Astrid and the Hollow Heart [CYOA]

Let's Plays The Twilight LPZone
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109

Okay now that I’m home and I’ve got good internet again and I can finally THINK on this, here we go:
Information I’m willing to give:

First, I tell them some basic facts:

  1. Flossing is useless.
  2. Toilet paper goes under, not over.
  3. Coal or wood is better than gas for grilling.

https://twitter.com/dril/status/473265809079693312

Then, I tell them about humans, since they might not know much about us:

  1. We are mortal and die permanently.
  2. We have poor vision in the dark.
  3. Our fingernails, toe nails, and hair is all made of the same stuff.
  4. We use the same stuff our teeth are made out of as jewlery.
  5. We innately walk in large circles and have a difficult time walking straight lines for a long time.
  6. We need to cook our meat before eating it.
  7. Most Asian and Black people are lactose intolerant.
  8. We hate each other for the most insignificant and superficial reasons.
  9. We came up with the idea of borders, territory and property seemingly because we need excuses to kill each other.
  10. Our worst invention was religion.

Next, I tell them I know a great deal about human civilization and farming/ranching, which they might not be unfamiliar with such as:

  1. If you dig deep enough into the earth you can sometimes find water, ore, the remains of animals or minerals.
  2. Ore must be melted to be shaped into tools, it often has impurities so projects can require a lot of materials.
  3. You have to file the hooves and horns of domestic ranch animals because they are not active enough to wear their hooves down naturally and their horns are dangerous.
  4. Sheep can only be shorn once or twice a year.
  5. Rice is more economical than corn. Both are hard on the soil.
  6. Capitalism is specifically designed to enrich a small number of people while exploiting as many people as possible.

Then, I’ll tell them some things about myself since I am the biggest mystery to them:

  1. I can play the (I assume) kazoo (since Other won and the other Other voter didn’t specify.)
  2. My favorite gemstone is amber.
  3. Ferrets are my favorite animal.
  4. Fall is my favorite season.
  5. I’m left handed.
  6. I love the scent of pine.
  7. I’ve loved and been loved.
  8. I’ve killed before.
  9. I don’t believe in God(s).
  10. I don’t fear spiders.

Next, I’ll trade them world building in the form of pointing out the star lit sky to them and making up half a dozen constellations and stories about them.


They say Absorn the Never-Lost sacrificed his beloved cat Ryla rather than let old age take her. Since she had ever been his guide he gods saw to it that she ever lit the sky to guide the way for travelers.
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Two nations, once close allies, fell into war. Ishaq, a brave warrior, refused to fire on the opposing army, led by his lover Mariq. He unstrung his bow in defiance.
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So sold was she on the lies that hard work would be rewarded, Oscla washed and dyed clothes until she discovered her hands were worn down to the bones themselves, and she had nothing to show for it. Unable to continue working, she starved. Decades later, the Prophet Yeshul begged the Gods to mark the sky with the warning of her life.
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Have you ever been deep within the wood only to stumble upon a clearing? That would be the work of Gyrm the Feller who made way for humanity to tame the wilds and cleared out the trees and growing things. None know his reasons.
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The legends say there is a tree at the center of all things, a World Tree, and that the waters that sustain this tree flow eternally. The Ythgrel was a beast of unmatched greed and entitlement, which proclaimed to the world that it was thirsty. It drank dry rivers, ponds, and lakes, causing droughts and famines. The people begged the Ythgrel to stop but its thirst could not be slaked. Finally it found its way to the everlasting spring which fed the World Tree itself and it drank and drank. Surely, this would slake the great beast’s thirst? Surely the Ythgrel would find satisfaction? But no, the Ythgrel’s thirst was endless, but mercifully, its body was not. It drank and drank until it burst, the water rupturing out from its split body to rejuvenate the world its greed had laid bare.
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Astronomers to this day are still puzzling over this one and what it means… It looks like some kind of terrible mistake. Perhaps a warning from the heavens? Ah, but I don’t believe in such things.
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Finally, I’ll reveal a single secret about myself: I’m lonely.

What I want in exchange:
Well that depends on what I can get for all that. I would specifically like (in order of priority):
Gifts in the form of a compass to help me find my way, a skin of wine, something to protect me from the cold, something to protect me from the rain, and a kazoo.

If I still have some points to cash in after that I would like a kiss.

If you want this in the form of a genie wish let me know and I’ll figure out how to word this after sleeping.