The Robots Don't Fuck In This One - Let's Play Battleborn

Latest Update - 10/5/17: Episode 7: F A A C K

So…Battleborn. Released in 2016, it’s an FPS moba by Gearbox; who you’ll probably know for such hits as Duke Nukem Forever, Aliens: Colonial Marines, and their one okay franchise: Borderlands. You probably know all the jokes about how the game is dead and awful, and well, it’s both of those. The game is basically Borderlands-lite. The gunplay is the same, but pretty much everything else just feels like you’re playing a shittier version of Borderlands.

The jokes are even less funny in Battleborn as well.

So, why are we doing this. Well, to be put it simply, we ran a charity stream a while back and this was one of the donation goals. The game is bad, and it does everything in it’s power to make me not like it, but, a goal is a goal.

This LP will be primarily of the singleplayer campaign. There’s some DLC missions, but, I’m not spending any more money on this game than I have to. We might try to do multiplayer if we can actually find other people playing, but, who knows how possible that will be.

I’m not playing this game by myself. I dragged 3 4 other jackasses with me for this, so god help them and me.

starring me (Kobuddy/Dup) as Ernest
starring ZenScissors as Whiskey Foxtrot
starring AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA aka Grasslamb as Alani
starring Albis as [REDACTED]
starring Xaiter as Benedict


  • I honestly don’t give a fuck about spoilers just don’t be an asshole.
  • And of course, any other forum rules apply.
  • It should go without saying; all of us really don’t like this game. If you do, I’m sorry that we’re poking fun at it, but this LP is very much not for you.

Episode 1: Videogame Q&A
Episode 2: Dead Inside
Episode 3: So How 'Bout Those Videogames?
Episode 4: Escaping Purgatory
Episode 5: We Lived, Bitch
Episode 6: The Tomb of Horrors
Episode 7: F A A C K
Episode 8: End.


Let this post serve as endorsement for every time you guys decide to go off-topic in the commentary as it is the right thing to do for a game like this.

I think video games are bad, actually, and this proves it


How long before this LP is the only thing propping the game up?


six months ago


Well, that was fast
One thing that we’ll probably mention in the next update is that one of the few good things that came with the winter update is every character has gotten multiple new voice lines for their ults. So sadly I couldn’t annoy Dup with murder parties in the recording that had to be scraped.

I appreciate that you’ve got that good, good randy tweet up front and center so everyone can be reminded about what this garbage fire of a game is.

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Very proud to have been one of the people to fastball money at your fundraiser, leading to slam directly into this donation goal and make Zen eat a horrible meme pizza.

your collective suffering is your reward for being good people


One of my friends tried to convince me to get this over Overwatch. I’m very glad I ignored them. As someone who enjoyed Borderlands I’m looking forward to seeing this game throw any good ideas they had under a bus for more Esports and memes.

I legit tried going in with an open mind; I thought “eh, Borderlands is okay. I’m sure this game will be serviceable.” But the first time we did it on stream and I saw there was a fucking LIVES system in 2016 any potential good will I had towards the game went out the window.

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also the UI and colour scheme of the game is just, so incredibly unslick. it’s just plain real hard to look at. it’s tough not to compare the game to overwatch but, man, you look at overwatch’s visual design and battleborn is just a big damn mess. i kinda thought very briefly at one point that it might be an ok game to bridge borderlands prequel and 3 but it’s, uh,

sadly not

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I think the thing I hate most about Battleborn’s visual design are the characters themselves. Some of them aren’t so bad, but then you have stuff like the man whose head is too small for his gigantic hulk body and it just falls apart. Why is your head so small, dude? What did you do to Randy and co. to earn this shrunken cranium?

I played the beta when it was free to do so. I had no fun and then it fucked up my computer. That’s my Battleborn experience.

you know, the worst thing about it is this game falls close to actually being quite good, but manages to fall short in such a way that makes it jump straight from mediocre to awful. I mean that intoductory animated cutscene is actually pretty neat, and so are some of the character designs. But then the game is just a huge wet fart.

Can… can we talk about how desperate Randy has been trying to sell this game via Twitter, culminating in that bizarre link to an empty subreddit?

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Ah I remember watching your streams of this game and I was BattleBored! No one used that one yet right? But honestly I’m kinda surprised by everything around this game and how it kinda seems to get everything wrong? Though I guess I’m judging it off of footage without actually being hands on with it myself. But I still struggle to understand why they went in any of the directions they did.

Randy: [scrolling through overwatch porn gifs on tumblr and sobbing] why wont they do this to my gaaaaame?

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Everything’s so horrendously chunky and in the way. The color scheme being atrocious is also not great.

Basically my eyes are: searing; hobby-grade watching; vision-blended, multi-post competitive urge to look away; meta-pain, cringe + epic suffering in video game form!


i can’t deal with how montana’s own arms/gun block a good third or so of your field of view when you play him. it’s like an unintended difficulty handicap

holy moly. we get it. he’s big. please. let us see the things we are shooting at


I will never get over them thinking this color saturation was a good idea.

I checked and they fixed their launch trailer. :frowning: it used to say

To Save The

and was pretty much a taste of how it would be

The early frantic days of Overwatch vs Battleborn were fun as the BB supporters got increasingly frantic.