This might be weird, but Iām bugged by the lack of cutting utensils for the pizza. How would you even eat your horrific printed nightmare disk?
You donāt. Thatās the secret
You roll it into a gooey burrito, because that crust still looked uncooked when it got transferred to the box.
edit: I re-watched it and he got a little box from a slot labeled ācubiertosā, which is ācutleryā.
Iām glad Teen is digging that horrifying abomination, but thatās not pizza. Thatās the facsimile of pizza our future robot overlords will design purely to spite us. I think the cheese/pepperoni film layer is the worst part.
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Personally I love the center of my pizza to be just a pure void, a cheese desert devoid of any and all flavor.
I know you are only gently nudging us down this dark road to pizza oblivion, and not to plunge us fully into the abyss, but this machine is absolutely not up to the Pasqually pizza standard.
unacceptable crust!
I delivered for a Cottage Inn pizza in my early twenties and my boss was a furious man, maybe four and a half feet tall and solid muscle from the waist up. He was one of those dudes who clearly was overcompensating for his height by getting as swole as possible. He would get in screaming arguments with the cookstaff and often fling entire pans of cheesebread across the kitchen if the food wasnāt meeting his arbitrary standard of quality.
The pizza was good tho, and it paid well, after all the tips.
If you ever ask for garlic butter on your crust itās probably just a drizzle of this shit with garlic powder shook onto it.
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Can verify. I worked at Dominoās for a couple years, and this is the ābutterā that they put on the cinna stix or white pizzas, and is also combined with some garlic-herb powder to create the garlicky salt sludge that they put on the pizza crust sometimes.
edit: Oh, but at Dominoās it comes in a big clear jug without the branding. It just says like āDOMINOS BUTTER FLAVORED OILā or something, and itās the same style of bottle/label as the dominos franchise cleaning products 
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Iāve never been to a Chuck E. Cheese before, but that pizza looks super bland. Iām not talking about toppings or anything, Iām generally a cheese and pepperoni only kind of guy, but something about the way that pizza looks is justā¦ ugh. It looks like itās made of cardboard or something. Speaking of cardboardā¦
This is another of my favorite pizza nightmares. I used to eat frozen pizza when I was younger, and I donāt think I ever want to go back. Iāve seen some people talking about new brands of frozen pizza that are good, but I straight up do not believe them.
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Ok I need to ask you pizza experts something I remember hearing from a long time ago: Is pepperoni stuck to the bottom of a pizza cursed pizza?
Thereās a joke somewhere about the phrase āmeat applicatorā, but Iām not prepared to write it.
The trick is that frozen pizza isnāt actually the same food as real pizza. Itās related in the same way that a crepe is related to a pancake.
Except that frozen pizza is garbage and I love it.
My biggest issue with frozen pizza is that when my dad would cook it, heād always put extra shredded cheese on it. Heād also use whatever variety we had, so a āfiesta blendā of cheese on top wouldnāt be uncommon. Years of eating already not great frozen pizza with extra not-good cheese on top put me off of the stuff permanently.
The greatest thing I have ever done in my life is order this man a pizza.
Thereās this New York Style pizza place around here that people wouldnāt shut up about, it was greasy and real gross. But thereās a place called La Piola that is real fucking good. If youāre in the DC area and wanna try a decent deep dish District of Pi is good and if you want the usual hit up We the Pizza and thank me later.
Here to spread the pizza gospel.
Which is worse, Papa Johnās or Little Caesars? (Or CiCis?)
In my experience usually the only good frozen pizzas come from already acceptable pizza places producing their own frozen ones for distribution.
A really good local take and bake pizza place supplies every nearby supermarket with their frozen pizzas, and theyāre usually a good take-home option. Itās turned me off other frozen pizzas forever.
How does everyone feel about pizza rolls?
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I used to have a pizza job and now Iām glad Iām working on something that isnāt pizza.
Do YoU KnoW wHAt CalZone MEanS iN ITaliA
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Thereās a heck of a lot of things to do on top of the pizza, but if youāre aiming for world class, you have to think about the bottom as well. And that means one thing: rolling your dough on corn flour. Sounds weird, but improves things 100%.
[quote=āJenner, post:94, topic:881ā]
The greatest thing I have ever done in my life is order this man a pizza.
[/quote]She only ordered it, I still had to pay for it. 
Little Caesars is the pizza you get when youāre thinkin āfuck it, Iām in the mood to just put a bunch of garbage pizza in my body right nowā
Iāve never liked Papa Johnās tho, the sauce tastes weird and also the owner is a fuckass.
Ciciās is a fucking all you can eat buffet, imagine if old country buffet just served pizza and you wonāt be far off.