Hmmm, I think it’s time we put Garbo Girl in the Hyperbolic Time Crate for some training. She seems mighty distracted by something. She needs to learn how to fight without items strewn around her.
Damn it Girl, if your going to lose, at least make it entertaining and have some back and forth. Not cool to see you get steamrolled everytime.
Angus is sadly passed out from a drunken stupor after his victory he did ask me to send this along to the lpfwa universe as an accurate representation of his feelings.
1 Like
IGgy
April 19, 2018, 11:02pm
#133
It’s time again for LPFWA!
Join me again this Saturday, at the usual wrestle time on the usual wrestle-channel.
It’s the last show before THE BIG SHOW which is the name of the next PPV because I couldn’t really think of anything. The WWE wrestler Big Show is probably gonna show up.
You can vote on the bonus match here!
#1 Buscus Brawl
Bone Pimp © vs. Dr. Ham
#2 3-Way
Samus vs. Lady of the Lancet vs. Konami Kouda
#3 Hardcore Match
Garbo Girl vs. Yelizaveta RN
#4 Bunny Championship :3
Lore Convoluter vs. Kylo Ren ©
#5 Singles
a tree vs. Freddie Hope
Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe
https://goo.gl/forms/C2CmdthMYHU1cFky1
Main Event: LP Superstar Championship
D the Destroyer vs. Palpatine ©
IGgy
April 21, 2018, 8:43pm
#134
Show starts in 15 minutes. https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
1st Match: Bone Pimp © vs. Dr. Ham for the Buscus
2nd Match: Samus vs. Lady of the Lancet vs. Konami Kouda
3rd Match: Garbo Gril vs. Yelizaveta RN
4th Match: Lore Convoluter vs. Kylo Ren © for the Bunny Title :3
5th Match: a tree vs. Freddie Hope
Intermission: Dash Rendar vs. Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle vs. Scott Steiner
Main Event: D the Destroyer vs. Palpatine © for the LP Superstar Title
IGgy
April 22, 2018, 11:47pm
#136
LPFWA 2k18 Episode #23 - Lout picks a Fight With Angle (numbers don’t lie)
Lout picks a Fight With Angle (numbers don’t lie) by YerPalHal
Tevery Best" post="483368328:
Previously, on Adventures of Lore Convoluter:
To understand how I know your name, first you have to hear my convoluted backstory!
Cool, I guess.
I was not always the greatest mathematician who ever lived. In fact, there was a time, a long while ago, when I did not care for mathematics at all.
It was then that I met my master, who taught me to love numbers, and explore probabilities.
My master’s name was… Edward Lorenz.
I don’t think this has much to do with anything.
Well, I kinda had this free association when I read the LPFWA roster, and I thought what the hell, so I sneaked into your locker and read through your immigration forms.
…why did you decide to tell me this?
Not much of a reason. But I also have to tell you something else I calculated!
gasps
What would that be?
I have learned the secret of unlocking the true power of the Power Gloves!
…I already know it?
The forces involved in the activity of just one Power Glove are amazing. The two are impossible to contain without an outside circuit that could ground them! And only one material can be used for it!
Yeah, Lepfawium. I know that. It’s what the LPFWA championship belts are made of.
Which means that if you win a belt, you will be able to unlock the true power of the Power Gloves, and be unstoppable!
I know. I told you I know that.
So, to make it up for going through your stuff, I pulled some strings. You’re getting a title match in Episode 23. All right, see ya!
Huh. Who would have thought that crazy guy has so much influence backstage in LPFWA.
ANYHOW, now I must prepare for my most important fight… so far.
Kylo Ren might have the Force…
It won’t help him much against THE POWER. Glove.
It’s so bad.
That line, I mean.
Scene: Goat has a serious talk about the losing streak with Bone Pimp. Then Chris Pine comes and says “Meow, that’s right.”
#1 Buscus Brawl
Bone Pimp © vs. Dr. Ham
The streak continues! Bone Pimp takes up the loss!
#2 3-Way
Samus vs. Lady of the Lancet vs. Konami Kouda
Samus wrecks everybody beautifully and gets to challenge for the Kawaii Title next week!
#3 Hardcore Match
Garbo Girl vs. Yelizaveta RN
Yelizaveta does what she does best. Make people unable to get up anymore.
Scene: Palpy talks about his revenge plans against various people
#4 Bunny Championship :3
Lore Convoluter vs. Kylo Ren ©
Kylo retains, but not without Face’s interference. Palpy would be proud if he wasn’t so mad about this.
#5 Singles
a tree vs. Freddie Hope
Woah! That went on for a while, but Freddie eventually got tree down for the 1… 2… 3…
Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe
Dash Rendar vs. Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle vs. Scott Steiner
[spoiler]Normally if you go one on one with another wrestler you got a fifty fifty chance of winning. But Dash is a genetic freak and he’s not normal, so you got a 100% at least at beat him. Then you add Kurt Angle to the mix, your chance of winning drastic go up, because Kurt Angle KNOWS he can’t beat me so he’s not even gonna try. But then he pins me anyway and I’m sad. The numbers don’t lie, they are 1, 2, 3.
Main Event: LP Superstar Championship
D the Destroyer vs. Palpatine ©
D wins by countout, which means Palpy retains through Championship’s advantage yadda yadda.
Scene: Nuffkins announces an open challenge, Fred Hope answers[/spoiler]
SCENE???!??!?!?
YerPalHal issues a FOIT ME M8 challenge to IGgy, who is the reigning champion as Stone Cold Boss Man Nakamura
Don’t remember FOIT ME M8? Here’s how it goes.
Hey everyone, let me introduce a new Championship belt!
The FOIT ME M8 Title!
If you watched the last two streams you already know what’s up with that one but I’m finally making it official. A belt challenged for and defended by actual people playing WWE 2k18 on PS4. Anyone can challenge as long as they honor the rules.
Belt is challenged for by saying “FOIT ME M8” to the reigning champion.
Ideally these matches take place after a stream but if not title matches need to be recorded in some way.
All participants have to pick random, except for the reigning champion, who uses the wrestler they won the title with.
It’s a shoot, brother!
If the title changes hands the wrestler who held it until then ACTUALLY FUCKING DIES FOR REAL! and can’t be used anymore and must be skipped. Except the Undertaker. He always comes back.
If you are champion you are allowed to create a champion’s entrance and attire for the wrestler you won with. You are also allowed to change their twitter handle to @Sting . You don’t have to do any of that but that’s what I’m doing. But keep in mind that the actual title is the Twitter handle @Sting . As champion you SHOULD bring it to the ring at all times.
If there’s really messed up lag across an ocean then that’s cool, I guess. The netcode is bad anyway.
Current Champion:
IGgy as Big Boss Man '91
Past Champions (dead people):
JunpeiHyde as Sting
Failed Challengers (also dead people):
JunpeiHyde as The Miz
IGgy
April 25, 2018, 11:53pm
#137
This Saturday we will have THE BIG SHOW (feat. The Big Show)
As usual, you are welcome to vote on who gets to face THE THREE WAY AT SACRIFICE in a four-way at TNA Sacrifice
#1 Eight-Way Chaos
Flamander vs. Fruitsniffer vs. Majestic Goat-Man vs. Toad vs. Lore Convoluter vs. Macro Man Keynes vs. D the Destroyer vs. Big Show!
#2 Singles Match
Woolsey Smythe vs. Thundercat Chris Pine
#3 Revenge for that one time
Garbo Girl vs. DCB
#4 Kawaii Championship
Samus vs. Tolvie ©
#5 Co-Comm Championship
Hugrule Warriors vs. Unlikely Roommates ©
#6 Bunny Championship :3
a tree vs. Kylo Ren ©
#7 LP Superstar Championship
anilEhilated vs. Palpatine
Intermission: LPFWA vs. the Universe
https://goo.gl/forms/MuOnkluglEOf1d553 vs. Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle vs. Scott Steiner
#8 LPFWA Championship
Fred Hope vs. Nuffkins ©
Main Event: LPFWA Women‘s Championship (Match to unify the timelines???) TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS
Hell-Ena © vs. Nadira ©
#99999 FOIT ME M8???
Maybe.
My brothers in arms thon hugrule warriors let us huv thon match of the night and tear the roof aff the hoose. Win or lose on either side I must say it is a pleasure tae face ye two again not as the jerk i wis when i first arrived but as the warrior who respects ye both.
And if me and Tommy do lose drinks are oan me my friends…but ye’ll huv tae work for it lads. Angus does not buy drinks fir free
1 Like
“The Hugrule Warriors will always be ready to throw down with the Unlikely Roommates! Be ready to defend that belt with all you got!”
1 Like
IGgy
April 28, 2018, 9:35pm
#140
Show starts in 15 minutes. https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
1st Match: Eight-Way Chaos
2nd Match: Woolsey Smythe vs. Thundercat Chris Pine
3rd Match: Garbo Girl vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
4th Match: Samus vs. Tolvie ©
5th Match: Hugrule Warriors vs. Unlikely Roommates ©
6th Match: A tree vs. Kylo Ren ©
7th Match: anilEhilated vs. Palpatine ©
Intermission: IGgy vs. Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle vs. Scott Steiner
8th Match: Freddie Hope vs. Nuffkins ©
9th Match: Hell-Ena © vs. Nadira ©
It matters not whether Garbo wins or loses, so long as the fight is good. Winning comes secondary as she needed to learn how to fight first. Maybe after this she can start winning matches but I very much doubt that at this point, unfortunately .
1 Like
IGgy
April 30, 2018, 12:17am
#142
LPFWA 2k18 Episode #24 - Large Punching Fucker Wrestles Angrily
Large Punching Fucker Wrestles Angrily (Deathmaster780)
Lord Palpatine Flubs Wrestling, gets anilEhilated (nine-gear crow)
(e)Limination Pin Forgotten, Win Aborted (nine-gear crow)
IGgy IGsen" post="483506719:
This Saturday we will have THE BIG SHOW (feat. The Big Show)
As usual, you are welcome to vote on who gets to face THE THREE WAY AT SACRIFICE in a four-way at TNA Sacrifice
#1 Eight-Way Chaos
Flamander vs. Fruitsniffer vs. Majestic Goat-Man vs. Toad vs. Lore Convoluter vs. Macro Man Keynes vs. D the Destroyer vs. Big Show!
#2 Singles Match
Woolsey Smythe vs. Thundercat Chris Pine
#3 Revenge for that one time
Garbo Girl vs. DCB
#4 Kawaii Championship
Samus vs. Tolvie ©
#5 Co-Comm Championship
Hugrule Warriors vs. Unlikely Roommates ©
#6 Bunny Championship :3
a tree vs. Kylo Ren ©
#7 LP Superstar Championship
anilEhilated vs. Palpatine
Intermission: LPFWA vs. the Universe
https://goo.gl/forms/MuOnkluglEOf1d553 vs. Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle vs. Scott Steiner
#8 LPFWA Championship
Fred Hope vs. Nuffkins ©
Main Event: LPFWA Women‘s Championship (Match to unify the timelines???) TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS
Hell-Ena © vs. Nadira ©
#99999 FOIT ME M8???
Maybe.
DivineCoffeeBinge" post="483514244:
Wait, am I getting revenge for something? Or am I getting revenged upon?
These storylines became much harder to understand when that Lore Convoluter guy showed up.
long pause
Okay, no, I’m a coffee elemental because I transformed out of desperation after I went without coffee for almost a whole day because Dash Rendar stole all the food on the moon. Never mind, these storylines were always hard to follow. I’m gonna go hang out with my friend who is a witch and who may be having a secret love affair with a face-biting demoness, and then after I’ll hang out with my other friend who is also a bunny and who one time I punched her in the head a lot and we broke the universe.
And have coffee. So much coffee.
Rather Watch Them" post="483588462:
What? Oh right, let’s do lunch or something. Hey, you should really get to know Hell-ena a little better. I’ve been helping her work through her… rage, I guess? I’ve even let her go into my candle room…
Y’know, for candle stuff.
anilEhilated" post="483560607:
: -this thing on? Does the red light mean it’s on? Or is it just a cruel joke of the universe, a sound bit of echoing “fuck you”, a little blippy middle finger pointed at-
: Okay, it’s definitely off now. My security measures have clearly been compromised. They found out I blew up Palpatine. Masterfully executed, of course, except it was fully sufficient to blow up just about anyone with that trapped belt, it just… happened to be the most vengeful asshole within a five kilometer radius. static sound Take that, deaf dictaphone of doom!
: Light still red, thing still off. So. Not quite feeling myself lately. Lack of sleep, lack of energy, and I swear those vents are shrinking around me. Last week I was stuck in one for a day. Still. Potential for exploitation is high. Only a mind as brilliant as yours truly could really…
: Championship. Potential to see beyond the veil. To tread where no one has tread before, except for a bunch of lunatics, losers and glorified fanfiction protagonists. Naturally. Privileged position, though: more to see, more to find out, more to remember. Also more to booby trap for security; I wonder if I could turn the dictaphone into one, let me just- more static
As I put my genius to work, need to collect my thoughts. Weak. Sleep-deprived. Driven by sheer force of will. This won’t do, can’t have my - it’s not revenge when I blow him up, is it? Can’t have my pre venge if I’m weak. I need an edge. I need a way to beat the system.
: I need coffee .
: I know of a treasure trove. Might leave a little something in return. The beautiful thing about this place is that you literally cannot blow up someone who would not deserve it… Come on, you stupid scre- static
: What the hell does it mean “speak into the device when the red light is on”?
Hattie Masters" post="483565219:
: Alright friendos! It’s time for me to break my vow of silence, since I’m going for the big belt and so I need to talk the talk, not just walk the walk!
: Yeah it sucked being beaten in the Co-Commentator match but damn did it feel good to put on a great show! But after that, I went away and thought to myself, have I gone astray? Have I spent too much time thinking that I was one of the Moon Saviours, and not about Wrestling?
: And so I went to see my old wrestling coach: A bear I found in the woods. And suplexed him until i felt like I was ready to fight again!
: Then I fought a tree. And you know what? IT WAS AMAZING! Trees have always been a respected enemy, seeing as how they are ridiculously hard to suplex and if you try to give them a clothesline you just hurt yourself after a while. But I came out victorious!
: SO LISTEN UP NUFFKINS! I’m going to give it my all in that title shot, so you better be ready. Cuz if you give me anything less than 110% of your all, I am going to beat you so fucking hard you’ll be eating through a straw for disrespecting the title like that. But I’m looking forward to seeing you in the ring, friendo!
yerpalhal:
My brothers in arms thon hugrule warriors let us huv thon match of the night and tear the roof aff the hoose. Win or lose on either side I must say it is a pleasure tae face ye two again not as the jerk i wis when i first arrived but as the warrior who respects ye both.
And if me and Tommy do lose drinks are oan me my friends…but ye’ll huv tae work for it lads. Angus does not buy drinks fir free
Scene: Big Show has multiple face and heel turns
#1 Eight-Way Chaos
Flamander vs. Fruitsniffer vs. Majestic Goat-Man vs. Toad vs. Lore Convoluter vs. Macro Man Keynes vs. D the Destroyer vs. Big Show!
A draw between Goat-Man and D
#2 Singles Match
Woolsey Smythe vs. Thundercat Chris Pine
Thundercat does the scratching post on the black and white man
#3 Revenge for that one time
Garbo Girl vs. DCB
#4 Kawaii Championship
Samus vs. Tolvie ©
The too big women clash at THE BIG SHOW and Tolvie wins
#5 Co-Comm Championship
Hugrule Warriors vs. Unlikely Roommates ©
Oh, boy! A title change! The Hugrule Warriors win their first Championship!
#6 Bunny Championship :3
a tree vs. Kylo Ren ©
The tree cannot repeat his victory against Kylo. Is this the end for the tree??? Anyway, Kylo Ren wins
#7 LP Superstar Championship
anilEhilated vs. Palpatine
Aaaand, anil wins the title.
Intermission: LPFWA vs. the Universe
IGgy vs. Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle vs. Scott Steiner
The numbers DID lie. Joe pins Steiner
#8 LPFWA Championship
Fred Hope vs. Nuffkins ©
WHAT A WAR but Nuffkins cannot be beaten
Main Event: LPFWA Women‘s Championship (Match to unify the timelines???) TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS
Hell-Ena © vs. Nadira ©
Hell-Ena scores both of her falls before Nadira can score one, but the match still felt close fought
IGgy
May 3, 2018, 8:50pm
#143
This week’s show will happen at the usual time and place
And we also gotta vote on who gets to go against Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle an Scott Steiner this week here This’ll go on until one of our guys actually wins.
#1 Buscus Brawl
Bone Pimp vs. Angus McMutton
#2 Three-Way
Jumpy-Chan vs. DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Konami Kouda
#3 Singles Match
Yelizaveta RN vs. Lady of the Lancet
#4 Bunny Championship :3
Tommy Wiseau vs. Kylo Ren ©
#5 Singles Match
D the Destroyer vs. The Majestic Goat-Man
#6 LP Superstar Championship
Toad vs. anilEhilated ©
#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
https://goo.gl/forms/C97FISB72BxYeiU72
“Oh heey evrybody, sorry for checkin’ in so late but, after my big win with Link we went celebratin’ with mi familia, and I was kinda doin’ fine until Angus brought out some real strong stuff, and I don’t remember much after that… Anyway, we’re the new champs! Viva los Guerreros Hugrule!”
1 Like
That wis a good night wie the warriors. They can handle the good scottish stuff well. kinda proud o them beating us. just wish the news i goat after wis as great. ok Angus game face time fir a shouty heel promo…
First I murder bone pimp an tak his place in the sinners then I come after ye Iggy fir putting me in this situation in the first place ya alchy jerkaff. I am Angus Mcmutton I am the Nemesis — I am the sheepman — I am the shape of things to come — the lord of the bru — holder of the dram sinister — the death bringer — I am the one who waits on the edge of your dreams — I am all these things and many more
heh god bless you nemesis the warlock ye huv way too many good quotes ah could borrow
1 Like
IGgy
May 5, 2018, 8:44pm
#146
Show starts in 15 minutes. https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
1st Match: Bone Pimp © vs. Angus McMutton for the Buscus
2nd Match: Jumpy-Chan vs. DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Konami Kouda
3rd Match: Yelizaveta RN vs. Lady of the Lancet
4th Match: Tommy Wiseau vs. Kylo Ren © for the Bunny Title :3
5th Match: D the Destroyer vs. The Majestic Goat-Man
Main Event: Toad vs. anilEhilated © for the LP Superstar Title
Bonus: Toad vs. Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle vs. Scott Steiner
IGgy
May 7, 2018, 6:19pm
#147
LPFWA 2k18 Episode #25 - Longhorned Player Finishes with Attitude
Episode Title by Deathmaster780
Scene: Angus and Tommy talk for a bit before Angus goes to face his fate
#1 Buscus Brawl
Bone Pimp vs. Angus McMutton
Angus is the 1 in and tha 6 and 1, breaking Bone Pimp’s losing streak by losing himself.
#2 Three-Way
Jumpy-Chan vs. DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Konami Kouda
Konami finally begins showing us what she’s got since the tournament and takes another win
#3 Singles Match
Yelizaveta RN vs. Lady of the Lancet
Yelizaveta beats up Lady, throwing her around a bit
#4 Bunny Championship :3
Tommy Wiseau vs. Kylo Ren ©
Okay, just take a step back and let this sink in: Tommy Wiseau, writer, director and actor in The Room defeats Kylo Ren, a guy who actually has superhuman powers.
#5 Singles Match
D the Destroyer vs. The Majestic Goat-Man
Goat wins by countout while posing in the corner. TRANQUILO
#6 LP Superstar Championship
Toad vs. anilEhilated ©
So there was a match supposed instead we witnessed a murder. Toad completely SQUASHED anil. It’s not even funny. Just kidding, it totally is
#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Toad vs. Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle vs. Scott Steiner
Steiner pinned Toad again. After the squash in the match previous one might now think of the implications this has concerning Scott Steiner’s power level but then you remember this isn’t canon. Probably. Steiner DID beat Toad in the past, after all.
this was not a good week for angus not a good week at all
1 Like
IGgy
May 11, 2018, 2:01pm
#149
Oh, crap! I forgot to post the match card yesterday and on wednesday! Well…
It’ll be at the usual time, of course . Only this link now links you to the page for the “series” which to my understanding lets you set it up so you get a reminder for whenever I go live with LPFWA rather than having to opt in to every single event. In addition to giving you the exact time in your timezone which is the main reason I put these here. But there’s features.
Of course you’ll also have the honor to vote on who gets to be the fourth wheel in the legendary THREE WAY AT SACRIFICE
#1 Buscus Brawl
Angus McMutton © vs. Woolsey Smythe
#2 Just a friendly garbage exhibition.
Garbo Barba vs. Garbo Girl
#3 Bunny Championship :3
Fruitsniffer vs. Tommy Wiseau ©
#4 LPFWA Women’s Championship No. 1 Contender Match.
Valerie Easton vs. Nadira
Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe
https://goo.gl/forms/C4llGdXWKCd53Fzq2 vs. Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle vs. Scott Steiner
#5 Tag Team Match.
Los Ingobernables de Luna vs. The Third Street Sinners
Main Event: Kawaii Championship
Konami Kouda vs. Tolvie ©
right buscus…gameface must be rid o it. before it drives me mental…well mentaler
ah say…ah say boy, you did the right thing sacrificing yourself so bonepimp can rejoin his comrades.
who the -bleep- are you
Just a part of your whiskey addled brain boy. The tiny man inside whispering to you. and ah say to you boy to shove your hand in Smythes chest and rip his spine out
um isn’t he a ghost
don’t tell me you believe that drunk fools kayfabe bull boy. next you’ll think that you put on your thick accent cause thats how you think people outside of scotland thin scots speak…now drink boy and prepare
um yes mr voice in mah heid