Eat Lead: A "Parody"

Mid-tier Gundam name probably is the best way to describe Sting.

I’m amazed at how bland this game is. The premise alone should make it unintentionally funny, but the game is so boring that it’s not even cringeworthy. I have no idea how RealSovietBear endured this without your commentary.

I mentioned this on the video proper but the power ups are literally worthless. They prevent your guns from instantly killing via head shots. It’s fucking awful.

Also, and this is important and I almost forgot it: they did a Die Hard reference in this video. How could they?

I just figured it out.

SOAK’EM

SOCOM

THANK

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If they can’t get rid of Matt Hazard without killing him off in a game, why can’t they just do it in a cutscene for, I don’t know, Hello Kitty’s Farm Fun Matching Adventure for Little Hands? Oh no, the grain silo blew up and Matt Hazard was in there, guess he’s dead forever now! If cutscene deaths are covered in the contract they could’ve actually had a funny joke about famous dead game characters or something. But that would require being able to write one (1) funny joke.

My husband points out that if you can beat every game series ever made but one, it’s far more likely that there’s something weird going on with that series. That or you have a very particular blind spot, just take the fact that you can chain-perfect fighting games while playing Pop’n Music with your feet or something and lean into it.

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I sure love when games make a bunch of “boy, it would be great if I could do a basic thing you can do in other games, huh?” jokes. Real high-effort stuff.

ugh

I refuse this joke

I am sending this joke back to the kitchen

fuck

I also noticed this but didn’t bring it up because acknowledging that they did it felt like a sin.

Games are art.

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That’s my face every time we finish recording an episode.

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I would like to get the next part up soon, but for some reason whenever I mux the audio into the video, the game audio is silent. So I’m still working that out.

This might make it more bearable to watch, but that wouldn’t be the true Matthew Hazard experience.

Well I fixed the dumb audio issue that I was having, so here’s part 4 of Matt Hazard’s Bogus Journey:

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That cough at the end is Lynx’s soul trying to leave his body.

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His soul almost escaped, but it was consumed by matthew hazard

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Thanks I hate it.

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Hey, this game predicted the zombie shooter asset flip. If only by total accident.

So… this entire level was absolutely pointless. Fighting Dexter and his incel sexbots didn’t progress the plot at all.

We need to unpack what Let’s Soak Some Ass means because honestly it’s consuming the very fiber of my being I need to know what the FUCK it MEANS

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We needed this. Even the roughest game can have some gems in it.

my dumb ass doesn’t know how to post gifs to SA forums, so this is LPZone Exclusive™

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Finally, an E3 exclusive announcement I can care about!

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