Kung Fu was a front-runner for both polls, so I think you’re all a little eager to see it. So let’s go!
Legacies
The Ancient Master Descends From The Mountain
The style’s original name was Xin Shan Quan, which translates to “Soul of the Mountain Kung Fu.” Puncha Kung Fu is much more to the point.
The Bird Flies In The Sky, The Fish Swims In The River
The Puncha master gets a much more dignified introduction than Bonk.
Unfortunately, we still catch him at a low point.
: Before my time comes to an end, I must entrust to one of strong body, and of strong mind…
And we have our first mission: find some pupils to teach.
But first, we raid all of our cabinets and pots for equipment and healing items.
Here’s a look at the Puncha Master’s stats. He’s level ten, but age has lowered all of his stats aside from IQ. He also can’t level up, so those base stats are never going to change.
Here’s a few establishing shots; we’re one screen down from the mountain’s peak. All of the locations mentioned on that second sign are important; we’ll be visiting all of them.
The Bamboo forest is our first destination.
War In China
The tigers that are roaming about here provide a good chance to show off our Puncha-style! We have seven techniques to demonstrate.
First up is Long Hu Liang PoWan (“Together, the Dragon and Tiger shatter your wrist”). It deals damage based on the user’s Pw stat, and debuffs a whole bunch of stats. The flavor text says it’s “Vs. Fists,” so I’m assuming it debuffs stats that are useful for punching.
Next is Monkey Fist. According to the technique list, it’s an anti-sword technique which is why using it moves you away from the enemy. It deals damage based on speed.
And the last one I’ll demonstrate on this tiger is Squirrel Kick. It’s the only move beside the counter that has range, and it has a chance of paralyzing the enemy. It’s an anti-rod technique, so it’s used for a fast approach and a fast retreat. It also uses the speed stat.
It looks like the tigers aren’t the only things hunting us in the forest.
After stalking us for multiple screens, the bandit finally confronts us.
: You really shoulda known better, gramps!
Now this seems like a potential student. So let’s give her some money and hopefully she’ll let us talk with her.
…Well that didn’t work.
Might as well check out the rest of the forest while we’re here.
It looks like another dojo. It seems more prestigious than our Puncha dojo…
But we’re not welcome here.
Anyways, let’s go back and handle that mugging differently. That event can fire any time you leave and enter the forest, so you don’t have to worry about missing out.
: I’m broke.
: What’d you say!?
: Hah, you trying to shoot for sympathy just 'cuz you’re older’n some of the trees here?
War in China
Li is our first potential pupil, but she won’t join without a fight. This gives me a chance to show off another move.
Bai Li Dao Yi Bu Jiao (“Fifty miles begins with a single step”) is an anti-leg tech, so it paralyzes enemies. It deals damage based on health.
It’s hard to lose to an opponent that can’t move.
: You old bastad, you beat me! What the hell…
: My, but you should be ashamed of yourself, little one. However, your technique shows promise… Why not learn Kung Fu and give yourself a new lease on life?
: But… you still… Argh, damnit, I’m pissed! Alright, gramps, I’m game! I’ll learn from you. But don’t expect any loyalty or anything like that!! I’ll kick your ass someday!!
: Heheheh… If you say so, little one.
: Don’t call me that!! My name, Li Kuugo, carries much honor!
: Alright, alright. Don’t be so angry. Smiles suit you better.
: Hmph! You talk too much, gramps. Come on, let’s get out of here.
On the way out, we grab a few of these.
They’ll be useful for the next stop.
The Ancient Master Descends from the Mountains
Wong Town is dealing with a blight at the moment. There are six fallen villagers here.
Four of them will give you items if you give them a healing herb. One of them isn’t sick, just hungry. He’ll take any food item, but they won’t give you anything in return.
This lady, on the other hand, will advance the plot.
Huh, two muggings in one day. What are the odds?
I try to follow him, but I get stopped by this guy.
Thankfully, we can still hear what’s going on.
: Okay…
: What, is this it? You ain’t gonna make a profit stealing from the poor!
: …
: Well, go on! Get lost!
: What’d you say!?
: I-I did what you wanted because you scared me, b-b-but… I-it’s wrong! I c-c-c-can’t do it anymore! You even made me m-mug my g-g-grandma!
: N-No! I-I don’t want to be a loser…!!
: You were born a loser, monkeybrain! Now get lost!
OK, we need a pupil with that kind of chutzpah.
: What’s your problem you great geezer!?
: You believe yourself to be stronger than this boy, is that correct?
: … Well, duh!
: I beg to differ. You are much weaker than he.
: The hell are you talking about? I’m the Tiger King, and this kid’s just a spindly pile of bones!
These guys are a joke. Any of our Puncha techniques could take them out in a heartbeat.
This is Lion Hand, a disruptive technique. It pushes the enemy back and stops them from charging their techniques. The tech list says it “reqs Luck,” but luck isn’t a stat in the game so I have no idea what stat it uses.
: Dammit…You old sonnuvabitch
: I-I remember now! This old guy! He’s…
: COWARDS!!
: I-I… Even though I stole…
: Thank you, young man. Remember that power doesn’t just come from the body.
: W-wait, sir!
This part is a little annoying because we have two negative responses. Let’s select the first one.
: Yeah, I guess you’re right. A “spindly little pile of bones” like me could never study under the famous master…
He then runs off and gives you the same dialogue options when you run into him later. There’s no new dialogue, so let’s choose the other way of telling him no.
: Sorry but … Do you desire revenge?
: !
: Why worry? You have already bested them.
: Master…!
: Master!
: I admire your courage… I thought, perhaps, that you could become stronger without my aid. Your mind is already fierce, and your will to become strong is great. That is real power.
: Y-Yeah!
: I haven’t asked your name yet.
: Oh… It’s Yuan. Yuan Jou. N-nice to meet you, master!
The Ancient Master Descends from the Mountains
That makes two! Let’s see if we can find any more students before we turn in.
This is the last place to check on the map.
What is going on in this town!? Why are there so many thieves!?
: B-but I’m broke…
: RRRRRRRGH…!!!
I guess we’ve already recruited two thieves, might as well make it three!
: Oh, Master!
Most people probably try to get this thief off of the hook.
: No way, I can’t make a living if my customers don’t pay! Unless you’d like to foot the bill for this deadbeat.
: Fine
There’s no money system in this game, so it’s just a matter of deciding whether or not you want to fight this guy.
Unfortunately for Sammo, I still have moves to show off!
Here’s the last of the Puncha moves that I captured. (The last one FushaNoSha, or “To Shoot Without Shooting,” is a ranged counter that I couldn’t capture.) LaoHuZhiWu (“The Old Fox Dance”) is the best move the master can use. It targets joints, so it prevents enemies from using their arms or legs. It also uses the IQ stat, which is the only stat that hasn’t deteriorated with age.
: Well, that’s settled! You!! Give your thanks to the Master!! If you try this again, it’ll be your arse over my fire!
The Ancient Master Descends from the Mountains
: Why did you…
: I…I’m not exactly smart so no one would hire me… But because I’m so big, I get hungrier than most people.
: You know… You ought to be proud of your body.
: Huh? But people make fun of me because I’m fat. Why should I be..proud of it?
: It’s true… You are quite unique…
: …
: Despite your weight, you are agile. I’m very impressed!
:That’s probably because I have to run away so often.
: If you come study under me, you can eat whatever you want. You will need to do some exercise, of course.
: What is your name?
: Sammo! Sammo Hakka! Now let me at that fooooooood!!!
: Are we finally done? I want to start training!
: I’ll admit, I’m starting to get anxious as well.
: The sooner we train, the sooner I can eat right? Let’s get to it!
: Very well. First, I want to observe what you already know. You can demonstrate…
War in China
: …on this tiger!
: This doesn’t seem very safe…
: Oh my God, I am going to die.
: NICE.
: *Hmmm…Yuan, you don’t know much about fighting. That’s good! That’s just means there’s less for you to unlearn.
: ohgodohmanohgodohmanohgodohman
: OH GOD
: OK Sammo, you’re up!
: Good! A punch like that will knock your opponent off-balance
: Hmm, that kick is good crowd control. But I think it leaves you a little dizzy.
: Very good! Those punches and kicks may take some wind-up, but they could probably hit multiple opponents if you put your entire weight behind them!
: And a charge like that will bowl an opponent over without a problem!
: And a…dance?
: I’m sorry Master, I didn’t know what else to do.
: Oh. OK then Li, it’s your tu-
: KYAAAAAAAAH!
: Listen here you overgrown kitten! If you cross me, I’ll claw your eyes out and kick your teeth in!
: I am Li Kuugo! And this is MY forest!
: …Very impressive Li. You were able to engage it from a safe distance by using your speed to your advantage. That’s enough for now, let’s return to my dojo.
That’s it for both plot and attack GIFs, but there’s one more thing to work out. The way this chapter works, it’s best to have a “Star Pupil.” Everyone will get their day in the sun, but making one pupil more important from the beginning will make things easier over all. So, we need to pick one!
Li Kuugo
Li is a speedster, but she has good stats all around.
Sammo Hakka
Despite his introductory scene, Sammo is a slow tank.
Yuan Jou
And Yuan is a Magikarp. He has really good stat gains, but this is a short chapter.
- Li Kuugo
- Yuan Jou
- Sammo Hakka
I’ll leave the poll open until Saturday, 10 p.m. EST.