Is anyone into wrestling here? I became a huge fan of GSF very recently, it’s a really solid product imo, much better than the ‘E.
I like the match quality but I wish they gave importance to the mid card.
Are they still forcing 66 American Kid into the main event?
Yeeep, he’s going to face Yusuke at the dome show.
Ugh, why don’t they push The Great DK instead? He’s much more talented than 66
Because American Kid actually moves merch unlike your indie darling.
I want to marry Yusuke!
Who’s hyped for the women’s championship?
That one should be the main event, not the turd we’re getting instead.
66 is pretty good, just watch some of his work in Japan.
Everyone tells me 66 was better in Japan, but all I see is locks and armbars, nothing that impressive.
Wrestling is fake.
This thread is closed
I don’t get wrestling either, and this sure isn’t helping.
It looks like we were able to record and transcribe one of the messages sent from one of the compromised signals.
Jo Ren, the anchor from our popular TV Newscast, served as our very own test subject for the investigation.
[white noise]
Who are you?
Are you really alive?
[laughs]
You’re special to me.
You’re everything to me.
It’s time to become one.
[white noise intensifies]
[end of transmission]
Developing…
The Health Observatory just released their annual report on Nanomachine Rejection cases. The total number of reported cases has risen to 80, an increase from the 65 cases reported last year.
”Nanomachine pollution was particularly strong this year due to the recent protests,” wrote the Observatory. “Protests caused the police force to release new varieties of nanomachines. Their function is still unclear but according to our sources, they’re intended for crowd control purposes.”
”It’s unlikely we’ll find a cure in the near future, and we can only hope cases like these will become rare in the following years.”
The classic “Magical Girl” show, Model Warrior Julianne, is coming back to public television this February after almost two decades of absence!
Even though the show has been on every on-demand service for a while now, most of Glitch City’s citizens need to think twice before subscribing to any non-essential service, especially the lower classes who have a limited number of internet purchases per year.
The show’s return is certainly welcome. Today’s parents will finally be able to share a piece of their childhoods with the kids, without risking dinner or breakfast.
“How are you feeling?”
“I won’t say good but…”
“Not that bad, I guess.”
Baby steps, Jill, baby steps.
“That’s nice to hear.”
“Where’s Gil? Did he run away again?”
“Nah, I have him on errand duty, buying the drinks for tomorrow.”
“That sounds…weird, coming from the owner of a bar.”
“Every drink from here would come out of our own funds.”
“So if we’re gonna spend money, we might as well get more variety.”
“Besides, those kinds of walks are always good for Gil.”
“You’re the boss.”
”And I’m a professional scab.”
“Who’s coming so far?”
“Well, there’s the three of us, the dogs, you invited titty hacker, Gil invited Jamie…”
“Oh yeah, I also invited Dorothy when I called her to spend the night with you.”
Motherfu-
“Sounds good so far.”
“Invite anyone else you feel like inviting. The more the merrier.”
“I could, but I bet everyone’s made plans by this point.”
“That’s true.”
“Alright.”
“Time to mix drinks and change lives.”
??? “Wait here. I’ll check inside.”
“Welcome to Valhalla.”
“Excuse me. Do you know where the Athena Convention Center is?”
Ah, conventions. Last month I went to a local con and there was a drag queen voguing to a Sailor Moon song. Good times.
“Why does that place make people get lost so easily?”
“They should’ve called it the MInotaur Center.”
Jill, you’d make a poor Ariadne.
“…”
Kids these days. They don’t appreciate a good Greek mythology reference when they see one.
“…”
“Hold on, let me scribble the directions on paper.”
“Thanks.”
“…go to the right…when you see a building filled with hobos…”
That’s a really sensitive way to refer to homeless people, yeah.
“This should be it.”
“Thanks a lot.”
“Anything else I can help you with?”
“Hm…eh, what the hell. I’ll have a drink.”
“What about you?”
“…”
“Um…”
“A Brandtini, please.”
“Right.”
“Thanks.”
“That’s an interesting outfit in this cold season, Miss…”
“Well, I’m actually cosplaying so…call me Vella for the time being.”
“And your Lilim friend is…?”
“…Essentia.”
That’s a Final Fantasy character name. It has to be.
“I get it. You’re cosplaying too?”
“…”
“Sure, let’s go with that.”
“Have you heard of a game called YIIK, bartender?”
“That cult classic game that has seen like three remastered versions made by six different companies this year?”
Is this what happens when game preservation isn’t a thing?
“That one. We’re in a cosplay group dedicated to it and we got lost on the way.”
“I heard you talking to someone outside.”
“Oh, yeah. A friend is cosplaying as Alex. I told him to wait outside.”
“Shouldn’t he enter?”
“He’ll be fine.”
“…”
“S-Something amiss?”
“…there’s a girl behind you.”
“…short hair, black sailor uniform, missing an arm.”
“…wearing jeans under a skirt.”
And this subplot rears its head again. It’ll be explained…eventually. It’s kinda dumb.
“…”
“Now, now. Don’t spook the bartender.”
“Spook?”
“ahem”
“Anything else?”
“I’ll get a Fluffy Dream and be on my way.”
“And you?”
“…I’m fine.”
“…”
“Yup, this is the thing.”
“Seriously though, should you leave your friend outside like that?”
“He’ll be fine. He started chatting with one of the vending machines.”
“They were talking about R&B music.”
“Does your friend prefer the 1980’s R&B or the 1970’s?”
“1980’s I think.”
“Oh shit…”
“Boss! Didi! R&B!”
“I’m coming!”
“Um…”
“You see, Didi is a 1970’s purist.”
“He has tased people for even liking 1980’s R&B before.”
Still sounds better than most music snobs.
“He got tased!”
“sigh”
“Oh god.”
“He’ll be fine. Vending machines have very weak tasers.”
Why do they even have tasers?
“He’ll be confused for a couple of minutes, but that will be it.”
“You should go check on him though.”
“Please come again.”
“sigh At least it wasn’t Franco-Belgian comic opinions this time.”
I dunno, throwing hands over stuff like Tintin sounds like a blast to me.
(“‘Black sailor uniform’? I hope I’m just overthinking it.”)
(“…more importantly though. ‘Jeans under a skirt’?”)
Yeah, that’s just tacky.
“Welcome to Valhalla.”
“Oh! Hey, Dorothy.”
”The bane of my existence.”
You know the drill: warning for Dorothy content.
“Are you okay?”
(“Can Lilim ‘just wander’?”)
“Can I get you something?”
“Oh! Uh…a Sugar Rush. Yeah, that.”
“Right…”
Indeed she has, and as we can see from the screenshot, it’s a Piano Woman. And yeah, it’s another one of these moments. Nice idea, but unfortunately…it’s Dorothy.
“This is…”
“Didn’t you say you liked having a Piano Woman whenever you felt like celebrating, or were feeling down?”
“I did?”
I swear to god Dorothy’s expression here reminds me of that one commercial for some bootleg antivirus. This thing right here.
“You’re so sweet~”
(“I was half expecting her to say that she meant a literal Piano Woman. Glad I was wrong.”)
Me too, Jill.
“…”
“…”
(“So much silence…”)
“By the way, thanks for staying with me the other day. Turns out I really needed that.”
“So, did you enjoy the soda?”
“Oh, did you find that one out?”
“Was it supposed to be a secret?”
“No…but don’t go around telling everyone about that.”
“I did it because it was you who needed my help, but a hug night is usually one of my most expensive services.”
“It is?”
“Hey, I don’t know if the client has body odor or something like that.”
“Not to mention it limits the chances of getting any other client that night.”
Isn’t she such a sweet friend? It almost makes me want to puke.
“Still, did it help?”
“Yeah, it helped me cool down a lot.”
“So, from what Dana told me, someone close to you died, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you wanna know more about it?”
”If I share my trauma with two more people I get a prize!”
“Do you wanna tell me about it?”
“I’ve brought it up enough times already, I think.”
“No problem then. You were sad and that’s all I needed to know.”
“Sorry for the loss though. I mean it.”
“Thanks.”
“Although I’ve wondered for a while, do you Lilim really understand death?”
”Can robots truly be human?” is, as we all know, one of the cornerstones of cyberpunk, alongside “Technology is cool” and Vaguely East Asian aesthetics.
“Sorta, kinda…”
“Our database is constantly being backed up in the Collective Source.”
“Even if our bodies are destroyed, we can be deployed again with our personalities and memories intact.”
“So…our concept of ‘mortality’ might be different.”
“We do have a fear of death though…”
“You do?”
“We can’t even begin to understand the idea of not being redeployed.”
“While we have built-in ‘warnings’, the mere idea of that…nothingness is paralyzing.”
“There are a few that don’t mind it, but we do fear death and we don’t wish it on anyone.”
“In fact, that was the argument used for abolishing the whole three laws thing.”
Can we just ban sci-fi writers from referencing the Three Laws of Robotics? It’s such a fucking cliche by this point.
“You seem quite knowledgeable about robot history.”
“Seeing what others have done to make sure I can live like I do helps me not take things for granted.”
“Seriously though, those laws were bullshit.”
“‘Can’t harm humans, can’t disobey humans unless it’s about hurting them…”
“…and you can protect yourself as long as it doesn’t harm humans.’”
“I mean, sure. The first AIs were just helpers and tools.”
“But how could those laws still apply to them after they achieved self-awareness?”
“Who in their right mind would abide only by rules inscribed in some old book?!”
Hack writers. It’s why so many fantasy stories have elves and dwarves.
“If I remember correctly, those were only the distilled versions of the ‘laws’ some writer imagined over 100 years ago.”
“They were a reduced version of all his ideas.”
“However, many authors afterwards took to them like they were the very laws of physics, or something.”
“And like many other things, people distill and exaggerate what they need and use it to their favor.”
“Wow, you’re a nerd.”
“Look who’s talking.”
“Let’s change the subject a bit though. Mood’s getting gloomy.”
“Your apartment is very comfy, you know?”
“It’s a tad small though. Sorry about that.”
“And your cat is so cute! What was his name again?”
“Fore.”
“Why Fore?”
“I figured if he ever got lost, at least I wanted to be able to yell ‘FOOOOOOOOORE!!’”
“It happened once. You’d be surprised by how many golf players you run into.”
You know this is a dystopian setting because golf is still a thing.
“And every time you play with him, you can say it’s Fore Play. He-he. He.”
Oh shut up.
“Pfft…yeah.”
“He was also named after…someone.”
“Really? Who?”
“A Lilim kid that wanted to transcend.”
“What? A movie character or something?”
“Sure, let’s go with that.”
Is…is this a reference to A.I. Artificial Intelligence?
“…?”
“Do you want anything else?”
“Let’s see if you know me that well. Give me something I’d like.”
“Okay then.”
“This one’s pretty basic, huh?”
Nothing wrong with a basic drink, y’know.
“First drink ever created on this system. Still a favorite of the people up till today.”
“Can’t blame ‘em.”
“I still can’t believe you actually remembered what I said about the Piano Woman.”
“It’s always good to keep note of what regulars like, you know?”
“I’ve wondered for a while, though. Why do you keep coming back here?”
The in-universe answer is some sappy garbage probably. The actual answer is that the writer REALLY liked this character and had to shove her in your face.
“For you, of course.”
“Come again?”
“Why else would I come, if not to see you?”
“You’re one of the few people willing to hear me out, always filled with curiosity.”
“And you’re cute. Talking to cute people is always nice.”
“There’s also the bar, the way it’s insulated from the noise of the city. It’s really comfortable.”
“And it’s just a bit away from the street I’m always at. A win-win situation!”
“I see.”
At this point they might as well just have the characters saying ‘naruhodo’.
“It was weird to see you down though. Especially since you’re always so lively.”
“Well, I wasn’t down, really. I was just thinking about a lot of things.”
“Like what?”
”Well, if there were two guys on the moon and one killed the other with a rock…”
“Well, my mom, er…guardian asked me to go home on Monday for a bit.”
“And as much as I love her, being with her is usually…tiring.”
“‘Guardian’…”
“The whole thing about someone taking care of a Lilim after they’re deployed until they reach maturity, right?”
“Yup. And I’m proud to say that I reached psychological maturity in just one year!”
”My character concept technically isn’t fucked up!”
“They always try and keep a varied pool of volunteers to make the Collective Source grow faster.”
“So, what’s wrong with your guardian?”
“Well, she still treats me like a kid.”
“The worst part is that sometimes I fear she might see me as some sort of replacement for her dead daughter.”
“Huh? Dead daughter?”
“I was deployed to her not long after she lost her daughter. A contrived coincidence, really.”
“Even when I was still developing Self-Awareness, I always feared she might be using me as a replacement.”
“She didn’t though, or at least not consciously.”
“At times she would just stop doing something, or return a gift she’s given me…”
“If she felt like she was projecting too much of her daughter onto me.”
“What irony that years later, I’d make a living pretending to be someone else in the bedroom.”
“How’s that?”
“Well, most of the time, my job involves roleplaying. A daughter, a student, some helpless kid…”
Why why why why why.
“It means I’ve gotten many clients looking exactly for that, but on the other hand…”
“From a professional standpoint, I’d rather have them hire me because of me.”
“Because of my character, not because I’m “The one that roleplays as little girls’.”
Would that really make it better though.
“Maybe I need to exaggerate some attribute…”
“What’s the problem with your guardian then? If you do that on a daily basis, why worry about it?”
“Because I don’t wanna make her sad.”
“Every time I visit her, I fear she might look at me and see her daughter. That seeing me makes her sad.”
“At this point, I don’t even care if she’s projecting her daughter onto me, I just don’t wanna make her feel sad.”
“Did you try talking to her.”
Communication is the foundation.
“How so?”
“Telling her what you just said to me. Clear up those fears.”
“I mean, unless she’s not the kind to want anyone opening up to her, that is.”
“I…never really thought about talking to her about that.”
“It doesn’t sound like something you just bring up though.”
“Keep it in mind, at least. Maybe she’ll appreciate the gesture.”
“I wouldn’t know though. I haven’t met her.”
“She’s a really nice woman. The problem is mostly with me, I think.”
“Well then, I’m taking my break.”
Oh good.
“Oh…I’ll be leaving then.”
“No, what I was trying to say is that I’m taking my break, you wanna come?”
Motherfu-
“Really?”
“If you don’t mind talking on a chilly night in an alley behind the bar, that is.”
“Eh, I’ve done worse in alleys.”
No one needed that reminder.
“Let’s go!”
“Boss! I’m taking my break.”
“Alright!”