Where At Least One Person Knows Your Name - Let's Play VA-11 HALL-A!

jillyawn G’mornin’.”

dana%20regular “It’s 11 a.m., though.”

jill “That’s morning for me on the weekends…and any other day. How’s everything outside?”

dana%20regular “Still noisy, but forces have been deployed to take care of most of ‘em at least.”

jill “How so?”

dana%20regular “Zaibatsu Corp’s President is pleading with “anyone” to stop the rogue White Knights.”

dana%20regular “Neighboring city forces were deployed quickly and have subdued most of the opposition.”

dana%20regular “There have also been reports of White Knights just…freezing. Like they were petrified somehow.”

jill “You make it sound like some god suddenly decided to put everything in place.”

dana%20regular “Well I’m just glad there are no bullets flying in and out of the whole building.”

dana%20regular “Sure, there’re still some bad apples out and it’s not really safe yet, but it was worse last night.”

dana%20peeved “There also seems to be a civilian force lynching any White Knight they spot.”

dana%20peeved “So not only are the White Knights a problem, regular folks are on edge too.”

jill (“I wonder if Sei is okay…”)

jill “Should we be worried about Gil?”

dana%20regular “That kid knows how to take care of himself.”

dana%20regular “I’m sure that…whatever it is that he’s doing, he’s safe.”

dana%20regular “Dare I say even safer wherever he is than here.”

jill “I sure hope so.”

jill “Are we gonna work today?”

dana%20regular “Nah, things are too nasty right now. Let’s take the Sunday off.”

jill “Oh, alright.”

dana%20regular “Say, do you want me to help you get to your apartment?”

jill “Actually yeah, I’d appreciate that.”

dana%20regular “Okay then. Let me lock things up and we’ll go.”

dana%20regular “We’ll grab something for lunch on the way.”

jill “Sounds good.”

jill “Home sweet home. Thanks a lot.”

jill “Hey Boss, wanna hang out for a bit?”

dana%20regular “Hm?”

jill “Yeah, grab a Beer, chill out for a bit… Mostly to thank you for helping me.”

dana%20regular “Well, I don’t have much to do anyway. So yeah, sure.”

dana%20regular “I did tell you you should invite me over to your apartment sometime, didn’t I?”

jill “Oh, yeah. You did.”

dana%20regular “What worries me a bit is that Beer always leads to something else.”

jill “To more Beer?”

dana%20regular “I was gonna say, “To one of us going through the Spanish announcers’ table.””

dana%20regular “But I think we’re safe here.”

jill “Come on in, then.”

dana%20regular “Excuse me…”

dana%20regular “Sorry, I don’t smoke. Don’t mind me though, smoke if you wanna.”

dana%20regular “Say, how is the chilly weather treating you?”

jill “It gets cold from time to time but nothing the kotatsu and the heater can’t fix.”

jill “Oh right, Boss. You’re not very good with the cold, are you?”

dana%20regular “You know it…”

jill “You didn’t bring your jacket here either.”

dana%20regular “Yeah, I left it at home when going to the bar yesterday.”

dana%20regular “It wasn’t that cold and I didn’t expect to spend the night at the bar.”

jill “Would you like a sweater or something?”

dana%20regular “Oh, don’t mind me.”

jill “I insist. I have this hoodie from some time ago and it was too big for me.”

dana%20regular “Why buy it then?”

jill “It was dirt-cheap!”

dana%20regular “Right…”

dana%20regular “Wait…w-where did you get this one?”

jill “Dunno. Some flea market ages ago. Why?”

dana%20regular “Nothing. It’s just like one I had many years ago.”

jill “What happened to it?”

dana%20regular “Too much use, it just…ripped.”

jill “I see…”

jill “You can keep it if you want, I never use it anyway.”

dana%20regular “Um…we’ll see.”

jill “Come to think of it, how old are you, Boss?”

dana%20regular “I’m eternally seventeen!”

jill “Fair enough. Seventeen plus how much?”

dana%20regular “Seventeen plus I’d have to cut your tongue if you knew.”

jill “…alright.”

jill “Let me go change into something more comfortable.”

dana%20regular “Take your time.”

dana%20regular “…”

dana%20regular “…”

dana%20regular “Say Jill, there’s a blue-eyed mass of black fur glaring in my general direction.”

jill “Hm? Oh, that’s just Fore. He’s just wary of any new visitors. Cats will be cats, I guess.”

jill “He’ll warm up quickly though. Just give him time.”

dana%20regular “He’s unusual-looking. Blue eyes on a black cat. They usually have green.”

jill “Yeah, weird, huh?”

jill “At first I thought they were like that because he was small but they never changed.”

dana%20regular “Back at home we had a bear.”

jill “Ah, I se-…what?”

dana%20regular “Good ol’ Bosco. He kept intruders away better than any dog.”

jill “R-Right…”

jill “What? Me taking such a sappy pic?”

dana%20regular “No, a framed picture on vintage paper. It’s so…vintage.”

dana%20regular “Who are these?”

jill “That’s…um…”

jill “The one on the right is Lenore, my…ex-girlfriend. The one on the left is Gabrielle, her sister.”

dana%20regular “Huh. Is this pic recent or…?”

jill “Actually, that one’s from 3-4 years ago.”

dana%20regular “…”

dana%20regular “You look exactly the same.”

jill “I’m only 27. What did you expect? That’s why they say kids are the ones that get old.”

dana%20regular “I thought it was recent because you don’t usually see people displaying pictures of their exes so openly.”

dana%20regular “…let alone a printed and framed one.”

dana%20regular “Did you two break up on good terms, then? You even hesitated a bit when calling her your ex.”

jillsigh Let’s just say that everything ended with both of us saying mean things.”

jill “…and me storming out of her house, breaking a couple of things on the way out.”

jill “We never broke up formally…and I guess I still have feelings for her.”

jill “I just…went away, haven’t said a word since.”

dana%20regular “Really? It’s…hard to picture you doing such a thing. And you look so happy in the pic.”

dana%20regular “Why have her pic out like this then?”

jill “I just couldn’t get my mind off something that Alma said to me.”

jill “About missing having the warmth of someone else pressed against your side…”

jill “Using them as a pillow, mixing your perfume with theirs.”

jill “Putting your head in their chest, listening to their breathing as they pet your head.”

jill “Dozing off, knowing they’re there, watching you. Protecting you…”

jill “I don’t know. I felt nostalgic…then miserable.”

jill “…”

dana%20regular “…”

jill “I’ve been meaning to apologize, but I feel like it’s too late now.”

jill “Whenever I go out, there’s this fear in the back of my head that I’ll meet her in the street.”

jill “I just don’t know if I could face her again. Let alone talk to her.”

jill “…I’d be a mess.”

dana%20regular “It’s never too late to apologize, Jill.”

jill “Maybe.”

jill “…!”

dana%20regular “Looks like an enve-…”

jill “It’s nothing! NOTHING! Now, please give that to me.”

dana%20regular “I saw nothing, don’t worry.”

jill “…”

jill “A-Anyway… Let’s grab some Beers!”

dana%20regular “Guide me.”

jill “Well, the BTC gives me discounts and a point card I can use every time I buy their alcohol.”

jill “With that, Beer is actually the cheapest drink I can get.”

dana%20regular “Is there any difference between the drinks at the bar and these?”

jill “The drinks at the bar are more addictive, flavorful and also stronger than the ones they sell in stores.”

jill “And besides, the one in the bar is more of a Double IPA. This one is more of a Pilsner.”

dana%20regular “In English, please.”

jill “This one’s lighter in color and lighter in flavor.”

dana%20regular “Dunno, it doesn’t taste like a lighter to me.”

jillpffffft

dana%20regular “Is this one made with that…um…what was the name of the base liquid you use at the bar again?”

jill “Nutriogenic Dichometrical Lydogenol, or NDL.”

dana%20regular “It was a supplement or something, right?”

jill “It was an experimental fluid they created to replace water when the Maiden Kiss polluted water supplies.”

jill “The effects of pollution turned out to be temporary, so NDL never went into mass production.”

jill “But the BTC still commissioned it for use in bars.”

dana%20regular “And this one is made with it?”

jill “Let’s see…yup, here it is, near the end: NDL and corn starch.”

dana%20regular “Corn starch?”

jill “It serves as a stabilizer, if I remember correctly. They need it for packaged drinks.”

dana%20regular “I see. And I just realized something.”

jill “What?”

dana%20regular “You’re a nerd, Jill.”

jill “Guilty as charged.”

jill “I still have that bottle of rum somewhere around. Do you want some of it?”

dana%20regular “Will you have some too?”

jill “Not really, no.”

dana%20regular “Then leave it like that. I’m not letting you drink Beer alone. That’s not how drinking with friends works.”

Also, you should never mix your drinks.

jill “Do you consider me a friend then, Boss?”

dana%20regular “Why wouldn’t I?”

jill “Dunno, what with being my boss and all. I was never too sure.”

dana%20regular “Well, in case you had any doubts: Yes, I consider you one of my best friends.”

dana%20regular “Besides, you and Gil are always so diligent and responsible that I’m boss in name only anyway.”

jill “That’s good to know.”

dana%20regular “On a side note, it surprises me you kept that poster of me in your room.”

dana%20regular “And even more that you hung it in plain sight.”

dana%20regular “When I gave it to you, it was more or less a joke, you know?”

jill “Does it make you uncomfortable?”

dana%20regular “If it doesn’t make you uncomfortable, why would it make ME uncomfortable? It’s my own face.”

dana%20regular “I’m still wondering why you did it though.”

jill “Aside from filling an empty spot in the wall, I don’t really know. I thought it was funny too.”

jill “I guess it’s like if someone gave you…dunno.”

jill “A dildo-shaped trophy or something and you had it there as a conversation starter.”

jill “Although no one comes here anyways, so it’s kinda pointless.”

dana%20regular “What? No steamy nights of passion?”

jill “Not since…a year ago I think. And I’d rather not talk about what happened then.”

dana%20regular “Did someone hurt you? Because if they did, I can go dish out the pain.”

jill “No, nothing of the sort. A different kind of mess.”

jill “Uncomfortable mess. A ‘not being able to have sex for reasons’ mess.”

jill “Glad to know you have my back though.”

dana%20regular “That’s what friends are for.”

dana%20regular “Wait, you talk about the poster and compare it to having a dildo-shaped trophy…”

dana%20regular “Did you just call me Dildo Face?”

jill “That’s what friends are for.”

dana%20regular “…”

dana%20regular “Hey, Jill. Where did you get that black Fore ball?”

jill “Well, as with any black cat or house cat in general, he’s actually a stray.”

jill “I found him in the alleys near the building. Not long after I moved here, I think.”

dana%20regular “Ah, I see.”

jill “It was quite the sight though. He was cornered by all these dogs but they were keeping their distance.”

jill “He was holding his ground, hissing and scratching as much as he could.”

jill “There was a fried chicken bucket nearby that had some rain water in it, so I threw the water over the dogs.”

jill “They ran and I figured the cat’s mom would be nearby, so I left.”

jill “Then I noticed people looking in my direction as I walked. Turns out the little shit started following me.”

dana%20regular “So you brought it home.”

jill “At first, I wanted to see if I could find him a new home, but…”

jill “Having him welcome me whenever I came back was just too much for my heart, so he ended up staying.”

dana%20regular “It was destiny, girl.”

jill “When he came, he was so cute though. Not like the fat mass that’s sleeping on the table.”

“Fore”: “Hey, you’re not a spring chicken yourself, you know.”

dana%20regular “…”

jill “…”

dana%20regular “Oho…”

jill “…shit, I actually did that in front of someone else.”

dana%20regular “Ohohohoho…”

jill “A-Anyway…”

dana%20regular “Don’t “anyway” me, do you normally speak for your cat like that?”

jill “…maybe.”

jillsigh I wonder if Gil’s alright.”

dana%20regular “You worried about him?”

jill “You make it sound like I’m some emotionless robot.”

dana%20regular “You can be hard to read.”

dana%20regular “I wouldn’t worry about Gil so much though. There’s three things I know for certain about him.”

dana%20regular “First: He can take care of himself.”

dana%20regular “Second, you can sincerely trust him.”

jill “And third?”

dana%20regular “He absolutely hates bell pepper.”

jill “He does?”

dana%20regular “I’ve seen him even reject food that has been in contact with it.”

jill “Man, what a baby…unless he’s allergic or something.”

dana%20regular “He’s not.”

jill “Man, what a baby.”

jill “How did you meet such a guy?”

dana%20regular “He…showed up in the door of a bar.”

jill “He…what?”

dana%20regular “Well, it was shortly after the whole incident with Robert and the levitation potion.”

jill (“Right…”levitation potion”.”)

dana%20regular “It was a slow day and he just…showed up at the bar.”

dana%20regular “I offered him a drink, but he said he didn’t have money on him.”

dana%20regular “I…couldn’t leave him alone, so I pretty much gave the drinks for free.”

dana%20regular “And after a couple, he broke down crying.”

jill “He…huh?”

dana%20regular “I don’t know what he did, but he was really, REALLY regretting it.”

dana%20regular “He wanted a second chance or whatever and I told him if he could wash himself I’d find him a job.”

dana%20regular “And I’ll be damned, he looked totally different the next day.”

jill “Damn…”

dana%20regular “I tried and failed to find out anything about him.”

dana%20regular “So I decided to take him at face value. I’d judge him from what he did as an employee.”

dana%20regular “And aside from the occasional sudden escapade, he’s been as loyal as loyal gets.”

dana%20regular “I return the favor in kind, covering his ass from time to time…sometimes literally.”

jill “What surprises me is that you took him in so easily.”

dana%20regular “I can take care of myself and I always kept an eye on him.”

dana%20regular “And besides, after the whole Robert thing I couldn’t ignore someone that desperate so easily…”

jill “I see…”

dana%20regular “You’ve made the bar more lively yourself, you know?”

jill “How so?”

dana%20regular “Well, with the regulars you’ve earned of course.”

dana%20regular “Like that blonde titty hacker. I can’t remember her name.”

Blonde titty hacker is basically her entire character.

jill “Alma?”

dana%20regular “I was gonna say Armitage.”

jill “She’s a nice girl, you know?”

dana%20regular “I don’t think she’s young enough to be called a “girl”.”

jill “Says the “Girl Who’s Eternally Seventeen.””

jill “In any case, she’s really lovely.”

jill “When you hear her speak of her family, she speaks with such love. Her face just brightens up.”

Are we talking about the same character here?

jill “It makes me kind of jealous that she has such a close relationship with them, to be honest.”

dana%20regular “You have bad relations with your family?”

jill “Not bad, but I’m not exactly close to anyone aside from my mom, dad and aunt.”

jill “But back to Alma, I’m really hoping she finds a nice guy to settle with.”

jill “I mean, she’s so bent into finding one, I can’t help but want her to succeed.”

dana%20regular “Ah, I see.”

dana%20regular “There’s also that sex worker robot girl.”

jill “Ah, Dorothy.”

dana%20regular “She intrigues me, though. I’ve seen lots of sex workers over the years, and she seems pretty giddy.”

dana%20regular “It’s not that she likes her job, but rather that she takes to it with such childish excitement.”

jill “I’ve kinda noticed that too. But then again, Lilim can be weird.”

dana%20regular “You think?”

jill “Lilim operate in some really foreign logic.”

jill “I mean, they don’t really share our fear of mortality.”

jill “Even if their bodies are destroyed, their minds are already backed up in the collective source.”

jill “If they lose an arm, they can reattach it or replace it.”

jill “Depending on the circumstances, they might not even feel pain at all.”

jill “It’s not like they haven’t attained human-like emotions like fear or love, but they are…different.”

jill “Like a different culture, if you must.”

dana%20regular “Hmm…I didn’t see it that way.”

jill “Aside from that, Dorothy is a DFC-72. It’s a “Social Interactions” model or something.”

jill “Lilim get positive reinforcement straight from their bodies if they’re fulfilling their main purpose, so…”

jill “I’m guessing she gets a built-in push whenever she’s in a “meaningful” or challenging social interaction.”

dana%20regular “Interesting.”

dana%20regular “The name “Lilim” is a bit weird though.”

jill “It is?”

dana%20regular “You’d expect them to be called “Bots” or “Dolls”, but “Lilim” doesn’t convey the image of automatons.”

jill “Just a tip. “Bots” and “Dolls” are considered slurs by them.”
:tw: Ableist slur coming up. :tw:

jill “”Bot” is akin to calling them retarded and “Doll” is like calling them fake.”

dana%20regular “Thanks for the advice.”

dana%20regular “That aside, do you know why they’re called Lilim?”

jill “As far as I know, because they all come from a bigger AI called Lilith.”

jill “And Lilim are Lilith’s offspring in Jewish folklore.”

dana%20regular “Ooooooh, cool.”

dana%20regular “Hey, speaking of names, why don’t you like being called by your full name?”

jill “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

dana%20regular “Don’t act stupid.”

dana%20regular “Back when you first transferred, I called you Julianne and you almost tore me a new one with your glare.”

jill “…”

dana%20regular “See? Like that.”

jill “It’s no big secret, but it’s one of those things that feels silly when you say it out loud.”

dana%20regular “Try me.”

jill “Well…did you ever watch “Model Warrior Julianne”?”

dana%20regular “Not all of it, but my little sister’s a big fan of the reruns.”

jill “Back when I was in elementary school I was a HUGE fan of the show.”

jill “I had everything. From the dolls to the costumes to the lunch boxes.”

jill “It didn’t help that it was one of those shows that got strapped literally everywhere.”

dana%20regular “I saw a couple of episodes once. They were really nice!”

jill “It was beyond nice! The show’s about a model who can transform into an armor-clad magic knight.”

jill “She fights demons born from greed and vanity.”

jill “How the job presented Jules hating her job because it invited enemies.”

jill “And yet still found solace in trying to be a role model…”

jill “Hell, the main character wasn’t a kid. Julianne was an adult that became younger when transformed.”

jill “I’d say it was a pretty ambitious kids show.”

Truly the Steven Universe of its time.

jill “Even by today’s standards!”

jill “Just the fact that her enemies were literally issues dealing with beauty standards of body image…”

jill “Challenging as fuck.”

dana%20regular “Whoa, you got excited there.”

jill “And that is the problem. Back then I was obsessed with Jules.”

jill “I sang the songs, dressed like her. I could even recite full chapters.”

dana%20regular “Something tells me you still can.”

jill “…that’s beside the point.”

jill “It was nice while I was in elementary school, but then I went to middle school…”

jill “And what a surprise, tweens are jackasses.”

jill “They went out of their way to tease me about things I did back then.”

jill “I don’t hold it against Jules. I always hold my grudge against those fuckjobs.”

dana%20regular “Sounds rough.”

jill “You know how most girls worry about their thighs at that age?”

jill “I worried about jerkasses singing the theme tune of the show mocking me.”

jill “Anyways, everytime someone calls me Julianne or Jules, I instinctively react negatively.”

jill “Pavlov would be proud of me.”

jill “I never talk about it because I find the whole thing too silly in retrospect.”

dana%20regular “And yet, it affects you even today. There’s nothing wrong with it though.”

dana%20regular “It’s actually kinda reasonable.”

jill “I sure hope so.”

jill “Come to think of it. What kind of kid were you, Boss?”

dana%20regular “When I was a toddler, I was the kind to always fight with kids bigger than me.”

dana%20regular “Then puberty happened and I became the Merriam-Webster definition of “shallow jerkwad”.”

dana%20regular “Around the time I turned 16, I realized what an idiot I was and went on to become who I am today.”

dana%20regular “And the less I talk about those years from 12 to 15, the better.”

jill “Fair enough.”

dana%20regular “So Jill, what kind of guy was your grandpa?”

jill “He was rough around the edges. The kind of guy that means well even if he says otherwise.”

jill “He seemed to have a soft spot for me, though.”

jill “One moment, he was congratulating my dad by berating him a little…”

jill “…and the next, he was playing with me.”

jill “My dad worked a lot and my mom was always travelling, so I spent most of my childhood with him.”

dana%20regular “Can I ask how he died?”

jill “Out of old age. My dad says his last words were something like…”

jill “”Fucking scientists. Created talking mannequins, but they still can’t let you upload your brain…””

jill “Why the question?”

dana%20regular “I’m curious about you. Really curious.”

dana%20regular “I just realized that even though we see each other almost every day, I know very little about you.”

jill “Oh.”

dana%20regular “From what you tell me though, seems your grandpa’s personality rubbed off on you a bit.”

jill “I’ve heard that one since I was a kid, actually.”

jill “You know, Boss, I’m a bit curious about your circle of friends. What kind of people do you have in it?”

dana%20regular “Keep in mind, you’re included in this circle too, so any insults you hurl will apply right back to you.”

dana%20regular “Anyways. I have this friend I’ve known for a long time. A red-headed, glasses-wearing gun-nut called Iris.”

jill “The one you called for the helmet thing?”

dana%20regular “That one.”

dana%20regular “She’s managing a BTC bar in Panama right now, if I remember correctly…”

jill “She’s managing a bar too?”

dana%20regular “I got the idea from her, actually.”

jill “Oh.”

dana%20regular “It’s called N1-RV Ann-A, and if you thought this city was dangerous…”

dana%20regular “You should see the people she has to deal with there.”

Sounds like a sequel hook to me.

dana%20regular “Piracy ain’t nothing to fuck with.”

jill “”Ann” means it’s an annex to another business. What else does she do there?”

dana%20regular “I think the bar was originally her hotel’s bar.”

dana%20regular “She moved the bar to its own building elsewhere and opened N1-RV Ann-B in the hotel instead.”

jill “Weird decision.”

dana%20regular “I believe she said she wanted a place “away from the noisy rich tourists that go to the hotel.””

dana%20regular “So that bar is her woman cave.”

jill (“Woman cave…”)

dana%20regular “That aside, let’s see…friends, friends…”

dana%20regular “I guess there’s also my little sister, but that’s a given.”

dana%20regular “Oh! There’s also my old partner from when I was with the Neo-San Francisco police force.”

dana%20regular “Good ol’ Lexi. Should give her a call sometime.”

2064: Read Only memories is available on your PC, Mac, Linux, Playstation 4, Playstation Vita, Android and iOS.

jill “Wait, you were in the what?!”

dana%20regular “I’ve done lots of things, Jill.”

dana%20regular “I spent a short time collaborating with the police force. I’ve been a wrestler, an MMA fighter…”

dana%20regular “Chimney cleaner, lumberjack, pet shop attendant, corporate mascot…”

…boxer, mascot, astronaut, imitation Krusty, baby proofer, trucker, hippie, plow driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, carnie, mayor, grifter, bodyguard for the mayor, country western manager, garbage commissioner, mountain climber, farmer, inventor, Smithers, Poochie, celebrity assistant, power plant worker, fortune cookie writer, beer baron, Kwik-E-Mart clerk, homophobe, and missionary.

jill “Corporate what?!”

dana%20regular “I still see my face on some websites from time to time.”

dana%20regular “Anyways, aside from you, Gil, my sis, Iris and Lexi…hm…”

dana%20regular “I guess there’re a lot of people that don’t want to see me in harm’s way.”

dana%20regular “…mostly because they’re the ones that want to hurt me.”

dana%20regular “What about you?”

jill “I guess I have acquaintances here and there.”

jill “Back at home and college, I went out a lot.”

jill “But it felt more like going out was the pleasure, rather than the people involved.”

jill “Aside from you and Gil, my closest friend since moving here is Alma…oh, and Dorothy.”

jill “I mean, sure. There’s always Fore, but that cat’s a hermit that refuses to go out.”

jill “And you know…he’s a cat.”

dana%20regular “Hey, a cat’s fine too, you know?”

jill “Hey Boss…what will you do when the bar closes?”

dana%20regular “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll take a friend’s offer of working with her.”

dana%20regular “I was also thinking about going back home and helping with things there.”

dana%20regular “Or maybe going travelling for a while.”

jill “I see…”

dana%20regular “Oh, but don’t worry! Bureaucracy’s slow as fuck, so they won’t close the bar for quite a while.”

dana%20regular “Better enjoy being there while you can.”

jill “Yeah, maybe…”

jill “Will you be visiting me in whatever bar I end up working in?”

dana%20regular “I have a bone to pick with the guy who supervises the bar I’m planning to get you transferred to.”

dana%20regular “I go there even though I virtually have no reason to.”

dana%20regular “With you there, I’d have something PLEASANT to look forward to.”

jill “Um…you’re sending me to someone you have problems with?”

dana%20regular “If I have to trust another bar owner, it’s certainly him.”

dana%20regular “He’s actually a pleasant boss from what I’ve seen.”

dana%20regular “The fact that he and I have the tendency to go at each other’s throats is an unrelated matter.”

jill “I’ll trust you on that one then.”

dana%20regular “Don’t worry. Maybe I can get you a bracelet made out of wood pieces from the bar’s counter or something.”

jill “Um…we’ll see.”

dana%20regular “Hey, I’ll tell you what.”

dana%20regular “When the bar closes, let’s both take a vacation. Go on a trip! That’ll clear your mind a bit.”

jill “Yeah, maybe.”

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So, to be honest, I think this LP could stand to have shorter updates with more color commentary. In addition to its chronic inability to handle sensitive topics in a tasteful manner, this game is fucking boring. This is like if Seinfeld and Cheers had a baby and duct-taped it to some broken computers.

(And before you say “funny you should mention Seinfeld”…no it isn’t)

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To be entirely honest I was worried about having color commentary at all, so this is a helpful bit of advice, thank you! Regarding the updates, I’m not so sure how to divide them better? The game has a very, very rigid structure so I have no clue how I would make the updates shorter.

I am, no joke, skipping through every update just looking for the italics that indicate something at least nominally of substance is being said, and I wouldn’t blame any of the people who AREN’T weighing in for doing the same, if indeed I’m not the only person paying even a shred of attention to this LP.

As for length, it seems like you’re just updating entire game-days at a time, split into two posts at the point where Jill takes her break. Even half of one day is kind of a lot of material to try and care about when most of the characters can’t clear the bar of likability set by a creature who requires a trigger warning just for existing. Part of what makes the game so boring is that you literally can’t stop except at certain, very far apart, points. I would honestly just cut updates off at arbitrary points that feel like you’ve hit a decent length and left behind a coherent thought.

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Noted! Once again, thank you for the advice and criticism. Honestly shorter updates with more commentary would probably easier not just for anyone reading this but for me too so idk why I didn’t think about it sooner. You can expect the next update to be a far lighter read.

Now that we’ve finished what might be one of the most boring parts of an already bad game, it’s time to get back into the swing of things…well, after we read the news and buy yet another mandatory thing. Personally, I don’t get that particular mechanic, because the only way you’re gonna be short on money is if you’re really, really, REALLY bad at the game or just want to torture yourself.

Media is still awfully quiet about it.

Augmented Eye talked about it but very briefly.

Maybe someone lost their job due to that one rogue article.

It was from Kim, she’s always trying to write serious shit but I think AE got tired of her.

Fucking shame.

So all we’ll get is clickbait from now on.

Gonna get worse at the very least.

White Knights say there’s a lot of people inside the building, at least three people already dead.

How is someone there shooting people?

Looks like it was the security from the building but I’ve got no details yet. Sounds weird as fuck.

Come on insider anon, you gotta give us more.

Doing my best here!

Thanks based anon.

This thread is closed

EXPLOSION REGISTERED!

And media still quiet about it.

Can confirm there’s an explosion, but it looks like it was just one of them.

So there’s more bombs? not just one?

That’s right.

Do we have any clue on who’s doing this?

I’m hearing from several sources that this is a group, a new one, looking to overthrow the government.

No names have been mentioned, and it looks like it’s not a group, but just one person who set up all this.

That’s pretty ballsy.

And this is just a rumour around here, but Alice_Rabbit might be involved.

How?

A hacker is helping out hostages to escape, and they’re suspecting of Alice.

Huh, someone doing stupid shit on the internet is being actually useful!

This thread is closed

Can confirm the situation has finally reached its end. The attacker was shot dead but a HUGE amount of data was released from servers all around the world. Remember the leaks from Alice? those were nothing compared to this. Proof of corruption, money laundering, espionage; it’s actually pretty unsettling.

Damn…

The file is available from approximately 60000 sources, terabytes that contain all operations from the Glitch City government and White Knight operations. It seems the ultimate goal from the attacker was not to blow up the bank, but lead hostages towards servers inside of the bank, which had the files under several layers of physical security.

That shit sounds whack, how do you even make a plan this complex?

No idea, but that’s what some of the witnesses are telling the police.

OK it looks like I have to leave, but I’ll try to write down all the details for a future post. Gonna need some time though…

godspeed anon, thanks.

This thread is closed

This game’s politics are akin to that of a teenager who just discovered what Anonymous is, except they never, ever went beyond that.

Famous hacker Alice_Rabbit “graced” the popular image board danger/u/ with a new threat, which resulted in the arrest of the site’s admin (known as Ferfer) for a second time.

”We have no details to give, other than that he was arrested as part of an ongoing investigation,” Cyber Crime Unit’s Lisette Blanc told The Augmented Eye during a call. “We are now busy tracking down the message that appeared yesterday.”

When inquired about the arrest, Ferfer would only respond with a calm “Not this sh*t again…”

If underwear you can change with a voice command was something you really wanted in your life, NANOCAMO has you covered!

Already providing consumer versions of their advanced nanomachine fabric, they plan to release a line of underwear that can change its look with a spoken word. No more stains in your white panties! Just change its color to black and you will barely notice.

That won’t change the smell, though. They’re not that advanced.

”We expect an increase in sales next year thanks to this innovative product,” a PR representative told The Augmented Eye. “I’m already using them. Super comfy, if you ask me.”

The blood feud between Giant Yusuke and 66 American Kid will reach its climax this January 4th at the annual GSF dome event. But it’s not the only match of the night!

Other interesting bouts feature great workers such as The Great DK and Arrence. Full card below.

66 American Kid vs Giant Yusuke (GSF Championship)

Red Comet Jr. vs NAGISA (Women’s Championship)

AKITO vs The Great DK

Roy Campbell vs Arrence (GSF Jr. Championship)

Jack Bomb and Blaze vs Hooli and Cara Coltá (Tag Team Championship)

OSUNA vs Siegfried

gil “I have a copy of the key, remembe-…”

gil%20exasperated “Wait, that’s how you greet me after so many days?!”

It’s what you deserve, Gil.

dana%20regular “I never doubted you’d be fine.”

dana%20regular “If anything, I’d have to cut your paycheck for leaving for so many days without notice.”

gil%20exasperated “…”

dana%20regular “See, Jill? “He’ll be there on Monday like nothing ever happened.””

jill “Wait, why does he have a copy of the key and I don’t?”

Because Gil doesn’t take creepshots?

dana%20regular “The need for you having a key never arose.”

That too, I guess.

jill “True…”

dana%20regular “Anyway. Glad you’re fine Gil.”

gil%20exasperated “Thanks. I guess…”

jill “…”

Drinking game: take a shot every time a character says “…” or “I see.”

gil “What? Are you gonna make me wash the bathrooms again?”

jill “Not today.”

jill “Listen, I don’t know who the hell you really are or what’s trying to come back to bite you in the ass.”

jill “But remember there are people that actually care about you. Don’t just leave like you did.”

jill “Especially after all hell broke loose. At least give us a sign that you’re still alive.”

gil “So you were worried?”

jill “Isn’t that normal?”

gil%20slight%20smirk “When it comes to you, I don’t know.”

jill “Shut up.”

dana%20regular “She’s right, though. You shouldn’t make ladies worry so much.”

Eternal life advice right there.

dana%20regular “Check if the cats didn’t move the internet antenna, would you?”

dana%20regular “Because it’s yours?”

jill “But I told you you could keep it.”

dana%20blushing “Sorry, I…couldn’t find it in myself to take it.”

jill “Why?”

dana%20regular “Partly because I didn’t feel right taking it.”

dana%20regular “But mostly because I thought you’d totally look cute with it.”

jill “I-I see…”

Take a shot.

dana%20regular “Don’t think I’m rejecting a gift of yours, it’s just…”

dana%20regular “Preserving cuteness is one of my principles.”

Along with suplexing people, I assume.

jill “R-Right…”

dana%20regular “Are you still worried about the whole bar closure thing?”

jill “Of course I am.”

jill “Not like I can’t work because of it, but you know…”

dana%20regular “All we can do is enjoy whatever time we have left here as best we can.”

jill “Yeah…”

dana%20regular “So, cheer up! Clients smell sadness and fear, and we don’t want that.”

Clients: the deadliest predator in the animal kingdom.

jill “Okay.”

jill “Not really, no.”

jill “Anyways, let’s start the day.”

jill “Time to mix drinks and change lives.”

jill “Oh yeah, Gil?”

gil “Hm?”

jill “Glad to see you’re fine. I mean it.”

jill “May I have your name?”

brian “Tell her it’s Brian.”

Meet the most unremarkable character in the entire game. I legit don’t know why he exists.

jill “Just a sec.”

jill “BOSS!! SOME BRIAN GUY IS LOOKING FOR YOU!!”

dana%20regular “TELL HIM I’LL BE THERE IN A BIT!!”

jill “She’ll…um…you heard her.”

brian “It’s alright. I’ll wait.”

jill “It’s weird for someone to come asking for her though.”

brian “It’s not so weird when you’re BTC’s Regional Manager in these parts.”

jill “Yeah, I guess that’s…”

jill “…”

Yet another shot.

jill “…um.”

jill “I guess I didn’t give you the best first impression.”

brian “Haha! Don’t worry, I know who I’m dealing with.”

brian “I’m not a fan of people treating me too nicely because of my position anyways.”

brian “Handle me like I’m just another client.”

jill “A-Alright. I can do that.”

jill “What can I get you, Mr. Brian?”

brian “Let’s go with the basics. A Sugar Rush, please.”

jill “Coming right up.”

brian “Yeah. this one’s nice.”

jill “Back in training, they made a big deal out of Sugar Rushes. Why?”

brian “They’re like the Fried Eggs of mixing drinks.”

Brian must be working as a games journalist on the side with a simile like that.

brian “They’re the most basic thing, but people can still mess them up.”

brian “Sugar Rushes are simple enough that you only need to follow instructions.”

brian “If you can’t even do that, your future as a bartender is not bright.”

jill “Huh…they never told me that.”

brian “You’re Jill, right?”

jill “Yup, that’s me.”

brian “Dana has talked quite a bit about you.”

Mostly about the whole stalking thing, I’d assume.

jill “Really?”

brian “And I guess you must have a few questions for me, am I right?”

jill “…”

I really should make a counter, huh.

brian “Mostly concerning the closure warning Valhalla got.”

jill “Can you disclose any information?”

brian “I shouldn’t, but you have the right to know.”

jill “Thanks.”

brian “Don’t mention it. Now where to start…”

brian “You saw the news on the information leaked during the Apollo Trust Bank incident, right?”

Does “reading about it on an image board” count?

jill “About the White Knights having lots of members from criminal organizations in their ranks?”

brian “Turns out the White Knights weren’t the only ones with shady people.”

brian “Some of those same folks have been trying to elude legal problems using BTC-certified bars.”

brian “The BTC bars have their own protocols, meaning the White Knights can’t dig too deeply…”

brian “…at least, not without going through a ton of paperwork first, giving the criminals time to cover their tracks.”

brian “Although it takes a bit of time to set up, it has apparently proven an effective method for money laundering.”

To be fair, most eating establishments that double as fronts for criminal activities tend to be really, really good.

jill “Where does Valhalla come in?”

brian “”Young” bars are the ones under the radar right now, and the modest-to-low income ones are the primary suspects.”

brian “It’s not just Valhalla. Any small bar with small income is being investigated heavily right now.”

jill “So the closure notice is due to low sales…”

brian “Among the reasons a bar can get axed, low sales is the rarest one.”

brian “If low sales were a problem, lots of bars would close every year.”

jill “…”

jill “”You’ll find out soon enough” huh…”

brian “Sorry?”

jill “Oh, nothing. Don’t mind me.”

jill “Seems your guess was spot-on, Gil.”

gil “Hm?”

brian “If it helps, I’m doing my best to appeal in your place.”

jill “Really? Why?”

brian “Most of Glitch City’s bars are a pain in the ass. They constantly give reports of chemical damage or shady drinks.”

brian “This is one of the few places from which I almost never receive complaints.”

I shudder to think what the clientele of the other bars must be like.

brian “The closest thing to a recent complaint was that whole Farmers Fabrics affair from a little while ago.”

jill “So much saliva…”

brian “I wouldn’t get my hopes up though.”

brian “Especially since the BTC will try to save face by axing as many suspects as possible.”

jill “Knowing you’re making an effort is enough. Thanks.”

jill “Can I get you anything else?”

brian “Now that I remember, the recipe book has a drink created here, right?”

jill “Oh yeah, the Suplex.”

brian “Get me one of those, please.”

jill “Sure.”

brian “The registry form says this was an accident while making a Piledriver.”

jill “You can ask the creator of the drink just over there.”

brian “Ah, so you’re Robert.”

gil “Yes! That’s my name. I’m Robert, the one and only.”

jill “…”

Ellipses counter: 6

brian “Jill called you “Gil” though.”

jill “Uh…it’s Argentinian slang.”

jill “R-Robert here is from Argentina, so we call him Gil.”

brian “Huh…I see.”

”I see” counter: 2

jill “…”

gil “…”

The Ellipses counter is broken.

dana%20regular “Sorry Brian, I was sorting some stuff at the office. Please come in.”

brian “I’ll be right there.”

brian “Any other questions, Jill?”

jill “Not really, no.”

jill “Although…”

brian “Yeah?”

jill “If you were to evaluate my performance right now, how would you rate me?”

brian “Clean and timely delivery of the correct orders. A top-notch bartender.”

jill “Thanks.”

gil “I’m surprised you haven’t met him before.”

jill “I received my training in another city. The regional supervisor there was some girl with a red mohawk.”

gil “Ah, I see.”

jill (“I wonder what Boss will talk to Brian about…”)

stella “Um…Jill, was it?”

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill “Are you okay?”

stella%20annoyed “Yeah…um…just call me Stella. And get me a big Beer, please.”

jill “Huh… Sure, on it.”

jill “A-Are you sure you’re fine?”

stella%20annoyed “…um.”

stella “You know Sei, right?”

jill “Of course, what’s up with her?”

stella “She was at the Apollo Trust Bank during that whole affair and…”

jill “Oh.”

jill (“Right…that.”)

jill “So she…?”

stella%20annoyed “She didn’t show up on the list of the massive body count in the aftermath, so…”

stella%20annoyed “I was hoping that maybe you’ve seen her.”

jill “As much as I’d love to say that I had…”

jill “…”

stella%20annoyed “Yeah, I figured as much.”

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill “…”

jill (“Man, the air is suddenly a lot heavier.”)

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill (“I mean, I could tell her that everything will be alright, but that would sound a bit…condescending.”)

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill (“sigh What does one do in this kind of situation?”)

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill (“Maybe a joke? Nah, that’d be tasteless.”)

Plenty of tasteless jokes have been made already.

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill (“Okay, just…try and say anything. At the very least, you’ll break the tension.”)

jill (“Maybe distracting her will be enough?”)

jill (“I don’t think clearly when under this kind of pressure, do I?”)

I don’t think you think clearly under regular circumstances, Jill.

jill “Uh…there was a private eye here the other day.”

stella%20shocked “EYE?!”

stella%20annoyed “…sorry, I’m a bit on edge.”

stella “A private detective, I take it?”

jill “Yeah. Maybe you’ll want his services?”

stella “What’s his name?”

jill “I believe it was Art…Van, no. Von Delay.”

I still don’t know why George Costanza’s alter ego is a character in this game.

stella “Oh, that Art guy. Yeah, I actually hired him yesterday to look for Sei.”

jill “So you still have hope.”

stella “I’m somewhere between Bargaining and Depression right now. And I’m afraid to let go of Bargaining.”

jill “I see.”

jill “Is he any good?”

stella “He doesn’t look like it, but he’s quite skilled at gathering intel.”

stella “I believe he’ll give me answers about Sei…whatever they might be.”

stella “…”

jill “…”

VA-11 HALL-A: The JRPG.

jill “*sigh Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand so I could solve all my problems with a swing, you know?”

stella%20annoyed “Sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable.”

No one should have to say that in a universe where Dorothy exists.

jill “Oh, sorry. No, it’s not about feeling uncomfortable.”

jill “It’s just…weird. I usually try to say something to my clients when I see them down.”

jill “And right now, I can’t find any words that don’t sound hypocritical, useless, or tasteless.”

But the writers are gonna make you say them anyways, aren’t they?

stella%20annoyed “I’m glad to know you have that much common sense, at least.”

jill “All I can do is get you drinks. Can I get you anything else?”

stella “Something sweet. That’ll help me calm down a bit.”

jill “Gladly.”

Gameplay tip: when given the choice of a wide change of drinks, always go for the most expensive one and embrace the soulless capitalist inside you.

stella “Thanks.”

jill “Seems you really like Sei.”

Almost like you two are really, really gay.

stella%20annoyed “I don’t have brothers or sisters, and my social interactions are usually strictly business.”

stella%20annoyed “So Sei’s more than a friend to me, she’s…she’s…”

Your girlfriend?

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill “Sorry, I brought that topic up at a bad time.”

stellaahem Don’t worry about it.”

stella “As I was saying, she’s more than a friend. She’s my emotional support, she’s someone I can trust wholeheartedly.”

Sounds like the prime platonic gal pal to me.

stella “I’d say she’s like my sister, but siblings usually lack that level of trust.”

stella “I have to deal with high-class pricks of every race and upbringing on a daily basis.”

stella “They use a “business mask” to hide anything they don’t want others to know and I do the same.”

stella “But with Sei I can be myself, I can do whatever I want and vent all my frustrations.”

stella%20annoyed “She’s always been there for me, and now she might need me…”

Oh, just kiss her already and get it over with.

stella%20sad “But here I am, sitting in a bar, making other people do that job because I’m a useless pile of flesh!”

stella%20sad “…”

stella%20annoyed “…sorry about the outburst.”

jill “I’m actually kind of jealous of the level of self-control you’re using here.”

jill “I mean, I’d be a mess in that situation.”

Smells like foreshadowing to me.

jill “Still, would you like some fresh air? I’m gonna take my break and you could use some.”

jill “Well…for a given value of “fresh”.”

stella “I’m fine, thanks.”

jill “Okay then.”

jill “Gil, please service Miss Stella while I take my break.”

That wording makes me…uncomfortable.

gil “Sure, leave it to me.”

Ellipses counter: 20

“I see” counter: 4

1 Like

jill “I’m ba-…eh?”

art “What would a kid like you know about that, eh?”

stella“I’m just giving you the facts as they are.”

jill “What happened while I was gone?”

gil “Detective guy comes in, Cat Boomer girl greets him. They start talking…”

gil%20exasperated “Everything was okay until the girl mentioned Zaibatsu Corp offhand.”

gil%20exasperated “After that, the guy got riled up and started badmouthing it.”

gil “Oddly enough, he was the only one. She just carried on like it was just a normal conversation.”

Ding ding ding, let’s give a warm welcome to the “I see” counter!

stella“When you get down to it, it has enhanced the quality of life here.”

art “Yeah, if by enhanced, you mean getting yanked around by a shiny new chain around our necks.”

art “Can’t you see that those big companies don’t care about us?”

I’d say it’s a bit more insidious than “not caring”, Art.

art “Why do you think that Glitch City is mockingly called “the guinea pig of the world”?

art “We’re just one big test group for them to use however they want!”

Ah, a libertarian paradise.

art “But then again, I don’t expect a kid to understand how hard it was, let alone a rich kid.”

stella%20annoyed “True, I don’t know. And true, I have a privilege that clouds my judgement.”

That’s putting it lightly.

stella“But can you deny that the meddling of Zaibatsu Corp has brought quite a few benefits?”

art “Like what?”

Looser labor laws, union crackdowns, increased child mortality…

stella“The AI Integration Program they started is making huge advances in the AI department.”

stella“Every day, more and more countries are seeing the benefits of recognizing AIs as citizens.”

art “Yes, but we also hold the AI Reformation Program.”

art “Meaning that we’re also the world’s Lilim prison.”

I assume that’s why we’re stuck with Dorothy?

art “AI went rogue? Transfer it to a delivery drone or ship it to Glitch City.”

art “That murderer is now delivering your pizza.”

Yum.

stella“Fair point. Although that program HAS proven to have reformed many AIs.”

Rehabilitation tends to work better than straight-up punishment, after all.

stella“They don’t brag about their 88% success rate for nothing.”

jill “Um…”

stella“The city also has a stronger economy?”

The…city that’s also in the midst of an economic crisis? Did the writers seriously get that lazy?

stella“Zaibatsu Corp’s success has made more and more companies bring their products here.”

art “And the gap between classes continues to grow.”

That’s what tends to happen when the bourgeoisie is the ruling class, buddy.

art “More companies just mean more people who will plant their feet on your face.”

stella“But it also means more products are being brought to the lower classes.”

stella“Stores have 20% more brand variety compared to last year.”

But you still won’t be able to afford any of them!

jill “Uh…”

stella“Zaibatsu Corp’s main Medical Research branch has also made lots of discoveries.”

stella“More and more illnesses, previously thought incurable, are being addressed every day.”

I’ll just use this point to inform the readers that Cuba, a socialist country, is one of the leading countries when it comes to healthcare and medicine.

art “It’s amazing, for those who can afford them.”

art “Meanwhile, down here we’re experiencing medicine shortages almost every month.”

stella%20annoyed “You have a point there.”

stella“Oh, but there are also more jobs. All of the companies coming down here need personnel.”

stella“So the unemployment rate has gone down by almost 40% this year.”

Once again, I thought that Glitch City was in the midst of an economic crisis?

art “More jobs? Shut up.”

stella“Am I wrong?”

art “Well, that’s…”

art “…”

art “Hey you! Don’t just sit there. Give me a Zen Star!”

jill “Sure.”

art “God, this is awful.”

stella“It’s your order, though.”

This has been my internal monologue whilst making this LP.

art “I seriously hope you don’t actually believe everything you just said.”

stella“Of course I do, why else would I say it?”

stella%20annoyed “You do bring up something I always fail to remember. All the benefits we’ve gained over time are limited to a few.”

stella%20annoyed “I can talk about advances all I want, but in the end, they’re still a luxury belonging only to a few.”

stella%20annoyed “And even those that can be accessed by everyone are more like an improvement in the bigger picture.”

stella“That doesn’t take away the fact that there have been positive changes.”

Or the fact that those changes could be greater under a just economic system?

stella“Credit where credit’s due, don’t you think?”

jill “That’s… a pretty mature answer.”

Y’know, game, you don’t have to emphasize how Smart you are.

stella“Discussions are a way for two parties to understand each other.”

stella“The only people afraid of discussion are the ones whose points are too fragile to defend against someone.”

Spoken like a debate club champion.

art%20annoyed “Yeah, mature. Whatever.”

stella“I’m gonna take the chance to ask you about that job I gave you yesterday.”

art “I haven’t been able to find much, but I can at least tell you that she wasn’t at the bank when it opened up.”

stella“What does that mean?”

art “Either she left before the whole ordeal started…”

art “…or she managed to escape at some point before the whole thing ended.”

art “All the corpses are accounted for. They only found one totally disfigured, but witnesses identified it.”

art “It wasn’t your friend, that much is for sure.”

stella%20annoyed “…I see.”

jill “Did you call him here?”

stella%20annoyed “No, he just so happened to come here today.”

Fun lore fact: Glitch City has a population of like, 20.

art “The weird part is that the girl did enter the bank. It’s like she…vanished or something.”

stella“I see. Thanks, keep it up.”

jill “Your face brightened a bit.”

stella“Hope is the last thing you lose, I guess.”

stella“If he’s telling the truth, Sei might have found a way out.”

stella“She’s a resourceful girl. She surely did something.”

stella“I think I’ll have another drink. Do you want anything?”

art “Me? Um…”

art “Just get me whatever you order.”

stella“Two Bad Touches, please.”

jillpfft On it.”

stella“I remember this one party I went to. The guy that came up with the name of this drink showed up.”

stella“After people found that one out, they lined up to slap him for whatever reason.”

People need to show some respect to the Bloodhound Gang, damn.

stella“They didn’t seem offended to me though.”

art “Imagine a guy shows up and tells you “I made a classy Bad Touch”, wouldn’t you line up to slap him?”

It was a good song, okay.

stella“Um…are you okay, Jill?”

jill “I’m…f-f-fahahahahahaine…”

Jill agrees with me.

jill “Now that I think of it, did you find that girl you were looking for a week ago, Mr. Von Delay?”

art “Turns out she was at the Apollo Trust Bank all this time. No wonder I couldn’t get in touch with her.”

Jeez, that bank is quite the popular place it seems.

stella“Girl?”

art “Someone paid me to look for Crimson Rose and she happened to be at the…”

art “Um…”

stella“What?”

art%20annoyed “I’m trying to avoid mentioning that a dangerous assassin got stuck in the same bank as the girl you’re looking for.”

stella“Oh, don’t worry.”

stella“Besides, the last thing I’m worried about with Sei is people.”

jill “Why’s that?”

stella“Her attitude is usually so laid back and gentle that she has no problem getting people on her side.”

So she’s a shonen protagonist?

stella“And on the off-chance that she has to defend herself…well…”

stella“I once saw her take care of a warbot gone haywire by herself.”

stella“She did need medical care afterwards, but she recovered in no time AND managed to take care of the ‘bot.”

jill “Is she really that good?”

The problem with badass characters in a game like this is that you can only tell us why the character is badass, but you can’t really show it. See also: Dana Zane.

stella“She’s not only really physically fit, she’s also really good with Krav Maga and…”

Pfft, Krav Maga. What a joke.

stella%20shocked “…”

jill “Something wrong?”

stella“No, nothing. I just realized I forgot about all that.”

stella“Sei’s not invincible, but she knows how to take care of herself.”

stella“And like I said, she’s resourceful. She surely found a way out.”

stella%20annoyedsigh I just hope she’s well wherever the hell she is.”

stella%20annoyed “…she owes me an ice cream.”

As previously mentioned, those two are really, really gay.

stella“You want another drink, Mr. Von Delay? It’s on me.”

art “Are you sure?”

stella“Yeah, order away.”

art “Okay then. I’ll have a Piano Man.”

jill “And you, Ms. Stella?”

stella“I’m fine. Get his order.”

art “So this is what drinking something classy without worrying about the price feels like.”

Welcome to the opulent lifestyle of the rich.

art “Alright, I should get going. My contact will arrive at the rendezvous point soon.”

art “I’ll let you know if I find out anything else, Ms. Hoshii.”

stella“Please do.”

jill “You’ve been generous today.”

stella%20smiling “He made my night with his discoveries on Sei’s situation.”

stella%20smiling “I’m not totally over it, but at least I got distracted for a bit.”

art “Well, that’s it for me. Good night, Miss Hoshii.”

stella“Thanks again.”

jill “Please come again.”

jill “Why would I? It’s not like you’re asleep.”

stella%20smiling “Thanks. This place is…soothing.”

What kind of games do you reckon they have at Valhalla?

brian “Alright then. That would be all, Dana.”

brian “Quite a mess, the situation with…um…Robert.”

brian “Right, right…”

brian “Oh! If it isn’t Miss Hoshii herself.”

My lore fact about Glitch City has been confirmed.

stella“Ah, Brian. Fancy meeting you here.”

brian “I didn’t expect to see you here of all places.”

brian “Are you busy? Mind catching up for a bit?”

stella“Sure, no problem.”

stella“Jill, we’ll be sitting over here.”

jill “Let me know if you need anything.”

stella“Will do.”

jill “…”

jill “Um…”

cass “This holophone is an old model, so hanging up is a bit laggy.”

Hey now, it has a download speed of at least 1200 baud.

cass “You can call me Cass by the way.”

jill “I-I’m Jill.”

jill “S-Say…you guys give a lot of liberties to my boss.”

jill “I mean, she gets away with too much stuff.”

I assume it’s because she could suplex them whenever she feels like it.

jill (“It finally hung up.”)

jill “Phew, it’s been quite the day.”

jill “At least the streets are calm today.”

virgilio “I have…wheeze arrived yet again at the cough oh god…at the majestic hall of heroes.”

jill “Calm until now.”

jill “You look winded, Virgilio.”

This is how I feel after climbing like, four flights of stairs, tbh.

virgilio “It’s pronounced Veer-HEE-rio.”

jill “No, I’m pretty sure it’s Virgilio. You said as much the last time you came.”

virgilio%20upset “Pronunciations are a silly thing society imposes on letters.”

virgilio%20upset “They want to be free! They want to be pronounced however they want.”

jill “…”

jill “You look winded, Virgilio.”

virgilio “We are all little toys winded by the cruel hand of fate.”

virgilio “Just stumbling until it decides not to wind us anymore.”

That’s a pretty fatalistic outlook on life.

jill “And yet, you’re the only one in the vicinity hyperventilating.”

virgilio%20peeved “That’s um…I was jogging.”

jill “Dressed like that?”

virgilio%20peeved “I can jog however I want.”

jill “Yes you can.”

jill “What can I get you?”

virgilio “Something fake.”

jill “Of course.”

This is actually his easiest order by far.

virgilio “And this is?”

jill “Totally-not-Beer.”

From the makers of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.

virgilio “Ah, yes, just as fake as I want.”

jill “Say, Virgilio. Where do you work?”

virgilio “I take the noble duties of curator at the Steampunk Museum.”

…what.

jill “Really? What do you do?”

virgilio “I study everything that comes and keep it clean for the people that visit the premises.”

virgilio%20peeved “But lately my duties have been hindered by the museum’s owner.”

jill “Really?”

virgilio%20peeved “Yeah, he told me, “Stop touching the exhibits! You’re gonna break them.” The nerve of some people.”

jill “E-Eh?”

virgilio%20peeved “He still fails to realize that I’M the curator there.”

virgilio%20peeved “WIthout me, all those machines would be rustier than they already are.”

jill “…”

Me too, buddy.

virgilio%20peeved “Even the visitors get that I’m the one responsible for those, why can’t the owner realize that too?!”

jill “…yeeeeeeah.”

jill “I bet he treats you like a janitor or something like that.”

virgilio “Exactly!”

virgilio “Okay then. Time for your next challenge, bartender.”

jill “Challenge, he says…”

virgilio “I want purity.”

jill “…”

While I fall for the trap of assuming that Virgilio here wants a Zen Star, it actually doesn’t matter at all what drink you give him.

jill “It’s a drink. It’s free from any human sin. It can do no harm consciously.”

Drinks confirmed free from Original Sin.

virgilio “Ah, yes…beautiful.”

jillsigh

virgilio “Hm?”

virgilio “Hey you, the guy over there.”

gil “Me?”

virgilio “Yes, you. Have we met before?”

Just what is the deal with Gil?

gil “Can’t remember. Maybe?”

virgilio “Yeah, I think…”

virgilio%20peeved “…”

virgilio%20peeved “…NONONONO. We haven’t met. Ever. At all.”

jill “That’s an interesting reaction.”

A normal reaction to realizing Gil exists.

gil “…”

jill “Be careful out there.”

stella“Thanks…huh?”

stella“Excuse me, have we met somewhere before?”

virgilio “That face…that eye…”

stella%20shocked “What about my eye, punk?!”

virgilio%20peeved “We haven’t met ever at all. Never, ever, ever ever.”

Forever ever, forever ever?

jill “Did you just scare off a client?”

Can I pay you to do that on a daily basis?

stella%20annoyed “Apparently.”

stella%20smiling “Well. I’m off. Thanks for everything.”

gil “Yup, quite a few clients considering the whole situation.”

jill “So you two actually met before?”

gil “Yeah, you could say that.”

dana%20regular “What? What?”

jill “Gil stuff. Don’t mind it.”

jill “What were you talking about to Brian?”

dana%20regular “Well…”

dana%20regular “We were mostly catching up, to be honest.”

dana%20regular “I hadn’t seen him in a while. I offered him a drink when we met last week.”

dana%20regular “I talked a bit about what to do after the bar closes.”

dana%20regular “Oh! And I tried to…uh…explain the situation with…Robert here.”

dana%20regular “He agreed to help me out with that one when the time comes.”

It’s gonna involve an absurd amount of criminal activities, I assume.

jill “Ah.”

gil “Oh…”

dana%20regular “I was also tuning up the details for the new employee.”

jill “New employee?”

dana%20regular “A part-timer, you’ll meet him tomorrow.”

jill “Oh.”

gil “”Him”? So it’s a guy?”

dana%20regular “An adorable guy, if I do say so myself.”

jill “…”

jill (“…I suddenly have deja vu.”)

This will only really make sense if you’ve played the prologue, but I strongly advise against doing so.

dana%20regular “Are you alright, Jill?”

jill “Y-Yeah.”

jill (“It must be nothing.”)

In Valhalla, it is always something.

”I see” counter: 3

”…” counter: 9

1 Like

I think I’ll get a pair, just to see what kinda skin I can use with them.

They will nickle and dime with the DLC, there’s no way to use the skin you want.

It’s going to get cracked day one.

Maybe, but I don’t think it will be that fast.

Yeah, I think I’ll just wait until it’s modded for custom skins.

I thought the nanomachine fabric was bad for your health?

No that’s just a meme.

My walls are made of that thing and I’m alright.

Are the walls hacked yet?

I’m going to marry Camotan!

We now have underwear that can change its look… Don’t you just love the future?

I would if they weren’t a bunch of assholes with their business practices.

Then don’t buy the underwear.

I won’t

This thread is closed

For the longest time, the term “Christmas Cake” referred to women aged 26 or above, who are regarded as undesirable – just like a Christmas Cake that ceases being useful after December 25th.

But men around Glitch City developed a sweet tooth.

”Who doesn’t like a mature woman?” Todd, 19, told The Augmented Eye. “They have all the necessary experience already and plus, I’m soooo tired of spoiled, immature girls doing stupid sh*t. I say bring on the hot office ladies!”

Jill, 27, is confused.

”Christmas what? Is that like the opposite of Beefcake?” After discovering the real meaning, she launched into an hour-long rant. “I’ll let you know pencil skirts are the best!”

Don’t you just love casual misogyny?

Sukeban Soft just unveiled a new line of personal computers for the anime enthusiast market. This is after several attempts at appealing to a broader audience with the Uranus game console.

Launch games have been announced as well. They include popular franchises like Monster Girl RPG, Monster Girlfriend, and Monster Companion.

”We’re going for the weeb audience,” said Kiririn51, a Sukeban Soft janitor.

”What’s dignity anymore?”

Sukeban Soft plans to launch the AM TOWNSHIPS sometime next year.

Just because you’re self-aware about being gross doesn’t mean you’ve stopped being gross, guys.

Weapon enthusiasts are freaking out right now over a firmware update that MAKISE Heavy Industries is releasing for its EDKV-186 line of assault rifles.

Full compatibility with NANOCAMO has been announced, allowing civilian models of this weapon the use of nano camouflage, and the option to customize their look for free with the help of the NANOCAMO app.

”We’ve been using NANOCAMO in the battlefield for a year now,” MAKISE’s chairperson told The Augmented Eye during a phone conversation. “And thanks to its flexibility, we can now sneak past the enemies using the environment to our favor. Our equipment is basically invisible with NANOCAMO.”

The NANOCAMO update will be released this month.

Every now and then, I wonder if I’ll ever meet my significant other…all the stimulae from being born just three years ago, and directly being thrown in this wonderful disaster that is the idol industry, makes me think of all the things I’m missing. Accidental love, lost love, or even the gentle touch of another person, I feel like I’m in this bubble that won’t let me catch all possible feelings, and my senses get tired of the same environment.

I want to meet new people, places! Because even though I have a large bank of knowledge, I actually never experimented with what most consider normal.

But you already know that from my songs :slight_smile:

gil “And that cage?”

jill “I…um…brought my cat.”

gil “Your cat?”

dana%20regular “DID I HEAR YASUNORI KATO WAS IN THE BAR?!”

Wikipedia tells me that Yasunori Kato is a fictional character created by Hiroshi Aramata, and the protagonist of Teito Monogatari, so…yeah? Talk about a deep cut.

dana%20peeved “Wait…there are no evil Onmyouji here.”

jill “Boss…what the fuck?”

dana%20peeved “Didn’t you say you brought Kato to the bar?”

jill “My cat. CAT!”

dana%20regular “Well, that’s even better! Hey Fore!”

fore “…”

dana%20regular “So cute.”

dana%20regular “Why did you bring him?”

jill “I heard some apartments in my building were being raided.”

jill ”Fore’s my weed carrier, you see.”

jill “I don’t have anything suspicious, but you never know. So I’d rather have him here, at least today.”

dana%20regular “Ah well, I’d say something about the health regulations, but we already had a pack of Corgis here.”

dana%20regular “Do you want me to take care of him in my office? Please?”

jill “Sure…but he’s a bit shy, so…”

jill “And I think she didn’t hear me.”

gil ”I haven’t slept in 10 years, Jill.”

gil “I live close by.”

jill “Really?”

gil “Yup, Chief got me a small apartment nearby. Something about the BTC housing program.”

Is BTC an intentional reference to bitcoin or am I just reading too much into things?

jill “Oh yeah, I got mine through that too…”

jill “Time to mix drinks and change lives.”

jill “…”

rad%20shiba “Um…lady, did you hear me?”

jill “A dog. ANOTHER dog.”

rad%20shiba “Hey! I’m not just another dog, I came here as a part-timer!”

jill “So you’re the part-timer.”

rad%20shiba “Yeah!”

jill “…”

jill “Boss! I’m taking my break!”

dana%20regular “It’s too early!”

jill “Shit.”

jillsigh The part-timer is here!”

dana%20regular “Huh, he came early.”

Dogs are cute, Jill.

dana%20regular “Because look at him! He has a Hawaiian shirt! And sunglasses!”

See? Dana here knows what’s up.

dana%20peeved “And he’s a Shiba, not a Corgi. I don’t know what you’re complaining about.”

jill (“They all look the same to me.”)

Almost like the devs didn’t have time to make two separate sprites so they just used the same one for Shibas and Corgis.

dana%20peeved “Granted, Shibas could be seen as the Japanese counterpart to Corgis.”

dana%20peeved “They’re both funny-looking and dogs used by the royalty.”

dana%20regular “Anyways. Starting today, this dog will help around here.”

rad%20shiba “My name is…”

Urge to make a bad, bad reference suppressed.

dana%20regular “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS.”

The part of Dana Zane is portrayed by Dwayne Johnson.

jill “…Boss, please don’t shout.”

jill ”Don’t reference 70 year old television either.”

dana%20blushing “Sorry.”

dana%20regular “Just call him Rad Shiba.”

jill “Why Rad Shiba?”

dana%20peeved “What part of Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses don’t you get? He’s the raddest thing here!”

rad%20shiba “Thanks!”

dana%20regular “Anyways, he will mostly help getting orders, bringing clients in and cleaning, but he ought to know how things work.”

gil “Cleaning? That’d be a change of pace.”

How many people have done this thing with Jill so far? Like, two?

jill “Um…right.”

rad%20shiba “I’ll have a Grizzly Temple.”

jill “…”

rad%20shiba “Are you okay?”

jill “Yeah, just a couple of post-traumatic flashbacks.”

jill “Coming right up.”

rad%20shiba “Wow! This is awful!”

rad%20shiba “People actually pay for this shit?”

I could make a meta joke, but I already did that, so I won’t.

jill “Hard to believe, I know.”

jill “So…what brings a dog like you to taking a part-time job here?”

rad%20shiba “I’m here to help the funding of my organization.”

jill “Are you with the Seifar Toy Company?”

rad%20shiba “What? No! Don’t lump me in with those Herding Supremacists.”

Because what this game needed was racist Corgis.

rad%20shiba “I have a more noble and benign organization. I belong to CIRA.”

jill “CIRA?”

rad%20shiba “Canine Independent Rescue Association.”

rad%20shiba “We give a place where dogs can be dogs and save them from themselves.”

Rescuing dogs from the horrors of modernity.

rad%20shiba “CIRA is what I love, but, damn is it expensive sometimes.”

rad%20shiba “We decided to take part-time jobs to help fund anything it needs.”

rad%20shiba “We want to help CIRA be the best it can be.”

rad%20shiba ”Mostly that just means buying chew toys.”

jill “What do you do at CIRA?”

rad%20shiba “Pay treatment for hurt dogs, give food to the hungry ones, play with the bored ones…”

rad%20shiba “We’re there for everyone.”

jill “Huh…that actually sounds nice.”

rad%20shiba “Say, do you have a menu?”

Is it called a menu if it only has drinks? Genuine question.

jill “Something like that, yeah. Here.”

rad%20shiba “Now, let’s see…”

rad%20shiba “Any recommendations?”

jill “Avoid the part with “Promo” drinks.”

rad%20shiba “Oh, the Grizzly Temple is one of those.”

rad%20shiba “Fluffy Dream? I like the sound of this one.”

jill “Coming right up.”

rad%20shiba “Well, this one’s nice.”

jill “So, why did you pick a bar?”

rad%20shiba “It seemed fun.”

rad%20shiba “I didn’t need that many weird skills to be part of this so it was my best bet.”

rad%20shiba “Besides, it’s close to home, so I can get here by walking.”

rad%20shiba “And I do love me some walks. I could walk all day!”

jill “Weird skills?”

rad%20shiba “Yeah, stuff like “food handler’s certificate”, “previous work experience”, or “thumbs”.”

jill “…”

rad%20shiba “Why did you pick a bar?”

jill ”Cheap booze.”

jill “Um… On a whim too, I guess.”

jill “I wanted a place where I could see people come and go all the time.”

jill “And bartending sounded a bit more glamorous than just being a store clerk.”

I know a convenience store where the local high school kids just started stealing like, cabbages and shit. Ended up having to install cameras.

rad%20shiba “Oh yeah. About the way you mix stuff.”

jill “Yeah?”

rad%20shiba “Is it-…hey…”

rad%20shiba “It’s a cat! A cat!”

jill “Hey Fore, weren’t you in Boss’ office?”

rad%20shiba “Hello cat! Wanna play? Let’s play!”

fore “…”

jill “Didn’t dogs hate cats or something?”

rad%20shiba “We don’t hate them - unless they’re intruders.”

jill “Huh…”

rad%20shiba “You said his name was Fore? Hello Fore! Let’s play!”

Pretty sure this is the second foreplay joke they’ve made?

fore “…”

jill “No playing allowed, you’ll make a mess. Fore, go back to Boss’ office.”

fore “Meow.”

rad%20shiba “That’s one obedient cat.”

Meanwhile, my cat is pure chaotic evil.

jill “My pride.”

jill “You want something else?”

gil “Eh?”

jill “Alright.”

jill sigh (“I shouldn’t get riled up so easily by dogs, but…I’m just tired, I guess.”)

sei “Hello Jill!”

jill “Eh?! T-That voice…”

jill “W-What happened to you?!”

new%20sei%20smiling “Nice seeing you too!”

new%20sei “Well, I fell from a really tall place to a really rough spot.”

That’s…one way to put it.

jill “Are you okay? Do you need an ambulance or something?”

new%20sei “I just got out of one, don’t worry.”

jill “How did you manage to slip by the mobs lynching White Knights?”

new%20sei%20smiling ”I killed them all!”

new%20sei “It was a bit rough. Luckily these bandages helped me conceal my identity! Heheh…”

You wouldn’t believe how many cerulean-haired girls there are in Glitch City.

jill “Why come straight here?”

new%20sei ”To get wasted.”

new%20sei “I…”

new%20sei “The ambulance where I got treatment couldn’t stray too far away from the hospital.”

new%20sei%20smiling “They’re nice people, I’ve talked to them a lot while on rescue duties.”

new%20sei%20smiling “I was nearby and yours was the closest friendly face I could find.”

new%20sei%20smiling “I needed to regain my composure before doing anything else, so…here I am.”

new%20sei%20blushing “Um…if you’re scared because they might come for me I can leave, you know?”

jill “The security systems of the bar are top-notch, and my boss is also the bouncer of sorts here.”

The security systems are just Dana.

jill “I’d say you’re actually safer here. So I’m not worried about me.”

jill “Instead I’m…worried about you.”

I’m pretty sure that even in this state she could suplex a train.

jill “First I hear you were at the bank, then I find out you “disappeared”.”

jill “And now you show up with all those bandages.”

jill “Are you fine? What happened at that bank exactly?”

jill “Did you talk with Stella? She was worried sick about you!”

new%20sei%20in%20pain “Slow… Slow down a bit… The medications make me feel everything more intensely, almost like a hangover.”
jill “S-Sorry.”

Turns out giant blocks of text are bad for the brain.

new%20sei “It’s nice to know someone like a bartender was worried about me though. Thanks.”

Pretty sure bartenders have feelings just like everyone else, Sei.

new%20sei “Everyone I know has been ignoring me, so I was feeling lonely.”

jill “Why would they?”

new%20sei “Well, you’ve seen the lynches they give to any White Knight they find.”

The Glitch City opposition are a very…unique bunch.

new%20sei “By ignoring me, they’re actually saving me from getting kicked to death.”

new%20sei “My good deeds finally paid off, I guess…heheh…”

jill “Can I get you anything?”

new%20sei ”Get me ten Jägerbombs.”

new%20sei “Um…something sweet without alcohol.”

new%20sei “Thank god these pants still had my wallet in them.”

They started making womens’ pants with pockets? Wild.

jill “Oh no, I couldn’t take your money right now. It’s on the-…”

new%20sei “Jill, please. I wanna pay for my drinks.”

jill “I take it I won’t be able to change your mind.”

new%20sei “Nope. I mean yes. I mean… You won’t be able to change my mind.”

jill “…sweet and no alcohol, right? Coming right up.”

new%20sei%20smiling “Yay! This’ll help me calm down a bit.”

jill “So, what happened to you? Where did you fall from?”

…a building?

new%20sei “I was escaping the place near the end of the whole thing, and I had to make a leap of faith.”

new%20sei “I’ve jumped from higher places, but I landed badly here.”

new%20sei “Most of my injuries are actually from some debris that fell on me.”

new%20sei “Oh, but my broken arm is actually from the fall.”

jill “How?”

new%20sei “I rolled to mitigate the fall, but I made a bad move and broke it.”

new%20sei%20smiling “Good thing I drink lots of milk!”

jill “…”

Same, Jill, same.

new%20sei “I was under rubble for quite a bit, but luckily someone found me.”

jill “”Someone”?”

Jill seems to be asking a lot of dumb questions today, for some reason?

new%20sei “I woke up in the hospital, they told me some guy brought me there.”

new%20sei “I don’t know who he was, but I owe him my life.”

jill “…”

new%20sei “W-What?”

jill “N-Nothing, you just sound um…cheerful.”

jill ”Also that’s the second time a complete stranger saved your life.”

new%20sei%20smiling “I’m alive! Why wouldn’t I be?”

new%20sei%20smiling “After all that happened at the bank, here I am, talking to you. Being able to talk at all.”

I’m pretty sure that Valhalla is actually Purgatory, so I dunno why you’re so happy.

jill “…”

new%20sei%20in%20pain “Don’t think too much about it. I’m fine! I’m totally fi-owowowowowow…”

jill “…”

new%20sei%20blushing “Eh…um…”

new%20sei%20blushing “H-How were things around here? I heard there was a huge commotion when the whole thing happened.”

jill “I had to sleep here in the bar on Saturday, but I guess it could’ve been worse.”

jill ”I mean, I could’ve been stuck on a terrace, forced to make small talk with my boss. Wait…”

new%20sei “Glad to know that.”

jill “Did you contact Stella? She was on the verge of despair yesterday.”

new%20sei%20sad “Eh…um…”

new%20sei%20blushing “H-Hey Jill! I want another drink! A…uh…um…a Bleeding Jane!”

jill “…”

What you actually have to do here is get her a Blue Fairy. The game will occasionally throw curveballs like this, and the correct choice usually relies on remembering a character’s favorite drinks, and other similar things.

new%20sei “Phew…”

new%20sei “Thanks!”

jill “Yeah…”

jill “So, how were things inside the bank?”

Violent, I’d imagine.

new%20sei%20in%20paincough cough Come again?”

jill “What happened inside the bank? How did you manage to get through it?”

new%20sei%20blushing “Um…I was with this nice bunch of people. Well…they were apparently nice at the very least.”

new%20sei “We tried our best to find our way out of the whole thing, cracking through the security, finding safe spots.”

new%20sei ”In the end, it turned out it was just an elaborate Room Escape challenge!”

new%20sei%20sad “But then…”

new%20sei%20sad “Um…”

new%20sei%20sad “…”

jill “Sorry for asking all that, it was obviously over the line.”

new%20sei%20blushing “N-No, don’t worry about it. It’s just the analgesics still numbing me.”

new%20sei “I’ll take my leave now. Thank you for everything, Jill.”

jill “Are you alright?”

Does she seem alright to you?

jill “…”

jillsigh

jill “Eh? Weren’t you leaving?”

new%20sei%20sad “Yeah, I was, but…well…”

new%20sei%20sad “You know how I just said I was fine?”

She was not.

jill “Yeah?”

new%20sei%20sad “I-I’m not.”

new%20sei%20sad “So I wanted to know if you could lend me your ear for a bit.”

jill “Well, I was gonna take my break…”

new%20sei%20blushing “Oh sorry…”

jill “No, what I mean is that I could lend you an ear if you don’t mind going to the back alley for a bit.”

Nothing at all suspicious about back alleys.

new%20sei%20blushing “Y-Yeah, please…”

That’s the end of this segment and somehow…no one has said “I see.” at all. Talk about a shocker!

The truest horror of this future dystopia is that humans have given dogs the gift of racism.

Also I have no idea what the fuck Dana means that both breeds are used by royalty. If she’s talking about the real-life Queen of England loving corgis, it’s a stretch to say she “uses” them. Corgis are herders, they’re a working class breed. I don’t think Her Extremely Old And Creaky Royal Majesty is going to be running around after sheep anytime soon. I’d pay money to see it though.

1 Like

“Haha, weebs, am I right? Anyway, here’s this character who’s a sex worker android who looks like a child. We didn’t have to include her, but we did.”

Best part is they’re trying to posit this as a healthy outlet for pedophilia as though that’s not a blaringly obvious admission of guilt.

new%20sei “Sorry, I haven’t smoked since high school.”

new%20sei “But don’t mind me though. Smoke ahead.”

jill “So…why me?”

new%20sei ”Because you’re the protagonist of this game.”

new%20sei “You’re the closest friend I have nearby that isn’t avoiding me and…I think I’m about to explode.”

This is just like Ground Zeroes all over again.

jill “Why?”

new%20sei “B-B-Because I’m afraid! I’m terrified! I’m scared!”

new%20sei “My colonel was using me when I made that errand, he saw me as a disposable pawn!”

new%20sei “Then the whole thing got closed at the bank.”

new%20sei “We were stuck there with no food or water for three days!”

new%20sei “I-I saw a man be beaten to death after he found some snack in his pocket…that…that…”

And that’s the day they finally changed the Klondike bar jingle.

new%20sei “I…I…”

jill “…”

new%20sei “When I was in rescue duties I usually dealt with collapsing buildings, fire, that kind of stuff.”

new%20sei “B-But seeing people do that to other people is just…”

new%20sei “I…sniff I…”

jill “Calm down, nobody will hurt you here.”

new%20sei “You sure?”

jill “I’ll make sure of it, just…take deep breaths.”

new%20sei “…”

jill “I can’t even imagine what happened there. And truth be told, I don’t want to imagine it.”

jill “But it’s easy to tell you bottled up everything while you were there.”

new%20sei “Is it obvious?”

jill ”Girl, you are an open book.”

jill “Kinda.”

new%20sei “Well, I had to get outta there. Fear would’ve only gotten in the way.”

new%20sei “And besides, I made a promise to come back to…”

new%20sei “Err…”

jill “Alright, what’s the deal with Stella?”

Subtext that might as well be text.

new%20sei “Nothing, I’m just…”

jill ”In denial?”

jill “Afraid?”

new%20sei “The word loses meaning after using it so much in so little time.”

new%20sei “She should’ve been worried sick, and I couldn’t call her after I came back. I’m afraid of what she will say.”

jill “She will insult you, she looks like that kind of girl.”

jill “But I’m betting all I have that she will be quickly happy that you’re fine and alive.”

new%20sei “Yeah…you’re right.”

jill “Think about it this way: a slap or despair for what’s left of her life.”

new%20sei “I wouldn’t pretend to disappear, I mean…”

jill “Besides, from what you tell me you’re pretty much only coming to your senses today, right?”

new%20sei “Yeah.”

new%20sei “It’s weird how everything change in such a short notice, you know?”

new%20sei “Get flipped turned upside down…”

new%20sei “On Thursday I was a girl doing her duties minding only her own business.”

new%20sei “Now I’m injured and woke up to find out I can’t go back to those duties.”

new%20sei “Part of me is happy, I knew full well White Knights usually did more harm than good.”

new%20sei “On the other hand, I really loved my job. Now I’m stuck with nothing to do.”

jill “Yeah, I know how that is. The life changing on such short notice part, I mean.”

new%20sei “Really?”

jill “I would tell you why I know that, but I think you should go see Stella right now.”

jill ”That, and I need to keep my backstory secret until the convenient moment arrives.”

new%20sei “Yeah, you’re right.”

jill “Speaking of which… Hey Gil!”

gil “What?”

jill “Do me a favor and escort Sei to…wherever she needs to go, please.”

gil “Only if you cover my share of the work.”

jill “Yeah, yeah…”

gil “Okay then. Let’s go Miss.”

new%20sei “R-Right!”

new%20sei “Thank you for hearing me out, Jill!”

jill “Anytime.”

jillwhew Hope everything goes alright.”

jill “Ah, hey Jamie.”

It’s everyone’s favorite Adam Jensen knockoff!

jill “Um… Jamie…”

jamie “Ah Jill. Gillian isn’t here I see.”

jill “Are you alright? You look distracted.”

jamie%20embarrassed “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

jill “If you say so.”

dana%20regular “Jiiiiiiiill! Where do I take Fore if he needs to use the bathroom?”

jill “The cage has a small litter box included!”

Just how big is that cage…or how small is that litter box?

dana%20regular “Oooooh, that’s convenient!”

jamie “Fore?”

jill “Fore’s my cat. Some apartments in my building are being inspected today…”

jill “So I brought him to work in case they enter my place while I’m gone.”

jamie “Ah, I see.”

jill “What can I get you?”

jamie “The usual Gut Punch.”

jill “Coming right up.”

jamie “I thought when someone ordered a Gut Punch, you had to make a joke…”

jamie “…about giving the client a punch to the stomach or something.”

jill “Oh, that? In theory, yeah. Gil’s the only one that pays attention to that though.”

jamie “Really?”

jill “He didn’t receive proper training, he read an old manual my boss had.”

jill “There WAS some sort of stipulation mentioning the need to say puns.”

jill “But it seems like it was some sort of anti-counterfeit measure.”

Like those old Lucasarts games, but for booze? Sounds a bit excessive.

jill “I mean, if they copied such a silly stipulation, they’d be caught in the act.”

jamie “Like when the dictionaries added fake words to spot if someone else just copied all of it?”

Wait, was that an actual thing or is the game making an actual goof here?

jill “Yup.”

jamie “Why not tell him that?”

jill “It’s too amusing, to be honest.”

jill “So, what’s on your mind that’s distracting you so much?”

jamie “Nothing you should think about too much.”

jamie “It’s like those times you just feel uneasy for no good reason.”

jill “You might have actual reasons to feel that way though.”

jill “Come to think of it, “mercenary” is quite the uncommon occupation, wouldn’t you say?”

jamie “I like to see what I do as bounty hunting actually.”

God, Jamie’s probably one of those people that actually think Boba Fett is cool.

jill “How so?”

jamie “The only jobs I don’t take are those where I have to deal with people who just happened to be in the wrong place.”

jamie “There are some people willing to pay to off someone that has done no wrong.”

Huge if true.

jamie “Things like killing someone that owns a house in the way of some building, or a nosy reporter.”

jamie “I’m not better for turning a blind eye to such requests, but I’m not gonna be the one dealing with those.”

jill “The bounty hunter part comes where?”

Getting to wear cool shit, I assume.

jamie “If I’m sent to kill someone that has done something like stealing or killing and I get paid for it…”

jamie “You could see it as bounty hunting.”

jill “Yeah, I guess.”

Technicalities are extremely badass.

jamie%20sideways%20look “It’s just cheap justifications for killing people though. In the end they’re cheap.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “However, I won’t be one to kill for petty reasons like those.”

jamie “But let’s change the subject here. I’ll have something bitter if you don’t mind.”

jill “Huh? Sure.”

As always, when presented with a broad choice, go for the most expensive option.

jamie “Ah yes…”

jill “You just reminded me of my grandpa.”

jill “He used to eat Bronson roots everyday. He said they made him stronger.”

jamie “Bronson roots have more nutrients per gram than most vitamin supplements.”

jamie “Your grandpa knew what he was doing.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “It seems I always manage to make you uncomfortable, Jill. Sorry.”

jill “Ah, no. Don’t worry.”

jill ”All of my friends make me uncomfortable.”

jill “Although I guess it’s mostly because I can’t wrap my mind around the whole “taking a human life” thing.”

jill “Knowing you’ve killed people and are now talking to me here? It’s…weird.”

jill “It reminds me of when I first took sex ed classes.”

jill “I couldn’t wrap my mind around people doing that stuff and living normally.”

jamie “Unlike with sex ed, it’s better that you stay that way, mind you.”

jamie “Taking lives is not something you should get used to.”

jamie “Ah yes, I know a good way to change the subject a bit.”

jamie “Would you like to hear about the most dangerous bounty hunter in the city?”

Ooh, I love stories!

jill “The way you said that was like offering a tale to a bored kid. But yeah, I’d like to hear that one.”

jamie “You see, there was actually a bounty hunter organization in this city not too long ago.”

Now I’m just imagining a union but for bounty hunters.

jamie “Law enforcement would put a price on a dangerous person’s head and pay for the proof of that person’s death.”

jamie “There was a guy called Jet Black James. He got the nickname because he always wore clothes.”

Sounds like a rejected Revengeance villain to me, buuut that’s probably the point.

jamie “The interesting thing was that the black clothes were there to hide blood stains he got from his contracts.”

jamie “His tracking skills were top-notch, his information network was the best.”

jamie “Some even joked he would finish the bounty within half an hour, or he wouldn’t take the reward.”

jamie “…he was too good, in fact.”

jamie “At one point he took all bounties and didn’t take a single reward. He was just that crazy by then.”

jamie “The last bounty that the organization ever posted was on James’ head.”

jamie “The police had him cornered. His last words were “Send it all to my account” before shooting himself.”

jill “Damn…why hasn’t that been made into a movie?”

jill “So…there were no more bounties after that?”

jamie “A registered bounty hunter was charged with many counts of manslaughter using his old targets as proof.”

jamie “If somebody else tried to recreate the organization, the seed of doubt would grow in little to no time.”

jamie “What guarantee is there that such an organization wouldn’t actually be a trap?”

jamie “They could use the registered bounty hunters to take care of the most bothersome criminals…”

jamie “And then dispose of the bounty hunters by pressing charges using their targets as evidence.”

Pretty sure you don’t need to reiterate the point here.

jamie “So…no. Jet Black James made sure that no law enforcement organization is able to set up bounty hunting of any kind.”

jamie “Ever since then, anyone crazy enough to be a bounty hunter works independently.”

jill “Were you part of that organization?”

jamie “I’ve actually had those suspicions I’m telling you about since the day I heard such a thing exists.”

jamie “Glad to know I wasn’t just paranoid.”

jill “I don’t know how well you changed the subject, but that was certainly one interesting story.”

jill “Just to make sure. You’re not a rebuilt Jet Black James or something, right?”

jamie%20embarrassed “The name James is pretty common, Jill.”

jamie “Besides, if I remember correctly, his real name was actually Theodore.”

jill “Oh.”

jamie “That story left my throat a bit dry. Get me a Beer, please.”

jill “Sure.”

jamie “One of mankind’s oldest friends. Cheers.”

jamie “One obvious thing I see is that you don’t take the use of the word “kill” in your stride the way Gillian does.”

jill “I’m not good with violence.”

jamie “That’s good.”

jamie “It’s interesting though. When I compare you two, it’s obvious Gillian has seen quite the share of traumatic stuff.”

Dude could be an immortal demigod for all I know.

jill “That guy’s a handful because of that sometimes.”

jill “Still, he’s one of the most reliable people I’ve ever met.”

jamie “Where is he, by the way?”

jill “I asked him to keep an eye on a girl that came here earlier.”

jill “I feel that if something happened, he could resolve the situation.”

jill “His nose must be itching after we talked so much about him.”

jamie “Yeah, maybe.”

jamie “Well, I’ve got to go.”

jill “Will do.”

jill “Man, today’s been quite heavy.”

jill “Everyone-…”

jill “…wait.”

jill (“If I say it out loud, I feel like I will just tempt fate.”)

jill (“…but let’s try it anyways.”)

jill “Everyone has just been gloomy face after gloomy face…and that dog.”

jill “I sure hope the next client changes that.”

Fuck.

jill “I KNEW IT! Err… I mean…”

jill “Quite the surprise to see you here again, Mr. Ingram.”

ingram “Got out of my job, I needed a drink badly, and I remembered this crackhouse was nearby.”

jill “What can I get you then?”

ingram “I’ll have a Bleeding Jane.”

jill “On it.”

ingram “Tastes just like the pasta sauce my mom used to make.”

ingram “Watered down, artificial, and nasty.”

Is this guy ever happy?

jill “So, where do you work, Mr. Ingram?”

ingram “I don’t have a specific job, but there’s this….well…”network” of engineers in need of assistants.”

ingram “I have no idea what they do there, but I can follow instructions and that’s all they need.”

ingram “Recently I’ve been working with this Sylia girl working on some experimental powered suits.”

_Is this an anime reference? It’s probably an anime reference.”

ingram “My only duty is to give them maintenance once a day.”

jill “What’s that about a “network”?”

ingram “All those nerds know each other and they recommend me.”

ingram “I don’t ask questions and quickly learn whatever they need.”

jill “Huh, sounds nice.”

ingram “It’s pretty monotonous at times though.”

jill ”Buddy, you don’t know the meaning of the word.”

ingram “Why are you giving me that look?”

jill “You’re just more cheerful than the last time you came.”

He is?

ingram “We all have good days and bad days. Today just so happens to be a not-bad day.”

ingram “Besides, with everyone scared shitless in the houses, the streets are clear with no traffic jams.”

That’s…one way to look at it, I guess.

ingram “That’s always a plus.”

jill “I guess.”

ingram “It almost became a bad day though, thanks to some teens on the way here.”

jill “What did they do?”

ingram “It’s not what they did, it’s what they said.”

Grown man brutally owned by children, more news at 11.

ingram “They were talking about how they should just go to Zaibatsu Corp’s HQ and blow it up.”

ingram “I’ve seen one too many kids throwing around that “let’s kill the king” attitude when it comes to Zaibatsu Crap.”

ingram “Even if Zaibatsu Corp’s building suddenly went down, the ones behind it would still be alive.”

ingram “Killing the head honcho just means his or her duties go to the next rimjobber on the totem.”

ingram “Hell, I bet they’re plotting to kill each other anyways.”

ingram “Kids these days see way too many action films where the rebels save the day by killing the “Evil Corporation”.”

I mean…he’s not actually wrong, to be honest. Hollywood movies’ vision of revolution is very much intentionally muddy, vague and individualistic.

jill “Don’t let it get to you.”

ingram “I don’t, I just hate teengars.”

Okay Shadow the Edgehog.

jill “It’s interesting though. A big corporation in control is somehow more dangerous than a regular government.”

Have you met an anarcho-capitalist?

ingram “I wouldn’t know. I’m not a political person.”

jill (“No shit.”)

ingram “Alright. Give me a Zen Star, and try not to mess it up.”

jill “Coming right up.”

ingram “Yes, it’s just as nasty as I’ve heard.”

jill “Why order it then?”

ingram “Not your problem.”

jill “…”

ingram “So, where’s the Red Comet?”

jill “My boss? She…”

dana%20regular “Jill, Fore’s headed your way!”

fore “…”

rad%20shiba “Oh! A customer. Sorry for the intrusion.”

ingram “You have a dog here? And a cat?”

jill “The cat’s mine, his name’s Fore. The dog just…hangs around here.”

He’s a valuable member of the team, Jill.

ingram “He looks well groomed and his fur looks healthy.”

ingram “Seems you take good care of him.”

jill “You seem to know a lot about cats.”

ingram “No, that’s just common sense.”

jill “Do you like cats, Mr. Ingram?”

ingram “I don’t dislike them.”

ingram “But I do dislike having animals near me when I’m eating or drinking.”

ingram “So… I’ll take my leave.”

jill “Please come again.”

jill “You said that last time.”

jill ”Please keep doing that.”

rad%20shiba “Fore’s as guilty as me.”

jill “Yeah, but I like Fore. He’s my baby.”

jill “Now go. Play or something.”

jill “Ah, you’re back. What happened with Sei?”

gil “I couldn’t see anything, but I guess she was happy.”

jill “Glad to hear that.”

gil “Did I miss something?”

jill “Only Jamie and…some other guy came.”

gil “I see.”

gil “You look exhausted.”

jill “Yesterday was filled with people carrying heavy emotional baggage.”

I’m pretty sure that’s just every day.

jill “I don’t mind it, but dealing with them tired me out a little bit.”

jill “I actually found myself wanting Dorothy to burst out of that door at any moment.”

Jill is definitely not okay.

gil%20slight%20smirk “So you missed Dorothy?”

jill “Kinda.”

jill “But anyway! Nothing a good night of sleep can’t fix.”

jill “Let’s just wrap things up around here and call it a day.”

This isn’t super related to what happened just now, but does anyone else feel like the game’s political commentary makes no sense at all? Apparently Glitch City is supposed to be based on Venezuela but not counting the economic crisis that comparison just…doesn’t work. It’s just a generic cyberpunk setting except it’s kinda anime. Bah, whatever, this game’s writing is confused in so many ways.

1 Like

HYPE

LITERALLY NO GAMES

is anyone else tired of this monster girl meme?

No.

NO

I’m going to marry a monster girl!

I just want actual gameplay next time.

Why would you want gameplay in a Sukeban game?

idk, all I see is pretty girls with nothing to back it up.

any info on the hardware?

It’s probably going to be yet another underpowered piece of shit.

It’s not like the competition is any better.

Meh, I think I’ll just quit gaming. Nothing but trash as of late.

Yeah…remember when games were actually good and devs made them with love and care?

Me neither.

This thread is closed

Once known as the king of sports, soccer is no longer even a shadow of its former self.

After the corruption scandals of the last World Cup, fans have begun drifting towards the theatrical magic of the Pro-Wrestling industry. The latest GSF tournament pulled nearly twenty million viewers from Glitch City alone. As of this moment, fans seem to be vastly favoring pro-wrestling.

”It’s easier to follow something we know is predetermined as opposed to something that PRETENDS to be a legit sport,” said a fan outside the GSF arena.

”People kicking a ball is boring as sh*t, too.”

Something tells me the devs are bitter that football (or soccer, if you prefer) is the most popular sport.

During our weekly interview with Prime Minister QUINCY, he revealed his unusual taste for a certain rare food: fried chicken.

”I know it sounds a bit…rude to say I like something most people don’t have access to, but I just can’t deny my love for it.”

”When you taste a chicken breast like the ones that KENTA make, you just can’t go back!” QUINCY declared to the Augmented Eye.

In other news, QUINCY also expressed his desire to ban instant food, although he later said it was “in jest.”

”I wouldn’t ban instant food since that’s what people in this city like the most, and even though I hate it…no, I wouldn’t ban it.”

The “Waifu Revolution” from the 2010’s is no longer a laughing matter. What started as a trend has since gone out of control since the standardization of VR technologies, which allows people to live full-time inside their computers.

As a result of this craze, it shouldn’t be a huge surprise to know that the popular Monster Girlfriend franchise has become a commercial juggernaut, with millions of copies shipped in Glitch City alone.

Worldwide, the game has shipped nearly 90 million copies since its launch in March, making it a record holder that won’t quit.

Is the “Waifu Age” real? Well, there’s your answer!

I sure am glad that the future will be filled with even more gross fetishes and casual racism, myself.

jill “Is it? You two always make me feel like I’m late.”

dana%20regular “If it helps, that dog isn’t coming until some time later.”

The fact that Rad Shiba is one of the few people that Jill finds annoying is baffling to me, considering what some of the other characters are like.

dana%20regular “Anyway, do you have something planned for Sunday?”

jill “Watch silly Mega Christmas specials with 1000 grams of black fur on my lap. Why?”

Jill is the world’s first NEET that somehow has a job.

dana%20regular “I was thinking about holding a small Mega Christmas party here this Sunday. You in?”

jill “Sure. Why not?”

dana%20regular “Alright!”

dana%20regular “Invite any client you’re acquainted with. The more the merrier.”

jill ”Got a new weed carrier.”

jill “The raids stopped. They found whatever or whoever they were looking for.”

gil “Huh…”

jill “Anyways, we better start working.”

jill “Time to mix drinks and change lives.”

jill “Welcome to Valha-…”

jill “…”

jill “…”

norma “I want…a…Fluffy Dream.”

jill “…”

jill “May I see your ID, please?”

Jill can tell she’s underage? All the female characters in this game look like they’re around the same age, barring Dorothy, who just looks EVEN younger.

norma “I don’t have an ID because…um…”

norma “I’m the ghost of Mega Christmas Past!”

Have to admit, not liking this Dickens adaptation. I prefer the Muppet Christmas Carol myself.

norma “I’ll haunt you constantly unless you give me a Fluffy Dream.”

jill “Do you have money to pay for the drinks?”

norma “Well, I…”

jill “DO YOU?”

I don’t think money is the issue here, Jill.

norma “Yes! I-I have money.”

jill “…”

It sure is a good thing she ordered a drink which isn’t necessarily alcoholic.

norma “Wow, I actually got a drink!”

jill “…”

jill “So, who are you here to stalk, Miss Ghost of Mega Christmas Past?”

norma “Stalk? Oh right! I’m a ghost.”

norma “Uh…that guy! Yeah.”

jill “Which employee did you leave without a Mega Christmas, Gil?”

Gil has ruined five Mega Christmases and saved at least three.

gil “Jill, please.”

jill (“It would’ve been funny if he reacted to that.”)

jill “Sorry kid, I’m not in the mood to humor you today unless you have some sort of ID.”

norma “…here.”

jill ”This is just a crude drawing of a dick.”

jill “…well, in a year or so, I would gladly serve you a drink.”

I’m surprised that Glitch City even has a legal drinking age. Then again, they probably don’t enforce it much.

jill “But until then, this is no place for you.”

norma “But I already got a drink!”

jill “A non-alcoholic one.”

Syke.

jill “You didn’t expect me to really give you a drink, right?”

norma “Uh…”

jill “So, if you would please leave…”

norma “I-I can’t leave! Not after trying so hard to even get here.”

jill “…”

jillsigh

jill “Alright, let’s start from the beginning, Miss…Norma.”

norma “How did you know my name?”

jill ”I’m a mind reader.”

jill “I saw your ID.”

norma “It could’ve been a fake ID.”

jill “I don’t think you’re stupid enough to make a fake ID that DOESN’T put you at 18 at the very least.”

norma “…!”

norma “You’re very sharp, Miss Bartender.”

Is she, though? Anyone can read an ID.

jill “You look like a nice girl, Norma. Why come to a bar like this?”

To get fucked up, one would assume.

norma “Uh…um…”

norma “You seem like you’re in a bad mood, Miss Bartender.”

gil “Nah, she’s just like that all the time.”

jill “Shut up.”

jillsigh Sorry if I’ve been harsh.”

jill “These last couple of days have been…heavy.”

Not to spoil anything, but you don’t know the half of it, Jill.

jill “And having someone underage here reminds me of a certain…incident from last week.”

norma “Incident?”

Yeah, Jill, you’re gonna need to specify. Half of your clientele are walking incidents.

jill “Well…”

Five hours later.

jill ”…and that’s why I’m no longer allowed step foot in Neo-San Francisco.”

jill “…don’t change the subject, young lady. Why did you come here?”

norma “What do you care?! I can do whatever I want!”

Ah, to be a teen again.

jill “Unless it’s illegal. In which case anyone can, should, and probably will stop you.”

norma “…”

norma “I just…just wanted to be more wild, you know?”

jill “Wild?”

norma “My mom puts way too many expectations on my shoulders.”

norma “I’ve always been out to make sure I don’t disappoint her.”

norma “But it’s never enough! It’s not good enough to have good grades.”

norma “She also wants me to go out and take a college preparation course.”

norma “And I’m tired! I don’t wanna do things for her anymore!”

jill “So you came to a bar.”

norma “Maybe if I came back home smelling like alcohol, she would leave me alone.”

norma “If I’m not good enough for her, I might as well kill any hope she has in me.”

jill “It’s funny. I have a friend who is also being pressured by her mother.”

norma “Really?”

jill “Yeah, but in her case, it’s being pressured to settle down and form a family.”

norma “Oh…”

jill “So, let me get this straight. You came here to make your mother disappointed?”

Defying parental authority is like, Being A Teenager 101, Jill, get with the program.

norma “Yes.”

jill “Do you like alcohol?”

norma “Actually, I think it’s nasty.”

jill “Then you’re doing things wrong.”

norma “What?”

jill “If you’re gonna disappoint your mom, at least do it with something you like.”

Spite is an absurdly powerful motivator.

jill “Like…become a belly dancer because you wanna be a belly dancer.”

jill “Otherwise you’re just trying to hurt her for the sake of hurting her.”

jill “Let’s start with something. What do you like doing?”

norma “I…don’t know.”

norma “I’ve been so focused on trying to be good enough that I haven’t been able to think about what I wanna do.”

That seems to a trend with kids that get straight A’s in school.

jill “Don’t you think you should start there?”

norma “Eh?”

jill “What good is doing something just for the sake of hurting someone?”

jill “If she gets disappointed in you over something you like doing, you have the right to protest.”

jill “But if you’re hurting her by hurting yourself over something you don’t enjoy…”

norma “Sounds silly, huh.”

jill “Very.”

jill “Go home. Do some self-discovery before hurting your mom, would you?”

jill ”Get yourself together, man. Move to Philly. Buy a loft. Start a noise band. Get six or seven roommates. Eat hummus with them. Book some gigs. Paint. Smoke cloves. Listen to Animal Collective. Start some type of salsa company.”

jill “Or at the very least, humor her until you’re old enough to move out.”

norma “Yeah, you’re right.”

norma “…thanks, Miss Bartender.”

jill “Call me Jill.”

jill “Careful out there!”

gil “In the end you did humor her for a bit.”

jill “Shut up.”

norma “Oh! A doggy!”

rad%20shiba “Hello little girl!”

jill “Oh shit.”

jill “You’re late.”

rad%20shiba “Missed me, J?”

jill “…”

jill “You’re too early.”

jill “Boss, will he be any good around here?”

He’s here to provide moral support, clearly.

rad%20shiba “I’m right here.”

jill “I know.”

dana%20regular “Of course, I spent lots of time training him. Why do you think he didn’t show up last week?”

jill “Because how the hell would I know you’d bring a PART-TIMER DOG?!”

dana%20regular “Here, let me show you.”

dana%20regular “Sit.”

rad%20shiba “SIR YES SIR.”

dana%20regular “Roll.”

rad%20shiba “SIR YES SIR.”

dana%20regular “Paw.”

rad%20shiba “SIR YES SIR.”

jill “Training…of course.”

jill “He’s only shouting “sir yes sir” and not doing anything else though.”

dana%20peeved “I never said I did a PERFECT job.”

jill “Hm? Is that a motorcycle?”

gil “In the end, he’s just a dog, I guess.”

jill “Y-Yes?”

mario “…bathroom.”

jill “Oh, sorry. It’s only for clients.”

mario%20shocked “…”

Me too, buddy. That policy is atrocious.

jill “Oh…um…promise me you’ll buy something afterwards. It’s that door over there.”

dana%20regular “Who the hell are you?”

jill “The other one!”

jill “Sheesh…”

dana%20regular “I said get out of my desk!”

rad%20shiba “But the world’s ending!”

dana%20regular “It was just a motorcycle.”

rad%20shiba “They’re the 4 Riders, then!”

dana%20regular “Those are horsemen, and it already stopped.”

jill “Don’t mention it.”

mario “I need to buy something now, right?”

jill “Oh no, you don’t have to. Sorry if it looked like I meant to inconvenience you.”

mario “No, I’ll order something. I need a rest anyways.”

jill “What can I get you?”

mario%20blushing “A…Piano Woman…would be nice.”

jill “Sorry, didn’t hear you.”

mario%20shockedahem I’ll have a Marsblast.”

jill “Eh…sure.”

Long story short: we serve him the drinks he actually wants before he finally embraces that he doesn’t need to be masc.

mario%20smiling “…”

jill “You look happy.”

mario%20shocked “Shut up.”

jill “Is that motorcycle out there yours, mister…?”

mario “Call me Mario. And yes, it’s mine.”

mario “Sorry for the noise.”

jill “Oh, don’t worry. It’s not like you stayed outside too long or anything.”

jill “So, what do you work as, Mario?”

mario%20smiling “I live to paint the roads black with my wheels, leaving the trail of my engine’s sounds wherever I go.”

mario%20smiling “I’m a rebel. Fuck the red lights! Fuck the speed limits! Fuck the helmet laws! The roads are mine and mine only. I am-…”

A jackass?

Ooh, is she gonna dress up as a cocktail, spin a sign around and stuff? Sounds dope.

mario%20smiling “Hello doggie!”

rad%20shiba “Hello shady guy!”

mario%20shocked “S-Shady…”

jill “Alright.”

gil “Careful.”

mario “Who was she?”

jill “Oh, she’s my boss.”

mario “She was cute.”

mario%20blushing “Err…not that you’re not cute. And it’s not like I’m into girls either.”

mario%20blushing “Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I just…”

That’s certainly one way to come out, I guess.

jill “So, where do you work, Mario?”

mario “I told you, I’m a rebel, I…”

jill “Rebels can’t maintain those bikes for too long. What’s your DAY job?”

mario “…I’m a delivery boy.”

Only semi-related, but do you ever start ordering from a place so frequently that the delivery people start to recognize you? Because I’ve done that.

jill “That’s really appropriate, I guess.”

jill “What do you deliver?”

mario “I’m from a courier company. So it’s kinda like mail, I guess.”

mario “I’m always around the city and I know it like the palm of my hand.”

mario “Sure, I might not remember every building, but I remember every intersection and every street.”

jill “That’s nice. I still can’t take detours without feeling totally lost.”

mario%20smiling “Try guiding yourself with the help of landmarks. Around here, the Saber Station’s antenna is a good reference.”

mario “Err…I mean…what do I care? Fix that yourself, b-bitch.”

jill “Do you want anything else, Mario?”

mario “I guess a Moonblast would be nice.”

jill “Moonblast?”

mario%20shocked “EEEEEEH GUT PUNCH. Yeah, that…one.”

Embrace the fem within you, Mario.

jill “…”

Same process as before.

mario “Heh…this is good.”

jill “It’s a Moonblast.”

mario%20shocked “…”

mario%20shocked “I…”

mario “No, nevermind.”

jill “Say, Mario. Why do you try so hard to keep up that tough guy image?”

Depends on if you want a long ass LGBT history lesson, Jill.

mario “…it isn’t working?”

jill “Maybe when you arrived and had to go to the bathroom, but after that you just looked…cute.”

mario “Cute…”

jill “So, why do it?”

mario “Bikers are supposed to be scary, right?”

Suuure, that’s why.

mario “Rebels that cause trouble and ride free from society’s ties.”

jill “If we applied that brand of logic here, I should be wearing one third of my clothes and lighting drinks on fire.”

mario%20blushing “I guess.”

jill “You can do whatever you want and dress however you want. It’s just that you look like you’re trying so hard.”

jill “Like you really don’t enjoy that.”

mario “…it’s not a LIE.”

jill “Who says you can’t dress as a biker and still be a nice kid?”

mario “Yeah, but other bikers…”

It’s just like that old cliche your parents said about peer pressure and jumping off of bridges.

jill “That sounded like something someone in high school would say.”

mario%20shocked “Ugh…”

jillsigh It’s just advice. Don’t take it too personally.”

mario “No, you’re right. I don’t have to be that way.”

jill “Unless you want to. I ain’t stopping you there.”

mario “Yeah, but I don’t. It’s tiring and I don’t feel good.”

jill “If you want, you can try to stay quiet. You were pretty intimidating when you did that.”

He was?

mario “I see.”

jill “Will you have another drink or did you have too many already?”

mario “I can handle another one. Get me a Fringe Weaver.”

jill “Sure.”

We did it, kids!

mario “Yup, that’s the one. Thanks.”

mario “Say, that guy over there.”

jill “Gil? What’s up with him?”

mario “Are you dating him?”

jill ”Fuck no.”

jill “No.”

mario “Is he seeing anyone?”

jill “Not as far as I know.”

mario “Do you think he…”

jill “He…?”

Oh come on, Jill. Be a good wingman.

mario%20shocked “No, nevermind! I said nothing.”

jill “Please come again.”

jill “…”

jill “Ah, Gil. You heartbreaking fuckboy.”

Took you long enough.

gil “Eh? What?”

jill “Nothing.”

jill “I’ll be taking my break now, Gil.”

gil “Okay. Careful.”

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That thing about dictionaries is an actual thing, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to compare two dictionaries word-by-word to find a made-up word. Might actually prefer playing this game to that. Only just, though.

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VA-11 HALL-A is my favorite edutainment game.

Due to preparing for exams and internet troubles (currently using mobile data to write this!) there will be no update this week. But because I still felt like posting something, here’s me attempting to liveblog a terrible analysis of VA-11 HALL-A.

jill “Alright, back to business.”

Well, that’s a fitting way to begin this update, considering our accidental short hiatus.

jill “Any luck?”

dana%20regular “I managed to give out some flyers, but most people were distracted by the dog.”

dana%20peeved “I had to tell them to go to the Rad Shiba Bar to get their attention.”

jill “Oh.”

:tw: Once again, it is Her. :tw:

dorothy “The door opens, and the crowd goes wild when they see AAAAAAAAAAGH! DOOOOOOOOOG!”

dorothy%20nervous “H-H-Honey…some help here.”

jill “Hey dog, I heard cats in the alley.”

Why, Jill, why.

jill “Wow. You really are bad with dogs, eh?”

dorothy%20upset “Did I make it too obvious?”

I’m pretty sure that Dorothy being as subtle as a sledgehammer is her defining character trait.

jill “Why though?”

dorothy%20upset “I don’t know.”

dorothy “Oh, hey John!”

gil “Hey.”

dorothy “I think it’s because I just got that trait at random.”

An in-depth look into the process of writing VA-11 HALL-A.

dorothy “When AIs are created, they’re given fears or tastes completely at random.”

dorothy “I just happened to get stuck with a fear of dogs and chinchillas.”

jill “Chinchillas are extinct, though.”

I mean, I used to have a fear of black holes when I was a kid, so it could be worse.

dorothy%20upset “Thank gods.”

jill “What will you have?”

dorothy “Well, it’s that time of the month, so I’ll have a Bleeding Jane.”

jill “Coming right…um…up.”

jill “”That time of the month”…do Lilim menstruate?”

My favorite thing about cyberpunk is that it deals with philosophical questions.

dorothy “Yes, oil.”

dorothy%20flirty “No, silly. We don’t.”

dorothy “There are a few maintenance things we have to do every month, but those are a different story.”

jill “Then what time of the month is it?”

dorothy%20smiling “The time when I feel like drinking a Bleeding Jane.”

jill “…”

jill “So, how’s business?”

dorothy “You’d be surprised by how many people get struck by holiday depression and need some Dorothy in their lives.”

The ideal amount of people that need Dorothy in their lives is zero.

dorothy%20upset “Although it’s also the season with the most competition.”

jill “I didn’t know you had competition.”

dorothy “Of course I do, both humans and Lilim. Half of them got a sexy Santa dress and that’s not fair!”

dorothy%20verge%20of%20tears “They were sold out! I wanted one too!”

dorothy “But maybe it’s better that way.”

jill “How so?”

dorothy “The other girls like to dress in skimpy clothes and show off lots of skin. That scares off lots of people.”

dorothy “I learned that the best way to maintain regulars is to just dress normally.”

And as we all know, maid outfits are Extremely Regular.

jill “Really?”

dorothy “If I dress normally, they can just pretend I’m some acquaintance. No need to hide me until reaching the room.”

dorothy “Hell, some even invite me to a dinner or a movie before anything else.”

Do the devs not realize how creepy that would look to passers-by?

dorothy%20upset “Although I must say it’s a bit hard to get the clients in the first place. They can’t tell what I do at a glance.”

dorothy%20upset “And the first time they see me after a call they think I’m just making a prank or something.”

jill “Huh, I never saw it that way.”

jill “Which reminds me. Do you serve only humans or do you serve Lilim too?”

dorothy “Humans only, but I do have an “at least 40% organic” policy.”

jill “40%?”

dorothy “Human from the neck up. Dicks preferably organic, but I can make exceptions.”

dorothy “For females, I’m not so strict though.”

How the hell these people managed to do a crossover with a studio that explicitly focuses on LGBT content is beyond me.

jill “Hm…”

dorothy “Why? Do you know someone that might be interested?”

jill “No, just mere curiosity.”

dorothy “Well, your curiosity made me thirsty. Get me a Blue Fairy. A big one, would you?”

I’ve never seen A.I. but somehow I feel like it would probably be better than this game.

jill “Alright.”

dorothy “I wonder if anyone has seen fairies after a couple of these.”

Fun fact! Hallucinations are actually a symptom of delirium tremens.

jill “Some guy tested that by drinking as many as he could.”

jill “He thought he saw one, but he was dizzy and what he’d seen was his puke.”

dorothy “Oh.”

jill “You know, earlier today there was a Mega Christmas spirit around here.”

jill ”And then you showed up.”

dorothy “What about it?”

jill (“That I’m realizing I made a fuss about serving drinks to someone underaged, but here I am.”)

jill “Nothing in particular, just a funny story.”

dorothy%20smiling “I have a funny story myself. It’s the Mega Santa prank!”

jillsigh The what?”

:tw: I don’t exactly know how to classify this, but I think pedophilia and sexual assault will do. :tw:

dorothy%20flirty “Heh. It’s a prank I pull every year.”

dorothy “First, I pick a mall, wait for a day with lots of people.”

dorothy “Then I go to Santa’s lap, and when he asks what I want…”

dorothy “I say in the most innocent tone I can muster…”

dorothy%20smiling “”I want you to make me a woman!””

Yeah, no. That’s not funny. Fuck you, Sukeban Games. Fuck you.

dorothy%20smiling “Sometimes they try to cover it up. “The Lilim wants to be human!””

dorothy%20flirty “It’s then when I say, “No. I. Want. You.””

jill “…”

dorothy%20upset “After that I say, “Well, at the very least I want a dildo, a big pink one. Or a very bumpy cucumber!””

dorothy “Sometimes I spice it up. Instead of cucumbers I ask for a pony and a crane to lift him.”

dorothy “I once thought about screaming, “Help! I’m being molested!””

dorothy “But I remembered it was a prank, I didn’t want to ruin the guys life.”

jill “How considerate.”

dorothy “Although I did get a client that way. He became a regular soon after.”

What.

jill “Huh.”

dorothy “But yeah, three years and they still don’t get that it’s always me.”

jill “Oh yeah, how old are you?”

dorothy%20smiling “Old enough for anything you want.”

jill “Numbers. I need numbers.”

dorothy%20flirty “Are you really asking a girl her age that way? Okay then, tell me your age first.”

jill “27.”

dorothy%20pout “No fair! You didn’t get fidgety or anything like that.”

dorothy%20pout “Fiiiine. I’ll tell you.”

dorothy “My model’s designed to look between 10 to 13 years old. But my last checkup said my mental age was 24.”

Can you tell that the devs watch a lot of garbage anime?

jill “How long since you’ve been deployed?”

dorothy%20flirty “That’s a secret I’ll keep with me~”

jill “Fair enough.”

dorothy “I expected you to get all uncomfortable talking about your age though. Why didn’t you?”

Because that’s a normal reaction?

jill “With how dangerous everything’s been lately, every year you get matters.”

jill “Getting old isn’t a curse, it’s an achievement.”

dorothy “You should make a shirt with that. Because if you don’t, I will.”

jill “Feel free to do so.”

jill “Do you want anything else?”

dorothy “Let’s see…”

dorothy “Oh! A Cobalt Velvet. It’s been a while since I’ve tried one of those.”

jill “Alright.”

This drink has to be a Lynch reference, right?

dorothy “Yup, this is the one.”

jill “Do you like it?”

dorothy “I don’t dislike it. I guess I’m not mature enough for these drinks.”

dorothy “Hey, honey. What day’s today?”

jill “Wednesday.”

dorothy “No, the number. The number!”

jill “Number? 21.”

jill “Shouldn’t you know that?”

dorothy%20pout “I’m a Lilim, not a calendar.”

jill “I thought you would know that much.”

dorothy%20pout “Next you’re gonna tell me to make some convoluted calculation.”

We’re getting into some dangerous David Cage territory here.

jill “Y-You can’t?”

dorothy%20upset “I could if I put my mind to it, but it’s not something I have quick access to.”

dorothy%20upset “Yes, I have an inner calendar and a calculator, but those are used in lots of other operations every second.”

dorothy “I COULD do all that, but it’s a lot quicker to just ask you.”

jill “I see.”

jill “Why do you need the date though?”

Pay no mind to the television in the background. This definitely isn’t foreshadowing or connected to any characters that we might have previously met.

dorothy “Oh! But don’t worry, it’s nothing dangerous or anything like that, just…heavy.”

jill “Would you like some help?”

dorothy “Would you help me?”

jill “If you tell me what it is you need help with.”

dorothy “…maybe later. I have to go now.”

jill “Bye.”

gil “Do you think she really can’t access calendars and calculators that easily?”

jill “I guess it’s kinda like how even if a text processor can access the computer’s calendar, you don’t use it for that.”

gil “Why didn’t you tell her you missed her yesterday?”

jill “Forgot about it.”

Rad Shiba deserves a raise for almost making Dorothy leave, to be honest.

jill “Why not look again?”

And just who is this? Well, thanks to the delays and the length of this particular day, there’ll be a special update this Wednesday so we can sort of get back on track.

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gaby “…”

gil “Maybe the bar got popular at some middle school?”

One time this restaurant near my primary school got popular among kids and they just started taking their sugar and honey packets for free. I still have no idea why they did that.

jill “That would be a hassle.”

jill “Oh gods, maybe Alma was right.”

Sidenote: why does Jill say “oh gods” like she’s a character in a bad, pulpy fantasy series?

gil “Right about what?”

jill “Well, the other day I was asking her opinion on the whole Alice_Rabbit thing.”

jill “Before the whole massive transmission hack thing.”

jill “And at some point she talked about hacking becoming a fad and said:”

jill “”Imagine if, suddenly, a group of tweens broke into this bar and started asking for drinks.””

jill “And today, there have been two kids already.”

gaby “…”

jill “Eeeeeh…”

gil “How would bartending become a fad?”

jill “Maybe a cartoon?”

There’s probably an anime about bartending, at least.

gil “Kids’ cartoons don’t show any alcohol.”

jill “True.”

gaby “…”

jill “Um…”

jill “Excuse me, Miss…”

gaby “…”

jill “This is no place for kids, so you should…”

gaby “…”

jill “Um…”

jill “Gil, she’s staring too much. And she’s saying nothing.”

jill ”She’s just standing there…menacingly!”

gil “She’s not ordering anything, she’s not causing trouble and there’s nothing inappropriate here.”

gil “I mean, nothing inappropriate aside from alcohol. But alcohol is everywhere anyways.”

Considering the clientele, I think there are plenty more inappropriate things.

jill “So what do you suggest?”

gil “Let her be? Maybe she’s just curious about the bar.”

jill “She’s saying nothing.”

gil “Maybe she’s curious AND shy.”

gil “Also, it’s rude to speak about people you have in front of you like they can’t hear you.”

gil ”That’s what the brackets are for, Jill.”

jill “Yeah…”

jill “…”

gaby “…”

A riveting conversation.

jill “…”

gil “Jill.”

jill “BWAH!”

gil “How the hell did I startle you?”

jill “What do you want?”

gil “Can you help me out here with a Beer?”

jill “R-Right…”

gil “Thanks. And lower your guard a bit, please.”

gil “Oh yeah, before I forget.”

gil “The disposal unit comes on Sunday. Do you have any expired ingredients on your side?”

jill “Oh right. Yeah.”

jill “There’s a bottle of Karmotrine that’s like a month past expiration.”

Expiration rates can be pretty unreliable at times though.

gil “Put it by the sink so I remember to dispose of it.”

jill “Thanks.”

jill “…!”

jill “Y-Yes?”

gaby “Are you happy?”

She works at Valhalla. What do you think?

jill “Am I happy? Well…that’s a weird question.”

jill “I’m not sad, I guess. I’m not jubilant, but…”

gaby “No, I mean, are you happy with your life? With your choices?”

jill “Deep question…”

jill “I mean, I might have one or two regrets but I guess it could be worse.”

gaby “Regrets?”

jill “Yeah, I mean…don’t we all?”

gaby “I see…”

Is this girl just Nega-Jill or something?

gaby “…”

jill “Um…”

gaby “…”

jill “…”

Yeah, this update is kind of a lot of pointless filler.

gil “Hey Jill.”

jill “BWAH!”

gil “…again? Aren’t you a bit on edge?”

jill “Maybe. What did you want?”

gil “Didn’t you borrow the screwdriver the other day?”

jill “I did, why?”

gil “I forgot to take the coins from the arcades in the corner last week.”

gil “So I need it to take them out.”

jill “Oh, let’s see…”

jill “Here.”

jill “It’s not like they see much action these days anyways.”

I know it’d be extremely impractical and unprofitable but arcade machines should make a comeback.

gil “Chump change is still money. Pocket change has saved my ass many times.”

jill “What? Did you throw it in someone’s face while escaping?”

gil “That only happened once and the old lady started it!”

jill “…right.”

jill “Why does an arcade still use coins nowadays? Or physical money, when you get down to it.”

gil “For the reason arcades still exist. Nostalgia.”

jill “Maybe.”

gaby “…”

Like I said before, a LOT of pointless filler.

jill “E-Eh? Yeah?”

gaby “Do you recognize me?”

jill “Recognize you?”

jill “…I want to say I do, but…eh…”

jill “Sorry.”

jill “Sister? Sorry, but I don’t have any sis-…”

jill “…sister?”

Jeez, Jill, you’re worse than a Metal Gear protagonist.

gaby “Not even a “sister in law”?”

jill “…”

jill “…no way. Gaby? Is that really you?”

jill “God, I’m so sorry, but you’ve just grown so much since I last saw you.”

jill “How long has it been?”

gaby “…three years.”

jill “R-Right.”

gil “So you know her?”

jill “Yeah. She’s actually my girlfr-…my ex’s sister.”

jill “Um…so, how have you been doing?”

Master of small talk.

gaby “I actually had to transfer schools, and I managed to skip a grade thanks to the admission tests.”

gaby “I’ll be out of middle school next year.”

Is middle school a thing anywhere besides America? Genuinely curious.

jill “You’ve always been a smart one, so it’s no surprise._

jill “Have you thought about what you want to study in college? You always said you wanted to be a scientist?”

gaby “I don’t know yet. I guess I still have a couple of years to think about that.”

jill “Well, don’t feel pressured about that. Maybe you’ll need a sabbatical year?”

jill “S-So…how’s Lenore?”

gil “Wait, who’s Lenore?”

jill “Her sister, she’s…um…she was my girlfriend.”

Okay, to be honest, I kinda like the signs that Jill isn’t really over her ex. It’s cute.

gil “So you actually had a relationship with something that’s not a cat? Color me surprised!”

jill “Hey…don’t talk shit about my baby.”

jillahem

jill “So, how’s Lenore doing?”

And now we finally get to the actual meat of this day’s plot. And it’s kind of a lot and I’m actually not sure how to feel about it. On the one hand, killing off gay characters is an ancient cliche by this point, but I also think the way this game portrays people dealing grief in a…fairly realistic manner.

jill “…”

jill “Sorry, I don’t think I heard right.”

gaby%20sad “My sister is dead, Jill. She died last Saturday. I came all the way to tell you the news.”

jill “Come on Gaby, stop fooling arou-…”

gaby%20mad “My sister was left to suffer her disease alone while you were all merry here, mixing drinks and chatting!”

jill “Wait, Lenore was sick? Of what? Since when?”

gaby “Localized Nanomachine Rejection. It gave her a heart attack.”

gaby “She started complaining about chest pains not long after you left.”

gaby%20mad “Was all the talk about getting your freedom worth it, Jill?”

jill “Why are you lashing out at me like that?! Did I infect her with the disease that killed her?”

gaby%20crying “No, but. It’s too much of a coincidence that she started getting worse and worse right after you left!”

gaby%20crying “She got visibly sick after your fight. It’d be no surprise if that fight played a key role in killing her!”

jill “But that’s just speculation, you can’t expect-…”

gaby%20crying “And all of that because you wanted “freedom”?!”

gaby%20crying “What kind of freedom is so enticing that it makes you hurt a nice three-year-old relationship?!”

gaby%20crying “Was this freedom so important you cut all contact with us?!”

gaby%20crying “Was this freedom so good you left everything behind?!”

gaby%20crying “Was this freedom worth the life of my-…”

jill “SHUT UP!”

jill “I didn’t kill your sister, for fuck’s sake! It’s not like I infected her with that Nanomachine Rejection!”

jill “Hell, this is the first time I’ve even heard she was sick!”

gaby%20shocked “…”

jill “And do you really know what kind of fear drove me to have that argument with your sister?!”

jill “Do you even understand the fear of feeling your youth slip through your fingers?!”

jill “Do you think it was all easy for me?! I was scared! I’m still scared! But I needed to grab a hold of my life!”

jill “But it has nothing to do with your sister!”

jill “I-I loved her… Do you think that fight didn’t hurt me too?”

jill “I…”

gaby%20crying “…”

I’m tempted to sympathize with Jill here, but like, kids have a fucking hard time dealing with loss and they’re gonna do shitty things. I might just be reading a bit too much into the bad video game, though.

jill “…”

jill “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

jill “…”

jill “I… I…”

gil “I’ll make sure that girl gets to wherever she wants to go safely.”

dana%20regular “Come on, Jill. Let’s take you home.”

jill “…”

jill “…”

dana%20regular “Hey Jill, you wanna grab something to eat?”

jill “…”

jill “…I’m not hungry.”

dana%20regular “Want me to come in? Keep you company?”

jill “…I-I’m fine, I just…sniff I just need to be alone for a bit.”

dana%20regular “Jill…”

dana%20regular “You can tell me what you’re feeling, it’s okay.”

jill “IT’S NOT OKAY!!”

jill “It’s…it’s not…”

jill “…”

dana%20regular “Come here Jill, come here.”

jillsniff I-It’s just…I feel like part of me is crumbling right now. “

jill “M-My old girlfriend was sick and I didn’t know anything about it!”

jill “Her sister came to deliver the news, and she held nothing but animosity for me…”

jill “And not only that, but I lashed out at her too! History fucking repeats itself.”

jill “Maybe if I hadn’t cowered back then and apologized…”

jill “Maybe if I wasn’t such a selfish little shit…”

jill “Maybe…”

jill “…m-maybe…”

jillsniff

dana%20regular “…”

jill “Thanks, Boss. I really needed this.”

dana%20regular “Do you want me to stay with you today?”

jill “Thanks, but I actually need some time for myself.”

jill “Some me time to put my thoughts in order.”

dana%20regular “Yeah, I understand.”

dana%20regular “But don’t do anything funny, you hear me?”

dana%20regular “If any weird thoughts come to you, or if you feel too anxious, call me.”

jill “Yeah.”

dana%20regular “…”

dana%20regular “Hey Fore! She’s in your care, you hear?”

fore “Meow.”

dana%20regular “Remember to call me. I’ll call you later to check on you nonetheless.”

jill “…”

And there we have it, one of the rare actually good parts of the game, at least in my opinion. They’ll probably ruin it with boob jokes and whatnot in the next update, so let’s savor this.

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Yeah I think I’m more on the “you killed off the gay you asshats” side of this conundrum.

I think a game about a bartender where the plot is revealed to you by conversations you have with customers CAN be good and compelling but this game didn’t do it. By necessity it’s going to break the “show don’t tell” rule a lot so you need to really go hard on the bits you CAN show. So I kinda feel like Jill just shouting “I also was upset about that fight” doesn’t sell the moment as well as it ought to.

Is this the greatest thing to ever grace planet earth?

I literally can’t stop touching myself

Such a high quality release.

BUT WHY IS THE CAMO BLURRY

I think it’s a regulation for the civilian models.

Something’s off. I’d be all over this normally but I can’t seem to get excited over this.

Your shit taste is showing.

Nah, I just think I’m kind of desens…descen…I’m kind of tired of the same thing over and over.

That’s what happens when you consume way too much fucking military equipment and weapons.

Yeah I think it’s that. I better stop buying so many weapons already or I’ll never find pleasure in them again.

Any word on the Camo stuff for other civilian weaponry?

They said they were going to announce more stuff on a later date.

I like porn, you guys.

THIS THREAD IS CLOSED

Anyone else remember that the userbase for danger/u/ is supposed to be primarily female? Because the devs sure didn’t. These parts just remain as gross and dumb as ever.

Fans of the famous “Cyber Idol” Kira MIki are in for a huge party, all thanks to the announcement of a second concert in Glitch City’s Silver Thunder Super Dome.

”I’m so excited to extend my visit!” declared the Cyber Idol during an interview.

Tickets are now up for sale and expected to disappear in a matter of minutes, so be quick and secure the best spots!

You can get tickets from the following retailers:

TicketLord Idol Hell

We have nanomachines tracking people 24/7. However, due to the violent protests that have taken place recently, Prime Minister QUINCY is now proposing a new law that will allow the government to “shut down” anyone with nanomachines in their body, using a pulse signal.

”Many people died during the protests, and that could’ve been avoided if we had more control over the masses,” QUINCY said during a parliament meeting. “We have the technology to simply shut down lawbreakers. It’s a non-lethal way to end any kind of conflict and it’s common sense to use it at this point.”

When asked about the possible negative consequences, QUINCY refused to make any further comments.

Ever since Giant Yusuke won the GSF belt, he’s had nothing but negative responses from the fans.

Challenger after challenger has tried to take the title away from the imposing giant, but nearly all of them were injured in the process.

66 American Kid surprised the GSF world by returning to action almost four months earlier than expected, and then challenging Giant Yusuke to a title match on January 4th at the Super Silver Thunder Dome.

”This January, I’ll become the champion GSF deserves!” 66 American Kid proclaimed during a promotion in front of 25,000 fans in the Kokoro Hall.

jill “I feel like shit.”

gil “You sure you should’ve come then? You’re in the alright to stay at home.”

jill “I have to come.”

In another game, this could have led to an insightful analysis. Unfortunately, this is VA-11 HALL-A.

jill “I threw away everything I had in my life to be here.”

jill “People I loved were pushed aside so I could enjoy my freedom of being here.”

jill “My stupid, stupid freedom…”

jill “…”

jill “So I will come here until I die, even after the bar closes, until my hair falls out.”

gil “You’re the one who looks like she’s about to fall apart.”

A master at pointing out the obvious and implied.

gil “Your eyes are red and swollen.”

jill “Yeah? Well…your hair is…hairy!”

gil “Yes, it is.”

jill “Agh! Who was the dipshit that changed the order of the glasses?”

gil “It was me. I was the one washing dishes yesterday, remember?”

jill “Oh yeah, I was too busy staring at my crumbling life and all that.”

gil%20exasperated “Why don’t you go home, Jill? You’re in no position to deal with people right now.”

gil%20exasperated “Go home, rest a bit.”

Honestly though he’s kinda right.

jill “My girlfrie-…my ex-girlfriend died and I wasn’t there to see her one last time.”

jill “All because of a fight I spent all these years regretting and wishing to, but never actually apologizing for.”

jill “My decision to assert my freedom and grab a hold of my life led me to this.”

jill “A bartender strapped for cash that distanced herself from her loved ones for no other reason than selfishness.”

jill “So I won’t fucking leave. I threw all of that away to be here, so here I will stay!”

jill “This is what I wanted, this is why I left all of that behind, this is why…”

jill “…”

gil%20exasperated “See? You’re starting to sound like a broken record.”

Do “not working” and “having company” have to be diametrically opposed, though?

dana%20regular “How are you feeling, Jill?”

jill “I feel like a shit-eating piece of shit.”

jill “I’m the lowest of any possible life form you might find.”

jill “Nanobes look down to me in disgust, knowing they’re far superior.”

dana%20regular “You’re spirited, that’s good.”

jill “Where’s the mutt?”

dana%20regular “Working with CIRA.”

gil “‘At’ CIRA.”

dana%20peeved “I know what I said.”

dana%20regular “In any case, let Jill process her anger. It’s perfectly normal to feel that way.”

dana%20regular “And here, she’s surrounded by people that care about her.”

Also a good excuse to keep her working, I guess.

dana%20regular “That’s a lot better than leaving her to fend for herself.”

dana%20regular “I mean, as smart as Fore can be, he’s still just a cat.”

gil “Then why not have Jill stay, but not serve anyone today?”

jill “What part of ‘I won’t leave’ didn’t you understand?!”

jill “I didn’t leave everyone behind just to sit and do nothing!”

gil%20exasperated “Fine, fine…”

gil%20exasperatedsigh What do we do if she lashes out at a client?”

dana%20regular “That’s why you’re here, Gillian Pliskin.”

Somehow I feel like the devs are only familiar with that name through Metal Gear.

gil “Who?”

dana%20regular “Hey Jill.”

jill “What?”

dana%20regular “I’ll be in my office, but if you need a break or a hug, just tell me.”

jill “…”

virgilio “The hall of heroes keeps shining. Brimming with the… sniff Do I smell tacos? Wait, it’s outside. Nevermind.

jill “Oh, hell no.”

jill “…Virgilio. What can I get you?”

virgilio “Today, the luminous pollution on the streets makes it seem almost like a starry sky.”

virgilio “And when I think about stars, I think about celebrities. Celebrities are fishy and my favorite fish is the octopus.”

virgilio “So I want something octopus-like.”

jill “…”

virgilio “Aren’t you…gonna do that weird bartending thing?”

jill “I’m waiting for you to order like a decent human being.”

Moral of the day: don’t be a dick to service workers, ever.

virgilio “I’m not following.”

jill “Spell out your order like you’re a human who is not in need of medical help.”

virgilio%20peeved “Fine then, I want a Sparkle Star. S-P-A-R-R…kle Star.”

jill “…”

virgilio%20peeved “Have you TRIED to spell under pressure?”

virgilio “You look angry, Spelling Bartender. Are you having that time of the month or something?”

Haha, casual misogyny.

jill “No, I’m just filled with ridiculous amounts of anger, pain, and self-hate, and…”

jill “…on second thought, you’re not that far from the truth, I guess.”

virgilio%20upset “I get those too, you know? Periods.”

jill “…you do?”

God forbid trans people exist in this universe, or something.

virgilio%20smiling “Yes. Last month, I finally got over my Renaissance and moved to my Enlightenment.”

jill “…”

jill “And here I was, thinking you’d get to say something serious for once.”

virgilio%20peeved “Are you implying I’m not serious?”

jill “…”

virgilio%20peeved “Glaring holes through me will do nothing. I’m glare-immune!”

jillsigh

virgilio “But if you allow me to give you a sincere piece of advice…”

jill “…whatever. It’s not like it’ll help.”

virgilio “You shouldn’t kick yourself so much.”

virgilio “If you keep it up, any chance of finally forgiving yourself will be someday be gone.”

virgilio “Self-hate will leave you with a hole that will never heal.”

virgilio “So please take measures against it instead of sulking so much.”

jill “…I’ll be damned. That actually sounded half-sensible.”

jill “And here I was thinking you were just a pompous lunatic.”

virgilio%20peeved “Hey! Pompous lunatics have stories too!”

jill “Really? What story?”

Hopefully one about how his life got flipped turned upside down.

virgilio%20peeved “I…would rather not tell.”

jill “Figures.”

jill “You want anything else?”

virgilio%20smiling “Have you ever seen how the…”

jill “…”

virgilio%20peeved “A-A Bad Touch.”

jill “…”

virgilio%20peeved “Yeah, I guess this is the one.”

jill “…”

jill (“Maybe he’s right and I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.”)

jill “…”

jill (“Even though I deserve every second of it.”)

jill (“If only I had apologized earlier, I might not be feeling this way right now.”)

jill (“If only I…i-if only I…”)

jill (“I…I can’t even remember what held me from apologizing all these years.”)

Here’s a nice point to segue into one of this game’s problems. While the typical visual novel has plenty of narration and internal monologues - one could say they form the bulk of the genre, even - the way this game is formatted doesn’t really allow for those, and that results (at least in my opinion) in a far weaker narrative.

virgilio%20peeved “Um…bartender. You’re making lots of faces there.”

jill (“Pride? Fear? What kept me from going out and apologizing to Lenore?”)

jill (“I can’t even fucking remember what feeling kept me from fixing this whole situation?”)

jill (“Can’t I at least find solace in whatever feeling it was that brought me to this situation?!”)

jill (“Great, now I’m feeling even worse thanks to not being able to muster whatever feeling held me.”)

jill “…”

virgilio%20upset “I-Is she okay?”

gil “No, but just leave her be for now.”

new%20sei “Hey Jill!”

jill “…eh?”

jill “Oh, thank god. A normal person.”

virgilio%20peeved “WAAAAAAA! A Mummy!”

new%20sei%20blushing “No, no. I don’t have kids.”

jill “…still more normal than this twat.”

Is twat commonly used as an insult outside of Britain? It just sounds kinda wrong in American English.

jill “How are you feeling, Sei?”

new%20sei%20smiling “My bones are still broken, but at least the cuts are healing nicely.”

new%20sei%20smiling “Thank god I’m not someone that scars easily.”

new%20sei%20blushing “Um… I mean wounds don’t leave me marks. It’d be a problem if I couldn’t get scar tissue.”

virgilio “What happened to you?”

new%20sei “Fell off two and a half stories into some trash and rubble.”

jill “You look better, though. Last time you came, you looked like you were about to collapse emotionally.”

Uh, Jill, she WAS about to collapse emotionally. You were there.

new%20sei%20smiling “Heheh… I guess.”

new%20sei%20smiling “…”

new%20sei “…you’re the one who looks like it now, though.”

new%20sei “How do I put it…it’s like when I called you your full name, but magnified.”

jill “Yeah, don’t mind me too much. I’m in a bad mood.”

new%20sei “Anything I can do?”

jill “Please forgive me if I suddenly lash out. At you or anyone else.”

jill “Do you want something?”

new%20sei%20smiling “My tongue’s not so sensitive today, so let’s have a Beer.”

jill “And you?”

virgilio%20peeved “Such a change in tone.”

virgilio “I-I’m fine. I don’t need anything.”

jill “…”

new%20sei%20smiling “Yay! Let’s see if there are any differences from the canned ones.”

Probably doesn’t have that carbonated feel, for one.

jill “…and?”

new%20sei%20smiling “This one tastes…less watered down.”

new%20sei “So, did something happen to you?”

jill “I’m fine, nothing’s happened to me.”

new%20sei “People who are fine don’t act like that.”

Besides, someone saying they’re fine is like one of the more obvious indicators that they’re not fine.

new%20sei “…oh! I get it. You’re in ‘those days’.”

Why are all the running gags in this game…like that?

jill “…”

new%20sei “When it’s that time of the month, I get a bit sulky.”

jill “No, I’m not on my period.”

Just stop it, please.

new%20sei “No?”

jillsigh I’m dealing with the loss of someone, okay?”

new%20sei%20blushing “Oh!”

new%20sei%20blushing “…”

new%20sei%20sad “…sorry.”

jill “Don’t worry.”

jillsigh Maybe I shouldn’t have come today after all.”

new%20sei%20sad “…”

new%20sei%20sad “Um…”

new%20sei%20sad “No, I…”

new%20sei%20sad “Hm…”

new%20sei%20sad “Maybe…”

new%20sei%20blushing “Agh!”

jill “Are you alright?”

new%20sei%20blushing “I-I’m trying to find something to say…”

new%20sei%20blushing “Making a joke would be tasteless, and I can’t say everything will be alright without it sounding…cheap.”

new%20sei%20sad “I’m…at a loss as to what to do here. Sorry.”

jill “Heh…”

jill “Wanna hear something weird?”

jill “I was exactly like that when Stella came here on Monday talking about you.”

new%20sei “Oh.”

virgilio “Well, ladies. I’m leaving.”

jill “…Virgilio.”

virgilio “Yeah?”

jill “You were just sitting with a Valkyrie.”

jillsigh I’d feel bad about the way I treated him today.”

jill “…if not for the fact that he was being cryptic with his orders for no good reason.”

jill “Yes… NO!! I mean…”

new%20sei%20smiling “Heheh…”

new%20sei “You could’ve given him a free Beer or something and apologized.”

jill “Yeah. I just keep messing things up with people.”

new%20sei “But you know? He seemed familiar.”

jill “Familiar?”

new%20sei “Yeah, I can’t put my finger on it though. I just feel like I’ve seen him somewhere.”

It’s a good thing this will never end up being relevant in any way whatsoever.

new%20sei “Ah well, it might just be that he looks like someone from an ad or something.”

Or a popular youtube series.

jill “So, what brings you here?”

new%20sei “I wanted to come with Stella. So I’m waiting for her.”

jill “Why here?”

new%20sei “To be with you, of course!”

Jeez that’s gay.

jill “…”

jill “That reminds me. How did Stella react when you arrived?”

new%20sei%20in%20pain “She slapped me…real hard. It hurt.”

new%20sei%20in%20pain “She said, ‘That’s for making me worried and not listening to me!’ and then she became happy.”

jill “Huh…”

new%20sei “Can I ask whose loss you are dealing with?”

jill “…you shouldn’t be bothered with it.”

jill “Just pretend I’m in a bad mood and call it a day.”

new%20sei “Oh, okay.”

jill “…”

By the end of this game 90% of the dialogue will just be ellipses. Possibly even 95%

new%20sei%20sad “…”

jill “…you really want to know, huh?”

new%20sei%20blushing “I can’t help it! I don’t like seeing people sad. I just need to know context, not details.”

jillsigh Someone to whom I said some mean thing to passed away before I could ever see her again.”

Well that’s one way to put it.

jill “Does that work?”

new%20sei “Yeah. Sorry.”

new%20sei “Knowing I can’t do anything helps me calm down but…”

new%20sei%20blushing “E-E-EH! I mean…it’s not that I wouldn’t help! I just…”

jill “Calm down. I get it.”

new%20sei “I can’t contain myself when I see people in need.”

new%20sei “But I’ve learned that there are times when you just can’t do anything…and that’s kinda fine.”

That’s…a bit of a morally dubious outlook on life, but hopefully I’m just misreading that.

new%20sei “Thank god I learned that, otherwise I would’ve gone insane ages ago.”

jill “You’re a good person, Sei.”

new%20sei%20smiling “Nah, I’m just an annoying girl.”

new%20sei%20smiling “Still, if there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.”

new%20sei%20smiling “I have broken bones but that doesn’t mean I can’t offer emotional support.”

jill “You could always order another drink.”

I don’t think that constitutes emotional support, Jill.

new%20sei “Oh yeah! That! Let’s do that.”

new%20sei “Get me something cold, please.”

jill “Alright.”

As always, use opportunities like these to make the most expensive drink you can.

jill “It’s pretty cold outside though.”

I’m the kind of person that eats ice cream in the winter so I don’t really see a problem with that.

new%20sei “Yeah, but I don’t like hot or warm drinks.”

new%20sei “They make me feel nauseous.”

new%20sei “You know what cheers me up?”

Booze?

jill “What?”

new%20sei “Singing. Hearing people sing helps too.”

That too, I guess.

jill “Do you sing? I mean…did you take singing lessons or something?”

new%20sei “Nope. People have told me my voice is pretty nasty, actually. But they’ve also told me I’m good with the harmonica.”

jill “So you play the harmonica?”

new%20sei “I needed something to do some breathing exercises with, and a harmonica is a lot smaller than a tuba.”

new%20sei%20smiling “And I guess if you practice enough, you become decent.”

Pretty sure this is a universal piece of advice.

jill “That’s something I didn’t expect.”

new%20sei%20smiling “I hear that a lot. I know I don’t look like the musical type.”

jill “I used to play the violin. Right until I was…16 or so.”

new%20sei “Really? Can you still play?”

jill ”Fuck no.”

jill “The violin’s at my mom’s house, so I don’t have it with me.”

jill “But I guess I could. It’s one of those things you don’t forget easily.”

new%20sei “Why did you stop?”

jill “I don’t know. One day, I just felt like stopping. No deep reason behind it.”

new%20sei “Just like me and cooking!”

Hot take: cooking is great and you should learn to how to cook if you can.

new%20sei “That…and almost burning my place up.”

While attempting to make a bowl of cereal, I’d imagine.

jill “…”

jill “When’s Stella coming?”

new%20sei “Now that you mention it, she’s a bit late. Let me call her.”

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