It’s officially happening! What do you think will happen?
Probably nothing…
Last time it was the leaks.
I think Alice jumped the shark with that one because it seems hard to top, maybe more leaks?
Sounds unlikely, I don’t think the government would let that happen twice.
But this is Alice we’re talking about! there’s nothing they can’t do.
What if that spooky message wasn’t really Alice but just an epic prank?
who would hack a site like this just for a prank? :^)
N-Not me ;~)
You’re right though, it might be someone else.
We’ll have to wait and see. What was the date again?
December 17
Right, if only we knew more about the target now.
Sick Meme Sis
These Alice threads piss me off, fucking e-celebs.
hmm, what if it has something to do with the terrorism rumours?
This thread is closed
Today, we’ll take a look at one of the most popular acts of our times! How did she get started? What’s her favorite movie? What about her romantic life
Don’t miss this exclusive interview! Only on The Augmented Eye!
CONTENT BLOCKED IN YOUR REGION
Everyone loves Kira Miki, and Alice_Rabbit is no exception.
You might be wondering what’s my proof for this not-so-wacky theory, and well, keep reading if you want to know!
Attack patterns
This is an easy one, you just-I’m getting tired of your shit, Miss Smithee.
Crime is up 5% this month, officially making the road to Megachristmas a dangerous one.
White Knights, aware of the situation, have promised to maintain security in all sectors, even though recent budget cuts have been decreasing the morale of their personnel.
An uphill battle
Poverty and the lack of opportunities are no longer the main causes of crime.
Criminals come from all walks of life. They will murder and distribute drugs for no other reason than the fact it gives them power. It’s no longer about feeding their families. It’s about domination. There are entire sectors controlled by these dangerous gangs and there’s no solution in sight. This Megachristmas will be a very dark one.
“…!”
“Seems you made it just in time.”
“I think that’s just a car backfiring.”
“Really? It sounded more like a gunshot to me.”
“Have you ever heard gunshots?”
“Haven’t we all at some point?”
“Yeah, well…”
“See? Sounds more like a car’s exhaust.”
“I don’t know… It’s too dry.”
“Yeah, but gunshots give more echo.”
“Ah, boss.”
“Firecrackers?”
“Yup. A couple of years ago there was an incident where some dude killed a cop.”
“He managed to slip away because his pistol was mixed up with the usual Mega Christmas firecrackers.”
“Nah, it sounded too hollow for firecrackers.”
“Well, whatever. This is not a morning talk show.”
“I’m not paying you to chit-chat about meaningless things.”
“…at least not amongst yourselves.”
“Right, we shouldn’t lose time over a CAR’S EXHAUST.”
“Hey!”
“Time to mix drinks and change lives.”
“Welcome to Valhalla.”
“What kind of information?”
“What can you tell me about a girl nicknamed “Crimson Rose”?”
“Sounds like a tacky online handle.”
“Although “tacky online handle” is a bit redundant.”
“Do you know anything about her?”
“Nope, sorry.”
“I have $80 here that might refresh your memory.”
“…”
“Now that you mention it, I remember something…”
“Really?!”
“Yeah. Now I’m totally sure that I have no idea whatsoever who you’re talking about.”
“Nothing at all?”
“Nothing.”
“Man, you’re a sucky bartender. Not having any info I need.”
“sigh Well. First of all, why assume I just happen to have the info you conveniently need?”
“Does that girl frequent this place? Is there any proof that I might have the info you so desperately need?”
“Well, I…”
“And second, you’re not going to get anywhere by offering me physical money.”
“In fact, what are you doing with physical money? Do you wanna get mugged so badly?”
“Yeah, well…”
“MOREOVER, even if I did know something, do you really think $80 is enough?”
“You can do almost NOTHING with $80. It’s not enough to have a decent lunch.”
“Why are you scolding me?”
“Why did you call me a sucky bartender for not conveniently having the info you need?”
“I…”
“Wait…of course! You want all deals to be clean, so you need me to spend money on the bar.”
“…”
“That’s how it works, right? I spend money. You give me the info.”
“…maybe, maybe not.”
“Okay then, get me a drink, but keep it under $80.”
“…”
“Okay then. Do you know anything about the girl?”
“No.”
“But you said…”
“”Maybe, maybe not”. Turns out that it’s maybe not.”
“You were the one deluding yourself into thinking I might know something.”
“And like I said: $80 is nothing.”
“So – I need to spend more?”
“I’ll give you some intel.”
“Spend all the money you want, but I know nothing and no amount will change that.”
“Can I at least get my money back?”
“Why? The order is right, isn’t it?”
“sigh I guess.”
“So, why are you looking for that girl, mister…?”
“Von Delay, Art Von Delay.”
“I’m a private detective. It’s what I do.”
“So, I’ll assume you’re either looking for a missing girl or working for a creepy online stalker.”
“You’re assuming the girl I’m looking for is innocent, or lost.”
“She’s not?”
“She’s half of the so-called “Reapers” of the city.”
“Two guns-for-hire that work for whoever’s resourceful enough to find them and wealthy enough to pay them.”
“Crimson Rose and Cobalt Lily, they call themselves.”
(“They still sound more like teenagers’ internet nicknames.”)
“So, who wanted you to track her?”
“I don’t know. I got the letter with the instructions and a paycheck.”
“What if it’s a prank?”
“I have the money, so what do I care if it is?”
“Besides, considering the amount I was able to cash in with that check, it’d be a pretty wasteful prank.”
“I see.”
“Still, any information or rumors you could give me?”
“They don’t have to be related to the girl.”
“Why do you need them?”
“It’s always good to keep up with local goings-ons.”
“Well…let’s see…”
“Hm…”
“Sorry. Can’t think about anything right now. Most of the conversations you hear in here aren’t rumor-worthy.”
“Humor-worthy, maybe. But not much about current events. At least, not beyond what you see on the news.”
“Dammit! What kind of bar is this if you can’t gather the word on the street?”
(“What kind of film noir world do you think you live in?”)
“Gil might know something if you’re so fixated on finding some kind of information.”
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Do you know something that might help me, Gil?”
“I don’t. I certainly don’t and I’m offended by the suggestion that I do.”
“He knows something.”
“On second thought, maybe it’s better if you don’t get involved with him.”
“Well, this has been a major waste of time.”
“And here I thought all the noise BTC bars have made lately would be useful for something.”
“Noise? What noise?”
“You don’t know?”
“I’m asking for a reason.”
“You’ll find out soon enough. Don’t worry.”
“…”
“In any case, I guess I’ll have another drink and leave.”
“What can I get you?”
“I’ll have a Grizzly Temple.”
“Simple enough.”
“Okay then. This is going to be deducted from the $80 from earlier, right?”
“No.”
“Fine…”
“Come on! There has to be something.”
“This week has been slow as hell.”
“The only good thing I’ve heard is about this girl who threw herself off the roof of a nearby mall.”
“And the whole thing about a woman catching her mid-air makes me think it’s totally made up.”
“Aside from rumors that “The Harbingers” are looking to cause trouble at a bank today…no, not really.”
“Dammit!”
“Wait…who told you that?”
“It appeared on the news, didn’t it?”
“Yeah, but the name “The Harbingers” wasn’t used.”
“No Glitch City outlet has reported that themselves.”
“There are rumors that someone or something is keeping them silent.”
“And even the international outlets aren’t using the name “Harbingers”.”
“They’re avoiding acknowledging the organization yet, for some reason.”
“So you’re either one of them or somebody in the know told you about it.”
(“Wow, he can be surprisingly sharp.”)
“Yeah. Donovan D. Dawson was in here for the last three days, actually.”
“Really?!”
(“I wonder if he’ll notice the glass that idol signed…”)
“I mean, sure. I can’t think of anything that would be useful involving him right now, but…”
(“Guess not…”)
“Did he talk about anything interesting?”
“Interviewing the Idol that had a show a couple of days ago, dealing with messy interns…”
“Par for the course, I guess.”
“I see, I see…that’s…”
“Gunshot!”
“It’s a backfire.”
“FIRECRACKERS!”
“Hey, what do you think that sound just now was?”
“Sounded like something very heavy being dropped.”
“Something heavy? Come on! That’s not even close!”
“It was definitely more like an explosion of some kind.”
“No, you could clearly hear the clashing of metal.”
“Something that was both made out of metal and very heavy fell down. That’s what made the sound.”
“Whatever it is, it’s not normal for it to be repeating so often.”
“I wonder if something’s happening.”
“I heard there were some gang spats going on. Maybe they took the conflict here.”
“Which means…gunshots!”
“If that’s the case, I just hope they don’t come too near us.”
“Well, I’ve got to go. Seems coming here wasn’t a waste of time after all.”
“Really?”
“Really. I just have different needs. But there will come a time when this place might help me.”
“Please, come again.”
“Gangs, then?”
“Unlikely. This is Unicorn territory.”
“They’ve always been a neutral and important third party in other gangs’ deals.”
“The who what now?”
“…”
“sigh I’ll just pretend I heard nothing.”
“Thank you.”
“He left me thinking about the whole “noise from BTC bars” thing.”
“What’s up with that?”
“I think I heard something about money laundering through bars.”
“Don’t take my word for it though.”
“I see…”
“I guess I’ll find out…soon enough.”
“Welco-…”
Fair warning, Streaming-chan talks about a lot of sex stuff and a lot of it is gross. Really gross.
“Bathroom time and naughty moments only available to Premium users.”
“It’s only $99.99 a month. Go Premium noooooow!”
“Um…”
“It’s Friday night, and you all know what that means! It’s time for Streaming-chan’s Escapades!”
“Today’s Escapade is brought to you by Shining Fingered dot moe.”
“Leaders of VR adult entertainment since 2069.”
“Buy a year of Premium membership and you’ll get a code!”
“Exchange the code for a free trial of a VR experience modeled after yours truly!”
“Excuse-…”
“Today I picked the shoddiest, nastiest, smelliest, ugliest bar I could find downtown.”
“And sadly, it actually looks half-decent inside. So much for going to a craphole bar that smells like dog urine.”
“Heheh…”
“Excuse me…”
“But no matter. Tonight, I’ll give you an Escapade you’ll never forget.”
“Hey, you! Where’s the bartender?”
“You’re talking to her.”
“Very funny. Where is he, really?”
“Right in front of you.”
“…”
“Hey, you! The pretty boy over there. Where’s the bartender?”
“You’re looking at ‘em.”
“N-No way!”
“No hot, shirtless guy playing with fire and serving drinks while flirting with you?”
“No sexy, scantily-clad girl jiggling around the place?”
“You’re telling me YOU TWO, dressed like fucking waiters, are the bartenders here?!”
“Yup.”
“Seems that way…”
“…”
“Is that a problem?”
“Of course it’s a problem. Friday nights are peak viewing hours!”
“I need something sexy or enticing to keep them interested.”
“Oh well, there’s an easy solution to that.”
“There is?”
“Yeah. Just take your top off.”
“…”
“You might need to take off your bra too, depending on how the traffic goes.”
“Wait, you’re quite flat. Do you even use a bra?”
As we all know, women love talking about boobs constantly.
“…”
“Is that piercing glare a “no”?”
“Come on! One of us is gonna have to take off their top and it ain’t gonna be me. I already did that once today.”
“Agh! And it’s too late to go somewhere else. By the time I find an even nastier bar, they’ll be closed.”
“What’s your policy on wearing pants?”
“Somebody tried to have me fired for wearing a skirt, so we deal with that on a case by case basis.”
“That’s not a concrete answer. I need binary yes/no answers. My viewers have the attention span of fruit flies.”
“If they wanted to use their brains, do you think they’d watch something like this?”
“I need to keep them entertained, and the fact that you still have your shirt on isn’t helping.”
“Wait, I know! Give me a drink! A big one! The nastiest one you can think of!”
“…”
“Um…hello? Service here, please.”
“…”
(“Wow, it’s like my brain shut down.”)
“Sure…”
“Alright then! Cheers!”
“I don’t think you should chug it down so…”
“…”
“…quickly.”
“It’s like it hit me, but I didn’t feel it until a few seconds later.”
“Is this what being kicked in the balls feels like?”
“Yup.”
“Okay. I’ve decided. I’ll just get really wasted.”
“That’s gotta be fun enough, right?”
“If you say so…”
“Okay! In the meantime, what can you tell me about this bar?”
“What do you mean?”
“Weird stories! Fun stuff! Interesting facts!”
“You’re being seen by an average of 6,000 people. Make their time worth it!”
“Let’s see then…”
“Last weekend we held a party for the Seifar Toy Company.”
“And?”
“It’s a company run completely by dogs.”
“Really?”
“This place was completely overrun by Corgis.”
“Wait wait wait…Corgis?!”
“Did you really serve drinks to Corgis?!”
“Tuxedo-clad talking Corgis, yeah.”
“Wow! Awesome!”
“Wait, you’re not shitting me, right?”
“…I wish I was shitting you, trust me.”
“What else? What else?”
“Um…let’s see…”
“Donovan D. Dawson from The Augmented Eye was here for three nights in a row.”
“That perfumed chauvinistic bastard?”
(“Huh, there’s that word again.”)
“Just the other day someone from The Augmented Eye interviewed me, actually.”
“What did they ask?”
“Oh, the usual bullshit. Who I was, what I did, future plans, inspirations…”
“The one that interviewed me was this small, meek girl with glasses.”
“She seemed a bit bitter though. I wonder why.”
“But enough about tha-…wait. Can I see that glass over there?”
“Hm? Sure.”
“This signature… Is this ✩Kira✩ Miki’s autograph?!”
“Yeah, she came here before her last concert.”
“Get out! Really?!”
“Is this some kind of secret hidden bar of the stars or something?”
“Not really. We’re just in the right place at the right time.”
“What kind of person is she when she’s not on stage?”
“I’ve tried to get a meeting with her, and she actually seemed willing but she’s always busy.”
“A very nice girl, actually.”
“She seems to be completely invested in her work. She loves what she does and it shows.”
“You’d think she’d be some sort of diva, but as far as I’m concerned, she’s one of the nicest people I’ve met.”
“I KNEW IT! I knew she was nice.”
“Her passion shows in her concerts, you know? She’s so…spontaneous. Her performances are never the same.”
“Every time she sings Shine Spark, I feel like my soul is warming up like a high-performance computer.”
“SHIIIIIIIIIINE SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!!”
“I find myself singing it in the shower all the time.”
“And those who play Premium can hear me sing everyday! At $99.99 a month, go Premium now!”
“That aside, I was about to call bullshit on what you said.”
“But I guess you do have some sort of proof for everything.”
“Can I keep this glass?”
“No.”
“Pretty please?”
“No.”
“Party pooper.”
“At least this bar might be more interesting than I initially thought.”
“The one thing that’d make it perfect is if pretty boy over there had a past with the KGB.”
“WHO TOL-…!”
Just how old IS Gillian?
“Y-Yeah…that’d be crazy, huh?”
“…”
“Are you gonna order anything else?”
“What? Oh. Yeah, yeah. The whole getting wasted thing.”
“I heard of a drink called a Bad Touch.”
“Get me a big one of those, please. A Big Bad Touch.”
“pffft C-coming right up.”
“I was expecting something…dirtier.”
“We have olive brine - I can pour in a bit, if that’s what you want.”
“No, not that.”
“With such a dirty name, it feels like the drink ought to come in a phallic glass or be this thick white liquid.”
“That would’ve rocketed the watchers at least threefold.”
“Don’t you have anything like that?”
“Nope.”
“sigh I’ll have to make do with the condensed milk when I get home.”
Ughhhhh.
“Friendly reminder that today’s Escapade is brought to you by Shining Fingered dot moe!”
“Leaders of VR adult entertainment since 2069!”
“Buy a year of Premium membership for a neat code.”
“Said code will net you a free trial of a VR experience with a model based on moi!”
“What’s the deal with that VR experience?”
“Well, a fan made an NND model of me.”
“When Shining Fingered asked me about a model for our partnership I just contacted him.”
“He got money for polishing the model a lot more, I got a partnership. We all won!”
“I even got him a year of free Premium membership and a VR set!”
“That’s nice.”
“…wait. What’s NND?”
“Don’t tell me you haven’t heard of Niku Niku Dance.”
“I asked for a reason.”
“It’s…well it’s music videos with 3D models.”
“Yeah, that sounds like a good enough explanation.”
“I see.”
“To be honest though, the model is a bit…meatier than me.”
“Not that I mind it though, considering the use it gets.”
“ahem”
“You know, I was expecting you to be more…scared when I said that you’re being watched by a lot of people.”
“It’s hard to be scared when you can’t see these people.”
“But they’re still there, you know?”
“Sure, they’re behind screens and sometimes in the opposite corner of the world…”
“But every single one of my viewers is a real person with a real life.”
And they’re all real terrible people.
“Not being here doesn’t make them any less real.”
“I understand, but it’s just not the same. They’re not here, visibly paying attention to me.”
“I don’t get paranoid because of my phone contacts.”
“That’s true, I guess.”
“So…tell me. What made a lady like you become a bartender?”
“It’s not exactly an exciting story.”
“Does it involve a man?”
“No.”
“What about a crime?”
“Nope.”
“A childhood promise?”
“Nah.”
“A religious vow?”
“A what?”
“You’re not gonna tell me that you just decided out of the blue to quit your job and start bartending.”
“That’s actually what happened…sorta.”
“Oh, come on! No epiphany? Quarter-life crisis? Not even a hot teacher somewhere along the line?”
“…cough”
“…”
“L-Life isn’t always a young adult novel where every decision is a road cone.”
“And that’s a problem. One third of my audience are teens that shouldn’t be allowed to watch my streams.”
“Throw me a bone here. There must be a nice, mystical story you can tell about yourself, Ms. Bartender.”
“Well…”
“Yeeeeeeeeeeeeees?”
“…”
“Some time after I started working I got an interesting client.”
“He was a DRK-S0L, a really old Lilim model.”
“Apparently his power supply was running low.”
“His charger was destroyed, and he didn’t have the money to buy upgrades or replacements.”
“He also seemed to have neglected his maintenance.”
“He was from the time when the Collective Source wasn’t a cloud storage system.”
“So he wouldn’t be uploaded there once his body ran out of energy.”
“Keep going…”
“It was weird, you know? He was the only Lilim I’ve seen with a clear cut fear of mortality.”
“No transcendence for him. He would disappear once his batteries ran out.”
“”It’s like knowing you’ll vanish while everyone else passes on to heaven,” he said.”
“Oh, man…”
“I guess he felt bad about burdening someone else with his problems.”
“So he went and gave me a fingertip of his that fell while we were talking.”
“Before he left, he said, “If you remember me, maybe a part of me will transcend.””
“…”
“Um…”
“Bravo! Bra-vo!”
“Touching! Full of feeling! Completely awesome!”
“I’d pay to see a movie like that.”
“So, what happened to that finger?”
“I made a pendant out of it. I carry it with me at all times.”
“Even while bathing?”
“ALMOST all times.”
“Now that I think about it, how do you handle the stream if you want to watch a movie or something?”
“I have a plugin that lays mosaic censorship over whatever I watch on TV or in the theater.”
“I see…”
“Okay, this is getting stale. I’m gonna heat this up even if I have to do it myself.”
“We need to drop a cow in here. Ms. Bartender, get me drunk. I don’t care how, just…do it.”
“Okay…”
“Nope. A bit hot, but not lightheaded. Then again, I’m always hot.”
(“Hot-headed.”)
“Your drinks are either too light or I’m more resilient to alcohol than I thought.”
“Okay, let’s try this from a different angle. You ask the questions.”
“What kind of questions?”
“I don’t know, I’m not the bartender. Do your bartender-ish thing.”
“What made you decide to start streaming yourself 24/7?”
“See? That’s what I’m talking about. You’re the bartender here, bartender.”
“Anyway, have you ever done something reckless or stupid because of peer pressure?”
“I think that’s something everyone has gone through.”
“Well, it used to be that I very rarely succumbed to such problems.”
“I was the type to never take risks or try new things.”
“Every time I did, I was scolded rather than praised.”
“What point is there in doing this stuff if nobody acknowledges you did well?”
“But some time ago I stumbled upon a friend who would stream herself…talking.”
“Nothing risque or noteworthy.”
“She invited me on, and…well…the comments were intoxicating.”
“The internet is a big place. Somehow I found within those comments people that acknowledged me.”
“They encouraged me, even!”
“After that stream, I tried doing some by myself.”
“I turned on the camera, put on something cutesy and started dancing to ✩Kira✩ Miki.”
“At first, I pretended the camera wasn’t there but as soon as I saw the comments…”
“Something snapped within me.”
“Lewd comments, praises, the usual random stuff…”
“After seeing so many people interested in me, I started moving a lot more. No more shyness for me.”
“After that I started doing more. I sang, I cooked, I drew things, I even did a striptease at some point.”
“Whenever I was streaming, I stopped being shy.”
“So, at some point I said, “Hey, this is the way I wanna live all my life”.”
“And thus Streaming-chan was born.”
And mankind would learn real fear that day.
“Is it difficult to keep that up?”
“Not really. It’s not like I’m acting or anything. I’m just being myself.”
“I do need to mind camera angles and that kind of stuff sometimes, but it’s nothing major.”
“And when do I need to mind that? For only $99.99 a month you can find out. Go Premium, Go!”
“…hey! You’re good at this bartending stuff. Look at all the things you’ve made me say.”
“Well…”
“Like, seriously. What’s your secret?”
“How do you get people to talk?”
“I never do that much, actually.”
“Well, this is a bar after all.”
“And one of the reasons people come to a bar is because, they sometimes want to get things off their chests.”
“So it’s not a conscious trick you could teach in a ten minute tutorial?”
“Nope.”
“You just need to be in the right place at the right time.”
“Some professions make you that personal stranger others feel comfortable telling their secrets to.”
“…of course, discretion helps too.”
“Hey, now that you mention it, I do blab a lot to my hairdresser.”
“Pretty interesting stuff.”
“Well, no wild night tonight. But it did get interesting though.”
“Anyway, I should go. But before I leave, what’s your name, Ms. Bartender?”
“…I’m Lana Smithee.”
“Alright, Ms. Smithee. Thank you for a lovely night.”
“Whoa! The floor is moving…”
“Quite the lively girl, eh?”
“People like her physically hurt me with their presence…”
“You think she’ll come back?”
“My mom always says, “You never know when the angels are saying ‘amen’”.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means shut your mouth or you’ll jinx it.”
“Why didn’t you give her your name?”
“Would you like to reveal your name to someone like her?”
“Good point…”
“I’m gonna take my break now. It’s been a while since I’ve needed a cigarette this badly…”
“Alright.”