Poochyena Power! - Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Red Rescue Team

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Day 16: Wherein Reddybear encounters his arch-nemesis.


At long last, I have returned! Sorry for the unannounced break.


It is time.

I’m running out of creative ways to say “You already told me that and I’ve been using that mechanic for a really long time, now.”

Don’t worry, Reddybear. I shan’t abandon thee.

Anyway, I have put the gummi quests on hold. It is time, indeed, to travel onward and face the dreaded canyon once more!

Though, uh… this time, I’m bringing an exit strategy. Cowardice Safety first!

Also, now I can afford this last Friend Area!

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Wigglytuff: Oops? Oh, too bad. I’m fresh out of Friend Areas.

“Oops?” Why “Oops?” I imagine my reaction would be more along the lines of “Time to go dive into all this PoKé like Scrooge McFarfetch’d.”

And so, here we are once again, this time more prepared. Somewhat.

This is why I am not too concerned when Cherithe walks off to attack something.

Anyway, doing remarkably well, this time! I have yet to hit any close calls.

Sure, he may be somewhat fragile, but when he gets the first hit…

It is nice to have some of that overpowered multi-hit move pool on my side, too. Not that enemies tend to survive more than one swipe, mind, but…

Also, it’s nice that Doduo, the enemy multi-hitter of the area, seems to be somewhat on the fragile side, from what I am seeing.

This move is a fair bit of a hazard, being a 100% damage reflect move unless the move being dealt to the defender is a KO, but at least there’s some ability to work around it.

For example, throwing rocks!


Speaking of broken moves, I’ll be putting this into storage instead of using it (I may change my mind if fake difficulty ramps up, hence me not outright selling it). So you know, since this game does not use gender, this move can hit anyone (unless they have the Oblivious ability, which very few do), and anyone hit by it is unable to act for a few turns.


This seems quite fitting.


Quite useful, aye! I wish Cherithe had that one. Especially since her status move does nothing else, whereas Reddybear’s at least also does damage.

I think the game heard me and is now taunting me about it.

But now, it is ours.

Woo!

I quite like owls. If I play Gold again, I should probably have a Hoothoot in the party, despite it not looking so cute, so I can have a Noctowl in the party later.

Heck, maybe I’ll do a full-bird party, since I already beat the game normally once (not including catching them all, because I am not that mad).

That’s a lot of Oran Berries. Which is good, because I really need one right about now.


Reddybear must be feeling quite left out, right about now.

I do hope Murkrow joins us at some point in this dungeon. I quite like Murkrow, as well.

…Yes, I may have a bit of a bird bias.

Something else I found, but sadly, this one is likely just going to be sold. It’s very rare for an enemy to be holding anything, too rare to justify this. And even if they are, would this even work if I’m holding something? I’d rather not trade away my poison immunity for the slim chance of denying an enemy their potentially-useless-anyway item.

Serves you right for spraying your seeds all over my beloved!

Apparently, it takes a Cherithe to substantially harm a Cherithe.

Oh, now you give me one…


Quite an interesting find! Even if likely to go unused.

Yeah, I think Cherithe has this one covered.

Oh wait, right, Poison Sting cuts corners and I’m the one with the Pecha Scarf. Tagging in!

I should seek the truth behind my own past more often, because it’s quite profitable.

Interesting, the things some people leave lying around.

Though, what’s more interesting is that, somehow, all three of us can learn it.

That said, given that it deals no immediate damage and most battles do not last very long, this is another one of those moves that’s more effective when used against the players than when used by the players.

…Yeah, I may wish to set my active move to something with more than 1PP.

Actually remembering to select “Set” after taking a screenshot would help.

Smooooke near the waaateerr…

Apparently not hidden very well.

You’d think the dog would be the one giving the licks, rather than taking them.

Fun fact: Aside from bear and kitty form, Red has also been known to take bull form. So, this would have been another candidate for the Red name. Then again, Tauros is not exactly fond of the color red, so perhaps not.

Oh, sure! My name’s Joat, her name is Cherithe, and his name is… uh… You can call him “Bear,” for short, eheheh…

I suppose if you’re gonna be so anti-red, I may as well give you a name to match.

Green is quite tanky, for that level, though I suppose I would expect that from a bull. I think I can safely set him to go on the offensive, considering that.

Maaan, Green even channels his RAAAGE against the enemies. A perfect rival for Reddybear!

OH GEEZ, VE’S MAKING ROAST BEEF!

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Cherithe: Yes! We’ve finally made it to the top, Joat!

All four of us, oddly enough. I heard it was supposed to be lonely at the top.

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Cherithe: This is the Hill of the Ancients…

You don’t say…

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Cherithe: Look! Over there!

Why is this a surprise?

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Cherithe: Joat! Is that Xatu over there?

Judging by the naming conventions of this land, yes.

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???:

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Cherithe: Hello?

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???: … …

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Cherithe: Maybe he doesn’t hear me? Hello?!

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???: … … …

Um, Cherithe? If that’s the case, Xatu is probably deaf. Perhaps try tapping its shoulder? Well, to the degree it can be considered to have shoulders, anyway.

Is it truly wise to have such a tone toward someone who is in prime shoving-you-off-a-cliff position?

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???: … … … …

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Cherithe: It’s useless. He’s not responding at all. Maybe he’s sleeping while on his feet?

Though it’s obvious that the latter is a bad idea, I’m pretty sure that the former is, too, when the Xatu in question is standing so close to the edge. Okay, to be fair, Xatu is a flying type, but still, causing someone to fall off the edge of a cliff is just plain rude.

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Cherithe: Huh? Tickle him? …OK. It’s worth a try.

My thought would have been to wait until the sun goes down. I mean, he stares into the sun all day, so he should be finished when it sets.

Then again, the protagonist is presumably meant to be a child and we all know how patient they are, so…

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Cherithe: Tickle, tickle, tickle.

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???: … … …

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Cherithe: Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.

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???: … … … … … …

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Cherithe: Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.

Do it a bit more, Cherithe! Xatu’s dots will soon break free from the tyranny of the text box!

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Cherithe: Tickle, tickle, tickle…

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Cherithe: Gasp, gasp…

Apparently, Tickle only has 28PP.

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Cherithe: It’s no good, Joat. He’s not responding.

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???: Snort…

That or he has a really poor reaction time.

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Cherithe: Huh?

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???: Snort… Giggle… Bufufufufufufufufu…

Actually, no, I think he’s just laughing at us.

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Cherithe: He’s finally laughing now… Is he… just dense?

Actually, I’d say his density is pretty low, given the height and weight figures given by Bulbapedia.

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Cherithe: Yikes!

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???: Witness it… The sinking of the sun…

Y’know, I really should watch the sunset more oft, myself. Though, I admit, I am not in the best position to do that. My view is fairly obstructed, where I live. But, even to the degree I can, I tend not to. Nor the sunrise. 'Tis a shame, really.

Eep! I’m sorry, I’ll stop bothering you, just please don’t glare at us like that anymore!

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???: I am Xatu.

You don’t say.

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Xatu: You discerned my true identity…

Well… yes. It was not very difficult.

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Xatu: You are not an ordinary sort…

Hear that, Snubbul? I am something special, gosh-darnit!

Well, that, or I am just a huge Pokénerd.

Yeah, probably that.

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Cherithe: Guessed your identity? That’s a bit much.

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Xatu: …No. I can tell this.

Well… yes, I am not surprised that you can tell that we figured out your identity.

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Xatu: You there. You are no ordinary Pokémon.

That’s a rather odd thing for him to say about a Poochyena.

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Xatu: You are… human, yes?

I am guessing Green is wondering just what it is that he signed up for, right about now.

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Cherithe: Huh?! How can you tell that?!

Wow, it’s almost like he’s psychic or something!

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Xatu: All day… I stare at the sun unblinking.

I’m no expert at clairvoyance, clearly, but I’m still pretty sure that’s not an answer.

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Xatu: It gives me sight for all things.

Oh.

I’m pretty sure if I tried that, I wouldn’t have sight for much of anything, myself.

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Xatu: The past and the future, too.

You can see the title screen and the end credits?

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Cherithe: If you know, please tell us, Xatu! Next to me is my friend Joat…

A lovely sentiment, but is an introduction necessary, at this point?

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Cherithe: My friend woke up one morning as a Pokémon. And, without any memory as a human. Xatu, you can tell, can’t you?

Xatu already knew, the audience already knew… Was that exposition dump for Green’s sake?

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Cherithe: Please tell us.

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Xatu: …The calamities of nature. There have been many in recent times.

Oh great, he’s chatting about the weather, now…

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Xatu: They occur because the world’s balance is upset.

Am I destined to bring balance back to the Force?

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Xatu: And your becoming a Pokémon… They are tied together. Inseparably so.

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Cherithe: Wait. Joat becoming a Pokémon and… the natural disasters… are related?!

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Cherithe: What do you mean?! What does Joat have to do with the natural disasters we’ve been seeing?

Wait a second… I’ve got it!

The natural disasters are caused by Bunny Link using the medallions! He’s tapping into their power, not realizing the environmental ramifications of his actions! Joat got caught in one of the Quake spells, but instead of turning into an onion with a face, he got turned into a Poochyena!

…Or maybe the narrator who gave the quiz is responsible for the disasters, or something.

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Xatu:

I think we need to insert another quarter.

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Cherithe: What is it?! Why did you clam up?! Please, tell us! Please!

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Xatu: There are bigger concerns… I am afraid… The world’s balance… It must be restored. Or the unthinkable shall befall our world.

And apparently the unspeakable, since he isn’t specifying what it is.

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Cherithe: Huh…? You’re serious?! The world… The unthinkable is coming?

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Xatu: Every day I see it. The same future every day…

Ugh… Reruns…

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Xatu: I dread it…

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Cherithe: Xa-Xatu…

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Xatu: I fear it… The world’s destruction.

…including the internet?

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Cherithe: The world’s destruction…?

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Gengar: That Joat… was human…

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Gengar: This is going to be useful! This should be interesting! Kekeh!

So, let me get this straight, Gengar. From what I can gather, your plan at this point is as follows:

1: Create a rescue team.

2: Defeat Team Zephyrai, who are the only other ones who know about the world’s impending doom and may, in fact, be vital to stopping the world from being destroyed.

3: The world is destroyed.

4: ???

5: Take over the world.

I cannot see how this plan could possibly collapse in on itself.

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