Let's P'zone - Enter a Realm of Pizza Discussion 🍕


This might be weird, but I’m bugged by the lack of cutting utensils for the pizza. How would you even eat your horrific printed nightmare disk?


You don’t. That’s the secret


You roll it into a gooey burrito, because that crust still looked uncooked when it got transferred to the box.

edit: I re-watched it and he got a little box from a slot labeled “cubiertos”, which is “cutlery”.


I’m glad Teen is digging that horrifying abomination, but that’s not pizza. That’s the facsimile of pizza our future robot overlords will design purely to spite us. I think the cheese/pepperoni film layer is the worst part.


Personally I love the center of my pizza to be just a pure void, a cheese desert devoid of any and all flavor.

I know you are only gently nudging us down this dark road to pizza oblivion, and not to plunge us fully into the abyss, but this machine is absolutely not up to the Pasqually pizza standard.


unacceptable crust!


I delivered for a Cottage Inn pizza in my early twenties and my boss was a furious man, maybe four and a half feet tall and solid muscle from the waist up. He was one of those dudes who clearly was overcompensating for his height by getting as swole as possible. He would get in screaming arguments with the cookstaff and often fling entire pans of cheesebread across the kitchen if the food wasn’t meeting his arbitrary standard of quality.

The pizza was good tho, and it paid well, after all the tips.

If you ever ask for garlic butter on your crust it’s probably just a drizzle of this shit with garlic powder shook onto it.


Can verify. I worked at Domino’s for a couple years, and this is the “butter” that they put on the cinna stix or white pizzas, and is also combined with some garlic-herb powder to create the garlicky salt sludge that they put on the pizza crust sometimes.

edit: Oh, but at Domino’s it comes in a big clear jug without the branding. It just says like “DOMINOS BUTTER FLAVORED OIL” or something, and it’s the same style of bottle/label as the dominos franchise cleaning products :staredog:


I’ve never been to a Chuck E. Cheese before, but that pizza looks super bland. I’m not talking about toppings or anything, I’m generally a cheese and pepperoni only kind of guy, but something about the way that pizza looks is just… ugh. It looks like it’s made of cardboard or something. Speaking of cardboard…

This is another of my favorite pizza nightmares. I used to eat frozen pizza when I was younger, and I don’t think I ever want to go back. I’ve seen some people talking about new brands of frozen pizza that are good, but I straight up do not believe them.


Ok I need to ask you pizza experts something I remember hearing from a long time ago: Is pepperoni stuck to the bottom of a pizza cursed pizza?


There’s a joke somewhere about the phrase “meat applicator”, but I’m not prepared to write it.


The trick is that frozen pizza isn’t actually the same food as real pizza. It’s related in the same way that a crepe is related to a pancake.

Except that frozen pizza is garbage and I love it.


My biggest issue with frozen pizza is that when my dad would cook it, he’d always put extra shredded cheese on it. He’d also use whatever variety we had, so a ‘fiesta blend’ of cheese on top wouldn’t be uncommon. Years of eating already not great frozen pizza with extra not-good cheese on top put me off of the stuff permanently.


The greatest thing I have ever done in my life is order this man a pizza.

There’s this New York Style pizza place around here that people wouldn’t shut up about, it was greasy and real gross. But there’s a place called La Piola that is real fucking good. If you’re in the DC area and wanna try a decent deep dish District of Pi is good and if you want the usual hit up We the Pizza and thank me later.

Here to spread the pizza gospel.

Which is worse, Papa John’s or Little Caesars? (Or CiCis?)


In my experience usually the only good frozen pizzas come from already acceptable pizza places producing their own frozen ones for distribution.

A really good local take and bake pizza place supplies every nearby supermarket with their frozen pizzas, and they’re usually a good take-home option. It’s turned me off other frozen pizzas forever.


How does everyone feel about pizza rolls?

:nws: :nws: :nws:


I used to have a pizza job and now I’m glad I’m working on something that isn’t pizza.


Do YoU KnoW wHAt CalZone MEanS iN ITaliA


There’s a heck of a lot of things to do on top of the pizza, but if you’re aiming for world class, you have to think about the bottom as well. And that means one thing: rolling your dough on corn flour. Sounds weird, but improves things 100%.


[quote=“Jenner, post:94, topic:881”]
The greatest thing I have ever done in my life is order this man a pizza.
[/quote]She only ordered it, I still had to pay for it. :pizza:

Little Caesars is the pizza you get when you’re thinkin “fuck it, I’m in the mood to just put a bunch of garbage pizza in my body right now”

I’ve never liked Papa John’s tho, the sauce tastes weird and also the owner is a fuckass.

Cici’s is a fucking all you can eat buffet, imagine if old country buffet just served pizza and you won’t be far off.