I Didn't Get To Choose My Friends - Pokemon Platinum Random Team Run

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 12: SPAMIGO GETS GHOSTED

Hearthome Gym! It’s supposed to be pitch black and you can only see what’s illuminated by your flashlight but… that didn’t want to work in DeSmuME.

So I get to just run straight through.

Kinda claustrophobic for a Gym Leader room, isn’t it? Comparatively speaking, I mean.

Fantina does a twirl before she laughs at double text size volume.

Her dress is based on Drifblim and I think Drifblim is cool so I think the dress c’est une good.

Non?

See it’s got the little plus and everything.

Reina uses Focus Energy to boost her crit chance, while Duskull sets up Future Sight.

…Okay? She wasn’t using her Attack anyway!

Reina’s taking a lot of punishment but she just pushed the Duskull below the Potion Threshold, and…

A timely crit basically undoes that Super Potion! But she is at 10 HP.

Which isn’t a lot of HP if you’re a Horsea.

Anomalo tags in and takes out the Duskull.

Which saddens me a bit because as a mecha nerd I’ve always been tickled by Duskull’s Zeon monoeye thing it has going on. If I ever trained a Duskull I’d name it Zaku I. Then Zaku II when it evolves. Dusknoir can be Psycho Zaku.

I love it when free status effects hit my opponent.

I believe some Paralysis rolls helped, but Mina’s also just trading blows pretty well here.

Even through the Super Potion she comes out on top.

And now I’m VERY glad that I got Fantina to burn her Super Potions on not this Mismagius. It’s going to be a challenge to-

Oh look Quick Claw activated. Getting the speed advantage on this witch will make things easier.

That was still predictable though. You did a good job, Mina.

ANOMALO! GRIND THAT SPEED STAT INTO THE DUST! THE DUST!

you’d think that since i look up gym leader teams before the battle (but not during) i’d remember which mons have berries and have Castellia use Bug Bite

you’d be wrong but you could think that all the same

You hit more than enough, Anomalo. I’m sure that in a different RPG system, we’d be taking two turns to each of the Mismagius’ one.

Anyway, since this thing likes its Psybeam so much, we’ll give it a taste of the ol’ Poison/D-

wat

IS THE EMULATOR BUGGING OUT NOW?!

hurry hurry move past it before it realize it broke the type chart

I’m glad I don’t have to clean up the piles of rubble.

Sadly Anomalo’s claws are not shadowy enough to make use of this move. You might call that a flaw but I’ve always thought his tangibility was a beautiful thing.

Thanks Fantina.

I’m still a little jealous of how many cool Ghost Pokemon are on your teams.

I SPECIFICALLY DO NOT THANK YOU, ADVICE GUY.

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 13: Class Aves Is My Nemesis

Leaving Hearthome, we run into…

A note of mercy is that you can just turn around right here and not start the battle. Apparently between developing Platinum and White/Black GameFreak decided that letting the player know a rival battle was coming was “for suckers.”

I think right around when I originally took these screenshots was when Pokemon Masters was released and everyone was sharing that dialog box about how you shouldn’t bully people into battling with you.

This dang bird and it’s Double Team.

It leads with Double Team to boost evasion. If you don’t hit it, I’m quite sure it’ll keep going until it’s maximally evasive. Did you hit it without knocking it out? You just turned on Endeavor, which’ll set your HP to match its HP. It’s also fast so while it’s dodging everything it’s probably also going first, and just in case it ever had to worry about that it also has Quick Attack.

I’ll be quite honest there were several attempts that couldn’t reasonably get past this bird. I got one hit in, but then no others and was left facing a Staravia with 14 HP and max evasion. If I don’t win here early against the bird then I could very easily just be swept by it.

In every random team run it always comes back to the birds.

One of the flaws that makes me an interesting and complex character is that even when the RNG is influenced, mentally I see these failures as do to the RNG rather than my strategy. “It would’ve worked, I just rolled bad,” is my thinking. So I kept using Wilhelmina at the start.

Why, then, did I never try to use Thunder Wave even after exposing Paralysis as one of my favorite things to do?

…

No I was actually asking, I don’t have an answer.

See? Had Mina not connected for the second hit she would’ve taken a Wing Attack and been out. Endeavor bypasses defenses and resistances, so no one would’ve been safe.

This Buziel has learned to float like a Butterfree (metaphorically, it doesn’t have Levitate) and get in with the quick blows.

It does not know how to sting like a Beedrill (metaphorically, Buziel doesn’t have a stinger).

Nnnnnnnnnnnah.

Next, we see Barry’s turtle in its natural habitat.

Raising its physical defense.

This took me by surprise a bit when I was playing, but…

Yeah I’d swap out too if I was never going to damage a high-Defense Bug type.

I just have better options if we’re playing this game at this stage.

Bar-

Barry are you trying?

Now I almost feel bad.

And so the circle is closed, we have returned to where we begun.

Except now that Grotle doesn’t have a boosted Defense.

I have no idea where her biting mouthparts are, but she does, and that’s all that matters.

If it’s any consolation this was my third or fourth try.

“Man Spamigo you’ve really gotten better in a hurry huh?”

“…Well I-”

“I mean it felt like it was like just the other day all you did was keep trying to tackle and I thought you were going to cry when you lost!” Barry spoke a mile a minute, trampling over Spamigo’s growing frustration.

“ I WASN-”

As the door swung closed behind the rapidly departing Barry, Spamigo looked exasperatedly at the wobbly but standing Wilhelmina, eyebrows furrowed. “I wasn’t going to cry, was I?”

…

So question now:
How did Barry beat Fantina? Did the bird get lucky? I don’t think he got there with Ember, Water Gun, and Razor Leaf.

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 14: SUPER PUNCH OUT!

So some things happened before getting to Maylene!

And if I built this Forretress
Around your heart (WOAH-OH)
Encircled you in entrance haz-ards (WOAH-OH)
Then let me tank it all
For I cannot clear the Stealth Rocks (WOAH-OH)
And let me dodge the 4x Flamethrowers

Forretress has nine resistances, one immunity, and only one weakness! And a base Defense of 140! Sure I especially need to keep her away from Special Fire-type attacks but other than that I’m not sure what’s going to hurt her. Bug/Steel cover each others bases pretty well, it turns out.

Sure. She’s more a Physical attacker, but it’s still a STAB move.

Once, she relied on her extremely staticky wool to generate the electricity for her attacks. She could not use the power herself, except to build it up externally and channel the creation from without.

Now the power comes from within her.

Sure? I don’t know why Ampharos gets Thunderpunch and Firepunch considering it’s decidedly more a Special attacker, but I can hit Physical and Special Defense now?

Spamigo wasn’t sure how to make this question less awkward: “Dawn were… you just waiting here the whole time?”

“No. No, no. I’ve been working on the Pokedex,” she said with some emphasis, “I ran into Barry- Well, more like he ran into me on his way out of town, but I was just stopping here to check out the department store. I really wanted to get to the department store and check the bookstore for the next book in this really sweet series that I’m reading.”

“…Oh? What’s it about?”

“It’s really romantic, about this girl who’s going to be a Pokemon researcher and she meets a boy doing the Gym Challenges and I nearly cried reading the part where their paths separate because he doesn’t know how important she really is to him.” She let out a sigh and shook her head slightly. "It’d be nice to have something that romantic happen.” Her voice dropped like she was talking to herself, but not far enough that he couldn’t hear.

This was one of those points where Spamigo really had no idea how to respond except with, “Uh… I hope it does.”

It was hard to tell with her bangs partially hiding her gaze, but her eye might have twitched a bit. “Thanks, but that’s okay. I’m starting to learn not to get my hopes up.”

Presented without comment:

Crasher Wake is my favorite Gym Leader in this game. Yeah Fantina has all the cool Ghost-types but she’s not a triple-threat.

Anyway, Maylene!

I hate this Gym. The puzzle is pushing punching bags around but it locks you in place while the camera follows the bag slooooooowly trundling down the rack. And there was enough time between my clearing the Gym for levels and facing Maylene that I forgot the solution.

At any rate, I’d been thinking some and realized that I only ever show the successful battles in these things. I’d resolved to try to show how many attempts can go into one of these… But then I cleared the Gym on my first try. I guess it just goes to show that sometimes when you finally face your problems, you find out they’re not as big as you thought.

Ah, a Medicham after my own heart.

Now, you might say, “Spammy, I remember when you posted the team approximately one Middle-Earth age ago. Surely your Psychic-type Claydol can sweep this Gym.”

“Very observant,” I might reply, “But Maylene’s Gym is actually well protected against all but the speediest Psychic types.”

Now, this Meditite can’t really do effective damage to Dogu. But Dogu’s Psybeams only hit for neutral damage thanks to Medicham’s Psychic-type…

So this is not really an easily won encounter.

Her Machoke is faster than Dogu, which is especially bad because Dogu does not possess a great deal of Physical Defense. How does Dogu get out of this one?

Sheer dumb luck.

Ha ha ha no, you’re not beating a Lucario.

I finally remember that I love Thunder Wave and use it.

Now, Lucario does take neutral damage from Psychic type attacks. At the time I did this Gym I assumed Steel was immune to Psychic because I always assume that Steel is immune to Psychic because… The Juggernaut and Magneto’s helmets protect them from telepaths.

You heard me.

Lucario also gets Bone Rush, one of Marowak’s Ground-type signature moves, for reasons I didn’t understand in 2007 and don’t understand any better now. I’m guessing the AI never uses it because it’s only looking at one hit and not the average effective power.

Maylene I’m not sure I know what it means to be strong either but using your supereffective attacks seems like a good thing to include.

Getting lucky on Paralysis rolls so far!

…Fine.

Slightly less of one now!

I did not switch out Wilhelmina here. I should have done so, it hadn’t been but a minute since I saw that her Lucario would outspeed Mina all things being equal.

At least it couldn’t recover a lot of HP off of Drain Punch.

Reina closes it out.

“What?” Spamigo thought, “Am I just going to trip over a Fly HM in a warehouse somewhere?”

60 power, 100 accuracy, physical Fighting type attack. No one on this team can learn it. I’d love to give it to Anomalo, but he doesn’t have fists!

Maylene’s Gym is inspirational.

[

“Dawn… were you-”

"NO."

NEXT TIME: LEGITIMATE COIN ACQUISITION!

…In two weeks. I shall be going on a week-and-a-half vacation and won’t be updating the LP on the road, I’m afraid. I’ll see you all then!

[SpammyV]

For the game that I love so much… for the completion of this thread! LP.ZONE! I HAVE RETURNED!

UPDATE 15: The Calm Before the PPV

“I’m warning you! If you don’t give me that Pokedex back you and your stupid hair are going-” There was a tone that Spamigo hadn’t heard from Dawn before. The two Galactic Grunts were standing noticeably out of arm’s reach and doing their best not to glance nervously at one another. One of them was a bit too obvious about looking at Spamigo as he walked closer, cluing in Dawn to turn around before she got too deep into the threats.

“Just the two of them?”

“There were more.”

Man I can’t spice this up any. They’re Galactic Grunts. I love Galactic Grunts, the competition between Galactic Grunts and Skull Grunts comes down to which game I played most recently, but it’s not like they’re a threat.

Highlights include:

Gravity Manipulation!

Power Trick swaps the user’s Attack and Defense stats. Dogu does have more Defense than Attack, but it’s not so extreme I want to swap them.

Now if Castellia could learn Power Trick she could become an incredibly slow glass cannon!

Wait that doesn’t sound good either.

Spoilers: This battle doesn’t last long and the only reason I ever had to switch out Dogu is they sent out something immune to Psybeam.

And right on schedule…

Dawn groaned and dug her forehead into her palm, shaking her head a few times. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just been a stressful day. Blurted that out without thinking. I’m just gonna go now… Good luck, Spamigo.”

Looker turned away, stroked his chin, and furrowed his brow. “The greater mystery it is perhaps why the Policia Internacional would send I, the Looker, known for expertise of interdimensional incidents, to investigate miniscule misdemeanors.”

“Wait what?”

Looker swiveled his gaze to glare at Spamigo while barely moving his head. " You heard nothing. "

Again, Spamigo considered whether he could get enough distance before Looker turned around to not have to deal with the strange man further, but ultimately decided against it.

And someone did just shove a Fly TM into Spamigo’s hands.

What was it that was making it so that Team Galactic kept moving their operations to the next town Spamigo was going to?

So unrelated to that, at approximately this time Spamigo used an AR code got an email from an Unovan prince who needed 200 Pokebux to access his large store of Game Corner coins (all the Game Corners belong to the same worldwide network and use interchangable coins) and would send a large supply to Spamigo in payment and this time it wasn’t a scam!

Now we’re playing with power!

The Wide Lens is +10% base accuracy to all moves. Rock Tomb goes from 80% to 88% and Metal Claw goes from 95% to 100% (Technically 104.5%). He’s not putting the lens down for a while.

Birdon joins the team as Designated Fly Haver and cripes. Defog will save me some time down the road but look at this! The That Bird moveset is practically Staravia’s default level up moves.

I’m starting to realize that between Starly, Shinx, and Ponyta you can be pretty set for your lategame team before you face the first Gym.

Oh no. He’s learning.

So uh… This battle is actually extremely underwhelming.

While all his Pokemon have gotten some levels and a few more powerful moves (sorry Ponyta), it’s still functionally the same team as he had in Hearthome.

Meanwhile I spent thousands of coins on high-power TMs.

Yeah.

It’s okay I looked ahead and I’m already not looking forward to the next battle.

Spamgio called out, “Barry you can’t sing though! You got us kicked out of the karaoke place!”

Congratulations Reina! Now technically at any point now I could AR code in Spamigo could trip over a Dragon Scale and evolve Reina into a Kingdra. Ultimate Pokemon Randomizer has a feature to fix impossible evolutions, which usually means adding an alternate method so that trading is not required. So rather than trade a Seadra holding a Dragon Scale, you just have your Seadra level up while carrying a Dragon Scale.

I’m going to hold off on this for now and evolve her… Somewhere in the 40s 50? Seadra to Kingdra seems like something that should happen between 40 and 45.

And with Reina evolved I think it’s time for a TEAM UPDATE!

Return isn’t the best on Wilhelmina since she’s more Special-slanted, but it’s a non-Electric move until she learns her Special coverage moves.

Dogu has a lot of Special Defense but not as much Physical Defense. Reflect to halve Physical damage in theory makes them a better all-round tank.

On the list of “Things I didn’t know” is that Seviper is actually even with its Physical and Special attack stats and can learn Flamethrower. That’s just going to be something I keep in the back of my mind as we approach the Steel and Ice gyms.

Also my giant murder snakes knocks things out more effectively because I treat it well.

Reina’s growing into having a diverse move list! I probably shouldn’t have replaced Bubblebeam with Brine but if we’re being honest every Water move in that slot is just a placeholder for Surf. Not going to pretend Reina wasn’t always the Designated Surf Haver.

Soon, Anomalo, you’ll be the Attack monster. Buff up with Swords Dance and then start going to town. Interestingly, despite the animation always being someone doing a karate chop, Brick Break does not require hands to use!

Castellia has a lot of Phsyical Defense but not as much Special Defense. Light Screen to halve Special damage in theory makes her a better all-round tank.

I’m… mostly sure I got that right.

Rest is pretty iffy in this list without giving her a Chesto Berry for the immediate wake up. But honestly I wanted to try something new since I only play Pokemon games single-player and have never messed with any tactic beyond “Have a bunch of move types and hold down the attack button.”

NEXT TIME:

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 16: CRASHERMANIA’S RUNNING WILD!

In preparation for this battle, Spamigo had studied the PPV record and realized that when Crasher Wake looks defeated and his opponent tried to remove his mask that just gave Wake the motivation to power up thanks to the energy of the tides and the love of his fans and then no-sell two hits before ending things with the Tsunami Overcrash.

So don’t go for the mask.

In my head, Crasher Wake doesn’t have an indoor voice.

LET’S RUMBLE!

Now, Gyarados can pack a punch so we’ll have to be caref- oh look Quick Claw activated.

It bugs me that Quick Claw only has a very indistinct animation and not a message.

Anyway Quagsire is Water/Ground so we’re not just going to be able to shock it.

At the time I assumed it also had a Ground-type move (it does) in addition to the requisite Water attack so Anomalo, Sid, and Dogu are out. So I thought why not send Castellia in? Bug resists Ground for some reason.

Did you know that Toxic can miss?

Did you know that Castellia seems to take two shots to zero in and land a Toxic?

Funnily enough, I DID remember to give Castellia a Chesto Berry, so this Yawn didn’t stick.

And in doing so discovered how to break this Quagsire’s AI, since it kept reapplying Yawn instead of using Water Pulse.

Now Floatzels are fast and this one has Aqua Jet because it’s not enough to be probably faster than everything else, you need a priority move so th- oh look Quick Claw activated.

Yeah that’s fair you kinda… uh… didn’t actually battle a lot here.

badges

Reina you have just enough time to decide what dipping sauce you want for your HM.

Brine doubles in power if the target is below 50% health which… probably has utility? If it still counted the double-damage if you attack the turn the opponent uses a Potion it definitely would but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way.

That’s something that comes up in a lot of fields. Focusing only on the end result puts you into a more negative headspace, where focusing on the process and enjoyment in the moment lets you play better. Of course I’d expect a Face like Crasher Wake to be all about lifting up friendly challengers.

Yeah yeah Advice Guy, I’m onto you.

And so, energized by the earning of a badge and the kind words of a Gym Leader, Spamigo steps out into the evening air, thinking it sure would be a shame if this evening got interrupted.

But you can already see Barry running in.

Mr. Wake? I thought he had two first names and they were Crasher and Wake.

So does your mask burn when people say your name?

Barry’s voice actor in my mental narration can’t play off calling someone “Master” like Domon Kasshu, sorry.

“You’re good, you don’t need me.”

“I DECIDED I NEED YOU.”

[deus ex reference here]

NEXT TIME: Explosion sounds.

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 17: Chasing the Feeling

Alias The Looker let out a hum as he stroked his chin like people did when they were being thoughtful. “So as you are saying the Team Galactic…”

“Blew up part of the Pastoria Marsh,” Spamigo explained with an exasperation that was lost on his companion.

“How fiendishness. And according to you, then the Crasher Wake…”

“Went to suplex the bomb or something.”

“And so you were to begun the immediate persuit of the admitted wrongdoer and did hound him with dogged determination.”

“Yes, and-”

Spamigo did not let out a sigh the entire length of the time spent catching up to Looker, but it was close.

I’m going to admit that I’m pretty fond of humor like this.

To be fair, if I’d been actually running for this long I would be huffing and puffing and considering the benefits of the void.

Although it seems like he was running less because he wanted to save time and more because someone sent him out with only one Pokemon.

I wonder what the worldwide stats are on Croagunks that Shuddered and ate a Psychic-type move.

Were you dropping Pokeballs to save the weight or something?

So he staggers off extremely slowly. Maybe humming the credits music from the Incredible Hulk show.

And Cynthia shows up, apparently after having watched him walk off.

Unless…

The lake you say…

Spamigo reflexively cut in with “The tourism board put that sign up.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Barry we’ve been friends forever and you think you’ve never met my sister?”

“I dunno man it maybe she’s like your long lost sister who faked her own death in order to protect her family but then you end up meeting anyway and obviously the bad guys are gonna find out first and then it’s like a big thing and-”

“Wait what?”

“Yeah it turns out it was just one of those big noisemakers they use to try to scare birds off with.”

Hope Barry doesn’t trip over the poor Galactic Grunt who’s probably passed out just off screen.

Oh yeah there’s a bunch of Psyduck. Just like mounded up. All of them doing that pose that Psyduck do. It’s like headaches are magnetic and draw them together.

“…Isn’t this a fire extinguisher?”

“It only looks like a fire extinguisher. It’s full of medicine. Just spray it on them.”

“But… They already didn’t find any caves or magic Pokemon in the lakes.”

Well bye Cynthia.

NEXT TIME: What do you mean that guy was important to the plot?

…
Okay for real though ALL I’M SAYING is we never saw Cynthia and that Galactic Grunt on the screen at the same time.

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 18: Ruin My Day.

Welcome back! We’ve got a bit of a longer update today.

Here we see a group of Psyduck in their natural habitat: Misery.

In my mind’s eye I still see spraying them with a fire extinguisher.

And now that the haze of migraine clears from their minds, their BLOODLUST comes roaring back to the forefront!

Or they remembered it’s board game night tonight, who knows.

Cynthia comes walking up like she didn’t just watch Spamigo spend three minutes fiddling with how to get the fire extinguisher to spray.

It’s weird that Psyduck’s most known for its psychic powers and yet it’s never been a Psychic type. Like you see a Charmander and Game Freak is going, “no it’s normal type even with the fire on its tail.”

This looks like trying to find any justification to make Spamigo run this errand for her, but actually there is a pretty uncommon encounter on the next route, so she’s not lying!

… too easy.

And after a little more cajoling she leaves, because even Cynthia doesn’t want to have to deal with…

The Fog Route.

Alright, so I was not taking screenshots of every single thing that happened while playing during the route, and at the end of it, I was kicking myself, as it turned out to be a pretty good dsiplay of the challenges of the Random Team Run. Granted, I had both Birdon and Scarfy in my team, neither of which I want to let into battle, because I overestimated the amount of HM usage I’d need. Perhaps it was a self-fulfilling prophecy that by bringing Birdon along to Fly back home and heal up, I guaranteed I would have to use Fly because I was down a battler. But regardless:

There’s stretch of Route 210 that’s clogged with Ace Trainers and a few Veterans, who were constant pains in my side. It turns out with an easily exploitable type weakness that I can see coming, balanced teams can just be a problem! Shoutouts to the Ace Trainer pair with a Gyarados and a Raichu. Mina declined to trivialize THAT fight with Quick Claw.

Game Freak usually does a pretty decent job making sure that whatever is coming up, the player has seen Pokemon that can overcome it. Even going back to Roark, you could possibly have had a Roselia and definitely a Machop. And here I am, thumbing my nose at all of that and saying that I need six Pokemon and six Pokemon alone to get through the game. And while Pokemon games usually aren’t objectively hard, sometimes doing this you run into the one Trainer that you have no good answers for that is an absolute nightmare.

But at any rate, here’s Spamigo in a tiny town full of bossy old people.

Here’s Spamigo shocked into silence that someone would ask where he’s from.

Spamigo bit his tongue just this once that the legend of the lake Pokemon was just a legend.

Din, Naryu, and Faore; got it.

Spamigo thought about saying it was just a noisemaker, but decided against it.

The old lady turned back to glare at the spaceman, but with nothing happening her mood worsened. She cleared her throat loudly, and started to repeat herself with greater emphasis: “If only I were YOUNGER, and had my POKEMON…”

At that point Spamigo rushed in.

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeahno gonna have to ask that you maybe don’t.

Pictured in this battle: Anomalo coming into his own.

Step 1: Double his Attack.

Step 2: attack.

The little shrimp that could!

All are forced to admit how powerful Anomalo is!

Now let’s swap NPCs.

And just like that she doesn’t seem to remember trying to guilt-trip Spamigo into fighting.

A whole bunch of text boxes about how yes, the person Cynthia said was her grandmother is in fact her grandmother and the Old Charm is special and you should go see inside the ruins.

So let’s!

Wonder who made this. As in, in-universe.

Oh right Gen IV added this wonderful nugget the fanon.

Who would interrupt a history lesson?

Wait the guy I’ve been saying isn’t a part of the plot? What are you doing here making me a liar?

There’s not a whole lot to say when people start trying to talk about the cosmic balance and the need to destroy the world to remake it. One of those conversations that you want to keep away from.

And yet Spamigo feels himself compelled to step in and stop someone threatening the town and its history.

So there’s some weird interactions in the type chart that I’ll remember, and some that I just never committed.

I spend turns trying to get this Sneasel to eat a Toxic because I don’t remember that Bug is supereffective against Dark!

There was no reason to let it Ice Punch as much!

Friggin’ ow. And if it does that much to Sid I’m afraid about sending anyone else into a Drill Peck, so…

Sorry Sid.

Let’s just do the right thing this time.

Nuh-uh game you already taught me that lesson about trying to be cute. I’m staying the course in the face of this Golbat.

And I’m rewarded for it!

And on that cryptic note Cyrus skulks away. Of course we’re not telling the InterPol agent investigating Team Galactic that their leader was threatening to unmake reality.

“Leave a room for that ungrateful girl for FIVE YEARS but does she come home to visit her poor grandmother? Of course the life of a big shot means she has to sacrifice time with her family.”

“So then this…”

“If you’re not happy I’ll let you go through the rest before I donate it to the resale store.”

YES!

Oh we have a detour to make now.

Excuse me Cynthia there’s a TM I need to find.

“Harmless…?”

Cynthia shrugged. “Well, some theft here and there. But they’re barely more competent than deliquents. And the whole passing off a noisemaker as a bomb thing, you know? I just sort of assumed they were crazy and morons.”

“And now?”

“Well they might not all be morons and that’s worrying.”

Right, go to the town with the next Gym.

Alright are people done talking to me? GOOD.

Join me next time as we make a very very critically important no we cannot skip this detour before we go to Canalave City!

NEXT TIME: I’ve been planning this since I rolled my team.

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 19: The Abridge Version

Hello! Last time, we learned that we needed to be going to Canalave City.

We are not going to Canalave City. Route 219 comes south off of Sandgem town, the second town in the game. Where Roark’s lab is. We didn’t stop in to say hi.

And yet we still must go further southward!

Ostensibly, the only reason that you would come this way is Pal Park. In ye olden times on ye DS or DS Lite (DSi owners can get bent), ye could pop ye GBA cart into the console and do a one-way transfer from ye Gen III game into ye Gen IV game. This was how you were meant to Catch 'Em All. Naturally, the Pal Park opens up in the postgame. It does nothing for me now. Or perhaps at all since this playthrough is emulated.

Even if DeSmuME had the functionality to do so, I’m still not. For what purpose? Teams Don’t Call Me Lance and Invasive Species have more than earned their rest in the hall of fame.

But since it’s a post-game only feature, you might very well think this whole route is blocked off and only accessible in the postgame. You might very well be wrong, but you could think that all the same.

When I was first looking over the level-up moves of my team and starting to lament how dire some of them were, I looked to the TMs and what was available, and thought for certain this would be blocked off. But it’s not. And so it is Very Important that we get it.

X-Scissor. Or Scissor Cross if you want to get literal with the translation. 80 Power, 100% Accuracy, Physical Bug attack. You know when Anomalo would be learning this? Level 73 .

No, I’m not kidding.

We’ve got most of the game between now and then!

Who else is even going to take this? Sid’s the only one who even can use this TM and he’s already got more good moves than he has move slots.

No, this is getting served hot and fresh to Anomalo with a side of buttermilk ranch dipping sauce and I’m not looking back. The only reason that I might not slam it into the first slot and hold down the A button is if I ever so faintly consider putting Swords Dance under there instead. And yet in the end Anomalo might just have so much Attack he doesn’t need the buff that much.

I know where the Rock Slide TM is and as soon as we’re on the way there I’m picking that up and bumping out Rock Tomb without a moment’s hesitation.

Now those among you with a long memory might be about to bring up the 100 Power, 100% Accuracy Physical Ground-type attack in the room: Earthquake. Platinum actually makes Earthquake available pretty early, but that specific move I have avoided just because I was unsure of how to apply it.

Anomalo certainly would be able to put the damage to the best use, but obviously isn’t getting STAB out of it. Dogu has a lot of good options, but he doesn’t learn the 90 Power, 100% Accuracy, Special Earth Power until 62. I might not reach 62 before the Elite 4, though I might grind up to there to fight them. Is letting Dogu try to get by on Psychic and some other coverage for so long and neglecting giving him a Ground STAB worth it? That’s what I just don’t know.

I still have some time before I fight the Steel-type Gym, so I can still kick the can down the road. I am curious about what you all think though: 70 Base Attack + STAB worth it compared to 125 Base Attack? Does Anomalo just have so many good moves available through TMs it’s better to let Dogu have it?

But now that we have X-Scissor Cross, we can continue on our merry way and meet a scientist on the way.

The confusion must’ve been visible on Spamigo’s face, because the scientist didn’t wait for the question. “I’m Dawn’s father, I work with Professor Rowan.”

“Oh…” Spamigo nodded in just enough understanding. “How’s she doing?”

He shrugged, “Well she was annoyed about something last time she came by. Did something happen? Oh, Rowan asked me to upgrade your Pokedex. May I?”

Spamigo handed the device over and the scientist started to fiddle with the options as Spamigo explained. “No, nothing I can think of. I mean there was a something with Galactic, but other than that we haven’t seen each other that much.”

That answer was met with a few nods as the scientist finished pushing buttons, put something into the expansion slot, and slammed it in by bashing it against his knee. It made a real meaty KER-CHUNK sound but then the Pokedex was booting up and beeping normally.

“They tried to steal Dawn’s Pokedex, right? Between that and trying to steal his research in Jubilife, the Professor’s starting to be concerned. Can I ask you to keep an eye on Teal Galactic? Just let the Professor know if you see anything, there’s no reason for you to get involved.”

“Right…” At this point it seemed to Spamigo like he couldn’t not be involved, but he didn’t want to tell Dawn’s father that.

Ahem.

Also, on the way to Canalave!

Dogu evolves!

Dogu wants to learn WHAT?!

You know what fine, I’ll accept the mental image of Dogu blasting Hyper Beams out of his eyes in all directions like some kind of alien invader.

After all of that, now we’re in Canalave, the city with the canal. I don’t know about its population of aves. Clearly it can’t be too high because it’s my lot in life to be opposed by birds.

Well this bascule bridge looks like a pretty good place for some form of dramatic encounter.

Oh there we go. Hope no boats need to pass through for the next little bit.

Alright while I had my skepticisms about how Barry might have dealt with Fantina or Maylene, I could actually see his present team dealing with Byron’s team.

That Bird is all grown up! And actually it’s grown out of the That Bird gimmick, now it’s just morphing into a Staraptor that’ll just peck your face off at a moment’s noti- oh look Quick Claw activated.

I love it when Mina decides to just Thunder Break an enemy out of the picture.

what

I looked, it knows Stomp and Take Down. I don’t know why it went for Tail Whip of all things.

Let’s just… move on.

Full disclosure: After losing Babby’s First Rival Battle I was reeling, wondering if I should even keep the footage and the team, especially in despair because Grass resists Electric even before Torterra goes fully immune. Eventually, without consulting Bulbapedia, I calmed myself down by telling my self that “Seadra/Kingra look like they should learn Ice Beam so they probably do.”

I just didn’t expect it to do so much.

Oh yeah Barry has a Heracross now and it is PISSED.

castellia PLEA

069

Jeeze did they change its ability so it crits more if an ally’s fainted?

Alright, so the Toxic was going to get rid of Heracross no matter what, so I bet on Anomalo being able to take a hit but double his attack.

Now, Anorith is in that category of Pokemon where it’s not a speedy Pokemon but it’s speedier than you expect and every now and then it gets the initiative in a battle where you wouldn’t expect it.

Why did I expect it to do so against one of the speedier Water-types?

I don’t have to testify when it may be incriminating.

Maybe I’ll use pattern recognition one day and stop trying to be cute… or I’ll forget all the life lessons I’ve learned between now and then.

Is it me?

Aww.

Clearly even though Iron Island does not have any Heracrosses it’ll provide valuable insight into Barry’s prowess and allow us to overcome him in our next encounter.

NEXT TIME: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ONLY BROUGHT ONE POKEMON!?

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 20: Riley Isn’t Invited To My Birthday Party

Oh! I didn’t see you come in. Actually that’s a lie, my network of 4k cameras and occupancy sensors doesn’t miss anything . But let’s keep rolling.

Welcome to scenic Iron Island. A tiny speck of rock in the (presumably cold (because Sinnoh’s deal is it’s Cold and Ancient)) ocean that somehow has a mine on it.

Anyone ever find a seed in Minecraft that starts on an island? I’m not ruling it out.

And as we ascend up the stairs, someone in a stylish hat is there!

Careful, I just heard the fourth wall creaking.

And now, if I so chose I could just turn around and walk away since there’s nothing really in the caves for me except free experience.

But it’s for me, and it’s free.

I bet it smells lovely down here. I’m sure the slowly rusting barrels add a wonderful layer to the aroma.

The usual partnering rules apply: All wild Pokemon battles and most trainer battles are going to be doubles, and you’ll get a free full heal after each battle.

Riley uses a Lucario because it’s not enough that it’s the ace of a Gym Leader, Gamefreak wanted to make sure that you saw the Pushed Mascot Pokemon.

“Didn’t you say you came here to train?”

Riley’s smile turned fixed as he slowly nodded. “I… haven’t had a lot to do lately.”

And yet all the barrels got left behind. They’re red barrels in a video game, so are they explosive? I don’t think Pokemon has confirmed that all red barrels are explosive. If they’re not full of explosion, what do you think is inside them?

“Oh no Roark specializes in Rock types.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Spamigo had a look of deep concentration on his face for a few moments as he mulled over what Riley said. Hesitantly, he ask, “But wouldn’t Lucario be a good pick to fight a Steel-type because it’s Fighting-type?”

Riley stopped. “I meant metaphorically.”

While slogging through the endless random battles, this happened:

At level 37 Anomalo was set to learn his first Bug-type move. And it’s Fury Cutter . This is why that detour to get X-Scissor was so important.

Alright, so I started a battle with two Ace Trainers, who send out this Staraptor/Medicham team. I don’t screenshot their dialog, or the first turn, but here’s what happened: Medicham and Staraptor dog-piled Riley’s Lucario and knocked it out almost immediately. It turns out Lucario really doesn’t like taking a High Jump Kick to the chin.

After withdrawing his fainted Lucario, Riley stepped back and crossed his arms over his chest, not seemed to notice Spamigo’s worried expression. “Aren’t… Don’t you have another Pokemon?”

“I find it’s more effective to train with one Pokemon at a-”

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN’T BRING ANOTHER POKEMON?!"

Now I’m panicking! In between the screaming internally and the shaking my fist at Riley and telling him he’s never allowed to partner up with me again, I remember that I do have a spread move I can try to cheese things with.

Extremely luckily for me Reina did not eat a Hi Jump Kick+Close Combat turn and get wombo combo’d out of existence.

Thankfully the challenge was front-loaded in this Randomly Difficult Trainer Battle.

And that’s why Riley isn’t invited to my birthday party.

Ah yes, Galactic Grunts! Probably the source of these troubles. We’ll just-

ahem

We’ll just deal with them now.

I’d take you more seriously if you didn’t just almost lose me the last battle, Riley.

In contrast this isn’t even worth showing. Anomalo uses Swords Dance and then it and Lucario go to town, stop for lunch, do some leisurely shopping, and make their way back home.

The Grunts run away after losing, like Grunts do.

I think I went home to deposit someone and pick up this Egg. It’s a Riolu egg. Technically speaking there’s nothing in the rules that say I couldn’t hatch it and the Togepi egg to keep them around for moral support.

If you have a good nickname for a Riolu and/or Togepi to be our mascot/tagalong kid share it in the thread!

I do take care on the way out, but I stand by what I said before about the invitation. The real reason I take care on the way out is that Anomalo is very close to level 40, which means he’s very close to…

Evolving!

I’ve always been a little torn on Armaldo’s design. On the one hand, something about the proportions (namely the big trunk and stumpy straight legs) scream classic Godzilla movie to me, and I like that.

On the other hand, Anorith hews very closely to the design of Anomalocaris and hearkens back to the oddities of form in the Cambrian era, a period which has always fascinated me. Losing the compound eyes and radial mouth and making it more conventional both adds something to the design and takes something away for me.

But you know what I don’t feel torn about?

These stat gains!

He’s lost 20 Speed, so the era of Anomalo randomly being faster than some Pokemon is likely over. But at minimum he’s gained 25 points everywhere, with a whopping 42 added to his Defense. This is the point where I’d say that Anomalo has truly come into his own and man am I glad for it.

NEXT TIME: Uncharted waters.

This is actually a very special update! Like I mentioned into the OP, I was originally posting this on another forum that has since been sadly closed. Up until now it’s been all my old material and screenshots. But this update covers the last time that I played before putting this on hiatus as I didn’t have a place to post.

Going forward it’ll be all new material. I’m excited for you to join me! Who knows what will happen?! I mean, it’ll be Pokemon Platinum. I’m not dropping this thread to start LPing Magical Starsign or Infinite Space, be as they may DS JRPGs I remember fondly. But I have no more advance knowledge of how things will go than you do.

Also, if you have any suggestions to make, NOW! IS! THE! TIME!

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 21: THE RIDDLE OF STEEL

Welcome back my dear reader(s)! Since we are now moving into uncharted territory and we’ve had a few evolutions, I thought we should start this off with a T E A M U P D A T E!

DASH! DASH! dan dan dadan
DASH! DASH! dan dan dadan
DASH! DASH! dan dan dadan
SCRAMBLE! DASH!

because that’s how the Great Mazinger them starts
and it’s big move is the Thunder Break
and that’s what i’ve been calling mina using thunderbolt

DON’T MAKE FUN OF ME OR SO HELP ME I’LL TAKE HER TO THE MOVE RELEARNER TO GIVE HER FIRE PUNCH AND SPEND THE REST OF THIS LP YELLING DRILL PRESSURE PUNCH!

Anyway whatever Mina Thunder Breaks oughta be left hurting, and she’s got Thunder Wave for utility now. Since she’s fully evolved she’ll start coming into some spread moves too.

Claydol’s actually got balanced base Attack and Special Attack, although you’d never know it from the massively special slanted movelist it has.

Dogu leans into the Special side of things, and having some kind of ancient astronaut idol blasting beams out of its helmet suits me just fine.

Reina’s got Surf in the first move slot and that’s all she needs. Kingdra doesn’t have particularly great Dragon moves by level-up, but we’ll get around that (she can get Draco Meteor if we’re desperate). She packs a potent Ice Beam as well.

Seviper’s actually got balanced base Attack and Special Attack, although you’d never know it from the massively physically slanted movelist it has.

Now that we’ve pulled away from the early game where stats are not very differentiated, Sid’s lack of defenses is coming back to haunt him. If I have any speed boosting medicines I should give them to him along with the Quick Claw. If he does get that attack in, though, a good Return or (eventually) Poison Jab should put a hurting on something.

Castellia gets to sit in front of physical attackers and wait them out, since she’s got few weaknesses and a lot of resistances. With Sturdy she’s guaranteed to set up a Light Screen, and would be guaranteed to apply Toxic if she didn’t always seem to take one or two turns to zero it in. If she’s not getting Chesto Berries I might pass her the lens so she could hit Toxic on the first try.

Anomalo is here to crush whatever gets in his way. If he needs it, he’s got 220 attack and a bevy of good moves to put it to use. His vulnerability to some special types is a little rough to deal with, but he can just claw through enemies like the jaws of life vs. a flimsy car exterior, so I’m not that worried.

At any rate, it’s time to fight Shaq. I apologize for the images being slightly different in size, I had to change my process slightly (but I did learn how to make my Switch Pro Controller work with deSmuME so if you’d like to learn, let me know).

Or if he has a steel body does that make him Metallo?

Canalave Gym could nominally be called a maze, but really much like Pastoria Gym it’s a maze you solve be walking forwards. There really aren’t that many dead ends or loops.

I enjoy the implication that Spamigo just walks up to a Gym leader and yanks out the badge case to show off the goods.

He doesn’t have a sledgehammer I am immeasurably disappointed.

Byron’s team is somewhat geared to take advantage of Metal Sound lowering Special Defense, and he’s got multiple Flash Cannon Pokemon.

But he didn’t really do much to stop Dogu from melting his Magneton’s three brains.

I forget that this Steelix has Ice Fang and Reflect probably wouldn’t save Dogu.

But this Steelix forgets that it has Ice Fang too. But Dogu was low enough that trading blows didn’t work out.

But Reina’s more than enough!

I’ll be honest with you, in my head Steel resists Water, and not the other way around. Also in my head Steel is weak to Electric, but I actually managed to remember that here. So I thought I was just going to hit the Bastiodon in its comparatively softer Special Defense, not drain most of it with a single Surf.

At least he didn’t give up!

STRENGTH PUZZLE TIME YEAH!

Reina can actually learn this, and I’m kind of considering it. It would give her something that can blast Ice pretty hard after she evolves.

Feel like I should be telling this to my nephew if/when he ever gets into Pokemon.

“So why did they abandon the Iron Island mine?”

“Gravelers love to Selfdestruct there.”

Yeah yeah, you have to say that to everyone who gets this Badge.

It’d be real awkward if we’d washed out of beating Byron and were slinking out doing the walk of shame back to the Pokemon Center to heal up.

Hmm, that explains the distinctly plot-like rumble I’ve been hearing as I walk past the Library.

NEXT TIME: books zand papers

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 22: It’s Not A Lake Any More

Previously in the investigation…

We beat Byron and then Barry wanted to talk to us at the library. I’m surprised Barry knows what a library is, he seems like the kind of person who listens to audibooks but at 2x speed because he’s in a hurry all the time.

I slooooowly moseyed down to the Pokecenter to heal up just to spite him.

“Or at least quieter than your friend.”

And then Rowan glares at Barry for three whole text boxes until Barry decides to stay.

“Well!” Rowan began to speak and began to pace beside the table, hands clasped behind his back like an instructor. “Now that everyone has decided to listen. You two may have run out on your adventure too quickly to remember this, but I specialize in the study of Pokemon evolution. Yet, for all that I have learned, I still have more questions than answers. What separates Pokemon that evolve from Pokemon that do not? Is it a process of simple maturity? Then what do we make of Pokemon which do not evolve, such as the Legendary Pokemon? Are they complete, perfect beings?”

Spamigo raised his hand: “So… since Sid hasn’t evolved yet does that mean he’s perfect?”

That only threw Rowan off his lecture for a moment. “You could draw that conclusion I suppose. But it is the Legendary Pokemon that I have asked you here for. The three lakes of Sinnoh are each said to contain a Mirage Pokemon.”

Spamigo had just opened his mouth to disagree, but the combination of Dawn’s glare and Barry’s elbow in the ribs kept him quiet.

Rowan chose not to notice at all and continue: “Any data on the Mirage Pokemon that you three could gather in your Pokedex would be of great help to my research.”

“Hey wait I didn’t get a Pokedex!” Barry blurted out faster than Spamigo could jab him with an elbow.

Rowan’s mustache twitched in a halfway threatening manner. “And just who was it that bolted from my lab saying something about how they would 'catch ‘em all’ before I could give them a Pokedex? But that is all water under the bridge. There are three lakes, three Mirage Pokemon, and three assistants. Dawn, if you would, please go to Lake Verity. Barry, you go to Lake Acuity, in the north.”

“YOU BET!” Barry boasted. “I was totally gonna catch all the lake Pokemon shuddup Spamigo for you as a thank-you for giving us our Pokemon I just… put it off a bit because I wanted to get tougher first!”

“I see,” came Rowan’s harrumph. “Well, I’m counting on you. Spamigo, that should leave you with Lake Valor, between Veilstone and Past-”

The only thing that was able to actually break the Professor’s unflappable calmness was the sudden, violent, yet short earthquake that rocked through the library in a matter of seconds.

When the ground decided to be still again, Rowan set to making sure his assistants were unharmed, while Barry started frantically mashing buttons on the TV behind them until he stumbled onto a news channel.

Is Platinum the most self-aware Pokemon game? It seems like it.

“GrampsIgotarealbadfeelingaboutthisI’mgonnagocheckoutlakeAcuityandmakesurenothingbadhappenstheretooBYE!” The only thing faster than Barry’s speech was his pace in racing out of town.

“He really can’t sit still, can he?” Rowan turned to Spamigo with his moustache set at a stern angle. “Spamigo if you would, please hurry to Lake Valor. After an explosion like that, I can’t believe everything would be unharmed. But do not get in over your head, do you understand me? Dawn and I will join you after we finish at Lake Verity.”

Spamigo nodded and turned to leave town, only stopped by Dawn getting his attention: “Spamigo, you just… stay safe, okay?”

And for some reason it was Dawn’s request that made him feel guilty that he was almost certainly going to be fighting Team Galactic at the lake.

A quick stop to get Birdon out, Fly, and immediately put Birdon away and here are at scenic Lake Valor.

Which is kind of missing the lake right now. I’m not a geologist, but- Oh wait I do have a geology focus in my degree. Yeah you need water for a lake.

Those fiends!

…I should’ve gone to see if they let you do the lakes in either order or if they have some railroading barricade at Verity.

That’s… one of the weaker threats I’ve heard in my life.

Although this Galactic Grunt treated the Magikarp with scorn, there was one with a hint of bravery in its blank stare and determination in it’s weak flops. He took it with him, and as he cared for the Magikarp, he slowly grew to be inspired how it always drove itself to jump higher and higher with each flop. He encouraged it, trained it, and one day after Team Galactic had long since been disbanded, he would form the first Magikarp Jump League to serve as a home for all who found friendship in the mighty leaps of the humble Magikarp.

Anyway there’s a cave now revealed with a Galactic Commander inside.

He’s got a unique sprite I’m just assuming that’s an Commander.

The mystery man’s voice was so laden with scorn it was dripping. “So you’re the one who gave Jupiter and Mars such trouble. Hah! Those two only barely complete their missions with how much time they spend arguing with each other. But there’s a reason the boss entrusted this lake to me, Saturn, Team Galactic’s strongest Commander!”

Sid and this Golbat trade blows, but his Returns pack more of a punch than the Golbat’s Air Cutters, so it passes out first.

The text box auto-scrolled before I could capture it, but this Toxicroak pops out and its Anticipation kicks in. You know what hypothetical global counter I proposed for how many Croagunks and Toxicroaks shuddered and immediately ate a Supereffective OHKO?

Add one more to it.

While Steel still isn’t weak to Electric like the type chart in my head goes, this Bronzor does not like Thunder Break.

As I was writing this update I just noticed the “Player” inclusion. What did I do that you don’t want to use my name?

The classic video game villain strategy of executing your evil plan faster than the heroes can put a stop it it.

Oh wait the Professor and Dawn are probably in danger aren’t they.

NEXT TIME: A Daring Rescue!

[SpammyV]

Update 23: The Daring Rescue!

Where last we left off, Professor Rowan and Dawn were presumably in danger because of Team Galactic, and it would look bad on our track record as academic assistants if anything happened to them.

For some reason this game doesn’t apply lighting effects to the player sprite until a second or two after the Fly animation apparently ends. I am not sure why.

I am also not sure why I Flew into Twinleaf because I then had to run to Sandgem to get to a PC and deposit Birdon to make sure I didn’t break any of my own rules.

But let’s get to the rescuing!

Is Spamigo a bad enough dude to save President Dawnie?

There’s a few unimpressive grunts between us and the unselected player character avatar in distress.

My friend just make sure that you’re saying that to recognize your own objectives and focus on them, not just to save your ego. The latter path is not a growth mindset.

We’re just ignoring the possibility of the lake Pokemon being real, as that would be too damaging to Spamigo’s worldview to process right now and we don’t need the distraction.

You know what Dawn? Fair.

You know, since we’re getting this Commander fights back-to-back, go ahead and queue up GET THEM again!

Missing is not something you want to do when Mina’s electric heart is filled with the spirit of justice.

Neither is buffing the stat that she’s not hitting anyway.

Now this… this is a familiar matchup. This takes me back.

okay i didn’t need to go back that far

I don’t remember exactly when Sleep starts counting, but I left Mina in on the gamble it would be a short Sleep.

It wasn’t but once again this Purugly’s reliance on its beefy contact moves proves its undoing and opens the door for karma to ruin it.

Because for one, it cannot scratch Castellia’s impregnable shell.

For two, Castellia just ate the Berry it was saving for a rainy day well before there was even a cloud in the sky.

For three, it failed every single Paralysis roll and never got to act again.

“Mars Mars MARS Mars what are you doing?” The Commander muttered to herself, hiding her face behind her hand. “The Windworks and here? This shouldn’t be happening to a Galactic Commander none of this matters!” Her change of tone was just as sudden as gesture she made to the grunts to tell them to move out. “We already captured the Pokemon of the lake and sent it to the Veilstone HQ!”

I love it when villains tell you exactly what they did.

So I’m thinking… Azelf is Farore, Mespirit is Din, and Uxie is Nayru. I should finish the Oracle games some day…

Anyway her job done Mars leaves.

“I mean… this is like the fifth? Sixth time?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Jubilife, Windworks, Eternia, Pastoria, Lake Valor, just now…”

I would hope that Barry got there before Team Galactic. Even going to a completely new town shouldn’t take him long.

I’m sure it won’t take long. How far away is Lake Acuity?

…ah.

Well we just got Strength and the plot’s off in that direction, so there’s probably a Strength boulder between us and there. Scarfy can’t learn Strength so…

Say hello to Jammerjab! Once a devotee to the resurrection of a dark god, the power of friendship a contractor gig has changed his ways!

The jaunt through Mt. Coronet was not nearly as long as I remembered, but I suppose I was maybe confusing it with the next long trek through the mountain. Either way we start walking down the blizzardy slopes.

Thankfully they put a rest stop halfway to Snowpoint. Although really, I had a decently fast Pokemon up front (Reina) and it wasn’t particularly hard not to get worn down by random battles in Hail. Nowhere near as bothersome as a cave dungeon.

Even with a coat and scarf, Spamigo was still shivering since the one thing he hadn’t planned for was being up to his knees in the snow. “A-aren’t you-”

And there goes Maylene. I’m sure she could punch out the cold with her fighting spirit, I’m not that worried.

The odd random trainer battle is included because MAYBE it’s just recency bias or MAYBE I’m just crazy but it seems like there are an awful lot of Trainers on the route trying to hit you with Burn or Poison. Which is kind of a jerk move in constant Hail!

Oh, and Mina learned Signal Beam. Grass resists Electric, you say? We need more good answers to Psychic or Dark types, you say? Don’t care Mina’s unlocking the limiter on her Photon Power engine.

I… forgot this was here completely. I’m glad I didn’t! In the cabin there is a Hiker who dropped their HM08. If you’re honest he gives you the Icicle Plate. I mean I won’t turn down a gift and it’s a nice looking plate and all, but it’s just too fancy for my everyday use, y’know? And I don’t have enough fancy dinners to justify having good china on hand to break out. It’s just gonna gather dust in the closet at this point.

I suppose that’s one benefit of the Random Team Run, I don’t have to worry about seeing or capturing everything so I don’t need to stick around these routes longer than necessary.

So we can make it to Acuity Lakefront without being ground into the snow. As we get close to the lake…

This is just a silly bit of pacing: Barry’s going to be puttering around the lakefront until Galactic arrives, or be battling them while I go battle the Gym, get the badge, and finally get to the lake.

Maylene did not freeze to death in the snow, she’s just waiting to warm up before training with Candice so Candice can figure out how to beat Fighting types. Which I mean, fair. In my Emerald run, my Heracross and Hariyama just tore through the Ice-type Elite 4 like a bull through a china shop.

Snowpoint’s always messed with my head. With isometric games like this, a lot of them put higher elevations towards the top of the screen, because it’s easier to show going up that way. So at some point, my brain just registered going north as going uphill. But what’s actually happening when you leave Mt. Coronet is you’re going down the slopes towards sea level, which is right here in Snowpoint. But my brain thought going north is going up, but then there’s the sea, and the sea can’t change altitude!

Anyway, next time I hope grinding up and getting the Badge don’t take so long that Barry gets his clock cleaned by Team Galactic.

NEXT TIME: Ice To Snow You Better

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 24: The cold never bothered me anyway.
…
Because Ice has some critical weaknesses.

What are you doing? It’s cold out there. Come on in and start reading.

Spent most of my grinding time right outside of Snowpoint. Elected not to have Sid learn Haze since that’s kind of counter-intuitive to our plans.

Sure, the Hail is kind of an issue. But most of the wild Pokemon being 8-9 levels below my team turned into a blessing. If my team wasn’t one-shotting them they were doing huge chunks of damage, so passing the Shell Bell around allowed me to keep everyone topped off and mostly negate the effects of Hail.

It’s not only an ice tile maze, you also have to slide down the ramps to bust through the snowballs and clear the path to Candice. This is the first Gym I would actually say has a “puzzle” and isn’t just solved by walking forward.

We… didn’t bring any Fire attacks. Fire types are mildly a trap here. You know what’s not a trap here?

Anomalo. He’s neutral against most everything Candice’s Pokemon have, and his attacks actually line up quite well against what she has. I may never remember that Steel isn’t weak against Electric, but I will always remember that Rock beats Ice. What doesn’t want to eat a Rock Slide is vulnerable to X-Scissor, too.

And just think: His moveset would be so much worse if I hadn’t broken out the TMs.

You think multiple TMs get served with the same dipping sauce or multiple ones? I mean maybe you want the ranch for a Fire TM but do you think you’d want the cream gravy for a Normal TM?

While you ponder that, here’s Candice.

What will Anomalo do?

Knock this Sneasel out since it made the mistake of being 4x weak to Fighting.

This Piloswine takes two hits. It’s speed doesn’t actually matter here, Avalanche is a lower priority move.

Big ol’ coniferous tree monster. But is being Grass-type a good thing around Anomalo?

Oof, looks like it felt that one!

And they’re both in the red! But we just saw Anomalo has the speed edge, so just need to-

…I don’t like you any more.

You probably don’t want that Grass type around Sid either!

The Quick Claw I have on Sid kicks in and guarantees him the damage to take the Abomasnow out.

Frosslass is a cool (heh) Ghost type that I’ve always wanted to use but never got around to. Up there with Mismagius.

I thought I’d get lucky and this would be one of the times that Double Team does nothing but waste a turn. It was not.

But the Quick Claw kicks in again and Sid doesn’t even miss! But it wasn’t enough. It was a lot, but a lot isn’t enough.

You did good regardless, Sid.

I’m annoyed at this Froslass, but we can have some fun putting the screws to it. Stick it with Toxic to have be constantly ticking down.

Set up Light Screen to make it deal almost no damage.

Unless you have more Full Restores in the tank, I don’t think so.

This battle goes how Castellia wants every battle to go, with the enemy rebuffed by her fortified walls which were said by contemporary chroniclers to be so wide at the top that two chariots could pass by each other and neither was in danger of collision or falling off.

Until they are so weakened by the siege that a simple sally forth battle takes them out. It works in Total War too!

Focus, will, unusual Pokemon selections, and hunkering down behind an invincible bagworm.

Right! Helping our best friend fight Team Galactic. Boy I hope we’re not too late.

60 power, 100% accuracy, lower priority, doubles damage if the user is hit. Nobody on this team can learn it! Which is especially surprising since the list of Pokemon that can learn Avalanche includes Aggron and Rhydon. You’re telling me you can’t picture Anomalo on a snowboard racing down a mountain slope just in front of an avalanche?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmnah.

Well you know what I’m worried about Barry, so let’s keep this update going a little longer.

Jammerjab skills up with Rock Climb. I probably could’ve given Scarfy Rock Climb to save Waterfall for Jammerjab but I don’t think a trip to the move deleter will break the schedule.

So do you think he digs his teeth into the rock face, or…?

Oh good the climactic battle hasn’t started yet maybe we can have a partner bat-

…oh. Maybe. Maybe we shouldn’t have ground those last few levels.

Are… we not battling?

So to be clear: At every lake we were too late and Team Galactic Pokemonapped the lake Pokemon (that doesn’t exist).

We could be a better hero.

“I… thought I was going to the the best trainer. I won the first time and got through all the Gyms… I thought I was going to save Uxie. It was hurting so I ran in to fight Galactic, but… I wasn’t strong enough.” Barry let out his words with a sigh, and Spamigo didn’t try to cut him off, just placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. It was rare that Barry didn’t rush through his sentences.

“I need to try harder. But not just try harder. I’m going to do it right. For my team too. I’m gonna beat Team Galactic and win against you again, Spamigo!,” Barry picked himself up and finally pulled his gaze away from his shoes, rushing off at the pace of a normal person, which would otherwise be glacially slow for him.

So…

Daring Rescue, Part 2?

…

…

Sing because you want to, Idol Grace. Sing so at the end of the day you’re proud of what you sang.

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 25: Spamigo, This Is A Sneaking Mission, Get In Lots Of Pokemon Battles.

Last time, we were going to do a daring rescue of the Lake Pokemon that I guess have to admit exist now, but the FIENDS of Team Galactic locked their doors! But no fear, Looker has the door to their warehouse! Why does Looker have the key to their warehouse?

Look the Polizia Internazionale has their methods.

“You are needing to prepare?”

“Mostly I’m surprised you found something.”

Quick Item rundown: Anomalo’s got the Wide Lens still to make his Rock Tombs basically 100% accurate. Mina’s got the Quick Claw back. Dogu has the Mind Plate because extra damage on his Psychics is just gravy. Sid has the Shell Bell now so if I can’t stop him from taking lumps, I can at least let him heal up each time he dishes out a lump. Reina and Castellia don’t have anything because I can’t think of anything to give them. Not going to evolve Reina just yet. But we’re close.

Once we get inside Looker excitedly opens the door.

It’s funny because this is the seventh or eighth time an adult has told us not to endanger ourselves or get involved in the whole Team Galactic thing.

I’d like to imagine that Spamigo’s slightly shaking but still going.

I wonder if this line was the same in the Japanese version. If so, then I’d like to imagine that the writer finished that line, snapped their fingers, and wrote down a note about what they’d do for the plot in the next generation.

This door is locked. Looker didn’t give us the key, either.

I think this is my favorite Grunt in the whole place. “Man, it’s just not fun any more, go ahead if you want.”

But maybe most of these Grunts are feeling uninspired, because a lot of the rotating ones don’t rotate fast enough to catch me sneaking around.

If you remember my story about the Scientist that ended my first Nuzlocke run, you might understand why a Scientist sending a Kadabra out sends an involuntary shiver down my spine.

Even though at this point Castellia’s really got nothing to fear from a Kadabra unless it has, like, Flamethrower.

And Kadabra can’t learn Flamethrower.

The key doesn’t take very long to find but I forgot what I was actually supposed to be doing with it so I end up wandering around in the Galactic base for a while.

One more Croagunk/Toxicroak on the “Anticipation kicked in and it immediately got KO’d.”

Poor grunt. I wonder if he’ll get knocked down to having to use a Purrloin.

Ah yes, I too know how it feels to have marketing push down a list of phrases you should be using on your LinkedIn profile.

I’m back in the front building instead of coming through the storage warehouse because I got that turned around.

You think it’s an evil Team Galactic TV room but actually the same clique of 5 people always take it over during their breaks and put on celebrity gossip. Not even evil celebrity gossip.

This however, clearly looks like an evil book report:

@Team Galactic's Evil Book Report By Cyrus Age 27

The creation of Dialga,
The giver of Time,
In laughter, there is tears,
And, likewise it is with time.
The same time flows on.
For it is the blessing of Dialga.

@Team Galactic's Evil Book Report Page 2

The birth of Palkia.
The creator of parallel dimensions.
Alive, yet not alive,
Everything drifts in space.
To arrive in the same universe,
It is the blessing of Palkia.

Seems a little unfair that Dialga gets Sunrise, Sunset But Legally Distinct and Palkia gets the full on that which is not dead can ever lie, but what do I know. Maybe Gamefreak had to balance things out because the Dialga topper stylus was cooler looking. Go ahead and fite me people who preordered Pearl.

Well… this looks like an important plot development. Bit of a shorter update today, but we’ll be back with a longer one next time!

NEXT TIME: Big Speeches And Big Battles

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 26: The Great Big Ghiren Zabi Speech Scene

Hello! When last we left off, we were about to crash Team Galactic’s big evil rally.

“Aren’t, uh… Aren’t we going to get spotted here?”

“I have witnessed never Team Galactic grunts to be particularly observant.”

@Cryus' Big Evil Speech

“My name, as I appear to you today, is Cyrus.
This world of ours is a crude one.
In a word, it is incomplete.
It has been, and always will be, a struggle to survive in this world.
We humans and Pokemon are likewise incomplete.
Because we are all so lacking, we fight, we maim… It is ugly.
I hate the incompleteness.
That we are all incomplete, I hate it with my entire body and being.
The world should be complete.
The world must change.
Then, who will change it?
Me, Cyrus. And Team Galactic. Yes, all of you.
Together we pored over myths and exposed their secrets.
Together we captured the legendary Pokemon.
And now, Team Galactic has obtained the energy to change the world!
The power of dreams is within our grasp!
Understand it, fellow members!
My long-held dreamworld is on the verge of becoming reality.
All those headed to Mt. Coronet, and those who remain here…
Though our missions may differ, our hearts beat as one.
Let there be glory for Team Galactic!”

Before any of you get any ideas nobody siegs a Zeon in my house.

Why didn’t we get caught? Look it’s really clear one side’s the entrance and the other side is the exit and Galactic Grunts aren’t going to mess that up.

“But the astoundingness of the performance confuses with its message. To make a world for Team Galactic and only? And what is it that is incomplete about this world? It is so preposterous and makes my head spin. But have no fear, investigating this matter is a job for the Pulizija Internazzjonali. Of which I am a member. Therefore it is my job to do the investigation here.”

I mean we came all the way to Team Galactic’s evil base, we’re not going to leave now.

…I do not want to know why this sign is necessary.

Doesn’t take long to find Cyrus though!

With all the heroism Spamigo could muster into his voice and Wilhelmina at his side he burst into the room and dramatically yelled, “Cyrus!”

…Harsh but understandable.

So Cyrus is crazy bananas.

And we’re battling now.

This Sneasel really needed to score a crit with its Slash to make Reina feel the attack. And uh, it didn’t.

It’s funny how Cyrus mocks emotions and sentimentality but then has a Pokemon with a happiness-based evolution. Some one missed a trick on the ol’ gameplay-story integration there.

Mina rolls higher on the second Thunderbolt and gets the one-shot in.

Feels like Static has kicked in way more in this run than it has in my other Pokemon runs. But then I suppose this is the longest I’ve used a Pokemon with Static.

Mina also rolls high enough for the one-shot again.

And… Mina’s electric heart of justice, Sid’s ability to bite things, Anomalo mastering the path of the sword, Castellia’s iron bulwarks, Reina’s power over the seas, and Dogu can shoot death beams from his eyes.

Ah yes the part in every Random Team Run when I get the Master Ball and have no use for it either.

What am I catching?

Right now I’d imagine Spamigo is wondering why he couldn’t just have a criminal syndicate to deal with.

…Well this just got Umbrella-y in a hurry.

It probably stings when you tell people there’s no magical Pokemon in the lake and then you see it hooked up in the painmatron.

So let’s rescue it?

Turns out the answer is he hates you!

So, Saturn.

His Golbat gets instantly mind-whammied. But then I spend too long playing with my food, as it were.

I keep forgetting The game keeps bugging out and allowing Psychic moves to hit a Dark/Poison type.

And funnily enough Anomalo’s moveset is all resisted by Toxicroak.

Not that he doesn’t give as good as he’s getting regardless, though. But I mean, it’s a Toxicroak, so we know what must ultimately happen to it.

Note that Dogu came out too late for Anticipation, so don’t actually put this on the Anticipation OHKO chart.

We could talk to Charon here, but Charon’s the worst character in this game, so we’re not.

Push the button, Gordon. Man that video is twelve years old and I still smile thinking about it.

The Lake Pokemon that don’t do exist float forwards and warp away because why would you stay in this creepy mad science lab?

NEXT TIME: Open up display settings because we’re going to start getting some resolution.

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 27: Name One Good Thing That Happened On Top Of A Mountain I Dare You

Welcome back, dear reader(s). Let’s start the long road to wrapping this up, why don’t we? We’re going to have a few more longer updates before we close out the plot.

Before we start… There’s a hard decision to make. Going up Mt. Coronet requires Strength and Rock Climb, and by the rules I’ve set for myself I am allowed to catch Pokemon for HM use so that I don’t have to spread HMs out on my six. In hindsight, there was a case to be made for leaving Dogu back, but in the moment I reluctantly put Sid into the PC to bring out Jammerjab.

I mean, having a magic quarterstaff to lift boulders and bounce on slopes sounds useful.

We start at the entrance to Mt. Coronet just north of Oreburgh.

When I was deciding who to bench, Anomalo was not a consideration at all. Why?

Rock Slide, baby! I’ve been planning for this since the RNG gave me an Anorith to use. 80% Accuracy isn’t great, but 75 power plus STAB is.

And Anomalo was already holding onto the Wide Lens anyway.

Well that looks… attention-grabbing. Let’s scoot on around to there.

Of course.

Do you think that there’s a route up to the top of Mt. Coronet if you knock down the cave painting in Celestic Town? Could we have gotten a shortcut up here if we’d let them blow the cave painting up?

“Yeah I know he said he was going to blow up the universe and make a new universe for just himself.”

“I do not remembering that part of his speech…?”

“I chased him down and we had a battle and then I let the lake Pokemon go.”

Oh okay whew. I thought Mina would have a breakdown if we had to battle someone else trying to stop the bad guys.

Gonna have to say that although we joke about everything being solved by Pokemon battles/card games on motorcycles/Netbattles/Robattles, lampshading it in such a way still strikes me as odd. Like if you never bring it up I wouldn’t think about it and it wouldn’t bother me, but when you drag the premise logic into question…

Also there’s not really a reason he couldn’t come with. You’ll see.

Oh yeah that’s uh… That’s the one that raises the encounter rate? I’m not looking it up.

Here’s the inside of Mt. Coronet. It’s full of random battles and nonrandom battles (you should expect Galactic Grunts by now). A lot of spinners are not very motivated here either, and if I hadn’t gotten lost partway up I could’ve avoided a good deal of the trainers.

Most tell you to give up. After Anomalo or Mina paste their Pokemon in two hits at most.

There could be an argument for doubling Castellia’s Defense, but I didn’t think of it at the time.

God created man, Pokemon made them equal.

I’ve got a grudge against this Galactic Grunt in particular because they LOOK there’s a puzzle to get them to move… but there isn’t. Where do you actually go?

Did YOU see the Rock Climb wall on your first visual pass? If you did send me video evidence because I spent like 30 minutes walking through the same 4 screens trying to figure out how to go up.

(battle)

I love the “Man you’re just like, really killing the vibe here, man,” Galactic Grunts.

You could probably just cut out the whole quote and the statement would be true.

Add another one to the Ancicpation tally!

Hmm… Seems plotty around here.

Epic duel, you say?

Yeah that’s how much they took off of Mina and Castellia.

I love 'em because of the stuff they say not that they’re all good battlers.

Oh boy.

Looks like we’re in for a two-on-one but in comes Barry for the assist!

Together, Mars and Jupiter do actually become more than the sum of their parts. Mapiter? Jurs?

There’s a running theme for the next few battles: I didn’t look ahead to see what the leading Pokemon were. Dogu was not a good choice for any of them. I switch to Castellia on the Bug Bite vs. Psychic Type theory. Also:

“Barry, where’s the bird?”

“Munchlax can take whatever they’re gonna thr-”

“BARRY WHERE’S THE BIRD?!”

But then they go and do this! Well, we know how to handle screens around here.

Now you have a damage reduction, now you don’t.

Meanwhile Munchlax…

Well it’s soaking up damage real well.

Put the barrier moves down or SO HELP ME!

Oh. You.

It goes after Munchlax here.

Now that? That feels good.

Anomalo’s getting low but honestly taking out that Purugly is more than enough.

Munchlax finally goes down. Will Barry send out That Bird next?

While you wonder about that, Anomalo gets in some more damage and one of those Bronzors puts up another friggin’ barrier.

It can keep Reflect up, we’ll send in a special attacker.

That Bird wastes no time in doing what it normally does: A lot of damage.

Also, the Golbat was Mars’ last Pokemon, and now we’ve turned this from a 2-on-2 into a 2-on-1. Unlike Liza & Tate, Mapiter/Jurs can’t share Pokemon slots.

Reina probably wasn’t the best choice to send out because…

Well That Bird did plenty anyway.

I do have a good long think about this, but I’d rather Anomalo had access to Swords Dance to double his Attack more than I want to replace any other move that he only got via TM.

Also he’s only just now learning Slash.

Luckily, Flying type means I don’t need to immediately hit the Surf button while his Rapidash is out.

I wait a turn. Surf technically don’t even take the Rapidash out, that was the Poison Jab.

Mina doesn’t even get a chance to act as this Heracross takes the Skuntank to ground and just pummels the ever loving snot out of the walking fart joke.

I mean I’ve already beat Cyrus twice, how hard can round three be?

It’s harder.

Uh… Barry I’ve got like 15 Moomoo Milks in my bag.

Barry took off at his usual breakneck pace away from the Spear Pillar temple, probably running over a few Galactic Grunts on his way down the mountain. Jupiter and Mars joined Spamigo in staring incredulously.

Jupiter broke the silence first: “Wow, that’s cold.”

“Seriously,” Mars added. “Even we can get along long enough to battle.”

Oh right, stopping Cyrus. We’ll get to that… next update.

NEXT TIME: It Gets Story

[SpammyV]

I am extremely sorry to say that there will not be an update this weekend. Last week not only did my schedule change but I also learned that through work there was a very real chance I had been working in close proximity to someone with COVID-19. I haven’t gotten my test results back, but I haven’t developed symptoms yet and it doesn’t seem to have spread to others in the company. Nevertheless I spent most of my time scheduling testing and getting prepared for if I did have it, so I could not work on the update as much. I hope to be back next week.

PSA stay safe and don’t have to get a swab test they hurt.

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 28: I Would’ve Been Fine With Just One Dimension Honest

Hello! Just to follow up to the health concern in my previous post: My test result and the test result of the person I’d been working most closely with both came back negative. And we’ve not developed symptoms in the past two weeks.

Since there’s a lot of words in this section, I thought I’d try something a little stylistically different. Sound off if you feel a emotion above the normal baseline strength!

v

Despite being atop the peak of Mt. Coronet, there was no wind blowing through the old ruins. The air felt unnaturally still, forced into silence by powers greater than nature. As Cyrus stood there with a loop of red chain in either hand, it lent his voice a booming quality, as though his words could reach from the surface to space.

“Everything is ready for the creation of a new world. Now, all will end. And everything will begin. With this, the Red Chain made from the crystals of the three lake Pokemon… And this, the Red Chain I replicated with technological means… With these Red Chains I will pry open the portal to another dimension! I command that you unleash your power for me!”

He held both chains aloft, and they began to burn with an inner light and rapidly spin in rings above his head.

The space in front of Cyrus warped, twisted, and finally burst into two flashes of light. When that faded, two titans stood in front of Cyrus in glowing fields that seemed to restrain them. They both struggled to stand as the field pulled them down, but their gaze never wavered from Cyrus. The expression in their eyes was enough to freeze Spamigo on an instinctual level.

“I’ve waited so long for this moment, Dialga and Palkia!” Cyrus sounded almost conversational in his triumph, uncaring of the strain on the Pokemon of legend. “Shaping the world is a double spiral of time and space. Yes, the very things you have the ability to control! You will do my bidding! I will have your abilities as mine! With the power I wield, I will create an entirely new world!”

Cyrus took a step forwards, but the behemoths were locked in place. “The incomplete and ugly world we have now will disappear. I am resetting everything to zero. Nothing can remain. It is all for making the ultimate world, a world of complete perfection. Not so vague and incomplete as spirit can remain.”

A trio of lilting cries rang out across the air. Uxie, Azelf, and Mespirit raced towards the mountain, orbiting above the platform. Whether it was just psychological or something more, their appearance broke Spamigo from his awed spell. He even managed to take a few steps forward as he helled “Cyrus! Stop!”

“Who will stop me? You?” Cyrus turned without haste to face Spamigo. “The Pokemon of the lakes? With all your worthless powers combined perhaps you could stand against Dialga or Palkia alone, but not both. But now, Spamigo…”

Perhaps Cyrus thought his smile was magnanimous, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. “You have been a constant pain in my side, but even you will be forgiven. After all, there will be no spirit in my new world. All spirit will be stripped away. From you, from your Pokemon, from all the world! It is time! My dream will be…!”

Cyrus paused as the air suddenly changed. Both he and Spamigo looked around confused. There was more pressure on their skin and eardrums, while the hairs on their skin stood up from electric charge.

Shadows broke away from the sources on the ground and pooled together into a disc of blackness. Perhaps it was a pit, but there was no way to see the walls and tell. Two spiteful red eyes lit within the shadows, and they mounded up with red spikes. Dialga and Palkia watched the shadow warily… but without the fear that Spamigo felt.

“A Pokemon that can only exist as a shadow…?” Cyrus’ tone was musing, and entirely too unconcerned for the circumstances. “Regardless, this effort is rash and foolish. I have harnessed the powers of Dialga and Palkia!”

Time huhg like a stuttering video, with Cyrus’ last syllable hanging in the air. The lake Pokemon, even Dialga and Palkia were frozen. The only thing in motion was the shadow as it lunged forward without warning, blanketing the platform in pitch darkness and a roar of rushing wind.

Cynthia ran to the shadowed pit, now a portal, heavily out of breath. Spamigo barely noticed: When he looked at the pillars they were as perfectly straight as when he arrived, but as soon as his focus shifted they warped and twisted.

Uxie and Azelf dove directly into the portal, but Mespirit circled around Spamigo and Cynthia, lingering for a moment before flipping back and into the swirling pit.

“When the world was made, Dialga and Palkia appeared… Where did they go now? Doesn’t matter. There was a third Pokemon that appeared too, one that was equally powerful but never to be spoken of: Giratina.” Cynthia tried to explain as calmly as she could considering how reality was twisting around them and how out of breath she was from running up the mountain.

Spamigo slowly nodded and asked, “Is… is that what took Cyrus?”

“You saw it? That’s…” Cynthia shook her head to clear her thoughts, slowly walking over to the portal and glancing into it. “That’s probably why everything’s wrong now. Giratina was supposed to live in another world, one opposite of ours. They were never meant to be linked… But now this portal is here. The distortion will spread… And probably mean the end of our world.”

He could have come up with any reason to leave, but Spamigo walked up beside her, looking at the glimpse of the other world at the far end of the portal. “So… we need to go through, don’t we?”

On the other side there was no wind, no moving air. The stone platforms hovering in the distance would vanish when looked directly at, only staying in view on the edges of Spamigo’s vision. One floated along, blinking back to its original position after a few moments, caught in a loop.

“There’s no Pokemon here… And this place isn’t stable.” This world seemed to be the first thing that gave Cynthia pause.

“Let’s just find Giratina fast and-”

So, the Distorion World.

I dig it!

The Distortion World is kind of pushing the bounds of what a segment can be in a Pokemon game, but after a few years I enjoyed coming back to it. The weirdness is a plus to me.

The camera angle switching and walking on walls mean at least that I feel acutely just how far from reality this all is.

Although when you still can only move in the cardinal directions, moving visually diagonally is tricky to figure out. I never moved the right direction the first time the camera changed in all of these segments.

Spamigo caught up to Cynthia on one of those sideways planes. Where they connected, it just seemed like one platform a short hop away from another on the same level. It wasn’t until he got a few steps away that the world twisted, and the ground he was now standing on appeared perpendicular to the platform he’d just been on. But there was never a moment of movement, nothing that threw off his sense of balance or said that reality was twisting itself around. He chose not to think about it too long.

“There was… supposed to be a world on the other side of ours. This world. But… why?” Cynthia looked around at the confusing sky. “There’s nothing here but Giratina.”

Spamgio ventured a guess, “Maybe there’s more to it? And this is just a place where everything’s twisted because of…”

“Maybe. We need to hurry and find the right way down. Let’s split up. Yell if you find something!” Cynthia set her shoulders again, and kept on the path with Spamigo not far behind.

What he didn’t expect was to find Cyrus standing on one of the paths, seething. He seemed aware of Spamigo’s presence, even if he barely registered it in favor of muttering to himself in a low, half-crazed tone.

“That Pokemon brought me here, abandoned me here… Was all it wanted to interfere with my plans?” His attention swung to Spamigo in an unnervingly reptilian way, swiveling his eyes first with his head following later. “You. Do you understand the concept of genes?”

Spamigo had been tensed for a battle, Pokeball already in hand. A basic science question came out of left field for him, but he managed a curt nod that nevertheless made Cyrus roll his eyes.

It seemed his monologing would have continued regardless of whatever Spamigo indicated. “I’m sure you do. The building blocks of life… Two chains of information in a spiral, one could repair the other but they can’t exist without the other. This bizarre world, the opposite of ours… This is the other chain opposite our world. Without one world the other cannot exist. That must be why that shadowy Pokemon interfered with my plans. It must have made this world. Yes… If I defeat it, nothing protect this world, and NOTHING will stop me from changing our world!”

So do I want to know what the plants are or how they’re growing(?) here? I’m not asking for the details I’m asking if I want to know.

You know what I start to wonder the longer I replay this section?

When did the Giratina as the antimatter dragon Satan Pokemon start? Because the read of these events is that Giratina intervened to stop the whole, y’know, reality being destroyed thing.

You can argue that is a self-centered act (I mean, I’d probably save reality because that’s where my stuff is and we have cute animals), but as we’ll see, it doesn’t look like Giratina is either evil or the villain-but-not-really-because-the-writers-obviously-want-you-to-sympathize type.

Also I just love this little crazy waterfall segment. The extreme camera change is the thing that most sells the fact you really are descending.

So Giratina being the destroyer puzzles me a bit now.

Given that we’re still only halfway through my screenshots folder for this update and we still have some major battles upcoming (spoiler)… This seems like a good stopping point.

NEXT TIME: It only gets worse from here on in…

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 29: There Were No More Worlds To Conquer. There Never Were Any To Begin With.

Cynthia and Cyrus squared off across from each other. Perhaps the lighting could have dramatically framed them, the wind sent their cloaks dramatically billowing. But in this strange dimension there was only a flat, shadowless illumination and the air was utterly still.

“Why do you want to ‘fix’ the world so badly?” Cynthia’s tone was as cold and challenging as her gaze. “If you’re that unhappy you could find somewhere quiet and live alone by yourself.”

Cyrus’s voice had twisted into a snarl, and the hateful, agitated way he stared at Cynthia and Spamigo was a far cry from the cold confidence he’d exuded at the Spear Pillar. “Why would I have to be the one to leave? It is the world that is incomplete, it is the world that is broken! Removing what is incomplete, that is th-”

" YOU COULD CHANGE! "

The outburst caught both adults by surprise. Starting to tremble with anger, the words poured out of Spamigo as soon as they entered his thoughts. “The only thing broken and incomplete here is YOU! You’re the one that gave up on the world. You- Everyone on Team Galactic that believes in you! Everything you know how to do- You could be the one fixing the world! You could be better than this!”

Of the two adults staring at Spamigo in shock after his outburst, Cynthia was the first one to recover her composure, letting out a short laugh and simply adding, “What he said.”

That comment pushed Cyrus over the breaking point. "Why should I be the one to change? The world is wrong! Not me! This is my mission to correct this flawed world and I will not be stopped! Not by the lake Pokemon, not by Giratina, and not by you! "

You could certainly pull up the Cyrus battle music and play it here, and it would be very good. But, if you’d consider an alternative, might I suggest Archnemesis from the Yakuza 0 soundtrack?

So you remember what I said a while ago about leaving Dogu in front when I shouldn’t have?

Well… Houndoom is still a Fire-type. And Dogu knows AncientPower because I haven’t found anything worth replacing it with, so maybe this can-

Y’know what fine screw this Reina just Surf this thing out.

Y-
You-
ANOMALO! WE ARE NOT BEING NICE ANY MORE!

Ah, a Water/Flying type. I know how to handle this. We’ll just-

Oh thank God.

Now, this Weavile… can’t actually do anything against Castellia.

All that and the only thing it has to show for its efforts is some bruised knuckles.

I have all the time that I need to heal Dogu and Wilhelmina, revive and heal Reina, and even burn Cyrus’ Full Restore. It even Froze Castellia and it didn’t make a lick of difference in the end.

Perhaps when this Honchkrow was just a Murkrow, it had dreams that one day it would have the most shiny things, and it would run the flock right, like how things should be, a flock where everyone looked out for everyone else. But bit by bit, with every decision made out of necessity, that slipped away. There was no definitive point, no moment when it looked in the mirror and said “This is who I will be from now on,” but the change happened. Really, who among us can judge it?

I’ll tell you what I can judge: That’s gotta hurt.

I… don’t know why Cyrus doesn’t appear in this screenshot. There wasn’t an issue in the game.

Cyrus staggered back, and his shock soon turned into a broken, humorless laugh. “What does it matter?! That Pokemon created this world! Whether you defeat it or capture it doesn’t matter! Take away that Pokemon and this world disappears! If this world disappears both worlds will crumble! You won’t repair them- You’ll destroy them for me! Do what you will!” He yelled as he turned away. “You inherit my legacy!”

“Giratina chose to bring us here,” Cynthia was still looking at the retreating madman. Her voice took on a more comforting tone as she saw Spamigo slumped against one of the rocks, with Mina resting her head on his shoulder. “Hey, you did great. Don’t worry about what he said. If Giratina stopped him before, and has been testing us all the way down here, I can’t believe it would be so we would be the ones that destroy the worlds. I think…” She paused to turn and look down the path ahead. “It’s been waiting to meet you.”

After worrying for so long about Team Galactic and Cyrus, after jumping into another dimension, and after losing what calm he had battling Cyrus, Spamigo was exhausted. Mentally and physically. However tough he had tried to act, it vanished for a moment. “Why can’t it just let us go home? I’m tired.”

“Me too,” Cynthia sighed. “But kid, you’re pretty impressive. I think… Giratina led us down here so it could face you. No matter what happens, if you bea it or catch it… It just wants to see the kind of person you are. I don’t think there’s anything for you to be afraid of any more.”

“Not the dragon monster that brought us here?”

“It brought us here instead of doing anything worse.”

It had raced through space as a shadow while they had puzzled there way to the bottom (or what seemed like the bottom) of this strange pocket world. It was the only other thing that made any noise here. And the noise it made was more like a scream than any other Pokemon cry Spamigo had ever heard.

And now that they were face to face, it was silent.

Its blood-red gaze was unblinking, and it didn’t move, not even to flap its wings as it hung in space.

And then it attacked.

Hey remember what I said about leaving Dogu in front?

DOGU HAS NO BUSINESS BEING IN THE SAME ASTRAL PLANE AS A GHOST/DRAGON.

But since it decided not to reach into the akashic records and remove Dogu from the total knowledge of the universe, let’s set up a Reflect wall.

And then throw rocks at one another? I’m not sure why Giratina doesn’t just Shadow Force Dogu into infinite obliteration.

It’s a Ghost, but it’s also a Dragon. And Reina has a nice beam.

Alright, so realtalk here: I made a commitment a while back that I would show the failed attempts rather than just say “It took me a dozen tries to beat this Gym Leader.” So that failure was not buried under the rug while emphasizing success. But, the success that happens, happens without being cherry-picked to make me look good at Pokemon (hahahahaha I’d lose so fast on Showdown).

So then this happened.

Man I remember having to reload against Giratina so often when I was playing Platinum for the first time.

Even frozen, Giratina glared directly at Spamigo. He was uneasy as he reached for the Master Ball and weighed it in his hands. He could… but should he? He probably wouldn’t travel with it. The Professor would probably jump at the chance to study a Legendary Pokemon, but was that any better?

And so he let it go.

Rather than stay down or fall into the void, the ice around Giratina abruptly vanished and it floated upward again. It still didn’t roar, and it still didn’t look away from Spamigo, but just mabe its gaze wasn’t so cold in that moment.

Cyrus raced to them, manically elated for a moment. But whatever he expected to happen, whatever sundering of reality or encroaching void or time and space abandoning all laws of nature to chaos… Didn’t happen. Even this strange world continued to exist as it always had in its own strange way. Giratina vanishing after the battle seemed to have no impact on them at all.

“…So nothing happens? Can I not create a new world?!” His pitch rose word by word as his anger grew. “Even if I create new Red Chains, Giratina will interfere again! Why?! Why do you all insist on protecting this broken world! It is incomplete! Imperfect! It doesn’t deserve to be! Anger, despair, loneliness… You would protect these things?! Why?!”

Before when he’d faced Cyrus’ ravings, the anger had burned up inside Spamigo into an a rare outburst of rage. But now… all he felt was pity. “…We can help each other. We don’t have to be alone. It’s- The other side of the chain that makes us complete.”

Cynthia nodded and added, “Because we know sadness, we can know joy. Anger gives birth to compassion. We treasure our friends, because we know loneliness.”

“ENOUGH!” Cyrus’ voice was practically a screech, but then he turned cold in an instant. He threw the bundle with his Pokeballs at Cynthia’s feet, and spoke now barely above a whisper. “I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone. I don’t need the world. I don’t need your flawed emotions. I will break this world. And one day you awaken in my perfect world.”

Spamigo started to follow but a gentle hand on his shoulder stopped him. The worry must’ve been evident on his face, because Cynthia wasted no time in saying, “He made his choice. I think… Giratina brought him here for a reason too. When he realizes… I think he’ll come back. But a different person. Now… Feel that breeze? I think that’s the portal home.”

Why would you say no?

She thought she was talking under her breath, but Spamigo still caught her muttering “Sendoff Spring again…?”

“But… what is this place? I’ve never seen this lake before. Where are we?”

“Just south of Veilstone. Not far away at all, actually. They just keep it well hidden.”

Now, we’ll just leave Spamigo & co. to confuse Sid greatly for a while by hugging the ground and being generally grateful for reality.

NEXT TIME: Updating my CV with "Saved the world once."

[SpammyV]

UPDATE 30: Next Steps

Hello! Last time, we wrapped up a whole bushel of plot. A bumper crop of plot. You think you’ve seen a fresh plot before but this is the tiny farmer’s market with the plot so good you think the old farmer sold his soul to the devil for the ability to grow perfect tomatoes.

What I’m getting at is the last few updates were relatively important in the grand scheme of things.

Remember way on way back when Rowan made Spamigo promise not to reckless endanger himself? For some reason after the dimension hopping it seems like an especially long time. Although maybe Spamigo endangered himself but not recklessly and thus fulfilled the obligation of the geas in an overly technical way.

Probably should go inside instead of putting this off further.

It seemed like so long ago that Spamigo had walked through these doors, and the last thing that he had expected to happen then was that Rowan would give him five more Pokemon after he’d already let him take care of Mina. Finally, something had come along that was even less expected than what had happened that fateful day.

Namely, that he would not get two steps in before Rowan pulled him into a bear hug that smelled faintly of aftershave. “You’ve- You’ve really done it! You’ve left me speechless! In all my sixty long years I’ve never seen such a show!”

In comparison to the Professor’s exuberance, Dawn seemed timid and almost sheepish as she stepped over too. “The Professor was really worried, calling everyone he knew. Uhm… I’m really glad you’re safe, Spamigo.”

Spamigo stepped back once he was released, a little embarrassed by the display. “Is… Is that how Cynthia found me?”

“Yes!” Neither Rowan’s excitement or his volume had faded. “When- When we found Barry after the lake I contacted Cynthia and told her everything. She said she had an idea where to go. I’m so glad that she found you! Please, come in, I want to hear everything!”

Rowan ushered Spamigo into a sitting area and started an electric kettle to make some tea. Spamigo didn’t drink tea, but this didn’t seem like the time to mention it. He did tell them everything. About the speech that Cyrus gave, about freeing Mespirit and the other lake Pokemon, and about climbing Mt. Coronet. He tried to tell them about Giratina and the distortion realm, but even as he spoke he wasn’t sure his words could accurately convey what it was he saw in the Distortion World. Trying to say what had happened made him almost not believe what he’d seen.

Rowan and Dawn were quiet listeners. Rowan out of interest and consideration, Dawn from some mix of awe and horror. Rowan asked only a few polite questions when Spamigo paused, mostly about the legendary Pokemon he had seen. A few about Cyrus. Spamigo didn’t really want to go into more detail about that then he had to.

Although he didn’t drink tea, by the time he was finished there was only a thin puddle of cold liquid in the bottom of his mug.

Dawn was the one that broke the silence first with a question: “So… what are you going to do now?”

The only answer Spamigo had was a shrug. So Rowan cleared his throat and made a suggestion.

"All you’ve done so far, earning seven badges, defeating Team Galactic… I see no reason you shouldn’t get your eighth badge from Sunyshore and challenge the Pokemon league. You’ve more than earned a rest. I believe you could do it.

“But,” he said as he got up to gather everyone’s mugs, “Your journey is your own.”

So he stopped home for a quick rest.

And then started on the road to Sunyshore. There used to be a guy here saying that you couldn’t go to the town because of a blackout that’s lasted… half the game so far.

Ultimately Route 222 is extremely short. Compared to how winding previous routes were, this is almost a straight shot with almost no required Trainer battles. Really just seems like Game Freak’s ready for you to get to the end too.

Looks directly at the first half of 2020 Huh… Yeah.

In my head Flint sounds like the kind of person that ends every sentence in bro.

Anyway, Flint wants us to fight Volkner because everyone who’s been here to challenge the Gym has been lame and Volkner’s bored and spending all his time renovating the Gym.

How bored you have to be before getting involved in building renovation sounds more fun I don’t know. I’ve never been so out of it I thought “You know what let’s paint that wall and put in a floating shelf.” In the real world, at least. Sometimes I get board and start playing House Flipper.

Or does that mean I get so bored I turn to home renovation?

The first Gym was in a town that was famous for its still-active coal mine.

Do they mine the coal just to look at it?

NO IDEA DON’T KNOW WHERE HE IS NOW SORRY TO BOTHER YOU

Scenic Snorlax Rock.

Well that looks like a unique character sprite.

Perhaps… one day… Jasmine will face someone with “spam” worked awkwardly into their name.

After this, I decide to get everyone up to 48 before challenging the Gym.

Incidentally, I had to spend a lot of time trawling through decade-old forum posts to try to figure out exactly how Pokemon Platinum Action Replay codes worked to find something that would work without nuking my entire backpack and giving me 999 Dragon Scales or giving me 999 of every possible item or give me a level 100 Arceus with 999 stats.

70 power and a boosted crit chance vs. 80 power an a 20% chance to lower the target’s Defense. Since Sid doesn’t outspeed most things I suppose there’s an argument for Night Slash there. I stuck with Crunch because big numbers make me feel a little happier.

But also, if you know what the Dragon Scale means, you know what’s coming up!

It’s time for Reina to finally evolve! Now that we’re in the final stretch it seemed a fine time to let her be a Kingdra. Queendra? Time to let one of the best be even better.

If Kingrda actually learned any Physical Dragon-type moves at all maybe there would be a world where I give her Dragon Dance. But that’s not the world we live in.

NEXT TIME: I’ve done low-voltage electrical work for three years and all I still really know about electricity is I don’t wanna touch it.