Down, Down, Down By the River: Let's Play Baldur's Gate 3

[Timrod]

Summary

: “So I’ve been thinking. Kagha’s obviously evil, and we need to stop this ritual somehow. Now, we could obviously just kill her - only I’m pretty sure she’d overpower us.”

: “Aren’t you forgetting something? We have high explosives.”

: “But how are we going to get them near Kagha? Won’t all the druids immediately suspect us if we’re carrying around giant glowing vats of flammable purple goo?”

: “These are druids we’re talking about. They’re superstitious morons who worship a tree. I’m sure you can talk your way past them.”

: “I say, what is the meaning of all of this? Am I going to have to execute a child again?”

: “Oh, I’m sorry. This is a, uh.. lightweight elven juice cleanse I made. It’s all natural. Purges the bad stuff right out of you.”

: “Do juice cleanses.. normally require you to drink this much juice? What kind of fruit is this juice from?”

: I call it dumb bitch juice.

: I feel like being destroyed in a fiery explosion is about as clean as your colon’s going to get.

Sentry: The time has come. Remove the outsiders!

: Now that Kagha is dead, we have to kill everyone else in this room before we can go outside. This includes Rath, who joins the fight even though it doesn’t really make sense for him to.

: At this point, we have to mop up the remaining druids. On this version of the genocide route, the tieflings are on our side.

: “I knew Kagha had twisted them, but for so many to turn on us… thank you for standing with us. I need to check on my people, but come see me when you have a chance.”

: Most of his people are lying facedown in a giant pool of blood. This technically resolves the entire quest: Kagha is dead and the remaining tieflings can leave whenever.

: This isn’t the real genocide route, though. That happens if we decide to simply blow the druids doing the ritual up before even meeting Kagha.

: “Hey, you! Fuckstick! What’s this purple shit?”

: “Juice cleanse!”

: Boom! When you get to hell, tell Lucifer I sent you! He’d get a kick out of that.

: This is the point at which the game starts breaking. One of the tieflings sees us blow up the guards, and attempts to arrest us.

: The druid trader also runs halfway across the camp for no good reason to join in. Most of the tieflings have single-digit HP on balanced and are not a threat.

: We kill Arabella’s parents because they want to kill us. Note that the druids in the circle don’t give a shit.

: "Juice cleanse!’

: Pollux and Astarion kill off the last druid in the circle.

Sentry: The outlander serves Zevlor!

Sentry: The time has come. Remove the outsiders!

: This druid goes Hotline Miami on the tiefling. However, the game bugs: we don’t actually fight anything else.

: For some reason, the remaining tieflings and druids - including Kagha and Nettie - run back over here and start killing each other.

: Soon, everyone is dead.

: This still resolves the quest. Our job here is done.