Eat Lead: A "Parody"

We passed the point of no return when the footage was transferred.

I love how everything rezzes in after you enter an area so you can’t know what your walking into. Not that it seems to matter at all.

It’s too bad that this game came out a few years too early to do anything with HD rereleases. We could have had an old, retired video game star having to suit up again and bumble his way through his old classics. I’d say it would have been interesting, but I feel like the team that made this would never have made anything worth looking at beyond seeing how bad it is.

You wondered how this game would treat modern gaming. I think I know exactly how this game would tackle “walking simulators.”

You’re switched to first person and have to cross an outside area. It’s empty.

VO Woman: “Isn’t this an aesthetically pleasing and calming experience?”

Flint Ironstag: “This sucks!”

enemies spawn in immediately

Joke over, rest of level commences.

I really just want to point out how good of a name “Flint Ironstag” is.

So there’s some audio de-sync between the game audio and footage in the first 2 episodes and I’m honestly baffled as to why. It most likely happened when I ripped the audio so I could do all the auto-ducking, but aside from that I never did anything else too it.

I’ll see if I can fix it and upload the corrected files.

But until I do that, here’s a stupid joke we made but for real:
Eat Swords: The Return of Uncles

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According to Wiki the devs mostly made license shovelware based on children’s shows and movies before this - and since the IP failed, after it - so the “ruin through kid-friendly games” deal smacks of self-loathing.

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The idea of creating a fictional character that has a fictional publication history in the real world reminds me of the Marvel character The Sentry.

image

But instead of creating a good character with a cool storyline, they made…this.

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I only remember one thing about this game, but I don’t know if it even made it into the final version, so instead I’ll lament the fact that the whole “other IPs put out by our publisher are in danger” angle could have been a lot more interesting if we knew more about the randos whose home turf Hazard’s stomping around in. A pity the creators are apparently too ashamed of working on kiddie fare to go for jokes like how Matt hasn’t seen these people since the last time they played water balloon tennis-golf or what have you.

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It took me entirely too long to notice that the video was getting larger…

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And here I was thinking that I should have made it get larger, faster.

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It’s timed pretty much perfectly, it’s fantastic.

Less fantastic: Jesus christ Cold Steel is disgusting. I was…kind of okay with it until they started using things that still had their head attached. That was fucking disgusting.

yeah all their best videos are battle axes attacking trash cans filled with gatorade tbh

I just can’t get over how they’re all dressed in like business casual to demo that stuff.

You’ve gotta dress in the clothes you’ll wear when you’re defending yourself.

Are you ready to ruin your weekend by watching another Eat Lead video? No? Too bad!

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Hearing Bojack say those lame-ass lines kills my soul, word by word.

Maybe it’s just pre-emptive retribution for that awful Arrested Development interview :chuckle:

oh god i didnt even realize that was will arnett

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NO I CANT HEAR YOU BLING BLONG BLING BLONG