Where At Least One Person Knows Your Name - Let's Play VA-11 HALL-A!



Now that we’ve finished what might be one of the most boring parts of an already bad game, it’s time to get back into the swing of things…well, after we read the news and buy yet another mandatory thing. Personally, I don’t get that particular mechanic, because the only way you’re gonna be short on money is if you’re really, really, REALLY bad at the game or just want to torture yourself.

Media is still awfully quiet about it.

Augmented Eye talked about it but very briefly.

Maybe someone lost their job due to that one rogue article.

It was from Kim, she’s always trying to write serious shit but I think AE got tired of her.

Fucking shame.

So all we’ll get is clickbait from now on.

Gonna get worse at the very least.

White Knights say there’s a lot of people inside the building, at least three people already dead.

How is someone there shooting people?

Looks like it was the security from the building but I’ve got no details yet. Sounds weird as fuck.

Come on insider anon, you gotta give us more.

Doing my best here!

Thanks based anon.

This thread is closed


And media still quiet about it.

Can confirm there’s an explosion, but it looks like it was just one of them.

So there’s more bombs? not just one?

That’s right.

Do we have any clue on who’s doing this?

I’m hearing from several sources that this is a group, a new one, looking to overthrow the government.

No names have been mentioned, and it looks like it’s not a group, but just one person who set up all this.

That’s pretty ballsy.

And this is just a rumour around here, but Alice_Rabbit might be involved.


A hacker is helping out hostages to escape, and they’re suspecting of Alice.

Huh, someone doing stupid shit on the internet is being actually useful!

This thread is closed

Can confirm the situation has finally reached its end. The attacker was shot dead but a HUGE amount of data was released from servers all around the world. Remember the leaks from Alice? those were nothing compared to this. Proof of corruption, money laundering, espionage; it’s actually pretty unsettling.


The file is available from approximately 60000 sources, terabytes that contain all operations from the Glitch City government and White Knight operations. It seems the ultimate goal from the attacker was not to blow up the bank, but lead hostages towards servers inside of the bank, which had the files under several layers of physical security.

That shit sounds whack, how do you even make a plan this complex?

No idea, but that’s what some of the witnesses are telling the police.

OK it looks like I have to leave, but I’ll try to write down all the details for a future post. Gonna need some time though…

godspeed anon, thanks.

This thread is closed

This game’s politics are akin to that of a teenager who just discovered what Anonymous is, except they never, ever went beyond that.

Famous hacker Alice_Rabbit “graced” the popular image board danger/u/ with a new threat, which resulted in the arrest of the site’s admin (known as Ferfer) for a second time.

”We have no details to give, other than that he was arrested as part of an ongoing investigation,” Cyber Crime Unit’s Lisette Blanc told The Augmented Eye during a call. “We are now busy tracking down the message that appeared yesterday.”

When inquired about the arrest, Ferfer would only respond with a calm “Not this sh*t again…”

If underwear you can change with a voice command was something you really wanted in your life, NANOCAMO has you covered!

Already providing consumer versions of their advanced nanomachine fabric, they plan to release a line of underwear that can change its look with a spoken word. No more stains in your white panties! Just change its color to black and you will barely notice.

That won’t change the smell, though. They’re not that advanced.

”We expect an increase in sales next year thanks to this innovative product,” a PR representative told The Augmented Eye. “I’m already using them. Super comfy, if you ask me.”

The blood feud between Giant Yusuke and 66 American Kid will reach its climax this January 4th at the annual GSF dome event. But it’s not the only match of the night!

Other interesting bouts feature great workers such as The Great DK and Arrence. Full card below.

66 American Kid vs Giant Yusuke (GSF Championship)

Red Comet Jr. vs NAGISA (Women’s Championship)

AKITO vs The Great DK

Roy Campbell vs Arrence (GSF Jr. Championship)

Jack Bomb and Blaze vs Hooli and Cara Coltá (Tag Team Championship)

OSUNA vs Siegfried

gil “I have a copy of the key, remembe-…”

gil%20exasperated “Wait, that’s how you greet me after so many days?!”

It’s what you deserve, Gil.

dana%20regular “I never doubted you’d be fine.”

dana%20regular “If anything, I’d have to cut your paycheck for leaving for so many days without notice.”

gil%20exasperated “…”

dana%20regular “See, Jill? “He’ll be there on Monday like nothing ever happened.””

jill “Wait, why does he have a copy of the key and I don’t?”

Because Gil doesn’t take creepshots?

dana%20regular “The need for you having a key never arose.”

That too, I guess.

jill “True…”

dana%20regular “Anyway. Glad you’re fine Gil.”

gil%20exasperated “Thanks. I guess…”

jill “…”

Drinking game: take a shot every time a character says “…” or “I see.”

gil “What? Are you gonna make me wash the bathrooms again?”

jill “Not today.”

jill “Listen, I don’t know who the hell you really are or what’s trying to come back to bite you in the ass.”

jill “But remember there are people that actually care about you. Don’t just leave like you did.”

jill “Especially after all hell broke loose. At least give us a sign that you’re still alive.”

gil “So you were worried?”

jill “Isn’t that normal?”

gil%20slight%20smirk “When it comes to you, I don’t know.”

jill “Shut up.”

dana%20regular “She’s right, though. You shouldn’t make ladies worry so much.”

Eternal life advice right there.

dana%20regular “Check if the cats didn’t move the internet antenna, would you?”

dana%20regular “Because it’s yours?”

jill “But I told you you could keep it.”

dana%20blushing “Sorry, I…couldn’t find it in myself to take it.”

jill “Why?”

dana%20regular “Partly because I didn’t feel right taking it.”

dana%20regular “But mostly because I thought you’d totally look cute with it.”

jill “I-I see…”

Take a shot.

dana%20regular “Don’t think I’m rejecting a gift of yours, it’s just…”

dana%20regular “Preserving cuteness is one of my principles.”

Along with suplexing people, I assume.

jill “R-Right…”

dana%20regular “Are you still worried about the whole bar closure thing?”

jill “Of course I am.”

jill “Not like I can’t work because of it, but you know…”

dana%20regular “All we can do is enjoy whatever time we have left here as best we can.”

jill “Yeah…”

dana%20regular “So, cheer up! Clients smell sadness and fear, and we don’t want that.”

Clients: the deadliest predator in the animal kingdom.

jill “Okay.”

jill “Not really, no.”

jill “Anyways, let’s start the day.”

jill “Time to mix drinks and change lives.”

jill “Oh yeah, Gil?”

gil “Hm?”

jill “Glad to see you’re fine. I mean it.”

jill “May I have your name?”

brian “Tell her it’s Brian.”

Meet the most unremarkable character in the entire game. I legit don’t know why he exists.

jill “Just a sec.”


dana%20regular “TELL HIM I’LL BE THERE IN A BIT!!”

jill “She’ll…um…you heard her.”

brian “It’s alright. I’ll wait.”

jill “It’s weird for someone to come asking for her though.”

brian “It’s not so weird when you’re BTC’s Regional Manager in these parts.”

jill “Yeah, I guess that’s…”

jill “…”

Yet another shot.

jill “…um.”

jill “I guess I didn’t give you the best first impression.”

brian “Haha! Don’t worry, I know who I’m dealing with.”

brian “I’m not a fan of people treating me too nicely because of my position anyways.”

brian “Handle me like I’m just another client.”

jill “A-Alright. I can do that.”

jill “What can I get you, Mr. Brian?”

brian “Let’s go with the basics. A Sugar Rush, please.”

jill “Coming right up.”

brian “Yeah. this one’s nice.”

jill “Back in training, they made a big deal out of Sugar Rushes. Why?”

brian “They’re like the Fried Eggs of mixing drinks.”

Brian must be working as a games journalist on the side with a simile like that.

brian “They’re the most basic thing, but people can still mess them up.”

brian “Sugar Rushes are simple enough that you only need to follow instructions.”

brian “If you can’t even do that, your future as a bartender is not bright.”

jill “Huh…they never told me that.”

brian “You’re Jill, right?”

jill “Yup, that’s me.”

brian “Dana has talked quite a bit about you.”

Mostly about the whole stalking thing, I’d assume.

jill “Really?”

brian “And I guess you must have a few questions for me, am I right?”

jill “…”

I really should make a counter, huh.

brian “Mostly concerning the closure warning Valhalla got.”

jill “Can you disclose any information?”

brian “I shouldn’t, but you have the right to know.”

jill “Thanks.”

brian “Don’t mention it. Now where to start…”

brian “You saw the news on the information leaked during the Apollo Trust Bank incident, right?”

Does “reading about it on an image board” count?

jill “About the White Knights having lots of members from criminal organizations in their ranks?”

brian “Turns out the White Knights weren’t the only ones with shady people.”

brian “Some of those same folks have been trying to elude legal problems using BTC-certified bars.”

brian “The BTC bars have their own protocols, meaning the White Knights can’t dig too deeply…”

brian “…at least, not without going through a ton of paperwork first, giving the criminals time to cover their tracks.”

brian “Although it takes a bit of time to set up, it has apparently proven an effective method for money laundering.”

To be fair, most eating establishments that double as fronts for criminal activities tend to be really, really good.

jill “Where does Valhalla come in?”

brian “”Young” bars are the ones under the radar right now, and the modest-to-low income ones are the primary suspects.”

brian “It’s not just Valhalla. Any small bar with small income is being investigated heavily right now.”

jill “So the closure notice is due to low sales…”

brian “Among the reasons a bar can get axed, low sales is the rarest one.”

brian “If low sales were a problem, lots of bars would close every year.”

jill “…”

jill “”You’ll find out soon enough” huh…”

brian “Sorry?”

jill “Oh, nothing. Don’t mind me.”

jill “Seems your guess was spot-on, Gil.”

gil “Hm?”

brian “If it helps, I’m doing my best to appeal in your place.”

jill “Really? Why?”

brian “Most of Glitch City’s bars are a pain in the ass. They constantly give reports of chemical damage or shady drinks.”

brian “This is one of the few places from which I almost never receive complaints.”

I shudder to think what the clientele of the other bars must be like.

brian “The closest thing to a recent complaint was that whole Farmers Fabrics affair from a little while ago.”

jill “So much saliva…”

brian “I wouldn’t get my hopes up though.”

brian “Especially since the BTC will try to save face by axing as many suspects as possible.”

jill “Knowing you’re making an effort is enough. Thanks.”

jill “Can I get you anything else?”

brian “Now that I remember, the recipe book has a drink created here, right?”

jill “Oh yeah, the Suplex.”

brian “Get me one of those, please.”

jill “Sure.”

brian “The registry form says this was an accident while making a Piledriver.”

jill “You can ask the creator of the drink just over there.”

brian “Ah, so you’re Robert.”

gil “Yes! That’s my name. I’m Robert, the one and only.”

jill “…”

Ellipses counter: 6

brian “Jill called you “Gil” though.”

jill “Uh…it’s Argentinian slang.”

jill “R-Robert here is from Argentina, so we call him Gil.”

brian “Huh…I see.”

”I see” counter: 2

jill “…”

gil “…”

The Ellipses counter is broken.

dana%20regular “Sorry Brian, I was sorting some stuff at the office. Please come in.”

brian “I’ll be right there.”

brian “Any other questions, Jill?”

jill “Not really, no.”

jill “Although…”

brian “Yeah?”

jill “If you were to evaluate my performance right now, how would you rate me?”

brian “Clean and timely delivery of the correct orders. A top-notch bartender.”

jill “Thanks.”

gil “I’m surprised you haven’t met him before.”

jill “I received my training in another city. The regional supervisor there was some girl with a red mohawk.”

gil “Ah, I see.”

jill (“I wonder what Boss will talk to Brian about…”)

stella “Um…Jill, was it?”

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill “Are you okay?”

stella%20annoyed “Yeah…um…just call me Stella. And get me a big Beer, please.”

jill “Huh… Sure, on it.”

jill “A-Are you sure you’re fine?”

stella%20annoyed “…um.”

stella “You know Sei, right?”

jill “Of course, what’s up with her?”

stella “She was at the Apollo Trust Bank during that whole affair and…”

jill “Oh.”

jill (“Right…that.”)

jill “So she…?”

stella%20annoyed “She didn’t show up on the list of the massive body count in the aftermath, so…”

stella%20annoyed “I was hoping that maybe you’ve seen her.”

jill “As much as I’d love to say that I had…”

jill “…”

stella%20annoyed “Yeah, I figured as much.”

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill “…”

jill (“Man, the air is suddenly a lot heavier.”)

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill (“I mean, I could tell her that everything will be alright, but that would sound a bit…condescending.”)

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill (“sigh What does one do in this kind of situation?”)

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill (“Maybe a joke? Nah, that’d be tasteless.”)

Plenty of tasteless jokes have been made already.

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill (“Okay, just…try and say anything. At the very least, you’ll break the tension.”)

jill (“Maybe distracting her will be enough?”)

jill (“I don’t think clearly when under this kind of pressure, do I?”)

I don’t think you think clearly under regular circumstances, Jill.

jill “Uh…there was a private eye here the other day.”

stella%20shocked “EYE?!”

stella%20annoyed “…sorry, I’m a bit on edge.”

stella “A private detective, I take it?”

jill “Yeah. Maybe you’ll want his services?”

stella “What’s his name?”

jill “I believe it was Art…Van, no. Von Delay.”

I still don’t know why George Costanza’s alter ego is a character in this game.

stella “Oh, that Art guy. Yeah, I actually hired him yesterday to look for Sei.”

jill “So you still have hope.”

stella “I’m somewhere between Bargaining and Depression right now. And I’m afraid to let go of Bargaining.”

jill “I see.”

jill “Is he any good?”

stella “He doesn’t look like it, but he’s quite skilled at gathering intel.”

stella “I believe he’ll give me answers about Sei…whatever they might be.”

stella “…”

jill “…”


jill “*sigh Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand so I could solve all my problems with a swing, you know?”

stella%20annoyed “Sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable.”

No one should have to say that in a universe where Dorothy exists.

jill “Oh, sorry. No, it’s not about feeling uncomfortable.”

jill “It’s just…weird. I usually try to say something to my clients when I see them down.”

jill “And right now, I can’t find any words that don’t sound hypocritical, useless, or tasteless.”

But the writers are gonna make you say them anyways, aren’t they?

stella%20annoyed “I’m glad to know you have that much common sense, at least.”

jill “All I can do is get you drinks. Can I get you anything else?”

stella “Something sweet. That’ll help me calm down a bit.”

jill “Gladly.”

Gameplay tip: when given the choice of a wide change of drinks, always go for the most expensive one and embrace the soulless capitalist inside you.

stella “Thanks.”

jill “Seems you really like Sei.”

Almost like you two are really, really gay.

stella%20annoyed “I don’t have brothers or sisters, and my social interactions are usually strictly business.”

stella%20annoyed “So Sei’s more than a friend to me, she’s…she’s…”

Your girlfriend?

stella%20annoyed “…”

jill “Sorry, I brought that topic up at a bad time.”

stellaahem Don’t worry about it.”

stella “As I was saying, she’s more than a friend. She’s my emotional support, she’s someone I can trust wholeheartedly.”

Sounds like the prime platonic gal pal to me.

stella “I’d say she’s like my sister, but siblings usually lack that level of trust.”

stella “I have to deal with high-class pricks of every race and upbringing on a daily basis.”

stella “They use a “business mask” to hide anything they don’t want others to know and I do the same.”

stella “But with Sei I can be myself, I can do whatever I want and vent all my frustrations.”

stella%20annoyed “She’s always been there for me, and now she might need me…”

Oh, just kiss her already and get it over with.

stella%20sad “But here I am, sitting in a bar, making other people do that job because I’m a useless pile of flesh!”

stella%20sad “…”

stella%20annoyed “…sorry about the outburst.”

jill “I’m actually kind of jealous of the level of self-control you’re using here.”

jill “I mean, I’d be a mess in that situation.”

Smells like foreshadowing to me.

jill “Still, would you like some fresh air? I’m gonna take my break and you could use some.”

jill “Well…for a given value of “fresh”.”

stella “I’m fine, thanks.”

jill “Okay then.”

jill “Gil, please service Miss Stella while I take my break.”

That wording makes me…uncomfortable.

gil “Sure, leave it to me.”

Ellipses counter: 20

“I see” counter: 4


jill “I’m ba-…eh?”

art “What would a kid like you know about that, eh?”

stella“I’m just giving you the facts as they are.”

jill “What happened while I was gone?”

gil “Detective guy comes in, Cat Boomer girl greets him. They start talking…”

gil%20exasperated “Everything was okay until the girl mentioned Zaibatsu Corp offhand.”

gil%20exasperated “After that, the guy got riled up and started badmouthing it.”

gil “Oddly enough, he was the only one. She just carried on like it was just a normal conversation.”

Ding ding ding, let’s give a warm welcome to the “I see” counter!

stella“When you get down to it, it has enhanced the quality of life here.”

art “Yeah, if by enhanced, you mean getting yanked around by a shiny new chain around our necks.”

art “Can’t you see that those big companies don’t care about us?”

I’d say it’s a bit more insidious than “not caring”, Art.

art “Why do you think that Glitch City is mockingly called “the guinea pig of the world”?

art “We’re just one big test group for them to use however they want!”

Ah, a libertarian paradise.

art “But then again, I don’t expect a kid to understand how hard it was, let alone a rich kid.”

stella%20annoyed “True, I don’t know. And true, I have a privilege that clouds my judgement.”

That’s putting it lightly.

stella“But can you deny that the meddling of Zaibatsu Corp has brought quite a few benefits?”

art “Like what?”

Looser labor laws, union crackdowns, increased child mortality…

stella“The AI Integration Program they started is making huge advances in the AI department.”

stella“Every day, more and more countries are seeing the benefits of recognizing AIs as citizens.”

art “Yes, but we also hold the AI Reformation Program.”

art “Meaning that we’re also the world’s Lilim prison.”

I assume that’s why we’re stuck with Dorothy?

art “AI went rogue? Transfer it to a delivery drone or ship it to Glitch City.”

art “That murderer is now delivering your pizza.”


stella“Fair point. Although that program HAS proven to have reformed many AIs.”

Rehabilitation tends to work better than straight-up punishment, after all.

stella“They don’t brag about their 88% success rate for nothing.”

jill “Um…”

stella“The city also has a stronger economy?”

The…city that’s also in the midst of an economic crisis? Did the writers seriously get that lazy?

stella“Zaibatsu Corp’s success has made more and more companies bring their products here.”

art “And the gap between classes continues to grow.”

That’s what tends to happen when the bourgeoisie is the ruling class, buddy.

art “More companies just mean more people who will plant their feet on your face.”

stella“But it also means more products are being brought to the lower classes.”

stella“Stores have 20% more brand variety compared to last year.”

But you still won’t be able to afford any of them!

jill “Uh…”

stella“Zaibatsu Corp’s main Medical Research branch has also made lots of discoveries.”

stella“More and more illnesses, previously thought incurable, are being addressed every day.”

I’ll just use this point to inform the readers that Cuba, a socialist country, is one of the leading countries when it comes to healthcare and medicine.

art “It’s amazing, for those who can afford them.”

art “Meanwhile, down here we’re experiencing medicine shortages almost every month.”

stella%20annoyed “You have a point there.”

stella“Oh, but there are also more jobs. All of the companies coming down here need personnel.”

stella“So the unemployment rate has gone down by almost 40% this year.”

Once again, I thought that Glitch City was in the midst of an economic crisis?

art “More jobs? Shut up.”

stella“Am I wrong?”

art “Well, that’s…”

art “…”

art “Hey you! Don’t just sit there. Give me a Zen Star!”

jill “Sure.”

art “God, this is awful.”

stella“It’s your order, though.”

This has been my internal monologue whilst making this LP.

art “I seriously hope you don’t actually believe everything you just said.”

stella“Of course I do, why else would I say it?”

stella%20annoyed “You do bring up something I always fail to remember. All the benefits we’ve gained over time are limited to a few.”

stella%20annoyed “I can talk about advances all I want, but in the end, they’re still a luxury belonging only to a few.”

stella%20annoyed “And even those that can be accessed by everyone are more like an improvement in the bigger picture.”

stella“That doesn’t take away the fact that there have been positive changes.”

Or the fact that those changes could be greater under a just economic system?

stella“Credit where credit’s due, don’t you think?”

jill “That’s… a pretty mature answer.”

Y’know, game, you don’t have to emphasize how Smart you are.

stella“Discussions are a way for two parties to understand each other.”

stella“The only people afraid of discussion are the ones whose points are too fragile to defend against someone.”

Spoken like a debate club champion.

art%20annoyed “Yeah, mature. Whatever.”

stella“I’m gonna take the chance to ask you about that job I gave you yesterday.”

art “I haven’t been able to find much, but I can at least tell you that she wasn’t at the bank when it opened up.”

stella“What does that mean?”

art “Either she left before the whole ordeal started…”

art “…or she managed to escape at some point before the whole thing ended.”

art “All the corpses are accounted for. They only found one totally disfigured, but witnesses identified it.”

art “It wasn’t your friend, that much is for sure.”

stella%20annoyed “…I see.”

jill “Did you call him here?”

stella%20annoyed “No, he just so happened to come here today.”

Fun lore fact: Glitch City has a population of like, 20.

art “The weird part is that the girl did enter the bank. It’s like she…vanished or something.”

stella“I see. Thanks, keep it up.”

jill “Your face brightened a bit.”

stella“Hope is the last thing you lose, I guess.”

stella“If he’s telling the truth, Sei might have found a way out.”

stella“She’s a resourceful girl. She surely did something.”

stella“I think I’ll have another drink. Do you want anything?”

art “Me? Um…”

art “Just get me whatever you order.”

stella“Two Bad Touches, please.”

jillpfft On it.”

stella“I remember this one party I went to. The guy that came up with the name of this drink showed up.”

stella“After people found that one out, they lined up to slap him for whatever reason.”

People need to show some respect to the Bloodhound Gang, damn.

stella“They didn’t seem offended to me though.”

art “Imagine a guy shows up and tells you “I made a classy Bad Touch”, wouldn’t you line up to slap him?”

It was a good song, okay.

stella“Um…are you okay, Jill?”

jill “I’m…f-f-fahahahahahaine…”

Jill agrees with me.

jill “Now that I think of it, did you find that girl you were looking for a week ago, Mr. Von Delay?”

art “Turns out she was at the Apollo Trust Bank all this time. No wonder I couldn’t get in touch with her.”

Jeez, that bank is quite the popular place it seems.


art “Someone paid me to look for Crimson Rose and she happened to be at the…”

art “Um…”


art%20annoyed “I’m trying to avoid mentioning that a dangerous assassin got stuck in the same bank as the girl you’re looking for.”

stella“Oh, don’t worry.”

stella“Besides, the last thing I’m worried about with Sei is people.”

jill “Why’s that?”

stella“Her attitude is usually so laid back and gentle that she has no problem getting people on her side.”

So she’s a shonen protagonist?

stella“And on the off-chance that she has to defend herself…well…”

stella“I once saw her take care of a warbot gone haywire by herself.”

stella“She did need medical care afterwards, but she recovered in no time AND managed to take care of the ‘bot.”

jill “Is she really that good?”

The problem with badass characters in a game like this is that you can only tell us why the character is badass, but you can’t really show it. See also: Dana Zane.

stella“She’s not only really physically fit, she’s also really good with Krav Maga and…”

Pfft, Krav Maga. What a joke.

stella%20shocked “…”

jill “Something wrong?”

stella“No, nothing. I just realized I forgot about all that.”

stella“Sei’s not invincible, but she knows how to take care of herself.”

stella“And like I said, she’s resourceful. She surely found a way out.”

stella%20annoyedsigh I just hope she’s well wherever the hell she is.”

stella%20annoyed “…she owes me an ice cream.”

As previously mentioned, those two are really, really gay.

stella“You want another drink, Mr. Von Delay? It’s on me.”

art “Are you sure?”

stella“Yeah, order away.”

art “Okay then. I’ll have a Piano Man.”

jill “And you, Ms. Stella?”

stella“I’m fine. Get his order.”

art “So this is what drinking something classy without worrying about the price feels like.”

Welcome to the opulent lifestyle of the rich.

art “Alright, I should get going. My contact will arrive at the rendezvous point soon.”

art “I’ll let you know if I find out anything else, Ms. Hoshii.”

stella“Please do.”

jill “You’ve been generous today.”

stella%20smiling “He made my night with his discoveries on Sei’s situation.”

stella%20smiling “I’m not totally over it, but at least I got distracted for a bit.”

art “Well, that’s it for me. Good night, Miss Hoshii.”

stella“Thanks again.”

jill “Please come again.”

jill “Why would I? It’s not like you’re asleep.”

stella%20smiling “Thanks. This place is…soothing.”

What kind of games do you reckon they have at Valhalla?

brian “Alright then. That would be all, Dana.”

brian “Quite a mess, the situation with…um…Robert.”

brian “Right, right…”

brian “Oh! If it isn’t Miss Hoshii herself.”

My lore fact about Glitch City has been confirmed.

stella“Ah, Brian. Fancy meeting you here.”

brian “I didn’t expect to see you here of all places.”

brian “Are you busy? Mind catching up for a bit?”

stella“Sure, no problem.”

stella“Jill, we’ll be sitting over here.”

jill “Let me know if you need anything.”

stella“Will do.”

jill “…”

jill “Um…”

cass “This holophone is an old model, so hanging up is a bit laggy.”

Hey now, it has a download speed of at least 1200 baud.

cass “You can call me Cass by the way.”

jill “I-I’m Jill.”

jill “S-Say…you guys give a lot of liberties to my boss.”

jill “I mean, she gets away with too much stuff.”

I assume it’s because she could suplex them whenever she feels like it.

jill (“It finally hung up.”)

jill “Phew, it’s been quite the day.”

jill “At least the streets are calm today.”

virgilio “I have…wheeze arrived yet again at the cough oh god…at the majestic hall of heroes.”

jill “Calm until now.”

jill “You look winded, Virgilio.”

This is how I feel after climbing like, four flights of stairs, tbh.

virgilio “It’s pronounced Veer-HEE-rio.”

jill “No, I’m pretty sure it’s Virgilio. You said as much the last time you came.”

virgilio%20upset “Pronunciations are a silly thing society imposes on letters.”

virgilio%20upset “They want to be free! They want to be pronounced however they want.”

jill “…”

jill “You look winded, Virgilio.”

virgilio “We are all little toys winded by the cruel hand of fate.”

virgilio “Just stumbling until it decides not to wind us anymore.”

That’s a pretty fatalistic outlook on life.

jill “And yet, you’re the only one in the vicinity hyperventilating.”

virgilio%20peeved “That’s um…I was jogging.”

jill “Dressed like that?”

virgilio%20peeved “I can jog however I want.”

jill “Yes you can.”

jill “What can I get you?”

virgilio “Something fake.”

jill “Of course.”

This is actually his easiest order by far.

virgilio “And this is?”

jill “Totally-not-Beer.”

From the makers of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.

virgilio “Ah, yes, just as fake as I want.”

jill “Say, Virgilio. Where do you work?”

virgilio “I take the noble duties of curator at the Steampunk Museum.”


jill “Really? What do you do?”

virgilio “I study everything that comes and keep it clean for the people that visit the premises.”

virgilio%20peeved “But lately my duties have been hindered by the museum’s owner.”

jill “Really?”

virgilio%20peeved “Yeah, he told me, “Stop touching the exhibits! You’re gonna break them.” The nerve of some people.”

jill “E-Eh?”

virgilio%20peeved “He still fails to realize that I’M the curator there.”

virgilio%20peeved “WIthout me, all those machines would be rustier than they already are.”

jill “…”

Me too, buddy.

virgilio%20peeved “Even the visitors get that I’m the one responsible for those, why can’t the owner realize that too?!”

jill “…yeeeeeeah.”

jill “I bet he treats you like a janitor or something like that.”

virgilio “Exactly!”

virgilio “Okay then. Time for your next challenge, bartender.”

jill “Challenge, he says…”

virgilio “I want purity.”

jill “…”

While I fall for the trap of assuming that Virgilio here wants a Zen Star, it actually doesn’t matter at all what drink you give him.

jill “It’s a drink. It’s free from any human sin. It can do no harm consciously.”

Drinks confirmed free from Original Sin.

virgilio “Ah, yes…beautiful.”


virgilio “Hm?”

virgilio “Hey you, the guy over there.”

gil “Me?”

virgilio “Yes, you. Have we met before?”

Just what is the deal with Gil?

gil “Can’t remember. Maybe?”

virgilio “Yeah, I think…”

virgilio%20peeved “…”

virgilio%20peeved “…NONONONO. We haven’t met. Ever. At all.”

jill “That’s an interesting reaction.”

A normal reaction to realizing Gil exists.

gil “…”

jill “Be careful out there.”


stella“Excuse me, have we met somewhere before?”

virgilio “That face…that eye…”

stella%20shocked “What about my eye, punk?!”

virgilio%20peeved “We haven’t met ever at all. Never, ever, ever ever.”

Forever ever, forever ever?

jill “Did you just scare off a client?”

Can I pay you to do that on a daily basis?

stella%20annoyed “Apparently.”

stella%20smiling “Well. I’m off. Thanks for everything.”

gil “Yup, quite a few clients considering the whole situation.”

jill “So you two actually met before?”

gil “Yeah, you could say that.”

dana%20regular “What? What?”

jill “Gil stuff. Don’t mind it.”

jill “What were you talking about to Brian?”

dana%20regular “Well…”

dana%20regular “We were mostly catching up, to be honest.”

dana%20regular “I hadn’t seen him in a while. I offered him a drink when we met last week.”

dana%20regular “I talked a bit about what to do after the bar closes.”

dana%20regular “Oh! And I tried to…uh…explain the situation with…Robert here.”

dana%20regular “He agreed to help me out with that one when the time comes.”

It’s gonna involve an absurd amount of criminal activities, I assume.

jill “Ah.”

gil “Oh…”

dana%20regular “I was also tuning up the details for the new employee.”

jill “New employee?”

dana%20regular “A part-timer, you’ll meet him tomorrow.”

jill “Oh.”

gil “”Him”? So it’s a guy?”

dana%20regular “An adorable guy, if I do say so myself.”

jill “…”

jill (“…I suddenly have deja vu.”)

This will only really make sense if you’ve played the prologue, but I strongly advise against doing so.

dana%20regular “Are you alright, Jill?”

jill “Y-Yeah.”

jill (“It must be nothing.”)

In Valhalla, it is always something.

”I see” counter: 3

”…” counter: 9


I think I’ll get a pair, just to see what kinda skin I can use with them.

They will nickle and dime with the DLC, there’s no way to use the skin you want.

It’s going to get cracked day one.

Maybe, but I don’t think it will be that fast.

Yeah, I think I’ll just wait until it’s modded for custom skins.

I thought the nanomachine fabric was bad for your health?

No that’s just a meme.

My walls are made of that thing and I’m alright.

Are the walls hacked yet?

I’m going to marry Camotan!

We now have underwear that can change its look… Don’t you just love the future?

I would if they weren’t a bunch of assholes with their business practices.

Then don’t buy the underwear.

I won’t

This thread is closed

For the longest time, the term “Christmas Cake” referred to women aged 26 or above, who are regarded as undesirable – just like a Christmas Cake that ceases being useful after December 25th.

But men around Glitch City developed a sweet tooth.

”Who doesn’t like a mature woman?” Todd, 19, told The Augmented Eye. “They have all the necessary experience already and plus, I’m soooo tired of spoiled, immature girls doing stupid sh*t. I say bring on the hot office ladies!”

Jill, 27, is confused.

”Christmas what? Is that like the opposite of Beefcake?” After discovering the real meaning, she launched into an hour-long rant. “I’ll let you know pencil skirts are the best!”

Don’t you just love casual misogyny?

Sukeban Soft just unveiled a new line of personal computers for the anime enthusiast market. This is after several attempts at appealing to a broader audience with the Uranus game console.

Launch games have been announced as well. They include popular franchises like Monster Girl RPG, Monster Girlfriend, and Monster Companion.

”We’re going for the weeb audience,” said Kiririn51, a Sukeban Soft janitor.

”What’s dignity anymore?”

Sukeban Soft plans to launch the AM TOWNSHIPS sometime next year.

Just because you’re self-aware about being gross doesn’t mean you’ve stopped being gross, guys.

Weapon enthusiasts are freaking out right now over a firmware update that MAKISE Heavy Industries is releasing for its EDKV-186 line of assault rifles.

Full compatibility with NANOCAMO has been announced, allowing civilian models of this weapon the use of nano camouflage, and the option to customize their look for free with the help of the NANOCAMO app.

”We’ve been using NANOCAMO in the battlefield for a year now,” MAKISE’s chairperson told The Augmented Eye during a phone conversation. “And thanks to its flexibility, we can now sneak past the enemies using the environment to our favor. Our equipment is basically invisible with NANOCAMO.”

The NANOCAMO update will be released this month.

Every now and then, I wonder if I’ll ever meet my significant other…all the stimulae from being born just three years ago, and directly being thrown in this wonderful disaster that is the idol industry, makes me think of all the things I’m missing. Accidental love, lost love, or even the gentle touch of another person, I feel like I’m in this bubble that won’t let me catch all possible feelings, and my senses get tired of the same environment.

I want to meet new people, places! Because even though I have a large bank of knowledge, I actually never experimented with what most consider normal.

But you already know that from my songs :slight_smile:

gil “And that cage?”

jill “I…um…brought my cat.”

gil “Your cat?”


Wikipedia tells me that Yasunori Kato is a fictional character created by Hiroshi Aramata, and the protagonist of Teito Monogatari, so…yeah? Talk about a deep cut.

dana%20peeved “Wait…there are no evil Onmyouji here.”

jill “Boss…what the fuck?”

dana%20peeved “Didn’t you say you brought Kato to the bar?”

jill “My cat. CAT!”

dana%20regular “Well, that’s even better! Hey Fore!”

fore “…”

dana%20regular “So cute.”

dana%20regular “Why did you bring him?”

jill “I heard some apartments in my building were being raided.”

jill ”Fore’s my weed carrier, you see.”

jill “I don’t have anything suspicious, but you never know. So I’d rather have him here, at least today.”

dana%20regular “Ah well, I’d say something about the health regulations, but we already had a pack of Corgis here.”

dana%20regular “Do you want me to take care of him in my office? Please?”

jill “Sure…but he’s a bit shy, so…”

jill “And I think she didn’t hear me.”

gil ”I haven’t slept in 10 years, Jill.”

gil “I live close by.”

jill “Really?”

gil “Yup, Chief got me a small apartment nearby. Something about the BTC housing program.”

Is BTC an intentional reference to bitcoin or am I just reading too much into things?

jill “Oh yeah, I got mine through that too…”

jill “Time to mix drinks and change lives.”

jill “…”

rad%20shiba “Um…lady, did you hear me?”

jill “A dog. ANOTHER dog.”

rad%20shiba “Hey! I’m not just another dog, I came here as a part-timer!”

jill “So you’re the part-timer.”

rad%20shiba “Yeah!”

jill “…”

jill “Boss! I’m taking my break!”

dana%20regular “It’s too early!”

jill “Shit.”

jillsigh The part-timer is here!”

dana%20regular “Huh, he came early.”

Dogs are cute, Jill.

dana%20regular “Because look at him! He has a Hawaiian shirt! And sunglasses!”

See? Dana here knows what’s up.

dana%20peeved “And he’s a Shiba, not a Corgi. I don’t know what you’re complaining about.”

jill (“They all look the same to me.”)

Almost like the devs didn’t have time to make two separate sprites so they just used the same one for Shibas and Corgis.

dana%20peeved “Granted, Shibas could be seen as the Japanese counterpart to Corgis.”

dana%20peeved “They’re both funny-looking and dogs used by the royalty.”

dana%20regular “Anyways. Starting today, this dog will help around here.”

rad%20shiba “My name is…”

Urge to make a bad, bad reference suppressed.


The part of Dana Zane is portrayed by Dwayne Johnson.

jill “…Boss, please don’t shout.”

jill ”Don’t reference 70 year old television either.”

dana%20blushing “Sorry.”

dana%20regular “Just call him Rad Shiba.”

jill “Why Rad Shiba?”

dana%20peeved “What part of Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses don’t you get? He’s the raddest thing here!”

rad%20shiba “Thanks!”

dana%20regular “Anyways, he will mostly help getting orders, bringing clients in and cleaning, but he ought to know how things work.”

gil “Cleaning? That’d be a change of pace.”

How many people have done this thing with Jill so far? Like, two?

jill “Um…right.”

rad%20shiba “I’ll have a Grizzly Temple.”

jill “…”

rad%20shiba “Are you okay?”

jill “Yeah, just a couple of post-traumatic flashbacks.”

jill “Coming right up.”

rad%20shiba “Wow! This is awful!”

rad%20shiba “People actually pay for this shit?”

I could make a meta joke, but I already did that, so I won’t.

jill “Hard to believe, I know.”

jill “So…what brings a dog like you to taking a part-time job here?”

rad%20shiba “I’m here to help the funding of my organization.”

jill “Are you with the Seifar Toy Company?”

rad%20shiba “What? No! Don’t lump me in with those Herding Supremacists.”

Because what this game needed was racist Corgis.

rad%20shiba “I have a more noble and benign organization. I belong to CIRA.”

jill “CIRA?”

rad%20shiba “Canine Independent Rescue Association.”

rad%20shiba “We give a place where dogs can be dogs and save them from themselves.”

Rescuing dogs from the horrors of modernity.

rad%20shiba “CIRA is what I love, but, damn is it expensive sometimes.”

rad%20shiba “We decided to take part-time jobs to help fund anything it needs.”

rad%20shiba “We want to help CIRA be the best it can be.”

rad%20shiba ”Mostly that just means buying chew toys.”

jill “What do you do at CIRA?”

rad%20shiba “Pay treatment for hurt dogs, give food to the hungry ones, play with the bored ones…”

rad%20shiba “We’re there for everyone.”

jill “Huh…that actually sounds nice.”

rad%20shiba “Say, do you have a menu?”

Is it called a menu if it only has drinks? Genuine question.

jill “Something like that, yeah. Here.”

rad%20shiba “Now, let’s see…”

rad%20shiba “Any recommendations?”

jill “Avoid the part with “Promo” drinks.”

rad%20shiba “Oh, the Grizzly Temple is one of those.”

rad%20shiba “Fluffy Dream? I like the sound of this one.”

jill “Coming right up.”

rad%20shiba “Well, this one’s nice.”

jill “So, why did you pick a bar?”

rad%20shiba “It seemed fun.”

rad%20shiba “I didn’t need that many weird skills to be part of this so it was my best bet.”

rad%20shiba “Besides, it’s close to home, so I can get here by walking.”

rad%20shiba “And I do love me some walks. I could walk all day!”

jill “Weird skills?”

rad%20shiba “Yeah, stuff like “food handler’s certificate”, “previous work experience”, or “thumbs”.”

jill “…”

rad%20shiba “Why did you pick a bar?”

jill ”Cheap booze.”

jill “Um… On a whim too, I guess.”

jill “I wanted a place where I could see people come and go all the time.”

jill “And bartending sounded a bit more glamorous than just being a store clerk.”

I know a convenience store where the local high school kids just started stealing like, cabbages and shit. Ended up having to install cameras.

rad%20shiba “Oh yeah. About the way you mix stuff.”

jill “Yeah?”

rad%20shiba “Is it-…hey…”

rad%20shiba “It’s a cat! A cat!”

jill “Hey Fore, weren’t you in Boss’ office?”

rad%20shiba “Hello cat! Wanna play? Let’s play!”

fore “…”

jill “Didn’t dogs hate cats or something?”

rad%20shiba “We don’t hate them - unless they’re intruders.”

jill “Huh…”

rad%20shiba “You said his name was Fore? Hello Fore! Let’s play!”

Pretty sure this is the second foreplay joke they’ve made?

fore “…”

jill “No playing allowed, you’ll make a mess. Fore, go back to Boss’ office.”

fore “Meow.”

rad%20shiba “That’s one obedient cat.”

Meanwhile, my cat is pure chaotic evil.

jill “My pride.”

jill “You want something else?”

gil “Eh?”

jill “Alright.”

jill sigh (“I shouldn’t get riled up so easily by dogs, but…I’m just tired, I guess.”)

sei “Hello Jill!”

jill “Eh?! T-That voice…”

jill “W-What happened to you?!”

new%20sei%20smiling “Nice seeing you too!”

new%20sei “Well, I fell from a really tall place to a really rough spot.”

That’s…one way to put it.

jill “Are you okay? Do you need an ambulance or something?”

new%20sei “I just got out of one, don’t worry.”

jill “How did you manage to slip by the mobs lynching White Knights?”

new%20sei%20smiling ”I killed them all!”

new%20sei “It was a bit rough. Luckily these bandages helped me conceal my identity! Heheh…”

You wouldn’t believe how many cerulean-haired girls there are in Glitch City.

jill “Why come straight here?”

new%20sei ”To get wasted.”

new%20sei “I…”

new%20sei “The ambulance where I got treatment couldn’t stray too far away from the hospital.”

new%20sei%20smiling “They’re nice people, I’ve talked to them a lot while on rescue duties.”

new%20sei%20smiling “I was nearby and yours was the closest friendly face I could find.”

new%20sei%20smiling “I needed to regain my composure before doing anything else, so…here I am.”

new%20sei%20blushing “Um…if you’re scared because they might come for me I can leave, you know?”

jill “The security systems of the bar are top-notch, and my boss is also the bouncer of sorts here.”

The security systems are just Dana.

jill “I’d say you’re actually safer here. So I’m not worried about me.”

jill “Instead I’m…worried about you.”

I’m pretty sure that even in this state she could suplex a train.

jill “First I hear you were at the bank, then I find out you “disappeared”.”

jill “And now you show up with all those bandages.”

jill “Are you fine? What happened at that bank exactly?”

jill “Did you talk with Stella? She was worried sick about you!”

new%20sei%20in%20pain “Slow… Slow down a bit… The medications make me feel everything more intensely, almost like a hangover.”
jill “S-Sorry.”

Turns out giant blocks of text are bad for the brain.

new%20sei “It’s nice to know someone like a bartender was worried about me though. Thanks.”

Pretty sure bartenders have feelings just like everyone else, Sei.

new%20sei “Everyone I know has been ignoring me, so I was feeling lonely.”

jill “Why would they?”

new%20sei “Well, you’ve seen the lynches they give to any White Knight they find.”

The Glitch City opposition are a very…unique bunch.

new%20sei “By ignoring me, they’re actually saving me from getting kicked to death.”

new%20sei “My good deeds finally paid off, I guess…heheh…”

jill “Can I get you anything?”

new%20sei ”Get me ten Jägerbombs.”

new%20sei “Um…something sweet without alcohol.”

new%20sei “Thank god these pants still had my wallet in them.”

They started making womens’ pants with pockets? Wild.

jill “Oh no, I couldn’t take your money right now. It’s on the-…”

new%20sei “Jill, please. I wanna pay for my drinks.”

jill “I take it I won’t be able to change your mind.”

new%20sei “Nope. I mean yes. I mean… You won’t be able to change my mind.”

jill “…sweet and no alcohol, right? Coming right up.”

new%20sei%20smiling “Yay! This’ll help me calm down a bit.”

jill “So, what happened to you? Where did you fall from?”

…a building?

new%20sei “I was escaping the place near the end of the whole thing, and I had to make a leap of faith.”

new%20sei “I’ve jumped from higher places, but I landed badly here.”

new%20sei “Most of my injuries are actually from some debris that fell on me.”

new%20sei “Oh, but my broken arm is actually from the fall.”

jill “How?”

new%20sei “I rolled to mitigate the fall, but I made a bad move and broke it.”

new%20sei%20smiling “Good thing I drink lots of milk!”

jill “…”

Same, Jill, same.

new%20sei “I was under rubble for quite a bit, but luckily someone found me.”

jill “”Someone”?”

Jill seems to be asking a lot of dumb questions today, for some reason?

new%20sei “I woke up in the hospital, they told me some guy brought me there.”

new%20sei “I don’t know who he was, but I owe him my life.”

jill “…”

new%20sei “W-What?”

jill “N-Nothing, you just sound um…cheerful.”

jill ”Also that’s the second time a complete stranger saved your life.”

new%20sei%20smiling “I’m alive! Why wouldn’t I be?”

new%20sei%20smiling “After all that happened at the bank, here I am, talking to you. Being able to talk at all.”

I’m pretty sure that Valhalla is actually Purgatory, so I dunno why you’re so happy.

jill “…”

new%20sei%20in%20pain “Don’t think too much about it. I’m fine! I’m totally fi-owowowowowow…”

jill “…”

new%20sei%20blushing “Eh…um…”

new%20sei%20blushing “H-How were things around here? I heard there was a huge commotion when the whole thing happened.”

jill “I had to sleep here in the bar on Saturday, but I guess it could’ve been worse.”

jill ”I mean, I could’ve been stuck on a terrace, forced to make small talk with my boss. Wait…”

new%20sei “Glad to know that.”

jill “Did you contact Stella? She was on the verge of despair yesterday.”

new%20sei%20sad “Eh…um…”

new%20sei%20blushing “H-Hey Jill! I want another drink! A…uh…um…a Bleeding Jane!”

jill “…”

What you actually have to do here is get her a Blue Fairy. The game will occasionally throw curveballs like this, and the correct choice usually relies on remembering a character’s favorite drinks, and other similar things.

new%20sei “Phew…”

new%20sei “Thanks!”

jill “Yeah…”

jill “So, how were things inside the bank?”

Violent, I’d imagine.

new%20sei%20in%20paincough cough Come again?”

jill “What happened inside the bank? How did you manage to get through it?”

new%20sei%20blushing “Um…I was with this nice bunch of people. Well…they were apparently nice at the very least.”

new%20sei “We tried our best to find our way out of the whole thing, cracking through the security, finding safe spots.”

new%20sei ”In the end, it turned out it was just an elaborate Room Escape challenge!”

new%20sei%20sad “But then…”

new%20sei%20sad “Um…”

new%20sei%20sad “…”

jill “Sorry for asking all that, it was obviously over the line.”

new%20sei%20blushing “N-No, don’t worry about it. It’s just the analgesics still numbing me.”

new%20sei “I’ll take my leave now. Thank you for everything, Jill.”

jill “Are you alright?”

Does she seem alright to you?

jill “…”


jill “Eh? Weren’t you leaving?”

new%20sei%20sad “Yeah, I was, but…well…”

new%20sei%20sad “You know how I just said I was fine?”

She was not.

jill “Yeah?”

new%20sei%20sad “I-I’m not.”

new%20sei%20sad “So I wanted to know if you could lend me your ear for a bit.”

jill “Well, I was gonna take my break…”

new%20sei%20blushing “Oh sorry…”

jill “No, what I mean is that I could lend you an ear if you don’t mind going to the back alley for a bit.”

Nothing at all suspicious about back alleys.

new%20sei%20blushing “Y-Yeah, please…”

That’s the end of this segment and somehow…no one has said “I see.” at all. Talk about a shocker!


The truest horror of this future dystopia is that humans have given dogs the gift of racism.

Also I have no idea what the fuck Dana means that both breeds are used by royalty. If she’s talking about the real-life Queen of England loving corgis, it’s a stretch to say she “uses” them. Corgis are herders, they’re a working class breed. I don’t think Her Extremely Old And Creaky Royal Majesty is going to be running around after sheep anytime soon. I’d pay money to see it though.


“Haha, weebs, am I right? Anyway, here’s this character who’s a sex worker android who looks like a child. We didn’t have to include her, but we did.”


Best part is they’re trying to posit this as a healthy outlet for pedophilia as though that’s not a blaringly obvious admission of guilt.


new%20sei “Sorry, I haven’t smoked since high school.”

new%20sei “But don’t mind me though. Smoke ahead.”

jill “So…why me?”

new%20sei ”Because you’re the protagonist of this game.”

new%20sei “You’re the closest friend I have nearby that isn’t avoiding me and…I think I’m about to explode.”

This is just like Ground Zeroes all over again.

jill “Why?”

new%20sei “B-B-Because I’m afraid! I’m terrified! I’m scared!”

new%20sei “My colonel was using me when I made that errand, he saw me as a disposable pawn!”

new%20sei “Then the whole thing got closed at the bank.”

new%20sei “We were stuck there with no food or water for three days!”

new%20sei “I-I saw a man be beaten to death after he found some snack in his pocket…that…that…”

And that’s the day they finally changed the Klondike bar jingle.

new%20sei “I…I…”

jill “…”

new%20sei “When I was in rescue duties I usually dealt with collapsing buildings, fire, that kind of stuff.”

new%20sei “B-But seeing people do that to other people is just…”

new%20sei “I…sniff I…”

jill “Calm down, nobody will hurt you here.”

new%20sei “You sure?”

jill “I’ll make sure of it, just…take deep breaths.”

new%20sei “…”

jill “I can’t even imagine what happened there. And truth be told, I don’t want to imagine it.”

jill “But it’s easy to tell you bottled up everything while you were there.”

new%20sei “Is it obvious?”

jill ”Girl, you are an open book.”

jill “Kinda.”

new%20sei “Well, I had to get outta there. Fear would’ve only gotten in the way.”

new%20sei “And besides, I made a promise to come back to…”

new%20sei “Err…”

jill “Alright, what’s the deal with Stella?”

Subtext that might as well be text.

new%20sei “Nothing, I’m just…”

jill ”In denial?”

jill “Afraid?”

new%20sei “The word loses meaning after using it so much in so little time.”

new%20sei “She should’ve been worried sick, and I couldn’t call her after I came back. I’m afraid of what she will say.”

jill “She will insult you, she looks like that kind of girl.”

jill “But I’m betting all I have that she will be quickly happy that you’re fine and alive.”

new%20sei “Yeah…you’re right.”

jill “Think about it this way: a slap or despair for what’s left of her life.”

new%20sei “I wouldn’t pretend to disappear, I mean…”

jill “Besides, from what you tell me you’re pretty much only coming to your senses today, right?”

new%20sei “Yeah.”

new%20sei “It’s weird how everything change in such a short notice, you know?”

new%20sei “Get flipped turned upside down…”

new%20sei “On Thursday I was a girl doing her duties minding only her own business.”

new%20sei “Now I’m injured and woke up to find out I can’t go back to those duties.”

new%20sei “Part of me is happy, I knew full well White Knights usually did more harm than good.”

new%20sei “On the other hand, I really loved my job. Now I’m stuck with nothing to do.”

jill “Yeah, I know how that is. The life changing on such short notice part, I mean.”

new%20sei “Really?”

jill “I would tell you why I know that, but I think you should go see Stella right now.”

jill ”That, and I need to keep my backstory secret until the convenient moment arrives.”

new%20sei “Yeah, you’re right.”

jill “Speaking of which… Hey Gil!”

gil “What?”

jill “Do me a favor and escort Sei to…wherever she needs to go, please.”

gil “Only if you cover my share of the work.”

jill “Yeah, yeah…”

gil “Okay then. Let’s go Miss.”

new%20sei “R-Right!”

new%20sei “Thank you for hearing me out, Jill!”

jill “Anytime.”

jillwhew Hope everything goes alright.”

jill “Ah, hey Jamie.”

It’s everyone’s favorite Adam Jensen knockoff!

jill “Um… Jamie…”

jamie “Ah Jill. Gillian isn’t here I see.”

jill “Are you alright? You look distracted.”

jamie%20embarrassed “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

jill “If you say so.”

dana%20regular “Jiiiiiiiill! Where do I take Fore if he needs to use the bathroom?”

jill “The cage has a small litter box included!”

Just how big is that cage…or how small is that litter box?

dana%20regular “Oooooh, that’s convenient!”

jamie “Fore?”

jill “Fore’s my cat. Some apartments in my building are being inspected today…”

jill “So I brought him to work in case they enter my place while I’m gone.”

jamie “Ah, I see.”

jill “What can I get you?”

jamie “The usual Gut Punch.”

jill “Coming right up.”

jamie “I thought when someone ordered a Gut Punch, you had to make a joke…”

jamie “…about giving the client a punch to the stomach or something.”

jill “Oh, that? In theory, yeah. Gil’s the only one that pays attention to that though.”

jamie “Really?”

jill “He didn’t receive proper training, he read an old manual my boss had.”

jill “There WAS some sort of stipulation mentioning the need to say puns.”

jill “But it seems like it was some sort of anti-counterfeit measure.”

Like those old Lucasarts games, but for booze? Sounds a bit excessive.

jill “I mean, if they copied such a silly stipulation, they’d be caught in the act.”

jamie “Like when the dictionaries added fake words to spot if someone else just copied all of it?”

Wait, was that an actual thing or is the game making an actual goof here?

jill “Yup.”

jamie “Why not tell him that?”

jill “It’s too amusing, to be honest.”

jill “So, what’s on your mind that’s distracting you so much?”

jamie “Nothing you should think about too much.”

jamie “It’s like those times you just feel uneasy for no good reason.”

jill “You might have actual reasons to feel that way though.”

jill “Come to think of it, “mercenary” is quite the uncommon occupation, wouldn’t you say?”

jamie “I like to see what I do as bounty hunting actually.”

God, Jamie’s probably one of those people that actually think Boba Fett is cool.

jill “How so?”

jamie “The only jobs I don’t take are those where I have to deal with people who just happened to be in the wrong place.”

jamie “There are some people willing to pay to off someone that has done no wrong.”

Huge if true.

jamie “Things like killing someone that owns a house in the way of some building, or a nosy reporter.”

jamie “I’m not better for turning a blind eye to such requests, but I’m not gonna be the one dealing with those.”

jill “The bounty hunter part comes where?”

Getting to wear cool shit, I assume.

jamie “If I’m sent to kill someone that has done something like stealing or killing and I get paid for it…”

jamie “You could see it as bounty hunting.”

jill “Yeah, I guess.”

Technicalities are extremely badass.

jamie%20sideways%20look “It’s just cheap justifications for killing people though. In the end they’re cheap.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “However, I won’t be one to kill for petty reasons like those.”

jamie “But let’s change the subject here. I’ll have something bitter if you don’t mind.”

jill “Huh? Sure.”

As always, when presented with a broad choice, go for the most expensive option.

jamie “Ah yes…”

jill “You just reminded me of my grandpa.”

jill “He used to eat Bronson roots everyday. He said they made him stronger.”

jamie “Bronson roots have more nutrients per gram than most vitamin supplements.”

jamie “Your grandpa knew what he was doing.”

jamie%20sideways%20look “It seems I always manage to make you uncomfortable, Jill. Sorry.”

jill “Ah, no. Don’t worry.”

jill ”All of my friends make me uncomfortable.”

jill “Although I guess it’s mostly because I can’t wrap my mind around the whole “taking a human life” thing.”

jill “Knowing you’ve killed people and are now talking to me here? It’s…weird.”

jill “It reminds me of when I first took sex ed classes.”

jill “I couldn’t wrap my mind around people doing that stuff and living normally.”

jamie “Unlike with sex ed, it’s better that you stay that way, mind you.”

jamie “Taking lives is not something you should get used to.”

jamie “Ah yes, I know a good way to change the subject a bit.”

jamie “Would you like to hear about the most dangerous bounty hunter in the city?”

Ooh, I love stories!

jill “The way you said that was like offering a tale to a bored kid. But yeah, I’d like to hear that one.”

jamie “You see, there was actually a bounty hunter organization in this city not too long ago.”

Now I’m just imagining a union but for bounty hunters.

jamie “Law enforcement would put a price on a dangerous person’s head and pay for the proof of that person’s death.”

jamie “There was a guy called Jet Black James. He got the nickname because he always wore clothes.”

Sounds like a rejected Revengeance villain to me, buuut that’s probably the point.

jamie “The interesting thing was that the black clothes were there to hide blood stains he got from his contracts.”

jamie “His tracking skills were top-notch, his information network was the best.”

jamie “Some even joked he would finish the bounty within half an hour, or he wouldn’t take the reward.”

jamie “…he was too good, in fact.”

jamie “At one point he took all bounties and didn’t take a single reward. He was just that crazy by then.”

jamie “The last bounty that the organization ever posted was on James’ head.”

jamie “The police had him cornered. His last words were “Send it all to my account” before shooting himself.”

jill “Damn…why hasn’t that been made into a movie?”

jill “So…there were no more bounties after that?”

jamie “A registered bounty hunter was charged with many counts of manslaughter using his old targets as proof.”

jamie “If somebody else tried to recreate the organization, the seed of doubt would grow in little to no time.”

jamie “What guarantee is there that such an organization wouldn’t actually be a trap?”

jamie “They could use the registered bounty hunters to take care of the most bothersome criminals…”

jamie “And then dispose of the bounty hunters by pressing charges using their targets as evidence.”

Pretty sure you don’t need to reiterate the point here.

jamie “So…no. Jet Black James made sure that no law enforcement organization is able to set up bounty hunting of any kind.”

jamie “Ever since then, anyone crazy enough to be a bounty hunter works independently.”

jill “Were you part of that organization?”

jamie “I’ve actually had those suspicions I’m telling you about since the day I heard such a thing exists.”

jamie “Glad to know I wasn’t just paranoid.”

jill “I don’t know how well you changed the subject, but that was certainly one interesting story.”

jill “Just to make sure. You’re not a rebuilt Jet Black James or something, right?”

jamie%20embarrassed “The name James is pretty common, Jill.”

jamie “Besides, if I remember correctly, his real name was actually Theodore.”

jill “Oh.”

jamie “That story left my throat a bit dry. Get me a Beer, please.”

jill “Sure.”

jamie “One of mankind’s oldest friends. Cheers.”

jamie “One obvious thing I see is that you don’t take the use of the word “kill” in your stride the way Gillian does.”

jill “I’m not good with violence.”

jamie “That’s good.”

jamie “It’s interesting though. When I compare you two, it’s obvious Gillian has seen quite the share of traumatic stuff.”

Dude could be an immortal demigod for all I know.

jill “That guy’s a handful because of that sometimes.”

jill “Still, he’s one of the most reliable people I’ve ever met.”

jamie “Where is he, by the way?”

jill “I asked him to keep an eye on a girl that came here earlier.”

jill “I feel that if something happened, he could resolve the situation.”

jill “His nose must be itching after we talked so much about him.”

jamie “Yeah, maybe.”

jamie “Well, I’ve got to go.”

jill “Will do.”

jill “Man, today’s been quite heavy.”

jill “Everyone-…”

jill “…wait.”

jill (“If I say it out loud, I feel like I will just tempt fate.”)

jill (“…but let’s try it anyways.”)

jill “Everyone has just been gloomy face after gloomy face…and that dog.”

jill “I sure hope the next client changes that.”


jill “I KNEW IT! Err… I mean…”

jill “Quite the surprise to see you here again, Mr. Ingram.”

ingram “Got out of my job, I needed a drink badly, and I remembered this crackhouse was nearby.”

jill “What can I get you then?”

ingram “I’ll have a Bleeding Jane.”

jill “On it.”

ingram “Tastes just like the pasta sauce my mom used to make.”

ingram “Watered down, artificial, and nasty.”

Is this guy ever happy?

jill “So, where do you work, Mr. Ingram?”

ingram “I don’t have a specific job, but there’s this….well…”network” of engineers in need of assistants.”

ingram “I have no idea what they do there, but I can follow instructions and that’s all they need.”

ingram “Recently I’ve been working with this Sylia girl working on some experimental powered suits.”

_Is this an anime reference? It’s probably an anime reference.”

ingram “My only duty is to give them maintenance once a day.”

jill “What’s that about a “network”?”

ingram “All those nerds know each other and they recommend me.”

ingram “I don’t ask questions and quickly learn whatever they need.”

jill “Huh, sounds nice.”

ingram “It’s pretty monotonous at times though.”

jill ”Buddy, you don’t know the meaning of the word.”

ingram “Why are you giving me that look?”

jill “You’re just more cheerful than the last time you came.”

He is?

ingram “We all have good days and bad days. Today just so happens to be a not-bad day.”

ingram “Besides, with everyone scared shitless in the houses, the streets are clear with no traffic jams.”

That’s…one way to look at it, I guess.

ingram “That’s always a plus.”

jill “I guess.”

ingram “It almost became a bad day though, thanks to some teens on the way here.”

jill “What did they do?”

ingram “It’s not what they did, it’s what they said.”

Grown man brutally owned by children, more news at 11.

ingram “They were talking about how they should just go to Zaibatsu Corp’s HQ and blow it up.”

ingram “I’ve seen one too many kids throwing around that “let’s kill the king” attitude when it comes to Zaibatsu Crap.”

ingram “Even if Zaibatsu Corp’s building suddenly went down, the ones behind it would still be alive.”

ingram “Killing the head honcho just means his or her duties go to the next rimjobber on the totem.”

ingram “Hell, I bet they’re plotting to kill each other anyways.”

ingram “Kids these days see way too many action films where the rebels save the day by killing the “Evil Corporation”.”

I mean…he’s not actually wrong, to be honest. Hollywood movies’ vision of revolution is very much intentionally muddy, vague and individualistic.

jill “Don’t let it get to you.”

ingram “I don’t, I just hate teengars.”

Okay Shadow the Edgehog.

jill “It’s interesting though. A big corporation in control is somehow more dangerous than a regular government.”

Have you met an anarcho-capitalist?

ingram “I wouldn’t know. I’m not a political person.”

jill (“No shit.”)

ingram “Alright. Give me a Zen Star, and try not to mess it up.”

jill “Coming right up.”

ingram “Yes, it’s just as nasty as I’ve heard.”

jill “Why order it then?”

ingram “Not your problem.”

jill “…”

ingram “So, where’s the Red Comet?”

jill “My boss? She…”

dana%20regular “Jill, Fore’s headed your way!”

fore “…”

rad%20shiba “Oh! A customer. Sorry for the intrusion.”

ingram “You have a dog here? And a cat?”

jill “The cat’s mine, his name’s Fore. The dog just…hangs around here.”

He’s a valuable member of the team, Jill.

ingram “He looks well groomed and his fur looks healthy.”

ingram “Seems you take good care of him.”

jill “You seem to know a lot about cats.”

ingram “No, that’s just common sense.”

jill “Do you like cats, Mr. Ingram?”

ingram “I don’t dislike them.”

ingram “But I do dislike having animals near me when I’m eating or drinking.”

ingram “So… I’ll take my leave.”

jill “Please come again.”

jill “You said that last time.”

jill ”Please keep doing that.”

rad%20shiba “Fore’s as guilty as me.”

jill “Yeah, but I like Fore. He’s my baby.”

jill “Now go. Play or something.”

jill “Ah, you’re back. What happened with Sei?”

gil “I couldn’t see anything, but I guess she was happy.”

jill “Glad to hear that.”

gil “Did I miss something?”

jill “Only Jamie and…some other guy came.”

gil “I see.”

gil “You look exhausted.”

jill “Yesterday was filled with people carrying heavy emotional baggage.”

I’m pretty sure that’s just every day.

jill “I don’t mind it, but dealing with them tired me out a little bit.”

jill “I actually found myself wanting Dorothy to burst out of that door at any moment.”

Jill is definitely not okay.

gil%20slight%20smirk “So you missed Dorothy?”

jill “Kinda.”

jill “But anyway! Nothing a good night of sleep can’t fix.”

jill “Let’s just wrap things up around here and call it a day.”

This isn’t super related to what happened just now, but does anyone else feel like the game’s political commentary makes no sense at all? Apparently Glitch City is supposed to be based on Venezuela but not counting the economic crisis that comparison just…doesn’t work. It’s just a generic cyberpunk setting except it’s kinda anime. Bah, whatever, this game’s writing is confused in so many ways.




is anyone else tired of this monster girl meme?



I’m going to marry a monster girl!

I just want actual gameplay next time.

Why would you want gameplay in a Sukeban game?

idk, all I see is pretty girls with nothing to back it up.

any info on the hardware?

It’s probably going to be yet another underpowered piece of shit.

It’s not like the competition is any better.

Meh, I think I’ll just quit gaming. Nothing but trash as of late.

Yeah…remember when games were actually good and devs made them with love and care?

Me neither.

This thread is closed

Once known as the king of sports, soccer is no longer even a shadow of its former self.

After the corruption scandals of the last World Cup, fans have begun drifting towards the theatrical magic of the Pro-Wrestling industry. The latest GSF tournament pulled nearly twenty million viewers from Glitch City alone. As of this moment, fans seem to be vastly favoring pro-wrestling.

”It’s easier to follow something we know is predetermined as opposed to something that PRETENDS to be a legit sport,” said a fan outside the GSF arena.

”People kicking a ball is boring as sh*t, too.”

Something tells me the devs are bitter that football (or soccer, if you prefer) is the most popular sport.

During our weekly interview with Prime Minister QUINCY, he revealed his unusual taste for a certain rare food: fried chicken.

”I know it sounds a bit…rude to say I like something most people don’t have access to, but I just can’t deny my love for it.”

”When you taste a chicken breast like the ones that KENTA make, you just can’t go back!” QUINCY declared to the Augmented Eye.

In other news, QUINCY also expressed his desire to ban instant food, although he later said it was “in jest.”

”I wouldn’t ban instant food since that’s what people in this city like the most, and even though I hate it…no, I wouldn’t ban it.”

The “Waifu Revolution” from the 2010’s is no longer a laughing matter. What started as a trend has since gone out of control since the standardization of VR technologies, which allows people to live full-time inside their computers.

As a result of this craze, it shouldn’t be a huge surprise to know that the popular Monster Girlfriend franchise has become a commercial juggernaut, with millions of copies shipped in Glitch City alone.

Worldwide, the game has shipped nearly 90 million copies since its launch in March, making it a record holder that won’t quit.

Is the “Waifu Age” real? Well, there’s your answer!

I sure am glad that the future will be filled with even more gross fetishes and casual racism, myself.

jill “Is it? You two always make me feel like I’m late.”

dana%20regular “If it helps, that dog isn’t coming until some time later.”

The fact that Rad Shiba is one of the few people that Jill finds annoying is baffling to me, considering what some of the other characters are like.

dana%20regular “Anyway, do you have something planned for Sunday?”

jill “Watch silly Mega Christmas specials with 1000 grams of black fur on my lap. Why?”

Jill is the world’s first NEET that somehow has a job.

dana%20regular “I was thinking about holding a small Mega Christmas party here this Sunday. You in?”

jill “Sure. Why not?”

dana%20regular “Alright!”

dana%20regular “Invite any client you’re acquainted with. The more the merrier.”

jill ”Got a new weed carrier.”

jill “The raids stopped. They found whatever or whoever they were looking for.”

gil “Huh…”

jill “Anyways, we better start working.”

jill “Time to mix drinks and change lives.”

jill “Welcome to Valha-…”

jill “…”

jill “…”

norma “I want…a…Fluffy Dream.”

jill “…”

jill “May I see your ID, please?”

Jill can tell she’s underage? All the female characters in this game look like they’re around the same age, barring Dorothy, who just looks EVEN younger.

norma “I don’t have an ID because…um…”

norma “I’m the ghost of Mega Christmas Past!”

Have to admit, not liking this Dickens adaptation. I prefer the Muppet Christmas Carol myself.

norma “I’ll haunt you constantly unless you give me a Fluffy Dream.”

jill “Do you have money to pay for the drinks?”

norma “Well, I…”

jill “DO YOU?”

I don’t think money is the issue here, Jill.

norma “Yes! I-I have money.”

jill “…”

It sure is a good thing she ordered a drink which isn’t necessarily alcoholic.

norma “Wow, I actually got a drink!”

jill “…”

jill “So, who are you here to stalk, Miss Ghost of Mega Christmas Past?”

norma “Stalk? Oh right! I’m a ghost.”

norma “Uh…that guy! Yeah.”

jill “Which employee did you leave without a Mega Christmas, Gil?”

Gil has ruined five Mega Christmases and saved at least three.

gil “Jill, please.”

jill (“It would’ve been funny if he reacted to that.”)

jill “Sorry kid, I’m not in the mood to humor you today unless you have some sort of ID.”

norma “…here.”

jill ”This is just a crude drawing of a dick.”

jill “…well, in a year or so, I would gladly serve you a drink.”

I’m surprised that Glitch City even has a legal drinking age. Then again, they probably don’t enforce it much.

jill “But until then, this is no place for you.”

norma “But I already got a drink!”

jill “A non-alcoholic one.”


jill “You didn’t expect me to really give you a drink, right?”

norma “Uh…”

jill “So, if you would please leave…”

norma “I-I can’t leave! Not after trying so hard to even get here.”

jill “…”


jill “Alright, let’s start from the beginning, Miss…Norma.”

norma “How did you know my name?”

jill ”I’m a mind reader.”

jill “I saw your ID.”

norma “It could’ve been a fake ID.”

jill “I don’t think you’re stupid enough to make a fake ID that DOESN’T put you at 18 at the very least.”

norma “…!”

norma “You’re very sharp, Miss Bartender.”

Is she, though? Anyone can read an ID.

jill “You look like a nice girl, Norma. Why come to a bar like this?”

To get fucked up, one would assume.

norma “Uh…um…”

norma “You seem like you’re in a bad mood, Miss Bartender.”

gil “Nah, she’s just like that all the time.”

jill “Shut up.”

jillsigh Sorry if I’ve been harsh.”

jill “These last couple of days have been…heavy.”

Not to spoil anything, but you don’t know the half of it, Jill.

jill “And having someone underage here reminds me of a certain…incident from last week.”

norma “Incident?”

Yeah, Jill, you’re gonna need to specify. Half of your clientele are walking incidents.

jill “Well…”

Five hours later.

jill ”…and that’s why I’m no longer allowed step foot in Neo-San Francisco.”

jill “…don’t change the subject, young lady. Why did you come here?”

norma “What do you care?! I can do whatever I want!”

Ah, to be a teen again.

jill “Unless it’s illegal. In which case anyone can, should, and probably will stop you.”

norma “…”

norma “I just…just wanted to be more wild, you know?”

jill “Wild?”

norma “My mom puts way too many expectations on my shoulders.”

norma “I’ve always been out to make sure I don’t disappoint her.”

norma “But it’s never enough! It’s not good enough to have good grades.”

norma “She also wants me to go out and take a college preparation course.”

norma “And I’m tired! I don’t wanna do things for her anymore!”

jill “So you came to a bar.”

norma “Maybe if I came back home smelling like alcohol, she would leave me alone.”

norma “If I’m not good enough for her, I might as well kill any hope she has in me.”

jill “It’s funny. I have a friend who is also being pressured by her mother.”

norma “Really?”

jill “Yeah, but in her case, it’s being pressured to settle down and form a family.”

norma “Oh…”

jill “So, let me get this straight. You came here to make your mother disappointed?”

Defying parental authority is like, Being A Teenager 101, Jill, get with the program.

norma “Yes.”

jill “Do you like alcohol?”

norma “Actually, I think it’s nasty.”

jill “Then you’re doing things wrong.”

norma “What?”

jill “If you’re gonna disappoint your mom, at least do it with something you like.”

Spite is an absurdly powerful motivator.

jill “Like…become a belly dancer because you wanna be a belly dancer.”

jill “Otherwise you’re just trying to hurt her for the sake of hurting her.”

jill “Let’s start with something. What do you like doing?”

norma “I…don’t know.”

norma “I’ve been so focused on trying to be good enough that I haven’t been able to think about what I wanna do.”

That seems to a trend with kids that get straight A’s in school.

jill “Don’t you think you should start there?”

norma “Eh?”

jill “What good is doing something just for the sake of hurting someone?”

jill “If she gets disappointed in you over something you like doing, you have the right to protest.”

jill “But if you’re hurting her by hurting yourself over something you don’t enjoy…”

norma “Sounds silly, huh.”

jill “Very.”

jill “Go home. Do some self-discovery before hurting your mom, would you?”

jill ”Get yourself together, man. Move to Philly. Buy a loft. Start a noise band. Get six or seven roommates. Eat hummus with them. Book some gigs. Paint. Smoke cloves. Listen to Animal Collective. Start some type of salsa company.”

jill “Or at the very least, humor her until you’re old enough to move out.”

norma “Yeah, you’re right.”

norma “…thanks, Miss Bartender.”

jill “Call me Jill.”

jill “Careful out there!”

gil “In the end you did humor her for a bit.”

jill “Shut up.”

norma “Oh! A doggy!”

rad%20shiba “Hello little girl!”

jill “Oh shit.”

jill “You’re late.”

rad%20shiba “Missed me, J?”

jill “…”

jill “You’re too early.”

jill “Boss, will he be any good around here?”

He’s here to provide moral support, clearly.

rad%20shiba “I’m right here.”

jill “I know.”

dana%20regular “Of course, I spent lots of time training him. Why do you think he didn’t show up last week?”

jill “Because how the hell would I know you’d bring a PART-TIMER DOG?!”

dana%20regular “Here, let me show you.”

dana%20regular “Sit.”

rad%20shiba “SIR YES SIR.”

dana%20regular “Roll.”

rad%20shiba “SIR YES SIR.”

dana%20regular “Paw.”

rad%20shiba “SIR YES SIR.”

jill “Training…of course.”

jill “He’s only shouting “sir yes sir” and not doing anything else though.”

dana%20peeved “I never said I did a PERFECT job.”

jill “Hm? Is that a motorcycle?”

gil “In the end, he’s just a dog, I guess.”

jill “Y-Yes?”

mario “…bathroom.”

jill “Oh, sorry. It’s only for clients.”

mario%20shocked “…”

Me too, buddy. That policy is atrocious.

jill “Oh…um…promise me you’ll buy something afterwards. It’s that door over there.”

dana%20regular “Who the hell are you?”

jill “The other one!”

jill “Sheesh…”

dana%20regular “I said get out of my desk!”

rad%20shiba “But the world’s ending!”

dana%20regular “It was just a motorcycle.”

rad%20shiba “They’re the 4 Riders, then!”

dana%20regular “Those are horsemen, and it already stopped.”

jill “Don’t mention it.”

mario “I need to buy something now, right?”

jill “Oh no, you don’t have to. Sorry if it looked like I meant to inconvenience you.”

mario “No, I’ll order something. I need a rest anyways.”

jill “What can I get you?”

mario%20blushing “A…Piano Woman…would be nice.”

jill “Sorry, didn’t hear you.”

mario%20shockedahem I’ll have a Marsblast.”

jill “Eh…sure.”

Long story short: we serve him the drinks he actually wants before he finally embraces that he doesn’t need to be masc.

mario%20smiling “…”

jill “You look happy.”

mario%20shocked “Shut up.”

jill “Is that motorcycle out there yours, mister…?”

mario “Call me Mario. And yes, it’s mine.”

mario “Sorry for the noise.”

jill “Oh, don’t worry. It’s not like you stayed outside too long or anything.”

jill “So, what do you work as, Mario?”

mario%20smiling “I live to paint the roads black with my wheels, leaving the trail of my engine’s sounds wherever I go.”

mario%20smiling “I’m a rebel. Fuck the red lights! Fuck the speed limits! Fuck the helmet laws! The roads are mine and mine only. I am-…”

A jackass?

Ooh, is she gonna dress up as a cocktail, spin a sign around and stuff? Sounds dope.

mario%20smiling “Hello doggie!”

rad%20shiba “Hello shady guy!”

mario%20shocked “S-Shady…”

jill “Alright.”

gil “Careful.”

mario “Who was she?”

jill “Oh, she’s my boss.”

mario “She was cute.”

mario%20blushing “Err…not that you’re not cute. And it’s not like I’m into girls either.”

mario%20blushing “Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I just…”

That’s certainly one way to come out, I guess.

jill “So, where do you work, Mario?”

mario “I told you, I’m a rebel, I…”

jill “Rebels can’t maintain those bikes for too long. What’s your DAY job?”

mario “…I’m a delivery boy.”

Only semi-related, but do you ever start ordering from a place so frequently that the delivery people start to recognize you? Because I’ve done that.

jill “That’s really appropriate, I guess.”

jill “What do you deliver?”

mario “I’m from a courier company. So it’s kinda like mail, I guess.”

mario “I’m always around the city and I know it like the palm of my hand.”

mario “Sure, I might not remember every building, but I remember every intersection and every street.”

jill “That’s nice. I still can’t take detours without feeling totally lost.”

mario%20smiling “Try guiding yourself with the help of landmarks. Around here, the Saber Station’s antenna is a good reference.”

mario “Err…I mean…what do I care? Fix that yourself, b-bitch.”

jill “Do you want anything else, Mario?”

mario “I guess a Moonblast would be nice.”

jill “Moonblast?”

mario%20shocked “EEEEEEH GUT PUNCH. Yeah, that…one.”

Embrace the fem within you, Mario.

jill “…”

Same process as before.

mario “Heh…this is good.”

jill “It’s a Moonblast.”

mario%20shocked “…”

mario%20shocked “I…”

mario “No, nevermind.”

jill “Say, Mario. Why do you try so hard to keep up that tough guy image?”

Depends on if you want a long ass LGBT history lesson, Jill.

mario “…it isn’t working?”

jill “Maybe when you arrived and had to go to the bathroom, but after that you just looked…cute.”

mario “Cute…”

jill “So, why do it?”

mario “Bikers are supposed to be scary, right?”

Suuure, that’s why.

mario “Rebels that cause trouble and ride free from society’s ties.”

jill “If we applied that brand of logic here, I should be wearing one third of my clothes and lighting drinks on fire.”

mario%20blushing “I guess.”

jill “You can do whatever you want and dress however you want. It’s just that you look like you’re trying so hard.”

jill “Like you really don’t enjoy that.”

mario “…it’s not a LIE.”

jill “Who says you can’t dress as a biker and still be a nice kid?”

mario “Yeah, but other bikers…”

It’s just like that old cliche your parents said about peer pressure and jumping off of bridges.

jill “That sounded like something someone in high school would say.”

mario%20shocked “Ugh…”

jillsigh It’s just advice. Don’t take it too personally.”

mario “No, you’re right. I don’t have to be that way.”

jill “Unless you want to. I ain’t stopping you there.”

mario “Yeah, but I don’t. It’s tiring and I don’t feel good.”

jill “If you want, you can try to stay quiet. You were pretty intimidating when you did that.”

He was?

mario “I see.”

jill “Will you have another drink or did you have too many already?”

mario “I can handle another one. Get me a Fringe Weaver.”

jill “Sure.”

We did it, kids!

mario “Yup, that’s the one. Thanks.”

mario “Say, that guy over there.”

jill “Gil? What’s up with him?”

mario “Are you dating him?”

jill ”Fuck no.”

jill “No.”

mario “Is he seeing anyone?”

jill “Not as far as I know.”

mario “Do you think he…”

jill “He…?”

Oh come on, Jill. Be a good wingman.

mario%20shocked “No, nevermind! I said nothing.”

jill “Please come again.”

jill “…”

jill “Ah, Gil. You heartbreaking fuckboy.”

Took you long enough.

gil “Eh? What?”

jill “Nothing.”

jill “I’ll be taking my break now, Gil.”

gil “Okay. Careful.”


That thing about dictionaries is an actual thing, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to compare two dictionaries word-by-word to find a made-up word. Might actually prefer playing this game to that. Only just, though.


VA-11 HALL-A is my favorite edutainment game.


Due to preparing for exams and internet troubles (currently using mobile data to write this!) there will be no update this week. But because I still felt like posting something, here’s me attempting to liveblog a terrible analysis of VA-11 HALL-A.


jill “Alright, back to business.”

Well, that’s a fitting way to begin this update, considering our accidental short hiatus.

jill “Any luck?”

dana%20regular “I managed to give out some flyers, but most people were distracted by the dog.”

dana%20peeved “I had to tell them to go to the Rad Shiba Bar to get their attention.”

jill “Oh.”

:tw: Once again, it is Her. :tw:

dorothy “The door opens, and the crowd goes wild when they see AAAAAAAAAAGH! DOOOOOOOOOG!”

dorothy%20nervous “H-H-Honey…some help here.”

jill “Hey dog, I heard cats in the alley.”

Why, Jill, why.

jill “Wow. You really are bad with dogs, eh?”

dorothy%20upset “Did I make it too obvious?”

I’m pretty sure that Dorothy being as subtle as a sledgehammer is her defining character trait.

jill “Why though?”

dorothy%20upset “I don’t know.”

dorothy “Oh, hey John!”

gil “Hey.”

dorothy “I think it’s because I just got that trait at random.”

An in-depth look into the process of writing VA-11 HALL-A.

dorothy “When AIs are created, they’re given fears or tastes completely at random.”

dorothy “I just happened to get stuck with a fear of dogs and chinchillas.”

jill “Chinchillas are extinct, though.”

I mean, I used to have a fear of black holes when I was a kid, so it could be worse.

dorothy%20upset “Thank gods.”

jill “What will you have?”

dorothy “Well, it’s that time of the month, so I’ll have a Bleeding Jane.”

jill “Coming right…um…up.”

jill “”That time of the month”…do Lilim menstruate?”

My favorite thing about cyberpunk is that it deals with philosophical questions.

dorothy “Yes, oil.”

dorothy%20flirty “No, silly. We don’t.”

dorothy “There are a few maintenance things we have to do every month, but those are a different story.”

jill “Then what time of the month is it?”

dorothy%20smiling “The time when I feel like drinking a Bleeding Jane.”

jill “…”

jill “So, how’s business?”

dorothy “You’d be surprised by how many people get struck by holiday depression and need some Dorothy in their lives.”

The ideal amount of people that need Dorothy in their lives is zero.

dorothy%20upset “Although it’s also the season with the most competition.”

jill “I didn’t know you had competition.”

dorothy “Of course I do, both humans and Lilim. Half of them got a sexy Santa dress and that’s not fair!”

dorothy%20verge%20of%20tears “They were sold out! I wanted one too!”

dorothy “But maybe it’s better that way.”

jill “How so?”

dorothy “The other girls like to dress in skimpy clothes and show off lots of skin. That scares off lots of people.”

dorothy “I learned that the best way to maintain regulars is to just dress normally.”

And as we all know, maid outfits are Extremely Regular.

jill “Really?”

dorothy “If I dress normally, they can just pretend I’m some acquaintance. No need to hide me until reaching the room.”

dorothy “Hell, some even invite me to a dinner or a movie before anything else.”

Do the devs not realize how creepy that would look to passers-by?

dorothy%20upset “Although I must say it’s a bit hard to get the clients in the first place. They can’t tell what I do at a glance.”

dorothy%20upset “And the first time they see me after a call they think I’m just making a prank or something.”

jill “Huh, I never saw it that way.”

jill “Which reminds me. Do you serve only humans or do you serve Lilim too?”

dorothy “Humans only, but I do have an “at least 40% organic” policy.”

jill “40%?”

dorothy “Human from the neck up. Dicks preferably organic, but I can make exceptions.”

dorothy “For females, I’m not so strict though.”

How the hell these people managed to do a crossover with a studio that explicitly focuses on LGBT content is beyond me.

jill “Hm…”

dorothy “Why? Do you know someone that might be interested?”

jill “No, just mere curiosity.”

dorothy “Well, your curiosity made me thirsty. Get me a Blue Fairy. A big one, would you?”

I’ve never seen A.I. but somehow I feel like it would probably be better than this game.

jill “Alright.”

dorothy “I wonder if anyone has seen fairies after a couple of these.”

Fun fact! Hallucinations are actually a symptom of delirium tremens.

jill “Some guy tested that by drinking as many as he could.”

jill “He thought he saw one, but he was dizzy and what he’d seen was his puke.”

dorothy “Oh.”

jill “You know, earlier today there was a Mega Christmas spirit around here.”

jill ”And then you showed up.”

dorothy “What about it?”

jill (“That I’m realizing I made a fuss about serving drinks to someone underaged, but here I am.”)

jill “Nothing in particular, just a funny story.”

dorothy%20smiling “I have a funny story myself. It’s the Mega Santa prank!”

jillsigh The what?”

:tw: I don’t exactly know how to classify this, but I think pedophilia and sexual assault will do. :tw:

dorothy%20flirty “Heh. It’s a prank I pull every year.”

dorothy “First, I pick a mall, wait for a day with lots of people.”

dorothy “Then I go to Santa’s lap, and when he asks what I want…”

dorothy “I say in the most innocent tone I can muster…”

dorothy%20smiling “”I want you to make me a woman!””

Yeah, no. That’s not funny. Fuck you, Sukeban Games. Fuck you.

dorothy%20smiling “Sometimes they try to cover it up. “The Lilim wants to be human!””

dorothy%20flirty “It’s then when I say, “No. I. Want. You.””

jill “…”

dorothy%20upset “After that I say, “Well, at the very least I want a dildo, a big pink one. Or a very bumpy cucumber!””

dorothy “Sometimes I spice it up. Instead of cucumbers I ask for a pony and a crane to lift him.”

dorothy “I once thought about screaming, “Help! I’m being molested!””

dorothy “But I remembered it was a prank, I didn’t want to ruin the guys life.”

jill “How considerate.”

dorothy “Although I did get a client that way. He became a regular soon after.”


jill “Huh.”

dorothy “But yeah, three years and they still don’t get that it’s always me.”

jill “Oh yeah, how old are you?”

dorothy%20smiling “Old enough for anything you want.”

jill “Numbers. I need numbers.”

dorothy%20flirty “Are you really asking a girl her age that way? Okay then, tell me your age first.”

jill “27.”

dorothy%20pout “No fair! You didn’t get fidgety or anything like that.”

dorothy%20pout “Fiiiine. I’ll tell you.”

dorothy “My model’s designed to look between 10 to 13 years old. But my last checkup said my mental age was 24.”

Can you tell that the devs watch a lot of garbage anime?

jill “How long since you’ve been deployed?”

dorothy%20flirty “That’s a secret I’ll keep with me~”

jill “Fair enough.”

dorothy “I expected you to get all uncomfortable talking about your age though. Why didn’t you?”

Because that’s a normal reaction?

jill “With how dangerous everything’s been lately, every year you get matters.”

jill “Getting old isn’t a curse, it’s an achievement.”

dorothy “You should make a shirt with that. Because if you don’t, I will.”

jill “Feel free to do so.”

jill “Do you want anything else?”

dorothy “Let’s see…”

dorothy “Oh! A Cobalt Velvet. It’s been a while since I’ve tried one of those.”

jill “Alright.”

This drink has to be a Lynch reference, right?

dorothy “Yup, this is the one.”

jill “Do you like it?”

dorothy “I don’t dislike it. I guess I’m not mature enough for these drinks.”

dorothy “Hey, honey. What day’s today?”

jill “Wednesday.”

dorothy “No, the number. The number!”

jill “Number? 21.”

jill “Shouldn’t you know that?”

dorothy%20pout “I’m a Lilim, not a calendar.”

jill “I thought you would know that much.”

dorothy%20pout “Next you’re gonna tell me to make some convoluted calculation.”

We’re getting into some dangerous David Cage territory here.

jill “Y-You can’t?”

dorothy%20upset “I could if I put my mind to it, but it’s not something I have quick access to.”

dorothy%20upset “Yes, I have an inner calendar and a calculator, but those are used in lots of other operations every second.”

dorothy “I COULD do all that, but it’s a lot quicker to just ask you.”

jill “I see.”

jill “Why do you need the date though?”

Pay no mind to the television in the background. This definitely isn’t foreshadowing or connected to any characters that we might have previously met.

dorothy “Oh! But don’t worry, it’s nothing dangerous or anything like that, just…heavy.”

jill “Would you like some help?”

dorothy “Would you help me?”

jill “If you tell me what it is you need help with.”

dorothy “…maybe later. I have to go now.”

jill “Bye.”

gil “Do you think she really can’t access calendars and calculators that easily?”

jill “I guess it’s kinda like how even if a text processor can access the computer’s calendar, you don’t use it for that.”

gil “Why didn’t you tell her you missed her yesterday?”

jill “Forgot about it.”

Rad Shiba deserves a raise for almost making Dorothy leave, to be honest.

jill “Why not look again?”

And just who is this? Well, thanks to the delays and the length of this particular day, there’ll be a special update this Wednesday so we can sort of get back on track.


gaby “…”

gil “Maybe the bar got popular at some middle school?”

One time this restaurant near my primary school got popular among kids and they just started taking their sugar and honey packets for free. I still have no idea why they did that.

jill “That would be a hassle.”

jill “Oh gods, maybe Alma was right.”

Sidenote: why does Jill say “oh gods” like she’s a character in a bad, pulpy fantasy series?

gil “Right about what?”

jill “Well, the other day I was asking her opinion on the whole Alice_Rabbit thing.”

jill “Before the whole massive transmission hack thing.”

jill “And at some point she talked about hacking becoming a fad and said:”

jill “”Imagine if, suddenly, a group of tweens broke into this bar and started asking for drinks.””

jill “And today, there have been two kids already.”

gaby “…”

jill “Eeeeeh…”

gil “How would bartending become a fad?”

jill “Maybe a cartoon?”

There’s probably an anime about bartending, at least.

gil “Kids’ cartoons don’t show any alcohol.”

jill “True.”

gaby “…”

jill “Um…”

jill “Excuse me, Miss…”

gaby “…”

jill “This is no place for kids, so you should…”

gaby “…”

jill “Um…”

jill “Gil, she’s staring too much. And she’s saying nothing.”

jill ”She’s just standing there…menacingly!”

gil “She’s not ordering anything, she’s not causing trouble and there’s nothing inappropriate here.”

gil “I mean, nothing inappropriate aside from alcohol. But alcohol is everywhere anyways.”

Considering the clientele, I think there are plenty more inappropriate things.

jill “So what do you suggest?”

gil “Let her be? Maybe she’s just curious about the bar.”

jill “She’s saying nothing.”

gil “Maybe she’s curious AND shy.”

gil “Also, it’s rude to speak about people you have in front of you like they can’t hear you.”

gil ”That’s what the brackets are for, Jill.”

jill “Yeah…”

jill “…”

gaby “…”

A riveting conversation.

jill “…”

gil “Jill.”

jill “BWAH!”

gil “How the hell did I startle you?”

jill “What do you want?”

gil “Can you help me out here with a Beer?”

jill “R-Right…”

gil “Thanks. And lower your guard a bit, please.”

gil “Oh yeah, before I forget.”

gil “The disposal unit comes on Sunday. Do you have any expired ingredients on your side?”

jill “Oh right. Yeah.”

jill “There’s a bottle of Karmotrine that’s like a month past expiration.”

Expiration rates can be pretty unreliable at times though.

gil “Put it by the sink so I remember to dispose of it.”

jill “Thanks.”

jill “…!”

jill “Y-Yes?”

gaby “Are you happy?”

She works at Valhalla. What do you think?

jill “Am I happy? Well…that’s a weird question.”

jill “I’m not sad, I guess. I’m not jubilant, but…”

gaby “No, I mean, are you happy with your life? With your choices?”

jill “Deep question…”

jill “I mean, I might have one or two regrets but I guess it could be worse.”

gaby “Regrets?”

jill “Yeah, I mean…don’t we all?”

gaby “I see…”

Is this girl just Nega-Jill or something?

gaby “…”

jill “Um…”

gaby “…”

jill “…”

Yeah, this update is kind of a lot of pointless filler.

gil “Hey Jill.”

jill “BWAH!”

gil “…again? Aren’t you a bit on edge?”

jill “Maybe. What did you want?”

gil “Didn’t you borrow the screwdriver the other day?”

jill “I did, why?”

gil “I forgot to take the coins from the arcades in the corner last week.”

gil “So I need it to take them out.”

jill “Oh, let’s see…”

jill “Here.”

jill “It’s not like they see much action these days anyways.”

I know it’d be extremely impractical and unprofitable but arcade machines should make a comeback.

gil “Chump change is still money. Pocket change has saved my ass many times.”

jill “What? Did you throw it in someone’s face while escaping?”

gil “That only happened once and the old lady started it!”

jill “…right.”

jill “Why does an arcade still use coins nowadays? Or physical money, when you get down to it.”

gil “For the reason arcades still exist. Nostalgia.”

jill “Maybe.”

gaby “…”

Like I said before, a LOT of pointless filler.

jill “E-Eh? Yeah?”

gaby “Do you recognize me?”

jill “Recognize you?”

jill “…I want to say I do, but…eh…”

jill “Sorry.”

jill “Sister? Sorry, but I don’t have any sis-…”

jill “…sister?”

Jeez, Jill, you’re worse than a Metal Gear protagonist.

gaby “Not even a “sister in law”?”

jill “…”

jill “…no way. Gaby? Is that really you?”

jill “God, I’m so sorry, but you’ve just grown so much since I last saw you.”

jill “How long has it been?”

gaby “…three years.”

jill “R-Right.”

gil “So you know her?”

jill “Yeah. She’s actually my girlfr-…my ex’s sister.”

jill “Um…so, how have you been doing?”

Master of small talk.

gaby “I actually had to transfer schools, and I managed to skip a grade thanks to the admission tests.”

gaby “I’ll be out of middle school next year.”

Is middle school a thing anywhere besides America? Genuinely curious.

jill “You’ve always been a smart one, so it’s no surprise._

jill “Have you thought about what you want to study in college? You always said you wanted to be a scientist?”

gaby “I don’t know yet. I guess I still have a couple of years to think about that.”

jill “Well, don’t feel pressured about that. Maybe you’ll need a sabbatical year?”

jill “S-So…how’s Lenore?”

gil “Wait, who’s Lenore?”

jill “Her sister, she’s…um…she was my girlfriend.”

Okay, to be honest, I kinda like the signs that Jill isn’t really over her ex. It’s cute.

gil “So you actually had a relationship with something that’s not a cat? Color me surprised!”

jill “Hey…don’t talk shit about my baby.”


jill “So, how’s Lenore doing?”

And now we finally get to the actual meat of this day’s plot. And it’s kind of a lot and I’m actually not sure how to feel about it. On the one hand, killing off gay characters is an ancient cliche by this point, but I also think the way this game portrays people dealing grief in a…fairly realistic manner.

jill “…”

jill “Sorry, I don’t think I heard right.”

gaby%20sad “My sister is dead, Jill. She died last Saturday. I came all the way to tell you the news.”

jill “Come on Gaby, stop fooling arou-…”

gaby%20mad “My sister was left to suffer her disease alone while you were all merry here, mixing drinks and chatting!”

jill “Wait, Lenore was sick? Of what? Since when?”

gaby “Localized Nanomachine Rejection. It gave her a heart attack.”

gaby “She started complaining about chest pains not long after you left.”

gaby%20mad “Was all the talk about getting your freedom worth it, Jill?”

jill “Why are you lashing out at me like that?! Did I infect her with the disease that killed her?”

gaby%20crying “No, but. It’s too much of a coincidence that she started getting worse and worse right after you left!”

gaby%20crying “She got visibly sick after your fight. It’d be no surprise if that fight played a key role in killing her!”

jill “But that’s just speculation, you can’t expect-…”

gaby%20crying “And all of that because you wanted “freedom”?!”

gaby%20crying “What kind of freedom is so enticing that it makes you hurt a nice three-year-old relationship?!”

gaby%20crying “Was this freedom so important you cut all contact with us?!”

gaby%20crying “Was this freedom so good you left everything behind?!”

gaby%20crying “Was this freedom worth the life of my-…”

jill “SHUT UP!”

jill “I didn’t kill your sister, for fuck’s sake! It’s not like I infected her with that Nanomachine Rejection!”

jill “Hell, this is the first time I’ve even heard she was sick!”

gaby%20shocked “…”

jill “And do you really know what kind of fear drove me to have that argument with your sister?!”

jill “Do you even understand the fear of feeling your youth slip through your fingers?!”

jill “Do you think it was all easy for me?! I was scared! I’m still scared! But I needed to grab a hold of my life!”

jill “But it has nothing to do with your sister!”

jill “I-I loved her… Do you think that fight didn’t hurt me too?”

jill “I…”

gaby%20crying “…”

I’m tempted to sympathize with Jill here, but like, kids have a fucking hard time dealing with loss and they’re gonna do shitty things. I might just be reading a bit too much into the bad video game, though.

jill “…”


jill “…”

jill “I… I…”

gil “I’ll make sure that girl gets to wherever she wants to go safely.”

dana%20regular “Come on, Jill. Let’s take you home.”

jill “…”

jill “…”

dana%20regular “Hey Jill, you wanna grab something to eat?”

jill “…”

jill “…I’m not hungry.”

dana%20regular “Want me to come in? Keep you company?”

jill “…I-I’m fine, I just…sniff I just need to be alone for a bit.”

dana%20regular “Jill…”

dana%20regular “You can tell me what you’re feeling, it’s okay.”

jill “IT’S NOT OKAY!!”

jill “It’s…it’s not…”

jill “…”

dana%20regular “Come here Jill, come here.”

jillsniff I-It’s just…I feel like part of me is crumbling right now. “

jill “M-My old girlfriend was sick and I didn’t know anything about it!”

jill “Her sister came to deliver the news, and she held nothing but animosity for me…”

jill “And not only that, but I lashed out at her too! History fucking repeats itself.”

jill “Maybe if I hadn’t cowered back then and apologized…”

jill “Maybe if I wasn’t such a selfish little shit…”

jill “Maybe…”

jill “…m-maybe…”


dana%20regular “…”

jill “Thanks, Boss. I really needed this.”

dana%20regular “Do you want me to stay with you today?”

jill “Thanks, but I actually need some time for myself.”

jill “Some me time to put my thoughts in order.”

dana%20regular “Yeah, I understand.”

dana%20regular “But don’t do anything funny, you hear me?”

dana%20regular “If any weird thoughts come to you, or if you feel too anxious, call me.”

jill “Yeah.”

dana%20regular “…”

dana%20regular “Hey Fore! She’s in your care, you hear?”

fore “Meow.”

dana%20regular “Remember to call me. I’ll call you later to check on you nonetheless.”

jill “…”

And there we have it, one of the rare actually good parts of the game, at least in my opinion. They’ll probably ruin it with boob jokes and whatnot in the next update, so let’s savor this.


Yeah I think I’m more on the “you killed off the gay you asshats” side of this conundrum.

I think a game about a bartender where the plot is revealed to you by conversations you have with customers CAN be good and compelling but this game didn’t do it. By necessity it’s going to break the “show don’t tell” rule a lot so you need to really go hard on the bits you CAN show. So I kinda feel like Jill just shouting “I also was upset about that fight” doesn’t sell the moment as well as it ought to.


Is this the greatest thing to ever grace planet earth?

I literally can’t stop touching myself

Such a high quality release.


I think it’s a regulation for the civilian models.

Something’s off. I’d be all over this normally but I can’t seem to get excited over this.

Your shit taste is showing.

Nah, I just think I’m kind of desens…descen…I’m kind of tired of the same thing over and over.

That’s what happens when you consume way too much fucking military equipment and weapons.

Yeah I think it’s that. I better stop buying so many weapons already or I’ll never find pleasure in them again.

Any word on the Camo stuff for other civilian weaponry?

They said they were going to announce more stuff on a later date.

I like porn, you guys.


Anyone else remember that the userbase for danger/u/ is supposed to be primarily female? Because the devs sure didn’t. These parts just remain as gross and dumb as ever.

Fans of the famous “Cyber Idol” Kira MIki are in for a huge party, all thanks to the announcement of a second concert in Glitch City’s Silver Thunder Super Dome.

”I’m so excited to extend my visit!” declared the Cyber Idol during an interview.

Tickets are now up for sale and expected to disappear in a matter of minutes, so be quick and secure the best spots!

You can get tickets from the following retailers:

TicketLord Idol Hell

We have nanomachines tracking people 24/7. However, due to the violent protests that have taken place recently, Prime Minister QUINCY is now proposing a new law that will allow the government to “shut down” anyone with nanomachines in their body, using a pulse signal.

”Many people died during the protests, and that could’ve been avoided if we had more control over the masses,” QUINCY said during a parliament meeting. “We have the technology to simply shut down lawbreakers. It’s a non-lethal way to end any kind of conflict and it’s common sense to use it at this point.”

When asked about the possible negative consequences, QUINCY refused to make any further comments.

Ever since Giant Yusuke won the GSF belt, he’s had nothing but negative responses from the fans.

Challenger after challenger has tried to take the title away from the imposing giant, but nearly all of them were injured in the process.

66 American Kid surprised the GSF world by returning to action almost four months earlier than expected, and then challenging Giant Yusuke to a title match on January 4th at the Super Silver Thunder Dome.

”This January, I’ll become the champion GSF deserves!” 66 American Kid proclaimed during a promotion in front of 25,000 fans in the Kokoro Hall.

jill “I feel like shit.”

gil “You sure you should’ve come then? You’re in the alright to stay at home.”

jill “I have to come.”

In another game, this could have led to an insightful analysis. Unfortunately, this is VA-11 HALL-A.

jill “I threw away everything I had in my life to be here.”

jill “People I loved were pushed aside so I could enjoy my freedom of being here.”

jill “My stupid, stupid freedom…”

jill “…”

jill “So I will come here until I die, even after the bar closes, until my hair falls out.”

gil “You’re the one who looks like she’s about to fall apart.”

A master at pointing out the obvious and implied.

gil “Your eyes are red and swollen.”

jill “Yeah? Well…your hair is…hairy!”

gil “Yes, it is.”

jill “Agh! Who was the dipshit that changed the order of the glasses?”

gil “It was me. I was the one washing dishes yesterday, remember?”

jill “Oh yeah, I was too busy staring at my crumbling life and all that.”

gil%20exasperated “Why don’t you go home, Jill? You’re in no position to deal with people right now.”

gil%20exasperated “Go home, rest a bit.”

Honestly though he’s kinda right.

jill “My girlfrie-…my ex-girlfriend died and I wasn’t there to see her one last time.”

jill “All because of a fight I spent all these years regretting and wishing to, but never actually apologizing for.”

jill “My decision to assert my freedom and grab a hold of my life led me to this.”

jill “A bartender strapped for cash that distanced herself from her loved ones for no other reason than selfishness.”

jill “So I won’t fucking leave. I threw all of that away to be here, so here I will stay!”

jill “This is what I wanted, this is why I left all of that behind, this is why…”

jill “…”

gil%20exasperated “See? You’re starting to sound like a broken record.”

Do “not working” and “having company” have to be diametrically opposed, though?

dana%20regular “How are you feeling, Jill?”

jill “I feel like a shit-eating piece of shit.”

jill “I’m the lowest of any possible life form you might find.”

jill “Nanobes look down to me in disgust, knowing they’re far superior.”

dana%20regular “You’re spirited, that’s good.”

jill “Where’s the mutt?”

dana%20regular “Working with CIRA.”

gil “‘At’ CIRA.”

dana%20peeved “I know what I said.”

dana%20regular “In any case, let Jill process her anger. It’s perfectly normal to feel that way.”

dana%20regular “And here, she’s surrounded by people that care about her.”

Also a good excuse to keep her working, I guess.

dana%20regular “That’s a lot better than leaving her to fend for herself.”

dana%20regular “I mean, as smart as Fore can be, he’s still just a cat.”

gil “Then why not have Jill stay, but not serve anyone today?”

jill “What part of ‘I won’t leave’ didn’t you understand?!”

jill “I didn’t leave everyone behind just to sit and do nothing!”

gil%20exasperated “Fine, fine…”

gil%20exasperatedsigh What do we do if she lashes out at a client?”

dana%20regular “That’s why you’re here, Gillian Pliskin.”

Somehow I feel like the devs are only familiar with that name through Metal Gear.

gil “Who?”

dana%20regular “Hey Jill.”

jill “What?”

dana%20regular “I’ll be in my office, but if you need a break or a hug, just tell me.”

jill “…”

virgilio “The hall of heroes keeps shining. Brimming with the… sniff Do I smell tacos? Wait, it’s outside. Nevermind.

jill “Oh, hell no.”

jill “…Virgilio. What can I get you?”

virgilio “Today, the luminous pollution on the streets makes it seem almost like a starry sky.”

virgilio “And when I think about stars, I think about celebrities. Celebrities are fishy and my favorite fish is the octopus.”

virgilio “So I want something octopus-like.”

jill “…”

virgilio “Aren’t you…gonna do that weird bartending thing?”

jill “I’m waiting for you to order like a decent human being.”

Moral of the day: don’t be a dick to service workers, ever.

virgilio “I’m not following.”

jill “Spell out your order like you’re a human who is not in need of medical help.”

virgilio%20peeved “Fine then, I want a Sparkle Star. S-P-A-R-R…kle Star.”

jill “…”

virgilio%20peeved “Have you TRIED to spell under pressure?”

virgilio “You look angry, Spelling Bartender. Are you having that time of the month or something?”

Haha, casual misogyny.

jill “No, I’m just filled with ridiculous amounts of anger, pain, and self-hate, and…”

jill “…on second thought, you’re not that far from the truth, I guess.”

virgilio%20upset “I get those too, you know? Periods.”

jill “…you do?”

God forbid trans people exist in this universe, or something.

virgilio%20smiling “Yes. Last month, I finally got over my Renaissance and moved to my Enlightenment.”

jill “…”

jill “And here I was, thinking you’d get to say something serious for once.”

virgilio%20peeved “Are you implying I’m not serious?”

jill “…”

virgilio%20peeved “Glaring holes through me will do nothing. I’m glare-immune!”


virgilio “But if you allow me to give you a sincere piece of advice…”

jill “…whatever. It’s not like it’ll help.”

virgilio “You shouldn’t kick yourself so much.”

virgilio “If you keep it up, any chance of finally forgiving yourself will be someday be gone.”

virgilio “Self-hate will leave you with a hole that will never heal.”

virgilio “So please take measures against it instead of sulking so much.”

jill “…I’ll be damned. That actually sounded half-sensible.”

jill “And here I was thinking you were just a pompous lunatic.”

virgilio%20peeved “Hey! Pompous lunatics have stories too!”

jill “Really? What story?”

Hopefully one about how his life got flipped turned upside down.

virgilio%20peeved “I…would rather not tell.”

jill “Figures.”

jill “You want anything else?”

virgilio%20smiling “Have you ever seen how the…”

jill “…”

virgilio%20peeved “A-A Bad Touch.”

jill “…”

virgilio%20peeved “Yeah, I guess this is the one.”

jill “…”

jill (“Maybe he’s right and I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.”)

jill “…”

jill (“Even though I deserve every second of it.”)

jill (“If only I had apologized earlier, I might not be feeling this way right now.”)

jill (“If only I…i-if only I…”)

jill (“I…I can’t even remember what held me from apologizing all these years.”)

Here’s a nice point to segue into one of this game’s problems. While the typical visual novel has plenty of narration and internal monologues - one could say they form the bulk of the genre, even - the way this game is formatted doesn’t really allow for those, and that results (at least in my opinion) in a far weaker narrative.

virgilio%20peeved “Um…bartender. You’re making lots of faces there.”

jill (“Pride? Fear? What kept me from going out and apologizing to Lenore?”)

jill (“I can’t even fucking remember what feeling kept me from fixing this whole situation?”)

jill (“Can’t I at least find solace in whatever feeling it was that brought me to this situation?!”)

jill (“Great, now I’m feeling even worse thanks to not being able to muster whatever feeling held me.”)

jill “…”

virgilio%20upset “I-Is she okay?”

gil “No, but just leave her be for now.”

new%20sei “Hey Jill!”

jill “…eh?”

jill “Oh, thank god. A normal person.”

virgilio%20peeved “WAAAAAAA! A Mummy!”

new%20sei%20blushing “No, no. I don’t have kids.”

jill “…still more normal than this twat.”

Is twat commonly used as an insult outside of Britain? It just sounds kinda wrong in American English.

jill “How are you feeling, Sei?”

new%20sei%20smiling “My bones are still broken, but at least the cuts are healing nicely.”

new%20sei%20smiling “Thank god I’m not someone that scars easily.”

new%20sei%20blushing “Um… I mean wounds don’t leave me marks. It’d be a problem if I couldn’t get scar tissue.”

virgilio “What happened to you?”

new%20sei “Fell off two and a half stories into some trash and rubble.”

jill “You look better, though. Last time you came, you looked like you were about to collapse emotionally.”

Uh, Jill, she WAS about to collapse emotionally. You were there.

new%20sei%20smiling “Heheh… I guess.”

new%20sei%20smiling “…”

new%20sei “…you’re the one who looks like it now, though.”

new%20sei “How do I put it…it’s like when I called you your full name, but magnified.”

jill “Yeah, don’t mind me too much. I’m in a bad mood.”

new%20sei “Anything I can do?”

jill “Please forgive me if I suddenly lash out. At you or anyone else.”

jill “Do you want something?”

new%20sei%20smiling “My tongue’s not so sensitive today, so let’s have a Beer.”

jill “And you?”

virgilio%20peeved “Such a change in tone.”

virgilio “I-I’m fine. I don’t need anything.”

jill “…”

new%20sei%20smiling “Yay! Let’s see if there are any differences from the canned ones.”

Probably doesn’t have that carbonated feel, for one.

jill “…and?”

new%20sei%20smiling “This one tastes…less watered down.”

new%20sei “So, did something happen to you?”

jill “I’m fine, nothing’s happened to me.”

new%20sei “People who are fine don’t act like that.”

Besides, someone saying they’re fine is like one of the more obvious indicators that they’re not fine.

new%20sei “…oh! I get it. You’re in ‘those days’.”

Why are all the running gags in this game…like that?

jill “…”

new%20sei “When it’s that time of the month, I get a bit sulky.”

jill “No, I’m not on my period.”

Just stop it, please.

new%20sei “No?”

jillsigh I’m dealing with the loss of someone, okay?”

new%20sei%20blushing “Oh!”

new%20sei%20blushing “…”

new%20sei%20sad “…sorry.”

jill “Don’t worry.”

jillsigh Maybe I shouldn’t have come today after all.”

new%20sei%20sad “…”

new%20sei%20sad “Um…”

new%20sei%20sad “No, I…”

new%20sei%20sad “Hm…”

new%20sei%20sad “Maybe…”

new%20sei%20blushing “Agh!”

jill “Are you alright?”

new%20sei%20blushing “I-I’m trying to find something to say…”

new%20sei%20blushing “Making a joke would be tasteless, and I can’t say everything will be alright without it sounding…cheap.”

new%20sei%20sad “I’m…at a loss as to what to do here. Sorry.”

jill “Heh…”

jill “Wanna hear something weird?”

jill “I was exactly like that when Stella came here on Monday talking about you.”

new%20sei “Oh.”

virgilio “Well, ladies. I’m leaving.”

jill “…Virgilio.”

virgilio “Yeah?”

jill “You were just sitting with a Valkyrie.”

jillsigh I’d feel bad about the way I treated him today.”

jill “…if not for the fact that he was being cryptic with his orders for no good reason.”

jill “Yes… NO!! I mean…”

new%20sei%20smiling “Heheh…”

new%20sei “You could’ve given him a free Beer or something and apologized.”

jill “Yeah. I just keep messing things up with people.”

new%20sei “But you know? He seemed familiar.”

jill “Familiar?”

new%20sei “Yeah, I can’t put my finger on it though. I just feel like I’ve seen him somewhere.”

It’s a good thing this will never end up being relevant in any way whatsoever.

new%20sei “Ah well, it might just be that he looks like someone from an ad or something.”

Or a popular youtube series.

jill “So, what brings you here?”

new%20sei “I wanted to come with Stella. So I’m waiting for her.”

jill “Why here?”

new%20sei “To be with you, of course!”

Jeez that’s gay.

jill “…”

jill “That reminds me. How did Stella react when you arrived?”

new%20sei%20in%20pain “She slapped me…real hard. It hurt.”

new%20sei%20in%20pain “She said, ‘That’s for making me worried and not listening to me!’ and then she became happy.”

jill “Huh…”

new%20sei “Can I ask whose loss you are dealing with?”

jill “…you shouldn’t be bothered with it.”

jill “Just pretend I’m in a bad mood and call it a day.”

new%20sei “Oh, okay.”

jill “…”

By the end of this game 90% of the dialogue will just be ellipses. Possibly even 95%

new%20sei%20sad “…”

jill “…you really want to know, huh?”

new%20sei%20blushing “I can’t help it! I don’t like seeing people sad. I just need to know context, not details.”

jillsigh Someone to whom I said some mean thing to passed away before I could ever see her again.”

Well that’s one way to put it.

jill “Does that work?”

new%20sei “Yeah. Sorry.”

new%20sei “Knowing I can’t do anything helps me calm down but…”

new%20sei%20blushing “E-E-EH! I mean…it’s not that I wouldn’t help! I just…”

jill “Calm down. I get it.”

new%20sei “I can’t contain myself when I see people in need.”

new%20sei “But I’ve learned that there are times when you just can’t do anything…and that’s kinda fine.”

That’s…a bit of a morally dubious outlook on life, but hopefully I’m just misreading that.

new%20sei “Thank god I learned that, otherwise I would’ve gone insane ages ago.”

jill “You’re a good person, Sei.”

new%20sei%20smiling “Nah, I’m just an annoying girl.”

new%20sei%20smiling “Still, if there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.”

new%20sei%20smiling “I have broken bones but that doesn’t mean I can’t offer emotional support.”

jill “You could always order another drink.”

I don’t think that constitutes emotional support, Jill.

new%20sei “Oh yeah! That! Let’s do that.”

new%20sei “Get me something cold, please.”

jill “Alright.”

As always, use opportunities like these to make the most expensive drink you can.

jill “It’s pretty cold outside though.”

I’m the kind of person that eats ice cream in the winter so I don’t really see a problem with that.

new%20sei “Yeah, but I don’t like hot or warm drinks.”

new%20sei “They make me feel nauseous.”

new%20sei “You know what cheers me up?”


jill “What?”

new%20sei “Singing. Hearing people sing helps too.”

That too, I guess.

jill “Do you sing? I mean…did you take singing lessons or something?”

new%20sei “Nope. People have told me my voice is pretty nasty, actually. But they’ve also told me I’m good with the harmonica.”

jill “So you play the harmonica?”

new%20sei “I needed something to do some breathing exercises with, and a harmonica is a lot smaller than a tuba.”

new%20sei%20smiling “And I guess if you practice enough, you become decent.”

Pretty sure this is a universal piece of advice.

jill “That’s something I didn’t expect.”

new%20sei%20smiling “I hear that a lot. I know I don’t look like the musical type.”

jill “I used to play the violin. Right until I was…16 or so.”

new%20sei “Really? Can you still play?”

jill ”Fuck no.”

jill “The violin’s at my mom’s house, so I don’t have it with me.”

jill “But I guess I could. It’s one of those things you don’t forget easily.”

new%20sei “Why did you stop?”

jill “I don’t know. One day, I just felt like stopping. No deep reason behind it.”

new%20sei “Just like me and cooking!”

Hot take: cooking is great and you should learn to how to cook if you can.

new%20sei “That…and almost burning my place up.”

While attempting to make a bowl of cereal, I’d imagine.

jill “…”

jill “When’s Stella coming?”

new%20sei “Now that you mention it, she’s a bit late. Let me call her.”


Extremely tempted to reference a now outdated meme, but I won’t.

jill “Back.”

jill “I still feel like kicking myself, make no mistake.”

Internalizing it is the first step to…something, I guess?

jill “…but I guess I cooled down a bit.”

jill “Sei helped a lot with that one, though. I just can’t stay mad when I see her.”

jill “Speaking of which, where is she?”

stella “The way you are right now, it feels like I should be protecting you.”

new%20sei “Hey! The only thing hindering me is the broken arm. I’ve gone into burning buildings with a 2cm deep cut.”

stella “Yeah, I remember that one. 1mm more and you would’ve lost the motor function in your arm.”

jill “Welcome.”

jill “What’s this about protecting who?”

new%20sei “Yeah, um… I’m sort of like Stella’s unofficial bodyguard. But I’m not really fit for such duties right now.”

stella “My father insists I go everywhere with protection. So most of the time I only ask Sei if she feels like going out.”

stella “She’s trained to deal with the kind of things that bodyguards deal with anyway.”

stella%20smiling “And she’s more fun to hang around with too.”

Honestly they should’ve just made a game about these two instead.

jill “So I’m assuming that gorilla outside is a bodyguard?”

new%20sei%20smiling “That’s Buster. Pretty cool guy. He played football professionally until he lost his leg in a demolition derby.”

stella%20annoyed “We’ve offered him an implant surgery for all his years of service, but he rejects it every time.”

new%20sei “Well, he got used to the replacement he’s using, so maybe it’s for the best.”

stella “It’s a thick oak branch on a metal bowl tied to his stump.”

Honestly, that kinda kicks ass.

new%20sei “And yet he can still run faster than me with it.”

stella “True.”

jill “Do you want something?”

new%20sei “I’m fine right now.”

stella “A Brandtini. A big one. I’m in a good mood.”

stella%20annoyed “After all these years, I still don’t get why the finest and most expensive things come in small packages.”

stella “Ever tried to go to a restaurant only for them to serve you a really small portion of some fine food?”

A few times. And it always feels like a ripoff tbh.

stella “Sometimes you just want to…stuff yourself with really cheap food.”

stella “…”

stella “Sei, let’s go for some hamburgers later. I’m not taking a no for an answer.”

new%20sei%20smiling “I know what you mean when you say ‘some’, you know?”

new%20sei “You might as well call the place and tell them to prepare everything in advance.”

jill “Can I ask you two something?”

new%20sei “Sure!”

stella “I guess.”

jill “How did you two meet?”

new%20sei “Stella showed up in the park I used to play at when I was a kid.”

new%20sei “We played a couple of times. She started showing up more and more and that was it.”

stellaahem My father told me that, when I was 5, I kept insisting on going to a ‘real kid’s park.’”

stella “We drove for some time, and the park I liked was the one Sei happened to be at.”

new%20sei%20smiling “Have you ever seen a girl in a dress go to a muddy park?”

new%20sei%20smiling “She learned her lesson and started showing up with more fitting clothes.”

new%20sei%20smiling “But man, that’s a scene I can’t forget.”

stella%20blushing “…”

jill “So you two have known each other for most of your lives?”

new%20sei “I’ve known her longer than I’ve known my own father.”

new%20sei “Why the question?”

jill “No reason. You two just look so comfortable with each other. Any other person could’ve sworn you were an item.”

Unfortunately, this game has already met its quota of lesbian couples, so we’ll settle with being really coy about it instead.

new%20sei%20blushing “A-An item? What kind of item?”

stella “…a couple, Sei.”

new%20sei “Oh! Ite-…yeah, I get it now.”

new%20sei “It’s funny because we actually earned a mock prize of sorts for “best couple” at Stella’s high school.”

stella%20annoyed “…Three years in a row.”

jill “So you two didn’t go to the same high school?”

new%20sei “Nope.”

jill “Oh.”

new%20sei “Don’t you have any childhood friends, Jill?”

jill “Childhood friends…can’t think of any. My grandpa, I guess.”

stella “What kind of man was he?”

jill “Gruff. The kind to eat raw Bronson roots every morning.”

I wonder, are those a reference to Charles Bronson or is that just a lucky coincidence?


jill “But around me he, was…different.”

Not a typo, and I don’t know why this sentence is formatted like that.

jill “I have memories of him barking orders to my dad, only to turn around and play with me gently.”

jill “It’s interesting though. He was my mom’s dad. But after my mom and dad separated, he stayed with my dad.”

jill “But yeah, he’s the one that comes to mind when I think about childhood friends.”

new%20sei “Ooooooh.”

new%20sei “Hey Jill, what’s this…Bloom Light?”

jill “A spicy drink. Tastes nice the first time but it gets same-y after a while. It’s also brown for some reason.”

Pretty sure they’re just serving curry in a glass here. Not sure if I’d want that…

new%20sei “Gimme one of those, please.”

stella “I’ll have one too.”

jill “On it.”

new%20sei “I don’t know. I kinda like it.”

stella “Yeah. but after the third one, it starts tasting like sand.”

And you know what they say about sand…I’ll just take my leave.

stella “Spicy sand. But sand nonetheless.”

What is it with girls falling asleep at this bar???

new%20sei “Zzzzzz…”

stella “Well, that, and that she must still be tired.”

jill “From the whole bank thing?”

stella%20annoyed “She told me about everything that happened in there. To be honest, I don’t think I would’ve made it in her place.”

stella%20annoyed “I guess I should be thankful for the nanomachine treatment she went through as a White Knight.”

jill “Treatment?”

Surprised they didn’t have her say nanomachines instead, considering this game loves its Metal Gear references.

stella “Trauma suppressors.”

stella “Basically, it helps with the healing process of PTSD.”

stella “It’s mandatory for every White Knight, regardless of division.”

jill “Oh.”

stella%20annoyed “Still, healing can only do so much.”

stella%20annoyed “For three days, that bank was hell. And poor Sei is still paying for it.”

stella%20annoyed “The disbanding of the White Knights and the subsequent persecution of those who were identified as former members…”

I get that the White Knights are supposed to be the bad guys but the way the game portrays the protestors seems to paint them in a pretty bad light. I don’t even know if that’s supposed to be intentional or not.

stella%20annoyed “It’s unfair, you know? Among all the people using the White Knights to further their own goals…”

stella%20annoyed “Sei was one of the few that actually believed in what they were supposed to do.”

stella “It paid off though.”

stella “The doctor who treated her wounds was the same one she’s always assisted with accidents and emergencies.”

stella “He treated her at no cost whatsoever.”

jill “Well, good karma and all that.”

stella “She’s earned the gods’ favor, I think.”

stella “…but you know. All of that made me realize I might be a bad person.”

jill “How?”

I’m gonna assume it’s all the massive piles of money she has.

stella%20annoyed “When I saw Sei, wounded, asking for help; a part of me was happy.”

stella%20annoyed “After all this time needing her, she finally needed ME.”

stella%20annoyed “I felt truly useful to her for the first time.”

stella%20sadsigh How sad is that?”

jill “Sometimes the best help one can provide is to stay alive.”

jill “Who knows? Maybe it was the idea of coming back to you that helped her.”

jill “And I guess you wouldn’t be human without thoughts like those once in a while.”

stella%20annoyed “Maybe.”

jill “Can I get you anything else?”

stella “I’m good. I should be leaving actually.”

stella “Come, Sei. Let’s get hamburgers and go home.”

new%20seimumble Yeah…”

jill “Thank you. Please come again.”

jill “No, I just don’t reek of rage.”

jill “But I still feel like a piece of shit.”

kim “Hello?”

The original unconscious girl in a bar returns.

jill “Ah, Kim. Welcome.”

jill “What can I get you?”

kim “I’ll have a Sunshine Cloud, please.”

jill “Sure.”

kim “Thanks!”

jill “So, how’s work on the webpaper?”

kim “Oh, I quit.”

jill “…what?”

kim “Yup! I went to the office of that chauvinistic horseblower and told him I quit!”

Good for you!

jill “Why did you do that?”

Why not? Donovan is literally the least likable character in the game. That’s saying something.

kim “I arrived early to my meeting and got some assignment.”

kim%20closed%20eyes “I spent hours doing it, only for the other bitches to come and ruin it.”

kim%20closed%20eyes “After that, I didn’t have time left so my supervisor scolded me.”

kim “So I snapped and quit on a whim.”

jill “Oh…”

jill “Don’t you have any second thoughts? Regret anything?”

kim “I guess you’ll always have second thoughts. Even if you do what you want, you’ll still think ‘what if’.”

kim%20closed%20eyes “Even so, I was getting physically sick there. I dreaded the arrival of every morning. I even almost…”

kim%20closed%20eyes “…”

kim “What I’m saying is: I don’t know what I’ll do, but it’s certainly better than being there.”

kim “I feel…free.”

jill (“Free.”)

It’s almost like this is an intentional parallel…

kim “It’s a wonderful feeling, you know? I feel like now I can find something I care about.”

kim “I won’t return to The Augmented Eye, but I could still pursue journalism with another outlet.”

kim ”I can finally work at Buzzfeed!”

kim “I haven’t felt like this in…well…never!”

jill “…”


jill “What about your family?”

kim%20closed%20eyes “They weren’t happy, that’s for sure…”

kim%20closed%20eyes “My dad took it better, but my mom freaked out, to put it mildly.”

kim%20closed%20eyes “‘What are you gonna do?!’ and all that.”

kim%20closed%20eyessigh But I’m not here about that. Give me a big drink, please.”

jill “What kind?”

kim “I don’t know…bubbly or something.”

kim “If detergent commercials are to be believed, this will clean out my insides.”

Like how Coca Cola can remove rust?

jill “It’ll also kill things inside you.”

So just like Coca Cola.

jill “I gotta ask though. How did you end up working there?”

kim “No deep reason. That’s what I did when I got out of high school.”

kim “Taking a year off was out of the question so I went for the first thing I thought about.”

kim%20closed%20eyes “…but I couldn’t get into the robotics course, so I settled for journalism.”

kim%20closed%20eyes “…to be honest, I got tired of the job midway through it, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave.”

kim%20closed%20eyessigh Too much pressure from my family.”

jill “It’s a really common tale, I guess.”

A tale as old as time…

kim%20closed%20eyes “Did you have troubles like those?”

jill “Same story as you. I just…went through the motions.”

jill “From high school to college, I never stopped to think about what I was doing.”

jill “And then, at some point, I just felt like my life slipped through my fingers.”

jill “Suddenly all I wanted was freedom, a little pause. To stop and take a breather.”

jill “…and my life went through hell for that fucking breather.”

jill “…”

kim “Ehhh…um…g-give me a…err…SOMETHING!”

jill “‘Something’?”

kim “S-Sorry. I just have a dry mouth. Anything will do.”

jill “Alright…”

Same tactic as always here. Get the most expensive drink, even though at this point you really shouldn’t be worrying about money.

kim “Thanks.”

kim “…”

kim%20closed%20eyes “I feel like I asked something I shouldn’t have.”

jill “Don’t fret about it. I’m just in a…rough spot right now.”

jill “What are you gonna do now?”

kim “Honestly… I don’t know.”

kim “I do feel liberated, however.”

kim “Like… I can do whatever I want. Study whatever I like, work wherever I want.”

kim “I know it’s not that way and I know it won’t be easy…but I feel a lot more confident than when I was out of high school.”

kim “I honestly don’t get why they put young people who barely know how society works through that one.”

jill “Well, I wish you the best of luck.”

jill “Your mental health should be your priority and all that.”

jill ”Stay hydrated or whatever the fuck.”

kim “Thanks. I really needed the encouragement.”

jill “Come back if you need more encouragement.”

jill “I wouldn’t dare leave someone alone when it comes to this sort of thing.”

jill “Please come again.”


gil “You should take some of that advice for yourself.”

Haven’t you heard of “Do as I say, not as I do?”, Gillian?

jill “I know, I know…”

:tw: You know the drill. :tw:

dorothy “Hoooooneeeeeeeeeeeey~”

The tilde is probably the horniest of all the symbols.

dorothy%20smiling “I know. I came for you!”

jill “For me?”

jill “W-Why are you hugging me?”

Pretty sure that Dana is secretly some sort of entity from Hell.

dorothy%20smiling “All. Night. Long.”

jill “…”

jill “Come again?”

dana%20regular “To put it simply: Dorothy will go home with you and she won’t leave your side.”

jill “What do you hope to accomplish with that?”

dana%20regular ”Make your life a living hell.”

dana%20regular “Well, at first it was to calm that rage you had earlier.”

dana%20peeved “It was either hugs or a cold bucket…and I don’t promise there’ll be any water in it.”

…just what is she implying…

dana%20regular “You calmed down a bit. But honestly, I know better than to leave you alone for another night.”

And she couldn’t have just called Alma because…? Because the writer really fucking loves Dorothy and you have to know that, I assume.

dana%20regular “At the very least, all the cuddling will give you an epiphany or something.”

jill “That’s some alien reasoning right there.”

dana%20peeved “It’s not. You need hugs. Many.”

dana%20peeved “You need some human…err…humanoid contact right now.”

dana%20regular “You had your alone time. Now, we’re playing by my rules.”

dorothy%20smiling “Please take care of me.”

jill ”Fuck no.”

jill “…”


I feel like the game responded to calling Donovan the worst character by having Dana inflict Dorothy on you. I don’t know how that would work temporally speaking, but it’s a pretty cruel response if nothing else.


I mean, the thing is that specifically calling Donovan “the least likable character” in and of itself isn’t an inaccurate statement. Heads up, I’m about to throw a small essay about writing and characterization at all of you here.

First, a principle to understand (forgive me if I’m preaching to the choir here): when you create something, your attitude towards it shows through. Something you’re enthusiastic about, something you’re excited to create, will always be better than something you created because you felt like you had to. This is always relative. The latest spy novel Tom Clancy’s name got slapped on was probably crapped out in two weeks because the target audience will buy it anyway, but it’s still probably better than the Pokemon fanfiction I wrote when I was ten. It isn’t really some kind of Velveteen Rabbit type of alchemical process whereby your love causes shitty writing to transform into something un-shitty; it’s more that because you love it, you have more things, and more interesting things, to say about it even though you can’t write worth crap, and you’re going to be more likely to want to say it right, so you’re going to be more willing to edit it a little. Keep this in mind as I unpack the writing in this game a little bit. Some of it is going to apply diegetically as well; a character that speaks passionately about something they care about is more engaging than one who just says stuff because characters speak words for audience to make reading at (you can use this on purpose if you know what you’re doing).

Dorothy is the most engaging and likable character in the game. I’m not saying she’s a good character. Or that I like her. I’m saying Sukeban set the bar low. Real low. They set the bar a couple feet underground, then dug a hole so they could still not clear it. I’ve gotten a little bit hyperbolic here but I’m just trying to make it clear: I am saying some things that sound out-of-context like praise, but should not under any circumstances be taken as praise. Dorothy speaks with passion and enthusiasm about her job and interests; this is Dorothy’s strength, because of the principle I explained above. This is also Dorothy’s weakness, because of the specific topics about which she is passionate. Dorothy is at her best when she’s talking about the worst shit. The other characters, even on the topic of things they supposedly care about, feel kind of flat and clinical when they speak. They can’t seem to muster much emotion about their passions (ditto Dorothy when she moves away from the topic of sex as a pubescent girl). This is Sukeban’s weakness, because it betrays how many more shits they give about pedophilia and loopholes in the amorality thereof than they do literally anything else in what should be a pretty interesting dystopia they’ve created for themselves. Large chunks of this game are just busywork for Sukeban. The real “good stuff” is Dorothy, but they set up this framing device wherein there are non-Dorothy things that have somehow taken on greater plot importance than Dorothy, and they need to get through those so they can get back to Dorothy.

She’s also more expressive than the other characters, which is more of the same on all counts. Because she’s more expressive, she’s easier to engage with. She’s more expressive in the first place because Sukeban’s art team cared more about what she was thinking and communicating that to the audience. The other characters were just a quota to meet because someone decided there should be non-Dorothy things of importance in the script. Every minute spent drawing a genetically engineered rich kid with a bad eye is a minute not spent drawing their preadolescent waifu.

Honestly none of this fucking game makes sense. They clearly just wanted So Much Dorothy but wrote a script with so much not-Dorothy. Sei and Stella, Kim, even George Costanza PI would have all been pretty interesting stories in their own rights but they all got suborned by “taciturn bartender learns the news from customers who won’t shut up.” Jill feels like she gives less than half a shit about any given thing, including things she wants us, the audience, to believe she gives a shit about. Why does this game exist.


First of all, apologies for the late update, had to deal with some uh, personal stuff I guess? P.S Chowder I really like your latest reply and agree with your points! (Well, besides the dystopian setting, but you’ll see more on that below.)

Can’t stop playing this game.

gorgeous graphics
innovative and addictive battle system
fun dating minigames
cute girls
dat fucking music

Is this the GOAT?

Dunno, do you like the goat girl?


I’m going to marry a Goat!

It’s an alright game. 8/10 at most.

Shit game.

No, it’s a shitty game for idiot waifubots like you

I wish this waifu=bad game meme would die

it’s a stupid game pandering to idiots, what’s there to discuss

Are we being raided by normies?

m-muh normies!

fuck off.

fun things are fun

You’re not allowed to have fun with videogames.

This thread is closed

Halloween was back in October, but this terrifying tale didn’t become popular until now.

Reports say that Lilim across the city have been receiving strange transmissions, with messages that are confusing at best and threatening at worst.

The contents are not clear, as most of the Lilim can’t remember exactly what they had heard. But the most mysterious thing of all is perhaps the fact that the Lilim could not record any of these messages while they were broadcasted. It was almost as if something had blocked the Lilim from doing so.

While we have nothing but anecdotal proof, even among our own Lilim, the mystery behind these messages is one we should be paying attention to.

The world at large is still coming to terms with the idea of the Lilim being so quickly integrated into our society. Some say they can’t be treated as human because they’re immortal and as such, cannot really understand what it’s like to be alive. But most of the Kira Miki fandom would disagree.

”Anti-Lilim people are insane. To me, Miki knows more about life than I do, and I’m older than this damn city!” Richard Show, 55, told The Augmented Eye during a fan gathering.

”I’m with Richard,” added Nacho, 6. “I may be a dog, but I’m utterly fascinated with the way she writes about things in her blog. She’s impressed by everything! And nobody really knows what life’s about anyway.”

Glitch City is one of the few places on Earth that’s strictly self-sufficient, with an import rate of only 0.8%. However, that might change due to the recent shortages across the city.

Prime Minister QUINCY revealed this morning that the government plans to have a more relaxed policy for importers. “We won’t lift the currency control, but we can provide them foreign currency at a low fixed rate. That way, we can secure essential items at affordable prices,” QUINCY told AE.

Some experts say that private companies are no longer working at full capacity, which is unsurprising news given that the QUINCY government has seized most of them, resulting in the shortage crisis in the first place.

Okay hold up for a second. The game establishes that corporations basically rule Glitch City but now it just throws that whole concept out of the window so they can write some half-baked “ooh socialism is evil” bullshit. It’s also pretty clear what country they’re drawing parallels with here and it’s just vile, and tbh, pure propaganda as well. This fuckin game. God.

gil “How are you feeling?”

jill “Lilim are soft…and warm.”

gil%20slight%20smirk “Come again?”

jill “You heard me.”

gil “So, on a scale from ‘steaming pile of shit’ to just ‘sad’, where are you?”

jill “Hm…”

jill “A sad pile of shit.”

jill “I still hate myself, I’m still sad as hell, but…how to put it…the noise stopped.”

Jeez, she reached ‘depression’ already?

jill “I don’t know if I explained myself.”

gil “Sorta, kinda.”

That’s the polite way of saying ‘nope’.

jill ”Nightmarish.”

jill “…cozy, I must admit.”

jill “I can’t believe you paid Dorothy for that.”

dana%20regular “Well, if you wanna call that payment, I guess.”

jill “Hm?”

dana%20regular “I called Dorothy to tell her what happened to you and she was really concerned.”

dana%20regular “She stuttered for a second saying that she had the whole night to go and she couldn’t just leave for free.”

dana%20regular “I asked her how much and she said, ‘Enough to pay for this soda I’m having is fine.’”

I get that the game is trying to get me to like Dorothy, but the thing is, I will never like her. Ever.

jill “…”

gil “How did you get her number?”

dana%20blushing “I have…contacts.”

gil “…right.”

dana%20regular “Anyways, Jill. If you need a second break, a drink or a hug…just let me know, you hear?”

gil “If you need a bartender, let me know though.”

jill “Nice to know.”

jill “Anyways, we have work to do.”

jill “Time to mix drinks and change lives.”

gil “Heh, it’s nice to hear that again.”

jill “Did you say something?”

jill “…”

jill “Welcome to Valha-…oh, it’s you guys.”

Unrelated to what’s going on, but what are your favorite dogs? Mine are Shiba Inus.

jill “Aren’t you a part-timer here or something?”

rad%20shiba “My OTHER Boss.”

rad%20shiba “You’re talking to the great Nacho Tumbleweed Jr.!”

jill “…”

jill “…Boss! I’m taking my break!”

dana%20regular “I know what I said earlier, but you haven’t even started yet!”

jill “Shit…”

jill “So, what brings you here today?”

nacho “I wanted to see the place my best soldier is working at.”

jill “‘Soldier’?”

jill “Wait, aren’t you the dog that I served last Monday?”

Please don’t make me remember the prologue.

nacho “…?”

nacho “Oh! It’s you, Dana.”

nacho “Soldier, why didn’t you tell me you were working for Dana?”

rad%20shiba “No, that’s not Dana. That’s just J.”

jill “…”

jill “So I’m guessing you’re part of this whole CIRA thing.”

nacho “Part of it? I FOUNDED it!”

nacho “Humans have the best intentions, but they just don’t get us.”

nacho “So I decided to create a place where dogs can be dogs.”

Ohhh I want to go there so bad.

nacho “‘Here, we can take in any dog without a place in this world.’”

nacho “We created our own heaven on earth.”

New drinking game for the LP: Take a shot for every MGS reference.

jill “And do you take Corgis only?”

nacho “Do I look like one of those Seifar bitches? Of course not!”

nacho “I’d include other animals, but sadly I can only take care of those who are of the same species as I.”

jill (“Sad thing is, I’d take him more seriously…but it’s a talking Corgi with an eyepatch.”)

jill “Will you get anything?”

rad%20shiba “I’m fine. What about you, boss?”

nacho “Manly stuff.”

jill ”I’m afraid we don’t serve novelty bacon flavored beer.”

jill “…you sure?”

nacho “Did I stutter?”

jill “…alright.”

nacho “Yes! This is just what I wanted.”

nacho “…”

nacho “BLEGH! This tastes worse than my own butt.”

jill “Hey, you asked for it.”

nacho “This is a really nice place, you know?”

nacho “You picked a good place to work at, soldier.”

rad%20shiba “Thanks!”

jill (“Does he really get paid?”)

Asking the important questions.

nacho “Your efforts to keep CIRA afloat will not go to waste! We’ll make her better and better!”

jill (“I mean, we’re pretty much on the verge of closing. Can Boss really afford that?”)

nacho “We have more urgent matters at hand though. Like the fact we don’t have enough balls for everyone!”

rad%20shiba “Can’t they just share the ones we have?”

nacho “You fool! Every dog has a right to have his own ball!”

Oh god the dogs have learned about private property help.

nacho “If we can’t provide even that, then what’s the point of even trying?!”

jill (“Wait…don’t tell me she just doesn’t give a fuck and is spending all of her money like water.”)

jill (“I mean, what with the bar closing and all that.”)

rad%20shiba “But many have enjoyed the boxes more than they do the balls!”

nacho “That’s a good point.”

nacho “What do you think is cheaper, a box of balls or a box of boxes?”

rad%20shiba “Are there boxes of boxes?”

nacho “Of course there are! How do you think they ship boxes?”

rad%20shiba “Tied together?”

nacho “Tied together? Don’t be silly.”

jill (“Unless she’s paying him straight from her pocket. Boss is that kind of women.”)

nacho “This world is filled with all sort of recursive madness, you know?”

nacho “Doctors consult doctors, boxes come in boxes, bottles come in bottles.”

This is some “we live in a society” level of analysis we’ve got going on.

rad%20shiba “Ooooooh, as expected from you, boss.”

jill (“Wait…that theory only works assuming she’s paying him with money.”)

jill (“For all I know, she might be paying him with steaks.”)

That still means she’s spending money, Jill. Steaks cost money.

nacho “So tomorrow you’re gonna check for people selling boxes, you hear?”

rad%20shiba “Sir, yes sir!”

jill (“…except that to Boss, a good steak is more valuable than money.”)

rad%20shiba “Wait, what if they come with foil?”

rad%20shiba “Russenstrauss had to be taken to the vet because he ate the foil a piece of cheese came in.”

Honestly a more compelling story than whatever the fuck’s going on now.

nacho “Curses! You’re right. We need a contingency plan.”

jill (“Besides, Boss is not one to scam people, let alone a dog…”)

nacho “I wonder if we can strike a deal with the vet those Seifar bastards have.”

nacho “She’s always so nice with us.”

rad%20shiba “I know. Her smile is so cute too.”

rad%20shiba “So it’s better that we vet for a vet?”

nacho “Yes, put that on the list.”

jill (“Oh yeah, forgot she knew the dog.”)

dana%20regular “Are you staying for a while?”

nacho “I was just passing by, I’ve got some errands to run.”

dana%20regular “Great! Gil can go with you.”

gil “I can?”

dana%20peeved “You WILL.”

gil “I’ll still get paid for today, right?”

dana%20regular ”Hahahaha no.”

dana%20regular “That depends on Nacho’s evaluation.”


dana%20regular “Oh, I’m paying him anyways, by the way. Just wanted to mess around with him.”

dana%20regular ”Just kidding I’m not paying him shit.”

jill “No, that’s not the problem here.”

jill “Why make him do that?”

I’m pretty sure it’s his destiny to suffer.

dana%20regular “Gil looked like he needed to take a good break, and he’s the kind to just not accept such a thing.”

dana%20regular “But with Nacho, he’d have SOMETHING to do. AND he’d be away from the bar for a bit.”

jill “When you put it that way…”

The best way to establish that a character is a good person is to have people talk about how they’re a good person.

jill “Yeah.”

jill “So, you having anything?”

jill “Okay.”

jill “…shit, I missed the chance to ask how, or if he even gets paid with money.”

betty “Man, I sure need to get wasted.”

My thoughts exactly.

deal “I fail to see how getting wasted will make you feel bett-…SHIBAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”

betty “For fuck’s sake, you piece of scrap, we just got out of a building full of dogs.”

deal “But this one has a Hawaiian shirt! And sunglasses.”

It’s hard to argue with that logic.

rad%20shiba “Hey there, robot.”

deal “And he talks!”


jill “Welcome to Valhalla.”

betty “Get me a Beer, will you?”

jill “Gotcha. Does Deal want anything?”

deal “Okay…roll!”

rad%20shiba “SIR, YES SIR!”

deal “So cute…”

betty%20embarrassed “He’s fine.”

jill “Just a Beer, then.”

betty “Friday-after-work isn’t just a Beer though. It’s THE Beer.”

jill “Can’t argue with that.”

Making it a big one because we’re really nice like that. And more money is always good.

betty “Yeah!”

betty “Cheers!”

betty “Hey Jill, do you like Beer?”

I don’t think anyone likes beer so much as they eventually accept the taste of it.

jill “The amount of Beer cans in my apartment is becoming a problem, actually.”

jill ”I’m a barely functioning alcoholic!”

betty “I had this friend back in high school who made some pretty nice crafts with them.”

betty “I’m still in contact with him if you’re interested.”

jill “No, thanks. The last thing I need right now is more crap taking space.”

Couldn’t she just…take out the trash? It really is not that hard.

jill “So, how are things up at dog town?”

betty “Well, that Laura girl is stirring things up, for better or for worse.”

jill “For worse?”

betty%20embarrassed “She’s…um…like a rabbit.”

Does that cute flop thing when she feels safe?

betty%20embarrassed “An overtly politically-correct rabbit.”

Time to complain about the SJWs again, huh?

jill “R-Rabbit?”

betty “Never had a pet rabbit? They’re a nervous mess that gets startled over the littlest of things.”

betty “And this girl is on the constant lookout, scared of saying something that might irk someone.”

betty “It doesn’t have to be the person she’s speaking with, even.”

betty “It’s no problem in the company, but the other day, we went out together and holy shit!”

betty%20embarrassed “Poor girl can’t speak properly.”

betty%20embarrassed “She pauses every sentence to make sure she doesn’t say something offensive.”

betty%20embarrassed “She’s a nice girl, and it’s sweet that she tries so hard not to offend anyone.”

betty%20embarrassed “…but seriously, she tries to hard.”

Considering this game’s fucking writing, the problem is probably that she even tries at all.

deal “You don’t help either.”

deal “You randomly yell ‘WHAT DID YOU SAY?!’ whenever she’s within earshot distance.”

I sure am glad that the only lesbian character that’s alive is a complete dick.

betty%20annoyed “Yeah, well…”

betty “It’s just that…she looks so cute when she’s startled.”

betty “Like a rabbit.”

deal “It raises up the question of whether she’s really like that…”

deal “…or if you’re the one making her wary of anything she says.”

betty “Well, why don’t we test that?”

deal “How?”

betty “You go out with her.”

deal “Why?”

betty “To test if it’s really me who makes her like that.”

deal “…”

betty “It’s not like you can say no, you know?”

betty “I mean, it’s my honor that’s on the line here.”

betty “I wanna prove you’re only talking shit about me.”

She deserves it, though.

deal “Even if you were right, you have…quite the fixation on that girl.”

deal ”Almost as if the writer doesn’t know how to write non-predatory lesbians…”

betty “She’s fun.”

deal “Fun how?”

betty “She actually reacts when I tease her.”

betty ”Most people just tell me to fuck off.”

deal “…”

betty “You take it in your stride, but she actually gets startled, squirms and gets uncomfortable!”

deal “How is that any good?”

betty “She’s cute and her reactions are cute.”

deal “But if you keep it up, she’ll either leave or get used to you.”

deal “You know…like me.”

betty%20annoyed “Shit. You’re right.”

betty%20annoyed “I must save my teasing for when the moment is just right, then.”

deal “No, that’s not the problem.”

betty%20annoyed “It is for me.”

betty “And what are you doing here? What about the dog?”

deal “He said he had to go out…”

deal “By the way, he said his name was-…”

jill “Say, this Laura girl. Do you guys get along?”

deal ”We’re about five minutes from mutually assured destruction actually.”

betty “I wouldn’t know. We get along as co-workers at the very least.”

deal “…”

jill “What kind of girl is she? Aside from the whole politically-correct rabbit…thing.”

betty “Slow.”

betty “She’s the kind that does things so carefully that she does them really, really slowly.”

betty “Really, REALLY slowly.”

betty “I can’t deny that when she actually finishes stuff, she does a great job, but…”

betty%20embarrassed “It’s unnerving.”

deal “She doesn’t actually have to be with us in the building though. She’s more like a freelancer.”

jill “Why is she there then?”

betty “Because she likes dogs.”

The only good motivation.

betty “And that’s why I insist that you two would make a fine couple.”

deal “That’s a really superficial sentiment. It’s like saying you’d be fine with someone because you’re both women.”

betty “…”

deal “Okay…bad example.”

jill “May I say something?”

deal “By all means.”

jill ”Fuck this.”

jill “If that Laura girl is really as…bland as you claim her to be, wouldn’t she be better off with a more…um…”

jill “A more assertive person…Lilim…uh…”

jill “A more assertive partner?”

betty “Yo, piece o’ scrap, she’s totally calling you a pussy.”

Haha misogyny. Because lesbians are misogynists I guess.

jill “…”

deal “She’s right though.”

deal “Sharing interests and being compatible are totally different things.”

betty “But then, you’d totally be underestimating the power of LOOOOOOOOOVE.”

betty “Whether you want to admit it or not, love changes people for better or for worse.”

betty “Who knows? Maybe you’ll become more assertive after spending more time with her.”

deal “Or she’ll drive me nuts.”

betty “I guess that’s a possibility too.”

deal “Still, why are you so insistent on me and her getting together?”

betty “Because she’s like a cute rabbit…so someone might try to eat her out there…”

Unfortunate phrasing.

betty “It’d be a lot easier to keep her in my sight.”

deal “So in short, your motherly instincts arose because of Laura.”

dealsigh Why not see if she likes you and-…”

deal “…you already tried to hit on her, didn’t you?”

betty%20annoyed “You make me sound like some skirt-chaser.”

deal “…”

betty%20annoyed “…she’s not into girls.”

deal “How did you find out?”

betty “I asked her directly.”

betty ”She said something about the lesbian quota already being filled.”

deal “Of course you did.”

betty “She seemed…uh…giddy afterwards though.”

betty “I heard her muttering something about meeting her first lesbian…”

betty%20embarrassed “It was weird.”

deal “Okay…enough Laura for a night.”

betty “That-…”

deal “Refrain from using any ‘That’s what you said last night’ jokes or variations thereof. Please.”

betty%20annoyed “…party pooper.”

betty%20annoyed “Let’s get a drink then.”

deal “Sounds good.”

deal “I’ll have a Bloom Light, please.”

betty “Get me a Fringe Weaver.”

jill “Alright.”

deal “I wonder why it’s called a Bloom Light.”

jill “Seems it was first developed at some video games event.”

jill E3 2069 was a wild, wild ride.”

jill “The creator said something about making the attendees feel like their customers do.”

Love consumer advocacy.

jill “Said attendees were, of course, part of some big games company.”

jill “Seems that company always used too much bloom lighting, so the bartender there litteraly made them drink all the bloom.”

betty “So it’s not called that because it glows in the dark?”

jill ”It’s actually just that glowstick liquid poured in a glass. Sorry about that.”

jill “Not this one, no.”

betty “Come to think of it. Did you ever change because of a relationship, Jill?”

betty “Would you say for better or for worse?”

jill “…”

jill “In more ways than one, I guess.”

jill “I guess for the better. I’m too thick-headed to develop any new bad habits.”

jill “Although thanks to my first boyfriend, I did pick up a very annoying habit of correcting people’s grammar on the fly.”

jill “Pretty annoying when I think back to it.”

betty “So you were one of those kinds of people.”

betty “As for me, sometimes I think I became more…err…what’s the word?”

jill ”Obnoxious?”

deal “Cynical? Jaded? Bitter? Tired of the crap this world and everyone in it throws on a daily basis?”

betty%20annoyed “Hey…”

deal “I’m just quoting you.”

betty%20embarrassedsigh But yeah. I think I became all that because of this one girlfriend I had in college.”

betty%20embarrassed “She got me into the whole activism thing in the first place.”

Oh boy oh boy time to hear what this game thinks of student activism.

deal “How is that bad?”

betty “We’d all go and protest. We’d start all kinds of movements to see things changed…”

betty ”…like getting Japanese games completely uncensored…”

betty “I really got into the whole thing.”

betty “But whenever I wanted to get more serious, I’d find myself coming up against a wall.”

betty “That wall is an analogy for the fact that not everyone was willing to go that far.”

betty%20embarrassed “I found out pretty fast that most of them were in the whole thing because of some shitty fad.”

betty%20embarrassed “And not because they actually believed in whatever movement they were championing.”

betty “So I moved from group to group, only to find people who were in it because of a fad.”

betty “And when they were not in it because of a passing fad, they were of the dangerous extremist kind.”

How much do you wanna bet she has a Twitter account dedicated to like, complaining about ‘tankies’ or whatever.

betty%20annoyed “My tolerance for people’s shit was greatly diminished after all that.”

jill “So it wasn’t so much the person you had a relationship with, but rather other people.”

betty%20annoyed “…um.”

deal “You seriously never thought about it that way?”

betty%20annoyed “Uh…”

deal “You need to stop putting the blame for what you do on past relationships.”

betty%20annoyed “Whatever!”

betty%20annoyed “Where’s the other guy, by the way?”

jill ”Dead in Miami, unfortunately.”

jill “He…had to escort one of the dogs outside.”

betty%20annoyed “Figures.”

deal “Oh, yeah. The one that was here asked if you were ‘the nice vet lady that works at the Seifar Toy Company.’”

deal “I suppose he’s interested in talking to you or something.”

betty%20annoyed “Why didn’t he do it then?”

deal “I don’t know.”

The mind of a dog is a mysterious thing.

deal “You’ve been doing a few jobs on the side, haven’t you?”

betty%20annoyed “The pay from the dogs isn’t enough to keep up with the mounting debts. I don’t know how you do it.”

jill (“It’s hard to believe dogs pay you at all…”)

jill (“…but this is coming from someone working at a place that pays a dog for doing fuck all.”)

jill (“Or at least I THINK we’re paying him. I’m not completely certain we do.”)

jill “Will you get anything else?”

betty “Well…”

deal “We’re fine, but we have to get up early tomorrow. And by ‘we,’ I really mean her.”

deal “She got invited to a picnic and I won’t stand to hear another ‘had to go to a picnic with a hangover’ story.”

I don’t think I’ve ever actually been to a picnic. Must be nice.

betty%20annoyed “Fiiiiiiiiiine.”

betty%20annoyed “Let’s go then.”

jill “Please come again.”

betty “Man, you’re such a party pooper.”

deal “You’ll be the party pooper tomorrow if you keep drinking.”

jill “Boss, I’ll take my break! Call me if someone comes.”

dana%20regular “Alright.”


jill “Okay then, back to work.”

jill “Welcome to Valha-…oh, hey there Alma.”

jill “…”

alma%20sideways%20look “…”

jill “Umm…”


Barring the ever-popular ellipses, I’m pretty sure that sigh is the word that pops up most in this script.

jill (“She seems down…maybe there’s something I can give her to cheer her up?”)

Here’s another one of the rare moments where you have to remember what drink each character likes most. I actually really like these moments because you have to remember stuff about the characters and I think that’s cute, honestly.

alma%20upset “Hm? And this?”

jill “It’s on me. Drink, so you at least change your expression.”

alma%20amused “Why not just say you’re worried about me?”

jill “You got the message anyway, didn’t you?”

alma%20smiling “Heh…”

jill “So? How is it?”

alma%20smiling “A Brandtini! So you do pay attention to what I ask for!”

jill “You have quite the fixation with Brandtinis.”

jill “To be honest, they suit you.”

alma “Hey, wanna hear a silly story?”

jill “Always.”

alma ”I used to know a girl, she had a dozen guys…”

alma “When I turned 21, my dad and I went to a bar to celebrate. Just him and I.”

The drinking age in Venezuela is 18, so I guess…they wanted to make this more relatable to Americans or something? Weird.

:tw: TW: incest mention :tw:

alma “He told me to dress well enough that he ‘looked like my sugar daddy’.”

I…why did they put this in the game?

alma “It was a fun night. We pretended at times we were dating. I managed to blow off some steam about my mom…”

Who thought this was a good idea.

alma%20smiling “But the highlight was him ordering a Brandtini for me.”

alma%20smiling “I’ve had plenty of drinks and gotten wasted many times since I was 15, but that drink was different.”

alma%20smiling “It wasn’t about getting drunk. The drink itself was the pleasure.”

So the polar opposite of vinjak. (Google that, kids)

alma%20smiling “He too said they suited me somehow.”

jill “Oh?”

alma “Ever since that day, he’s called me ‘Brandtini girl’ from time to time.”

jill “Your dad sounds like a cool guy.”

Does he.

alma “You should meet him sometime.”

jill “So, why are you deflating?”

alma “Deflating?”

jill “When I got sad and started sighing repeatedly…”

jill “My grandpa would warn me that I would start deflating like an old tire if I kept it up.”

alma%20smiling “Heheh…”

jill “So, what is it? Was it the news about people dressing in bunny suits after the whole Alice_Rabbit boom?”

alma%20smiling “Nah, that is old news.”

alma “I mean, it IS a problem, but such a thing would only annoy me.”

alma “…say Jill, how’s your mood right now? I wanna ruin it by blowing off all my stored steam.”

Well, at least she’s honest about it.

jill “Silly Alma. I’ve been feeling like utter shit the last couple of days. You can’t make me feel worse.”

jill “So, go ahead. Unwind all your worries on me.”

alma%20smiling “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Time for one of the most annoying conversations in this game.

:tw: Trigger warning: abuse, general misogyny :tw:

alma “Okay, so…remember my sister Dayana?”

jill “The one that separated from her husband and forgot her kids while fucking her way around or something?”

alma “Perfect summary. I’ll use it next time.”

alma “I didn’t tell you the whole story then. More specifically, that she threw her husband out after months of abuse.”

jill “Oh…”

alma%20embarrassed “However, that woman is incapable of getting a job and maintaining herself.”

alma%20embarrassed “And I mean that. She never even thinks about selling some stuff or trying to earn her bread.”

alma%20embarrassed “She just EXPECTS a guy to do all that for her.”

Something tells me the writer doesn’t consider housework to be ‘real’ work…

alma%20concerned “I have no idea why she turned out like that. Both my mom and dad were hard workers.”

alma%20concerned “They even started a small shop to have something to do after retirement.”

Yeah, old people should just work till they die! Fuck the idea of a retirement!

jill “Huh…”

jill ”Are you sure you’re not Ronald Reagan in disguise or something?”

alma%20concerned “So…what does this fully capable woman do a couple of weeks later?”

alma%20concerned “Why, bring her abusive husband back of course!”

That’s one way of showing empathy for abuse victims, I guess.

jill “…what?”

alma%20concerned “Yeah, and the guy spent a couple of days with her before leaving her again.”

alma%20concerned “He had a nice couple of hot steamy nights and then left!”

jill “…I-I…well…”

alma “Huh, you reacted like my lil’ brother and sister after hearing that.”

alma%20embarrassed “But the story doesn’t end there. Oh no.”

alma%20embarrassed “So she’s broke and can’t even get enough for a bus.”

alma%20embarrassed “Even though she’d probably be glad to sell her ass just to get money.”

alma%20concerned “And it was up to ME to pick her up.”

alma%20concerned “For the last couple of days, she left her kids with my parents.”

alma%20concerned “…and being such sweet angels, they’ve made a mess out of the whole place.”

Wow, kids acting like kids, how unreasonable.

alma%20concerned “Bernardo and Eva are actually staying with me a couple of days to give ‘em some peace.”

alma%20embarrassed “It doesn’t help that I never got along with Dayana.”

alma%20embarrassed “So, we’re in the car and she asks how her kids are.”

alma%20concerned “And of course. After all the built-up tension, I just…exploded.”

alma%20concerned “First, I started ranting about how her kids are growing up seeing some messed-up stuff.”

alma%20concerned “I start scolding her about not taking responsibility, about not taking proper care of her children.”

alma%20concerned “I tell her that she’s in no place to have all those escapades…”

alma%20concerned “And after all that, she just says…”

Please shut up.

alma%20sideways%20look “‘What the hell do you know? You don’t have any kids!’”

jill “…”

alma%20concerned “Yeah, you slutty skank. I don’t have kids but I’m not broke just because I refuse to take a job!”

Love that misogyny.

alma%20concerned “I don’t have kids, but I’m not leaving them in the first barely familiar house I find.”

alma%20concerned “I don’t have kids, but I’m not letting the guy that hit me on a regular basis back into my bed.”

alma%20concerned “I don’t have kids, but I pretty much raised Eva and Bernardo and they’ve turned out pretty damn well!”

jill “…damn.”

alma%20embarrassed “There’s nothing to say.”

alma%20embarrassed “I love my family and I put them above all else…”

alma%20embarrassed “…but Dayana is seriously pushing the boundaries of what I can allow.”

jill “Any way I can help?”

alma ”Booze me up.”

alma “You just did.”

jill “Eh?”

alma%20smiling “I know who I’m dealing with. I’m not one to let stuff like that get to me.”

alma%20embarrassed “I’m still angry as hell though, and I couldn’t just discuss this with any of my family members.”

alma%20embarrassed “I can’t tell my mom ‘Your daughter is a slut’.”

Maybe you shouldn’t tell anyone that?

alma%20smiling “I just…needed to get all of this off my chest, you know?”

jill “Well, from what I see there’s still a lot more to get off your chest. It’s swollen as fuck.”

I sure am glad this game never misses an opportunity to be horny on main.

alma%20smiling “Nah, all you see here is filled with love and dreams.”

alma%20smiling ”And a lot of back pain.”

jill “Is everyone in your family as busty as you?”

We really need to talk about titty-mmm-bop-bop-tittays, it seems.

alma “The worst offender is my dad actually.”

alma%20smiling “Kidding, kidding.”

alma “I guess the only one that didn’t get the big boobs gene was Eva.”

alma “She insists on getting surgery or genetic treatment, but I tell her she’s fine the way she is.”

alma%20embarrassed “These can actually be more of a hassle than a blessing.”

alma%20embarrassed “And poor Bernardo. His breasts actually started growing when he was 8.”

Extremely necessary detail. Especially about a trans man.

alma%20embarrassed “I just hope I don’t take too much from my mother’s side of the family.”

alma%20sideways%20look “My father’s sisters still look quite young. But when menopause hit, my mom lost her looks rather quickly.”

alma “Any good genes you got from your family, Jill?”

jill “Unfortunately I didn’t get the ‘not asking weirdly invasive and perverted questions’ gene.”

jill “Good enough skin and hair, I guess.”

jill “There’s a thing about a shrimp allergy, but so far I haven’t had problems with that.”

alma “Oh, I see.”

alma “…”

alma%20sideways%20look “Hey, you know what worries me the most about the whole Dayana situation?”

jill ”The fact that you won’t shut up about it?”

jill “How your nephews are turning out?”

alma%20amused “If she leaves them with my mom, they’ll turn out better than her…somehow.”

alma%20upset “Actually, what worries me is…what if I end up like that too?”

jill “How so?”

alma%20upset “If I find a good man and settle down, what if he turns out shitty?”

alma%20upset “What if I have a sudden burst where I wanna ‘live my life’ and end up like that?”

alma%20upset “What if I have kids and I end up neglecting them because of all that?”

jill “If you ask me, the fact that you’re even worried about it is indication enough that you’ll be fine.”

alma “You think?”

jill “I’m pretty sure.”

jill “You said before that she pretty much married the guy after a couple of months, right?”

alma “Yeah.”

jill “No offense, but those are the kind of people who wouldn’t even think about all that.”

jill “Besides, if any guy ends up marrying you, it’s because he passed your irrational standards.”

alma%20concerned “Hey!”

jill “Am I lying?”

alma%20embarrassed “No…but there are things best kept as unspoken truths.”

alma%20embarrassedsigh I wonder if I’ll ever find a good guy.”

jill “You will. You’ll know when the time comes.”

alma%20embarrassed “I sure hope so.”

alma “For now, the time has come to get another drink.”

jill “What can I get you?”

alma “Hm…”

alma “Get me something with ice, but alcoholic please.”

jill “Alright.”

alma “Thanks, I needed to cool down a bit.”

jill “That’s why I’m here.”

alma “So, you said you felt shitty the last couple of days. Why?”

jill “Don’t think too much about it.”

alma “Oh, come on! You heard my problems. I wanna help you too.”

jill “Don’t worry too much.”

jill “Right! I almost forgot to tell you something.”

alma “What is it?”

jill “My boss is throwing a Mega Christmas party this Sunday. You wanna come?”

alma%20embarrassed “Sure. Something tells me this Mega Christmas is gonna be a mess at my parents’ home, so I’d rather avoid it.”

alma “Are you guys getting chicken? I can get one.”

jill “Hm…to be honest, I wouldn’t know.”

jill “You can bring it if you want. It won’t go to waste.”

alma “Gotcha.”

alma “Hm…say Jill, what’s your favorite part of the chicken?”

jill “Favorite part…I guess I like legs the most.”

alma “Really? I like breast better.”

You don’t say.

jill “Breast is a bit too simple, don’t you think? Legs have a better texture.”

alma%20smiling “Maybe, but simple is usually better. Breast is easier to enjoy than legs…and a lot less messy.”

jill “Boss?”

dana%20regular “You’re there talking about breasts and legs when everyone knows the best parts are the WINGS.”

jill “…Boss, what’s that?”

dana%20regular “Spicy chicken wings.”

jill “Where did you get spicy chicken wings?”

dana%20regular “From a Spicy Chicken.”

The most elusive breed.

dana%20regular “You know, Spicy Chicken, the shop two blocks from here.”

jill “…sorry, let me rephrase that. Why are you carrying a bucket of spicy chicken wings?”

dana%20peeved “Why AREN’T you carrying a bucket of spicy chicken wings?”

jill “Well…because…eh?”

dana%20peeved “Thought as much.”

dana%20regular “Yo, Armitage.”

alma “Alma.”

dana%20peeved “I know what I said.”

dana%20regular “Will the chicken you’re talking about be cooked already?”

I don’t think most people would bring raw chicken to a party.

alma “You might need to heat it up.”

alma “But it’d be cooked otherwise.”

dana%20regular “Great! I expect you here Sunday at 8 P.M.”

alma%20smiling “Thanks.”

jill “…she left the bucket.”

jill “Want some?”

alma%20smiling “Don’t mind if I do.”

alma%20smiling “…oh, mild-spice. Nice.”

Mild? That’s weak.

jill “Weird. Maybe she got a mixed-up order and that’s why she left them here.”

alma “She usually orders stronger stuff?”

jill “I’ve found buckets that make my throat itch just from being near them.”

alma “Oh.”

alma “Hm…”

alma “Say, Jill. What kind of guys do you like?”

jill “That’s a sudden question.”

jill “I’m not too picky with guys, to be honest. I want them to be decent enough.”

Raise those standards girl!

jill “Not jealous, not aggressive, responsible enough to keep a job…”

alma%20concerned “That’s no good! Do you like them buff? What about tall?”

jill “Hm…”

jill “No tattoos or piercings, I guess. Never liked either.”

jill “What about you?”

alma%20smiling “I like them well-dressed.”

alma%20smiling “If they go out in ironed shirts and well-coordinated clothes, they’re sure to catch my eye.”

alma “…some muscle is always fine too. But sharply-dressed males catch my attention faster.”

Folks, if someone uses ‘male’ or ‘female’ as a noun, you run.

jill “And yet you’re still single.”

alma%20embarrassed “That’s how I like my men. My potential husband on the other hand…is another matter completely.”

jill “I see.”

For a long time I pondered why characters in this game say ‘I see’ so much, but then I realized the writer probably watches a ton of subtitled anime.

alma “So, can you get me a drink here? The spicy wings turned out to be spicy.”

jill “What do I get you?”

alma%20embarrassed “Anything, as long as it helps me with the spiciness in my mouth.”

The best remedy for spiciness is yogurt (the beverage kind), but that’s not really a thing in America for some reason.

jill “Okay.”

alma%20embarrassed “…”

alma%20smilingphew …it helped.”

alma%20smiling “Thanks.”

alma%20smiling “Alright, so. Next question.”

alma%20amused “What kind of girl do you like?”

jill “Ngh…”

alma%20amused “Hmhm…?”

jill “Y-You first.”

alma%20smiling “Sorry, I don’t swing that way.”

Do games really need straight characters?

alma%20smiling “Sure, I have no qualms about saying a girl is cute or cool but…”

alma%20smiling “Nope, I prefer men in my bed.”

alma%20smiling “Now you.”

jill (“Shit, just…calm down.”)

jill “I-I guess I like girls with light-colored hair.”

alma “Light-colored hair?”

alma ”What the hell does that mean?”

jill “Y-Yeah, you know…like redheads and such.”

alma “What about white? Like your boss?”

Ah, dragging us back to that subplot. Great.

jill “…you were just setting me up for that comment, weren’t you?”

alma%20smiling “Sorry, it’s just that when she got here with the bucket of wings, your eyes pretty much started sparkling.”

alma%20smiling “Your whole behavior transformed! You became giddy and cheerful all the sudden.”

Are we playing the same game? She wast just confused the whole time.

jill “…”

alma “Hey, I can’t blame you. She’s pretty nice.”

alma “I just felt like teasing you.”


alma “So…light-colored hair.”

alma “What about blondes? Do you like me?”

jill “Yeah, I guess.”

alma “Let’s say I’m into girls too and I start hitting on you.”

alma “Would you go along with it?”

jill “Nice body, pretty face, and a good apartment? I wouldn’t ever let you go.”

alma%20smiling “Heheh…”

alma “Okay then. Enough tangents. Why don’t you tell me why you were feeling shitty these last days?”

jill “What? Oh…that.”

jill “I told you not to think too much about it.”

alma%20concerned “And I told you I wanna know!”

alma%20upset “Come on, Jill! You’ve heard my problems so many times. Now I wanna help you.”

jill “…”

alma%20smiling “Come on, come here.”

jill “Eh?”

jill “E-Eh? W-Wha-…”

alma “Alright then. Now, I’m the bartender and you’re the client.”

new%20jill “Hardly. The bartending station only works with me.”

alma “I see.”

Well then.

Due to Day 11 being another extra-long day, there’ll be another Wednesday update, followed up by a regular one next Saturday. Will Jill vent her frustrations? Will Alma complain about her relatives again? Will either of them talk about Alma’s boobs? Will this game ever get good? Well…we can keep hoping, I guess.