Etrian Odyssey V: It's not a phase, Mom, my real name is Thunderclap Fencer

Etrian Odyssey V: Beyond the Myth (世界樹の迷宮Ⅴ: 長き神話の果て/Sekaiju no Meikyuu V: Nagaki Shinwa no Hate, lit. “Labyrinth of Yggdrasil V: End of the Long Myth”) is a first-person dungeon crawler RPG developed by Atlus, released in Japan on August 4th, 2016, and due for release in the US and Europe in Fall 2017. It’s the fifth main entry in the Etrian Odyssey series, and the seventh overall (not including Etrian Mystery Dungeon). Much like the previous games in the series, EO5 is all about exploring pre-made dungeons with characters you create yourself, while evading deadly FOEs on the field and occasionally running into a random encounter that’s capable of smashing your party into a fine paste. Also cartography.

EO5 is more of a return to form after EO3 and EO4 experimented with giving you more things to do outside of the Labyrinth, which were…shall we say, of varying degrees of fun. In EO5, there is nothing to do but explore the Labyrinth and do sidequests, which are almost all based around going back to areas you’ve already explored. The plot’s also extremely minimal, almost mirroring EO1, in that you get some bits and maybe a side story, but all of the actual plot is saved for literally right before the final boss. This return to form’s also shown in the class designs (gameplay, not visual), which eschew the class-mixing encouraged by EO3/4 subclassing and EOU/EO2U Grimoires and instead have each class be pretty much self-contained.

Hold up. Not out in the US or Europe yet? I don’t know Japanese!

Lucky you, then, because this is a translation LP! I don’t know the first thing about Japanese either, so I’m going to be joined by Clarste and alcharagia, who are doing the roles of translator and editor, respectively.

Clarste and alcharagia aren’t just going to be helping behind the scenes, though–they’ll be joining me fairly frequently as co-commentators.

Co-commentary? You mean varying up BBCode, which ends up looking ugly as hell?

Nope. To distinguish who’s talking at any given time, we’ll be using some wonderful portraits drawn by my friend oB2Ko Mario.




Is this gonna be another narrative LP like EO2U (see the link at the end)?

You know it.

Why are all the music track titles really simple?

Because the OST wasn’t out yet when I prepared the images, so I just opted for really simplistic titles. I like the link images smaller, anyway.

Speaking of the music, each track has two different versions–the normal one, and the FM synth version (think the Sega Genesis and EO1-3). Clicking on the left of a link image brings you to the normal version, while clicking on the right brings you to the FM version.

Is there a spoiler policy?

On the off-chance that someone here actually knows the plot of EO5: even though there’s barely any plot until the very end of the main story and the very end of the postgame, please don’t spoil it. Not even in tags.

I want to be 100% completely up to date when an update goes live, and bookmarking the thread isn’t enough!

My Twitter’s over here. I’ll post basically immediately after every update.

Table of Contents

1st Stratum
Update 0: Adventure’s Outset
Update 1: Nameless
Update 2: Creepy Crawlies
Update 3: Eventualities
Update 4: Useless Crayfish
Update 5: Stoneborn
Golem Overview
Update 6: Grow! (Nameless vs. Golem)

2nd Stratum
Update 7: Rockface Rumble
Update 8: Swammerdami on the Rocks
Update 9: The Labyrinth Before Time 7: The Great Neckbeast Migration
Update 10: Something Important Happens
Update 11: Trumpeting Intensifies
Update 12: Unexpected Baboons
Update 13: The Strongest Link
Update 14: E2M5 (Alternatively: MAP10)
Hippogriff Overview
Update 15: Princess and Mage Make Technicolor Bird Cower in Fear (Nameless vs. Hippogriff)

3rd Stratum
Update 16: Dad Was Proud, He Didn’t Care How
Update 17: Agitating Skeletons
Update 18: Half-Life Full Life Consequences Joke
Update 19: Haunt/Reality
Update 20: Haunted Hall
Update 21: I Already Used The Levelord Message Joke
Update 22: Explorers’ Abbatoir
Undead King Overview
Update 23: Night of the Living Dead (Nameless vs. Undead King)

4th Stratum
Update 24: Uh
Update 25: Shiny Entertainment
Update 26: Lizard-kun
Update 27: Current process: SEKAIJ5
Update 28: Memes
Update 29: Mauthe Doog
Update 30: Teleporting Noise
Update 31: Stay Crystal, Dragonboy
Update 32: No Eyes Blue-and-White Dragon (Nameless vs. Crystal Dragon)

5th Stratum
Update 33: Harisuzume no Naku Koro ni
Update 34: Waiting For Ragnar to Play
Update 35: Clarste’s Asleep
Update 36: Harisuzume no Naku Koro ni Chiru
Update 37: Kinu’s Got the Hacksaw
Lord of the Primordial Darkness Overview
Update 38: Nobody Told Me About id (Purpose) (Nameless vs. Lord of the Primordial Darkness)

6th Stratum
Update 39: My Girlfriend Who Lives in Canada
Dryad Overview
Update 40: Beautiful Fighter! Dangerous Dryad (Nameless vs. Dryad)
Update 41: The Innocent Devil’s Song
Oliphant Overview
Dragon Zombie Overview
Update 42: All the World’s Fish Kneel Before Their Master (Nameless vs. Oliphant and Dragon Zombie)
Update 43: Sugar Mama
Update 44: Rage Awakened ~The Origin~
Lamia Overview
Update 45: The Real Queen of Snakes (Nameless vs. Lamia)
Update 46: C’mon, Let’s Go Home…
Star Devourer Overview
Final Update: …To the Planet That’s as Cool and Blue as Me! (Nameless vs. Star Devourer)

Common Passives

Ailments and Binds

Other EO Links
My Etrian Odyssey 2 Untold LP.

Guild Nameless’s Roster

Illusionary Fencer: Alexis (Submitted by blizzardvizard)

[quote]Alexis is the forty-seventh prince of a kingdom from a far, far away continent. He was to marry the thirty-second princess of a neighboring kingdom in another one of their families’ endless list of political marriages, but this particular princess turned out to be a bit of a rebel. She ditched him on the wedding day without so much an explanation or an apology. Later that he found out that she had grown dissatisfied with her caged and dictated life, so she escaped to Aeolis to become an “adventurer” and scale its giant tree–Yggdrasil. Even later on, he found out she had perished inside the dungeon.

He may not know her name, or have seen her face, or…know much anything about her at all, but Alexis has his honor. He would not let the murderer of his bethrothed go unpunished. There’s one problem, however. He did not know who or what, exactly, killed the princess, and deducing that is definitely an impossible task. But then the answer dawned upon him - it was not the monsters that killed her. She could have died to the boars, the cat-birds, the legs-in-a-pudding, but it would never had happened… without the challenge that the tree presents.

And so, he ran away from his home of sixteen years and got on a ship to Aeolis. (He was silently pleased at how dramatic it was to leave his pampered life just like the princess did.) Armed with a decorative sword he took off the palace walls and about three weeks’ worth of fencing lessons (that he took before he got bored of it, as princes do), he’s going to duel the killer of his lover to the death…the entire Yggdrasil Labyrinth.[/quote]

Thunderclap Fencer: Iseria (Created by alcharagia)

[quote]The third of seven noble sisters, Iseria is royalty of a small, matriarchal island nation whose primary export is politically arranged marriages to princesses.

Okay, actually, it’s its lucrative spice trade, but the joke is there among many traders who note the frequency with which the nation’s princesses are mailed out to become brides to other nations’ dashing royalty. They have a lot of them, relatively speaking, and you’d be surprised how many arranged marriages suddenly fall through.

Such was the story of Iseria’s marriage to a Prince Something-Or-Another, after his other betrothed died shortly before the marriage was made; King Something-Or-Another, father to the prior, had “a Dad moment, ahahaha!” and immediately went and got his son another lovely bride.

Struck hard by middle-child syndrome and hardly first in line for the throne, Iseria’s patriotism yet burns hot within her soul; she dons the ancient ritualistic garb of her peoples’ ancestors dating back hundreds of years at all times, and damn your sacrilege! A self-fashioned environmentalist, she has a history of disappearing for weeks at a time because she needed to take a swim off to another nearby island to “catalogue” its flora, fauna, and exactly how worth it it would be to declare it a part of their territory. She claims her all-green eye is proof positive that this is part of her lot in life.

Displeased by the marriage at first, Iseria was given the greatest of outs when Prince What’s-His-Name dashed gallantly off to the Labyrinth, of all places, to avenge his prior betrothed. Iseria, ever impulsive, was shortly behind; her goal in the Labyrinth, twofold.

First! Catalogue the greatest untouched biome in the ntire world, and do it in a way that nobody can deny your keen natural eye!

Second! Do not lie meekly down and become a sacrifice for another nation! Prince I-Can’t-Remember would not take Iseria as his wife- she would take him as her husband, and drag him back to Queensland to take the less-vaunted-but-still-important role of Vice-Queen!* She would become Queen and guide her great nation to even greater heights, or die trying in an environmentalist’s paradise!

[sub]*Vice-Queen is a gender-neutral title. “Kings” are as foreign an idea as a memorable Brownie character.[/sub][/quote]

Dragoon: Sasha (Submitted by Efe)

Cestus: Cecil (Submitted by BlackPersona)

[quote]Cecil was the third born son of his noble family, destined to never stand out from his elder brothers with regards to his inheritance. He was a listless youth that barely succeeded in anything they introduced him to. Fencing, art, mathematics, dancing, etiquette, nothing stuck to him… until they finally introduced him to music. It turned out he had a magnificent ear for music, and in no time at all he began to become a budding virtuoso. There was no instrument he could not work into a wonderful song, and, indeed, he was naturally proficient in every instrument he laid his hands on. As a young adult, he was already well known far and wide for all the music he composed. He was such a refined gentleman that he was always on demand for every royal dance and ball.

Unfortunately, on his way to yet another party, his caravan was attacked by a horde of Cutters and Bloodbears. Only Cecil managed to barely escape from the attack, with a scar across his chest to show for it. Ever since then, the world assumed that he was dead. They couldn’t be more wrong.

Ten years later, a man claiming to be the musical composer of old emerged from the forest, very much covered in bear blood and bear fur. He had a deranged eye and a rather booming voice, quite the contrary to the soft-spoken, slim Cecil of old. No one could get quite a straight answer from him - his answer changes every time they ask. However, there is without a doubt that he does have the same talent as the old Cecil, complete with composing music with his fists (Did you know punching the skull of a bear just right makes the same sound as C-Sharp minor?). And now he’s arrived in Aeolis to show off his art. Just… don’t let him get too into showing it off, because he might go into a frenzy.[/quote]

Reaper: Raven (Submitted by Dr. Fetus)

[quote]Tired of his home life and not being taken seriously, Raven set out to explore the Labyrinth to make a name for himself. He took one of his tools he frequently used at his home, and decorated it to make it seem shiny and cool. An awesome weapon means the wielder is awesome too, right? And can’t forget the awesome looking outfit too. But despite all his attempts to seem all cool and edgy, he comes off as pathetic or adorable to other people, much to his chagrin.

“I’m not a farmer! I’m the deadliest and coolest assassin around! …That happens to know a lot about crops and cute little animals-and why are you laughing!? Stop petting me on the head!”[/quote]

Warlock: Kaelin (Submitted by Aniodia)

[quote]Have you ever met someone who’s incredibly smug, for seemingly no reason? Not just smug, but so smug, you just want to punch them in the face? The kind of person who just oozes smugness from every pore, even if they’re not trying? That’s Kaelin. Born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he had everything he’s ever needed handed to him, the family servants only feeding more and more into his superiority complex. Even when he went into training as a warlock, it was all but a folly to him, nothing more than a minor dalliance to while away the time. The fact that he actually had the talent to back up his braggadocio took a couple of his classmates by surprise, but it was all fun and games for Kaelin.

When the city of Aeolis opened its gates to the multitudes of explorers’ guilds, Kaelin had spun a yarn about how he was going to be the first to the top, and how it was enough of a foregone conclusion that no one else should dare try. Only once his bluff was called did he realize the enormity of his task, and even then, the self-confident Lunarian walked with a swagger in his step the likes of which couldn’t be matched (or so he thought). Now if he could just avoid the rest of these commoners on his way to the top, he’d be all set.[/quote]

Necromancer: Lanzon (Submitted by Txn)

Hound: Gram (Submitted by mischievousart)

[quote]Gram’s always wanted to go on a grand adventure, but life seems to keep getting in her way. First, her parents needed help on the farm, then she was looking after her siblings and cousins, then there were children of her own, then GRANDchildren…

Now that everyone’s finally grown up and there’s other, younger people to put in charge, she’s finally taking the chance to follow her dream. Who needs a boring quiet retirement when you can have adventure? No stinking monsters or silly youngsters who want her to slow down are going to get in her way, you hear me? NONE.[/quote]

Masurao: Jana (Submitted by oB2Ko Mario)

Shaman: Mio (Submitted by Endorph)

[quote]Mio used to be a normal girl in a country called ‘Japan.’ In Japan, she was a nerdy student with few friends, poor grades, and few interests outside of her favorite games and buying fan-comics about fictional characters in romantic relationships. Truly, hers was a pitiable lot.

Until one day, in the middle of the night, her 3DS began to glow! Reaching out towards it, she brushed her fingers across the screen - and was sucked into the world of the game! Overwhelmed, outmatched, and out of her depth, she is forced to rely on the good will of those around her, hoping that the labyrinth will unveil the truth of why she was brought here, and give her a way to get back home. And also hoping that her guild is filled with cute boys.

… That’s her story, anyway. Nobody’s really sure if it’s true or not - or frankly, what she’s even talking about when she explains it. She might just be weird. True, she can actually kind of fight despite everything, but maybe she got bumped on the head during training. And she seems weirdly fascinated by all the non-Earthrun races, but she could just have a bit of exoticism going on. Either way, she tries not to go on too long about all that. Not that many people seem to buy it. She’s more than happy to go into great depth if someone does buy it, though! Especially, you know. A handsome man of about her age, maybe a little older.

Please buy it.[/quote]

Deeply Compassionate Doctor (Healer Herbalist): Dosen (Submitted by Level Seven)

[quote]There goes a legend of a treasure sleeping in the depths of the labyrinth. A treasure so great, mere words cannot describe it. A treasure that incredible led to Dosen trying (and failing) to sneak into the labyrinth long before it was officially open to the people. The one time he managed to make it inside, the first monster he ran into (or more accurately, an bird’s shadow) sent him running for his life. Realizing going alone would be crazy, he took the time to learn survival skills (he just read adventure novels). Now armed and ready with what medicinal knowledge he possesses (read: whatever was in that book he found in the trash last week), he’ll let others do all the hard fighting while he provides aide. Whatever it takes to get that legendary treasure.

Unfortunately, this so called legend came from his village’s drunkard, so maybe he should learn to stop believing everything people tell him.[/quote]

Innocent Poisoner (Smoke Herbalist): Magda (Submitted by Rangpur)

[quote]Born to a Lunarian clan who took astrology extremely seriously, Magda has an elaborate depiction of her star sign, the Dinogator (may he frolic forever in our hearts) tattooed on her back. To be born under such a sign marks one as an exceptionally dangerous warrior, a destiny the typically meek and unassuming Lunarian girl thoroughly failed to live up to until she bought a second-hand Smoke Herbalist starter kit from a passing Brownie caravan. Magda’s ancestral homestead is currently the thaumaturgical equivalent of a Superfund site, an incident she hotly denys was her fault, blaming it instead on ‘that gormless bint, who couldn’t tell the difference between (unpronounceable compound) and (equally unpronounceable compound, but with a silent ‘W’).’

Whatever the case, her family made it clear she should pursue her destiny… elsewhere. Anywhere, really, so long as it was very far away. And so she came to Arcadia. Truthfully, she’d much rather BE a Medic–hence the outfit, purchased secondhand from the same caravan. Unfortunately the closest she’s come so far is a poison so toxic it caused her patient to vomit out the tumors afflicting them. But if she has the chance to practice her craft under real-world conditions as part of the Nameless guild (who haven’t been around long enough to know of her reputation), surely her wish to become a great healer will be within reach, right? RIGHT?! Dinogator, spiritual patron of great destroyers, smiles knowingly.[/quote]

Ghosts: A, B, and C (“Submitted” by Poltergrift)

[quote]Just a note: imagine all this with the approximate emotional tone of Telenovela.

The ruined heiress Alicia Rosette was deeply in love with Barnaby, the “gentleman” thief, and abandoned her family and legacy to be with him, but Barnaby only wanted to use Alicia for her family’s inheritance and – once it became clear that she was no longer the favored candidate for family head – abandoned her for greener pastures and more fortunate ventures. Twisted with rage, Alicia contacted the sage Charlotte to learn the art of necromancy and obtain her revenge on Barnaby. The sage complied, but conditional on Alicia binding Barnaby’s ghost to the bones of his hands and feet, and bringing them to her – for a ghost made with such a grudge would become a powerful resource. Alicia agreed, and abandoned her family name and all but one letter of her first to the darkness, receiving further mastery of the necromantic arts; from then on, she was only known by her shadow name, “A.”

“A” hunted down her former lover; flush with wealth and drunk on his success in infiltrating the (then closed-off) Yggdrasil Labyrinth for rare, illegal medicinal herbs, Barnaby was known as the mysterious thief Monsieur “B” to the people of Aeolis. In the process of fighting his way through the Labyrinth, in order to combat the monsters, Monsieur “B” embedded vials of poison into the bones of his hands and wrists, allowing him to kill with a mere touch. Confronted by “A,” Monsieur “B” was chased, dismembered and killed by “A”'s phantasmal army, but – in the last moments of his life – managed to flick his embedded syringe out from his finger. Taking it in her triumph, to bind his ghost, “A” pricked herself, and received a slow, incurable dose of a rare and lethal Brownie poison.

Knowing her time was short, “A” took the bones of “B” to the sage Charlotte to fulfill her deal, in the hopes of receiving aid in waging war on the family that had rejected her. On arrival, however, her bound ghosts heard that Charlotte was a servant of her family, deployed in secret to ensure “B”'s death and trick “A” into returning gratefully to the Rosette family. Filled with rage and drunk on the death in her veins, “A” set her ghosts on Charlotte, detonating them, down to the essentia level, all at once, inside the sage’s meager hut. As they both lay dying, “A” took her revenge on “B” and Charlotte: she ripped away Charlotte’s name, to eternally prove her power over life of death, and bound all three of them together. Locked together, “A,” B" and “C,” necromantically entangled, forgetting themselves and their lives, remained in the ramshackle remains of the sage’s hut for thousands of years, all bound to their bony fingers – locked together forever.

Then a popular dancer found the pared-down bone bits, mistook them for dancer’s bangles and hooked them to his waist. He was not entirely thrilled to learn that there were ghosts living inside them.


blizzardvizard spent a day of Inktober to draw Jana, complete with magician’s top hat.

These were not part of Inktober, but are just as fantastic, nonetheless.

1 Like

A note for LPZone readers: This is an in-progress LP from Something Awful that I decided to start crossposting here! If you’re wondering who all the people mentioned in the character submissions are, those are goons who submitted characters when the LP was starting! Early parties and boss parties were also determined by voting in the thread there. When the next vote happens, I’ll count this place as well!

Also, as an aside, I really recommend getting familiar with the classes via the class updates before going too far into the LP. A lot of the updates from the 2nd Stratum on assume that you’re familiar with the classes by that point!

Finally: all of my updates are hosted on my own website due to my frustrations with BBcode limitations. You won’t be seeing update posts in this thread.

Hey, look, I finally got around to posting an update 12 days after I posted this here!

Let it never be said that I am a very punctual person.

I like this Stratum, I think it did a nice job at providing good reasons to travel at different times of day. Being able to avoid damage tiles (if you don’t have Levitate) was a compelling reason to travel at night… though that came at the cost of making the skeleton FOEs harder, or outright impossible to avoid.

Update 19 is here to spook you, what with the ghosts and skeletons.

Update 20. Zombie dog.

Just takin’ the time to say thanks for translating this game while we still have no idea when it’s coming out in english.

Update 21. I already used “You’re Not Supposed To Be Here” back in EO2U, so, uh…

Incidentally, look forward to EO2U finally hitting the LP Archive within a day or so (I think).

Not strictly related to EO5, but:

My old LP of Etrian Odyssey 2 Untold has been added to the LP Archive, for anyone who might not have been able to read the original live version on Something Awful.

Update 22. End of the 15th floor. You know what that means, right?


For the Undead King boss, I vote for Sasha- Gunpowder, Raven- Deathbringing, Mio- Love, and Dosen. Good luck.

In light of a successful test run, voting is closed.

[quote]My choice: 17
Raven Death-Bringing: 14
Lanzon Destroying: 11
Mio Love: 9

Sasha Adamantine: 6
Alexis: 6 (+2)
Sasha Gunpowder: 3
Cecil Combo: 2
Kaelin Ruler: 2
Dosen: 2
Gram Falcon: 1 (+6)
Jana Single: 1
Kaelin Master: 1
Iseria: 1[/quote]

The Undead King party is:

Alexis/Raven, Lanzon/Gram/Mio.

(For future reference, both votes from here and SA are counted.)

Update 23. Card games. Also the Undead King boss fight.

The undead king could totally be THE FORBIDDEN GOD CARD.

Update 24. See the title.

Update 25. I’m actually not that big a fan of Earthworm Jim. MDK’s pretty good though.

Update 26. Goat-kun forever.

I apologize for the two-week delay, but I was busy with Persona 5 when I wasn’t busy with constant fucking end-of-semester deadlines.

Also Clarste and alcharagia were busy with P5 too.

(as is I’m pretty sure law somewhere, I am mandated to state my choice of romance in P5: Futaba)

Update 27. Honestly not sure why I enabled exception handlers when I’m not gonna be doing any debugging on my recording 3DS. Actually, I don’t expect anything to crash at all, really.

Update 28. Contains Atlus recognizing a fairly long-standing, international EO meme.

I think I love those squirrels. They are schadenfreude incarnate and it’s great.