He called the press a “bi-dimensionalizer.”
Frankly fruitcake jokes never made sense to me. I’ve eaten fruitcake. It’s nothing to write home about but it’s not the hateful brick that cartoons describe.
Update:
And we’re back! Time to relive the magic of another obscure Skittles commercial, but that’s not the only cinematic masterpiece this level is gonna steal from. Fun fact: This was the most difficult recording so far with more than half an hour cut out of the raw video! Okay, maybe “fun” wasn’t the right word.
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Update:
Part 12 - Cronenberg World
Call Skye-1-1!
(barely even need to spoiler it, my camera’s so blurry)
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I came for the Skittles but stayed for the game’s weird humour and constant fourth-wall breaking (and your always eloquent commentary).
I was surprised to see Skye in the same outfit she was in last time, based on the glitchiness in the last bit of the previous episode I assumed she was about to get a new costume change but it looks like that’ll come later (I forget the exact points we got the other costume changes but I assume whenever we get a new skittle we’ll get one?).
Also come on Skye, give Dorian a break. I miss their weird back and forth they had in the beginning where they were both awkwardly making goo-goo eyes at each other. I hope Dorian shows up majestically riding that white horse the next time we see him to make up for lost time.
The game’s snarky, couldn’t-care-less attitude does all stem from having to incorporate Skittles in the first place, so at least the candy is still here in spirit (and in questionable mechanics).
It seems like costume changes come about between levels, but it’s not entirely consistent since the first change was from entering Zen’jai and the second was from returning to Lynlora. At first I also thought the glitched look was a new costume since it did look kinda like the inappropriate lingerie most female video game protagonists end up in at some point, but no, just random weirdness.
I liked when Skye originally started calling Dorian on how his mysterious behavior was super rude, and I trust that they’re building up to something. It’s like when the Breaking Bad writers split up Walt and Jesse for almost an entire season (I bet no one would have ever expected a comparison between Darkened Skye and Breaking Bad).
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Proud to announce I set a new record for longest raw video recording, but for entirely preventable reasons as you’ll see in this update:
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Virility’s that thing where your dick turns black and falls off, right?
Yeah, that sounds about right. I was actually going to talk about the real-world effects of arachnid venom on “virility” because that is a thing I happen to know about, but luckily it’s not that kind of LP.
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If your erection lasts for four hours or longer, come to this address and give me a high-five.
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google urethral fistula, one of the possible effects of having an erection for to long, then come back to me and see if you still want to high five the guy.
Google sarcasm please.
Also, I’m not going to Google that. I know what those are. Don’t be gross.
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This is why I avoided the subject of priapism in the video. Let’s take our thread derails into anatomical misfortune a little less seriously please.
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Sorry, that was my bad attempt at humour. I should have trhought that through better, my taste in comedy is kind of dark.
Fixed final f’real update:
After two flawed iterations, we now have the correct version with all embarrassing mistakes removed. I’m now as minimally embarrassed as I can be about posting unpopular videos of myself playing video games to the internet! I haven’t posted a video with an editing mistake since my LP of Kameo four years ago, so this was overdue or something. I also took this as an opportunity to rename the episode to something I liked more.
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About spiders not being realistic;
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Oh, awesome! Glad to know I was wrong about that, this is a cool sub-genre of spider I’d somehow never heard of.
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This game gets better with each update. How did I never hear of this before? The Prince was great too. “I drink black nail polish”.
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This is around where I got stuck and was never able to get past, oh-so-many years ago. If I recall correctly the vampires learn to shoot at you and their shots home. Or wait, do they already? Anyway fighting those guys at a distance is a bitch and a half.