill.”

jill “Guilty as charged.”

jill “I still have that bottle of rum somewhere around. Do you want some of it?”

dana%20regular “Will you have some too?”

jill “Not really, no.”

dana%20regular “Then leave it like that. I’m not letting you drink Beer alone. That’s not how drinking with friends works.”

Also, you should never mix your drinks.

jill “Do you consider me a friend then, Boss?”

dana%20regular “Why wouldn’t I?”

jill “Dunno, what with being my boss and all. I was never too sure.”

dana%20regular “Well, in case you had any doubts: Yes, I consider you one of my best friends.”

dana%20regular “Besides, you and Gil are always so diligent and responsible that I’m boss in name only anyway.”

jill “That’s good to know.”

dana%20regular “On a side note, it surprises me you kept that poster of me in your room.”

dana%20regular “And even more that you hung it in plain sight.”

dana%20regular “When I gave it to you, it was more or less a joke, you know?”

jill “Does it make you uncomfortable?”

dana%20regular “If it doesn’t make you uncomfortable, why would it make ME uncomfortable? It’s my own face.”

dana%20regular “I’m still wondering why you did it though.”

jill “Aside from filling an empty spot in the wall, I don’t really know. I thought it was funny too.”

jill “I guess it’s like if someone gave you…dunno.”

jill “A dildo-shaped trophy or something and you had it there as a conversation starter.”

jill “Although no one comes here anyways, so it’s kinda pointless.”

dana%20regular “What? No steamy nights of passion?”

jill “Not since…a year ago I think. And I’d rather not talk about what happened then.”

dana%20regular “Did someone hurt you? Because if they did, I can go dish out the pain.”

jill “No, nothing of the sort. A different kind of mess.”

jill “Uncomfortable mess. A ‘not being able to have sex for reasons’ mess.”

jill “Glad to know you have my back though.”

dana%20regular “That’s what friends are for.”

dana%20regular “Wait, you talk about the poster and compare it to having a dildo-shaped trophy…”

dana%20regular “Did you just call me Dildo Face?”

jill “That’s what friends are for.”

dana%20regular “…”

dana%20regular “Hey, Jill. Where did you get that black Fore ball?”

jill “Well, as with any black cat or house cat in general, he’s actually a stray.”

jill “I found him in the alleys near the building. Not long after I moved here, I think.”

dana%20regular “Ah, I see.”

jill “It was quite the sight though. He was cornered by all these dogs but they were keeping their distance.”

jill “He was holding his ground, hissing and scratching as much as he could.”

jill “There was a fried chicken bucket nearby that had some rain water in it, so I threw the water over the dogs.”

jill “They ran and I figured the cat’s mom would be nearby, so I left.”

jill “Then I noticed people looking in my direction as I walked. Turns out the little shit started following me.”

dana%20regular “So you brought it home.”

jill “At first, I wanted to see if I could find him a new home, but…”

jill “Having him welcome me whenever I came back was just too much for my heart, so he ended up staying.”

dana%20regular “It was destiny, girl.”

jill “When he came, he was so cute though. Not like the fat mass that’s sleeping on the table.”

“Fore”: “Hey, you’re not a spring chicken yourself, you know.”

dana%20regular “…”

jill “…”

dana%20regular “Oho…”

jill “…shit, I actually did that in front of someone else.”

dana%20regular “Ohohohoho…”

jill “A-Anyway…”

dana%20regular “Don’t “anyway” me, do you normally speak for your cat like that?”

jill “…maybe.”

jillsigh I wonder if Gil’s alright.”

dana%20regular “You worried about him?”

jill “You make it sound like I’m some emotionless robot.”

dana%20regular “You can be hard to read.”

dana%20regular “I wouldn’t worry about Gil so much though. There’s three things I know for certain about him.”

dana%20regular “First: He can take care of himself.”

dana%20regular “Second, you can sincerely trust him.”

jill “And third?”

dana%20regular “He absolutely hates bell pepper.”

jill “He does?”

dana%20regular “I’ve seen him even reject food that has been in contact with it.”

jill “Man, what a baby…unless he’s allergic or something.”

dana%20regular “He’s not.”

jill “Man, what a baby.”

jill “How did you meet such a guy?”

dana%20regular “He…showed up in the door of a bar.”

jill “He…what?”

dana%20regular “Well, it was shortly after the whole incident with Robert and the levitation potion.”

jill (“Right…”levitation potion”.”)

dana%20regular “It was a slow day and he just…showed up at the bar.”

dana%20regular “I offered him a drink, but he said he didn’t have money on him.”

dana%20regular “I…couldn’t leave him alone, so I pretty much gave the drinks for free.”

dana%20regular “And after a couple, he broke down crying.”

jill “He…huh?”

dana%20regular “I don’t know what he did, but he was really, REALLY regretting it.”

dana%20regular “He wanted a second chance or whatever and I told him if he could wash himself I’d find him a job.”

dana%20regular “And I’ll be damned, he looked totally different the next day.”

jill “Damn…”

dana%20regular “I tried and failed to find out anything about him.”

dana%20regular “So I decided to take him at face value. I’d judge him from what he did as an employee.”

dana%20regular “And aside from the occasional sudden escapade, he’s been as loyal as loyal gets.”

dana%20regular “I return the favor in kind, covering his ass from time to time…sometimes literally.”

jill “What surprises me is that you took him in so easily.”

dana%20regular “I can take care of myself and I always kept an eye on him.”

dana%20regular “And besides, after the whole Robert thing I couldn’t ignore someone that desperate so easily…”

jill “I see…”

dana%20regular “You’ve made the bar more lively yourself, you know?”

jill “How so?”

dana%20regular “Well, with the regulars you’ve earned of course.”

dana%20regular “Like that blonde titty hacker. I can’t remember her name.”

Blonde titty hacker is basically her entire character.

jill “Alma?”

dana%20regular “I was gonna say Armitage.”

jill “She’s a nice girl, you know?”

dana%20regular “I don’t think she’s young enough to be called a “girl”.”

jill “Says the “Girl Who’s Eternally Seventeen.””

jill “In any case, she’s really lovely.”

jill “When you hear her speak of her family, she speaks with such love. Her face just brightens up.”

Are we talking about the same character here?

jill “It makes me kind of jealous that she has such a close relationship with them, to be honest.”

dana%20regular “You have bad relations with your family?”

jill “Not bad, but I’m not exactly close to anyone aside from my mom, dad and aunt.”

jill “But back to Alma, I’m really hoping she finds a nice guy to settle with.”

jill “I mean, she’s so bent into finding one, I can’t help but want her to succeed.”

dana%20regular “Ah, I see.”

dana%20regular “There’s also that sex worker robot girl.”

jill “Ah, Dorothy.”

dana%20regular “She intrigues me, though. I’ve seen lots of sex workers over the years, and she seems pretty giddy.”

dana%20regular “It’s not that she likes her job, but rather that she takes to it with such childish excitement.”

jill “I’ve kinda noticed that too. But then again, Lilim can be weird.”

dana%20regular “You think?”

jill “Lilim operate in some really foreign logic.”

jill “I mean, they don’t really share our fear of mortality.”

jill “Even if their bodies are destroyed, their minds are already backed up in the collective source.”

jill “If they lose an arm, they can reattach it or replace it.”

jill “Depending on the circumstances, they might not even feel pain at all.”

jill “It’s not like they haven’t attained human-like emotions like fear or love, but they are…different.”

jill “Like a different culture, if you must.”

dana%20regular “Hmm…I didn’t see it that way.”

jill “Aside from that, Dorothy is a DFC-72. It’s a “Social Interactions” model or something.”

jill “Lilim get positive reinforcement straight from their bodies if they’re fulfilling their main purpose, so…”

jill “I’m guessing she gets a built-in push whenever she’s in a “meaningful” or challenging social interaction.”

dana%20regular “Interesting.”

dana%20regular “The name “Lilim” is a bit weird though.”

jill “It is?”

dana%20regular “You’d expect them to be called “Bots” or “Dolls”, but “Lilim” doesn’t convey the image of automatons.”

jill “Just a tip. “Bots” and “Dolls” are considered slurs by them.”
:tw: Ableist slur coming up. :tw:

jill “”Bot” is akin to calling them retarded and “Doll” is like calling them fake.”

dana%20regular “Thanks for the advice.”

dana%20regular “That aside, do you know why they’re called Lilim?”

jill “As far as I know, because they all come from a bigger AI called Lilith.”

jill “And Lilim are Lilith’s offspring in Jewish folklore.”

dana%20regular “Ooooooh, cool.”

dana%20regular “Hey, speaking of names, why don’t you like being called by your full name?”

jill “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

dana%20regular “Don’t act stupid.”

dana%20regular “Back when you first transferred, I called you Julianne and you almost tore me a new one with your glare.”

jill “…”

dana%20regular “See? Like that.”

jill “It’s no big secret, but it’s one of those things that feels silly when you say it out loud.”

dana%20regular “Try me.”

jill “Well…did you ever watch “Model Warrior Julianne”?”

dana%20regular “Not all of it, but my little sister’s a big fan of the reruns.”

jill “Back when I was in elementary school I was a HUGE fan of the show.”

jill “I had everything. From the dolls to the costumes to the lunch boxes.”

jill “It didn’t help that it was one of those shows that got strapped literally everywhere.”

dana%20regular “I saw a couple of episodes once. They were really nice!”

jill “It was beyond nice! The show’s about a model who can transform into an armor-clad magic knight.”

jill “She fights demons born from greed and vanity.”

jill “How the job presented Jules hating her job because it invited enemies.”

jill “And yet still found solace in trying to be a role model…”

jill “Hell, the main character wasn’t a kid. Julianne was an adult that became younger when transformed.”

jill “I’d say it was a pretty ambitious kids show.”

Truly the Steven Universe of its time.

jill “Even by today’s standards!”

jill “Just the fact that her enemies were literally issues dealing with beauty standards of body image…”

jill “Challenging as fuck.”

dana%20regular “Whoa, you got excited there.”

jill “And that is the problem. Back then I was obsessed with Jules.”

jill “I sang the songs, dressed like her. I could even recite full chapters.”

dana%20regular “Something tells me you still can.”

jill “…that’s beside the point.”

jill “It was nice while I was in elementary school, but then I went to middle school…”

jill “And what a surprise, tweens are jackasses.”

jill “They went out of their way to tease me about things I did back then.”

jill “I don’t hold it against Jules. I always hold my grudge against those fuckjobs.”

dana%20regular “Sounds rough.”

jill “You know how most girls worry about their thighs at that age?”

jill “I worried about jerkasses singing the theme tune of the show mocking me.”

jill “Anyways, everytime someone calls me Julianne or Jules, I instinctively react negatively.”

jill “Pavlov would be proud of me.”

jill “I never talk about it because I find the whole thing too silly in retrospect.”

dana%20regular “And yet, it affects you even today. There’s nothing wrong with it though.”

dana%20regular “It’s actually kinda reasonable.”

jill “I sure hope so.”

jill “Come to think of it. What kind of kid were you, Boss?”

dana%20regular “When I was a toddler, I was the kind to always fight with kids bigger than me.”

dana%20regular “Then puberty happened and I became the Merriam-Webster definition of “shallow jerkwad”.”

dana%20regular “Around the time I turned 16, I realized what an idiot I was and went on to become who I am today.”

dana%20regular “And the less I talk about those years from 12 to 15, the better.”

jill “Fair enough.”

dana%20regular “So Jill, what kind of guy was your grandpa?”

jill “He was rough around the edges. The kind of guy that means well even if he says otherwise.”

jill “He seemed to have a soft spot for me, though.”

jill “One moment, he was congratulating my dad by berating him a little…”

jill “…and the next, he was playing with me.”

jill “My dad worked a lot and my mom was always travelling, so I spent most of my childhood with him.”

dana%20regular “Can I ask how he died?”

jill “Out of old age. My dad says his last words were something like…”

jill “”Fucking scientists. Created talking mannequins, but they still can’t let you upload your brain…””

jill “Why the question?”

dana%20regular “I’m curious about you. Really curious.”

dana%20regular “I just realized that even though we see each other almost every day, I know very little about you.”

jill “Oh.”

dana%20regular “From what you tell me though, seems your grandpa’s personality rubbed off on you a bit.”

jill “I’ve heard that one since I was a kid, actually.”

jill “You know, Boss, I’m a bit curious about your circle of friends. What kind of people do you have in it?”

dana%20regular “Keep in mind, you’re included in this circle too, so any insults you hurl will apply right back to you.”

dana%20regular “Anyways. I have this friend I’ve known for a long time. A red-headed, glasses-wearing gun-nut called Iris.”

jill “The one you called for the helmet thing?”

dana%20regular “That one.”

dana%20regular “She’s managing a BTC bar in Panama right now, if I remember correctly…”

jill “She’s managing a bar too?”

dana%20regular “I got the idea from her, actually.”

jill “Oh.”

dana%20regular “It’s called N1-RV Ann-A, and if you thought this city was dangerous…”

dana%20regular “You should see the people she has to deal with there.”

Sounds like a sequel hook to me.

dana%20regular “Piracy ain’t nothing to fuck with.”

jill “”Ann” means it’s an annex to another business. What else does she do there?”

dana%20regular “I think the bar was originally her hotel’s bar.”

dana%20regular “She moved the bar to its own building elsewhere and opened N1-RV Ann-B in the hotel instead.”

jill “Weird decision.”

dana%20regular “I believe she said she wanted a place “away from the noisy rich tourists that go to the hotel.””

dana%20regular “So that bar is her woman cave.”

jill (“Woman cave…”)

dana%20regular “That aside, let’s see…friends, friends…”

dana%20regular “I guess there’s also my little sister, but that’s a given.”

dana%20regular “Oh! There’s also my old partner from when I was with the Neo-San Francisco police force.”

dana%20regular “Good ol’ Lexi. Should give her a call sometime.”

2064: Read Only memories is available on your PC, Mac, Linux, Playstation 4, Playstation Vita, Android and iOS.

jill “Wait, you were in the what?!”

dana%20regular “I’ve done lots of things, Jill.”

dana%20regular “I spent a short time collaborating with the police force. I’ve been a wrestler, an MMA fighter…”

dana%20regular “Chimney cleaner, lumberjack, pet shop attendant, corporate mascot…”

…boxer, mascot, astronaut, imitation Krusty, baby proofer, trucker, hippie, plow driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, carnie, mayor, grifter, bodyguard for the mayor, country western manager, garbage commissioner, mountain climber, farmer, inventor, Smithers, Poochie, celebrity assistant, power plant worker, fortune cookie writer, beer baron, Kwik-E-Mart clerk, homophobe, and missionary.

jill “Corporate what?!”

dana%20regular “I still see my face on some websites from time to time.”

dana%20regular “Anyways, aside from you, Gil, my sis, Iris and Lexi…hm…”

dana%20regular “I guess there’re a lot of people that don’t want to see me in harm’s way.”

dana%20regular “…mostly because they’re the ones that want to hurt me.”

dana%20regular “What about you?”

jill “I guess I have acquaintances here and there.”

jill “Back at home and college, I went out a lot.”

jill “But it felt more like going out was the pleasure, rather than the people involved.”

jill “Aside from you and Gil, my closest friend since moving here is Alma…oh, and Dorothy.”

jill “I mean, sure. There’s always Fore, but that cat’s a hermit that refuses to go out.”

jill “And you know…he’s a cat.”

dana%20regular “Hey, a cat’s fine too, you know?”

jill “Hey Boss…what will you do when the bar closes?”

dana%20regular “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll take a friend’s offer of working with her.”

dana%20regular “I was also thinking about going back home and helping with things there.”

dana%20regular “Or maybe going travelling for a while.”

jill “I see…”

dana%20regular “Oh, but don’t worry! Bureaucracy’s slow as fuck, so they won’t close the bar for quite a while.”

dana%20regular “Better enjoy being there while you can.”

jill “Yeah, maybe…”

jill “Will you be visiting me in whatever bar I end up working in?”

dana%20regular “I have a bone to pick with the guy who supervises the bar I’m planning to get you transferred to.”

dana%20regular “I go there even though I virtually have no reason to.”

dana%20regular “With you there, I’d have something PLEASANT to look forward to.”

jill “Um…you’re sending me to someone you have problems with?”

dana%20regular “If I have to trust another bar owner, it’s certainly him.”

dana%20regular “He’s actually a pleasant boss from what I’ve seen.”

dana%20regular “The fact that he and I have the tendency to go at each other’s throats is an unrelated matter.”

jill “I’ll trust you on that one then.”

dana%20regular “Don’t worry. Maybe I can get you a bracelet made out of wood pieces from the bar’s counter or something.”

jill “Um…we’ll see.”

dana%20regular “Hey, I’ll tell you what.”

dana%20regular “When the bar closes, let’s both take a vacation. Go on a trip! That’ll clear your mind a bit.”

jill “Yeah, maybe.”


#17

So, to be honest, I think this LP could stand to have shorter updates with more color commentary. In addition to its chronic inability to handle sensitive topics in a tasteful manner, this game is fucking boring. This is like if Seinfeld and Cheers had a baby and duct-taped it to some broken computers.

(And before you say “funny you should mention Seinfeld”…no it isn’t)


#18

To be entirely honest I was worried about having color commentary at all, so this is a helpful bit of advice, thank you! Regarding the updates, I’m not so sure how to divide them better? The game has a very, very rigid structure so I have no clue how I would make the updates shorter.


#19

I am, no joke, skipping through every update just looking for the italics that indicate something at least nominally of substance is being said, and I wouldn’t blame any of the people who AREN’T weighing in for doing the same, if indeed I’m not the only person paying even a shred of attention to this LP.

As for length, it seems like you’re just updating entire game-days at a time, split into two posts at the point where Jill takes her break. Even half of one day is kind of a lot of material to try and care about when most of the characters can’t clear the bar of likability set by a creature who requires a trigger warning just for existing. Part of what makes the game so boring is that you literally can’t stop except at certain, very far apart, points. I would honestly just cut updates off at arbitrary points that feel like you’ve hit a decent length and left behind a coherent thought.


#20

Noted! Once again, thank you for the advice and criticism. Honestly shorter updates with more commentary would probably easier not just for anyone reading this but for me too so idk why I didn’t think about it sooner. You can expect the next update to be a far lighter read.