Get stoned and just watch this I garuntee you wont think about any other song for awhile.
I think inserting links messed with the poll but Iâm not sure. Iâm gonna keep testing it as we go on this adventue together! Regardless, vote yaâll!
- Arp1033: âKILL THEM ALL!â
- rysticx: âReplace with this DKC song.â
- Shmoo: âInduce long term memory loss.â
- ratwithscarf: âDrown it out with the infinite repository of songs about white male pain.â
- IncredibleFrown: âTravel back in time and assassinate Vertical Horizon.â
- shinyemptyhead: âDamage an artery in your brain known to effect music memory.â
- Kokoronis: âLock yourself in a room with the Crazy Bus theme.â
- Voidburger: âCheck out this sweet playlist!â
- shibert: âMake a music video from Event Horizon.â
- GreatJoe: âEurovision song contests.â
- Kuuribro: âMove to Canada where the video is not available.â
- blingdenston: âReconnect with that person who made you feel these ways.â
- That_Good_Good_Chris: âListen to Smash Mouth.â
- MiseryMiseryMisery: âStart a Vertical Horizon cover band and ape them exacty.â
- Esotericbanana: âOwn up for your sins that lead you to hear this song.â
- runtch: âMove to a country that blocks the song.â
- Mas: âClaim someone elseâs head as your own. One without the song stuck in it.â
- jackknife: âGet stoned and watch this AMV.â
0 voters
Voting is only going to be open until noon tomorrow so get those democracy juices flowing!
Sorry Iâm late, I keep losing track of time. The votes are in and @Shmoo won with 22% of the vote! Congratulations on your victory.
Please post up your problem to solve for us all as soon as you can Shmoo so the game can continue.
Iâm awarding honorable mention to @ratwithscarf who only got 5% of the vote because their suggestion was art.
Finally, Iâve won SOMETHING in life.
So I have a lot of laundry, a washing machine that keeps breaking down, and a brain that hates me being productive. Iâm running out of casual and office appropriate clothes, so eventually Iâm going to be stuck wearing formal attire while going âcommandoâ if I donât get this solved. Who among you has the best solution to my laundry conundrum?
Lazy? Naked? I got you fam.
Garfield. Specifically the Cult of Garf, which was started by myself, my friend Alex, and noted cartoonist/Garfield super fan Chip Zdarsky. Weâll send over a bunch of min-er fellow fans over to clean your clothes and or fix your machine so that you can eat your favorite type of food and nap and hate Mondays. We donât approve of kicking puppy dogs off of table, but we certainly donât shun it.
The cost you ask? Donât worry about that. All we ask is access to your social security number, bank accounts and credit cards. Oh and snacks, obviously. Itâs a bargain if you really think about it!
Quite simple. Quit your job and donât go anywhere other than weddings. You canât go wrong with free food. (as far as going commando, well, who needs to know )
Body paint.
Alright, so this oneâs pretty easy. Get a bunch of superglue, head down to your local quarry, and find a nice large pile of rocks. Once you find one, youâre going to need to get naked, coat yourself in the superglue, and start rolling around in those rocks-youâre aiming for a nice, even coating of rocks that covers your entire body. When you have finished, youâll have not only formed a permanent rock suit that doesnât need to be washed and eliminates the need for any other sort of clothing, but youâll also have created a hard exoskeleton that can fend off dangerous predators.
The issue at hand is clear: Your brain is stymieing you from getting anywhere in life. Ask yourself: donât I deserve better than this brain? Donât I deserve a brain who will encourage me to succeed? Your brain may not be at all receptive to the commitment it involves but you could start by seeking counseling over your relationship with your brain. It could take weeks, even months but if it works out, it will all be worth it. However, it may not work out - your brain may never mend its ways and you will have to do the unthinkable: Leave your brain and seek another one who will do right by you. Be wary of your potential matches however; when brains are alone itâs often for very compelling reasons.
Only after all that can you be ready to just call a repairman already, you goddamn lazy asshole.
Hi yes Mister/Miss Withscarf. I represent Marvel Comics, and we canât help but notice that your plan sounds remarkably like one The Thing, a character weâve owned the rights for about 50+. Luckily for you, we do not own the film rights for the Fantastic 4 family of characters, so we ask that we keep all your the worst advice related to all Fox characters. Thanks for your time
-a totally real lawyer.
Time to hit the gym, bro.
Nobodyâs gonna care if youâre naked if youâre jacked. Now, I understand that you think that you might get cold, but youâre wrong. If youâre jacked enough, attractive people of your preferred gender/sexuality will FLOCK to you and warm your body with theirs, as well as providing a useful shield against the elements.
Iâve got just two solutions for you friend.
[spoiler]
:911:[/spoiler]
https://www.amazon.com/wafeng-convex-personality-underwear-animal/dp/B01EP2WQFA/?tag=om-inco-20
Done.
Motioning that this should be disqualified on the grounds of being actual GREAT advice.
Just smuggle the stankiest clothes into the vents at work, so that everyone is constantly inundated with the redolence of your laziness. Then wear whatever, everyoneâs gonna think that itâs just the workplace that smells. If thereâs ACTUAL staining, stay late one night and shoot a thin layer of soy sauce onto the lights so that the entire place is bathed in brown-yellow unradiance, hiding your shame.
Just get old.
People just pretend theyâre ok with whatever outfit when youâre old.
Step 1: go to the store and buy adult diapers to use for underwear. The kind that is for people who really need it for personal issues and not because they ran out of boxers/briefs/panties.
Step 2: look the cashier in the eye as you buy a box of diapers and only the diapers.
Step 3: go home and open the box. Take out a pair of diapers. Hold them in your hands. Read the instructions on how to apply a pair of diapers to yourself. Think to yourself âso itâs really come to thisâ. Really realize that your inability to get this problem fixed has driven you to this moment of desperation.
Step 4: pick a pair of clothes that you donât wear often and just go commando in them. Then load up all of your laundry in your car and go to the nearest laundromat and wash everything except your âI donât wear these often and Iâm butt-naked beneath them so I guess these are just Laundry Clothes nowâ clothes.
Step 5: Open the box of diapers and hold them in your hands and bring them up to your face every time you consider putting off getting your washer fixed/not actively addressing the problem. Just remind yourself that these exist and you have them and you are not going to be this lazy.
Burn down your house/apartment with all your possessions in it. When the insurance company investigates tell them you only need your clothing replaced. Boom fresh new clothes.
I mean, do you even need to do anything? Weâre way overdue for a sequel to The Emperorâs New Clothes, this is as good a place as any to start.
Woops itâs my birthday so I forgot the poll! @ratwithscarf is gonna get it up! Iâm so sorry! I promise to be more vigilant!
Iâm too drunk to poll⌠thank you @ratwithscarf!