Week 44: RULES OF NATURE
Right! Here we go! This Saturday it’s time for… Rules of Nature??? Yeah, that’s what it’s called now.
Our hottest angle is probably that some character from the Star Wars extended canon got three other versions of himself and now they are upset at each other for whatever reason so they team up against each other. The Dash Rendars are fine.
Muscle Wizard and Suzan also face off after two knockouts and an awkward challenge. But we also have the three people Palpy beat via count-out teaming up against the oRa 66, who caused the count-outs in the first place. All of this happens immediately before Palpy is challenged by Black. And you always bet on Black. Except last week… when he lost the Hellweight No. 1 Contender match to Harmony ho is challenging for the Hellweight Championship this show.
Harmony Gray’s got a shot at the Hellweight Title! by PublicOpinion
#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Doctor Mutant (“c”) vs. Anna May
JACKHAMMER! 1- Just one… but later Doc did it again and it was a 3 so it was only partially buried.
Scene: Apollo tries to get IGgy to turn the Bunny Title match alter on the card into a honorable duel with no seconds allowed. IGgy twists Apollo’s idea into something potentially horrible by making the call that whoever wins the trios match before the Bunny Title :3 match gets to accompany either Black or Palpy to the ring.
#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Mr. Shakedown vs. A Mimic vs. Vacation Skeleton vs. Kelsey Slaughter vs. Boob Marley vs. Lemuel Post vs. Undeddie Guerrero vs. DivineCoffeeBinge (c)
Goodness! DCB somehow managed to not only remain in the match all the way to the end, but also WIN! And become one of the very few people to actually successfully defend the 7DP. Go DCB!
#3 Singles Match
Muscle Wizard vs. Suzan Blades
Suzan is Back baybee! (She beat Muscle Wizard without him actually hitting the Bigdawg’s Clenched Fist)
#4 Tag Team Match
The Dash Rendars (Dash Rendar & The El Chad) vs. The Dash Rendars (Ledasha Rendar & Fat Dash Rendar)
I think The team of The El Chad and Dash one? I don’t know though, or care.
Scene: The Dashes decide they are too stupid to be around each other??? Seems like they want to kill each other, which is good. But not today. Maybe soon. Can’t wait for the Dash Powers to explode.
#5 Trios Tornado Tag Match
Weeb Weaver, Apollo, EGO vs. oRa 66
At 15 Minutes both Weeb and EGO are out and it’s Apollo vs. three people. He holds out for 10 more minutes but it’s a mostly one-sided beatdown. The oRa win. And will accompany Palpatine to the ring in the next match.
#6 Bunny Championship :3
Black vs. Palpatine (c)
It turns out it didn’t matter that the rest of the oRa 66 accompanied Palpy. Thes distracted the ref so Palpy could recover from the pin. But he just stayed down. After the ref was back he made the three-count and Black wins. Not sure if freak occurence, bug or a botched mod setting. Either way. It was great.
#7 Legion Tag Championship
Space Wizards vs. Pineapple Pizza (c)
After the last match I hoped this one would suck. It didn’t. I mean, after the glorious finish of Black vs. Palpy it still was a letdown. No way to follow that. Oh, Pineapple Pizza win and retain.
#8 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Canada Alderman vs. Ryu (c)
Seems like Canada is determined to recapture the Darkweight Championship. She would not surrender until after the 30 minute mark.
Scene: Flamander comes to the ring. Wait, not that Flamander. The Comander Platinum one, the Star Pilot one… and he calls out the Hellranger? Who promptly appears and asserts that the Star Pilot is a fake. Still a challenge is issued. Hellranger says he’ll think about it but Star Pilot seems sure it’s already accepted.
#9 VACANT Open Challenge
Grace Thoruson vs. VACANT
Oh boy, do you think Grace can even last 10 minutes? She lasted 18. And got VACANT downed once before she couldn’t get back up when she was downed for the second time.
#10 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Harmony Gray vs. Fomore (c)
And for our Main Event we got two wrestlers with a submission repertoire trying to break each others bodies. It took over 20 minutes but it turns out Fomore’s body has a breaking point, but it took multiple attempts with the Arachnid’s Grip. New Champ! Harmony did it!
