Where At Least One Person Knows Your Name - Let's Play VA-11 HALL-A!

kollontai420 · April 27, 2018, 10:14pm

✩Kira✩ Miki’s blog rarely updates, so we won’t be checking on it much.

In the last thread: Anon hates fun.

;_; I don’t want fights…

You people are so immature, what’s wrong with being a guy in danger/u/?

why do you care if we assume you’re a girl anyway? fuck off

dudes

in danger/u/

pfft hahaha

Let’s go back to the concert please!

207X and you stupid idiots still care about petty shit like this.

HE started everything by mentioning he is a guy.

sigh

A-Anyway, we should gather somewhere to take the train to the stadium together!

Not a bad idea! we can make an official danger/u/ meetup!

danger/u/ meetup

Like I’d want to be seen with a bunch of ugly girls in front of my friends.

OK, next thread I’m going to moderate the fuck out of this, no more shitposting!

This thread is closed.

In the last thread: NO SHITPOSTING ALLOWED!

Did that one anon left?

I think so.

I never left, I was just lurking to not cause any trouble…

Don’t worry, we’re here for you ^^

Any ideas for the great revelation? Do you know if you like her yet?

Look, I just don’t want to ruin our friendship…we know each other since we were very young.

So she’s your childhood friend?! IT’S LIKE ONE OF MY JAPANESE ANIMES!

Y-Yeah…

OK this is what you have to do: When Miki ends singing Lovers in Paradise…You kiss her!

K-K-KISS!?!?!

OF COURSE! just try to imagine how magical that moment would be, with the fireworks and the epic guitar solo…

I…I will think about it…

This thread is closed

:^)

Stop forcing Alice.

So we hate Alice now? GOOD

It’s just that we haven’t heard any news yet. Remember that time they posted here to announce an attack?

LOL yeah, and I remember the Cyber Crime unit up the admin’s ass.

DeCEMBeR 17 W1LLC0ME THe SeC0ND ReTR1BUT10N - B1RTHDAY 1S C0M1NG!!!

that font

oh boy

spooky font

IT’S HAPPENING!!!

HAHA TIME FOR DESPAIR

OH SHIT FUCK

tfw i just got out of jail

I’M NOT GOING BACK, DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE WITH IP’S ON THE WRONG THREAD?

HI CYBER CRIME UNIT, I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I’M NOT ALICE BUT IN FACT YOUR MOM.

why you gals so nervous, the only one getting fucked is the admin

##ADMIN:FERFER## fuck off alice, not this shit again

This thread is closed

A powerful 8.6 magnitude tremor has struck the area of Neo-San Francisco. Fortunately, modern science was able to identify the quake almost an hour in advance, providing the city plenty of time to prepare for the worst.

During a conference call, Glitch City’s Prime Minister QUINCY congratulated the rescue teams at Neo SF for its rapid response in the wake of the warning.

”They’re an example to follow, and we’re certainly looking forward to implement these advancements in earthquake prediction here in our beautiful city.

Glitch City is not currently known to be a seismic zone.

After the numerous protests held around the city, which are caused by an ongoing economic and safety crisis, Glitch City’s Prime Minister QUINCY has made it clear that if the rioters take another civilian life, he’ll personally write a law to ban all kinds of public manifestations.

”This simply can’t go on,” QUINCY told AE during a call. “They only want to destroy public property. They’re actively sabotaging our efforts to recover our beautiful city, and I’ve decided that if they cause another civilian casualty, I’ll do everything in my power to ban protests. The White Knights will have full authorization to use maximum force.”

QUINCY will be running for a second term next year.

Who is Alice_Rabbit? Judging by the complexity of the methods they’ve used to breach all kinds of protected software, some are starting to think this is in fact a group and not a single individual.

So, is Alice_Rabbit a group after all?

Not the first time this would be a thing.

More than half a century ago, a group of notorious hackers rose to prominence, and they called themselves AnonHahAHhah theY wErEnt EvEn a ThrEaT to rEaL protEctEd daTa $#%# ////// dEcEmbEr 17 ////////// #$%#$

It’s been very hectic as of late, so I’d like to share with you what I do to relax!

Sitting on rooftops: I’m on the road most of the time, so I don’t have a specific rooftop to relax on!

I like to feel the breeze and see a beautiful vista. It makes me think about life~

Tea cocktails: Oh this is something I can’t live without. Mixing tea with vodka, rum, gin, lime, you name any tasty and natural combination and I’ll be all over it!

I’m very careful about getting tipsy before a show though, I wouldn’t like to ruin your evening

Brief aside: there’s an emoji here, but I simply couldn’t recreate it.

Hi everyone! are you ready for the dome concert? I sure am!

I perform in a rather large number of concerts every year, and even then I can’t help but be excited every time I have one around the corner.

And it’s all thanks to you! Thanks to your energy and love surrounding my life in every aspect.

I’m going to perform all of your favorite songs, so please be excited!

Just one a little request~~ please don’t wait for me outside the stadium, or my bodyguards will get angry at you. I wouldn’t like to see you hurt so please don’t do it!

OOOH I love this place!

So much energy, so much love, I could feel the optimism in the air!!

Even after all the struggles, you still came to see me and I got to experience the loudest and craziest crowd in my whole career. I’m beyond speechless.

That said, I’m excited to announce that we’ll have a second date in the city! It wasn’t easy to set up, but I’m so happy my agency approved it. This was by far our biggest show and I can’t wait to experience it again.

See you soon my darlings.

Love, Miki.

Let’s buy Your Love Is A Drug.

gil%20surprised : “Alma?”

alma “Ah, Leonidas.”

gil%20exasperated “Gillian.”

alma “Marcelo.”

jill “I stumbled across her on my way in and asked her if she wanted to tag along.”

alma “Hope you don’t mind.”

gil “Sure. Make yourself at home.”

jill “Where’s Boss? She didn’t put the helmet on again, did she?”

gil “She went out for a bit. I don’t know what for, but she’ll be back.”

jill “Alma, make yourself comfortable while I prepare.”

alma “Right, thanks.”

jill “Time to mix drinks and change lives.”

jill “Oh, just something they made me say back in Instruction. It kind of stuck.”

alma “Huh…”

alma “I went to a school that made us stand up with our hands on our backs when someone came in.”

alma “That habit didn’t rub off until high school or so.”

jill “Yeah, it’s kinda like that.”

jill “Oh yeah, look at this.”

alma “A glass with a signature?”

alma “To Ji…Jiii…um…”

alma%20confused “I’ll assume it’s either an autograph or an impromptu medicine recipe.”

jill “That ✩Kira✩ Miki girl came here yesterday before her concert, actually.”

alma “Oh, yeah. Now I see her name here.”

jill “You don’t seem very surprised.”

alma%20smiling “I like b-LINK more, actually.”

jill “The stoic-looking duo, right?”

alma “Yup, those.”

Alma, tired: “sigh Seems you had a better day than mine yesterday. I had to break up with Damian.”

jill “I see. Want a drink?”

alma%20concerned “You…don’t seem very surprised.”

jill “Alma, we’ve known each other for…what? A few months now?”

jill “I’d be interested if those “relationships” of yours went further than a week or two.”

jill “You say you broke up, but there’s usually not enough time to foster something to break.”

jill “It’s more like…”The guy wasn’t what I wanted so I stopped flirting.””

alma%20sideways%20look “…you could pretend to be more interested, you know?”

jill “Like my mom says: “If I don’t buy it, it’s because I know the product.””

alma “…”

alma “Speaking of buying, do you want a frame?”

jill “A frame?”

alma%20amused “Yeah, for all these pics you have of your Boss. The ones filling your phone’s memory.”

alma%20amused “Some seem sneakily taken at that.”

gil “Is that true?”

jill “What do you care?”

jill “How the hell did you find that out?”

gil “So it IS true!”

jill “Shut up!”

alma%20smiling “I’m a hacker, remember? You shouldn’t piss off a hacker.”

alma “Aw, I really like this one of her sleeping in her office. I think I’ll copy it.”

Because stalking someone is cute and romantic.

jill “You…!”

alma “Hey, can you make me a Bad Touch before we keep arguing?”

jill “pfft …Sure.”

alma “Who gives these drinks their silly names?”

jill “Usually the one who registers it.”

jill “Some people have quite the silly sense of humor.”

alma “Like that girl who keeps laughing over this particular drink’s name?”

jill “Yeah, yeah…”

jill “ahem So. Who’s Damian again?”

alma “The one with the nice car.”

alma “Sure, he’s also the manager at the bank, but that car was what caught my eye.”

jill “And what was wrong with him?”

alma “Turns out he was a LARPer.”

jill “LARP?”

alma “Live Action Role Playing.”

jill “Sounds more like the nickname of some very heavy-handed writer. Or a military organization.”

jill “What did he roleplay as?”

alma “Have you heard of the Woodstock fairs?”

jill “Those events where people barely dress, stink, roll in the mud, and fuck in the open?”

alma%20embarrassed “Those are hippies, yeah.”

alma%20embarrassed “He frequents those and…it’s something I’d rather not deal with. At all.”

alma%20embarrassed “If I stayed with him, I’d eventually have to.”

alma%20sideways%20look “I mean, I need to support my partner in what he does, but if it’s something like that…”

jill “You see? That’s the problem right there.”

jill “You say breaking up like you had something formal, but most of the time you’re still getting to know him.”

jill “Think about it. Have you ended your longest lasting relationships for things like those?”

alma%20concerned “Okay, sorry for not using the right word or whatever. But I’m still sorely disappointed.”

alma%20concerned “And at least I’m trying to get some action. When was the last time you spend the night with someone else?”

jill “Last night.”

alma%20embarrassed “Your cat doesn’t count.”

jill “A year ago. It was messy.”

alma%20embarrassed “See?”

alma%20embarrassed “I mean, I have no idea how you deal with that.”

alma “If I were you, I would’ve pushed fuckboy over there into a closet ages ago.”

gil “F-Fuckboy?”

jill “People have different needs and priorities.”

alma “Yes, but don’t you miss having the warmth of someone else at your side?”

alma%20smiling “Using them as a pillow, mixing your perfume with theirs.”

alma%20smiling “Putting your head on their chest, listening to them breathe as they pet your head.”

alma “Dozing off knowing they’re there, watching you. Protecting you…”

jill “…”

alma%20upset “Jill?”

jill “…”

jill “Anything I can make you to shut up and drink?”

alma “I’ll have you know that my uncle Juan taught me ventriloquism when I was 12.”

alma “Drinking won’t stop me from talking…or making tasteless puns for aunt Rosa.”

alma “Still, get me something weird, would you?”

jill (“Huh, ventriloquism.”)

jill “Weird? A weird drink?”

alma “Yeah, something different, experimental, uncommon…”

jill “Let’s see…”

alma “Yeah, this fits the bill.”

jill “It’s a promotional drink made to commemorate a movie.”

jill “Read, “they leapt at the chance to sell drinks that would be unmarketable otherwise”.”

alma “Oh…”

jill “You know, your orders are weird today.”

alma “They are?”

jill “Yeah, usually the first thing you ask for is a Brandtini. And then something like a Cobalt Velvet or something similar.”

alma “Well, I sometimes feel like I need something different, you know?”

jill “Something tells me part of the reason you left this Damian is because he was too deep into routine.”

alma%20embarrassed “…maybe.”

jill “Hey, speaking of routines…”

jill “As a hacker, what’s your opinion on the whole Alice_Rabbit thing?”

Alma, concerned; “…”

jill “That’s the silence of somebody who just heard something stupid.”

jill “Stupid enough to warrant the speech they’ve prepared just for occasions like this.”

alma%20concerned “As always, very perceptive of you.”

alma%20concerned “You know, decades ago, there was this group of people that hacked simple sites with an “agenda”.”

alma%20embarrassed “Can’t remember what they used to call themselves. I just remember that it was just petty vandalism.”

alma “Anyway, everyone that participated started using the same name.”

alma “They wanted to create this…anonymous anarchists identity.”

alma “The whole Alice_Rabbit thing is the logical conclusion of that.”

alma “It’s what happens when that idea reaches its breaking point and goes mainstream.”

alma “It is no longer a group, but an individual.”

alma “An untouchable entity watching from the shadows, monitoring and judging everything anyone does…”

alma “Observing, tolerating no one but itself…”

alma%20embarrassed “A lot of bullshit for what’s essentially a pet the press made up.”

alma%20embarrassed “The antithesis of your usual bogeyman, if you must.”

jill “So, you don’t think such a person exists?”

alma “Don’t know, don’t care.”

alma “I mean, we HAVE seen the actions of such an entity.”

alma “But it might be anything. An individual, a group, an AI…”

alma “That’s not taking into account all the copycats and pranksters using the name.”

alma “So, Alice_Rabbit is a thing that exists, but it’s also really muddled overall.”

alma%20sideways%20look “There’s something else that worries me, though.”

alma%20sideways%20look “That kind of story always catches the attention of kids and such.”

alma%20sideways%20look “They start trying to hack stuff without knowing the risks or consequences.”

alma%20sideways%20look “Imagine if, suddenly, a group of tweens broke into this bar and started asking for drinks.”

alma%20sideways%20look “That’s how it feels for me, and it’s thanks to that damned Alice_Rabbit thing.”

jill “I see.”

alma “But enough of that, there’s a more pressing matter at hand.”

jill “There is?”

alma%20concerned “Yeah, you’ve been delaying my invitations for hanging out sometime for too long!”

jill “Oh…that.”

alma%20sideways%20look “Do you hate me that much, Jill? Does my presence make you that uncomfortable?”

jill “No, I…”

alma%20smiling “At this rate I might just crash by your apartment! That way you can’t just say no.”

alma%20smiling “Maybe I’ll also crash for the night.”

alma%20smiling “We could have a sleepover, braid our hair, tell stories all night, shower together…”

alma%20smiling “You know you need some human warmth in that place.”

jill “Your tits alone would fill my entire bathroom.”

alma%20embarrassed “Man, you react too nonchalantly. It’s no fun.”

alma%20embarrassed “React a little bit. Let me tease you for a second.”

jill “I refuse.”

alma “In all seriousness, though. Any particular reason you keep turning down my invitations?”

alma “I mean, it’s not a date. I just wanna have a conversation with you outside these four walls.”

jill “I’m…not a morning person.”

jill “I registered for a night shift precisely to avoid waking up early.”

alma “The earliest I’ve asked you out is 10 a.m, you know?”

jill “That’s early morning by my standards.”

jill “I mean, it’s not that I don’t wanna hang out. I just don’t want to wake up early.”

alma%20embarrassed “You. Are. Hopeless.”

alma “Anyway, I’m gonna need another drink here.”

alma “Like, say…a big Brandtini.”

jill “Finally. That’s the Alma I know.”

alma “You know, Brandtini is such a weird name…”

jill “It was originally supposed to replicate the Martini.”

jill “Problem is, the BTC got a hold of brand of vermouth that was named after a certain automobile company.”

jill “So, on a weird whim, they changed the name.”

alma “I see.”

jill “You know, I was wondering…”

alma “Yeah?”

jill “Don’t you worry about what the people you work for might be doing with the information you provide?”

alma “Not really.”

jill “You don’t?”

alma “Do you worry about what happens when people leave this place drunk?”

jill “Not really…most of the time.”

alma “Well, neither do I.”

jill “Why should you? Do you get people drunk?”

alma%20smiling “Some say my beauty is intoxicating, but that’s besides the point.”

alma “I get my payment, do the job, and forget about the whole thing.”

jill “You make your job sound so easy…”

alma “Once you understand what precautions to take, it’s no problem. And I’ve always found my job fun.”

alma%20embarrassed “However, most of my contracts are consultancy-based gigs. It’s not like every day’s a thrill.”

jill “Do you meet with your client or…?”

alma “I don’t. It’s always from behind as many filters as I can manage.”

alma “I remember I once did a job where I had a couple of kids relaying letters.”

jill “For security reasons, right?”

alma%20confused “Actually, because that way I lose a lot less time.”

alma%20confused “I don’t have to deal with clients hitting on me or pestering me after the job’s done…”

alma%20confused “I also don’t have to lose time proving my worth because big boobs equals small brain or some shit like that.”

alma%20sideways%20look “I mean, protecting my identity is one of the reasons. But the few times I’ve shown myself…”

alma%20embarrassed “sigh”

alma%20embarrassed “They weren’t even risky or dangerous jobs, just run-of-the-mill security checks.”

alma%20embarrassed “I don’t know, maybe I need to show up as a disheveled nerd or something. Give them what they expect to see.”

alma%20embarrassed “…or I just don’t show up and save myself the trouble.”

alma “Why all the questions?”

jill “Just things I’ve been curious about and always forget to ask.”

jill “So many Alice_Rabbit headlines have made me wonder about the hacking business too.”

alma%20smiling “Oh. I’ll remember to ask you things next time then.”

jill “Take care.”

???: “Hello sugar.”

???: “Ow!”

jill “…hello, Mr. Donovan.”

jill “I think it’s more like plastic and carbon fiber.”

donovan “They’re hard as fuck and that’s all my abdomen felt.”

jill “Do you normally…greet people that way?”

donovan%20slight%20smile “I’m a man that can’t contain himself when he sees something he likes, kid.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Oh, but don’t worry. You’re safe. You’re flatter than the field at my summer house.”

jill “A bit of advice. You shouldn’t provoke the ones serving you drinks or food.”

donovan “Don’t be offended, kid. You have your audience. I’m just not part of it.”

donovan “Today I’m making this a quick one. Gotta tend to business in a while.”

donovan “Having said that, I’ll just have the usual.”

jill (“The usual he says…”)

donovan “Sure, this’ll work.”

jill “…”

jill “What brings you today, Mr. Donovan?”

donovan “That girl I interviewed yesterday is coming again in a couple of weeks.”

donovan “So, I was working to clinch an exclusive interview.”

jill “Did you succeed?”

donovan “Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?”

donovan%20slight%20smile “I’m Donovan D. Dawson. I always get what I want.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Sure, I had to blackmail the editors of other outlets, but the end result is what matters.”

jill “I see.”

jill “Wait, blackmail?”

donovan%20slight%20smile “You’d be surprised at the kind of stuff you find out when you get the right people drunk.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Hm? Hey, the signature on that glass over there…”

jill “Ah? Oh yeah…”

donovan%20slight%20smile “That big titted Lilim was here?!”

jill “She came yesterday before the concert, yeah.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Anything juicy come out of her visit?”

jill “No.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Gossip-worthy?”

jill “No.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Tabloid-worthy?”

jill “No.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Come on! There has to be something!”

jill “Well, her love for what she does is so honest and pure that anyone who tries to ruin it should be ashamed.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Oh, don’t give me that shit.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Throw me a bone here. Anything.”

jill “I’ve got nothing.”

donovan “Everyone has a price. How much for you to spill the beans?”

jill “I’m serious here. She said nothing that could be used against her or that you didn’t already know.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Fine.”

This next section is super gross and misogynistic.

donovan%20slight%20smile “Hey kid, do you think Lilim have nipples?”

jill “E-Excuse me?”

donovan%20slight%20smile “I mean, I’ve seen a couple of pornos where they have ‘em, but they could be modded, y’know?”

donovan%20slight%20smile “So yesterday, while interviewing the singer Lilim chick, I kept wondering if those tits had nipples.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “I mean, I’d be fine without them, but the curiosity is killing me.”

jill “…”

donovan%20slight%20smile “But I’m even more curious about the engineers that design them.”

donovan%20slight%20smile “Can you picture a room full of people discussing whether or not the tits on a Lilim look good?”

donovan%20slight%20smile “A bunch of guys and a lesbo engineer wondering if the latest model’s vagina is good enough.”

donovan%20smiling “Man, god bless those sonsabitches.”

jill “ahem”

jill “Any interesting preview of tomorrow’s news?”

donovan “You expect me to share my information when you wouldn’t share your scoop on the singer?”

jill “How can one share when there’s honestly nothing to share?”

donovan “Uh huh…”

donovan “I’m gonna be a good citizen today and let this one pass.”

donovan “Have you heard of a group called the “Harbingers”?”

jill “Not really, no.”

donovan “They’re some group wanting to overthrow the White Knights.”

donovan “I read their manifesto in the bathroom once. Interesting piece and even better makeshift toilet paper.”

donovan “They talk about how the organization is corrupt, full of mob bosses or something like that.”

jill “I think I’ve heard about that somewhere. What of them?”

donovan “They sent a message to some outlets saying they have proof of their claims.”

donovan “That they’re gonna release it to the public tomorrow.”

jill “Oh…that’d be interesting to see. I think…”

donovan “I know, right?”

donovan “Alright, kid. Give me a Bleeding Jane so I can call it a day.”

jill “Okay.”

donovan “Yeah, yeah…”
donovan “Simple enough for you, I see.”

jill “…”

donovan “So, I’ve heard this is Dana Zane’s bar. Is it true?”

jill “Yeah.”

donovan%20smiling “Never thought I’d hear about the Undefeated of the West again.”

donovan%20smiling “Moreso after that incident with the bears. Where is she?”

jill “She’s out running some err-…bears?”

donovan “Six years ago, a cash-strapped Dana Zane entered an underground ring for money.”

donovan “Faced ten enraged grizzly bears. She beat them all without killing them.”

donovan “I heard she set them free afterwards too.”

jill “And you were there?”

donovan “I was drunk and bored. What can I say?”

jill “Do you know if she lost her arm there?”

donovan “Can’t remember, too drunk. Maybe she had her prosthetic then too.”

donovan “I heard someone there suggest that she lost it after throwing a baseball out of some stadium.”

donovan “Threw it so hard her arm fell off.”

donovan “But that sounds more like an unsubstantiated rumor.”

jill (“More like something she made up.”)

donovan “Well, I gotta go. Next time you see Dana, thank her for winning me my second yacht.”

jill “Please come again.”

kollontai420 · April 27, 2018, 10:15pm

jill “Ah, Boss. You’re back.”

jill “What were you doing?”

dana%20peeved “I had a brief meeting with my BTC regional manager.”

jill “Oh…everything alright?”

dana%20peeved “As alright as it can be, considering that we’re closing eventually.”

jill “When will that happen?”

dana%20peeved “I don’t know.”

dana%20peeved “Brian said that we’ll be safe for a few months while the paperwork is filed and everything’s being put in order.”

jill “Oh…”

dana%20regular “I was also talking to him about you.”

jill “About me?”

dana%20regular “Yeah. I was telling him to do whatever it takes to ensure you don’t spend too much time without a job.”

dana%20regular “If possible, to reassign you ASAP after closing.”

jill “…”

dana%20blushing “Hey, if it helps, Brian might be the angriest of us all.”

dana%20blushing “”They want to close the only bar in the whole area that hasn’t given me any headaches!” he said.”

jill “Heh…”

jill “What about Gil?”

dana%20peeved “He’s the one that worries me the most, actually.”

dana%20peeved “He’s kinda working using the credentials of another guy that was working here before.”

jill “Who?”

dana%20peeved “The one who bought a levitation potion and then threw himself off a building.”

jill (“Ah yes, the “levitation potion” story.”)

jill “You use weird euphemisms, Boss.”

dana%20peeved “…anyway.”

dana%20peeved “I find it hard to believe that Gil will find a job after all this.”

jill “…just who is Gil?”

dana%20regular “I have an idea of who he is…but I’m still putting pieces together.”

dana%20regular “Anyway, back to work. Imminent closure is no excuse to slack off.”

gil “…”

gil “You guys do know I can hear you, right?”

???: “This place looks familiar…”

jill “It is indeed. Welcome to Valhalla.”

stella%20annoyed “…oh god, what is Sei planning now?”

jill “Excuse me?”

stella “…”

stella “I want a drink whose name was changed after many women protested. Can you get me that?”

jill “Sure.”

stella “Very nice. Thanks a lot.”

jill “So, you know Sei, miss…?”

stella “I’m Stella Hoshii. My pleasure.”

stella “Yeah. I know her. She’s been here before, yes?”

jill “Yup. In fact, I’m glad you know her because she left this here last time.”

stella%20annoyed “…oh, god. So she left her helmet behind, again.”

jill “Not the first time, huh?”

stella “Her helmets have been picked up by all sorts of people in the last three months.”

stella “Valets, nurses, morticians, fire jugglers…”

stella “She’s been lucky enough to always leave it with people who return it, at least.”

jill “Whoa, quite a few people.”

stella “Sei’s as much of a sociable girl as she is a total klutz.”

stella “At least when she’s not being serious. She’s very competent when she puts her mind to it.”

jill “I see.”

jill “So did she recommend you this place or…?”

stella “We’re meeting here today.”

stella “I can see why she chose this place. It’s the kind of place she likes.”

stella “…”

stella “Hm…”

stella “Say, is that ✩Kira✩ Miki’s autograph on that glass?”

jill (“Seems like the glass is a conversation starter. Nice.”)

jill “Yeah, it is.”

stella “How did you get it?”

jill “She stopped here yesterday just before the concert.”

stella%20shocked “REALLY?!”

stella%20blushing “…I mean…”

stella “She did?”

jill “Yeah. Nice girl.”

stella “Can I see it?”

jill “Sure.”

stella “Yup, this star-like signature is hers.”

stella “So your name’s Jill then?”

jill “Yes.”

stella%20smiling “Ain’t this nice?”

stella “Here you go.”

jill “Do you like her, Miss Stella?”

stella “Just call me Stella.”

stella%20smiling “I do.”

stella%20smiling “Whenever you hear her songs, you’re filled with so much energy and happiness.”

stella “Too bad I couldn’t purchase tickets for this one.”

stella “I mean, they were sold out in minutes!”

stella “Luckily I could secure a couple for the next time she comes around.”

stella “Oh, excuse me for a second.”

stella “Car crash?! Oh, you’re helping.”

stella “Will it take long? Alright.”

stella “Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry.”

jill “I take it that was Sei.”

jill “Will you wait for her?”

stella “I will.”

stella “In the meantime, I feel like having another drink.”

stella “One that was prepared in memory of its creator’s dearest friend.”

jill “Alright.”

Remember that conversation we had with Kim about the Piano Man? This is where it pays off, somewhat.

stella “Yes, exactly.”

stella “Thank you.”

jill “May I ask you something that might be personal?”

stella “It isn’t about my eye, is it?”

jill “No, it’s not…or at least I don’t think so.”

jill “I don’t get to serve many Cat Boomers, so it’s something I’ve been curious about.”

jill “Did you go through the procedure because of a disease or because of the fad?”

stella “Before I was born, I was diagnosed with Nanomachine Rejection.”

stella “So, it had to be done. Otherwise, I would’ve died shortly after birth.”

stella “I’m a bit on the weak side because of it, though.”

jill “I’m sorry if I overstepped.”

stella “I don’t mind.”

stella%20smiling “It’s always nice to dispel the idea that my parents were just into the fad.”

stella “You seem to know your drinks, Jill.”

jill “Well, I guess I’ve read a bit more than the recipe book.”

stella “Do you like alcohol?”

jill “Yeah, but not in the usual way. I don’t drink that much outside of canned Beer.”

jill “But their colors, their stories, the way you need to keep them stored, their designs…”

jill “It sounds a bit silly when I say it out loud.”

stella “Not at all.”

stella “Do you collect them or anything like that?”

jill “Actually, yeah. I started with my grandpa’s collection and have been slowly growing it.”

jill “It’s been hard because of my debts, but I manage, little by little.”

jill “Do you like alcohol, Stella?”

stella “I’m here, right?”

stella “But I’m normally more of a social drinker.”

stella “Unless it’s with somebody, I don’t tend to drink much.”

jill “I see.”

???: “Sorry I’m late!”

jill “Welcome.”

sei%20frowning “Yeah, sorry! Sorry.”

sei%20frowning “I got caught in rush hour traffic too and figured walking might be faster.”

sei%20frowning “Luckily, there was a building with emergency stairs nearby and I climbed down.”

jill ””Climbed down”?”

sei “Took an air cab.”

jill “Oh.”

stella “I would suggest using ground transportation, but I’m happy to see you put safety first.”

sei%20smiling “Safety? No, no…flying cars are just way cooler.”

stella “I still don’t understand how they don’t give you motion sickness.”

sei%20smiling “If I find out how I avoid it, you’ll be the first to know.”

sei%20smiling “Anyway, I’ll have whatever she orders next.”

stella “I’d like a drink that was…”

sei%20frowning “You’re at it again? You and your cryptic orders always leaving us with weird stuff.”

stella%20annoyed “Hey, I expect only the best from whoever serves me.”

stella%20annoyed “They need to be able to answer these kind of orders.”

sei “Still, I’m sure you’re wearing out poor Jill here with that kind of stuff.”

stella “She’s done quite well so far, actually.”

sei “Really?”

jill “Thank you.”

sei “Whatever. Please order something normal, would you?”

stella “That’ll be two Fringe Weavers, then.”

sei%20frowning “You’ll have two drinks at once?”

stella “No, we’re sharing.”

sei%20frowning “What? Like half a glass for each? Isn’t it better if it’s one for each?”

stella “Don’t worry, you’ll see.”

sei%20frowning “So?”

stella “This one’s for you and this one’s for me. You said you wanted whatever I asked for, right?”

sei “Oooooh, that way. You could’ve said so earlier.”

stella “Mm hmm.”

jill “Oh yeah, here.”

sei%20smiling “Hey! So this is where I left my helmet. Thanks!”

stella “You really need to be more careful with your things.”

sei “Yeah, but I have spares!”

stella “Those spares should be saved for when the one you’re using breaks or malfunctions, not when you lose it.”

stella “Those helmets cost money, you know?”

sei “Yeah. Sorry…”

jill (“Should I say that Boss got her head stuck because of a jammed button?”)

stella “Speaking of money, you still going to that meeting at the bank tomorrow?”

sei “Yup. You worried?”

jill (“I’ll refrain for now.”)

stella%20annoyed “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.”

sei “Don’t be! It’ll be fine. Rumors are just rumors.”

jill “Rumors?”

sei “They say something might happen at the bank tomorrow.”

sei “But with all the tension in the air lately, it’s hard to know if it’s true.”

sei “As if the fear mongering wasn’t enough, the people have also started spreading baseless rumors.”

sei%20frowning “Just yesterday I had to stop a group of rampaging youngsters that heard the city would be leveled by bombs.”

sei%20frowning “sigh Everyone’s on edge.”

stella%20annoyed “…yeah.”

sei “I know you’re worried, but I have to go there. It’s orders from the higher ups.”

sei “Tell me something. If somebody came after me, do you think they’d stand a chance?”

stella%20annoyed “You’re quite strong, but…”

sei “I’ll take something to protect myself, be prepared for anything.”

sei “Would that make you feel safer?”

stella “Maybe…”

sei%20smiling “I’ll tell you what, after I come back we’ll get some ice cream. That way you can vent all your frustrations.”

stella “…alright.”

stella “Seems my vehicle is here to pick me up. You coming, Sei?”

sei “Nah, I’ll stay here a bit longer.”

sei “Bye.”

jill “That means she cares about you.”

sei%20smiling “I’ve never doubted.”

sei “Say…why does my helmet smell like bacon?”

jill “Eh…bacon?”

sei “Not that I mind. I’m just curious.”

jill “Well, you know how some things absorb the smell of what’s nearby? It must’ve grabbed it from one of the ingredients.”

sei “I see.”

jill “Do you believe all that stuff about tensions growing and that anarchist group trying to disband the White Knights?”

sei%20frowning “To tell you the truth, I am a bit worried.”

sei%20frowning “Even in my division, there’s some shady business going on. But I don’t want to investigate too deeply.”

jill “What kind of business?”

sei%20frowning “From what I understand…things like working with human traffickers or drug dealers, letting them act as they wish.”

sei%20frowning “Some even say the ones that do get apprehended are the ones that have failed them in some way.”

sei%20frowning “Stella always says “The White Knights are just glorified mall security.””

sei “She says that if it’s been proven beyond a doubt that some shady business is going on…”

sei “Zaibatsu Corp’s main branch would separate themselves from the whole White Knight division.”

sei “Something about the associates’ fear of bad PR resulting in them moving to the BTC.”

jill “Sounds plausible.”

sei “Yeah. It kinda worries me, though, because I really like my job.”

sei “And I guess a similar fear exists among the upper ranks. Lately they seem…restless.”

jill “Too much politics, huh?”

sei “It hurts my brain. I just want to rescue people and help them.”

sei%20frowning “I just wanna do my job without worries about politics of any kind.”

jill “What are you doing at the bank tomorrow?”

sei “My colonel needed to relay some information to the manager, and I was picked because he trusted me.”

sei%20frowning “Well, he said “You’re such a simpleton that you’d never give the wrong message”, but it’s his intention that counts.”

jill “O-Oh…”

???: “FINALLY! THE DOROTHY HAS COME BACK TO VALHALLA!”

Dorothy stuff.

dorothy%20smiling “Oh, come on! You know the audience would’ve gone wild with that one.”

dorothy%20flirty “And besides, you make it sound like you have a full house.”

jill “ahem”

jill “It’s uncommon to see you here two days in a row.”

dorothy “I wanted to grab something before starting my shift.”

dorothy “Grab something before they start grabbing me, you could say.”

sei%20smiling “Hey, you having a drink? Can I buy you one?”

dorothy%20smiling “Why yes! Thank you.”

dorothy%20smiling “Honey, you should follow her example and offer me drinks more often.”

jill “We’ll see.”

jill “What are you having?”

sei “I’ll have what she’s having.”

dorothy%20smiling “Then I’ve got the perfect thing. Let’s have a Blue Fairy.”

sei%20smiling “One for both?”

dorothy “One for each!”

jill “Alright.”

sei%20smiling “Hey, this is pretty good.”

dorothy “See?”

dorothy “And it’s blue like your hair.”

sei%20smiling “It is!”

dorothy “So, what’s your name, sweetie?”

sei “Call me Sei.”

dorothy “Alright Sei, I’m Dorothy.”

dorothy “Say Sei…”

sei%20smiling “Yes yes?”

dorothy%20smiling “Sei say.”

sei%20smiling “Yes yes?”

dorothy%20smiling “Say say.”

dorothy%20smiling “Sei Sei.”

jill “…”

dorothy “Sei…why did you just buy me a drink?”

sei%20smiling “I just thought you were cute as a button so I wanted to invite you to join me.”

dorothy “…”

dorothy “Wow, you have to be the first person to offer me a drink without having an ulterior motive.”

dorothy “And that includes Fuckboy over there.”

gil “…”

jill “What do you mean?”

dorothy “Trust me, when you work in my kind of field, you learn to read cues from everything.”

dorothy “And this girl is simple to a fault.”

jill “…”

sei%20smiling “How so?”

dorothy “You’re the “what you see is what you get” type.”

dorothy “That look on your face is of one that simply sees no point in lying.”

dorothy “Coupled with the fact that you’re here in what looks like your work attire tells me…”

dorothy “That you’re so married to your job that sex is too far down your priority list to notice its existence.”

dorothy “So, if you invited me to a drink because you found me cute and that’s the extent of it, I believe you.”

sei%20smiling “Thank you!”

jill “You say she’s the first one, but what about Deal giving you a ticket the other day?”

dorothy “Who? Oh yeah! The Lilim with the dogs.”

dorothy%20pout “No, he doesn’t count. He looked like a humanoid mat.”

jill “Ouch…”

sei “You seem very perceptive, Dorothy. But I’m not too far behind!”

dorothy “How so?”

sei “I can tell your body is heavily modded with things you shouldn’t even have.”

dorothy%20nervous : “…”

sei “Your tongue is a BEB069 with DNA scanning capabilities.”

sei “Your skin is coated with an anti-radiation finish.”

sei “Your joints are of the premium, extra-flexible variety.”

sei “And the most important thing…your hands.”

dorothy%20nervous : “W-What about them?”

sei “I don’t know how modded your body is under your clothes. The tongue, joints and skin are merely interesting.”

sei “But your hands are the MIRD113 of Realta Industries…”

sei “A model designed to shoot Class-5 bullets from its fingertips.”

dorothy%20verge%20of%20tears “S-So?”

sei “Clause G of article 17 in the Augmentations and Modifications Law on the topic of ballistic augmentations.”

sei “”Any humanoid or sapient creature under civilian designation that has upgraded any of its person…””

sei “”…to hold firearms of Class-3 grade or higher will either be commissioned for disarmament or sent to danger zones.””

dorothy%20verge%20of%20tears “…w-what are you gonna do?”

sei%20smiling “Nothing.”

dorothy%20upset “Eh?”

sei “I’m not in law enforcement. I just do rescue. And even if I was, I’m not on duty right now.”

dorothy%20upset “O-Oh…”

sei “I want to know, though. Why go through with that upgrade?”

dorothy “A girl’s gotta take care of herself, you know?”

dorothy “I wanna be able to deal with things if they get ugly. And this is the most discreet mod I had.”

dorothy%20upset “…or at least I thought so.”

sei “Oh! Yeah, yeah.”

sei “Okay then. Can I give you some advice?”

dorothy%20upset “I guess…?”

sei “The reason I could tell it’s not your default hand model is your fingertips.”

sei “The tips are a little bigger to make the cannons fit.”

sei “You could get a small mod that changes them into disposable tips.”

sei “…assuming they’re being used for self-defense and not regular use, of course.”

dorothy “I-I see.”

sei “Well, I’ve gotta go. Ah yes, another thing.”

sei%20smiling “If you aim for the arms or legs, once is self defense. Anything more is assault.”

dorothy%20upset “Y-Yeah…”

dorothy%20upset “Bye bye.”

jill “Please come again.”

dorothy%20crying “They would put my mind on a vacuum cleaner for three years!”

dorothy “Two if I behave well.”

jill “That’s what happens when you underestimate people.”

jill “Although I’m tempted to ask…”

dorothy “About what?”

jill “DNA-reading tongue?”

dorothy%20smiling “Very prehensile, intuitive. Also, it vibrates!”

jill “Extra-flexible joints?”

dorothy “Do you really need to ask?”

jill “Anti-radiation coating?”

dorothy%20pout “Hey! My skin’s my first tool of the trade. I need to take care of it as much as possible.”

dorothy “And it makes me feel so soft no matter how much it’s been battered.”

jill “Alright then…”

jill “So, you fancy yourself a diviner? Reading people and all.”

dorothy “Not really. I’m just quite good at reading people.”

dorothy%20smiling “I guess it’s a byproduct of dealing with so many people on a daily basis.”

jill (“It’s a bit surreal to hear that from a Lilim.”)

jill “What can you say about me, then?”

dorothy “Let’s see…hm…”

dorothy “You’re very, very, VERY sexually frustrated.”

dorothy “It’s not the act itself, but rather that your partners can’t seem to satisfy you on a deeper level.”

dorothy%20upset “There’s an even deeper frustration. Something happened that’s blocking you.”

dorothy%20upset “Maybe there’s someone you know who won’t return your feelings. Maybe you were hurt in the past.”

dorothy%20upset “Thus, your demeanor is that of someone who feels like life is playing tricks on her.”

dorothy%20upset “Like a dog whose owner never really throws the ball.”

jill “…”

dorothy%20flirty “Oh boy, did I actually hit the nail on the head? I was making this stuff up on the fly!”

dorothy%20flirty “All of that was just rubbish I say because it’s right 80% of the time.”

dorothy%20flirty “Generic bullshit if you will. You’d be surprised at the amount of sexual frustration people hold.”

dorothy “I can’t read you, honey. You’re too good at putting on a professional face.”

dorothy%20smiling “But this definitely gives me more insight into you. Lucky lucky~

jill “Aren’t you late or something?”

dorothy%20flirty “I am. But if you’d let me satisfy your frustrations, I could stall for some time.”

jill “Go.”

gil “Artificial intelligence has come rather far, eh? One wonders how artificial it remains.”

jill “Shut up, Fuckboy.”

jill “Yeah.”

jill “Hey, Boss. This might seem random, but…”

jill “Do you remember the first time I came to the bar?”

dana%20regular “When you came to submit your contract? Yeah, why?”

jill “Well, for some reason I’ve been hung up on it since this morning, and I just realized why.”

jill “The visage that welcomed me back then was…Gil trying to pull your hand out of a jar.”

dana%20regular “Oh yeah! THAT.”

dana%20regular “I can’t remember what exactly, but something fell inside and I tried to retrieve it.”

dana%20regular “I just kinda put my hand in and it got stuck. It was a friend’s jar too so I couldn’t just break it.”

dana%20regular “Hey Gil, how did you get my hand out of that jar?”

dana%20regular “Oh yeah, clever solution.”

jill “Yeah, and that brings me to the random thought.”

jill “That incident, the helmet yesterday, the many times your foot got stuck on something for stomping it…”

jill “Boss…why do you get stuck in so many different things?”

gil%20surprised “Huh…”

gil “Now that you mention it, I remember this one time she tried to eat a big sandwich and her jaw got stuck.”

gil “Then there was the incident with the TV…”

dana%20peeved “I’ll admit my fault with the others, but the TV incident was NOT my fault.”

dana%20peeved “The assembly instructions for that stand should have labeled their Z and S better.”

dana%20peeved “You saw what happened when I switched the S2 piece with the 5Z one.”

gil “Still…Jill’s onto something here.”

dana%20peeved “ahem Yes, she is.”

gil%20exasperated “I want to believe.”

kollontai420 · May 4, 2018, 1:17am

It’s officially happening! What do you think will happen?

Probably nothing…

Last time it was the leaks.

I think Alice jumped the shark with that one because it seems hard to top, maybe more leaks?

Sounds unlikely, I don’t think the government would let that happen twice.

But this is Alice we’re talking about! there’s nothing they can’t do.

What if that spooky message wasn’t really Alice but just an epic prank?

who would hack a site like this just for a prank? :^)

N-Not me ;~)

You’re right though, it might be someone else.

We’ll have to wait and see. What was the date again?

December 17

Right, if only we knew more about the target now.

Sick Meme Sis

These Alice threads piss me off, fucking e-celebs.

hmm, what if it has something to do with the terrorism rumours?

This thread is closed

Today, we’ll take a look at one of the most popular acts of our times! How did she get started? What’s her favorite movie? What about her romantic life

Don’t miss this exclusive interview! Only on The Augmented Eye!

CONTENT BLOCKED IN YOUR REGION

Everyone loves Kira Miki, and Alice_Rabbit is no exception.

You might be wondering what’s my proof for this not-so-wacky theory, and well, keep reading if you want to know!

Attack patterns

This is an easy one, you just-I’m getting tired of your shit, Miss Smithee.

Crime is up 5% this month, officially making the road to Megachristmas a dangerous one.

White Knights, aware of the situation, have promised to maintain security in all sectors, even though recent budget cuts have been decreasing the morale of their personnel.

An uphill battle

Poverty and the lack of opportunities are no longer the main causes of crime.

Criminals come from all walks of life. They will murder and distribute drugs for no other reason than the fact it gives them power. It’s no longer about feeding their families. It’s about domination. There are entire sectors controlled by these dangerous gangs and there’s no solution in sight. This Megachristmas will be a very dark one.

gil%20surprised “…!”

gil “Seems you made it just in time.”

jill “I think that’s just a car backfiring.”

gil “Really? It sounded more like a gunshot to me.”

jill “Have you ever heard gunshots?”

gil “Haven’t we all at some point?”

jill “Yeah, well…”

jill “See? Sounds more like a car’s exhaust.”

gil “I don’t know… It’s too dry.”

jill “Yeah, but gunshots give more echo.”

jill “Ah, boss.”

gil “Firecrackers?”

dana%20regular “Yup. A couple of years ago there was an incident where some dude killed a cop.”

dana%20regular “He managed to slip away because his pistol was mixed up with the usual Mega Christmas firecrackers.”

gil “Nah, it sounded too hollow for firecrackers.”

dana%20regular “Well, whatever. This is not a morning talk show.”

dana%20regular “I’m not paying you to chit-chat about meaningless things.”

dana%20peeved “…at least not amongst yourselves.”

jill “Right, we shouldn’t lose time over a CAR’S EXHAUST.”

gil%20angry “Hey!”

jill “Time to mix drinks and change lives.”

jill “Welcome to Valhalla.”

jill “What kind of information?”

art “What can you tell me about a girl nicknamed “Crimson Rose”?”

jill “Sounds like a tacky online handle.”

jill “Although “tacky online handle” is a bit redundant.”

art “Do you know anything about her?”

jill “Nope, sorry.”

art “I have $80 here that might refresh your memory.”

jill “…”

jill “Now that you mention it, I remember something…”

art “Really?!”

jill “Yeah. Now I’m totally sure that I have no idea whatsoever who you’re talking about.”

art “Nothing at all?”

jill “Nothing.”

art%20annoyed “Man, you’re a sucky bartender. Not having any info I need.”

jill “sigh Well. First of all, why assume I just happen to have the info you conveniently need?”

jill “Does that girl frequent this place? Is there any proof that I might have the info you so desperately need?”

art “Well, I…”

jill “And second, you’re not going to get anywhere by offering me physical money.”

jill “In fact, what are you doing with physical money? Do you wanna get mugged so badly?”

art “Yeah, well…”

jill “MOREOVER, even if I did know something, do you really think $80 is enough?”

jill “You can do almost NOTHING with $80. It’s not enough to have a decent lunch.”

art “Why are you scolding me?”

jill “Why did you call me a sucky bartender for not conveniently having the info you need?”

art “I…”

art “Wait…of course! You want all deals to be clean, so you need me to spend money on the bar.”

jill “…”

art “That’s how it works, right? I spend money. You give me the info.”

jill “…maybe, maybe not.”

art “Okay then, get me a drink, but keep it under $80.”

jill “…”

art “Okay then. Do you know anything about the girl?”

jill “No.”

art “But you said…”

jill “”Maybe, maybe not”. Turns out that it’s maybe not.”

jill “You were the one deluding yourself into thinking I might know something.”

jill “And like I said: $80 is nothing.”

art “So – I need to spend more?”

jill “I’ll give you some intel.”

jill “Spend all the money you want, but I know nothing and no amount will change that.”

art “Can I at least get my money back?”

jill “Why? The order is right, isn’t it?”

art%20annoyed “sigh I guess.”

jill “So, why are you looking for that girl, mister…?”

art “Von Delay, Art Von Delay.”

art “I’m a private detective. It’s what I do.”

jill “So, I’ll assume you’re either looking for a missing girl or working for a creepy online stalker.”

art “You’re assuming the girl I’m looking for is innocent, or lost.”

jill “She’s not?”

art “She’s half of the so-called “Reapers” of the city.”

art “Two guns-for-hire that work for whoever’s resourceful enough to find them and wealthy enough to pay them.”

art “Crimson Rose and Cobalt Lily, they call themselves.”

jill (“They still sound more like teenagers’ internet nicknames.”)

jill “So, who wanted you to track her?”

art “I don’t know. I got the letter with the instructions and a paycheck.”

jill “What if it’s a prank?”

art%20annoyed “I have the money, so what do I care if it is?”

art%20annoyed “Besides, considering the amount I was able to cash in with that check, it’d be a pretty wasteful prank.”

jill “I see.”

art “Still, any information or rumors you could give me?”

art “They don’t have to be related to the girl.”

jill “Why do you need them?”

art “It’s always good to keep up with local goings-ons.”

jill “Well…let’s see…”

jill “Hm…”

jill “Sorry. Can’t think about anything right now. Most of the conversations you hear in here aren’t rumor-worthy.”

jill “Humor-worthy, maybe. But not much about current events. At least, not beyond what you see on the news.”

art%20annoyed “Dammit! What kind of bar is this if you can’t gather the word on the street?”

jill (“What kind of film noir world do you think you live in?”)

jill “Gil might know something if you’re so fixated on finding some kind of information.”

gil “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

art “Do you know something that might help me, Gil?”

gil “I don’t. I certainly don’t and I’m offended by the suggestion that I do.”

art “He knows something.”

jill “On second thought, maybe it’s better if you don’t get involved with him.”

art%20annoyed “Well, this has been a major waste of time.”

art%20annoyed “And here I thought all the noise BTC bars have made lately would be useful for something.”

jill “Noise? What noise?”

art “You don’t know?”

jill “I’m asking for a reason.”

art “You’ll find out soon enough. Don’t worry.”

jill “…”

art “In any case, I guess I’ll have another drink and leave.”

jill “What can I get you?”

art “I’ll have a Grizzly Temple.”

jill “Simple enough.”

art “Okay then. This is going to be deducted from the $80 from earlier, right?”

jill “No.”

art “Fine…”

art “Come on! There has to be something.”

art “This week has been slow as hell.”

art “The only good thing I’ve heard is about this girl who threw herself off the roof of a nearby mall.”

art “And the whole thing about a woman catching her mid-air makes me think it’s totally made up.”

jill “Aside from rumors that “The Harbingers” are looking to cause trouble at a bank today…no, not really.”

art%20annoyed “Dammit!”

art “Wait…who told you that?”

jill “It appeared on the news, didn’t it?”

art “Yeah, but the name “The Harbingers” wasn’t used.”

art “No Glitch City outlet has reported that themselves.”

art “There are rumors that someone or something is keeping them silent.”

art “And even the international outlets aren’t using the name “Harbingers”.”

art “They’re avoiding acknowledging the organization yet, for some reason.”

art “So you’re either one of them or somebody in the know told you about it.”

jill (“Wow, he can be surprisingly sharp.”)

jill “Yeah. Donovan D. Dawson was in here for the last three days, actually.”

art “Really?!”

jill (“I wonder if he’ll notice the glass that idol signed…”)

art “I mean, sure. I can’t think of anything that would be useful involving him right now, but…”

jill (“Guess not…”)

art “Did he talk about anything interesting?”

jill “Interviewing the Idol that had a show a couple of days ago, dealing with messy interns…”

jill “Par for the course, I guess.”

art “I see, I see…that’s…”

gil “Gunshot!”

jill “It’s a backfire.”

dana%20regular “FIRECRACKERS!”

jill “Hey, what do you think that sound just now was?”

art “Sounded like something very heavy being dropped.”

gil “Something heavy? Come on! That’s not even close!”

jill “It was definitely more like an explosion of some kind.”

art “No, you could clearly hear the clashing of metal.”

art “Something that was both made out of metal and very heavy fell down. That’s what made the sound.”

jill “Whatever it is, it’s not normal for it to be repeating so often.”

jill “I wonder if something’s happening.”

art “I heard there were some gang spats going on. Maybe they took the conflict here.”

gil “Which means…gunshots!”

jill “If that’s the case, I just hope they don’t come too near us.”

art “Well, I’ve got to go. Seems coming here wasn’t a waste of time after all.”

jill “Really?”

art “Really. I just have different needs. But there will come a time when this place might help me.”

jill “Please, come again.”

jill “Gangs, then?”

gil “Unlikely. This is Unicorn territory.”

gil “They’ve always been a neutral and important third party in other gangs’ deals.”

jill “The who what now?”

gil “…”

jill “sigh I’ll just pretend I heard nothing.”

gil “Thank you.”

jill “He left me thinking about the whole “noise from BTC bars” thing.”

jill “What’s up with that?”

gil “I think I heard something about money laundering through bars.”

gil “Don’t take my word for it though.”

jill “I see…”

jill “I guess I’ll find out…soon enough.”

jill “Welco-…”

Fair warning, Streaming-chan talks about a lot of sex stuff and a lot of it is gross. Really gross.

streaming “Bathroom time and naughty moments only available to Premium users.”

streaming “It’s only $99.99 a month. Go Premium noooooow!”

jill “Um…”

streaming%20excited “It’s Friday night, and you all know what that means! It’s time for Streaming-chan’s Escapades!”

streaming “Today’s Escapade is brought to you by Shining Fingered dot moe.”

streaming “Leaders of VR adult entertainment since 2069.”

streaming “Buy a year of Premium membership and you’ll get a code!”

streaming%20excited “Exchange the code for a free trial of a VR experience modeled after yours truly!”

jill “Excuse-…”

streaming%20excited “Today I picked the shoddiest, nastiest, smelliest, ugliest bar I could find downtown.”

streaming%20annoyed “And sadly, it actually looks half-decent inside. So much for going to a craphole bar that smells like dog urine.”

gil “Heheh…”

jill “Excuse me…”

streaming “But no matter. Tonight, I’ll give you an Escapade you’ll never forget.”

streaming%20excited “Hey, you! Where’s the bartender?”

jill “You’re talking to her.”

streaming%20excited “Very funny. Where is he, really?”

jill “Right in front of you.”

streaming%20excited “…”

streaming “Hey, you! The pretty boy over there. Where’s the bartender?”

gil “You’re looking at ‘em.”

streaming “N-No way!”

streaming%20annoyed “No hot, shirtless guy playing with fire and serving drinks while flirting with you?”

streaming%20annoyed “No sexy, scantily-clad girl jiggling around the place?”

streaming%20annoyed “You’re telling me YOU TWO, dressed like fucking waiters, are the bartenders here?!”

jill “Yup.”

gil “Seems that way…”

streaming%20annoyed “…”

jill “Is that a problem?”

streaming%20annoyed “Of course it’s a problem. Friday nights are peak viewing hours!”

streaming%20annoyed “I need something sexy or enticing to keep them interested.”

streaming “Oh well, there’s an easy solution to that.”

jill “There is?”

streaming “Yeah. Just take your top off.”

jill “…”

streaming “You might need to take off your bra too, depending on how the traffic goes.”

streaming “Wait, you’re quite flat. Do you even use a bra?”

As we all know, women love talking about boobs constantly.

jill “…”

streaming “Is that piercing glare a “no”?”

streaming%20annoyed “Come on! One of us is gonna have to take off their top and it ain’t gonna be me. I already did that once today.”

streaming%20annoyed “Agh! And it’s too late to go somewhere else. By the time I find an even nastier bar, they’ll be closed.”

streaming%20annoyed “What’s your policy on wearing pants?”

jill “Somebody tried to have me fired for wearing a skirt, so we deal with that on a case by case basis.”

streaming%20annoyed “That’s not a concrete answer. I need binary yes/no answers. My viewers have the attention span of fruit flies.”

streaming%20annoyed “If they wanted to use their brains, do you think they’d watch something like this?”

streaming%20annoyed “I need to keep them entertained, and the fact that you still have your shirt on isn’t helping.”

streaming%20excited “Wait, I know! Give me a drink! A big one! The nastiest one you can think of!”

jill “…”

streaming “Um…hello? Service here, please.”

jill “…”

jill (“Wow, it’s like my brain shut down.”)

jill “Sure…”

streaming%20excited “Alright then! Cheers!”

jill “I don’t think you should chug it down so…”

streaming%20excited “…”

jill “…quickly.”

streaming “It’s like it hit me, but I didn’t feel it until a few seconds later.”

streaming “Is this what being kicked in the balls feels like?”

gil “Yup.”

streaming “Okay. I’ve decided. I’ll just get really wasted.”

streaming “That’s gotta be fun enough, right?”

jill “If you say so…”

streaming “Okay! In the meantime, what can you tell me about this bar?”

jill “What do you mean?”

streaming “Weird stories! Fun stuff! Interesting facts!”

streaming “You’re being seen by an average of 6,000 people. Make their time worth it!”

jill “Let’s see then…”

jill “Last weekend we held a party for the Seifar Toy Company.”

streaming “And?”

jill “It’s a company run completely by dogs.”

streaming “Really?”

jill “This place was completely overrun by Corgis.”

streaming “Wait wait wait…Corgis?!”

streaming%20excited “Did you really serve drinks to Corgis?!”

jill “Tuxedo-clad talking Corgis, yeah.”

streaming%20excited “Wow! Awesome!”

streaming%20annoyed “Wait, you’re not shitting me, right?”

jill “…I wish I was shitting you, trust me.”

streaming%20excited “What else? What else?”

jill “Um…let’s see…”

jill “Donovan D. Dawson from The Augmented Eye was here for three nights in a row.”

streaming%20excited “That perfumed chauvinistic bastard?”

jill (“Huh, there’s that word again.”)

streaming “Just the other day someone from The Augmented Eye interviewed me, actually.”

jill “What did they ask?”

streaming “Oh, the usual bullshit. Who I was, what I did, future plans, inspirations…”

streaming “The one that interviewed me was this small, meek girl with glasses.”

streaming “She seemed a bit bitter though. I wonder why.”

streaming “But enough about tha-…wait. Can I see that glass over there?”

jill “Hm? Sure.”

streaming “This signature… Is this ✩Kira✩ Miki’s autograph?!”

jill “Yeah, she came here before her last concert.”

streaming%20excited “Get out! Really?!”

streaming%20excited “Is this some kind of secret hidden bar of the stars or something?”

jill “Not really. We’re just in the right place at the right time.”

streaming%20excited “What kind of person is she when she’s not on stage?”

streaming%20excited “I’ve tried to get a meeting with her, and she actually seemed willing but she’s always busy.”

jill “A very nice girl, actually.”

jill “She seems to be completely invested in her work. She loves what she does and it shows.”

jill “You’d think she’d be some sort of diva, but as far as I’m concerned, she’s one of the nicest people I’ve met.”

streaming%20excited “I KNEW IT! I knew she was nice.”

streaming%20excited “Her passion shows in her concerts, you know? She’s so…spontaneous. Her performances are never the same.”

streaming%20excited “Every time she sings Shine Spark, I feel like my soul is warming up like a high-performance computer.”

streaming%20excited “SHIIIIIIIIIINE SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!!”

streaming “I find myself singing it in the shower all the time.”

streaming “And those who play Premium can hear me sing everyday! At $99.99 a month, go Premium now!”

streaming “That aside, I was about to call bullshit on what you said.”

streaming “But I guess you do have some sort of proof for everything.”

streaming “Can I keep this glass?”

jill “No.”

streaming “Pretty please?”

jill “No.”

streaming%20annoyed “Party pooper.”

streaming “At least this bar might be more interesting than I initially thought.”

streaming “The one thing that’d make it perfect is if pretty boy over there had a past with the KGB.”

gil “WHO TOL-…!”

Just how old IS Gillian?

gil “Y-Yeah…that’d be crazy, huh?”

jill “…”

jill “Are you gonna order anything else?”

streaming “What? Oh. Yeah, yeah. The whole getting wasted thing.”

streaming “I heard of a drink called a Bad Touch.”

streaming “Get me a big one of those, please. A Big Bad Touch.”

jill “pffft C-coming right up.”

streaming%20annoyed “I was expecting something…dirtier.”

jill “We have olive brine - I can pour in a bit, if that’s what you want.”

streaming%20annoyed “No, not that.”

streaming%20annoyed “With such a dirty name, it feels like the drink ought to come in a phallic glass or be this thick white liquid.”

streaming%20annoyed “That would’ve rocketed the watchers at least threefold.”

streaming%20annoyed “Don’t you have anything like that?”

jill “Nope.”

streaming%20annoyed “sigh I’ll have to make do with the condensed milk when I get home.”

Ughhhhh.

streaming “Friendly reminder that today’s Escapade is brought to you by Shining Fingered dot moe!”

streaming “Leaders of VR adult entertainment since 2069!”

streaming “Buy a year of Premium membership for a neat code.”

streaming%20excited “Said code will net you a free trial of a VR experience with a model based on moi!”

jill “What’s the deal with that VR experience?”

streaming “Well, a fan made an NND model of me.”

streaming “When Shining Fingered asked me about a model for our partnership I just contacted him.”

streaming “He got money for polishing the model a lot more, I got a partnership. We all won!”

streaming “I even got him a year of free Premium membership and a VR set!”

jill “That’s nice.”

jill “…wait. What’s NND?”

streaming “Don’t tell me you haven’t heard of Niku Niku Dance.”

jill “I asked for a reason.”

streaming “It’s…well it’s music videos with 3D models.”

streaming “Yeah, that sounds like a good enough explanation.”

jill “I see.”

streaming “To be honest though, the model is a bit…meatier than me.”

streaming “Not that I mind it though, considering the use it gets.”

jill “ahem”

streaming “You know, I was expecting you to be more…scared when I said that you’re being watched by a lot of people.”

jill “It’s hard to be scared when you can’t see these people.”

streaming “But they’re still there, you know?”

streaming “Sure, they’re behind screens and sometimes in the opposite corner of the world…”

streaming “But every single one of my viewers is a real person with a real life.”

And they’re all real terrible people.

streaming “Not being here doesn’t make them any less real.”

jill “I understand, but it’s just not the same. They’re not here, visibly paying attention to me.”

jill “I don’t get paranoid because of my phone contacts.”

streaming “That’s true, I guess.”

streaming “So…tell me. What made a lady like you become a bartender?”

jill “It’s not exactly an exciting story.”

streaming “Does it involve a man?”

jill “No.”

streaming “What about a crime?”

jill “Nope.”

streaming “A childhood promise?”

jill “Nah.”

streaming “A religious vow?”

jill “A what?”

streaming%20annoyed “You’re not gonna tell me that you just decided out of the blue to quit your job and start bartending.”

jill “That’s actually what happened…sorta.”

streaming%20annoyed “Oh, come on! No epiphany? Quarter-life crisis? Not even a hot teacher somewhere along the line?”

jill “…cough”

jill “…”

jill “L-Life isn’t always a young adult novel where every decision is a road cone.”

streaming%20annoyed “And that’s a problem. One third of my audience are teens that shouldn’t be allowed to watch my streams.”

streaming%20annoyed “Throw me a bone here. There must be a nice, mystical story you can tell about yourself, Ms. Bartender.”

jill “Well…”

streaming “Yeeeeeeeeeeeeees?”

jill “…”

jill “Some time after I started working I got an interesting client.”

jill “He was a DRK-S0L, a really old Lilim model.”

jill “Apparently his power supply was running low.”

jill “His charger was destroyed, and he didn’t have the money to buy upgrades or replacements.”

jill “He also seemed to have neglected his maintenance.”

jill “He was from the time when the Collective Source wasn’t a cloud storage system.”

jill “So he wouldn’t be uploaded there once his body ran out of energy.”

streaming “Keep going…”

jill “It was weird, you know? He was the only Lilim I’ve seen with a clear cut fear of mortality.”

jill “No transcendence for him. He would disappear once his batteries ran out.”

jill “”It’s like knowing you’ll vanish while everyone else passes on to heaven,” he said.”

streaming “Oh, man…”

jill “I guess he felt bad about burdening someone else with his problems.”

jill “So he went and gave me a fingertip of his that fell while we were talking.”

jill “Before he left, he said, “If you remember me, maybe a part of me will transcend.””

streaming “…”

jill “Um…”

streaming%20excited “Bravo! Bra-vo!”

streaming%20excited “Touching! Full of feeling! Completely awesome!”

streaming%20excited “I’d pay to see a movie like that.”

streaming “So, what happened to that finger?”

jill “I made a pendant out of it. I carry it with me at all times.”

streaming “Even while bathing?”

jill “ALMOST all times.”

jill “Now that I think about it, how do you handle the stream if you want to watch a movie or something?”

streaming “I have a plugin that lays mosaic censorship over whatever I watch on TV or in the theater.”

jill “I see…”

streaming%20annoyed “Okay, this is getting stale. I’m gonna heat this up even if I have to do it myself.”

streaming%20annoyed “We need to drop a cow in here. Ms. Bartender, get me drunk. I don’t care how, just…do it.”

jill “Okay…”

streaming “Nope. A bit hot, but not lightheaded. Then again, I’m always hot.”

jill (“Hot-headed.”)

streaming “Your drinks are either too light or I’m more resilient to alcohol than I thought.”

streaming “Okay, let’s try this from a different angle. You ask the questions.”

jill “What kind of questions?”

streaming%20annoyed “I don’t know, I’m not the bartender. Do your bartender-ish thing.”

jill “What made you decide to start streaming yourself 24/7?”

streaming%20excited “See? That’s what I’m talking about. You’re the bartender here, bartender.”

streaming “Anyway, have you ever done something reckless or stupid because of peer pressure?”

jill “I think that’s something everyone has gone through.”

streaming “Well, it used to be that I very rarely succumbed to such problems.”

streaming “I was the type to never take risks or try new things.”

streaming “Every time I did, I was scolded rather than praised.”

streaming “What point is there in doing this stuff if nobody acknowledges you did well?”

streaming “But some time ago I stumbled upon a friend who would stream herself…talking.”

streaming “Nothing risque or noteworthy.”

streaming “She invited me on, and…well…the comments were intoxicating.”

streaming “The internet is a big place. Somehow I found within those comments people that acknowledged me.”

streaming%20excited “They encouraged me, even!”

streaming%20excited “After that stream, I tried doing some by myself.”

streaming “I turned on the camera, put on something cutesy and started dancing to ✩Kira✩ Miki.”

streaming “At first, I pretended the camera wasn’t there but as soon as I saw the comments…”

streaming “Something snapped within me.”

streaming%20excited “Lewd comments, praises, the usual random stuff…”

streaming%20excited “After seeing so many people interested in me, I started moving a lot more. No more shyness for me.”

streaming%20excited “After that I started doing more. I sang, I cooked, I drew things, I even did a striptease at some point.”

streaming%20excited “Whenever I was streaming, I stopped being shy.”

streaming%20excited “So, at some point I said, “Hey, this is the way I wanna live all my life”.”

streaming%20excited “And thus Streaming-chan was born.”

And mankind would learn real fear that day.

jill “Is it difficult to keep that up?”

streaming “Not really. It’s not like I’m acting or anything. I’m just being myself.”

streaming “I do need to mind camera angles and that kind of stuff sometimes, but it’s nothing major.”

streaming “And when do I need to mind that? For only $99.99 a month you can find out. Go Premium, Go!”

streaming%20excited “…hey! You’re good at this bartending stuff. Look at all the things you’ve made me say.”

jill “Well…”

streaming “Like, seriously. What’s your secret?”

streaming “How do you get people to talk?”

jill “I never do that much, actually.”

jill “Well, this is a bar after all.”

jill “And one of the reasons people come to a bar is because, they sometimes want to get things off their chests.”

streaming “So it’s not a conscious trick you could teach in a ten minute tutorial?”

jill “Nope.”

jill “You just need to be in the right place at the right time.”

jill “Some professions make you that personal stranger others feel comfortable telling their secrets to.”

jill “…of course, discretion helps too.”

streaming “Hey, now that you mention it, I do blab a lot to my hairdresser.”

streaming “Pretty interesting stuff.”

streaming “Well, no wild night tonight. But it did get interesting though.”

streaming%20excited “Anyway, I should go. But before I leave, what’s your name, Ms. Bartender?”

jill “…I’m Lana Smithee.”

streaming “Alright, Ms. Smithee. Thank you for a lovely night.”

streaming “Whoa! The floor is moving…”

gil “Quite the lively girl, eh?”

jill “People like her physically hurt me with their presence…”

gil “You think she’ll come back?”

jill “My mom always says, “You never know when the angels are saying ‘amen’”.”

gil “What does that mean?”

jill “It means shut your mouth or you’ll jinx it.”

gil “Why didn’t you give her your name?”

jill “Would you like to reveal your name to someone like her?”

gil “Good point…”

jill “I’m gonna take my break now. It’s been a while since I’ve needed a cigarette this badly…”

gil “Alright.”

kollontai420 · May 4, 2018, 1:19am

jill “All done.”

jill “Fresh air does wonders for you.”

???: “I insist that it sounds like dynamite.”

???: “No, it was too long to be dynamite. It sounded more like some heavy-duty tool.”

???: “You’re a heavy duty tool.”

???: “Yes, I am.”

???: “Wait, that…dammit!”

jill “Oh, welcome back.”

betty “Hey, bartender. What did that noise just now sound like to you?”

deal “I say it sounds like construction, but Betty here says it’s dynamite or something like that.”

jill “Not you too…”

deal “Eh? Do you think it’s dynamite then?”

jill “What? No, I say it’s a backfire.”

gil “It’s a gunshot.”

dana%20regular “Firecrackeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers!”

jill “sigh See? Those sounds have been going on all night and we can’t figure out what they are.”

betty “Well, we aren’t here to discuss that. We’re here to…”

betty%20annoyed “Um…who is he?”

gil “Gillian. Nice to meet you.”

betty%20annoyed “I don’t know, you have more of a John face.”

betty%20annoyed “Where was he last weekend?”

jill “I don’t know, and I don’t care. He already made amends for leaving me to fend off all those dogs.”

jill “Anyway, what do you want?”

betty “Beer.”

deal “Oh, what the hell. I’ll have a beer too.”

jill “Two Beers coming right up.”

deal “Thank you.”

betty “Man, after-work Beer is always the best Beer.”

jill “Yeah.”

betty “So tell me, bartender…”

jill “Just call me Jill.”

betty “Jill? That’s a nice name.”

betty “How’s business lately?”

jill “As usual.”

jill “Wait, I guess you don’t really know what “usual” means for us.”

jill “Um…we’re not the kind to be filled to the brim during rush hours and we don’t have that many regulars.”

jill “So…it’s just the same. Nothing’s changed.”

betty “I guess when we came here with all the dogs, it was quite the change of pace, huh?”

jill “You have no idea.”

jill “So, what brings you here today?”

deal “I suggested coming here after work.”

betty “It’s Friday. A drink to kick off the weekend is one of those little things that makes life worthwhile.”

betty “But he did only suggest it after I found him hugging a stuffed Corgi in his office.”

jill “A…stuffed Corgi?”

deal “A plushie. Not an overfed dog.”

jill “I see…”

jill “Wait, you have an office?”

deal “Yeah, what’s weird about that?”

jill “I thought you’d have a cubicle…or a kennel.”

deal “A kennel…”

jill “I mean, you don’t hear much about office boys getting their own offices.”

betty “It’s not hard, considering the rest of the staff don’t use chairs or tables. Even I have my own office.”

jill “I don’t know about that. The mess they left in the bathroom usually requires someone with thumbs.”

jill “Chairs and tables seem like lesser evils.”

jill “And you’re the veterinarian after all…”

deal “A kennel…”

betty “What about a kennel?”

deal “I don’t know, I just thought it’d be cute if one day I went to work and they had one waiting for me.”

deal “Like they saw me as one of them.”

betty%20embarrassed “…”

jill “So…w-where did you get that plushie?”

betty “Oh, I gave it to him.”

betty “It was my gift last Mega Christmas.”

jill “Wait…so he got defensive over being caught hugging a gift you gave him?”

betty “That’s the funniest part. He acted like I didn’t know he had it.”

betty%20embarrassed “I was just glad he was enjoying it, you know?”

deal “Why are you two talking like I’m not here?”

betty “Because you’re not giving any input anyway.”

jill “So, how’s stuff up at Doglandia?”

deal “Well, we recently struck a deal with Farmer Fabrics to start a doggie clothing line.”

jill “Farmer Fabrics? That name rings a bell…”

betty “It’s that textile company where the owner believes herself to be an alpaca.”

jill “Oh…yeah. That one.”

jill “We had her here some time ago. She got drunk and…”

jill “…so much saliva everywhere.”

betty “Oh…”

jill “B-But anyway, dog clothes?”

deal “We hired a new employee and she showed the higher ups some designs.”

deal “After a couple of talks, they decided to give the clothing production a try.”

betty%20embarrassed “Those designs were embarrassing, you know?”

betty%20embarrassed “But something tells me that’s why they were approved.”

jill “You guys want anything else?”

betty “I’ll have whatever this guy orders.”

deal “Let’s see…I’ll have a Brandtini.”

jill “Two Brandtinis then.”

betty “You have such a…wimpy taste in drinks, Deal.”

deal “Not all of us spent their weekends in college partying like maniacs.”

deal “Actually, not all of us went to college.”

betty%20embarrassed “You missed nothing. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and kick myself.”

betty%20embarrassed “Hm…”

deal “Something on your mind?”

betty%20embarrassed “That girl that’s designing the clothes…”

deal “Laura? What about her?”

betty%20embarrassed “She’s cute, but she should take more care in her appearance.”

betty%20embarrassed “I mean, right now she fits the “unkempt cutie” category so well that it’s almost painful.”

betty%20annoyed “It’s so cliched that I can’t help but cringe when looking at her.”

deal “Cringe?”

betty%20annoyed “It’s like when you see something that’s such a cheesy movie cliche…”

betty%20annoyed “…you just feel the need to kick whatever the hell it is.”

deal “K-Kick?”

deal “Betty, I didn’t think I’d have to say this to you twice in the same month but…you shouldn’t kick people.”

betty%20embarrassed “I wasn’t gonna kick her. Why’d you think I’d kick her?”

deal “Because I’ve seen you kick people before.”

deal “Apparently unprovoked or due to complicated reasons only you understand.”

betty “Fine. Guilty as charged.”

betty “Still, I’m gonna do something about her. I feel like I just need to.”

betty “It’s a matter of honor.”

deal “Honor, she says…”

betty%20annoyed “Well, maybe honor isn’t the right word.”

betty%20annoyed “But she has potential and I’m not going to let her waste it.”

betty “She’s your boss, right?”

jill “Didn’t you meet her before?”

betty “Nope, I’m just the veterinarian. The dogs were the ones that organized a meeting with her.”

betty%20annoyed “I’d say she’s really good looking. But honestly, those pants rob her of her charm.”

jill “What do you mean?”

betty%20annoyed “They make her look too uptight…and at a glance, she doesn’t seem like the type.”

betty%20annoyed “Some shorts or a skirt would fit her better.”

jill “Hm…”

jill “Well, she wears a skirt or pants depending on her mood.”

jill “There was also this one time where she came in wearing a kilt.”

dana%20regular “That kilt was awesome!”

jill (“Damn, she has nice hearing.”)

deal “Now that I think about it…”

deal “You have that hobby of speculating what someone’s personality is like based just on their looks.”

deal “I mean, you did the same with Jill here.”

betty%20annoyed “Amazing, you actually made that sound weird as hell.”

betty%20annoyed “Yes, I have the habit of trying to guess someone’s behavior based on their looks.”

betty%20annoyed “No, it’s not a hobby. You made that sound like I’m some sort of creep.”

deal “I-I did?”

jill “What did you think about me?”

betty “Nothing much, really. Mostly that you were too polite.”

betty “Not a natural polite, though. More like a professional polite. You’re like that because you need to be.”

betty “That was it, really.”

betty “Although the way you looked at me when I said your boss could use a skirt or shorts was interesting.”

betty “You seemed…interested in what I said. Like you’d like to see that scenario.”

jill “You’re thinking too much.”

jill “What do you think about Gil, then?”

betty “Hm…”

gil “…”

betty “Hmhm…”

betty “He’s either a total simpleton or acts like one in a way that consumes the rest of his character.”

gil “Heh…heheh…yeah…”

betty “But anyway, I’m just a veterinarian.”

betty%20embarrassed “My judgement might be clouded by seeing so many furry businessmen.”

betty “Let’s have another round.”

deal “Sounds like a good idea. I’ll have…”

betty%20annoyed “You’ll have something strong. You need to pump some testosterone into your taste in drinks.”

Why do I feel like this line would become even worse if it was written in 2018?

betty%20annoyed “You’ll thank me later. Trust me.”

jill “Then…”

betty%20annoyed “Two strong drinks. Manly drinks. I don’t care which ones.”

deal “Well…”

betty%20annoyed “You shut up.”

betty%20annoyed “Now, drink.”

deal “…”

deal “Nf…”

betty%20annoyed “Oh, man up. You’ll get used to it.”

betty “Hey Jill, has someone ever proposed to you as a prank?”

jill “…”

betty “You know, make you think they’re falling in love with you just to reveal that it was all a prank.”

jill “…”

betty “Jill?”

jill “First year of high school. The guy I had my eyes on for a whole year had asked me out.”

jill “Saturday morning, I go to the meeting place. What do I find? It was all a prank by some bitches.”

betty%20embarrassed “Ouch…”

betty%20embarrassed “Sorry, I-…”

jill “The worst part isn’t that they set me up, but rather that I saw it coming.”

jill “I knew that guy wouldn’t find me attractive enough to ask me out.”

jill “I knew those bitches would target me sooner or later just for kicks.”

jill “I knew it all, so when it all happened I felt nothing.”

jill “They confirmed my suspicions that teenagers are a plague that must be eradicated.”

jill “…”

jill “Anyway, why the question?”

betty%20annoyed “…hey, piece o’ scrap.”

deal “Yeah?”

betty%20annoyed “These are the situations where you should’ve stopped me before I said anything.”

deal “It’s better to learn by tripping yourself.”

jill “Why the question, though?”

betty%20annoyed “U-Um…”

betty “I was asking because one of my exes’ cousins has been hitting on me the past couple of days.”

betty “If it were somebody else, I’d pretend to be straight with the help of this piece o’ scrap here.”

betty “Sadly, she knows who I am.”

betty “Worst part is, knowing Vero, she probably put her cousin up to it as a practical joke.”

jill “Well, I’d suggest telling the cousin that she should cut it out.”

jill “If she feels genuinely offended, they might not have been in cahoots.”

jill “But I’m just spouting nonsense based on what you’ve told me. Don’t pay too much attention.”

betty “It’s better than my suggestion.”

jill “What was yours?”

deal “Waterboarding.”

jill “I se-…what?”

deal “The fact that she knows how to waterboard somebody is what scares me most.”

betty%20annoyed “The Girl Scouts also taught me how to skin a deer, and I see nobody making a fuss about that.”

betty “But yeah, your advice sounds good enough.”

betty “Especially if you factor that if Gina’s being honest about her, she probably won’t feel offended.”

deal “Gina… Which one was that again?”

betty “Blonde, flat as a cutting board but cute as a button.”

deal “Oh yeah…she came to the office Christmas party, right?”

betty “That’s the one.”

betty “Well, it’s getting late. We should be going.”

deal “Yeah.”

deal “Thank you again for everything, Jill.”

jill “Please come again.”

dana%20peeved “Those damned cats moving the internet antenna…”

dana%20peeved “Oh yeah, Gil. Some guy said I should tell you that “the bunny’s late”…whatever that means.”

jill “Shouldn’t we be worried?”

dana%20regular “Think of him as a kid that tells outrageous stories to get attention and everything will be easier.”

dana%20regular “Besides, he knows how to take care of himself.”

jill “Yeah.”

dana%20regular “He’ll be here on Monday like nothing ever happened.”

jill “Ah, Stella. You’re here for another drink today?”

stella%20annoyed “Not really. I was just around the neighborhood, and…”

jill (“Right…”)

stella “A-Anyway, I found this bottle being neglected at my house.”

stella “And I thought someone who likes old liquor as much as you would appreciate it.”

jill “Really? I-I don’t know what to say. Thanks!”

stella “Well, it’s nothing, really…”

jill “Hm?”

newscaster “The Apollo Trust bank has locked its doors, leaving about 30 people trapped inside.”

newscaster “The security system was activated after somebody tried to steal information from the main database.”

newscaster “Early this morning, the bank…”

jill “…”

jill “I wonder if she’ll be alright…”

jill “Ah, hello Jamie.”

jamie “Did you see the news about the Apollo Trust bank?”

jill “The newsflash just ended.”

jill “Sounds like things got ugly.”

jamie “From what I heard, there was a commotion earlier today.”

jamie “Something about people being unable to leave the building.”

jamie “Let’s hope for the best.”

jill “Yeah.”

jill “Gil stormed off just a minute ago, though.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “I see. I guess the bunny was late.”

jill (“He definitely knows what’s going on.”)

jill “What can I get you?”

jamie “Give me a Marsblast.”

jill “Coming right up.”

jamie “Yeah, this is the one.”

jill “Marsblasts have always seemed poorly named to me. Shouldn’t it be red instead of yellow-ish?”

jill “Then again, the whole “Red Planet” thing is still its nickname.”

jill “So, how have you been doing?”

jamie “I was working a contract, actually.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “But the target’s inside the Apollo Trust bank. Figured I’d simply leave him be for now.”

jill “And then you came for a drink.”

jamie “Yeah.”

jill “A part of me wants to ask who your target is, but I’m guessing it’s a secret.”

jamie “I can tell you that it appears to be part of a power struggle somewhere.”

jill “Has a target ever made you a counteroffer to go after the one that sent you?”

jamie “They usually don’t live long enough. I also don’t like it when a target who’s seen my face manages to survive.”

jill “…”

jamie%20embarrassed “What happened?”

jill “N-Nothing, I just suddenly thought…what if someone sent you after me?”

jamie%20embarrassed “I’d reject the contract.”

jill “You would?”

jamie “I don’t ask the name of many people, you know. And I always remember those whose names I’ve asked.”

jamie “They’re real in my eyes.”

jamie “I like to know them better and, to some extent, I care about them.”

jamie “I need that because otherwise…”

jill “Otherwise?”

jamie “…nothing you should concern yourself with.”

jamie “But don’t worry. Unless you suddenly find yourself caught in the middle of a power struggle…”

jamie “The only way I see you becoming tangled in that kind of mess is if you find yourself too involved with gangs.”

jill “Thanks for the advice…I guess.”

jill “Still, the thought of people hiring others to kill somebody is…”

jill “I can’t wrap my head around that, and I don’t want to either.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “The world can be a dark place, Jill.”

jill “Say…do you think the people in the bank will be alright?”

jamie%20sideways%20look “This isn’t the first time a bank has closed like that, but something is…off about this.”

jill “Off? How?”

jamie%20sideways%20look “I don’t know. Maybe it’s the hour. Maybe it’s the fact that the news is making an unusually big stink out of it.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “Let’s hope I’m just overthinking it.”

jill “Yeah.”

jamie “Are you worried about something?”

jill “A girl that was in here yesterday said she was going to that bank.”

jill “It’s not like me to be personally invested in what happens to clients, but…”

jill “Nevermind. Do you want something else?”

jamie “Yeah, I can make time for one more drink.”

jamie “Fetch me a Beer. Let’s keep it simple.”

jill “Sure.”

jamie “I once read that Beer played an important part in humanity’s history.”

jill “Yeah, I’m familiar with the theory. It’s an interesting one.”

jill “The gist of it is that brewing was an important part of society during its development.”

jill “Drinks were ubiquitous while feasting. They helped to foster bonds and build faction alliances.”

jill “Given enough time and enough Beer, larger societies would be born.”

jamie “You seem to know a lot about this.”

jill “Nah, just enough.”

jill “Last time you came, you mentioned something about going haywire.”

jill “What did you mean? I’m intrigued.”

jamie “Have you ever felt like your sanity has slipped right by you?”

jill “Well, a client earlier today was driving me nuts, but aside from that…no.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “Truth be told, neither have I. But I’m afraid of it happening.”

jill “How so?”

jamie%20sideways%20look “I don’t know. I just have the lingering fear that at some point I won’t be myself.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “I’ll go crazy, I’ll wake up a stranger to myself and I won’t care…”

jamie%20sideways%20look “It’s just an irrational fear that lingers in me and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “Like the fear of cockroaches for some people.”

jill “Only instead of fearing a crawling nuisance, you fear lunacy…”

jamie “Something like that.”

jamie “Sometimes I wonder if uploading my brain would solve all those problems.”

jill “Well, that technology is still a ways off.”

jill “I’ve heard of a couple of experiments regarding the technology, but it seems everything’s still too buggy.”

jamie “I’ll have to wait until it’s safe, then…”

jill “Until then, don’t worry too much about those possibilities unless they’re tangible enough.”

jill “Otherwise, you’re no better than a hypochondriac.”

jamie “Good point.”

jill “The way you said it makes it sound less like something you feel might happen.”

jill “Something you’re just afraid COULD happen at some point.”

jamie “That’s pretty much it, yeah.”

jill “Doesn’t that make you saner? I mean…”

jill “Were you really on your way to becoming an unhinged maniac, I don’t know if you’d think about it at all.”

jamie “Hm…you might have a point there.”

jamie “Well then. Nice talking to you, Jill.”

jill “Same here. Always a pleasure.”

jill “Please come again.”

jill “Phew…all done.”

jill “Thanks, but I’ll pass. I have a couple of matters to attend to at home.”

dana%20regular “You do?”

jill “Yeah, I ordered a Nanocamo module for my apartment. It should be installed by now.”

dana%20regular “Nanocamo? Isn’t that a tad expensive?”

jill “Yup. To be honest I asked my mom for it.”

jill “She had been pestering me about what gift I wanted for Mega Christmas for a while.”

jill “She’s been asking that for four years now and I’ve always said I was fine.”

jill “So I…took the chance and asked her for it. Used up all the past gifts.”

dana%20regular “Oh.”

jill “Feels a bit weird to ask your parents for a gift like that when you’re 27.”

dana%20regular “I’m sure she doesn’t mind.”

dana%20regular “So, what will the Nanocamo module change from your apartment?”

jill “I got the basic plan: Walls and one piece of cloth. So I picked my kotatsu too.”

dana%20regular “You have a kotatsu?”

Nerd.

jill “You know what a kotatsu is, Boss?”

dana%20regular “I’m more impressed you know what it is.”

dana%20regular “I mean, futons are common knowledge, but a kotatsu…not so much.”

jill “Yeah, well. Days get cold and the heater might not be enough.”

jill “And the Japanese have mastered how to live comfortably in reduced spaces.”

dana%20regular “You should invite me sometime, I wanna see how you decorate the place with that.”

jill “Let’s plan a day to grab a Beer, yeah.”

jill “Well, I gotta go.”

jill “See you tomorrow, Boss.”

dana%20regular “Careful out there.”

kollontai420 · May 12, 2018, 1:27am

And no one is reporting on it.

Are you actually surprised?

Considering the nature of their threats, it’s clear that QUINCY doesn’t want to take the blame.

What a fucking coward.

Do we have any sources there?

I’m posting from the site, it looks like someone’s inside the bank with a huge bomb threatening to blow up the building.

Any demands?

They want QUINCY to quit and the White Knights disbanded.

wow

So they’re actually helping the protestors?

uhm…That’s not the way to help the people.

What if this is just a huge false flag to blame the opposition?

I wouldn’t be surprised.

This fucking place, lol.

Let’s wait for more info.

This thread is closed

Streaming-chan went nuts last night, where the hell is she now?

I don’t even recognize the place she’s at right now.

It doesn’t look pretty either.

At least she’s getting some rest.

What did I miss?

Streaming-chan went to Valhalla, got a bit drunk and got the hell out of there all hyper, tried to steal snacks from a vending machine but the thing defended itself with an electric shock.

I’m going to marry Streaming-chan!

That’s freaking nuts.

You just don’t mess with those things.

She fell asleep from the shock.

As expected of Streaming-chan!

I just hope nothing happens to her while she lays there.

falls asleep at a shoddy backstreet in glitch city

She’ll be fine.

This thread is closed

I’m fucking crying right now, let me tell you the story.

Waiting for OP to deliver…

I’m here…anyway, here it goes.

I was going home after buying groceries from the store, I was very tired because I had to line up for hours just to buy milk, and when I’m finally out of there a group of three White Knights stopped me and starting asking for my ID, and also wanted to see my bag to check if I wasn’t a scalper, and once they saw everything was in order…they asked me for a military service ID, and just…what the fuck? why would I have that on me? and there’s no enforced conscription anymore, IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE, and because I didn’t have it on me they asked for money or else they’d plant drugs on me. I of course refused, but they’d lose their patience and one of them hit me right in my temple with a gun, I was bleeding like crazy on the floor so they just took my groceries and left…

Holy shit man…I fucking hate this place, I hate it so much…I WANT TO LEAVE THIS FUCKING HELL HOLE, I’m so tired of this shit every fucking day.

This thread is closed

Hijacked screens at downtown Casanova announced what seems to be a terrorist threat aimed at the Apollo Trust Bank. The information suggests that a currently unidentified bomber is currently inside the building.

The White Knights’ Counter Terrorism Unit responded to the threat immediately. However, the bank was then locked down by an external network attack.

”We might be dealing with a dual threat here”, CTU’s Chloe Bauer told AE. “The bank has been sealed shut using its own Disaster Prevention System. However, none of the terminals at the bank were working at the time; The building is basically sealed at this point. The hostages are trapped.”

Hi everyone.

We take your security seriously here at The Augmented Eye, and we have the obligation to disclose that recent articles on Alice_Rabbit were vandalized by who we think is Alice_Rabbit themselves, or a very good impersonator.

We want to extend our apologies and inform that we’ll be limiting our coverage of Alice_Rabbit to just factual news and not entertainment pieces.

Sincerely, the AE Staff.

Even though most countries in the world have adapted their economies to solve the ongoing problem of climate change, Glitch City still relies on ancient technologies in order to keep costs low and profits high.

As a result of this backwards policy, it seems as though we’ll be experiencing a huge increase in air pollution next year.

”Our contamination levels will force the whole population to move away from a lot of areas within the city. The soil is dying at an alarming pace,” said experts in a report.

Having to buy special raincoats and umbrellas does suck, but experts say you better get used to it.

jill “Things at the Apollo Bank are getting ugly, so that means more people will be looking for a drink.”

dana%20blushing “sigh You can take a break, you know? You’re quite the hard worker.”

dana%20peeved “And the streets are not exactly…safe right now.”

jill “They’ve never been when you get down to it.”

jill “And besides, I can’t afford to not come with the bar closing soon.”

dana%20regular “I wonder if any bar has used impending closure as a means of getting their employees to work.”

dana%20regular “Seems like the total opposite would happen.”

jill “Not to mention I get bored out of my brains in my apartment, so I’d rather come here, anyway.”

dana%20regular “What did you say?”

jill “Nothing important.”

jill “Gil isn’t back yet?”

dana%20regular “Nope. I wouldn’t worry too much about him though.”

jill “If you say so…”

dana%20regular “Say, what’s this bottle?”

jill “A client gave it to me yesterday…a gift of sorts, I’m guessing.”

dana%20regular “Oh, cool.”

jill “It’s some sort of rum.”

dana%20regular “Rum? Nice!”

jill “Want me to serve you a bit of it?”

dana%20regular “Hm…yeah, sure!”

dana%20regular “Alright!”

jill “Anytime.”

jill “Okay then…”

jill “Time to serve mix and change lives.”

jill “Wait…that’s not how it goes.”

jill “…”

jill (“sigh No one here to retort.”)

jill (“Man, it feels lonely without Gil here…”)

jill (“I just hope the restlessness in the streets doesn’t lead to dangerous or weird types coming in here.”)

jill (“Holy shit, that was a record-breaking jinx!”)

jill “W-Welcome to Valhalla. What can I get you?”

taylor “I’ll have a Blue Fairy.”

jill (“Don’t make a joke about becoming real… Don’t make a joke about becoming real…”)

jill “On it.”

taylor “Nice, yeah. This is the thing.”

jill “So…um…how are you gonna…?”

jill “Oh…you can grab stuff. Should’ve figured as much.”

jill “You can drink stuff?”

taylor “And eat. I have the same system Lilim do.”

jill “Can I ask you something um…er…Misssssssssssss…”

taylor “Call me Taylor. Just…Taylor.”

taylor “And yes, a cutie like you can ask me anything.”

jill “Ok Taylor.”

taylor “You have to be the first person I’ve met that didn’t go “Okay, Just Taylor”.”

jill (“Nah, too easy.”)

jill “You are…a brain in a jar, right?”

taylor “I’m sure not a hologram, of that I’m sure.”

taylor “Yup, I’m a bonafide human brain in a jar.”

jill “So… How…? Why…?”

taylor “What? Does my handsomeness make you speechless?”

jill “You’re not something a girl sees every day. And that’s saying quite a bit in these parts.”

taylor “Fear not! For I have a speech prepared for these situations.”

jill “A speech?”

taylor “You’re seeing one of the 5 Great Living Bottled Brains of the world.”

taylor “We are brains living in conditions that allow us to exist as any other humanoid creature.”

taylor “All while computers in our jars scan our activities.”

taylor “In a slow but steady manner, we are helping the world understand the inner workings of nature’s most complex computer.”

jill “I’m guessing you prepared that after being asked the same question too many times, huh?”

taylor “Not out of exasperation or anything like that, mind you.”

taylor “I just wanted to have something thoughtful prepared.”

taylor “Look! I even have a couple of pamphlets with me.”

taylor “You want one?”

jill “Sure…”

jill “What brings one of our world’s five brains in jars to this place though?”

taylor “Oh, I’m from around here, actually.”

taylor “I just wanted to take a walk for the first time in…quite a bit of time.”

jill “Have you come here before?”

taylor “Sadly, no. Otherwise I’d remember a cute face like yours.”

taylor “Speaking of which, can I have your name?”

jill “Um…it’s Jill.”

taylor “Jill? That’s a really cute name.”

jill “Thank you.”

jill “Say, weren’t you scared of going outside today? What with the commotion around and all…”

taylor “It didn’t stop you from coming here either, did it?”

jill “Yeah, you’re right.”

taylor “It’s gonna take more than cryptic but ominous news to stop me.”

jill “You’re awfully energetic, did you know that?”

taylor “Sorry, does that bother you?”

jill “No, not at all. Just that I figured a brain in a jar wouldn’t be so…happy.”

taylor “While I was alive, my body got to a point where there wasn’t much I could do.”

taylor “This new state of existence allows me to accomplish more than I ever could before.”

taylor “Plus, I’m doing something that’ll help people in the long run.”

taylor “Wouldn’t you be happy?”

jill “I wonder…”

taylor “Do you wanna make me happy, Jill?”

jill “Depends on what it takes.”

taylor “Don’t worry. Just give me a Beer.”

jill “Alright, then yeah. I’ll make you happy.”

taylor “Ah yes…no matter what happens, Beer’s always good.”

jill “Hey, Taylor. May I ask something a bit…indiscreet?”

taylor “You can ask anything you want.”

jill “While you had your other body…were you male or female?”

taylor “Hm…that’s actually quite the question.”

taylor “Especially considering I don’t really know the answer either.”

jill “You don’t?”

taylor “I mean, I remember my name WAS Taylor.”

taylor “In fact, I remember every detail of my life, but that’s the one thing that’s a bit blurry.”

jill “Blurry?”

taylor “Yeah, the team that put me here said that it might be a side effect of the whole process…”

taylor “But my family and friends say that even in life I didn’t put too much thought into questions about gender.”

taylor “So, in the end we’re back to square one.”

jill “Wait, you don’t have pics or anything else?”

taylor “To be honest, I’ve chosen to not look too deeply into my old identity.”

taylor “Partly because I’m happier in this ambiguous state.”

taylor “But also because I have this gut feeling I’m not psychologically prepared to see what I looked like.”

taylor “I don’t know…I feel like if I do I might…crumble.”

jill “Damn…”

jill “Just out of curiosity, in a third person scenario…how should one refer to you?”

taylor “By my name.”

jill “I guess that makes sense…”

taylor “If you absolutely need to use pronouns, refer to me like you’d refer to any other house appliance.”

taylor “A TV or anything like that. An “it”.”

jill “Are you okay with that?”

taylor “In the end, even if I can speak, I’m just an object.”

taylor “That’s actually something I’ve internalized a long time ago. Even with my original body.”

jill “I-I see…”

taylor “If that doesn’t make you comfortable, feel free to use neutral pronouns.”

taylor “To be honest, you can refer to me however you want. I don’t really pay mind to that.”

jill “But this isn’t about what makes me comfortable…”

taylor “You know what the downside to this body is?”

taylor “I can’t get drunk.”

jill “If you want to call that a downside…”

taylor “If you wanted to drink alcohol for the taste, there are many alternatives.”

taylor “Drunkenness is part of the whole experience.”

jill “Why though? Lilim can get drunk with no problem.”

taylor “Yeah, but in their case, their brain’s a computer attached to their body.”

taylor “Getting drunk causes their brains to reduce the input speed to their bodies.”

taylor “Depending on the model, their “drunk-subroutine” might throw in a different behavioral cycle, even.”

taylor “It’s hard to get drunk when the whole point of you being in a jar is figuring out how exactly YOU work.”

jill “Hm…yeah, you’re right.”

???: “Hey Jill!”

jill “Oh, Alma.”

jill “Welcome to Valhalla. What can I get you?”

jill “…happy?”

alma%20concerned “Not when you put it that way.”

taylor “Why, hello there, beautiful.”

alma%20upset “Hm? WhoAAAAAAAAH!”

taylor “You hurt my feelings with that, darling.”

alma%20sideways%20look “S-S-Sorry, you don’t see talking disembodied brains every day…”

alma%20sideways%20look “I mean, I did work a summer in Lilim maintenance but even then, those were talking heads…”

taylor “Oh, don’t worry about it. At least you’re not running or fainting.”

taylor “Your name was Alma, right? I’m Taylor.”

alma “N-Nice to meet you, Taylor.”

taylor “Say, Alma. Can I buy you a drink?”

alma%20embarrassed “Sorry, I only date people who’re at least 50% organic…and have at least one face.”

taylor “Hm…I know just what to strive for, then!”

taylor “Just kidding. It’d make me happy to make you happy by buying you a drink. Does that bother you?”

alma “I guess if Jill’s the bartender, I don’t have a problem with that.”

taylor “Awesome! I’ll pay for your next drink then.”

jill “What will you have?”

alma “I’ll have a Cobalt Velvet.”

jill “And you, Taylor?”

taylor “I’m fine, actually.”

alma “You’re gonna have me drink alone?”

taylor “I don’t wanna drink that much.”

jill “Okay, then…”

taylor “Hope you enjoy it.”

alma%20smiling “You know, you’ve been nicer to me these past minutes than at least three guys have been in the last year.”

taylor “Judging from the way you two talk, I’m guessing you’ve been a client here for a while now, right?”

alma “Only for about half a year or so, if memory serves right.”

taylor “Really? One would think it’s been longer.”

jill “sigh It feels like it’s been longer.”

alma%20amused “Shut up, you love me and you know it.”

taylor “So, you just started coming here and that was it?”

alma “Well, the first time I came here, the other guy…speaking of which, where’s Pablo?”

jill “Gillian.”

alma “Archimedes.”

jill “Dunno. Adventuring or something.”

alma “Anyways, the other guy served me the first time I came here. Nothing unusual there.”

alma “The next time I showed up, Jill here was the one serving and…I don’t know, I feel like she just gets me.”

alma%20smiling “There’s this…chemistry. We…click.”

jill “”We click”, she says…”

alma%20embarrassed “The fact that I feel more chemistry with her than with many other people is kinda sad, though.”

taylor “It’s always good to see a nice friendship.”

taylor “Sadly, it’s getting late and I’ve gotta go.”

jill “Please come again.”

alma%20smiling “That Taylor sure was nice.”

jill “A bit weird at first, though.”

jill “Apparently one of five brains being studied by scientists or something.”

jill “There’s a summary of it in this pamphlet.”

alma “Let’s see…”

alma “Oh yeah, I’ve heard of them before. Can’t believe I actually met one.”

jill “Say Alma, how many people are there in your family? Just curious.”

Some minor misgendering up ahead.

alma%20sideways%20look “Well, aside from my mom and dad, we’re five sis-…sorry, four sisters and one brother.”

alma “Funnily enough, we all have names that start with the first five letters in the alphabet.”

jill “So you’re the eldest one?”

alma “No, I’m actually the middle kid.”

jill “You’re the middle kid but your name starts with an A?”

alma%20concerned “Don’t think too much about it. I never said the order reflected our ages.”

alma “My sister Carlotta’s the eldest one, then there’s Dayana just before me.”

alma “Then comes Eva and at the bottom lies Bele-…”

alma%20embarrassed “ahem Sorry. The youngest one is Bernardo.”

jill “You’ve never been alone, I’m guessing.”

alma “Can’t complain about that, I guess…”

alma “It helps that we were never five in the same house.”

alma “By the time Evita and Bernie were born, Dayana and Carlotta had already moved.”

alma%20sideways%20look “Speaking of family. Today, I came because I needed a break from everything that’s been going on with them.”

jill “Do you live with them?”

alma “No, but Evita and Bernie do. Not to mention I visit them almost every day.”

alma “Anyway, my second-eldest sister, Dayana, just separated from her husband.”

alma%20sideways%20look “It’s not even been a week but she’s already got some other guy in her bed.”

alma%20sideways%20look “She left her kid with her husband’s parents and pretty much forgot about them.”

alma%20embarrassed “Nevermind the fact that they need to go to school and all that.”

jill “Damn…”

alma%20embarrassed “Dayana’s life has always been messy, but these days she’s really making it big.”

alma%20embarrassed “She wants “time for herself.” To “live her life.””

alma%20concerned “She didn’t think about that when she married the guy at 20.”

alma%20concerned “She didn’t think about that when marrying a guy she had only known for three months.”

jill “You should take your own advice.”

alma%20concerned “Hey, I’d never marry someone who could catch my attention so quickly, okay?”

alma%20confused “Sure, there was that one time when it almost happened, but I blame the damn stadium kiss cam.”

jill “Kiss cam?”

alma “I was going out with a guy my little sister introduced to me.”

alma “Seems he was her friend’s brother or something.”

alma “We went out a couple of times and he invited me to a basketball game.”

alma “The mood was nice but then later, the kiss cam focused on us and instead of kissing me, he proposed!”

alma%20sideways%20look “I almost got caught in the mood and accepted.”

jill “Huh.”

jill “So I take it you rejected him…in a stadium…on the fucking kiss cam.”

Normal response to manipulative behavior like that, imo.

alma%20concerned “We went out for like 3 weeks!”

alma%20concerned “I don’t know. Maybe he wanted to get in my pants with the old “sex on the wedding night” line.”

alma%20embarrassed “But I honest-to-god can’t understand why he thought it would be a good idea.”

jill “That sounds too convoluted, you know? Proposing and waiting for the wedding night just for sex.”

alma%20concerned “Never underestimate the lengths a man is willing to go to get you in their bed.”

alma%20concerned “I’ve seen more convoluted plots over the years.”

jill “I’m feeling tempted to ask. But I’ll pass.”

jill “Want anything else?”

alma “Hm? What’s that bottle?”

jill “Oh yeah, it’s just some rum a client gave me yesterday.”

alma “A gift? What did you do?”

jill “A good enough service, I’m guessing.”

alma ”Ca…ci…que.”

alma “Huh, interesting name.”

jill “What does it mean?”

alma “Cacique’s the name of the chieftain in some native tribes.”

jill “I see. Do you want me to serve you some of this?”

alma%20sideways%20look “I’ll pass. I don’t have too many good memories where rum’s involved.”

alma “Get me a Fringe Weaver instead, will you?”

jill “Alright.”

jill “What kind of memories do you have with rum?”

alma “Nothing you need to worry about.”

jill “Okay.”

alma%20smiling “Alright, now’s my turn to ask questions.”

jill “About what?”

alma “What kind of family is your family?”

jill “Well…”

jill “I’m an only child. My mom and dad split amicably.”

jill “My mom is a violinist, so she was always away from home with the orchestra.”

jill “I spent most of the time with my dad, my aunt, and my grandpa.”

jill “Aside from that, I’d say my childhood was quite uneventful.”

alma “Huh…didn’t you get something like your mom’s artistic vein or something?”

jill “I played the violin until I was around 16, I think.”

alma “What made you stop?”

jill “I don’t know. I just kinda said “That’s it!” one day and stopped.”

alma “What about cousins or the rest of your family?”

jill “I see very little of them, actually.”

jill “Mainly because my dad moved away from most of them. Most of my mom’s family live in France to boot.”

alma “So your mom’s French?”

jill “Yup.”

alma “Can you speak French?”

jill “Mon aeroglisseur est plein d’anguilles.”

alma%20smiling “Ooooh, what does that mean?”

jill “Rubbish? I don’t know. I can’t speak French.”

jill “I did try though, but college started and I stopped taking classes.”

jill “Funny thing, I actually have a cousin from my mom’s side that lives close by.”

jill “But you’ll be hard-pressed to make me spot him in a crowd.”

alma “You’re kinda lucky, you know? All of my mom’s side of the family lives here.”

alma “The chances of me meeting someone I’m related to on the street are ridiculously high.”

jill “But yeah, that’s the primer on my family. Nothing too interesting, sadly.”

alma “Your mom’s a French violinist and you call that uninteresting?”

jill “I’m wondering if your family has ever made a fuss about you being a hacker.”

alma “”Hacker” makes it sound too exotic. It’s like if I called you a mixologist.”

jill “Please don’t, ever. Sounds like something somebody would say to make “bartender” sound sophisticated.”

alma%20smiling “See?”

alma “I mean, “hacker” is a good way to summarize it, but it’s not the best. I’m a security consultant.”

alma “People want to find flaws in the security of their systems and I do my best to pinpoint where it breaks.”

alma “Be it Glitch City or anywhere else in the world. They need security, I’m their woman.”

jill “You’ve told quite a few stories about cracking into databases to retrieve info like some sort of mercenary, though.”

alma%20confused “…that doesn’t change the fact that “hacker” is not the best term to use.”

alma%20confused “Makes the whole thing sound illegal when it’s actually an honest job.”

jill “Didn’t you tell me you once secured some incriminating pics from a guy’s cellphone?”

alma%20embarrassed “A MOSTLY honest job. Sheesh.”

jill “What made you become a hacker, by the way?”

alma “I’ve always been a sucker for puzzles.”

alma “Even as a kid, I always had a sudoku or crossword with me.”

alma “But at some point, they started feeling kinda same-y.”

alma “So…when I started college, I took a course on system security. It felt like the kind of puzzle I was looking for.”

alma “I mean, there are all kinds of things involved in breaching net security.”

alma “You need to attack the stuff from different angles.”

alma “And it’s something that’s always evolving. The whole point of everything is to strengthen security.”

alma “Every time you think you’ve got the gist of it, they change everything.”

alma “So it’s kinda like an always-evolving puzzle.”

alma “A puzzle I help make harder at that.”

jill “Huh…I didn’t think about it that way.”

alma “It is less action-y than what movies make it up to be, though…”

alma “No real-time frantic typing. Nothing like that.”

alma%20smiling “Still, seeing my code break through something… It’s an amazing feeling.”

jill “Will you have anything else?”

alma “Hm…I’ll have a classy drink. Any classy drink.”

jill “Here goes nothing…”

alma%20smiling “Yup, just what I needed. Thanks.”

alma “Say, Jill. What’s the worst that could happen if you don’t get your drinks right?”

jill “Well…people have the right to not give me money.”

jill “If they don’t pay for it, I don’t get my bonus.”

jill “No bonus means less money and no tips…which doesn’t help because I have to pay bills.”

alma “Oh, I see…”

jill “Do you have to make an effort to pay your bills?”

alma “Nope.”

jill “You have no idea how much I hate you right now.”

alma%20confused “Well, my job pays pretty well, and I’m not the kind to spend too much on things other than food and bills.”

alma%20confused “Maybe maintenance on my hands and new equipment, but aside from that…”

alma%20smiling “Oh, I know! If you have trouble with bills, why not live with me?”

alma%20smiling “We could be roommates!”

jill “Dunno.”

jill “Moving my stuff through the stairs because the elevator’s broken…”

jill “Having to move my liquor collection…”

jill “Nevermind the fact that my cat’s a shut-in that got VERY upset the one time I moved some furniture around.”

jill “The idea of moving just gives me a headache.”

alma%20embarrassed “You shouldn’t take things so seriously when I say them, you know?”

jill “I don’t, but I’ve thought about it before.”

jill “Now, I need some air. I’m gonna take my break. You wanna come?”

alma “Are you inviting me to the back of the bar? You should invite me to dinner first.”

jill “Every minute you waste making jokes is time taken from my break.”

alma%20smiling “Fine, let’s go.”

jill “Boss, I’m taking my break. Call me if anyone comes in.”

kollontai420 · May 12, 2018, 1:30am

jill “It’s kinda refreshing.”

alma “The hobo out there seems like a nice guy.”

jill “Billy Vine? Yeah, he’s a cool guy. Very respectful.”

jill “Apparently he got into some legal trouble and that’s why he’s like that.”

alma “Really?”

jill “He could also just be a very nice crackhead, though.”

alma “I have a cousin that lives like a hobo, actually.”

jill “Really?”

alma%20embarrassed “It’s a bit complicated though.”

alma%20embarrassed “Problem is, his family has tried to get him to live with them, but his pride won’t let him accept their help.”

alma%20embarrassed “He’d rather live on the streets for some reason.”

jill “You can’t tell with some people, sadly.”

jill “Why did he become a hobo in the first place?”

alma “Bad investments and debts. Bank evicted him from his house.”

jill “Oh…”

alma “It’s a serious problem because he has epileptic attacks but refuses to take his medication.”

alma “I just don’t get what’s up with him.”

Yet more Dorothy stuff.

dorothy “Hoooooneeeeeyyyyy. Some seeeerviiiiice heeeeeeeeere.”

jill “I’m here. Don’t scream.”

jill “Just talking.”

dorothy%20flirty “Is that what they call it these days?”

jill “…what do you want?”

dorothy%20flirty “Something soft, something sweet. No alcohol, please.”

jill “Wouldn’t it be the same if you just grabbed a soda from a vending machine?”

dorothy%20crying “But I like you-u-u-u-u-u-u.”

dorothy%20crying “Do you dislike my presence so much?”

I don’t know about Jill but I certainly do.

jill “…”

jill “Sweet and non-alcoholic, you say? Alright…”

dorothy%20flirty “See? You don’t get this kind of treatment from vending machines!”

dorothy “…unless you’re Lawrence.”

dorothy%20upset "But he has this weird idea that good service is the same as serving lukewarm cans of cola.”

jill “Lawrence?”

dorothy “A friend of mine. He’s a vending machine.”

jill “Oh…”

dorothy “Oh, but how impolite of me.”

alma “Hm?”

dorothy%20smiling “I’m lovely and my name’s Dorothy. Dorothy Haze. Nice to meet you!”

alma “Oh. I’m Alma. The pleasure’s mine.”

alma “Dorothy, you say?”

dorothy%20smiling “Eeyup, why?”

alma%20smiling “Nothing, I guess I’ve heard about you before.”

dorothy “Really? What kind of stuff! Tell me! Tell me!”

alma%20sideways%20look “Mostly about your…umm…pluckiness.”

dorothy “And here I was thinking it’s because I’m a sex worker.”

alma%20embarrassed “…so much for trying to be subtle.”

dorothy%20pout “Hey, I take pride in my job. Otherwise I wouldn’t be doing it.”

alma “Isn’t it dangerous?”

dorothy%20pout “I know how to take care of myself, thank you very much.”

dorothy “Where do you work, Alma?”

alma “I’m a hacker.”

dorothy “Really? A full-fledged hacker?”

dorothy “Not the kind that sees a computer logged into some account and says that’s hacking, right?”

alma “No, of course not.”

dorothy “I’ve always been curious about how being a hacker works.”

dorothy “Do you just start typing really fast while waiting for something to happen?”

alma%20embarrassed “No…”

alma “I can explain, but I don’t know if you’ll get it.”

dorothy “We don’t know until you try, right?”

dorothy “Last time I said that I had to jam the plastic replica of a halogen light bulb up a grown man’s ass.”

dorothy%20smiling “It was a success!”

alma “ahem Okay then…let me try to explain in general how it works.”

alma “Let’s say I have to retrieve information from a company’s database.”

dorothy “Alright!”

alma “First I do some research on the target. OS, servers, how the information is stored and all that.”

alma “There’ve been a couple occasions when I’ve had to go in blind, but they’re the exception rather than the rule.”

alma “First, I secure things from my side.”

alma “I start working behind proxies, website, and through other more vulnerable computers I find on the way.”

dorothy “Uh-huh…”

alma “After that I start testing the networks.”

alma “I go through the basic protocols, try known exploits as long as they don’t trigger any alarm.”

alma “Once I’ve tested the ground, the fun starts.”

alma “I go through all the security protocols and look to bypass them.”

alma “Sometimes I have to look deeper into the code for the password itself.”

dorothy “I-I see…”

alma “Then, when I’m finally in, I go and retrieve user privileges.”

alma “After that, I go and try to become a super-user and get what I need.”

dorothy “H-How…do you do that?”

alma “Well, there are a couple of ways…”

alma “I can use a premade program to hack into an already existing account.”

alma “I can use info someone already gave me…”

alma “But the usual way is using a buffer overflow.”

dorothy “B-Buff…”

dorothy “What happens next?! WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!”

alma “I…create a backdoor in the system before leaving and covering my tracks…”

dorothy “…I-I can’t…”

dorothy%20overload “I can’t handle it anymore!”

dorothy%20overload “Alma, hack me! Hack me like you’ve never hacked anything before!!”

alma%20confused “E-Eh?”

dorothy%20overload “Make my buffer overflow! Create a backdoor in me! Escalate your user privileges! Find flaws in my securityyyyy!!”

alma%20confused “…”

jill “…”

dorothy%20upset “S-Sorry…I got carried away.”

jill “No shit. What happened?”

dorothy “Have you seen those movies or books where a couple does something like paint a picture or cook…”

dorothy “…but they make it sound like they’re having sex instead?”

alma “Suggestive scenes, yeah.”

dorothy “Well, that whole thing was kinda like that for me.”

alma “Really?”

dorothy%20upset “I guess humans don’t really get it because their minds don’t upload to networks or anything…”

dorothy “But trust me, if you recorded yourself giving a REALLY detailed explanation in a really sexy voice…”

Pretty sure that’s just called ASMR.

dorothy “You’d make millions. Horny Lilim are an underexploited market.”

alma “I see…”

alma “Oh, looks like my ride’s here.”

jill “Your ride?”

alma%20smiling “Yup, my brother-in-law came to look for me.”

jill “Is it alright to ask that from him?”

alma%20smiling “It’s okay. I’ve known him since preschool. It just so happened that he got married to my sister.”

alma “Hey Dorothy, you need a ride?”

dorothy “Can you drop me by Third Street?”

alma “Sure, it’s on the way.”

dorothy%20smiling “Yay~ I’ll take your offer then.”

dorothy%20smiling “Bye, honey!”

jill “Take care.”

jill (“The street seems…noisy.”)

jill (“Oh, a client.”)

jill “Hello, welcome to Valhalla. What can I get-…”

virgilio “Truly, an oasis of spiritual drinks in the midst of the suburban desert.”

virgilio “A place where lost and corrupt souls can gather to forget their troubles for a while.”

virgilio “A nest where everyone from the most pathetic scum to the vilest trash-junkie can just sit to kill their insides.”

virgilio%20smiling “Truly, a real Persona Non Grata.”

virgilio%20smiling “That’s Latin for mysterious place, by the way. I’m so smart and philosophical.”

jill (“Alright! We got ourselves a Persona Non Grata here…”)

jill “What will you have then?”

virgilio “Seventeen.”

jill “E-Excuse me?”

virgilio “I said seventeen. Seven plus teen.”

jill “What does that mean?”

virgilio “What does it mean to YOU?”

jill “Just to be sure…17 is about the drink you want, right?”

virgilio “Only if you want it to be.”

jill “…”

jill “The total of ingredients here add up to 17.”

virgilio “Beautiful.”

jill “And what brings you here? Mister…”

“I’m Armandio. Virgilio Armandio.”

virgilio “See? I introduced myself using the Asian order because that’s a lot more polite.”

jill “Riiiiiiight.”

virgilio%20smiling “And I came here looking for an…otherworldly experience.”

virgilio%20smiling “I was passing by and saw this place is called Valhalla.”

virgilio “I wanna see the souls of resting warriors, the wounded spirits of noble souls.”

virgilio “The golden halls full of never-ending banquets, the lively Valkyries looking over them…”

jill “…we have some arcade machines on the corner.”

virgilio%20upset “No no no…you’re taking me too literally.”

virgilio%20upset “You see, I’m being poetic. I’m giving a mystical air to a mundane affair.”

virgilio “I wanted to see drunk people, I wanted to see waitresses and food.”

virgilio “I wanted to see the bar in all of its decadent glory.”

jill “Well, you’re out of luck. Today’s been quite the slow day.”

jill “Not that I’m very surprised, given how things have been going in the streets, though…”

virgilio%20upset “Humans are a nasty bunch, that much is true.”

virgilio%20upset “Making a ruckus, coming at each other…but that’s to be expected from the only mammal to kill its own.”

jill “I’m no zoologist, but I’m pretty sure that’s not the case.”

virgilio%20peeved “Oh yeah? Then give me an example, not-zoologist bartender.”

jill “Like I said, I don’t know exact details, I just know that isn’t right.”

jill “If memory serves right, once a lion takes over a pride, every cub born from another lion is killed, or something.”

virgilio%20peeved “Pffft…”Takes over a pride”, you can’t take over pride. Pride isn’t a tangible thing.”

virgilio%20upset “You need to stop making things up, not-zoologist bartender.”

jill “…”

virgilio “But going back on topic, do you know what the number seventeen means?”

jill “The atomic number of chlorine?”

virgilio “No, and Chloe is a name, not a number, you know?”

jill “The group where halogens are in the periodic table?”

virgilio “Stop making words up like “halogens”, “periodic”, and “table”.”

jill “Okay then. I give up.”

virgilio “Seventeen is us.”

jill “Eh?”

virgilio “Every human has seventeen pairs of chromosomes. That number is the whole foundation of you and me.”

jill “It’s…23.”

virgilio%20peeved “What is?”

jill “Humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Not 17.”

virgilio%20peeved “Well, they’re both primal numbers, so it’s the same idea.”

jill (“Primal…”)

jill “…”

jill “Do you want anything else?”

virgilio%20smiling “I’d like a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat.”

jill “Okay.”

Turns out the Simpsons reference was relevant after all.

virgilio%20peeved “Ha! You didn’t…wait, you did.”

jill “Enjoy~”

virgilio%20peeved “I will, I’ll drink this…umm…perfume.”

virgilio%20peeved “…”

jill “…you don’t really have to…”

virgilio%20peeved “Yeah, that’d be silly. You win this round, bartender.”

virgilio “Hey, bartender. Have you ever thought about death?”

jill “How?”

virgilio “What if we’re already dead? Both of us?”

jill “…what?”

virgilio “What tells you I even existed before I entered that door?”

virgilio “How can you assure me that this “reality” is real and we were not, in fact, in heaven or hell all along?”

virgilio “What if everything up to this point is just some stupid story written by an unemployed 20-something in his room?”

jill (“I could punch you to make you feel reality.”)

jill “I don’t care about any of that, actually.”

jill “This reality’s real for me and that’s all that matters.”

virgilio%20upset “Such a close-minded way of seeing things.”

virgilio%20upset “You need to…get away from the factual facts. Open your mind to things beyond your reach.”

virgilio%20upset “You’ll never reach enlightenment if you don’t start…”

virgilio “The Habanera has started! It means “twilight of the gods” in German, by the way.”

jill “Um…what?”

jill “Oh hell…”

jill “Let me take a look out the window.”

dana%20regular “Be careful.”

jill “…”

jill “I see lots of flashes in the distance. Most likely gunshots.”

dana%20peeved “Jill! Come here a sec.”

jill “What?”

newscaster “…about 5GB of reports proving that several White Knight squads have been used to cover…”

newscaster “Illegal actions were released to the public by an unknown anarchist group.”

newscaster “We’re receiving reports of several units going rogue…”

newscaster “…and using their weapons to hunt down anyone they find on the street.”

newscaster “Several counter-terrorism forces from neighboring cities have been dispatched in order to subdue…”

newscaster “…the crazed units after a plea from the vice-president.”

newscaster “We’re still waiting for a declaration from Zaibatsu Corp’s CEO on the subject, but until then…”

jill “Things are ugly in and outside of that bank, it seems.”

dana%20peeved “I’d recommend you stay here tonight. It’s too dangerous to even think about going outside.”

jill “What if they break in?”

dana%20regular “They won’t. Even then, the bar has quite the security system.”

dana%20regular “And I’ll be here protecting you, as an added bonus.”

jill “sigh…yeah, I guess I’ll stay tonight.”

dana%20regular “I’ll get you the spare mattress I have. Do you mind sleeping in my office?”

jill “No, I guess it’s fine.”

dana%20regular “Good.”

dana%20regular “sigh Let’s hope everything gets solved by the morning…”

dana%20regular “I’ll have Zankantou on hand, just in case.”

jill “The metal bat with nails?”

dana%20regular “There’s nothing it can’t bash!”

jill “Heh…”

jill (“Sei…Gil…Fore…”)

jill (“Hope everything’s better by tomorrow.”)

kollontai420 · May 19, 2018, 12:23am

jill “yawn G’mornin’.”

dana%20regular “It’s 11 a.m., though.”

jill “That’s morning for me on the weekends…and any other day. How’s everything outside?”

dana%20regular “Still noisy, but forces have been deployed to take care of most of ‘em at least.”

jill “How so?”

dana%20regular “Zaibatsu Corp’s President is pleading with “anyone” to stop the rogue White Knights.”

dana%20regular “Neighboring city forces were deployed quickly and have subdued most of the opposition.”

dana%20regular “There have also been reports of White Knights just…freezing. Like they were petrified somehow.”

jill “You make it sound like some god suddenly decided to put everything in place.”

dana%20regular “Well I’m just glad there are no bullets flying in and out of the whole building.”

dana%20regular “Sure, there’re still some bad apples out and it’s not really safe yet, but it was worse last night.”

dana%20peeved “There also seems to be a civilian force lynching any White Knight they spot.”

dana%20peeved “So not only are the White Knights a problem, regular folks are on edge too.”

jill (“I wonder if Sei is okay…”)

jill “Should we be worried about Gil?”

dana%20regular “That kid knows how to take care of himself.”

dana%20regular “I’m sure that…whatever it is that he’s doing, he’s safe.”

dana%20regular “Dare I say even safer wherever he is than here.”

jill “I sure hope so.”

jill “Are we gonna work today?”

dana%20regular “Nah, things are too nasty right now. Let’s take the Sunday off.”

jill “Oh, alright.”

dana%20regular “Say, do you want me to help you get to your apartment?”

jill “Actually yeah, I’d appreciate that.”

dana%20regular “Okay then. Let me lock things up and we’ll go.”

dana%20regular “We’ll grab something for lunch on the way.”

jill “Sounds good.”

jill “Home sweet home. Thanks a lot.”

jill “Hey Boss, wanna hang out for a bit?”

dana%20regular “Hm?”

jill “Yeah, grab a Beer, chill out for a bit… Mostly to thank you for helping me.”

dana%20regular “Well, I don’t have much to do anyway. So yeah, sure.”

dana%20regular “I did tell you you should invite me over to your apartment sometime, didn’t I?”

jill “Oh, yeah. You did.”

dana%20regular “What worries me a bit is that Beer always leads to something else.”

jill “To more Beer?”

dana%20regular “I was gonna say, “To one of us going through the Spanish announcers’ table.””

dana%20regular “But I think we’re safe here.”

jill “Come on in, then.”

dana%20regular “Excuse me…”

dana%20regular “Sorry, I don’t smoke. Don’t mind me though, smoke if you wanna.”

dana%20regular “Say, how is the chilly weather treating you?”

jill “It gets cold from time to time but nothing the kotatsu and the heater can’t fix.”

jill “Oh right, Boss. You’re not very good with the cold, are you?”

dana%20regular “You know it…”

jill “You didn’t bring your jacket here either.”

dana%20regular “Yeah, I left it at home when going to the bar yesterday.”

dana%20regular “It wasn’t that cold and I didn’t expect to spend the night at the bar.”

jill “Would you like a sweater or something?”

dana%20regular “Oh, don’t mind me.”

jill “I insist. I have this hoodie from some time ago and it was too big for me.”

dana%20regular “Why buy it then?”

jill “It was dirt-cheap!”

dana%20regular “Right…”

dana%20regular “Wait…w-where did you get this one?”

jill “Dunno. Some flea market ages ago. Why?”

dana%20regular “Nothing. It’s just like one I had many years ago.”

jill “What happened to it?”

dana%20regular “Too much use, it just…ripped.”

jill “I see…”

jill “You can keep it if you want, I never use it anyway.”

dana%20regular “Um…we’ll see.”

jill “Come to think of it, how old are you, Boss?”

dana%20regular “I’m eternally seventeen!”

jill “Fair enough. Seventeen plus how much?”

dana%20regular “Seventeen plus I’d have to cut your tongue if you knew.”

jill “…alright.”

jill “Let me go change into something more comfortable.”

dana%20regular “Take your time.”

dana%20regular “…”

dana%20regular “Say Jill, there’s a blue-eyed mass of black fur glaring in my general direction.”

jill “Hm? Oh, that’s just Fore. He’s just wary of any new visitors. Cats will be cats, I guess.”

jill “He’ll warm up quickly though. Just give him time.”

dana%20regular “He’s unusual-looking. Blue eyes on a black cat. They usually have green.”

jill “Yeah, weird, huh?”

jill “At first I thought they were like that because he was small but they never changed.”

dana%20regular “Back at home we had a bear.”

jill “Ah, I se-…what?”

dana%20regular “Good ol’ Bosco. He kept intruders away better than any dog.”

jill “R-Right…”

jill “What? Me taking such a sappy pic?”

dana%20regular “No, a framed picture on vintage paper. It’s so…vintage.”

dana%20regular “Who are these?”

jill “That’s…um…”

jill “The one on the right is Lenore, my…ex-girlfriend. The one on the left is Gabrielle, her sister.”

dana%20regular “Huh. Is this pic recent or…?”

jill “Actually, that one’s from 3-4 years ago.”

dana%20regular “…”

dana%20regular “You look exactly the same.”

jill “I’m only 27. What did you expect? That’s why they say kids are the ones that get old.”

dana%20regular “I thought it was recent because you don’t usually see people displaying pictures of their exes so openly.”

dana%20regular “…let alone a printed and framed one.”

dana%20regular “Did you two break up on good terms, then? You even hesitated a bit when calling her your ex.”

jill “sigh Let’s just say that everything ended with both of us saying mean things.”

jill “…and me storming out of her house, breaking a couple of things on the way out.”

jill “We never broke up formally…and I guess I still have feelings for her.”

jill “I just…went away, haven’t said a word since.”

dana%20regular “Really? It’s…hard to picture you doing such a thing. And you look so happy in the pic.”

dana%20regular “Why have her pic out like this then?”

jill “I just couldn’t get my mind off something that Alma said to me.”

jill “About missing having the warmth of someone else pressed against your side…”

jill “Using them as a pillow, mixing your perfume with theirs.”

jill “Putting your head in their chest, listening to their breathing as they pet your head.”

jill “Dozing off, knowing they’re there, watching you. Protecting you…”

jill “I don’t know. I felt nostalgic…then miserable.”

jill “…”

dana%20regular “…”

jill “I’ve been meaning to apologize, but I feel like it’s too late now.”

jill “Whenever I go out, there’s this fear in the back of my head that I’ll meet her in the street.”

jill “I just don’t know if I could face her again. Let alone talk to her.”

jill “…I’d be a mess.”

dana%20regular “It’s never too late to apologize, Jill.”

jill “Maybe.”

jill “…!”

dana%20regular “Looks like an enve-…”

jill “It’s nothing! NOTHING! Now, please give that to me.”

dana%20regular “I saw nothing, don’t worry.”

jill “…”

jill “A-Anyway… Let’s grab some Beers!”

dana%20regular “Guide me.”

jill “Well, the BTC gives me discounts and a point card I can use every time I buy their alcohol.”

jill “With that, Beer is actually the cheapest drink I can get.”

dana%20regular “Is there any difference between the drinks at the bar and these?”

jill “The drinks at the bar are more addictive, flavorful and also stronger than the ones they sell in stores.”

jill “And besides, the one in the bar is more of a Double IPA. This one is more of a Pilsner.”

dana%20regular “In English, please.”

jill “This one’s lighter in color and lighter in flavor.”

dana%20regular “Dunno, it doesn’t taste like a lighter to me.”

jill “pffffft”

dana%20regular “Is this one made with that…um…what was the name of the base liquid you use at the bar again?”

jill “Nutriogenic Dichometrical Lydogenol, or NDL.”

dana%20regular “It was a supplement or something, right?”

jill “It was an experimental fluid they created to replace water when the Maiden Kiss polluted water supplies.”

jill “The effects of pollution turned out to be temporary, so NDL never went into mass production.”

jill “But the BTC still commissioned it for use in bars.”

dana%20regular “And this one is made with it?”

jill “Let’s see…yup, here it is, near the end: NDL and corn starch.”

dana%20regular “Corn starch?”

jill “It serves as a stabilizer, if I remember correctly. They need it for packaged drinks.”

dana%20regular “I see. And I just realized something.”

jill “What?”

dana%20regular “You’re a nerd, Jill.”

jill “Guilty as charged.”

jill “I still have that bottle of rum somewhere around. Do you want some of it?”

dana%20regular “Will you have some too?”

jill “Not really, no.”

dana%20regular “Then leave it like that. I’m not letting you drink Beer alone. That’s not how drinking with friends works.”

Also, you should never mix your drinks.

jill “Do you consider me a friend then, Boss?”

dana%20regular “Why wouldn’t I?”

jill “Dunno, what with being my boss and all. I was never too sure.”

dana%20regular “Well, in case you had any doubts: Yes, I consider you one of my best friends.”

dana%20regular “Besides, you and Gil are always so diligent and responsible that I’m boss in name only anyway.”

jill “That’s good to know.”

dana%20regular “On a side note, it surprises me you kept that poster of me in your room.”

dana%20regular “And even more that you hung it in plain sight.”

dana%20regular “When I gave it to you, it was more or less a joke, you know?”

jill “Does it make you uncomfortable?”

dana%20regular “If it doesn’t make you uncomfortable, why would it make ME uncomfortable? It’s my own face.”

dana%20regular “I’m still wondering why you did it though.”

jill “Aside from filling an empty spot in the wall, I don’t really know. I thought it was funny too.”

jill “I guess it’s like if someone gave you…dunno.”

jill “A dildo-shaped trophy or something and you had it there as a conversation starter.”

jill “Although no one comes here anyways, so it’s kinda pointless.”

dana%20regular “What? No steamy nights of passion?”

jill “Not since…a year ago I think. And I’d rather not talk about what happened then.”

dana%20regular “Did someone hurt you? Because if they did, I can go dish out the pain.”

jill “No, nothing of the sort. A different kind of mess.”

jill “Uncomfortable mess. A ‘not being able to have sex for reasons’ mess.”

jill “Glad to know you have my back though.”

dana%20regular “That’s what friends are for.”

dana%20regular “Wait, you talk about the poster and compare it to having a dildo-shaped trophy…”

dana%20regular “Did you just call me Dildo Face?”

jill “That’s what friends are for.”

dana%20regular “…”

dana%20regular “Hey, Jill. Where did you get that black Fore ball?”

jill “Well, as with any black cat or house cat in general, he’s actually a stray.”

jill “I found him in the alleys near the building. Not long after I moved here, I think.”

dana%20regular “Ah, I see.”

jill “It was quite the sight though. He was cornered by all these dogs but they were keeping their distance.”

jill “He was holding his ground, hissing and scratching as much as he could.”

jill “There was a fried chicken bucket nearby that had some rain water in it, so I threw the water over the dogs.”

jill “They ran and I figured the cat’s mom would be nearby, so I left.”

jill “Then I noticed people looking in my direction as I walked. Turns out the little shit started following me.”

dana%20regular “So you brought it home.”

jill “At first, I wanted to see if I could find him a new home, but…”

jill “Having him welcome me whenever I came back was just too much for my heart, so he ended up staying.”

dana%20regular “It was destiny, girl.”

jill “When he came, he was so cute though. Not like the fat mass that’s sleeping on the table.”

“Fore”: “Hey, you’re not a spring chicken yourself, you know.”

dana%20regular “…”

jill “…”

dana%20regular “Oho…”

jill “…shit, I actually did that in front of someone else.”

dana%20regular “Ohohohoho…”

jill “A-Anyway…”

dana%20regular “Don’t “anyway” me, do you normally speak for your cat like that?”

jill “…maybe.”

jill “sigh I wonder if Gil’s alright.”

dana%20regular “You worried about him?”

jill “You make it sound like I’m some emotionless robot.”

dana%20regular “You can be hard to read.”

dana%20regular “I wouldn’t worry about Gil so much though. There’s three things I know for certain about him.”

dana%20regular “First: He can take care of himself.”

dana%20regular “Second, you can sincerely trust him.”

jill “And third?”

dana%20regular “He absolutely hates bell pepper.”

jill “He does?”

dana%20regular “I’ve seen him even reject food that has been in contact with it.”

jill “Man, what a baby…unless he’s allergic or something.”

dana%20regular “He’s not.”

jill “Man, what a baby.”

jill “How did you meet such a guy?”

dana%20regular “He…showed up in the door of a bar.”

jill “He…what?”

dana%20regular “Well, it was shortly after the whole incident with Robert and the levitation potion.”

jill (“Right…”levitation potion”.”)

dana%20regular “It was a slow day and he just…showed up at the bar.”

dana%20regular “I offered him a drink, but he said he didn’t have money on him.”

dana%20regular “I…couldn’t leave him alone, so I pretty much gave the drinks for free.”

dana%20regular “And after a couple, he broke down crying.”

jill “He…huh?”

dana%20regular “I don’t know what he did, but he was really, REALLY regretting it.”

dana%20regular “He wanted a second chance or whatever and I told him if he could wash himself I’d find him a job.”

dana%20regular “And I’ll be damned, he looked totally different the next day.”

jill “Damn…”

dana%20regular “I tried and failed to find out anything about him.”

dana%20regular “So I decided to take him at face value. I’d judge him from what he did as an employee.”

dana%20regular “And aside from the occasional sudden escapade, he’s been as loyal as loyal gets.”

dana%20regular “I return the favor in kind, covering his ass from time to time…sometimes literally.”

jill “What surprises me is that you took him in so easily.”

dana%20regular “I can take care of myself and I always kept an eye on him.”

dana%20regular “And besides, after the whole Robert thing I couldn’t ignore someone that desperate so easily…”

jill “I see…”

dana%20regular “You’ve made the bar more lively yourself, you know?”

jill “How so?”

dana%20regular “Well, with the regulars you’ve earned of course.”

dana%20regular “Like that blonde titty hacker. I can’t remember her name.”

Blonde titty hacker is basically her entire character.

jill “Alma?”

dana%20regular “I was gonna say Armitage.”

jill “She’s a nice girl, you know?”

dana%20regular “I don’t think she’s young enough to be called a “girl”.”

jill “Says the “Girl Who’s Eternally Seventeen.””

jill “In any case, she’s really lovely.”

jill “When you hear her speak of her family, she speaks with such love. Her face just brightens up.”

Are we talking about the same character here?

jill “It makes me kind of jealous that she has such a close relationship with them, to be honest.”

dana%20regular “You have bad relations with your family?”

jill “Not bad, but I’m not exactly close to anyone aside from my mom, dad and aunt.”

jill “But back to Alma, I’m really hoping she finds a nice guy to settle with.”

jill “I mean, she’s so bent into finding one, I can’t help but want her to succeed.”

dana%20regular “Ah, I see.”

dana%20regular “There’s also that sex worker robot girl.”

jill “Ah, Dorothy.”

dana%20regular “She intrigues me, though. I’ve seen lots of sex workers over the years, and she seems pretty giddy.”

dana%20regular “It’s not that she likes her job, but rather that she takes to it with such childish excitement.”

jill “I’ve kinda noticed that too. But then again, Lilim can be weird.”

dana%20regular “You think?”

jill “Lilim operate in some really foreign logic.”

jill “I mean, they don’t really share our fear of mortality.”

jill “Even if their bodies are destroyed, their minds are already backed up in the collective source.”

jill “If they lose an arm, they can reattach it or replace it.”

jill “Depending on the circumstances, they might not even feel pain at all.”

jill “It’s not like they haven’t attained human-like emotions like fear or love, but they are…different.”

jill “Like a different culture, if you must.”

dana%20regular “Hmm…I didn’t see it that way.”

jill “Aside from that, Dorothy is a DFC-72. It’s a “Social Interactions” model or something.”

jill “Lilim get positive reinforcement straight from their bodies if they’re fulfilling their main purpose, so…”

jill “I’m guessing she gets a built-in push whenever she’s in a “meaningful” or challenging social interaction.”

dana%20regular “Interesting.”

dana%20regular “The name “Lilim” is a bit weird though.”

jill “It is?”

dana%20regular “You’d expect them to be called “Bots” or “Dolls”, but “Lilim” doesn’t convey the image of automatons.”

jill “Just a tip. “Bots” and “Dolls” are considered slurs by them.”
Ableist slur coming up.

jill “”Bot” is akin to calling them retarded and “Doll” is like calling them fake.”

dana%20regular “Thanks for the advice.”

dana%20regular “That aside, do you know why they’re called Lilim?”

jill “As far as I know, because they all come from a bigger AI called Lilith.”

jill “And Lilim are Lilith’s offspring in Jewish folklore.”

dana%20regular “Ooooooh, cool.”

dana%20regular “Hey, speaking of names, why don’t you like being called by your full name?”

jill “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

dana%20regular “Don’t act stupid.”

dana%20regular “Back when you first transferred, I called you Julianne and you almost tore me a new one with your glare.”

jill “…”

dana%20regular “See? Like that.”

jill “It’s no big secret, but it’s one of those things that feels silly when you say it out loud.”

dana%20regular “Try me.”

jill “Well…did you ever watch “Model Warrior Julianne”?”

dana%20regular “Not all of it, but my little sister’s a big fan of the reruns.”

jill “Back when I was in elementary school I was a HUGE fan of the show.”

jill “I had everything. From the dolls to the costumes to the lunch boxes.”

jill “It didn’t help that it was one of those shows that got strapped literally everywhere.”

dana%20regular “I saw a couple of episodes once. They were really nice!”

jill “It was beyond nice! The show’s about a model who can transform into an armor-clad magic knight.”

jill “She fights demons born from greed and vanity.”

jill “How the job presented Jules hating her job because it invited enemies.”

jill “And yet still found solace in trying to be a role model…”

jill “Hell, the main character wasn’t a kid. Julianne was an adult that became younger when transformed.”

jill “I’d say it was a pretty ambitious kids show.”

Truly the Steven Universe of its time.

jill “Even by today’s standards!”

jill “Just the fact that her enemies were literally issues dealing with beauty standards of body image…”

jill “Challenging as fuck.”

dana%20regular “Whoa, you got excited there.”

jill “And that is the problem. Back then I was obsessed with Jules.”

jill “I sang the songs, dressed like her. I could even recite full chapters.”

dana%20regular “Something tells me you still can.”

jill “…that’s beside the point.”

jill “It was nice while I was in elementary school, but then I went to middle school…”

jill “And what a surprise, tweens are jackasses.”

jill “They went out of their way to tease me about things I did back then.”

jill “I don’t hold it against Jules. I always hold my grudge against those fuckjobs.”

dana%20regular “Sounds rough.”

jill “You know how most girls worry about their thighs at that age?”

jill “I worried about jerkasses singing the theme tune of the show mocking me.”

jill “Anyways, everytime someone calls me Julianne or Jules, I instinctively react negatively.”

jill “Pavlov would be proud of me.”

jill “I never talk about it because I find the whole thing too silly in retrospect.”

dana%20regular “And yet, it affects you even today. There’s nothing wrong with it though.”

dana%20regular “It’s actually kinda reasonable.”

jill “I sure hope so.”

jill “Come to think of it. What kind of kid were you, Boss?”

dana%20regular “When I was a toddler, I was the kind to always fight with kids bigger than me.”

dana%20regular “Then puberty happened and I became the Merriam-Webster definition of “shallow jerkwad”.”

dana%20regular “Around the time I turned 16, I realized what an idiot I was and went on to become who I am today.”

dana%20regular “And the less I talk about those years from 12 to 15, the better.”

jill “Fair enough.”

dana%20regular “So Jill, what kind of guy was your grandpa?”

jill “He was rough around the edges. The kind of guy that means well even if he says otherwise.”

jill “He seemed to have a soft spot for me, though.”

jill “One moment, he was congratulating my dad by berating him a little…”

jill “…and the next, he was playing with me.”

jill “My dad worked a lot and my mom was always travelling, so I spent most of my childhood with him.”

dana%20regular “Can I ask how he died?”

jill “Out of old age. My dad says his last words were something like…”

jill “”Fucking scientists. Created talking mannequins, but they still can’t let you upload your brain…””

jill “Why the question?”

dana%20regular “I’m curious about you. Really curious.”

dana%20regular “I just realized that even though we see each other almost every day, I know very little about you.”

jill “Oh.”

dana%20regular “From what you tell me though, seems your grandpa’s personality rubbed off on you a bit.”

jill “I’ve heard that one since I was a kid, actually.”

jill “You know, Boss, I’m a bit curious about your circle of friends. What kind of people do you have in it?”

dana%20regular “Keep in mind, you’re included in this circle too, so any insults you hurl will apply right back to you.”

dana%20regular “Anyways. I have this friend I’ve known for a long time. A red-headed, glasses-wearing gun-nut called Iris.”

jill “The one you called for the helmet thing?”

dana%20regular “That one.”

dana%20regular “She’s managing a BTC bar in Panama right now, if I remember correctly…”

jill “She’s managing a bar too?”

dana%20regular “I got the idea from her, actually.”

jill “Oh.”

dana%20regular “It’s called N1-RV Ann-A, and if you thought this city was dangerous…”

dana%20regular “You should see the people she has to deal with there.”

Sounds like a sequel hook to me.

dana%20regular “Piracy ain’t nothing to fuck with.”

jill “”Ann” means it’s an annex to another business. What else does she do there?”

dana%20regular “I think the bar was originally her hotel’s bar.”

dana%20regular “She moved the bar to its own building elsewhere and opened N1-RV Ann-B in the hotel instead.”

jill “Weird decision.”

dana%20regular “I believe she said she wanted a place “away from the noisy rich tourists that go to the hotel.””

dana%20regular “So that bar is her woman cave.”

jill (“Woman cave…”)

dana%20regular “That aside, let’s see…friends, friends…”

dana%20regular “I guess there’s also my little sister, but that’s a given.”

dana%20regular “Oh! There’s also my old partner from when I was with the Neo-San Francisco police force.”

dana%20regular “Good ol’ Lexi. Should give her a call sometime.”

2064: Read Only memories is available on your PC, Mac, Linux, Playstation 4, Playstation Vita, Android and iOS.

jill “Wait, you were in the what?!”

dana%20regular “I’ve done lots of things, Jill.”

dana%20regular “I spent a short time collaborating with the police force. I’ve been a wrestler, an MMA fighter…”

dana%20regular “Chimney cleaner, lumberjack, pet shop attendant, corporate mascot…”

…boxer, mascot, astronaut, imitation Krusty, baby proofer, trucker, hippie, plow driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, carnie, mayor, grifter, bodyguard for the mayor, country western manager, garbage commissioner, mountain climber, farmer, inventor, Smithers, Poochie, celebrity assistant, power plant worker, fortune cookie writer, beer baron, Kwik-E-Mart clerk, homophobe, and missionary.

jill “Corporate what?!”

dana%20regular “I still see my face on some websites from time to time.”

dana%20regular “Anyways, aside from you, Gil, my sis, Iris and Lexi…hm…”

dana%20regular “I guess there’re a lot of people that don’t want to see me in harm’s way.”

dana%20regular “…mostly because they’re the ones that want to hurt me.”

dana%20regular “What about you?”

jill “I guess I have acquaintances here and there.”

jill “Back at home and college, I went out a lot.”

jill “But it felt more like going out was the pleasure, rather than the people involved.”

jill “Aside from you and Gil, my closest friend since moving here is Alma…oh, and Dorothy.”

jill “I mean, sure. There’s always Fore, but that cat’s a hermit that refuses to go out.”

jill “And you know…he’s a cat.”

dana%20regular “Hey, a cat’s fine too, you know?”

jill “Hey Boss…what will you do when the bar closes?”

dana%20regular “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll take a friend’s offer of working with her.”

dana%20regular “I was also thinking about going back home and helping with things there.”

dana%20regular “Or maybe going travelling for a while.”

jill “I see…”

dana%20regular “Oh, but don’t worry! Bureaucracy’s slow as fuck, so they won’t close the bar for quite a while.”

dana%20regular “Better enjoy being there while you can.”

jill “Yeah, maybe…”

jill “Will you be visiting me in whatever bar I end up working in?”

dana%20regular “I have a bone to pick with the guy who supervises the bar I’m planning to get you transferred to.”

dana%20regular “I go there even though I virtually have no reason to.”

dana%20regular “With you there, I’d have something PLEASANT to look forward to.”

jill “Um…you’re sending me to someone you have problems with?”

dana%20regular “If I have to trust another bar owner, it’s certainly him.”

dana%20regular “He’s actually a pleasant boss from what I’ve seen.”

dana%20regular “The fact that he and I have the tendency to go at each other’s throats is an unrelated matter.”

jill “I’ll trust you on that one then.”

dana%20regular “Don’t worry. Maybe I can get you a bracelet made out of wood pieces from the bar’s counter or something.”

jill “Um…we’ll see.”

dana%20regular “Hey, I’ll tell you what.”

dana%20regular “When the bar closes, let’s both take a vacation. Go on a trip! That’ll clear your mind a bit.”

jill “Yeah, maybe.”

Chowder · May 19, 2018, 3:31pm

So, to be honest, I think this LP could stand to have shorter updates with more color commentary. In addition to its chronic inability to handle sensitive topics in a tasteful manner, this game is fucking boring. This is like if Seinfeld and Cheers had a baby and duct-taped it to some broken computers.

(And before you say “funny you should mention Seinfeld”…no it isn’t)

kollontai420 · May 19, 2018, 3:41pm

To be entirely honest I was worried about having color commentary at all, so this is a helpful bit of advice, thank you! Regarding the updates, I’m not so sure how to divide them better? The game has a very, very rigid structure so I have no clue how I would make the updates shorter.

Chowder · May 19, 2018, 3:51pm

I am, no joke, skipping through every update just looking for the italics that indicate something at least nominally of substance is being said, and I wouldn’t blame any of the people who AREN’T weighing in for doing the same, if indeed I’m not the only person paying even a shred of attention to this LP.

As for length, it seems like you’re just updating entire game-days at a time, split into two posts at the point where Jill takes her break. Even half of one day is kind of a lot of material to try and care about when most of the characters can’t clear the bar of likability set by a creature who requires a trigger warning just for existing. Part of what makes the game so boring is that you literally can’t stop except at certain, very far apart, points. I would honestly just cut updates off at arbitrary points that feel like you’ve hit a decent length and left behind a coherent thought.

kollontai420 · May 19, 2018, 3:57pm

Noted! Once again, thank you for the advice and criticism. Honestly shorter updates with more commentary would probably easier not just for anyone reading this but for me too so idk why I didn’t think about it sooner. You can expect the next update to be a far lighter read.

kollontai420 · May 26, 2018, 1:35pm

Now that we’ve finished what might be one of the most boring parts of an already bad game, it’s time to get back into the swing of things…well, after we read the news and buy yet another mandatory thing. Personally, I don’t get that particular mechanic, because the only way you’re gonna be short on money is if you’re really, really, REALLY bad at the game or just want to torture yourself.

Media is still awfully quiet about it.

Augmented Eye talked about it but very briefly.

Maybe someone lost their job due to that one rogue article.

It was from Kim, she’s always trying to write serious shit but I think AE got tired of her.

Fucking shame.

So all we’ll get is clickbait from now on.

Gonna get worse at the very least.

White Knights say there’s a lot of people inside the building, at least three people already dead.

How is someone there shooting people?

Looks like it was the security from the building but I’ve got no details yet. Sounds weird as fuck.

Come on insider anon, you gotta give us more.

Doing my best here!

Thanks based anon.

This thread is closed

EXPLOSION REGISTERED!

And media still quiet about it.

Can confirm there’s an explosion, but it looks like it was just one of them.

So there’s more bombs? not just one?

That’s right.

Do we have any clue on who’s doing this?

I’m hearing from several sources that this is a group, a new one, looking to overthrow the government.

No names have been mentioned, and it looks like it’s not a group, but just one person who set up all this.

That’s pretty ballsy.

And this is just a rumour around here, but Alice_Rabbit might be involved.

How?

A hacker is helping out hostages to escape, and they’re suspecting of Alice.

Huh, someone doing stupid shit on the internet is being actually useful!

This thread is closed

Can confirm the situation has finally reached its end. The attacker was shot dead but a HUGE amount of data was released from servers all around the world. Remember the leaks from Alice? those were nothing compared to this. Proof of corruption, money laundering, espionage; it’s actually pretty unsettling.

Damn…

The file is available from approximately 60000 sources, terabytes that contain all operations from the Glitch City government and White Knight operations. It seems the ultimate goal from the attacker was not to blow up the bank, but lead hostages towards servers inside of the bank, which had the files under several layers of physical security.

That shit sounds whack, how do you even make a plan this complex?

No idea, but that’s what some of the witnesses are telling the police.

OK it looks like I have to leave, but I’ll try to write down all the details for a future post. Gonna need some time though…

godspeed anon, thanks.

This thread is closed

This game’s politics are akin to that of a teenager who just discovered what Anonymous is, except they never, ever went beyond that.

Famous hacker Alice_Rabbit “graced” the popular image board danger/u/ with a new threat, which resulted in the arrest of the site’s admin (known as Ferfer) for a second time.

”We have no details to give, other than that he was arrested as part of an ongoing investigation,” Cyber Crime Unit’s Lisette Blanc told The Augmented Eye during a call. “We are now busy tracking down the message that appeared yesterday.”

When inquired about the arrest, Ferfer would only respond with a calm “Not this sh*t again…”

If underwear you can change with a voice command was something you really wanted in your life, NANOCAMO has you covered!

Already providing consumer versions of their advanced nanomachine fabric, they plan to release a line of underwear that can change its look with a spoken word. No more stains in your white panties! Just change its color to black and you will barely notice.

That won’t change the smell, though. They’re not that advanced.

”We expect an increase in sales next year thanks to this innovative product,” a PR representative told The Augmented Eye. “I’m already using them. Super comfy, if you ask me.”

The blood feud between Giant Yusuke and 66 American Kid will reach its climax this January 4th at the annual GSF dome event. But it’s not the only match of the night!

Other interesting bouts feature great workers such as The Great DK and Arrence. Full card below.

66 American Kid vs Giant Yusuke (GSF Championship)

Red Comet Jr. vs NAGISA (Women’s Championship)

AKITO vs The Great DK

Roy Campbell vs Arrence (GSF Jr. Championship)

Jack Bomb and Blaze vs Hooli and Cara Coltá (Tag Team Championship)

OSUNA vs Siegfried

gil “I have a copy of the key, remembe-…”

gil%20exasperated “Wait, that’s how you greet me after so many days?!”

It’s what you deserve, Gil.

dana%20regular “I never doubted you’d be fine.”

dana%20regular “If anything, I’d have to cut your paycheck for leaving for so many days without notice.”

gil%20exasperated “…”

dana%20regular “See, Jill? “He’ll be there on Monday like nothing ever happened.””

jill “Wait, why does he have a copy of the key and I don’t?”

Because Gil doesn’t take creepshots?

dana%20regular “The need for you having a key never arose.”

That too, I guess.

jill “True…”

dana%20regular “Anyway. Glad you’re fine Gil.”

gil%20exasperated “Thanks. I guess…”

jill “…”

Drinking game: take a shot every time a character says “…” or “I see.”

gil “What? Are you gonna make me wash the bathrooms again?”

jill “Not today.”

jill “Listen, I don’t know who the hell you really are or what’s trying to come back to bite you in the ass.”

jill “But remember there are people that actually care about you. Don’t just leave like you did.”

jill “Especially after all hell broke loose. At least give us a sign that you’re still alive.”

gil “So you were worried?”

jill “Isn’t that normal?”

gil%20slight%20smirk “When it comes to you, I don’t know.”

jill “Shut up.”

dana%20regular “She’s right, though. You shouldn’t make ladies worry so much.”

Eternal life advice right there.

dana%20regular “Check if the cats didn’t move the internet antenna, would you?”

dana%20regular “Because it’s yours?”

jill “But I told you you could keep it.”

dana%20blushing “Sorry, I…couldn’t find it in myself to take it.”

jill “Why?”

dana%20regular “Partly because I didn’t feel right taking it.”

dana%20regular “But mostly because I thought you’d totally look cute with it.”

jill “I-I see…”

Take a shot.

dana%20regular “Don’t think I’m rejecting a gift of yours, it’s just…”

dana%20regular “Preserving cuteness is one of my principles.”

Along with suplexing people, I assume.

jill “R-Right…”

dana%20regular “Are you still worried about the whole bar closure thing?”

jill “Of course I am.”

jill “Not like I can’t work because of it, but you know…”

dana%20regular “All we can do is enjoy whatever time we have left here as best we can.”

jill “Yeah…”

dana%20regular “So, cheer up! Clients smell sadness and fear, and we don’t want that.”

Clients: the deadliest predator in the animal kingdom.

jill “Okay.”

jill “Not really, no.”

jill “Anyways, let’s start the day.”

jill “Time to mix drinks and change lives.”

jill “Oh yeah, Gil?”

gil “Hm?”

jill “Glad to see you’re fine. I mean it.”

jill “May I have your name?”

brian “Tell her it’s Brian.”

Meet the most unremarkable character in the entire game. I legit don’t know why he exists.

jill “Just a sec.”

jill “BOSS!! SOME BRIAN GUY IS LOOKING FOR YOU!!”

dana%20regular “TELL HIM I’LL BE THERE IN A BIT!!”

jill “She’ll…um…you heard her.”

brian “It’s alright. I’ll wait.”

jill “It’s weird for someone to come asking for her though.”

brian “It’s not so weird when you’re BTC’s Regional Manager in these parts.”

jill “Yeah, I guess that’s…”

jill “…”

Yet another shot.

jill “…um.”

jill “I guess I didn’t give you the best first impression.”

brian “Haha! Don’t worry, I know who I’m dealing with.”

brian “I’m not a fan of people treating me too nicely because of my position anyways.”

brian “Handle me like I’m just another client.”

jill “A-Alright. I can do that.”

jill “What can I get you, Mr. Brian?”

brian “Let’s go with the basics. A Sugar Rush, please.”

jill “Coming right up.”

brian “Yeah. this one’s nice.”

jill “Back in training, they made a big deal out of Sugar Rushes. Why?”

brian “They’re like the Fried Eggs of mixing drinks.”

Brian must be working as a games journalist on the side with a simile like that.

brian “They’re the most basic thing, but people can still mess them up.”

brian “Sugar Rushes are simple enough that you only need to follow instructions.”

brian “If you can’t even do that, your future as a bartender is not bright.”

jill “Huh…they never told me that.”

brian “You’re Jill, right?”

jill “Yup, that’s me.”

brian “Dana has talked quite a bit about you.”

Mostly about the whole stalking thing, I’d assume.

jill “Really?”

brian “And I guess you must have a few questions for me, am I right?”

jill “…”

I really should make a counter, huh.

brian “Mostly concerning the closure warning Valhalla got.”

jill “Can you disclose any information?”

brian “I shouldn’t, but you have the right to know.”

jill “Thanks.”

brian “Don’t mention it. Now where to start…”

brian “You saw the news on the information leaked during the Apollo Trust Bank incident, right?”

Does “reading about it on an image board” count?

jill “About the White Knights having lots of members from criminal organizations in their ranks?”

brian “Turns out the White Knights weren’t the only ones with shady people.”

brian “Some of those same folks have been trying to elude legal problems using BTC-certified bars.”

brian “The BTC bars have their own protocols, meaning the White Knights can’t dig too deeply…”

brian “…at least, not without going through a ton of paperwork first, giving the criminals time to cover their tracks.”

brian “Although it takes a bit of time to set up, it has apparently proven an effective method for money laundering.”

To be fair, most eating establishments that double as fronts for criminal activities tend to be really, really good.

jill “Where does Valhalla come in?”

brian “”Young” bars are the ones under the radar right now, and the modest-to-low income ones are the primary suspects.”

brian “It’s not just Valhalla. Any small bar with small income is being investigated heavily right now.”

jill “So the closure notice is due to low sales…”

brian “Among the reasons a bar can get axed, low sales is the rarest one.”

brian “If low sales were a problem, lots of bars would close every year.”

jill “…”

jill “”You’ll find out soon enough” huh…”

brian “Sorry?”

jill “Oh, nothing. Don’t mind me.”

jill “Seems your guess was spot-on, Gil.”

gil “Hm?”

brian “If it helps, I’m doing my best to appeal in your place.”

jill “Really? Why?”

brian “Most of Glitch City’s bars are a pain in the ass. They constantly give reports of chemical damage or shady drinks.”

brian “This is one of the few places from which I almost never receive complaints.”

I shudder to think what the clientele of the other bars must be like.

brian “The closest thing to a recent complaint was that whole Farmers Fabrics affair from a little while ago.”

jill “So much saliva…”

brian “I wouldn’t get my hopes up though.”

brian “Especially since the BTC will try to save face by axing as many suspects as possible.”

jill “Knowing you’re making an effort is enough. Thanks.”

jill “Can I get you anything else?”

brian “Now that I remember, the recipe book has a drink created here, right?”

jill “Oh yeah, the Suplex.”

brian “Get me one of those, please.”

jill “Sure.”

brian “The registry form says this was an accident while making a Piledriver.”

jill “You can ask the creator of the drink just over there.”

brian “Ah, so you’re Robert.”

gil “Yes! That’s my name. I’m Robert, the one and only.”

jill “…”

Ellipses counter: 6

brian “Jill called you “Gil” though.”

jill “Uh…it’s Argentinian slang.”

jill “R-Robert here is from Argentina, so we call him Gil.”

brian “Huh…I see.”

”I see” counter: 2

jill “…”

gil “…”

The Ellipses counter is broken.

dana%20regular “Sorry Brian, I was sorting some stuff at the office. Please come in.”

brian “I’ll be right there.”

brian “Any other questions, Jill?”

jill “Not really, no.”

jill “Although…”

brian “Yeah?”

jill “If you were to evaluate my performance right now, how would you rate me?”

brian “Clean and timely delivery of the correct orders. A top-notch bartender.”

jill “Thanks.”

gil “I’m surprised you haven’t met him before.”

jill “I received my training in another city. The regional supervisor there was some girl with a red mohawk.”

gil “Ah, I see.”

jill (“I wonder what Boss will talk to Brian about…”)

stella “Um…Jill, was it?”

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill “Are you okay?”

stella%20annoyed “Yeah…um…just call me Stella. And get me a big Beer, please.”

jill “Huh… Sure, on it.”

jill “A-Are you sure you’re fine?”

stella%20annoyed “…um.”

stella “You know Sei, right?”

jill “Of course, what’s up with her?”

stella “She was at the Apollo Trust Bank during that whole affair and…”

jill “Oh.”

jill (“Right…that.”)

jill “So she…?”

stella%20annoyed “She didn’t show up on the list of the massive body count in the aftermath, so…”

stella%20annoyed “I was hoping that maybe you’ve seen her.”

jill “As much as I’d love to say that I had…”

jill “…”

stella%20annoyed “Yeah, I figured as much.”

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill “…”

…

jill (“Man, the air is suddenly a lot heavier.”)

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill (“I mean, I could tell her that everything will be alright, but that would sound a bit…condescending.”)

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill (“sigh What does one do in this kind of situation?”)

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill (“Maybe a joke? Nah, that’d be tasteless.”)

Plenty of tasteless jokes have been made already.

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill (“Okay, just…try and say anything. At the very least, you’ll break the tension.”)

jill (“Maybe distracting her will be enough?”)

jill (“I don’t think clearly when under this kind of pressure, do I?”)

I don’t think you think clearly under regular circumstances, Jill.

jill “Uh…there was a private eye here the other day.”

stella%20shocked “EYE?!”

stella%20annoyed “…sorry, I’m a bit on edge.”

stella “A private detective, I take it?”

jill “Yeah. Maybe you’ll want his services?”

stella “What’s his name?”

jill “I believe it was Art…Van, no. Von Delay.”

I still don’t know why George Costanza’s alter ego is a character in this game.

stella “Oh, that Art guy. Yeah, I actually hired him yesterday to look for Sei.”

jill “So you still have hope.”

stella “I’m somewhere between Bargaining and Depression right now. And I’m afraid to let go of Bargaining.”

jill “I see.”

jill “Is he any good?”

stella “He doesn’t look like it, but he’s quite skilled at gathering intel.”

stella “I believe he’ll give me answers about Sei…whatever they might be.”

stella “…”

jill “…”

VA-11 HALL-A: The JRPG.

jill “*sigh Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand so I could solve all my problems with a swing, you know?”

stella%20annoyed “Sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable.”

No one should have to say that in a universe where Dorothy exists.

jill “Oh, sorry. No, it’s not about feeling uncomfortable.”

jill “It’s just…weird. I usually try to say something to my clients when I see them down.”

jill “And right now, I can’t find any words that don’t sound hypocritical, useless, or tasteless.”

But the writers are gonna make you say them anyways, aren’t they?

stella%20annoyed “I’m glad to know you have that much common sense, at least.”

jill “All I can do is get you drinks. Can I get you anything else?”

stella “Something sweet. That’ll help me calm down a bit.”

jill “Gladly.”

Gameplay tip: when given the choice of a wide change of drinks, always go for the most expensive one and embrace the soulless capitalist inside you.

stella “Thanks.”

jill “Seems you really like Sei.”

Almost like you two are really, really gay.

stella%20annoyed “I don’t have brothers or sisters, and my social interactions are usually strictly business.”

stella%20annoyed “So Sei’s more than a friend to me, she’s…she’s…”

Your girlfriend?

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill “Sorry, I brought that topic up at a bad time.”

stella “ahem Don’t worry about it.”

stella “As I was saying, she’s more than a friend. She’s my emotional support, she’s someone I can trust wholeheartedly.”

Sounds like the prime platonic gal pal to me.

stella “I’d say she’s like my sister, but siblings usually lack that level of trust.”

stella “I have to deal with high-class pricks of every race and upbringing on a daily basis.”

stella “They use a “business mask” to hide anything they don’t want others to know and I do the same.”

stella “But with Sei I can be myself, I can do whatever I want and vent all my frustrations.”

stella%20annoyed “She’s always been there for me, and now she might need me…”

Oh, just kiss her already and get it over with.

stella%20sad “But here I am, sitting in a bar, making other people do that job because I’m a useless pile of flesh!”

stella%20sad “…”

stella%20annoyed “…sorry about the outburst.”

jill “I’m actually kind of jealous of the level of self-control you’re using here.”

jill “I mean, I’d be a mess in that situation.”

Smells like foreshadowing to me.

jill “Still, would you like some fresh air? I’m gonna take my break and you could use some.”

jill “Well…for a given value of “fresh”.”

stella “I’m fine, thanks.”

jill “Okay then.”

jill “Gil, please service Miss Stella while I take my break.”

That wording makes me…uncomfortable.

gil “Sure, leave it to me.”

Ellipses counter: 20

“I see” counter: 4

kollontai420 · June 2, 2018, 9:11pm

jill “I’m ba-…eh?”

art “What would a kid like you know about that, eh?”

stella “I’m just giving you the facts as they are.”

jill “What happened while I was gone?”

gil “Detective guy comes in, Cat Boomer girl greets him. They start talking…”

gil%20exasperated “Everything was okay until the girl mentioned Zaibatsu Corp offhand.”

gil%20exasperated “After that, the guy got riled up and started badmouthing it.”

gil “Oddly enough, he was the only one. She just carried on like it was just a normal conversation.”

Ding ding ding, let’s give a warm welcome to the “I see” counter!

stella “When you get down to it, it has enhanced the quality of life here.”

art “Yeah, if by enhanced, you mean getting yanked around by a shiny new chain around our necks.”

art “Can’t you see that those big companies don’t care about us?”

I’d say it’s a bit more insidious than “not caring”, Art.

art “Why do you think that Glitch City is mockingly called “the guinea pig of the world”?

art “We’re just one big test group for them to use however they want!”

Ah, a libertarian paradise.

art “But then again, I don’t expect a kid to understand how hard it was, let alone a rich kid.”

stella%20annoyed “True, I don’t know. And true, I have a privilege that clouds my judgement.”

That’s putting it lightly.

stella “But can you deny that the meddling of Zaibatsu Corp has brought quite a few benefits?”

art “Like what?”

Looser labor laws, union crackdowns, increased child mortality…

stella “The AI Integration Program they started is making huge advances in the AI department.”

stella “Every day, more and more countries are seeing the benefits of recognizing AIs as citizens.”

art “Yes, but we also hold the AI Reformation Program.”

art “Meaning that we’re also the world’s Lilim prison.”

I assume that’s why we’re stuck with Dorothy?

art “AI went rogue? Transfer it to a delivery drone or ship it to Glitch City.”

art “That murderer is now delivering your pizza.”

Yum.

stella “Fair point. Although that program HAS proven to have reformed many AIs.”

Rehabilitation tends to work better than straight-up punishment, after all.

stella “They don’t brag about their 88% success rate for nothing.”

jill “Um…”

stella “The city also has a stronger economy?”

The…city that’s also in the midst of an economic crisis? Did the writers seriously get that lazy?

stella “Zaibatsu Corp’s success has made more and more companies bring their products here.”

art “And the gap between classes continues to grow.”

That’s what tends to happen when the bourgeoisie is the ruling class, buddy.

art “More companies just mean more people who will plant their feet on your face.”

stella “But it also means more products are being brought to the lower classes.”

stella “Stores have 20% more brand variety compared to last year.”

But you still won’t be able to afford any of them!

jill “Uh…”

stella “Zaibatsu Corp’s main Medical Research branch has also made lots of discoveries.”

stella “More and more illnesses, previously thought incurable, are being addressed every day.”

I’ll just use this point to inform the readers that Cuba, a socialist country, is one of the leading countries when it comes to healthcare and medicine.

art “It’s amazing, for those who can afford them.”

art “Meanwhile, down here we’re experiencing medicine shortages almost every month.”

stella%20annoyed “You have a point there.”

stella “Oh, but there are also more jobs. All of the companies coming down here need personnel.”

stella “So the unemployment rate has gone down by almost 40% this year.”

Once again, I thought that Glitch City was in the midst of an economic crisis?

art “More jobs? Shut up.”

stella “Am I wrong?”

art “Well, that’s…”

art “…”

art “Hey you! Don’t just sit there. Give me a Zen Star!”

jill “Sure.”

art “God, this is awful.”

stella “It’s your order, though.”

This has been my internal monologue whilst making this LP.

art “I seriously hope you don’t actually believe everything you just said.”

stella “Of course I do, why else would I say it?”

stella%20annoyed “You do bring up something I always fail to remember. All the benefits we’ve gained over time are limited to a few.”

stella%20annoyed “I can talk about advances all I want, but in the end, they’re still a luxury belonging only to a few.”

stella%20annoyed “And even those that can be accessed by everyone are more like an improvement in the bigger picture.”

stella “That doesn’t take away the fact that there have been positive changes.”

Or the fact that those changes could be greater under a just economic system?

stella “Credit where credit’s due, don’t you think?”

jill “That’s… a pretty mature answer.”

Y’know, game, you don’t have to emphasize how Smart you are.

stella “Discussions are a way for two parties to understand each other.”

stella “The only people afraid of discussion are the ones whose points are too fragile to defend against someone.”

Spoken like a debate club champion.

art%20annoyed “Yeah, mature. Whatever.”

stella “I’m gonna take the chance to ask you about that job I gave you yesterday.”

art “I haven’t been able to find much, but I can at least tell you that she wasn’t at the bank when it opened up.”

stella “What does that mean?”

art “Either she left before the whole ordeal started…”

art “…or she managed to escape at some point before the whole thing ended.”

art “All the corpses are accounted for. They only found one totally disfigured, but witnesses identified it.”

art “It wasn’t your friend, that much is for sure.”

stella%20annoyed “…I see.”

jill “Did you call him here?”

stella%20annoyed “No, he just so happened to come here today.”

Fun lore fact: Glitch City has a population of like, 20.

art “The weird part is that the girl did enter the bank. It’s like she…vanished or something.”

stella “I see. Thanks, keep it up.”

jill “Your face brightened a bit.”

stella “Hope is the last thing you lose, I guess.”

stella “If he’s telling the truth, Sei might have found a way out.”

stella “She’s a resourceful girl. She surely did something.”

stella “I think I’ll have another drink. Do you want anything?”

art “Me? Um…”

art “Just get me whatever you order.”

stella “Two Bad Touches, please.”

jill “pfft On it.”

stella “I remember this one party I went to. The guy that came up with the name of this drink showed up.”

stella “After people found that one out, they lined up to slap him for whatever reason.”

People need to show some respect to the Bloodhound Gang, damn.

stella “They didn’t seem offended to me though.”

art “Imagine a guy shows up and tells you “I made a classy Bad Touch”, wouldn’t you line up to slap him?”

It was a good song, okay.

stella “Um…are you okay, Jill?”

jill “I’m…f-f-fahahahahahaine…”

Jill agrees with me.

jill “Now that I think of it, did you find that girl you were looking for a week ago, Mr. Von Delay?”

art “Turns out she was at the Apollo Trust Bank all this time. No wonder I couldn’t get in touch with her.”

Jeez, that bank is quite the popular place it seems.

stella “Girl?”

art “Someone paid me to look for Crimson Rose and she happened to be at the…”

art “Um…”

stella “What?”

art%20annoyed “I’m trying to avoid mentioning that a dangerous assassin got stuck in the same bank as the girl you’re looking for.”

stella “Oh, don’t worry.”

stella “Besides, the last thing I’m worried about with Sei is people.”

jill “Why’s that?”

stella “Her attitude is usually so laid back and gentle that she has no problem getting people on her side.”

So she’s a shonen protagonist?

stella “And on the off-chance that she has to defend herself…well…”

stella “I once saw her take care of a warbot gone haywire by herself.”

stella “She did need medical care afterwards, but she recovered in no time AND managed to take care of the ‘bot.”

jill “Is she really that good?”

The problem with badass characters in a game like this is that you can only tell us why the character is badass, but you can’t really show it. See also: Dana Zane.

stella “She’s not only really physically fit, she’s also really good with Krav Maga and…”

Pfft, Krav Maga. What a joke.

stella%20shocked “…”

jill “Something wrong?”

stella “No, nothing. I just realized I forgot about all that.”

stella “Sei’s not invincible, but she knows how to take care of herself.”

stella “And like I said, she’s resourceful. She surely found a way out.”

stella%20annoyed “sigh I just hope she’s well wherever the hell she is.”

stella%20annoyed “…she owes me an ice cream.”

As previously mentioned, those two are really, really gay.

stella “You want another drink, Mr. Von Delay? It’s on me.”

art “Are you sure?”

stella “Yeah, order away.”

art “Okay then. I’ll have a Piano Man.”

jill “And you, Ms. Stella?”

stella “I’m fine. Get his order.”

art “So this is what drinking something classy without worrying about the price feels like.”

Welcome to the opulent lifestyle of the rich.

art “Alright, I should get going. My contact will arrive at the rendezvous point soon.”

art “I’ll let you know if I find out anything else, Ms. Hoshii.”

stella “Please do.”

jill “You’ve been generous today.”

stella%20smiling “He made my night with his discoveries on Sei’s situation.”

stella%20smiling “I’m not totally over it, but at least I got distracted for a bit.”

art “Well, that’s it for me. Good night, Miss Hoshii.”

stella “Thanks again.”

jill “Please come again.”

jill “Why would I? It’s not like you’re asleep.”

stella%20smiling “Thanks. This place is…soothing.”

What kind of games do you reckon they have at Valhalla?

brian “Alright then. That would be all, Dana.”

brian “Quite a mess, the situation with…um…Robert.”

brian “Right, right…”

brian “Oh! If it isn’t Miss Hoshii herself.”

My lore fact about Glitch City has been confirmed.

stella “Ah, Brian. Fancy meeting you here.”

brian “I didn’t expect to see you here of all places.”

brian “Are you busy? Mind catching up for a bit?”

stella “Sure, no problem.”

stella “Jill, we’ll be sitting over here.”

jill “Let me know if you need anything.”

stella “Will do.”

jill “…”

jill “Um…”

cass “This holophone is an old model, so hanging up is a bit laggy.”

Hey now, it has a download speed of at least 1200 baud.

cass “You can call me Cass by the way.”

jill “I-I’m Jill.”

jill “S-Say…you guys give a lot of liberties to my boss.”

jill “I mean, she gets away with too much stuff.”

I assume it’s because she could suplex them whenever she feels like it.

jill (“It finally hung up.”)

jill “Phew, it’s been quite the day.”

jill “At least the streets are calm today.”

virgilio “I have…wheeze arrived yet again at the cough oh god…at the majestic hall of heroes.”

jill “Calm until now.”

jill “You look winded, Virgilio.”

This is how I feel after climbing like, four flights of stairs, tbh.

virgilio “It’s pronounced Veer-HEE-rio.”

jill “No, I’m pretty sure it’s Virgilio. You said as much the last time you came.”

virgilio%20upset “Pronunciations are a silly thing society imposes on letters.”

virgilio%20upset “They want to be free! They want to be pronounced however they want.”

jill “…”

jill “You look winded, Virgilio.”

virgilio “We are all little toys winded by the cruel hand of fate.”

virgilio “Just stumbling until it decides not to wind us anymore.”

That’s a pretty fatalistic outlook on life.

jill “And yet, you’re the only one in the vicinity hyperventilating.”

virgilio%20peeved “That’s um…I was jogging.”

jill “Dressed like that?”

virgilio%20peeved “I can jog however I want.”

jill “Yes you can.”

jill “What can I get you?”

virgilio “Something fake.”

jill “Of course.”

This is actually his easiest order by far.

virgilio “And this is?”

jill “Totally-not-Beer.”

From the makers of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.

virgilio “Ah, yes, just as fake as I want.”

jill “Say, Virgilio. Where do you work?”

virgilio “I take the noble duties of curator at the Steampunk Museum.”

…what.

jill “Really? What do you do?”

virgilio “I study everything that comes and keep it clean for the people that visit the premises.”

virgilio%20peeved “But lately my duties have been hindered by the museum’s owner.”

jill “Really?”

virgilio%20peeved “Yeah, he told me, “Stop touching the exhibits! You’re gonna break them.” The nerve of some people.”

jill “E-Eh?”

virgilio%20peeved “He still fails to realize that I’M the curator there.”

virgilio%20peeved “WIthout me, all those machines would be rustier than they already are.”

jill “…”

Me too, buddy.

virgilio%20peeved “Even the visitors get that I’m the one responsible for those, why can’t the owner realize that too?!”

jill “…yeeeeeeah.”

jill “I bet he treats you like a janitor or something like that.”

virgilio “Exactly!”

virgilio “Okay then. Time for your next challenge, bartender.”

jill “Challenge, he says…”

virgilio “I want purity.”

jill “…”

While I fall for the trap of assuming that Virgilio here wants a Zen Star, it actually doesn’t matter at all what drink you give him.

jill “It’s a drink. It’s free from any human sin. It can do no harm consciously.”

Drinks confirmed free from Original Sin.

virgilio “Ah, yes…beautiful.”

jill “sigh”

virgilio “Hm?”

virgilio “Hey you, the guy over there.”

gil “Me?”

virgilio “Yes, you. Have we met before?”

Just what is the deal with Gil?

gil “Can’t remember. Maybe?”

virgilio “Yeah, I think…”

virgilio%20peeved “…”

virgilio%20peeved “…NONONONO. We haven’t met. Ever. At all.”

jill “That’s an interesting reaction.”

A normal reaction to realizing Gil exists.

gil “…”

jill “Be careful out there.”

stella “Thanks…huh?”

stella “Excuse me, have we met somewhere before?”

virgilio “That face…that eye…”

stella%20shocked “What about my eye, punk?!”

virgilio%20peeved “We haven’t met ever at all. Never, ever, ever ever.”

Forever ever, forever ever?

jill “Did you just scare off a client?”

Can I pay you to do that on a daily basis?

stella%20annoyed “Apparently.”

stella%20smiling “Well. I’m off. Thanks for everything.”

gil “Yup, quite a few clients considering the whole situation.”

jill “So you two actually met before?”

gil “Yeah, you could say that.”

dana%20regular “What? What?”

jill “Gil stuff. Don’t mind it.”

jill “What were you talking about to Brian?”

dana%20regular “Well…”

dana%20regular “We were mostly catching up, to be honest.”

dana%20regular “I hadn’t seen him in a while. I offered him a drink when we met last week.”

dana%20regular “I talked a bit about what to do after the bar closes.”

dana%20regular “Oh! And I tried to…uh…explain the situation with…Robert here.”

dana%20regular “He agreed to help me out with that one when the time comes.”

It’s gonna involve an absurd amount of criminal activities, I assume.

jill “Ah.”

gil “Oh…”

dana%20regular “I was also tuning up the details for the new employee.”

jill “New employee?”

dana%20regular “A part-timer, you’ll meet him tomorrow.”

jill “Oh.”

gil “”Him”? So it’s a guy?”

dana%20regular “An adorable guy, if I do say so myself.”

jill “…”

jill (“…I suddenly have deja vu.”)

This will only really make sense if you’ve played the prologue, but I strongly advise against doing so.

dana%20regular “Are you alright, Jill?”

jill “Y-Yeah.”

jill (“It must be nothing.”)

In Valhalla, it is always something.

”I see” counter: 3

”…” counter: 9

kollontai420 · June 9, 2018, 8:40pm

I think I’ll get a pair, just to see what kinda skin I can use with them.

They will nickle and dime with the DLC, there’s no way to use the skin you want.

It’s going to get cracked day one.

Maybe, but I don’t think it will be that fast.

Yeah, I think I’ll just wait until it’s modded for custom skins.

I thought the nanomachine fabric was bad for your health?

No that’s just a meme.

My walls are made of that thing and I’m alright.

Are the walls hacked yet?

I’m going to marry Camotan!

We now have underwear that can change its look… Don’t you just love the future?

I would if they weren’t a bunch of assholes with their business practices.

Then don’t buy the underwear.

I won’t

This thread is closed

For the longest time, the term “Christmas Cake” referred to women aged 26 or above, who are regarded as undesirable – just like a Christmas Cake that ceases being useful after December 25th.

But men around Glitch City developed a sweet tooth.

”Who doesn’t like a mature woman?” Todd, 19, told The Augmented Eye. “They have all the necessary experience already and plus, I’m soooo tired of spoiled, immature girls doing stupid sh*t. I say bring on the hot office ladies!”

Jill, 27, is confused.

”Christmas what? Is that like the opposite of Beefcake?” After discovering the real meaning, she launched into an hour-long rant. “I’ll let you know pencil skirts are the best!”

Don’t you just love casual misogyny?

Sukeban Soft just unveiled a new line of personal computers for the anime enthusiast market. This is after several attempts at appealing to a broader audience with the Uranus game console.

Launch games have been announced as well. They include popular franchises like Monster Girl RPG, Monster Girlfriend, and Monster Companion.

”We’re going for the weeb audience,” said Kiririn51, a Sukeban Soft janitor.

”What’s dignity anymore?”

Sukeban Soft plans to launch the AM TOWNSHIPS sometime next year.

Just because you’re self-aware about being gross doesn’t mean you’ve stopped being gross, guys.

Weapon enthusiasts are freaking out right now over a firmware update that MAKISE Heavy Industries is releasing for its EDKV-186 line of assault rifles.

Full compatibility with NANOCAMO has been announced, allowing civilian models of this weapon the use of nano camouflage, and the option to customize their look for free with the help of the NANOCAMO app.

”We’ve been using NANOCAMO in the battlefield for a year now,” MAKISE’s chairperson told The Augmented Eye during a phone conversation. “And thanks to its flexibility, we can now sneak past the enemies using the environment to our favor. Our equipment is basically invisible with NANOCAMO.”

The NANOCAMO update will be released this month.

Every now and then, I wonder if I’ll ever meet my significant other…all the stimulae from being born just three years ago, and directly being thrown in this wonderful disaster that is the idol industry, makes me think of all the things I’m missing. Accidental love, lost love, or even the gentle touch of another person, I feel like I’m in this bubble that won’t let me catch all possible feelings, and my senses get tired of the same environment.

I want to meet new people, places! Because even though I have a large bank of knowledge, I actually never experimented with what most consider normal.

But you already know that from my songs

gil “And that cage?”

jill “I…um…brought my cat.”

gil “Your cat?”

dana%20regular “DID I HEAR YASUNORI KATO WAS IN THE BAR?!”

Wikipedia tells me that Yasunori Kato is a fictional character created by Hiroshi Aramata, and the protagonist of Teito Monogatari, so…yeah? Talk about a deep cut.

dana%20peeved “Wait…there are no evil Onmyouji here.”

jill “Boss…what the fuck?”

dana%20peeved “Didn’t you say you brought Kato to the bar?”

jill “My cat. CAT!”

dana%20regular “Well, that’s even better! Hey Fore!”

fore “…”

dana%20regular “So cute.”

dana%20regular “Why did you bring him?”

jill “I heard some apartments in my building were being raided.”

jill ”Fore’s my weed carrier, you see.”

jill “I don’t have anything suspicious, but you never know. So I’d rather have him here, at least today.”

dana%20regular “Ah well, I’d say something about the health regulations, but we already had a pack of Corgis here.”

dana%20regular “Do you want me to take care of him in my office? Please?”

jill “Sure…but he’s a bit shy, so…”

jill “And I think she didn’t hear me.”

gil ”I haven’t slept in 10 years, Jill.”

gil “I live close by.”

jill “Really?”

gil “Yup, Chief got me a small apartment nearby. Something about the BTC housing program.”

Is BTC an intentional reference to bitcoin or am I just reading too much into things?

jill “Oh yeah, I got mine through that too…”

jill “Time to mix drinks and change lives.”

jill “…”

rad%20shiba “Um…lady, did you hear me?”

jill “A dog. ANOTHER dog.”

rad%20shiba “Hey! I’m not just another dog, I came here as a part-timer!”

jill “So you’re the part-timer.”

rad%20shiba “Yeah!”

jill “…”

jill “Boss! I’m taking my break!”

dana%20regular “It’s too early!”

jill “Shit.”

jill “sigh The part-timer is here!”

dana%20regular “Huh, he came early.”

Dogs are cute, Jill.

dana%20regular “Because look at him! He has a Hawaiian shirt! And sunglasses!”

See? Dana here knows what’s up.

dana%20peeved “And he’s a Shiba, not a Corgi. I don’t know what you’re complaining about.”

jill (“They all look the same to me.”)

Almost like the devs didn’t have time to make two separate sprites so they just used the same one for Shibas and Corgis.

dana%20peeved “Granted, Shibas could be seen as the Japanese counterpart to Corgis.”

dana%20peeved “They’re both funny-looking and dogs used by the royalty.”

dana%20regular “Anyways. Starting today, this dog will help around here.”

rad%20shiba “My name is…”

Urge to make a bad, bad reference suppressed.

dana%20regular “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS.”

The part of Dana Zane is portrayed by Dwayne Johnson.

jill “…Boss, please don’t shout.”

jill ”Don’t reference 70 year old television either.”

dana%20blushing “Sorry.”

dana%20regular “Just call him Rad Shiba.”

jill “Why Rad Shiba?”

dana%20peeved “What part of Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses don’t you get? He’s the raddest thing here!”

rad%20shiba “Thanks!”

dana%20regular “Anyways, he will mostly help getting orders, bringing clients in and cleaning, but he ought to know how things work.”

gil “Cleaning? That’d be a change of pace.”

How many people have done this thing with Jill so far? Like, two?

jill “Um…right.”

rad%20shiba “I’ll have a Grizzly Temple.”

jill “…”

rad%20shiba “Are you okay?”

jill “Yeah, just a couple of post-traumatic flashbacks.”

jill “Coming right up.”

rad%20shiba “Wow! This is awful!”

rad%20shiba “People actually pay for this shit?”

I could make a meta joke, but I already did that, so I won’t.

jill “Hard to believe, I know.”

jill “So…what brings a dog like you to taking a part-time job here?”

rad%20shiba “I’m here to help the funding of my organization.”

jill “Are you with the Seifar Toy Company?”

rad%20shiba “What? No! Don’t lump me in with those Herding Supremacists.”

Because what this game needed was racist Corgis.

rad%20shiba “I have a more noble and benign organization. I belong to CIRA.”

jill “CIRA?”

rad%20shiba “Canine Independent Rescue Association.”

rad%20shiba “We give a place where dogs can be dogs and save them from themselves.”

Rescuing dogs from the horrors of modernity.

rad%20shiba “CIRA is what I love, but, damn is it expensive sometimes.”

rad%20shiba “We decided to take part-time jobs to help fund anything it needs.”

rad%20shiba “We want to help CIRA be the best it can be.”

rad%20shiba ”Mostly that just means buying chew toys.”

jill “What do you do at CIRA?”

rad%20shiba “Pay treatment for hurt dogs, give food to the hungry ones, play with the bored ones…”

rad%20shiba “We’re there for everyone.”

jill “Huh…that actually sounds nice.”

rad%20shiba “Say, do you have a menu?”

Is it called a menu if it only has drinks? Genuine question.

jill “Something like that, yeah. Here.”

rad%20shiba “Now, let’s see…”

rad%20shiba “Any recommendations?”

jill “Avoid the part with “Promo” drinks.”

rad%20shiba “Oh, the Grizzly Temple is one of those.”

rad%20shiba “Fluffy Dream? I like the sound of this one.”

jill “Coming right up.”

rad%20shiba “Well, this one’s nice.”

jill “So, why did you pick a bar?”

rad%20shiba “It seemed fun.”

rad%20shiba “I didn’t need that many weird skills to be part of this so it was my best bet.”

rad%20shiba “Besides, it’s close to home, so I can get here by walking.”

rad%20shiba “And I do love me some walks. I could walk all day!”

jill “Weird skills?”

rad%20shiba “Yeah, stuff like “food handler’s certificate”, “previous work experience”, or “thumbs”.”

jill “…”

rad%20shiba “Why did you pick a bar?”

jill ”Cheap booze.”

jill “Um… On a whim too, I guess.”

jill “I wanted a place where I could see people come and go all the time.”

jill “And bartending sounded a bit more glamorous than just being a store clerk.”

I know a convenience store where the local high school kids just started stealing like, cabbages and shit. Ended up having to install cameras.

rad%20shiba “Oh yeah. About the way you mix stuff.”

jill “Yeah?”

rad%20shiba “Is it-…hey…”

rad%20shiba “It’s a cat! A cat!”

jill “Hey Fore, weren’t you in Boss’ office?”

rad%20shiba “Hello cat! Wanna play? Let’s play!”

fore “…”

jill “Didn’t dogs hate cats or something?”

rad%20shiba “We don’t hate them - unless they’re intruders.”

jill “Huh…”

rad%20shiba “You said his name was Fore? Hello Fore! Let’s play!”

Pretty sure this is the second foreplay joke they’ve made?

fore “…”

jill “No playing allowed, you’ll make a mess. Fore, go back to Boss’ office.”

fore “Meow.”

rad%20shiba “That’s one obedient cat.”

Meanwhile, my cat is pure chaotic evil.

jill “My pride.”

jill “You want something else?”

gil “Eh?”

jill “Alright.”

jill sigh (“I shouldn’t get riled up so easily by dogs, but…I’m just tired, I guess.”)

sei “Hello Jill!”

jill “Eh?! T-That voice…”

jill “W-What happened to you?!”

new%20sei%20smiling “Nice seeing you too!”

new%20sei “Well, I fell from a really tall place to a really rough spot.”

That’s…one way to put it.

jill “Are you okay? Do you need an ambulance or something?”

new%20sei “I just got out of one, don’t worry.”

jill “How did you manage to slip by the mobs lynching White Knights?”

new%20sei%20smiling ”I killed them all!”

new%20sei “It was a bit rough. Luckily these bandages helped me conceal my identity! Heheh…”

You wouldn’t believe how many cerulean-haired girls there are in Glitch City.

jill “Why come straight here?”

new%20sei ”To get wasted.”

new%20sei “I…”

new%20sei “The ambulance where I got treatment couldn’t stray too far away from the hospital.”

new%20sei%20smiling “They’re nice people, I’ve talked to them a lot while on rescue duties.”

new%20sei%20smiling “I was nearby and yours was the closest friendly face I could find.”

new%20sei%20smiling “I needed to regain my composure before doing anything else, so…here I am.”

new%20sei%20blushing “Um…if you’re scared because they might come for me I can leave, you know?”

jill “The security systems of the bar are top-notch, and my boss is also the bouncer of sorts here.”

The security systems are just Dana.

jill “I’d say you’re actually safer here. So I’m not worried about me.”

jill “Instead I’m…worried about you.”

I’m pretty sure that even in this state she could suplex a train.

jill “First I hear you were at the bank, then I find out you “disappeared”.”

jill “And now you show up with all those bandages.”

jill “Are you fine? What happened at that bank exactly?”

jill “Did you talk with Stella? She was worried sick about you!”

new%20sei%20in%20pain “Slow… Slow down a bit… The medications make me feel everything more intensely, almost like a hangover.”
jill “S-Sorry.”

Turns out giant blocks of text are bad for the brain.

new%20sei “It’s nice to know someone like a bartender was worried about me though. Thanks.”

Pretty sure bartenders have feelings just like everyone else, Sei.

new%20sei “Everyone I know has been ignoring me, so I was feeling lonely.”

jill “Why would they?”

new%20sei “Well, you’ve seen the lynches they give to any White Knight they find.”

The Glitch City opposition are a very…unique bunch.

new%20sei “By ignoring me, they’re actually saving me from getting kicked to death.”

new%20sei “My good deeds finally paid off, I guess…heheh…”

jill “Can I get you anything?”

new%20sei ”Get me ten Jägerbombs.”

new%20sei “Um…something sweet without alcohol.”

new%20sei “Thank god these pants still had my wallet in them.”

They started making womens’ pants with pockets? Wild.

jill “Oh no, I couldn’t take your money right now. It’s on the-…”

new%20sei “Jill, please. I wanna pay for my drinks.”

jill “I take it I won’t be able to change your mind.”

new%20sei “Nope. I mean yes. I mean… You won’t be able to change my mind.”

jill “…sweet and no alcohol, right? Coming right up.”

new%20sei%20smiling “Yay! This’ll help me calm down a bit.”

jill “So, what happened to you? Where did you fall from?”

…a building?

new%20sei “I was escaping the place near the end of the whole thing, and I had to make a leap of faith.”

new%20sei “I’ve jumped from higher places, but I landed badly here.”

new%20sei “Most of my injuries are actually from some debris that fell on me.”

new%20sei “Oh, but my broken arm is actually from the fall.”

jill “How?”

new%20sei “I rolled to mitigate the fall, but I made a bad move and broke it.”

new%20sei%20smiling “Good thing I drink lots of milk!”

jill “…”

Same, Jill, same.

new%20sei “I was under rubble for quite a bit, but luckily someone found me.”

jill “”Someone”?”

Jill seems to be asking a lot of dumb questions today, for some reason?

new%20sei “I woke up in the hospital, they told me some guy brought me there.”

new%20sei “I don’t know who he was, but I owe him my life.”

jill “…”

new%20sei “W-What?”

jill “N-Nothing, you just sound um…cheerful.”

jill ”Also that’s the second time a complete stranger saved your life.”

new%20sei%20smiling “I’m alive! Why wouldn’t I be?”

new%20sei%20smiling “After all that happened at the bank, here I am, talking to you. Being able to talk at all.”

I’m pretty sure that Valhalla is actually Purgatory, so I dunno why you’re so happy.

jill “…”

new%20sei%20in%20pain “Don’t think too much about it. I’m fine! I’m totally fi-owowowowowow…”

jill “…”

new%20sei%20blushing “Eh…um…”

new%20sei%20blushing “H-How were things around here? I heard there was a huge commotion when the whole thing happened.”

jill “I had to sleep here in the bar on Saturday, but I guess it could’ve been worse.”

jill ”I mean, I could’ve been stuck on a terrace, forced to make small talk with my boss. Wait…”

new%20sei “Glad to know that.”

jill “Did you contact Stella? She was on the verge of despair yesterday.”

new%20sei%20sad “Eh…um…”

new%20sei%20blushing “H-Hey Jill! I want another drink! A…uh…um…a Bleeding Jane!”

jill “…”

What you actually have to do here is get her a Blue Fairy. The game will occasionally throw curveballs like this, and the correct choice usually relies on remembering a character’s favorite drinks, and other similar things.

new%20sei “Phew…”

new%20sei “Thanks!”

jill “Yeah…”

jill “So, how were things inside the bank?”

Violent, I’d imagine.

new%20sei%20in%20pain “cough cough Come again?”

jill “What happened inside the bank? How did you manage to get through it?”

new%20sei%20blushing “Um…I was with this nice bunch of people. Well…they were apparently nice at the very least.”

new%20sei “We tried our best to find our way out of the whole thing, cracking through the security, finding safe spots.”

new%20sei ”In the end, it turned out it was just an elaborate Room Escape challenge!”

new%20sei%20sad “But then…”

new%20sei%20sad “Um…”

new%20sei%20sad “…”

jill “Sorry for asking all that, it was obviously over the line.”

new%20sei%20blushing “N-No, don’t worry about it. It’s just the analgesics still numbing me.”

new%20sei “I’ll take my leave now. Thank you for everything, Jill.”

jill “Are you alright?”

Does she seem alright to you?

jill “…”

jill “sigh”

jill “Eh? Weren’t you leaving?”

new%20sei%20sad “Yeah, I was, but…well…”

new%20sei%20sad “You know how I just said I was fine?”

She was not.

jill “Yeah?”

new%20sei%20sad “I-I’m not.”

new%20sei%20sad “So I wanted to know if you could lend me your ear for a bit.”

jill “Well, I was gonna take my break…”

new%20sei%20blushing “Oh sorry…”

jill “No, what I mean is that I could lend you an ear if you don’t mind going to the back alley for a bit.”

Nothing at all suspicious about back alleys.

new%20sei%20blushing “Y-Yeah, please…”

That’s the end of this segment and somehow…no one has said “I see.” at all. Talk about a shocker!

Chowder · June 13, 2018, 1:51pm

The truest horror of this future dystopia is that humans have given dogs the gift of racism.

Also I have no idea what the fuck Dana means that both breeds are used by royalty. If she’s talking about the real-life Queen of England loving corgis, it’s a stretch to say she “uses” them. Corgis are herders, they’re a working class breed. I don’t think Her Extremely Old And Creaky Royal Majesty is going to be running around after sheep anytime soon. I’d pay money to see it though.

Fefnir · June 14, 2018, 5:13pm

“Haha, weebs, am I right? Anyway, here’s this character who’s a sex worker android who looks like a child. We didn’t have to include her, but we did.”

Chowder · June 15, 2018, 3:14pm

Best part is they’re trying to posit this as a healthy outlet for pedophilia as though that’s not a blaringly obvious admission of guilt.

kollontai420 · June 16, 2018, 10:09pm

new%20sei “Sorry, I haven’t smoked since high school.”

new%20sei “But don’t mind me though. Smoke ahead.”

jill “So…why me?”

new%20sei ”Because you’re the protagonist of this game.”

new%20sei “You’re the closest friend I have nearby that isn’t avoiding me and…I think I’m about to explode.”

This is just like Ground Zeroes all over again.

jill “Why?”

new%20sei “B-B-Because I’m afraid! I’m terrified! I’m scared!”

new%20sei “My colonel was using me when I made that errand, he saw me as a disposable pawn!”

new%20sei “Then the whole thing got closed at the bank.”

new%20sei “We were stuck there with no food or water for three days!”

new%20sei “I-I saw a man be beaten to death after he found some snack in his pocket…that…that…”

And that’s the day they finally changed the Klondike bar jingle.

new%20sei “I…I…”

jill “…”

new%20sei “When I was in rescue duties I usually dealt with collapsing buildings, fire, that kind of stuff.”

new%20sei “B-But seeing people do that to other people is just…”

new%20sei “I…sniff I…”

jill “Calm down, nobody will hurt you here.”

new%20sei “You sure?”

jill “I’ll make sure of it, just…take deep breaths.”

new%20sei “…”

jill “I can’t even imagine what happened there. And truth be told, I don’t want to imagine it.”

jill “But it’s easy to tell you bottled up everything while you were there.”

new%20sei “Is it obvious?”

jill ”Girl, you are an open book.”

jill “Kinda.”

new%20sei “Well, I had to get outta there. Fear would’ve only gotten in the way.”

new%20sei “And besides, I made a promise to come back to…”

new%20sei “Err…”

jill “Alright, what’s the deal with Stella?”

Subtext that might as well be text.

new%20sei “Nothing, I’m just…”

jill ”In denial?”

jill “Afraid?”

new%20sei “The word loses meaning after using it so much in so little time.”

new%20sei “She should’ve been worried sick, and I couldn’t call her after I came back. I’m afraid of what she will say.”

jill “She will insult you, she looks like that kind of girl.”

jill “But I’m betting all I have that she will be quickly happy that you’re fine and alive.”

new%20sei “Yeah…you’re right.”

jill “Think about it this way: a slap or despair for what’s left of her life.”

new%20sei “I wouldn’t pretend to disappear, I mean…”

jill “Besides, from what you tell me you’re pretty much only coming to your senses today, right?”

new%20sei “Yeah.”

new%20sei “It’s weird how everything change in such a short notice, you know?”

new%20sei “Get flipped turned upside down…”

new%20sei “On Thursday I was a girl doing her duties minding only her own business.”

new%20sei “Now I’m injured and woke up to find out I can’t go back to those duties.”

new%20sei “Part of me is happy, I knew full well White Knights usually did more harm than good.”

new%20sei “On the other hand, I really loved my job. Now I’m stuck with nothing to do.”

jill “Yeah, I know how that is. The life changing on such short notice part, I mean.”

new%20sei “Really?”

jill “I would tell you why I know that, but I think you should go see Stella right now.”

jill ”That, and I need to keep my backstory secret until the convenient moment arrives.”

new%20sei “Yeah, you’re right.”

jill “Speaking of which… Hey Gil!”

gil “What?”

jill “Do me a favor and escort Sei to…wherever she needs to go, please.”

gil “Only if you cover my share of the work.”

jill “Yeah, yeah…”

gil “Okay then. Let’s go Miss.”

new%20sei “R-Right!”

new%20sei “Thank you for hearing me out, Jill!”

jill “Anytime.”

jill “whew Hope everything goes alright.”

jill “Ah, hey Jamie.”

It’s everyone’s favorite Adam Jensen knockoff!

jill “Um… Jamie…”

jamie “Ah Jill. Gillian isn’t here I see.”

jill “Are you alright? You look distracted.”

jamie%20embarrassed “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

jill “If you say so.”

dana%20regular “Jiiiiiiiill! Where do I take Fore if he needs to use the bathroom?”

jill “The cage has a small litter box included!”

Just how big is that cage…or how small is that litter box?

dana%20regular “Oooooh, that’s convenient!”

jamie “Fore?”

jill “Fore’s my cat. Some apartments in my building are being inspected today…”

jill “So I brought him to work in case they enter my place while I’m gone.”

jamie “Ah, I see.”

jill “What can I get you?”

jamie “The usual Gut Punch.”

jill “Coming right up.”

jamie “I thought when someone ordered a Gut Punch, you had to make a joke…”

jamie “…about giving the client a punch to the stomach or something.”

jill “Oh, that? In theory, yeah. Gil’s the only one that pays attention to that though.”

jamie “Really?”

jill “He didn’t receive proper training, he read an old manual my boss had.”

jill “There WAS some sort of stipulation mentioning the need to say puns.”

jill “But it seems like it was some sort of anti-counterfeit measure.”

Like those old Lucasarts games, but for booze? Sounds a bit excessive.

jill “I mean, if they copied such a silly stipulation, they’d be caught in the act.”

jamie “Like when the dictionaries added fake words to spot if someone else just copied all of it?”

Wait, was that an actual thing or is the game making an actual goof here?

jill “Yup.”

jamie “Why not tell him that?”

jill “It’s too amusing, to be honest.”

jill “So, what’s on your mind that’s distracting you so much?”

jamie “Nothing you should think about too much.”

jamie “It’s like those times you just feel uneasy for no good reason.”

jill “You might have actual reasons to feel that way though.”

jill “Come to think of it, “mercenary” is quite the uncommon occupation, wouldn’t you say?”

jamie “I like to see what I do as bounty hunting actually.”

God, Jamie’s probably one of those people that actually think Boba Fett is cool.

jill “How so?”

jamie “The only jobs I don’t take are those where I have to deal with people who just happened to be in the wrong place.”

jamie “There are some people willing to pay to off someone that has done no wrong.”

Huge if true.

jamie “Things like killing someone that owns a house in the way of some building, or a nosy reporter.”

jamie “I’m not better for turning a blind eye to such requests, but I’m not gonna be the one dealing with those.”

jill “The bounty hunter part comes where?”

Getting to wear cool shit, I assume.

jamie “If I’m sent to kill someone that has done something like stealing or killing and I get paid for it…”

jamie “You could see it as bounty hunting.”

jill “Yeah, I guess.”

Technicalities are extremely badass.

jamie%20sideways%20look “It’s just cheap justifications for killing people though. In the end they’re cheap.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “However, I won’t be one to kill for petty reasons like those.”

jamie “But let’s change the subject here. I’ll have something bitter if you don’t mind.”

jill “Huh? Sure.”

As always, when presented with a broad choice, go for the most expensive option.

jamie “Ah yes…”

jill “You just reminded me of my grandpa.”

jill “He used to eat Bronson roots everyday. He said they made him stronger.”

jamie “Bronson roots have more nutrients per gram than most vitamin supplements.”

jamie “Your grandpa knew what he was doing.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “It seems I always manage to make you uncomfortable, Jill. Sorry.”

jill “Ah, no. Don’t worry.”

jill ”All of my friends make me uncomfortable.”

jill “Although I guess it’s mostly because I can’t wrap my mind around the whole “taking a human life” thing.”

jill “Knowing you’ve killed people and are now talking to me here? It’s…weird.”

jill “It reminds me of when I first took sex ed classes.”

jill “I couldn’t wrap my mind around people doing that stuff and living normally.”

jamie “Unlike with sex ed, it’s better that you stay that way, mind you.”

jamie “Taking lives is not something you should get used to.”

jamie “Ah yes, I know a good way to change the subject a bit.”

jamie “Would you like to hear about the most dangerous bounty hunter in the city?”

Ooh, I love stories!

jill “The way you said that was like offering a tale to a bored kid. But yeah, I’d like to hear that one.”

jamie “You see, there was actually a bounty hunter organization in this city not too long ago.”

Now I’m just imagining a union but for bounty hunters.

jamie “Law enforcement would put a price on a dangerous person’s head and pay for the proof of that person’s death.”

jamie “There was a guy called Jet Black James. He got the nickname because he always wore clothes.”

Sounds like a rejected Revengeance villain to me, buuut that’s probably the point.

jamie “The interesting thing was that the black clothes were there to hide blood stains he got from his contracts.”

jamie “His tracking skills were top-notch, his information network was the best.”

jamie “Some even joked he would finish the bounty within half an hour, or he wouldn’t take the reward.”

jamie “…he was too good, in fact.”

jamie “At one point he took all bounties and didn’t take a single reward. He was just that crazy by then.”

jamie “The last bounty that the organization ever posted was on James’ head.”

jamie “The police had him cornered. His last words were “Send it all to my account” before shooting himself.”

jill “Damn…why hasn’t that been made into a movie?”

jill “So…there were no more bounties after that?”

jamie “A registered bounty hunter was charged with many counts of manslaughter using his old targets as proof.”

jamie “If somebody else tried to recreate the organization, the seed of doubt would grow in little to no time.”

jamie “What guarantee is there that such an organization wouldn’t actually be a trap?”

jamie “They could use the registered bounty hunters to take care of the most bothersome criminals…”

jamie “And then dispose of the bounty hunters by pressing charges using their targets as evidence.”

Pretty sure you don’t need to reiterate the point here.

jamie “So…no. Jet Black James made sure that no law enforcement organization is able to set up bounty hunting of any kind.”

jamie “Ever since then, anyone crazy enough to be a bounty hunter works independently.”

jill “Were you part of that organization?”

jamie “I’ve actually had those suspicions I’m telling you about since the day I heard such a thing exists.”

jamie “Glad to know I wasn’t just paranoid.”

jill “I don’t know how well you changed the subject, but that was certainly one interesting story.”

jill “Just to make sure. You’re not a rebuilt Jet Black James or something, right?”

jamie%20embarrassed “The name James is pretty common, Jill.”

jamie “Besides, if I remember correctly, his real name was actually Theodore.”

jill “Oh.”

jamie “That story left my throat a bit dry. Get me a Beer, please.”

jill “Sure.”

jamie “One of mankind’s oldest friends. Cheers.”

jamie “One obvious thing I see is that you don’t take the use of the word “kill” in your stride the way Gillian does.”

jill “I’m not good with violence.”

jamie “That’s good.”

jamie “It’s interesting though. When I compare you two, it’s obvious Gillian has seen quite the share of traumatic stuff.”

Dude could be an immortal demigod for all I know.

jill “That guy’s a handful because of that sometimes.”

jill “Still, he’s one of the most reliable people I’ve ever met.”

jamie “Where is he, by the way?”

jill “I asked him to keep an eye on a girl that came here earlier.”

jill “I feel that if something happened, he could resolve the situation.”

jill “His nose must be itching after we talked so much about him.”

jamie “Yeah, maybe.”

jamie “Well, I’ve got to go.”

jill “Will do.”

jill “Man, today’s been quite heavy.”

jill “Everyone-…”

jill “…wait.”

jill (“If I say it out loud, I feel like I will just tempt fate.”)

jill (“…but let’s try it anyways.”)

jill “Everyone has just been gloomy face after gloomy face…and that dog.”

jill “I sure hope the next client changes that.”

Fuck.

jill “I KNEW IT! Err… I mean…”

jill “Quite the surprise to see you here again, Mr. Ingram.”

ingram “Got out of my job, I needed a drink badly, and I remembered this crackhouse was nearby.”

jill “What can I get you then?”

ingram “I’ll have a Bleeding Jane.”

jill “On it.”

ingram “Tastes just like the pasta sauce my mom used to make.”

ingram “Watered down, artificial, and nasty.”

Is this guy ever happy?

jill “So, where do you work, Mr. Ingram?”

ingram “I don’t have a specific job, but there’s this….well…”network” of engineers in need of assistants.”

ingram “I have no idea what they do there, but I can follow instructions and that’s all they need.”

ingram “Recently I’ve been working with this Sylia girl working on some experimental powered suits.”

_Is this an anime reference? It’s probably an anime reference.”

ingram “My only duty is to give them maintenance once a day.”

jill “What’s that about a “network”?”

ingram “All those nerds know each other and they recommend me.”

ingram “I don’t ask questions and quickly learn whatever they need.”

jill “Huh, sounds nice.”

ingram “It’s pretty monotonous at times though.”

jill ”Buddy, you don’t know the meaning of the word.”

ingram “Why are you giving me that look?”

jill “You’re just more cheerful than the last time you came.”

He is?

ingram “We all have good days and bad days. Today just so happens to be a not-bad day.”

ingram “Besides, with everyone scared shitless in the houses, the streets are clear with no traffic jams.”

That’s…one way to look at it, I guess.

ingram “That’s always a plus.”

jill “I guess.”

ingram “It almost became a bad day though, thanks to some teens on the way here.”

jill “What did they do?”

ingram “It’s not what they did, it’s what they said.”

Grown man brutally owned by children, more news at 11.

ingram “They were talking about how they should just go to Zaibatsu Corp’s HQ and blow it up.”

ingram “I’ve seen one too many kids throwing around that “let’s kill the king” attitude when it comes to Zaibatsu Crap.”

ingram “Even if Zaibatsu Corp’s building suddenly went down, the ones behind it would still be alive.”

ingram “Killing the head honcho just means his or her duties go to the next rimjobber on the totem.”

ingram “Hell, I bet they’re plotting to kill each other anyways.”

ingram “Kids these days see way too many action films where the rebels save the day by killing the “Evil Corporation”.”

I mean…he’s not actually wrong, to be honest. Hollywood movies’ vision of revolution is very much intentionally muddy, vague and individualistic.

jill “Don’t let it get to you.”

ingram “I don’t, I just hate teengars.”

Okay Shadow the Edgehog.

jill “It’s interesting though. A big corporation in control is somehow more dangerous than a regular government.”

Have you met an anarcho-capitalist?

ingram “I wouldn’t know. I’m not a political person.”

jill (“No shit.”)

ingram “Alright. Give me a Zen Star, and try not to mess it up.”

jill “Coming right up.”

ingram “Yes, it’s just as nasty as I’ve heard.”

jill “Why order it then?”

ingram “Not your problem.”

jill “…”

ingram “So, where’s the Red Comet?”

jill “My boss? She…”

dana%20regular “Jill, Fore’s headed your way!”

fore “…”

rad%20shiba “Oh! A customer. Sorry for the intrusion.”

ingram “You have a dog here? And a cat?”

jill “The cat’s mine, his name’s Fore. The dog just…hangs around here.”

He’s a valuable member of the team, Jill.

ingram “He looks well groomed and his fur looks healthy.”

ingram “Seems you take good care of him.”

jill “You seem to know a lot about cats.”

ingram “No, that’s just common sense.”

jill “Do you like cats, Mr. Ingram?”

ingram “I don’t dislike them.”

ingram “But I do dislike having animals near me when I’m eating or drinking.”

ingram “So… I’ll take my leave.”

jill “Please come again.”

jill “You said that last time.”

jill ”Please keep doing that.”

rad%20shiba “Fore’s as guilty as me.”

jill “Yeah, but I like Fore. He’s my baby.”

jill “Now go. Play or something.”

jill “Ah, you’re back. What happened with Sei?”

gil “I couldn’t see anything, but I guess she was happy.”

jill “Glad to hear that.”

gil “Did I miss something?”

jill “Only Jamie and…some other guy came.”

gil “I see.”

gil “You look exhausted.”

jill “Yesterday was filled with people carrying heavy emotional baggage.”

I’m pretty sure that’s just every day.

jill “I don’t mind it, but dealing with them tired me out a little bit.”

jill “I actually found myself wanting Dorothy to burst out of that door at any moment.”

Jill is definitely not okay.

gil%20slight%20smirk “So you missed Dorothy?”

jill “Kinda.”

jill “But anyway! Nothing a good night of sleep can’t fix.”

jill “Let’s just wrap things up around here and call it a day.”

This isn’t super related to what happened just now, but does anyone else feel like the game’s political commentary makes no sense at all? Apparently Glitch City is supposed to be based on Venezuela but not counting the economic crisis that comparison just…doesn’t work. It’s just a generic cyberpunk setting except it’s kinda anime. Bah, whatever, this game’s writing is confused in so many ways.

kollontai420 · June 23, 2018, 6:22pm

HYPE

LITERALLY NO GAMES

is anyone else tired of this monster girl meme?

No.

NO

I’m going to marry a monster girl!

I just want actual gameplay next time.

Why would you want gameplay in a Sukeban game?

idk, all I see is pretty girls with nothing to back it up.

any info on the hardware?

It’s probably going to be yet another underpowered piece of shit.

It’s not like the competition is any better.

Meh, I think I’ll just quit gaming. Nothing but trash as of late.

Yeah…remember when games were actually good and devs made them with love and care?

Me neither.

This thread is closed

Once known as the king of sports, soccer is no longer even a shadow of its former self.

After the corruption scandals of the last World Cup, fans have begun drifting towards the theatrical magic of the Pro-Wrestling industry. The latest GSF tournament pulled nearly twenty million viewers from Glitch City alone. As of this moment, fans seem to be vastly favoring pro-wrestling.

”It’s easier to follow something we know is predetermined as opposed to something that PRETENDS to be a legit sport,” said a fan outside the GSF arena.

”People kicking a ball is boring as sh*t, too.”

Something tells me the devs are bitter that football (or soccer, if you prefer) is the most popular sport.

During our weekly interview with Prime Minister QUINCY, he revealed his unusual taste for a certain rare food: fried chicken.

”I know it sounds a bit…rude to say I like something most people don’t have access to, but I just can’t deny my love for it.”

”When you taste a chicken breast like the ones that KENTA make, you just can’t go back!” QUINCY declared to the Augmented Eye.

In other news, QUINCY also expressed his desire to ban instant food, although he later said it was “in jest.”

”I wouldn’t ban instant food since that’s what people in this city like the most, and even though I hate it…no, I wouldn’t ban it.”

The “Waifu Revolution” from the 2010’s is no longer a laughing matter. What started as a trend has since gone out of control since the standardization of VR technologies, which allows people to live full-time inside their computers.

As a result of this craze, it shouldn’t be a huge surprise to know that the popular Monster Girlfriend franchise has become a commercial juggernaut, with millions of copies shipped in Glitch City alone.

Worldwide, the game has shipped nearly 90 million copies since its launch in March, making it a record holder that won’t quit.

Is the “Waifu Age” real? Well, there’s your answer!

I sure am glad that the future will be filled with even more gross fetishes and casual racism, myself.

jill “Is it? You two always make me feel like I’m late.”

dana%20regular “If it helps, that dog isn’t coming until some time later.”

The fact that Rad Shiba is one of the few people that Jill finds annoying is baffling to me, considering what some of the other characters are like.

dana%20regular “Anyway, do you have something planned for Sunday?”

jill “Watch silly Mega Christmas specials with 1000 grams of black fur on my lap. Why?”

Jill is the world’s first NEET that somehow has a job.

dana%20regular “I was thinking about holding a small Mega Christmas party here this Sunday. You in?”

jill “Sure. Why not?”

dana%20regular “Alright!”

dana%20regular “Invite any client you’re acquainted with. The more the merrier.”

jill ”Got a new weed carrier.”

jill “The raids stopped. They found whatever or whoever they were looking for.”

gil “Huh…”

jill “Anyways, we better start working.”

jill “Time to mix drinks and change lives.”

jill “Welcome to Valha-…”

jill “…”

norma “I want…a…Fluffy Dream.”

jill “…”

jill “May I see your ID, please?”

Jill can tell she’s underage? All the female characters in this game look like they’re around the same age, barring Dorothy, who just looks EVEN younger.

norma “I don’t have an ID because…um…”

norma “I’m the ghost of Mega Christmas Past!”

Have to admit, not liking this Dickens adaptation. I prefer the Muppet Christmas Carol myself.

norma “I’ll haunt you constantly unless you give me a Fluffy Dream.”

jill “Do you have money to pay for the drinks?”

norma “Well, I…”

jill “DO YOU?”

I don’t think money is the issue here, Jill.

norma “Yes! I-I have money.”

jill “…”

It sure is a good thing she ordered a drink which isn’t necessarily alcoholic.

norma “Wow, I actually got a drink!”

jill “…”

jill “So, who are you here to stalk, Miss Ghost of Mega Christmas Past?”

norma “Stalk? Oh right! I’m a ghost.”

norma “Uh…that guy! Yeah.”

jill “Which employee did you leave without a Mega Christmas, Gil?”

Gil has ruined five Mega Christmases and saved at least three.

gil “Jill, please.”

jill (“It would’ve been funny if he reacted to that.”)

jill “Sorry kid, I’m not in the mood to humor you today unless you have some sort of ID.”

norma “…here.”

jill ”This is just a crude drawing of a dick.”

jill “…well, in a year or so, I would gladly serve you a drink.”

I’m surprised that Glitch City even has a legal drinking age. Then again, they probably don’t enforce it much.

jill “But until then, this is no place for you.”

norma “But I already got a drink!”

jill “A non-alcoholic one.”

Syke.

jill “You didn’t expect me to really give you a drink, right?”

norma “Uh…”

jill “So, if you would please leave…”

norma “I-I can’t leave! Not after trying so hard to even get here.”

jill “…”

jill “sigh”

jill “Alright, let’s start from the beginning, Miss…Norma.”

norma “How did you know my name?”

jill ”I’m a mind reader.”

jill “I saw your ID.”

norma “It could’ve been a fake ID.”

jill “I don’t think you’re stupid enough to make a fake ID that DOESN’T put you at 18 at the very least.”

norma “…!”

norma “You’re very sharp, Miss Bartender.”

Is she, though? Anyone can read an ID.

jill “You look like a nice girl, Norma. Why come to a bar like this?”

To get fucked up, one would assume.

norma “Uh…um…”

norma “You seem like you’re in a bad mood, Miss Bartender.”

gil “Nah, she’s just like that all the time.”

jill “Shut up.”

jill “sigh Sorry if I’ve been harsh.”

jill “These last couple of days have been…heavy.”

Not to spoil anything, but you don’t know the half of it, Jill.

jill “And having someone underage here reminds me of a certain…incident from last week.”

norma “Incident?”

Yeah, Jill, you’re gonna need to specify. Half of your clientele are walking incidents.

jill “Well…”

Five hours later.

jill ”…and that’s why I’m no longer allowed step foot in Neo-San Francisco.”

jill “…don’t change the subject, young lady. Why did you come here?”

norma “What do you care?! I can do whatever I want!”

Ah, to be a teen again.

jill “Unless it’s illegal. In which case anyone can, should, and probably will stop you.”

norma “…”

norma “I just…just wanted to be more wild, you know?”

jill “Wild?”

norma “My mom puts way too many expectations on my shoulders.”

norma “I’ve always been out to make sure I don’t disappoint her.”

norma “But it’s never enough! It’s not good enough to have good grades.”

norma “She also wants me to go out and take a college preparation course.”

norma “And I’m tired! I don’t wanna do things for her anymore!”

jill “So you came to a bar.”

norma “Maybe if I came back home smelling like alcohol, she would leave me alone.”

norma “If I’m not good enough for her, I might as well kill any hope she has in me.”

jill “It’s funny. I have a friend who is also being pressured by her mother.”

norma “Really?”

jill “Yeah, but in her case, it’s being pressured to settle down and form a family.”

norma “Oh…”

jill “So, let me get this straight. You came here to make your mother disappointed?”

Defying parental authority is like, Being A Teenager 101, Jill, get with the program.

norma “Yes.”

jill “Do you like alcohol?”

norma “Actually, I think it’s nasty.”

jill “Then you’re doing things wrong.”

norma “What?”

jill “If you’re gonna disappoint your mom, at least do it with something you like.”

Spite is an absurdly powerful motivator.

jill “Like…become a belly dancer because you wanna be a belly dancer.”

jill “Otherwise you’re just trying to hurt her for the sake of hurting her.”

jill “Let’s start with something. What do you like doing?”

norma “I…don’t know.”

norma “I’ve been so focused on trying to be good enough that I haven’t been able to think about what I wanna do.”

That seems to a trend with kids that get straight A’s in school.

jill “Don’t you think you should start there?”

norma “Eh?”

jill “What good is doing something just for the sake of hurting someone?”

jill “If she gets disappointed in you over something you like doing, you have the right to protest.”

jill “But if you’re hurting her by hurting yourself over something you don’t enjoy…”

norma “Sounds silly, huh.”

jill “Very.”

jill “Go home. Do some self-discovery before hurting your mom, would you?”

jill ”Get yourself together, man. Move to Philly. Buy a loft. Start a noise band. Get six or seven roommates. Eat hummus with them. Book some gigs. Paint. Smoke cloves. Listen to Animal Collective. Start some type of salsa company.”

jill “Or at the very least, humor her until you’re old enough to move out.”

norma “Yeah, you’re right.”

norma “…thanks, Miss Bartender.”

jill “Call me Jill.”

jill “Careful out there!”

gil “In the end you did humor her for a bit.”

jill “Shut up.”

norma “Oh! A doggy!”

rad%20shiba “Hello little girl!”

jill “Oh shit.”

jill “You’re late.”

rad%20shiba “Missed me, J?”

jill “…”

jill “You’re too early.”

jill “Boss, will he be any good around here?”

He’s here to provide moral support, clearly.

rad%20shiba “I’m right here.”

jill “I know.”

dana%20regular “Of course, I spent lots of time training him. Why do you think he didn’t show up last week?”

jill “Because how the hell would I know you’d bring a PART-TIMER DOG?!”

dana%20regular “Here, let me show you.”

dana%20regular “Sit.”

rad%20shiba “SIR YES SIR.”

dana%20regular “Roll.”

rad%20shiba “SIR YES SIR.”

dana%20regular “Paw.”

rad%20shiba “SIR YES SIR.”

jill “Training…of course.”

jill “He’s only shouting “sir yes sir” and not doing anything else though.”

dana%20peeved “I never said I did a PERFECT job.”

jill “Hm? Is that a motorcycle?”

gil “In the end, he’s just a dog, I guess.”

jill “Y-Yes?”

mario “…bathroom.”

jill “Oh, sorry. It’s only for clients.”

mario%20shocked “…”

Me too, buddy. That policy is atrocious.

jill “Oh…um…promise me you’ll buy something afterwards. It’s that door over there.”

dana%20regular “Who the hell are you?”

jill “The other one!”

jill “Sheesh…”

dana%20regular “I said get out of my desk!”

rad%20shiba “But the world’s ending!”

dana%20regular “It was just a motorcycle.”

rad%20shiba “They’re the 4 Riders, then!”

dana%20regular “Those are horsemen, and it already stopped.”

jill “Don’t mention it.”

mario “I need to buy something now, right?”

jill “Oh no, you don’t have to. Sorry if it looked like I meant to inconvenience you.”

mario “No, I’ll order something. I need a rest anyways.”

jill “What can I get you?”

mario%20blushing “A…Piano Woman…would be nice.”

jill “Sorry, didn’t hear you.”

mario%20shocked “ahem I’ll have a Marsblast.”

jill “Eh…sure.”

Long story short: we serve him the drinks he actually wants before he finally embraces that he doesn’t need to be masc.

mario%20smiling “…”

jill “You look happy.”

mario%20shocked “Shut up.”

jill “Is that motorcycle out there yours, mister…?”

mario “Call me Mario. And yes, it’s mine.”

mario “Sorry for the noise.”

jill “Oh, don’t worry. It’s not like you stayed outside too long or anything.”

jill “So, what do you work as, Mario?”

mario%20smiling “I live to paint the roads black with my wheels, leaving the trail of my engine’s sounds wherever I go.”

mario%20smiling “I’m a rebel. Fuck the red lights! Fuck the speed limits! Fuck the helmet laws! The roads are mine and mine only. I am-…”

A jackass?

Ooh, is she gonna dress up as a cocktail, spin a sign around and stuff? Sounds dope.

mario%20smiling “Hello doggie!”

rad%20shiba “Hello shady guy!”

mario%20shocked “S-Shady…”

jill “Alright.”

gil “Careful.”

mario “Who was she?”

jill “Oh, she’s my boss.”

mario “She was cute.”

mario%20blushing “Err…not that you’re not cute. And it’s not like I’m into girls either.”

mario%20blushing “Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I just…”

That’s certainly one way to come out, I guess.

jill “So, where do you work, Mario?”

mario “I told you, I’m a rebel, I…”

jill “Rebels can’t maintain those bikes for too long. What’s your DAY job?”

mario “…I’m a delivery boy.”

Only semi-related, but do you ever start ordering from a place so frequently that the delivery people start to recognize you? Because I’ve done that.

jill “That’s really appropriate, I guess.”

jill “What do you deliver?”

mario “I’m from a courier company. So it’s kinda like mail, I guess.”

mario “I’m always around the city and I know it like the palm of my hand.”

mario “Sure, I might not remember every building, but I remember every intersection and every street.”

jill “That’s nice. I still can’t take detours without feeling totally lost.”

mario%20smiling “Try guiding yourself with the help of landmarks. Around here, the Saber Station’s antenna is a good reference.”

mario “Err…I mean…what do I care? Fix that yourself, b-bitch.”

jill “Do you want anything else, Mario?”

mario “I guess a Moonblast would be nice.”

jill “Moonblast?”

mario%20shocked “EEEEEEH GUT PUNCH. Yeah, that…one.”

Embrace the fem within you, Mario.

jill “…”

Same process as before.

mario “Heh…this is good.”

jill “It’s a Moonblast.”

mario%20shocked “…”

mario%20shocked “I…”

mario “No, nevermind.”

jill “Say, Mario. Why do you try so hard to keep up that tough guy image?”

Depends on if you want a long ass LGBT history lesson, Jill.

mario “…it isn’t working?”

jill “Maybe when you arrived and had to go to the bathroom, but after that you just looked…cute.”

mario “Cute…”

jill “So, why do it?”

mario “Bikers are supposed to be scary, right?”

Suuure, that’s why.

mario “Rebels that cause trouble and ride free from society’s ties.”

jill “If we applied that brand of logic here, I should be wearing one third of my clothes and lighting drinks on fire.”

mario%20blushing “I guess.”

jill “You can do whatever you want and dress however you want. It’s just that you look like you’re trying so hard.”

jill “Like you really don’t enjoy that.”

mario “…it’s not a LIE.”

jill “Who says you can’t dress as a biker and still be a nice kid?”

mario “Yeah, but other bikers…”

It’s just like that old cliche your parents said about peer pressure and jumping off of bridges.

jill “That sounded like something someone in high school would say.”

mario%20shocked “Ugh…”

jill “sigh It’s just advice. Don’t take it too personally.”

mario “No, you’re right. I don’t have to be that way.”

jill “Unless you want to. I ain’t stopping you there.”

mario “Yeah, but I don’t. It’s tiring and I don’t feel good.”

jill “If you want, you can try to stay quiet. You were pretty intimidating when you did that.”

He was?

mario “I see.”

jill “Will you have another drink or did you have too many already?”

mario “I can handle another one. Get me a Fringe Weaver.”

jill “Sure.”

We did it, kids!

mario “Yup, that’s the one. Thanks.”

mario “Say, that guy over there.”

jill “Gil? What’s up with him?”

mario “Are you dating him?”

jill ”Fuck no.”

jill “No.”

mario “Is he seeing anyone?”

jill “Not as far as I know.”

mario “Do you think he…”

jill “He…?”

Oh come on, Jill. Be a good wingman.

mario%20shocked “No, nevermind! I said nothing.”

jill “Please come again.”

jill “…”

jill “Ah, Gil. You heartbreaking fuckboy.”

Took you long enough.

gil “Eh? What?”

jill “Nothing.”

jill “I’ll be taking my break now, Gil.”

gil “Okay. Careful.”

Chowder · June 24, 2018, 4:38pm

That thing about dictionaries is an actual thing, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to compare two dictionaries word-by-word to find a made-up word. Might actually prefer playing this game to that. Only just, though.