Summary
: The deed is done. After installing over 30 mods (and deleting several because they broke the game) we have done it again. Meet Pollux, the elven bard.
: Pollux was designed by Salty Vanilla, who gave me his appearance (which he described using a Venezuelan idiom that means “looks like he does cocaine”) and general personality.
: First, we need to pick his cantrips. These are spells that can be cast at any time, and are meant to be a last-ditch ranged option. Unlike 3.5E, EVERYONE has a cantrip (previously, only casters did). For reference, cantrips on a divine caster are called orisons.
: First, a list of all the cantrips Pollux can learn:
- Self-cast only. Halves most physical damage for 2 turns.
- Creates movable orbs of light. Lasts 10 turns. 30m radius.
- Gives advantage on Charisma checks on friendly creatures. Can be cast while silenced.
- Makes an object emit light in a 25m radius. Lasts until long rest.
- Summons an invisible, flying hand that can use objects.
- Creates a decoy that enemies will investigate. Can be cast while silenced. Does not break invisibility.
- Gives target a +20 to their next attack roll.
- Does 1d4 psychic damage, target has disadvantage (roll 2 dice, take lower result) on next attack. Will save negates completely.
: Pollux is an elven noble who is “adventuring” as a bard (read: mostly hitting up taverns), so Friends is definitely in his forte. I also take Vicious Mockery, even though it kinda sucks because cantrips typically have very low saving throw DCs (the number the target needs to roll to save) and the spell does nothing on a successful save.
: The nice thing about Friends is that it doesn’t have a save. There is a caveat, though: if we were playing on Tactician, casting Friends on someone is considered a crime - NPCs will hate you for trying it and will call the guards (if any are nearby) if you are near them when the spell ends.
: We then need to pick what 1st level spells Pollux knows. I go with the following:
- Covers an area with light, which stops enemies from going invisible and gives everyone in the party advantage on attack rolls against them. Dex save negates.
- 3d6 damage, 18 meter range, single target. Target becomes frightened, giving them disadvantage on all rolls and preventing them from moving. Wisdom save halves damage and negates frightened.
- 18 meter range heal for 1d4 + spellcasting modifier, can be used as a bonus action.
- Save or Suck spell.
: One thing I should note is that Healing Word is a bonus action, which I should explain quickly. Each turn, you get three actions. The first is a “move action”, which lets you move up to your maximum movement distance (for Pollux, this is 10.5 meters). The second doesn’t really have a name, but I’ll use the name from Pathfinder and call it a Standard Action - standard actions are almost everything you can do in the game, including attacking, casting most spells, or combat maneuvers like Dashing or Disengaging.
: Bonus Actions are a third category (they used to be called “Swift Actions” in 3.5E) which do not use up your Standard Action that turn. This means that Pollux can move 10.5 meters, cast Dissonant Whispers, and then also cast Healing Word on the same turn if he so chooses.
: There’s also a fourth type of action called a Reaction, but we don’t need to worry about those yet. Like bonus actions, you only get one reaction a round.
: We can then pick our starting instrument. Salty Vanilla chose the violin because Pollux is a gentle, delicate boyfriend but not so gentle and/or delicate that he can’t lift a violin.
:Tav is the default name for all custom characters - this is a reference to the beta version of the game, where the default character was a male tiefling. This is also how the game’s code refers to the player character.
: We need a guardian, apparently. Salty Vanilla didn’t design the guardian, so I picked a design I knew they’d like.
: And by that, you mean me, right?
: Wait, who the fuck are you? How did you even get in here?
: I’ll give you three guesses. Firm Stance and Psycho Force.
: Hold on… those are both Persona 5 skills. There’s only one demon that has both. But you can’t be… Mara?
: The one and only!
: Why do you look like you crawled out of a pile of rejected Haz-
: DON’T SAY IT! HOLY FUCK, DON’T SAY IT!
: Vivienne Madrano art?
: Better, but still cutting it close. The last thing I need is… her… coming here. Or him. You know which one.
: The uh, gay one? Wait, that doesn’t really narrow it down much. The spider?
: He’s insufferable. “Oh, daddy, let me suck your tentacles… they’re so yummy…”
: Why are you here, though? And more importantly, why were you there?
: Kaneko tried to sell my ass out to an AI, so I went for a career change. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot of jobs out there for giant talking cocks, so I had to-
: 𝅘𝅥𝅮 Are you there, Mara? Ready to resolve to change your ways, turn the page, escape infernal blaze? 𝅘𝅥𝅮
: Fuck! Play it cool. Please. For me.
: …Only because you’re my favorite demon.
: The uh… Vivienne version of Mara was done by dxgm4 on Discord. They have a page I will not link to because a lot of their clients are into some weird fetish shit.
: Is that a Hatsune Mik-elf?
: That’s exactly what she is.
: In the game’s files, the guardian is referred to as “Daisy”. This is because of a scene that was part of an earlier version of the plot that isn’t in the final game. That scene was where the title theme comes from. Speaking of which:
: Down by the River is something like 85% of this game’s OST. It is mixed into almost every song, including the battle themes. This is the version that plays at character creation, but it was originally meant to play in the deleted guardian scene.
: One other thing: in the beta, the game instructed you to make the guardian “someone attractive to you”. That instruction was removed from the final game.
: Oh no.
: Someone let me out of this thing! I can pay!
: (All I ever wanted was an adventure. Not a big one, not slaying a dragon - the kind of adventure that ends up in a pub with an interesting date for the evening.)
: (That’s a Gith… this isn’t going to end well.)
: A plot note that a bard like Pollux would probably know: the Gith were at one point enslaved by the Illithid (“Mind Flayers”) and rebelled so hard that they ended the Illithid empire.
: I haven’t read the books, but looking through a couple of wikis it looks like that’s pretty much the entire official story for the Gith. Everything else is from this game.
: (That’s REALLY not good…)
: (What’s it doing? I don’t…)
: “Get me out of here! Someone! Anyone! Help!”
: “Stay back! Back!”
: (I can’t move! Can’t even…)
: “GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
: So much for that guy. What a way to go.
: Thinking back, I’m not sure how this mind flayer even died.
: Is that a tentacle pit? I love those!
: You know, it kinda doesn’t make sense that the mind flayer would even need to move its arms there given that they’re all insanely powerful psychics.
: It’s a trained response. You know how astronauts get all fucked up from being in space too long? Same thing happens if you use psychic powers for everything.
: This looks like a guy who used to GM Pathfinder games when I played PFS. I did not like him. He was kind of a douchebag.
: How did you last three years doing that boring shit, anyway?
: Get fucked, Earl!
: Magic abduction tentacles.
: Oh sure, it’s fine when THEY abduct people with their tentacles.
: This would be some insanely high level magic in the tabletop game. Gate (which is probably what this is) is a 9th level spell, the highest tier.
: “What’s that noise? Is that a…”
: (I’m going to be sick in this godsforsaken pod…)
: The Gith falls, but the dragon swoops down and catches him because these Gith are probably 17th-level killing machines.
: Glory hole! Glory hole!
: This is pretty much what happens when you go up against a dragon in these games. There was an old issue of (I think) Dragon magazine that compared dragons to F-16s when someone asked about introducing guns to D&D.
: Pathfinder added a gun class and it split the fanbase between people who loved it and people who hated it.
: “Shit! Dragon! Gods dammit, I need to get out of here!”
: Rocks fall, and one of the dragon riders eats shit.
: Surprise, bitch!
: “Oh no… I want to go home…”
: “Hot! Hot! Why did you tell it to do that?!”
: And of course the game gives us one last shot just so the cutscene modelers can show off the individually-rendered strands of frozen saliva.
: “You! You there! Get me out of here!”
: Man, what a bitch. Gets a lucky break and what’s she do? Pose for a photoshoot.
: She’s the dumbest party member in the game by a country mile.
: Oh hey, I know where this is! This is Hell! I barely recognize it without all the development.
: And naturally, they needed to sneak a little mini title drop in. Just for fun.
: Stupid imps. They’re barely a threat unless someone’s dumb enough to give them a gun, and even then it’s 50-50 that they’ll point it the right way.
: “Ah… my head…”
: “I need to find a way off this ship. Preferably without getting eaten.”
: We’re finally in control.
: (I don’t even know where to start with this place. There’s a portal on the wall there, but I don’t know that I want to touch that… sphincter."
Narrator: “This is the pool that thing came from - the parasite now writhing behind your eye.”
-
Reach toward the pool.
-
[INVESTIGATION] Investigate the pool.
-
Leave.
: “Disgusting. What IS this thing?”
: Bet you $5 he can’t put his hand in there.
: I’ll take option 2 and investigate, because this lets me show off how skill checks work.
: There are two kinds of skill checks - the first, like this one, is for raw stats. You roll the D20 and add the relevant stat modifier. For Pollux, this is a +1. Normally, Pollux could use his Bardic Inspiration to boost his (or someone else’s) rolls, but that doesn’t work on raw stat checks.
: The second is an actual skill check, which uses your skill modifier. This is usually equal to your character level (plus your stat modifier) for any skill you’re proficient in.
Narrator: The casing is fragile. The slightest touch could cause it to crumble.
-
Reach toward the pool.
-
Leave.
: “Hmm… I suppose I could break off a piece. It’d be proof that all this happened - assuming I survive.”
: Touching the pod makes it explode, and blasts Pollux for a third of his HP in damage. Low-level casters have a very rough time in D&D, no matter what edition you’re playing. This is why I recommend playing a monk if you intend on playing a caster and then switching over later.
: Doesn’t count, he didn’t put his hand in before it blew up.
: The tentacle machine over here heals you to full. If I remember right, you can only use them once on Honor Mode but they were unlimited use even on Tactician, at least as of Patch 6.
: There’s a couple of things around the room that will elicit a response from Pollux. Looking out the hole, for example…
: “Where the hells are we?”
: Definitely not the layer that’s just a giant Cheesecake Factory.
: I knew my boss liked that place for a reason.
: “Not everyone made it out alive…”
: There’s a semi-hidden ramp back here we can use to get to the second floor. We don’t actually need to know it’s there - the game will automatically pathfind for you unless there’s no possible route to your destination.
Narrator: Visions project into your mind. A Nautiloid hurtling through the planes, resplendent with psionic energy.
: “Oh, a piece of onyx. That’ll pay my tab at the pub nicely. Speaking of which… oh no. Where’s my sword?”
: Sure enough, Pollux only has a hand crossbow. One thing I forgot to mention during character creation: the max stat at level 1 is a 17, down from a 20 in 3.5E. In fact, the Player’s Handbook for 5E (the 2024 edition) outright says that 20 is the highest a stat can go barring something that explicitly says otherwise.
: This is a major step down from 3.5E (and especially Pathfinder) where people could have stats well into the 30s by 12th level. I think the reason they did this was to narrow the gap between single-stat classes (like Fighter or Wizard) and classes that had problems with stat distribution (like Rogue).
: There’s a chest just beyond the table with some gold in it.
: The dead mind flayer on the floor has a bloodstone. One thing I don’t think this game does particularly well is let you know what items are vendor trash - all gems can be safely sold.
: “A spell. If only I had gone to university instead of bard college.”
: Burning Hands is a wizard and sorcerer spell. In 3.5E, it sucked - it did a d4 per caster level (up to 5d4, or 5-20 damage) and required you to get uncomfortably close to use. In 5E, it’s better but still not good.
: In scroll form it’s not a bad thing for a frontliner to carry around, since wizards aren’t likely to bother learning it.
: Oh, and one other thing to note: scrolls always cast a spell at the minimum caster level you would need to cast it. This is also true of wands. In Pathfinder you can buy a wand that specifically casts a spell at a higher level, but I don’t know if 5E lets you do that.
: “Oh no. I’m going to have to touch that, aren’t I.”
: Touch the wall butthole! You know you want to!
: “Dead bodies and stone tablets. This must have been some kind of laboratory. The tablets are heavy, but I’ll take them all. At worst, I can sell them as curiosities.”
Narrator: Images of goblins - their habits and histories - flash into your mind.
: Everybody’s horny for goblins these days.
: We can tag items as “wares”, which helps prevent selling important items when the inventory gets cluttered. Inventory management is one of this game’s weak points.
Narrator: A schematic of a nautiloid flashes into your mind. Nerves, sinews, as much living being as ship.
Narrator: A feeling penetrates your mind. An anomaly. One like ourselves, unconnected from the whole. Caution.
: Heh, she said penetrates.
Narrator: Worlds beyond worlds flash before your eyes, empires of a grand design, traversed by ships just like this.
: “Hopefully the holes and half the ship being on fire won’t stop me finding a way back home.”
Narrator: A thousand years of humanoid history - elves, dwarves, humans, and more - flash behind your eyes.
: “This one would almost be worth keeping if it didn’t cause sensory overload.”
: (This platform seems suspicious, but I can’t say exactly how…)
: (Oh, it’s an elevator.) “What in the hells is that? That body’s brain is exposed, but it’s… calling to me. I’m not going anywhere near that.”
: “I hate everything about this godsforsaken ship. The floor is bleeding! Why is the floor bleeding?!”
: Hey, uh… there’s somebody behind you.
: “Abomination. This is your end.”
Narrator: Your head throbs and your skin tingles. Visions rush past: a dragon’s wing, a silver sword - and a flash of your face seen through the strange woman’s eyes.
: Clearly he’s turned off his boyfriend inhibitors.
: “My head. What is this… ngh.”
: “Tsk’va. You are no thrall - Vlaakith blesses me this day! Together we might survive.”
: (Help.)
: “What made you think I was a thrall?”
: “We carry mind flayer parasites. Unless we escape - unless we are cleansed - our bodies and minds will be tainted and twisted.”
: “Within days, we will be ghaik. Mind flayers.”
: Within days, we will be gay. I mean, that’s not going to be a problem for Pollux.
: “We’re turning into mind flayers? There must be something we can do!”
: (Oh gods I don’t want to be a mind flayer. I REALLY don’t want to be a mind flayer.)
: “We can do nothing until we escape - that must be our priority. First, we exterminate the imps. Then we find the helm and take control of the ship.”
: (What imps?)
: (Oh. Those.)
: “We will address the matter of a cure for this infection once we reach the Material Plane.”
: The Material Plane (usually called the “Prime Material Plane”) is the regular world in most D&D settings. There are also the elemental planes (fire, water, air, earth, cheese), Hell, the Abyss, the Celestial Plane, and the Astral Plane.
: Most of those are survivable if you get sent there, except (usually) for Hell and the Abyss which are normally equivalent to character death. Well, I guess unless it’s…
: DON’T SAY IT!
: I was going to say unless it’s like that one time where I GMed one of the hardest PFS scenarios and sent a guy to Hell only for the player (this huge fucking biker) to look at me and go “Nah, I plane shift out.”
: Oh. I thought it was going to be another reference. Carry on.
: Here’s our first fight. Every fight opens with everyone involved rolling initiative - unless your party is split up or you have someone in stealth.
: In this case, you can see the imps rolling negative 19s and negative 20s - that’s not normally possible. This is a scripted encounter that’s meant to be a tutorial, but I have those turned off.
: When I played this the first time, I thought the game was intentionally screwing me on initiative rolls because none of my characters ever rolled over a 4 or so. The reason is that 5E switched from using a D20 for initiative to a D4.
: That’s probably why 5E isn’t selling nearly as well as Pathfinder is, from what I’ve heard. In fact, I’m going to do an optional bit after this that will explain a little of that.
: “I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name. I appear to have forgotten my sword at the pub, so I’m going to tactically retreat. I DON’T WANT TO DIE!”
: Pollux has a whopping 90% chance to hit, which would be a lot lower (closer to 50%) if we were on Tactician.
: “You know what, I’ll just stand further back. Those imps look nasty.”
: Oh, come on! I could kill all of them in one spell. A grade schooler could probably kill those!
: Pollux runs back as fast as his long elven legs can carry him, until he’s used all 35 feet of movement. However… this was exactly the right thing to do.
: See, the circle on the ground just marks what’s called the weapon’s “standard range” in 5E. In 3.5E, it would be what we’d refer to as the “first range increment.”
: Hand Crossbows have a standard range of just 30 feet. They have a maximum range of 120 feet, but if you shoot past 30 feet, you do so with disadvantage.
: By running up the ramp, however, Pollux gained a “high ground” bonus that makes his hit roll so high that he effectively cannot miss - he has a 100% hit chance even with disadvantage.
: The result is that he instantly kills an imp from well over 50 feet away.
: “Did… did I just do that?”
: Lae’zel, on the other hand, shows how melee combat works. You move the mouse near the enemy, and if there’s a possible way for her to attack, it’ll show you a ghost of where she’ll attack from.
: The ghost isn’t always accurate, because the game also checks sight lines and bounding boxes, which means that there are some glitch spots where you’ll move next to an enemy but won’t actually be able to attack them.
: She vaporizes the imp in one hit for almost twice its total HP. Unlike the tabletop game (where you move, then attack) you can continue moving after an attack if you have movement left.
: The imp tries to hit Lae’zel with a fire bolt but misses and gets demolished in the next turn (Pollux just barely misses oneshotting it).
: This does allow me to show off the fact that the turn order (on top of the screen) shows how damaged each character on it is. You can see that most of the imp’s portrait is red - that’s because it has 1 HP left.
: We could keep progressing forward… or we could go back and force Lae’zel to deal with that guy with the exposed brain.
: "Yes! You’ve come to save us from this place, from this place you’ll free us!
: Sometimes, the game will have us automatically roll a skill check. in this case, Lae’zel makes a Perception check, which she passes.
Narrator: The exposed brain quivers in anticipation. You realize you’re talking to an intellect devourer, a minion of the mind flayers who abducted you.
: “Please, before they return. They return.”
- What do you want from me, exactly?
- You sound afraid. Why?
- [Githyanki] A pet of ghaik scum. Destroy the intellect devourer while it’s vulnerable.
- Leave.
: This is why I wanted to have Lae’zel handle this. Sometimes, you’ll get extra responses based on your character’s race or background. In this case, Lae’zel can simply kill the brain because she’s a Gith.
: “What do you want from me, exactly?”
: “Remove us from this body - from this case free us. Please!”
: We’ve got three possible checks: two are based on Strength and Dexterity, which Lae’zel has plenty of. The third is an Investigation check, based off Intelligence, which is her dump stat.
: We could have Lae’zel make herself proficient in all Intelligence-linked skills, or we could have Pollux sing for her. Instead, I just roll it.
: Yep, it’s a brain alright.
Narrator: You notice oedema - a swelling of the brain causing pressure where it strains against the shell of the skull.
: Now we have the option to use a Medicine check to get the brain out. This is slightly more advantageous for Lae’zel as she has a positive wisdom modifier.
: “Are you qualified to perform brain surgery like that?”
: “Of course not. That’s the point.”
: Back-alley surgery attempt: success. Some days, it’s like you can’t mutilate anyone properly even if you try.
: No matter what option you choose, your character just gets a grip on the brain and yanks it out.
Narrator: The brain lifts from the skull, but you notice an opportunity - you could cripple the strange creature, making it more subservient should it prove a threat.
: The game will let you make some shockingly bad decisions - I know you have at least two chances to permanently kill every party member. We definitely do not want to harm the brain.
: “We are free. Our freedom is ours. Friend.”
Narrator: The creature pauses, listening. Something behind your eye seizes in recognition.
: “We must go to the helm. At the helm we are needed.”
- All right, let’s go.
- What’s at the helm?
- I helped you once, but that’s all I can do.
- I’ll go - but not with you.
- What should I call you?
- Attack the brain.
: “Let’s get moving before this entire ship collapses. Hold on, I just realized I never caught your name. I am Pollux. And you are…?”
Lae’zel
Lae’zel was raised ready for a life amongst the stars, mercilessly conquering the cosmos as a githyanki soldier. Grounded, she must deal with a world she doesn’t understand, and find a way to serve her people in a plane that despises her militant kin.
: Lae’zel is a fighter, and as we already know that fighter is the best martial class, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that she’s one of the most commonly-used characters (at least, from what I’ve seen of people playing this game).
: It’s a little hard to see, but all of the character intros start with the character being limp and then getting surrounded by the same psychic energy we saw between Pollux and Lae’zel earlier before they start talking.
: “Since I was born in the cold reaches of Wildspace, I have known but one purpose: to wield a silver sword and ride a red dragon in service of my regent, the githyanki queen Vlaakith.”
: “My first step on this path is to slay a mind flayer and bring its head to my queen. There is no flesh I will not carve and no barrier I will not shatter to see it done.”
: “I am the one who sunders. I am the Undying Queen’s most unshakeable warrior. I am Lae’zel of K’liir.”
: Us isn’t a full party member, but will instead “attach” to someone and follow them around. If you do choose to cripple it, it has significantly lowered stats.
: (At the very least, I can probably teach it to do tricks. Or I could sell it.)
: Or you could send it in first so that it takes all the damage. Kind of like that radio asshole.
: "That looks like a lot of bodies down there. Are we really sure we want to go this way?’
: More bodies means more loot.
: “I’m not touching that. What if it’s just playing dead?”
: Pollux has Lae’zel loot the room for him. There are a bunch of corpses in here with useful items.
: The dead mind flayer has a void bulb, which is a grenade that pulls things (and people) to wherever it lands. It also has a potion of healing, which we want Pollux to take.
: Two of the bodies have light crossbows on them. These are a straight upgrade to both the shortbow Lae’zel carries and Pollux’s hand crossbow (at least for now).
: The downside to a light crossbow over a hand crossbow is that a light crossbow is two-handed. Two hand crossbows will out-damage a light crossbow by a significant margin.
: “A sword! It’s not my sword, but it’ll do. Can you grab that for me?”
: It’s on top of the body. You don’t even need to touch the body to pick it up.
: There’s another restoration pod here that… I honestly don’t know why it exists. I guess it’s there in case you’re on Honor.
: “The nautiloid won’t withstand these dragon attacks for long. Forward!”
: “Ah! A proper sword. I’ll put this other one in the sell pile.”
: There’s one other thing we should do before we leave this area, but we should make some progress first. We can come back for it.
: (Don’t look at the veins… don’t look at the veins…)
: “Why did they put these horrific vein-webs all over? Can’t they all fly?”
: The ghaik can, but their thralls cannot.
: Because they’re cowards and won’t make giant climbable dicks.
: “Ghaik machinery. I can make no sense of it.”
: (I’ve learned my lesson about touching anything in this ship.)
: “There’s someone in that pod over there! Hurry!”
: “You! Get me out of this damn thing!”
: “We have no time for stragglers.”
- Look for a latch that might open the lid.
- There’s no time - I need to get out of here.
- I’ll go look around - there must be some way to get this thing open.
- Leave.
Narrator: The construction is too alien. Nothing looks familiar.
: “There’s no latch on this thing. How do the mind flayers get it to open?”
: “This ship is crashing. Do you intend to die for a stranger?”
: “Try the contraption just next to the pod - they did something to it when they sealed me in. Hurry! Please!”
Narrator: The console appears dormant.
- Look for a switch or release.
- Hit it.
- Leave.
Narrator: The mechanisms are completely unrecognizable at first, but then you spy an empty socket.
: We can also kick the console, which does nothing.
: “Whatever fits in that socket must power this thing.”
: (Whisper, whisper)
: I’ve just been informed that Mara would like to introduce the sub-goal of this entire area.
: You see that glowing purple thing by the pod? That, friends, is a Hell original - the mighty explosive barrel. Accept no substitutes.
: The proper technique is to first place the barrel on the ground, and then hit it with a source of fire, and then BOOM! Every motherfucker in a 20-foot radius is dead.
: If they’re not dead? No problem, just dump more barrels and they’ll blow up in a chain reaction. Explosive barrels solve everything. Angel attack? Boom, not a problem anymore. Your giant one-eyed elephant accidentally gets the chariot stuck because he saw something (or someone) he wanted to eat? Boom. Won’t fix the chariot problem, but it’ll relieve the stress.
: These particular pods are in the middle as explosives go. They weigh 25 kilos, but do the same damage as regular explosive barrels that only weigh 18 kilos. Not that the weight matters to me. I have Girimehkala for that.
: If you feel like being really devious, you can shoot or throw the barrels to leak flammable shit all over and use the liquid as a wick to blow up barrels remotely.
: This is why we’re going to go back and grab as many of these as we can carry. It’s the demon way.
: Before we leave, Lae’zel puts both of the thralls to the sword. The panel we saw earlier activates them and makes them hostile, but we can kill them with no real downside.
Narrator: Faint images appear in your mind: a brain, a githyanki warrior, and centuries of darkness…
: “Is that a brain… in a jar? It’s moving.”
: There’s a locked box here as well, but we don’t have anyone with lockpicking. We also don’t have any lockpicks.
: The body right by the door has the key to that chest. There’s nothing special in it - a gem and some gold.
Narrator: A dazed woman is trapped inside the pod. She doesn’t notice you.
: Behind the pod is another brain in a jar, a chest with some gold in it, and a body.
: “This might unlock those controls next to the pod.”
: That’s the key we need to get Shadowheart out of her pod.
: This is from a bit later, I forgot to get a shot of the second set of controls behind this pod. Corellon Larethian is the god of the elves.
Narrator: As you place your hand on the pod, you hear something: a presence connected to the pod, commanding the person inside to… change.
: “Corellon preserve us. That cannot be our fate.”
Narrator: The machine hums to life. But what is its purpose? Will it free the captive, or transform her like that other unfortunate?"
- Place your hand on the console.
- [ARCANA] Take a closer look at the console.
- Leave.
: Arcana isn’t one of Pollux’s strong points, and we fail the check. In the beta for the game, this actually mattered. Here, it’s just flavor.
Narrator: Suddenly, you feel a hideous squirming in your head. The parasite. Then discomfort fades, and another sensation washes over you. Connection. Authority.
- [ILLITHID] [WISDOM] Will the pod to open.
- Ignore the sensation.
: This is an Illithid check. I believe the original plan in the beta was that if you did enough of these, you got a bad ending. They removed that from the final game.
Narrator: You feel the biomechanical brain of the console process your command… and yield to it. A shiver runs across your mind… you feel sated.
: “At last… thought I was done for.”
: “I thought that damn thing was going to be my coffin. Thank you.”
Narrator: Your mind lurches into her thoughts. Her gratitude is mixed with wariness - because you have a gith with you.
: “You keep dangerous company.”
: “Dangerous company’s what you need in a fight.”
: “Fair point. Looks like there’s plenty of fighting ahead. Let me come with you. We can get off this ship, and watch each other’s backs along the way.”
: “All right then, let’s get going. I’m Pollux.”
Shadowheart
Shadowheart willingly undertook a ritual to remove her memories in order to protect the secrets of her fellow Shar worshippers. Loss and pain are sacred to her, but her faith is now being tested like never before.
: Shadowheart is a cleric of Shar, who is an evil goddess and Selune’s twin sister. The gods didn’t have a lot of lore in 3.5E from what I remember, so I wouldn’t doubt it if there isn’t a lot in 5E either.
: She has some of the best early-game damage spells, which we’ll get to before the final area of the nautiloid.
: “My name is Shadowheart, loyal servant of Shar, goddess of darkness and loss. There is little more I can tell you than that. My lady Shar tasked me with a mission of such secrecy that I surrendered great swathes of my memory in order to safeguard the knowledge of it.”
: Is this loss?
: “All I know is that I must bring the artefact I hold to Baldur’s Gate, and that nothing can stand in my way. My goddess is watching.”
: “Shadowheart. One moment…”
: “What is that?”
: “It’s nothing. Trust me.”
: “Enough of this chatter. We need to get to the helm - now.”
: At this point, we can go around grabbing up all the explosives. We should also take a look at Shadowheart’s spells.
: Like Pollux, Shadowheart can prepare four spells. She also gets two domain spells from her Trickery domain: Charm Person and Disguise Self, which are always prepared.
: Unlike Pollux, Shadowheart doesn’t need to learn spells. She has access to the entire Cleric spell list. Let’s look at a couple of the ones she has that we haven’t seen yet. First, the cantrips.
- Adds 1d4 to any ability check.
- 1d8 damage, 60 foot range.
- Adds 1d4 to saves. Needs concentration. Useless.
: Now let’s look at her first-level spells. I’m only going to talk about ones Pollux doesn’t have.
- Shoots a man before throwing him out of a plane Hits up to three creatures, giving them a 1d4 penalty to attack rolls and saves. Save negates. Dogshit.
- Gives up to three allies a 1d4 bonus to attack rolls and saves. Requires concentration and is therefore useless.
- Commands a single creature to flee, move closer, freeze, drop to the ground, or drop its weapon. Wisdom save negates. Has limitations.
- Creates or destroys water in a 13-foot radius. Used to be a cantrip in 3.5E. Mostly used to boost lightning spells.
- Touch spell. Heals for 1d8 + Wisdom modifier. Bad.
- 4d6 Radiant damage, 60 foot range. Next attack against the target has advantage. DOES NOT PROVIDE A SAVE.
- Touch spell. 3d10 Necrotic damage, which is commonly resisted. Highest-damage level 1 spell in the game.
- Protects against aberrations, celestials, elementals, fey, fiends, and undead. Any of those creatures attacking the target have disadvantage. Provides total protection against Frightened due to a bug. Also stops Charm effects from the listed creatures.
- 60 foot range. Target cannot be attacked unless they attack something. This does not provide immunity to AOE spells or effects that do not directly target the target of the spell. Bonus action.
- 60 foot range, increases armor class of target by 2. Useless.
: Shadowheart has a lot of really good spells even at 1st level. Command makes certain bosses who are equipment-dependent into jokes. Guiding Bolt is broken: it does almost as much damage as a Fireball, except Fireball is a third-level spell. Fireball will outscale it eventually.
: Sanctuary is also pretty busted because it is has no real bypass other than AOE damage. Casters who attack via summons can hide behind Sanctuary because it doesn’t break if their summons attack.
: The other door out of the room Shadowheart was in leads to the boss fight. The first and only thing you will need to do is have Shadowheart prepare Command.
: Oh look, a cambion.
: That’s pretty much what cambions do. You summon 'em and throw them at something, and they get their asses kicked.
: In D&D (and Pathfinder), demons can usually only die when they’re in Hell or the Abyss. That’s because of how summon rules work: demons that get summoned to the Material Plane wind up back in Hell when they die.
: Really? You’re gonna let an imp kill you?
: “Do it. We will deal with the ghaik after we escape.”
: “Connect the nerves! The nerves! We will connect them!”
: Commander Zhalk is an 8th-level cambion who can be safely ignored. He won’t attack you unless he kills the mind flayer he’s fighting. There is, however, a reward for killing him.
: His opening attack hits the mind flayer for 14 damage, which would instantly delete anyone in the party at this point.
: This is because most of his damage comes from that flaming greatsword he has. Hmm… didn’t we have a spell for this exact situation?
: “Run! We need to reach the helm, or we’re all dead!”
: There’s a couple of trash mobs in the way, including two imps and a hellboar. I get how the imps got up here, but… why the hellboar?
: To tenderize the pork by pushing it off the ship, obviously. Not a lot of chances to do that in Hell, and it doesn’t taste the same if you push it off a tall building.
: Even on Honor Mode, Shadowheart has a 50% chance of making Zhalk drop his sword. Let’s take the shot.
: “Did he just drop his sword? No time for that! I have to keep running!”
: I move Shadowheart and Lae’zel in to engage the boar. Keep in mind we don’t have to kill any of these if we don’t want - we could just run past them.
: One of the imps attempts to shoot Pollux, and critically misses.
: Without his sword, Zhalk can do at most 6 or 7 damage. Still a lot for this level, but not nearly as much as before.
: “Take that!”
: Pollux responds by critting the imp who attacked him for an instant kill. You’ll probably notice the explosive barrels on the ground - I didn’t grab them on this run, but I think I had room for one more.
: I have a save from right before the fight so I can just reload it and grab one.
: On her next turn, Lae’zel takes out the boar. There are a bunch of dead bodies in the area - most of them have nothing, but the dead mind flayers have gems on them that I pick up. We have time.
: “I’ll just take this on my way out.”
: “Oh no. Not this again!”
: “Tsk’va! Hurry, before they strike!”
: There’s more imps and another hellboar guarding the helm. We’ll have to wait for the rest of the party to catch up.
: Why didn’t you grab the sword?!
: You expect me to carry that thing and run at the same time?!
: Getting the sword on Balanced is a bit easier because Zhalk can’t make attacks of opportunity. On Tactician, we’d need one turn for Lae’zel to get the sword and another for her to disengage so she doesn’t get hit with an AoO.
: Pollux uses what I can only assume to be boyfriend magic to annihilate another imp.
: Finally, Lae’zel grabs her sword. It’s a pretty significant upgrade, especially since she was two-handing a one-handed weapon before.
: At 9 turns left, two more cambions appear and start flying up to help Zhalk. This happens earlier on Tactician. Fortunately, by this point we’re already at the helm and have looted everything.
Narrator: The helm’s alien transponder - you’ve made it in time.
: Aww yeah.
: Dragons are assholes.
: The ship shifts planes, and disappears.
: This is why I picked Lae’zel to do this, because Pollux is probably cowering in a corner somewhere.
: And now we’re on the astral plane. Clearly, hell isn’t forever. I mean, that’s the entire point of that show.
: Hmm. I think we’re clear, otherwise that definitely would’ve gotten her attention.
: Have I mentioned the astral plane doesn’t have gravity? Or time, for that matter.
: Gratuitous pantyshot!
: I call bullshit! They didn’t have e-girls in medieval times!
: We’ll be meeting these two before long.
: “Oh shiiiit! Why did this have to happen to me?”
: “You know, I really wish I had learned feather fall right about now.”
: “At least we stopped the mind flayers. Sort of.”
: That’ll do it for this update. Next time, we’ll explore wherever it is Pollux ended up in.
: Gith get medium armor proficiency as a racial feature, along with the ability to pick a stat each day and become proficient in EVERY SKILL ASSOCIATED WITH THAT STAT until the day ends.
