I Didn't Get To Choose My Friends - Pokemon Platinum Random Team Run

UPDATE 10: KICK DOWN THE DOOR!

Spamigo would have just left the city after getting the badge. It would’ve been simple just to put one foot in front of the other and walk on our, but there was something looming over the town. Something spiky. Something ominous.

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Something obviously evil.

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So Scarfy gets another tool for her belt!

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OH WELL NEVERMIND WRONG ADDRESS HAHAHAHAHA

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Since Looker didn’t seem to care, Spamigo cast an aside glance at the receptionist, who thankfully was far too absorbed in a celebrity gossip magazine to notice another Galactic Grunt whipping off their disguise to loudly reveal themselves as an InterPol agent.

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“No!” Spamigo replied with sarcasm that was completely missed.

Looker nodded. “Indeed. They are… what is idiom? A few Pokemon short of a full team? A half-empty Potion? A Bicycle wth one wheel? An-”

“Yeah I got it the first time actually.”

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Mysterious. Perhaps if we’d found their boss we’d know what Team Galactic’s goals are!

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Hmm… suspicious.

Anyway. You go up the stairs. Sometimes there’s Trainers at the bottom. Sometimes there’s Trainers at the top. Almost all of them are bog-standard Galactic Grunts, except for…

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This guy. This guy I’m always going to remember.

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Scientist Trevon.

Years upon years ago, right after I’d first heard about the Nuzlocke challenge and binged through the Nuzlocke archives, I dug up my favorite DS Pokemon game (Platinum) and popped it in and started playing. It wasn’t so bad! I even ended up getting a Shinx and a Ponyta, which were mainstays of my team pretty much all through my first Diamond run.

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And then I get here. A Kadabra that gets fed an X Special. Most of my attacks were Special. I didn’t have anything faster. I wore it down for nothing. My A-lister team got wiped right here and I haven’t had the spirit to do a full Nuzlocke since.

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Almost seems ridiculous now, doesn’t it?

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I’m sure it is, buddy.

Oh right, the plot.

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How can they be evil when they have signs like this around?

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The older man just shook his head. “Our poor region. We were all known for our Zubats and Glameows until Galactic came along and stole them!”

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“Like I already dealt with Mars?”

“Mars?” Jupiter laid the scoff on extra thick for maximum derision. “Mars is a brat that’s barely above being a Grunt. You’ll see what makes a Commander now!”

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For some reason I always underestimate what moves a Zubat’s going to know.

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“That’s not a Bite. This is a Bite.”

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Want to see something stupid?

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I don’t look things up while I’m playing, so I forgot Skuntank was Poison/Dark and would’ve been immune anyway.

Skuntank, of course, does not evolve until level 38. After reviewing the facts I have come to endorse the Fat Stunky Theory. Teach the controversy!

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Didn’t apply your debuff in time you walking fart joke!

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I’m just going to say that sometimes it doesn’t feel like Paralysis only has a 25% chance of eating a turn.

Also this thing is annoyingly tanky.

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It finally batters Mina down.

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GRIND ITS SPEED INTO DIRT! I WANT SLOWPOKES TO BE ABLE TO BEAT IT ON THE TRACK!

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He’s totally allowed to learn that!

Level 19 and still doesn’t know a Bug move, just wanted to point that out.

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“How long does it take to look at a statue?”

“IT TOOK TWO WEEKS JUST TO HIRE A GRUNT THAT COULD READ!”

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There was something that ticked familiarly in the back of Spamigo’s mind about looking into the ancient Pokemon but no memories surfaced.

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This guy here is the Bicycle Shop owner. You can probably guess where this is going!

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But before we can get into RAD RICKSHAW’s shop, we get interrupted again because Eterna’s main export is interruptions.

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Getting something in advance set off alarm bells in Spamigo’s mind now that some complicated favor would be incoming. “I… like the team I have now.”

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“Listen to me, kid. Take. The. Egg.”

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“I’ll take the Egg?”

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“So… What’s in the Egg?”

“You’ll see. It’s useful though, I’ll tell you that much.”

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(this thing is going straight in the box)

(I DIDN’T RNG ROLL AN EGG)

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ANYway, it’s Bicycle in a Pokemon game time! Bind that thing to the quick item button and start rolling around at the speed of sound!

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I wish this did work on an emulator. I mostly liked the Underground. Mostly having an infinite source of Shards and Heart Scales behind a light minigame.

NEXT TIME: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE’S NOT CUTE?!