OHPW - Business May Die [Fire Pro Wrestling World]

[IGgy]

Week 42: The Answer - (Twitch VOD)

oRa Club fo-fo-fo-fo-fo-for Life! by PublicOpinion

@Match Card and Results

Week 42: The Answer

This Saturday despite being fairly formidable and having a very dominant debut, Nero Sin has to defend against the Jabroni on Saturday. Losing to DCB and a debuting Lea just added up here… knowing Jane’s track record here she just might get punished for her sins.

Afterwards our former Hellweight Champ Pantha has her first match since losing the title. Against recent Jabroni Graduate N-T Punk and Showdown Tournament Runner-Up and Dominator of her block Harmony Gray

Vacation Skeleton has a match!

Can duel hungry Apollo end Palpy’s reign of terror. Honestly, I think Palpy just may piss Apollo off into submission. After all Apollo is a bit of a stickler for rules and Palpy only cares about how far he can bend the rules before he gets disqualified.

And our Main Event will be The Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal. As always, that#s the least predictable match and usually one of the more fun ones when it doesn’t take more than an hour (that’s been patched, by the way)

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Inspector Jane (c) vs. Nero Sin

Jane was, surprisingly, in control for a lot of the match, but then nero just did three big moves and won!

#2 Three-Way First Fall
N-T Punk vs. Pantha vs. Harmony Gray

N-T Punk being the obvious fall guy actually delegated fall guy duties to Pantha, who got submitted by Harmony

#3 Singles Match
Vacation Skeleton vs. Boob Marley

Sadly, this match ended before it could properly begin. One of the most nothing finishes of all time giving Vacation Skeleton a win!

Scene: We see a promo recorded last week after Muscle Wizard’s match. He challenges Suzan to a one on one match at the PPV. Will she accept? We know she will but we have yet to hear it from herself.

#4 Tag Team Match
School of Slam vs. oRa 66 (Anus and Josef)

The match started to look like too much effort for the oRa so they just decided to win via count-out.

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Apollo vs. Palpatine (c)

Palpatine decided to take it easy, so his oRa 66 friends at ringside decided to win the match for him via count-out.

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
Black vs. VACANT

Always bet on Black! Y’know, I had my doubts as I always do when people face VACANT but this was Black’s Night who got a clean sweep against VACANT and did it faster than Malfest-Goat Monster before him by 49 seconds in just 9:04 minutes.

Scene: The El Chad does some dumb thing apparently and it ends with to teams of Dashes facing each other at the PPV.

#7 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Grace Thoruson vs. Doctor Mutant vs. Weeb Weaver vs. DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Harley Havik vs. Zoltan vs. Midas Minoson vs. Cocademon (c)

Predictably, this was chaos. The final two were Weeb Weaver and DivineCoffeeBinge, unlikely contenders to most. DCB, in the end, emerged victorious becoming the 18th Seeven Deadly Pins Champion (19th if you count VACANT)

[IGgy]

OHPW - Week 43

This is the final show before… let’s just call the PPV “Rules of Nature” sure, that works. Better than nothing.
Last week we had Harmony take away an impressive victory but then Black came and just one-upped that by beating VACANT. So tonight we have Harmony vs. Black to settle who faces Fomore for the Hellweight Title next week.

Aside from that we have Kayu in her first singles match since she rid herself of the Jabroni Royale and in our main Event the… oRa… they somehow where the only ones eligible for this week’s Legion Tag match.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Inspector Jane (c) vs. Doctor Mutant

#2 Tag Team Match
The Fun Gang vs. Space Wizards

#3 Singles Match
Kayu Zakisaka vs. Super Samio

#4 Four-Way
Chief Engineer vs. Guzma vs. Canada Alderman vs. Anna May

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Wee Weaver vs. Palpatine (c)

#6 Hellweight No. 1 Contender Match
Harmony Gray vs. Black

#7 Legion Tag Championships
oRa 66 vs. Pineapple Pizza (c)

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Inspector Jane (c) vs. Doctor Mutant for the Jabroni Royale
#2 The Fun Gang vs. Space Wizards
#3 Kayu Zakisaka vs. Super Samio
#4 Chief Engineer vs. Guzma vs. Canada Alderman vs. Anna May
#5 Weeb Weaver vs. Palpatine (c) for the Bunny Title :3
#6 Harmony Gray vs. Black
#7 oRa 66 vs. Pineapple Pizza (c) for the Legion Tag Title

[IGgy]

Week 43: Wrestling Logic - (Twitch VOD)

@Match Card and Results

OHPW - Week 43

This is the final show before… let’s just call the PPV “Rules of Nature” sure, that works. Better than nothing.
Last week we had Harmony take away an impressive victory but then Black came and just one-upped that by beating VACANT. So tonight we have Harmony vs. Black to settle who faces Fomore for the Hellweight Title next week.

Aside from that we have Kayu in her first singles match since she rid herself of the Jabroni Royale and in our main Event the… oRa… they somehow where the only ones eligible for this week’s Legion Tag match.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Inspector Jane (c) vs. Doctor Mutant

Somehow police brutality won here. This is a very dark day. Doc did all the sick shit but still lost.

#2 Tag Team Match
The Fun Gang vs. Space Wizards

This match was fun because of The Fun Gang. It got a 99% rating. It would have been 100% had The Fun Gang won.

#3 Singles Match
Kayu Zakisaka vs. Super Samio

Easily Match of the Night. Fast paced and hard hitting. Kayu takes her first singles win since ridding herself of the Jabroni.

Scene: IGgy explains Wrestling to SATAN, finally. Then Suzan shows up and accepts Muscle Wizard’s challenge.

#4 Four-Way
Chief Engineer vs. Guzma vs. Canada Alderman vs. Anna May

Almost as though we weren’t supposed to be surprised by the outcome of this match, Canada won!

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Wee Weaver vs. Palpatine (c)

Weeb foolishly threw Palpy to the outside early on, getting them a beating and almost a count-out victory for the oRa. They managed to return to the ring in time and fought Palpy head-on… only to throw him out again like an idiot, at least this time on the other side of the ring. Still, the oRa game and kept Weeb out for the 20-count. Palpy retains. RIP.

#6 Hellweight No. 1 Contender Match
Harmony Gray vs. Black

If Kayu vs. Samio hadn’t been MOTN this would have been. Harmony faced an uphill battle, but wrestlers like her are also the ones who managed to beat Black so far. The match went long and. And is the case with most long matches Black is in, he lost. Harmony makes him tap with the Arachnid’s Grip.

Scene: The El Chad shows up in IGgy’s office and demands a tag match between two teams of Dash Rendars. It will be the worst match on next week’s card but at least the Dashes will lose for sure. They’ll also win for sure, though. Damn.

#7 Legion Tag Championships
oRa 66 vs. Pineapple Pizza (c)

You can’t win a title by count-out. The oRa seem to know this so they didn’t overdo it with their shenanigans. It was probably because of that that Pineapple Pizza could win when Cheese Pietzza put the Bridging Figure Four on Josef.

[IGgy]

Week 44: RULES OF NATURE
Right! Here we go! This Saturday it’s time for… Rules of Nature??? Yeah, that’s what it’s called now.

Our hottest angle is probably that some character from the Star Wars extended canon got three other versions of himself and now they are upset at each other for whatever reason so they team up against each other. The Dash Rendars are fine.
Muscle Wizard and Suzan also face off after two knockouts and an awkward challenge. But we also have the three people Palpy beat via count-out teaming up against the oRa 66, who caused the count-outs in the first place. All of this happens immediately before Palpy is challenged by Black. And you always bet on Black. Except last week… when he lost the Hellweight No. 1 Contender match to Harmony ho is challenging for the Hellweight Championship this show.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Doctor Mutant (“c”) vs. Anna May

#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Mr. Shakedown vs. A Mimic vs. Vacation Skeleton vs. Kelsey Slaughter vs. Boob Marley vs. Lemuel Post vs. Undeddie Guerrero vs. DivineCoffeeBinge (c)

#3 Singles Match
Muscle Wizard vs. Suzan Blades

#4 Tag Team Match
The Dash Rendars (Dash Rendar & The El Chad) vs. The Dash Rendars (Ledasha Rendar & Fat Dash Rendar)

#5 Trios Tornado Tag Match
Weeb Weaver, Apollo, EGO vs. oRa 66

#6 Bunny Championship :3
Black vs. Palpatine (c)

#7 Legion Tag Championship
Space Wizards vs. Pineapple Pizza (c)

#8 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Canada Alderman vs. Ryu (c)

#9 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#10 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Harmony Gray vs. Fomore (c)

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Doctor Mutant (“c”) vs. Anna May
#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal feat. DivineCoffeeBinge (c)
#3 Muscle Wizard vs. Suzan Blades
#4 The Dash Rendars vs. The Dash Rendars
#5 Weeb, Apollo & EGO vs. oRa 66
#6 Black vs. Palpatine (c) for the Bunny Title :3
#7 Space Wizards vs. Pineapple Pizza (c) for the Legion Tag Titles
#8 Canada Alderman vs. Ryu (c) for the Darkweight Title
#9 VACANT Open Challenge
#10 Harmony Gray vs. Fomore (c) for the Hellweight Title

[IGgy]

Week 44: RULES OF NATURE- (Twitch VOD)

@Match Card and Results

Week 44: RULES OF NATURE
Right! Here we go! This Saturday it’s time for… Rules of Nature??? Yeah, that’s what it’s called now.

Our hottest angle is probably that some character from the Star Wars extended canon got three other versions of himself and now they are upset at each other for whatever reason so they team up against each other. The Dash Rendars are fine.
Muscle Wizard and Suzan also face off after two knockouts and an awkward challenge. But we also have the three people Palpy beat via count-out teaming up against the oRa 66, who caused the count-outs in the first place. All of this happens immediately before Palpy is challenged by Black. And you always bet on Black. Except last week… when he lost the Hellweight No. 1 Contender match to Harmony ho is challenging for the Hellweight Championship this show.

Harmony Gray’s got a shot at the Hellweight Title! by PublicOpinion

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Doctor Mutant (“c”) vs. Anna May

JACKHAMMER! 1- Just one… but later Doc did it again and it was a 3 so it was only partially buried.

Scene: Apollo tries to get IGgy to turn the Bunny Title match alter on the card into a honorable duel with no seconds allowed. IGgy twists Apollo’s idea into something potentially horrible by making the call that whoever wins the trios match before the Bunny Title :3 match gets to accompany either Black or Palpy to the ring.

#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Mr. Shakedown vs. A Mimic vs. Vacation Skeleton vs. Kelsey Slaughter vs. Boob Marley vs. Lemuel Post vs. Undeddie Guerrero vs. DivineCoffeeBinge (c)

Goodness! DCB somehow managed to not only remain in the match all the way to the end, but also WIN! And become one of the very few people to actually successfully defend the 7DP. Go DCB!

#3 Singles Match
Muscle Wizard vs. Suzan Blades

Suzan is Back baybee! (She beat Muscle Wizard without him actually hitting the Bigdawg’s Clenched Fist)

#4 Tag Team Match
The Dash Rendars (Dash Rendar & The El Chad) vs. The Dash Rendars (Ledasha Rendar & Fat Dash Rendar)

I think The team of The El Chad and Dash one? I don’t know though, or care.

Scene: The Dashes decide they are too stupid to be around each other??? Seems like they want to kill each other, which is good. But not today. Maybe soon. Can’t wait for the Dash Powers to explode.

#5 Trios Tornado Tag Match
Weeb Weaver, Apollo, EGO vs. oRa 66

At 15 Minutes both Weeb and EGO are out and it’s Apollo vs. three people. He holds out for 10 more minutes but it’s a mostly one-sided beatdown. The oRa win. And will accompany Palpatine to the ring in the next match.

#6 Bunny Championship :3
Black vs. Palpatine (c)

It turns out it didn’t matter that the rest of the oRa 66 accompanied Palpy. Thes distracted the ref so Palpy could recover from the pin. But he just stayed down. After the ref was back he made the three-count and Black wins. Not sure if freak occurence, bug or a botched mod setting. Either way. It was great.

#7 Legion Tag Championship
Space Wizards vs. Pineapple Pizza (c)

After the last match I hoped this one would suck. It didn’t. I mean, after the glorious finish of Black vs. Palpy it still was a letdown. No way to follow that. Oh, Pineapple Pizza win and retain.

#8 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Canada Alderman vs. Ryu (c)

Seems like Canada is determined to recapture the Darkweight Championship. She would not surrender until after the 30 minute mark.

Scene: Flamander comes to the ring. Wait, not that Flamander. The Comander Platinum one, the Star Pilot one… and he calls out the Hellranger? Who promptly appears and asserts that the Star Pilot is a fake. Still a challenge is issued. Hellranger says he’ll think about it but Star Pilot seems sure it’s already accepted.

#9 VACANT Open Challenge
Grace Thoruson vs. VACANT

Oh boy, do you think Grace can even last 10 minutes? She lasted 18. And got VACANT downed once before she couldn’t get back up when she was downed for the second time.

#10 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Harmony Gray vs. Fomore (c)

And for our Main Event we got two wrestlers with a submission repertoire trying to break each others bodies. It took over 20 minutes but it turns out Fomore’s body has a breaking point, but it took multiple attempts with the Arachnid’s Grip. New Champ! Harmony did it!

[IGgy]

OHPW - Week 45: I Quit this Saturday!
This coming Saturday’s show features Palpy trying to not become the Jabroni after really earning himself the dishonor of having to challenge the current Jabroni, Anna may, by losing to a… 50 (?) count??? Talk about a burial.

Freddie Hope is back in the ring for the first time after his loss to Flamander. He’s up against some new guy called Suman. I know virtually nothing about him except that he apparently exists. Meanwhile, Kelsey is challenging Black for the Bunny Title :3

It’s funny to me how the cute and fluffy belt is often held by people who aren’t very cute or fluffy. Speaking of being or being not cute or fluffy, Team Skull fit one of those criteria, I’m not sure which. But they challenge Pineapple Pizza for their Legion Tag Titles.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Anna May (“c”) vs. Palpatine

#2 Some Battle Royal
Lea Lionheart vs. Roy vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. King Skeleton

#3 Some Singles Match
Suman. vs. Freddie Hope

#4 Tag Team Match
Wizards Not Allowed vs. Lawful Good

#5 Bunny Championship
Kelsey Slaughter vs. Black (c)

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#7 Legion Tag Championship
Team Skull Grunts vs. Pineapple Pizza (c)

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Anna May (“c”) vs. Palpatine for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Lea Lionheart vs. Roy vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. King Skeleton
#3 SUMAN. vs. Freddie Hope
#4 Wizards Not Allowed vs. Lawful Good
#5 Kelsey Slaughter vs. Black (c) for the Bunny Title :3
#6 VACANT Open Challenge
#7 Team Skull vs. Pineapple Pizza (c) for the Legion Tag Titles

[IGgy]

Week 45: I Quit! - (Twitch VOD)

@Match Card and Results

OHPW - Week 45: I Quit this Saturday!
This coming Saturday’s show features Palpy trying to not become the Jabroni after really earning himself the dishonor of having to challenge the current Jabroni, Anna may, by losing to a… 50 (?) count??? Talk about a burial.

Freddie Hope is back in the ring for the first time after his loss to Flamander. He’s up against some new guy called Suman. I know virtually nothing about him except that he apparently exists. Meanwhile, Kelsey is challenging Black for the Bunny Title :3

It’s funny to me how the cute and fluffy belt is often held by people who aren’t very cute or fluffy. Speaking of being or being not cute or fluffy, Team Skull fit one of those criteria, I’m not sure which. But they challenge Pineapple Pizza for their Legion Tag Titles.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Anna May (“c”) vs. Palpatine

I was hoping for an explosion finish when the timer neared 15 Minutes but Palpy somehow got the pin in time. Stupid idiot.

#2 Four-Way
Lea Lionheart vs. Roy vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. King Skeleton

Finallay, Hobo takes one again after such a long time! Even brought his wrestling gear.

#3 Some Singles Match
Suman. vs. Freddie Hope

Finish of the night: Freddie does the Last Hope onto Suman to knock him out but he lands outside of the ring. So the ref counts him out.

Scene: Fomore approaches SATAN backstage, handing in their resignation. Initially devastated that Fomore would abandon their wrestling carreer SATAN soon turns around on that as he realized that Fomore didn’t quit wrestling. They quit their fake office job.

#4 Tag Team Match
Wizards Not Allowed vs. Lawful Good

The match that refused to end. WNA won. They hogged way too much time. We had to cut the VACANT match short.

#5 Bunny Championship
Kelsey Slaughter vs. Black (c)

Surprising everyone, Kelsey managed to add barbed wire and landmines to this. The ref still handled it like a normal match, just with added hazards. At the end, Kelsey through Black outside, making him bleed badly. Back in the ring the tides turn again. Black hits a powerbomb and wins via Pinfall.

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
IGgy IGsen vs. VACANT

Some assholes in chat voted for me to be in this. So I was. Got hit by a burning hammer and was rekt.

#7 Legion Tag Championship
Team Skull Grunts vs. Pineapple Pizza (c)

It’s a fair affair early on but the Guzma and Plumeria show up for a few minutes to assist the Grunts. While this didn’t directly lead to their victory they would be able to get the win later on.

[IGgy]

Week 46: Thanks for Coming
This saturday, as always.

As we near the end of the year we’re havin’ more wrestling
Anus McMutton returns to Battle Royals, though, not as big as the last one he was in, where he was unconscious for most of it and just stayed there until the next week.
Former Hellweight Champ Suzan Blades faces former Hellweight Contender Manic Misanthrope 1 on 1. Suzan may cement her return to singles competition but Manic could also prove to us that he’s capable of more than we think.
We also have Lea Lionheart against Black for the Bunny Title. Probably the biggest match of her carreer yet.
And finally, somehow Hobo made his way back to the Main Event in trying to stop Ryu’s record Darkweight Title reign.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Anna May (“c”) vs. King Skeleton

#2 Five-Way - Elimination
Grace Thoruson vs. Plumeria vs. Great Maharaja vs. A Mimic vs. Anus McMutton

#3 Singles Match
Suzan Blades vs. Manic Misanthrope

#4 Tag Team Match
School of Slam vs. Fallout Boys

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Lea Lionheart vs. Black (c)

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Hobo One Kevodki vs. Ryu (c)

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Anna May (“c”) vs. King Skeleton for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Grace vs. Plumeria vs. Maharaja vs. Mimic vs. Anus
#3 Suzan Blades vs. Manic Misanthrope
#4 School of Slam vs. Fallout Boys
#5 Lea Lionheart vs. Black (c) for the Bunny Title :3
#6 VACANT Open Challenge
#7 Hobo One Kevodki vs. Ryu (c) for the Darkweight Title

[IGgy]

Week 46: Thanks for Coming - (Twitch VOD)

@Match Card and Results

Week 46: Thanks for Coming
This saturday, as always.

As we near the end of the year we’re havin’ more wrestling
Anus McMutton returns to Battle Royals, though, not as big as the last one he was in, where he was unconscious for most of it and just stayed there until the next week.
Former Hellweight Champ Suzan Blades faces former Hellweight Contender Manic Misanthrope 1 on 1. Suzan may cement her return to singles competition but Manic could also prove to us that he’s capable of more than we think.
We also have Lea Lionheart against Black for the Bunny Title. Probably the biggest match of her carreer yet.
And finally, somehow Hobo made his way back to the Main Event in trying to stop Ryu’s record Darkweight Title reign.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Anna May (“c”) vs. King Skeleton

Many thought it might never happen again but the explosion, indeed, took the win here. Which unfortunately for Anna May means she retains the Jabroni Royale.

Scene: Palpy tries to recruit Malfest Goat-Monster for his purposes. It turns out that the Goat-Monster isn’t up for that.

#2 Five-Way - Elimination
Grace Thoruson vs. Plumeria vs. Great Maharaja vs. A Mimic vs. Anus McMutton

What the? Less than two minutes in Grace is knocked out… and after that Anus gets knocked out… wow. The remaining three have a more or less normal match though and Mimic wins!

#3 Singles Match
Suzan Blades vs. Manic Misanthrope

Championship level wrestlers having a championship level match. But Suzan still seems to be a cut above and wins.

Scene: They interview Flamander! The blue one not the red one.

#4 Tag Team Match
School of Slam vs. Fallout Boys

I seem to remember a lot of tags. In the end Sadim won by making the Fallout Boys humble.

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Lea Lionheart vs. Black (c)

Shit… Black squashes Lea.

Scene: The oRa, with Anus notably absent, still try to find a way to screw over black. The meeting is somewhat interrupted by Goat-Monster’s shadow mysteriously appearing all of a sudden… but disappearing again before anyone except Palpy can notice.

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
George Cluwney vs. VACANT

George Cluwney is the first VACANT challenger to lose the first time they are downed.

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Hobo One Kevodki vs. Ryu (c)

This is the match of the night. Hobo and Ryu wrecked each other with their hardest hitting moves. Ryu started bleeding after Hobo ate his face but Ryu still managed to get the W here.

[IGgy]

Week 47: Fiddy Zone
This Saturday at the usual time, click the link for exact times.

We are nearing our final PPV of the year. It’s called YEAR OF THE BEAST.
This Saturday we’re gearing up for that. Grace, after being knocked out in record time last week, has to avoid becoming the Jabroni. The Fun Gang and WNA fight each other in a match for the Legion Tag Title No. 1 Contendership and Supreme Sadim and Freddie Hope do the same for the Hellweight Title. Suzan Blades would have been in the race too but she chose not to compete for the Hellweight Title at this time.
Maybe Mimic can last longer against Black than Lea last week but as far as I go: I always bet on Black.
And in the Main Event DCB defends the Seven Deadly Pins title against seven challengers again. If she wins she is the first to defend the title more than once.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Anna May (“c”) vs. Grace Thoruson

#2 Singles Match
Maya Northwind vs. Muscle Wizard

#3 Legion Tag No. 1 Contender Match
The Fun Gang vs. Wizards Not Allowed

#4 Hellweight No. 1 Contender Match
Supreme Sadim vs. Freddie Hope

#5 Bunny Championship :3
A Mimic vs. Black (c)

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#7 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Cocademon vs. Harley Havik vs. Pantha vs. N-T Punk vs. Nero Sin vs. Midas Minoson vs. Super Samio vs. DivineCoffeeBinge (c)

Also: Here’s me wearing a Grace shirt!

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Anna May (“c”) vs. Grace Thoruson for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Maya Northwind vs. Muscle Wizard
#3 The Fun Gang vs. Wizards Not Allowed
#4 Supreme Sadim vs. Freddie Hope
#5 A Mimic vs. Black (c) for the Bunny Title :3
#6 VACANT Open Challenge
#7 Seven Deadly Pins feat. DCB (c)

[IGgy]

Week 47: Enter the Fiddy Zone - (Twitch VOD)

@Match Card and Results

Week 47: Fiddy Zone
This Saturday at the usual time, click the link for exact times.

We are nearing our final PPV of the year. It’s called YEAR OF THE BEAST.
This Saturday we’re gearing up for that. Grace, after being knocked out in record time last week, has to avoid becoming the Jabroni. The Fun Gang and WNA fight each other in a match for the Legion Tag Title No. 1 Contendership and Supreme Sadim and Freddie Hope do the same for the Hellweight Title. Suzan Blades would have been in the race too but she chose not to compete for the Hellweight Title at this time.
Maybe Mimic can last longer against Black than Lea last week but as far as I go: I always bet on Black.
And in the Main Event DCB defends the Seven Deadly Pins title against seven challengers again. If she wins she is the first to defend the title more than once.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Anna May (“c”) vs. Grace Thoruson

Oh man, Grace really wanted to prove that she doesn’t belong here and showed no mercy to Anna May

#2 Singles Match
Maya Northwind vs. Muscle Wizard

This was a really good match until… Muscle Wizard decided to play dead for minutes at a time. Eventually Maya got fed up and submitted him.

Scene: The Dashes all walk around backstage until one of them stumbles into IGgy’s office and demands a match against all the other Dashes.

#3 Legion Tag No. 1 Contender Match
The Fun Gang vs. Wizards Not Allowed

I can’t believe that Clown takes another Victory for WNA. What a dick.

#4 Hellweight No. 1 Contender Match
Supreme Sadim vs. Freddie Hope

Sadim wrestled a slow pace while Freddie wrestled a fast pace. After some time Freddie is the one who takes the W and goes on to challenge Harmony next week.

Scene: Palpy and Gang go over their plan to mess up Black when he is dragged into the Fiddy Zone by Malfest Goat-Monster and it’s revealed they will fight next week. Cool!

#5 Bunny Championship :3
A Mimic vs. Black (c)

There was a lot of punching the space where Mimic’s head is supposed to be. But it was a powerbomb onto a non-existent neck that did the job and got Black the win.

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
Ryu vs. VACANT

The highest profile VACANT challenge in a while and oh boy… did Ryu get whipped. VACANT finished with several minutes to spare until the 10 minute mark.

#7 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Cocademon vs. Harley Havik vs. Pantha vs. N-T Punk vs. Nero Sin vs. Midas Minoson vs. Super Samio vs. DivineCoffeeBinge (c)

That dastardly Nero eliminated Pantha, Punk and DCB before getting eliminated himself. The righteous hero Super Samio ended the match with her signature cross body on Midas, knocking him right out.

[IGgy]

Week 48: THE YEAR OF THE BEAST 2019
It’s time! This Saturday we’ll have our final PPV of the year! Click the link for exact times!

Muscle Wizard has been made to compete against the Jabroni Royal due to either sleeping in the ring or throwing the match against Maya, we don’t know.
Super Samio takes on seven challengers to the Seven Deadly Pins Title
Palpatine gets destroyed by Malfest Goat-Monster (spoilers, probably! But who knows?)
Legendary Blood Goddess… I mean skydiver… Maya Northwind challenges the dominant Black for the Bunny Title :3
Over the last weeks Wizard’s Not Allowed have earned themselves a tag title shot against Team Skull
Nero, having eliminated three people including the former champ Pantha from last week’s 7DP aims to end Ryu’s record Darkweight reign.
The Dash Rendars are on a collision course and it’s gonna be great because three of them get to lose. One will win, but you gotta make sacrifices.
Then two Doinks will do an extended mirror spot… I mean, actually, the good Flamander and the evil Flamander will tear it down.
And in the Main Event Freddie Hope challenges for Harmony Gray’s Infernal Hellweight Championship!

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Anna May (“c”) vs. Muscle Wizard

#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Guzma vs. Josef Dub vs. Kayu Zakisaka vs. EGO vs. Mina Park vs. Suman vs. Undeddie Guerrero vs. Super Samio (c)

#3 Singles Match
Palpatine vs. Malfest Goat-Monster

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Maya Northwind vs. Black (c)

#5 Legion Tag Championships
Wizards Not Allowed vs. Team Skull

#6 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Nero Sin vs. Ryu (c)

#7 The Mega Dashes Explode
Dash Rendar vs. Ledasha Rendar vs. Fat Dash Rendar vs. The El Chad

#8 Singles Match
Hellranger Flamander vs. Star Pilot Flamander

#9 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#10 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Freddie Hope vs. Harmony Gray

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Anna May (“c”) vs. Muscle Wizard for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal feat. Super Samio (c)
#3 Palpatine vs. Malfest Goat-Monster
#4 Maya Northwind vs. Black (c) for the Bunny Title :3
#5 Wizards Not Allowed vs. Team Skull (c) for the Legion Tag Titles
#6 Nero Sin vs. Ryu (c) for the Darkweight Title
#7 Dash Rendar vs. Ledasha Rendar vs. Fat Dash Rendar vs. The El Chad
#8 Hellranger Flamander vs. Star Pilot Flamander
#9 VACANT Open Challenge
#10 Freddie Hope vs. Harmony Gray (c) for the Hellweight Title

[IGgy]

OHPW - Week 48: YEAR OF THE BEAST - (Twitch VOD)

A different side of Kayu Zakisaka by PublicOpinion

@"Match

Week 48: THE YEAR OF THE BEAST 2019
It’s time! This Saturday we’ll have our final PPV of the year! Click the link for exact times!

Muscle Wizard has been made to compete against the Jabroni Royal due to either sleeping in the ring or throwing the match against Maya, we don’t know.
Super Samio takes on seven challengers to the Seven Deadly Pins Title
Palpatine gets destroyed by Malfest Goat-Monster (spoilers, probably! But who knows?)
Legendary Blood Goddess… I mean skydiver… Maya Northwind challenges the dominant Black for the Bunny Title :3
Over the last weeks Wizard’s Not Allowed have earned themselves a tag title shot against Team Skull
Nero, having eliminated three people including the former champ Pantha from last week’s 7DP aims to end Ryu’s record Darkweight reign.
The Dash Rendars are on a collision course and it’s gonna be great because three of them get to lose. One will win, but you gotta make sacrifices.
Then two Doinks will do an extended mirror spot… I mean, actually, the good Flamander and the evil Flamander will tear it down.
And in the Main Event Freddie Hope challenges for Harmony Gray’s Infernal Hellweight Championship!

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Anna May (“c”) vs. Muscle Wizard

Oh, we’re approaching 15? 3-2-1 BOOM! And nobody gets up! Explosion-chan did it again!

Scene: Flamander accepts the match he’s already booked for.

#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Guzma vs. Josef Dub vs. Kayu Zakisaka vs. EGO vs. Mina Park vs. Suman vs. Undeddie Guerrero vs. Super Samio (c)

Oh boy… this match was a bloody affair. Kayu got the worst of it and somehow managed to hold on until the end and win the entire thing.

Scene: Goat-Monster moves palpy to the goat dimension to make it so the oRa 66 are unable to interfere.

#3 Singles Match
Palpatine vs. Malfest Goat-Monster

Palpy eats shit.

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Maya Northwind vs. Black (c)

Maya eats… shit… damn. That was fast and disappointing.

#5 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Nero Sin vs. Ryu (c)

Nero started wrecking Ryu early on. Ryu came back, wrecked some back but after several Sin Effects Ryu finally stayed down for the 3-count. Nero is our new Darkweight Champion.

#6 Legion Tag Championships
Wizards Not Allowed vs. Team Skull

WNA tried. But Team Skull had buzzsaw kicks. And retained.

#7 The Mega Dashes Explode
Dash Rendar vs. Ledasha Rendar vs. Fat Dash Rendar vs. The El Chad

Dash won. I mean. But three other Dashes lost.

Scene: The most horrible most tragic event in the history of the universe (Dash ascends to godhood)

#8 Singles Match
Hellranger Flamander vs. Star Pilot Flamander

W-O-R-M! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORM! But it was not enough. Not even after 4 or 5 times. Hellranger hits the snake for the win. Justice is dead.

#9 VACANT Open Challenge
Kelsey Slaughter vs. VACANT

Kesley lasted longer than ten minutes, but then had to tap out.

#10 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Freddie Hope vs. Harmony Gray

Strikes from Harmony, throws from Freddie. Hitting hard, Harmony’s Arachnid’s Grip isn’t enough, Freddie’s Last Hope isn’t enough. Freddie only stays down after a brutal powerbomb and Harmony retains.

[IGgy]

Oh boy, OHPW is basically a year old. A little older really. Though, the time from the first episode to now is less than a year the actual inception was more than a month before that. We won’t have a show this week so let’s have a look:

To make this archivable later I resized the tables. If you want to view them in their full size or simply want to look at the data without reading what I have to say about it then go here

I’ve included the durations of the three LPFWA seasons to add a little perspective. These all go from the first episode to the last. In this time we’ve seen many stories begin and end. Too many to really list here. Every character has some story. Most simply emergent. Like Kayu Zakisaka never giving up even when she was the longest-reigning Jabroni Royale but she’s currently clawing her way up, keeping her promise that she would be champion one day. Angus McMutton, meanwhile, is on a downward slope. Started hot but it just hasn’t been going his way since. Others were planned, such as Flamander’s arc of failure to be redeemed or Dash Rendar amassing more Dash Rendars but eventually, their egos and just plain desire to be the most Dash is what caused a falling out and their weird ascension to… godhood? The execution deviated a bit from the original pitch but that’s how it always is.

The thing all these four stories have in common is that they spanned all or nearly all of OHPW’s life so far. This shift to allowing more long-term stories to bloom came from me learning to appreciate the storytelling of New Japan Pro Wrestling. In what some might view as the feud of the decade Kenny Omega and Kazuchika Okada took over 18 months to reach the climax of their story. But the thing with wrestling is that it just isn’t over after an angle has neatly wrapped. It continues. A better real life example would perhaps be the tale of The Golden Lovers, Kota Ibushi and, again, Kenny Omega, which was or rather still is told across multiple years and several promotions. That story is probably the main reason I actually respect canon from back in LPFWA when it’s there rather than just handwaving it away, wich the design of OHPW’s world allows. But oh, I shouldn’t get carried away with this… we’d be here all day.

399 matches. LPFWA Season 3 had 409, to give you a point of reference. We have fewer episodes so far but a normal show has seven instead of six bouts. Kind of a necessity that comes with our bigger roster. And I went over this a little when I made a post like this after Episode 9 but even if we had the exact same roster size as LPFWA it would be different. As there are no separate men’s and women’s divisions anymore. A good thing, I never wanted to do that anyway. It was a restriction of the WWE games. That way I have to draw from one big pool rather than two smaller ones. Speaking of our roster…

For the context of this “Active” means the wrestler is finished and ready to go. Developmental means I started but haven’t finished work on these. All the others are either self-explanatory or not relevant. Anyway, the point is our roster is huge. I still make it a point to at least book everyone in a match. When the roster was smaller this would be every 3rd episode or so. Now it’s between 4 and 6 episodes until someone not currently involved in the title picture or ongoing storylines is booked for a match.

Here’s a small glimpse into my spreadsheet I use to, among other things, not forget to book people. The column “last match” is the relevant one here. And note how it says “All Matches” on the top. Yes, I do in fact have separate sets of columns for Singes, Tags and Battle Royals as well as “Other”. There are further bits here and there. But the most important part here, and what helped me gather some of the stats in this post is in the very top right. That’s right, I can restrict my monstrous booking spreadsheet to only show me data from a certain timeframe. Actually, let’s move on to some of those.

Here’s the singles rankings for each quartal so far. This uses the ELO formula. There’s a PPV every fourth episode and each column represents a span of three PPVs. The most notable thing here is that Suzan Blades was never really surpassed (except by VACANT who I’m excluding here because VACANT would always be on top). The only reason Suzan doesn’t show in the 25-36 EP range is that she didn’t have a singles match in that time. The rest of the field is always shifting with Pantha and Black being the only other mainstays. Black, though, is in the process of surpassing Suzan. Keep in mind, although it says it respects a range of Episodes, say 13-24, all this affects is that it excludes wrestlers who haven’t had a singles match in that time. The ranking doesn’t degrade so as soon as they have a match again they are where they were before, which is why Suzan is still on top.

This, however, actually reflects achievements in the specified timeframes. There’s a lot more back and forth here as only wins and losses in that time matter. Singles wins are weighted a little higher but tag and battle royal victories still count. Tragically Palpatine is on top for our most recent quartal. This doesn’t use the ELO formula but a much simplified formula that essentially awards points for winning matches. It’s not nearly as accurate as it doesn’t respect an opponent’s record.

Just some general stats regarding common match statistics and who is the “highest” one. It might come as a bit of a surprise that Black isn’t even listed in “Shortest Avg. Matches” considering that three of the shortest matches we’ve had all involve him squashing someone. What’s not surprising is that Midas is on top of the Longest Avg. Matches since he’s in the two matches we had that went over an hour. Mind that this does not mean the time he spent in that match but just that the matches he was in lasted really long, even if he was eliminated beforehand. The numbers after the dashes show the number of matches considered for the data given. I only really counted people who had more than 3 matches.

Here’s the same stats but for singles matches only. It’s still a bit of a shock that Black isn’t even in the four people with the shortest average match times. But really, this is because when he has longer matches they often approach or surpass 20 minutes. It’s no surprise to see Manic in the longest matches column, though. However, the fact that he’s surpassed by Pantha is a surprise, though, a small one. Freddie’s had that one match with Flamander that went over 40 minutes.

Here’s a couple of fun ones. We got four people who beat VACANT sorted by first to most recent. MGMon and Black are both the “monsters” who clean swept VACANT. They are sure to meet in the ring eventually. Best Bout Machines refers to who has the most matches marked as highlights. The highlights, by the way, can be found here. I should get on at least linking to all the episodes. The longest and shortest reigns are self-explanatory. The Top Workhorses refers to how many matches someone’s had on average per episode. This does consider the fact that some wrestlers have debuted later than others.

Now for our longest matches… the top two were the result of a bug with the mod pack that made it so people could not be pinned in elimination Battle Royals. It’s since been fixed but it resulted in two ludicrously long matches during the time the bug was active. The remaining two, funnily, are from the first and most recent episodes. The only common link between the two is EGO who was still called The Ego in the first match. When they went on excursion and came back stronger and better they simply went by EGO in all caps.

Our shortest matches, in the meantime, suspiciously feature Black in three matches. After he squashed Kayu I nerfed him considerably. He was always supposed to be super strong and a force to be reckoned with but I didn’t want him to straight-up squash people. But eventually, I decided that it’s more fun if it happens sometimes and reverted most of my changes soon after. So it’s a bit of a surprise that nothing of the sort happened for a very long time and then it happened again twice in a row. The shortest match, though, goes to Nero Sin submitting DCB in a First Fall Four-Way. DCB later beat Nero in the runback while Nero, after some stumbling back and forth, went on to beat Ryu for the Darkweight Title.

I don’t have a lot to say about these, but I have access to the numbers so I figured I might as well show them. They are numbers I found interesting but I don’t have any interesting stories to tell about them.

As for our title reigns, it turns out that the 7DP has had the most champions at 20. No surprise considering that it’s the hardest title to defend and luck plays just as much of a role as the ability to eliminate others from the matches. Never mind the fact that for PPVs the rules are stacked against the champ because they start that match, while someone new comes in every few minutes. This lists VACANT as the inaugural champion for every title because kayfabe.

Now, let’s get to the tag titles because this is where it gets weird. The lineage split when The Fun Gang won a title match via DQ. Due to this The Fun Gang as well as the Fallout Boys who later beat The Fun Gang both have unofficial Legion Tag Title reigns. The alternate lineage also doesn’t respect the oRa 66’ first reign. Y’know, the one where they actually defended the title. It also has one more champion than the official lineage. Once 1 1/2 Dragons captured the titles from the F.O.B. (during what was otherwise their first successful defense in the regular lineage) the lineage was the same except for the fact that there’s one more championship reign. The official lineage has 12 reigns, mine has 13.

And finally, let’s top it off with something silly. YerPalHal, the person behind Angus McMutton wanted to know how fast Angus fell after his initial strong phase. Subjectively it happened much faster seeing as he was knocked out in the beginning a 7DP match that main evented the show and was only woken up at the start of the next episode. If you simply look at his win percentage you can see a steady decline. Sometimes he comes back a little briefly but overall it’s all downhill. The second major beat of his story was when he was defeated by VACANT who he challenged to avenge Mina (who was fine). The loss crushed Angus so much that he gave up the rights to the letter G in his name and became Anus. Finally, I got to write “Anus at record low” into a spreadsheet. I included the timeframes from his major incidents until now as well and they show just how far Angus has fallen even better. Who did he piss off? Did he sneeze near Vince McMahon? Is it simply RNG that we decided to roll with. Who knows?