“Okay then. Back in action!”
“Good eve-…”
“…”
“Um…would you mind taking your helmet off?”
“Oh? Sorry. It’s so comfortable I usually forget I have it on.”
“Yeah, thank you.”
“What can I get you, miss…?”
“Master Specialist, Sei P. Asagiri of the 765th Division Valkyrie Corps at your service!”
“Wait…that’s too long. Just call me Sei.”
“What can I get for you, Sei?”
“Let’s see…I’m in the mood for a sweet drink. Oh! But not “sweet” as in “cool”…”
“…although a cool drink would be nice too. Um…but not “cool” as in “great” and especially not as in “big”.”
“More so since I have to get up early tomorrow and I can’t afford a hangover.”
“Um…sorry, did you get that?”
“A sweet drink. Preferably a cold one that’s not too big. Right?”
“Yeah! That’s it!”
“I can do that. Give me a sec.”
As it turns out, a Moonblast fits that description perfectly.
“Aaaaaah yes, this is just what I needed. Thanks!”
“We don’t get many White Knights as clients. I can only remember one other, in fact.”
“You said you’re from the Valkyrie corps, right? Are you the guys who deal with riots and such?”
“Riots…? Oh! Nonono… You’re thinking of the Blitzkrieg corps. The ones with huge plated suits, right?”
“Yeah, those.”
“No, we’re different people. I mean…obviously we are different people. But we don’t deal with riots or anything.”
“In fact, you could say we deal with their aftermath.”
“How so?”
“To rescue, heal and protect! We are the angels who soothe those suffering enemy attack!”
“We are the light of hope in the darkest of times, the ones who assist the victims of crime!”
“We watch, we protect.”
“Um…what was that?”
“Sorry, it’s sort of our pledge of allegiance; we recite it every morning.”
“What it means is our duties mostly include rescuing civilians, healing the injured, and protecting them from…stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?”
“Burglars, rapists, car crashes, anything that might happen on our watch.”
“You mentioned “heal”. Are you a doctor then?”
“Nah. I know many doctors, but I’m not one. I’m more of a paramedic. I treat people so they can arrive safely at a doctor.”
“I’m also kinda like a firefighter in that I sometimes rescue people from places.”
“Damn, that must be a tough job.”
“Sort of, but it’s also really rewarding.”
“I mean, I’ve yet to meet somebody that ISN’T glad to see me when I arrive.”
“You must’ve seen some shocking sights.”
“Yeah! This one time, when I was saving some people from the top of a collapsing building…”
“I looked down and was blown away by how pretty the city was! It was like a starry sky on Earth!”
“Oh! And there was this time we were cleaning up the aftermath of a car crash. Water was pouring out of a hydrant.”
“With the lights and scattered pieces of glass, it was all almost dream-like.”
“T-That’s not what I meant by “shocking sights”.”
“No? But those are sights…and they’re shocking, right?”
“Yeah, but…nevermind.”
“Wait…did I mishear you and you actually meant “sighs”?”
“I mean, sure.”
“I’ve suffered the deepest, longest and most frustrated sighs from people after everything’s said and done but…”
“Don’t worry, you didn’t mishear. I guess I was just expecting a different kind of answer.”
“What kind of answer?”
“Don’t…worry too much about it.”
“You finished your drink - can I get you anything else?”
“Hm… Something classy. A classy drink.”
“Can you be more specific?”
“Don’t make it too big. Does that work?”
“Sorry, I don’t come to bars very often. My drinks usually come in a can.”
“No problem. Don’t worry. A classy drink, right? Let’s see what I can find for you.”
“Yup, this looks like something Stella would drink.”
“Who?”
“She’s my dearest friend. Not that I don’t have others, but she’s the one I’ve known the longest.”
“She likes these kind of drinks, so I wanted to see what’s so special about them.”
“And what do you think?”
“I was expecting something…stronger. I like it quite a bit.”
“Say, Miss Bartender, what’s your name?”
“Hm?”
“You know my name, now I wanna know yours.”
“Oh sure, just call me Jill.”
“Jill…hm…Jill…”
“Jill is short for…Jillian! No, that’s not right.”
“…”
“Jillian…Ju…Julianne!”
“Do. NOT. Call me Julianne, please.”
“…!”
“…”
“sigh Sorry about that.
No, please excuse me. I didn’t want to anger you.”
“Um…but why don’t you like being called by your full name?”
“It’s a stupid reason. Don’t dwell too much on that.”
“Oh, ok. I still feel bad about angering you, though.”
“Why?”
“Because you look like a nice girl, Jill, and I don’t like angering nice people.”
“If it helps somehow, I really like this place.”
“That…actually helps. You’re the first person to say something nice today, thanks.”
“What do you like about it?”
“The smell of dog urine and soap!”
“…”
“My mom used to be a veterinarian, and I used to go to her clinic after school, so the smell takes me back.”
“It makes me feel…comfy and nostalgic.”
“ahem What made you become a White Knight instead of a veterinarian or…anything else?”
“Well, I was never a good student, so studying medicine of any kind was out of the question.”
“That aside, it’s mostly because of something that happened while I was a kid.”
“A White Knight attacked my friend and was coming for me when this other White Knight saved us.”
“I don’t remember what happened next. I just woke up in a hospital with my friend watching over me.”
“I mean, it wasn’t a prophetic moment or anything like that. But ever since then I felt this was my calling.”
“That I wanted to help people the same way they helped me.”
“Huh…it’s interesting though: one would think being attacked by a White Knight would make you run the opposite direction.”
“Yeah, but it was another one that saved me.”
“So I kinda guide myself toward judging everything on an individual basis.”
“Well, not to an extremist extent, but…you get me.”
“Yeah. I try to do the same too.”
“Why join the Valkyrie corps specifically though?”
“Because I wanted to rescue people from dire situations whenever possible.”
“And going into patrols and all that felt too tiresome.”
“It’s also the one with the least paperwork involved.”
“Now that I think about it, there are different kinds of White Knights, right?”
“I guess “White Knight” is too broad a term.”
“There’s not one specific type - there are many different classes. Rescue, assault…”
“There’s even a squad full of bureaucrats.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, they get assigned to companies to handle the accounting and that kind of stuff.”
“People usually ask for them because they speed up processes.”
“But a few are assigned when a company is suspected of having weird, under-the-table deals.”
“Interesting.”
“There was also a squad dedicated to fighting school bullying.”
“They were doing a nice job, but the “fad” of anti-bullying campaigns passed and they lost their funding.”
“I believe some members still work anti-bullying cases in an unofficial capacity.”
“That’d be nice…I think.”
“Can I get you anything else?”
“I don’t know if I should. I can’t afford that many drinks. And besides, I don’t really know how much alcohol I can handle.”
“Yeah, I can see that.”
“Yup, I’m gonna stop here today. Thanks for the chat, Jill.”
“Sure, no problem.”
“Bye!”
“Come again.”
“Wait! You forgot your…helmet.”
“She’s gone…”
“Whoa!”
“Gil, did the ammonia make you go nuts?!”
“There was this time in Zanzibar when that almost happened. In any case, I’ll go check that noise.”
???: “What…?”
(“Oh, she woke up.”)
“Good evening and welcome to Valhalla.”
(“That might not have been the best thing to say.”)
“V-Valhalla? Am I dead?”
“D-Does that mean that Uncle Ingus’ ramblings about the afterlife looking like a shoddy downtown bar are true?”
(“Called it!”)
“Afterlife?”
“I’m not dead?”
“As far as I can tell? No.”
“To be fair, I don’t know how death or the afterlife work exactly, but you’re breathing, right?”
“…!!”
“…”
“…alright, then where the hell am I?”
“How did I get here?! Who brought me here?! What were you planning to do with me?!”
“Are you organ traffickers?! Robbers?! Rapists?! Pickpockets?! You’re pickpockets, aren’t you?!”
“W-W-Why aren’t you saying anything?!”
“I’m just waiting for you to vent your worries. Otherwise you’ll just…”
Sexual assault mention
“You’re rapists, aren’t you?! RAPISTS! THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU!!”
“You wanna tear my clothes, beat me unconscious, have your horrible way with me and then brutally murder me, don’t you?!”
“All while still violating every hole in my body as I lay there twitching, DON’T YOU?!”
Sexual assault mention
As to why this is framed comedically…I’ve got no clue, folks. But it’s bad. Real bad. This game handles sensitive subjects very, very clumsily, as we’ll see in future updates.
“MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER”
“…interrupt me.”
(“Well, this is going nowhere, let’s see if I can get her a drink to calm her down…or to throw at her face.”)
“A drink. You’re in a bar. Bars serve drinks.”
“A… Bar?”
“So I figure I should give you something to help you calm down. Don’t worry, it’s on the house.”
“To “calm down”? What did you spice it up with? Roofies? TTX? Pumpkins?”
“G-God no…I wouldn’t even think of it.”
“Your stuttering makes you suspicious, you know?”
“If I ever added anything like that to your drink, they’d dock my pay and tips.”
“Not to mention I’d have to pay any lawsuits myself.”
“And that’s the best case scenario. I could get fired and lose benefits or go to jail.”
“And trust me, the BTC LOVES to catch anyone who commits that particular felony.”
“They’d show themselves all proud for a hefty PR boost.”
“And the thought of going through all that is just…”
“BRRRRRRRR”
“Even if you say that…”
“Let’s do something.”
“If you go outside, and head just three businesses to the left, you’ll find a convenience store.”
“They sell drug tests for drinks. Tell the cashier that Dana Zane sent you.”
“Any damage?”
“A hole in the street, dunno about the drivers or anything.”
“I see.”
“Either way, I think I’m done here.”
“Did you check inside the toilet paper’s locker?”
“How?! Why?! W-How?!”
“Did you have to pay?”
“No…”
“No problem then. Try it on the drink.”
“…”
“Says negative.”
“There you go.”
“But you could be in cahoots with the clerk at the store. He even knew your name!”
“Good point, but first of all: It’s not my name. It’s my boss’.”
“Second, we are pretty much part of a chain. Sorta like the Spicy Chicken of bars.”
“And finally, I’m not making you drink this. I offered it to you as a sign of peace.”
“I mean, you ARE right. It IS indeed suspicious on my part. Sorry.”
“You can just ignore the drink, go through that door, and forget this ever happened.”
“That would be it. You’re at peace and nothing of value would be lost.”
“…”
“Are you implying something won’t have value because I ignored it?”
“Are you saying my presence is so unimportant that my lack of action will yield no difference?!”
“E-Eh?”
“And what about the drink?! Are you gonna let this fruit of your work go to waste so easily?!”
“No, I…”
“Well, I’ll let you know that I’m not that unimportant and that your work does matter!”
“Um…not sure you should drink it all so fast.”
“…”
“So, how was it?”
“Hm…”
“It was fine, but not something I’d order normally.”
“…”
“Are you alright?”
“…yeah. I guess you were telling the truth. Sorry about that.”
“No problem. If I were you, I’d have probably reacted the same way.”
“I should apologize for my last comment too, it came out as insensitive.”
“I guess I’ll stay for a while; I need to get my thoughts in order.”
“Can you tell me how I got here?”
“My boss found you unconscious and brought you here for safekeeping.”
“Aaaaand you were asleep until that car crash outside.”
“I-I see…”
“I guess it’s better to wake up here than on the streets, stripped of clothes, dignity, and/or organs.”
“…”
“How did you fall unconscious? Were you tired? Sick?”
“I guess I’m sick…but I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Of course.”
“…I’ll tell you what. Your drinks are on the house tonight.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Consider it an apology on behalf of everyone here for all the trouble we’ve caused you.”
“Also, something tells me you might need another drink right now.”
“Yeah, you might be right.”
“Okay then, I’ll take you on your offer. I’ll have a Piano Man.”
“Will you be fine?”
“Yeah, I just gulped the last one, so I wanna enjoy this one.”
“Coming right up then.”
“Yeah. This is the one.”
“My dad used to drink these until an actual pianist attempted to kill him.”
“What did he do? Your dad, I mean. To provoke the pianist like that.”
“Wrong place at the wrong time, I guess.”
“He was relaxing in a bar when suddenly the pianist leapt off the stage and started punching him.”
“Some say he was off his meds and that my dad looked like some music critic that had bashed him.”
“I still hold my stance that he just got too excited. Jazz does that to you.”
“I see…”
“The Piano Man has an interesting story.”
“It was originally created by a bartender in honor of a pianist friend of his that had just passed.”
“Apparently, it mixes all the flavors said friend liked the most.”
“Oh, that’s nice.”
“So this is how it feels to go for a drink at the end of a long hard day at work.”
“I’m not sure if I like the fact that I’m falling into that.”
“Where do you work? Miss…”
“Call me Kim.”
“I don’t know if I can say “work” yet, though. I’m still just an intern.”
“Can I ask where?”
“Have you heard of a newspaper called “The Augmented Eye”?”
“I read it every morning. In fact, Donovan D. Dawson was here earlier.”
“…I knew I smelled his nasty cologne.”
“That bastard leaves his reek wherever he goes.”
“So, you believe me?”
“I do.”
“God, you have no idea how much I hate that chauvinistic horseblower.”
“pffft ahem”
“Harsh words…”
“The worst part is that I kind of admire the way he does stuff.”
“He’s so forceful about the things he wants that people have done it before they realize what’s going on.”
“He even got a pizza delivery boy to work server maintenance.”
“A full week passed before the pizza shop asked where the hell he was.”
“And would you believe it? The guy became decent at server maintenance, despite having no previous experience.”
“It’s kinda admirable, but at the same time I hate his guts! UGH!”
“Knowing that I have to work for him, it’s…AGH!”
“Why are you working there, then?”
“…”
“Did I ask something I shouldn’t have?”
“N-No, don’t fret about it. I’d rather not talk about it, though.”
“Fair enough.”
“What’s your name, bartender?”
“Call me Jill.”
“Is it hard to be a bartender, Jill?”
“I guess it’s as hard as being a cook somewhere.”
“You keep going through the motions while trying to provide something of quality.”
“All while answering the whimsy of people’s orders.”
“I think the hardest part is dealing with the chemical hazards some people might leave behind. Why?”
“At one point I thought about being a bartender…”
“…but I was afraid they’d make me wear skimpy clothes and dance or something.”
(“Here we go again…”)
“Well, it depends on where you start working, you know?”
“I guess I was lucky Valhalla didn’t end up being a tacky disco overseen by a DJ with an afro.”
“My boss just wanted a comfy place, I think.”
“Your boss sounds like an interesting person. What with wanting to put me somewhere safe and all that.”
“She is! She’s so cool and collected, but has no qualms about showing excitement about stuff.”
“Sure, she’s been a bit tense the last couple of days…”
“But even then, when you’re with her everything just feels under control.”
“She also has this mechanical arm. I have no idea how she got it, but…”
“…heh.”
“…”
“…sorry, I got carried away.”
“It was fun to see you break the “wise bartender” character you’re using here.”
(“I do that?”)
“It’d be nice to meet this boss of yours sometime and thank her.”
“Shall I call her? She’d be glad to know you’re okay.”
“Oh no, I shouldn’t pester her that way.”
“And besides, it’s getting late and I don’t want to abuse your generosity.”
“You can ask for another one, although I don’t know how much alcohol you can handle.”
“I think I can handle another drink. One Brandtini, please.”
“Coming right up.”
“Yup, this seems like the stuff.”
“Cheers!”
“Hey Jill, was this job, like, a lifelong dream or something?”
“Not really. It just kinda happened.”
“One thing led to another and BAM, bartending.”
“Do you regret not fulfilling a dream?”
“The only dream I can remember being passionate about was buying a Model Warrior Julianne arcade machine.”
“Can’t say I’ve given up on that one yet. But alas, adult stuff needs to be paid for first.”
“You’ve never had a dream you wanted to chase?”
“Not really. I mean, most of my dreams have been silly things or childish dreams.”
“Childish dreams?”
“Having a room where every piece of furniture talks, being a Model Warrior…”
“OH! Childish dreams, yeah.”
“I remember I wanted to live in a Koi pond when I was seven. The fish seemed to be having a blast to me.”
“So, no dreams?”
“None that I felt particularly motivated to chase, no.”
“I mean, I’m fascinated by AIs, but I just couldn’t find it in me to study that.”
“So, I picked something I found nice and moved on.”
“And somewhere along the way, I became a bartender.”
“I see…”
“FINALLY.”
“I mean, how the hell did they throw toilet paper out of the window?!”
“…oh, a client. Good night ma’am.”
“Sure.”
“Um…who was he?”
“A ghost. Nobody you should worry about.”
“Oh…”
“I HEARD THAT!”
“Why were you asking all those questions?”
“Because now that I think about it, I don’t really have a dream job or anything like that.”
“I think we idealize the idea of a dream job too much.”
“Not everyone walks around with a clear idea of what they want in life.”
“Some take a liking to a job, others find it after many failed attempts.”
“Sometimes life takes an unexpected turn that makes you change your plans…”
“…”
“…what I mean is: Don’t worry too much about it.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“Well, I’m gonna take my leave now. Thank you for everything.”
“Thank you and come again.”
“And that’s it.”
“Seems like it.”
“Where’s Gil? And…where’s the girl that was here?”
“Gil cleaned the bathroom and left because he stank.”
“Kim woke up, had a couple of drinks, and left.”
“So she’s called Kim.”
“How did she look to you? How was she?”
“She was freaked out when she woke up, but she managed to calm down.”
“…”
“Are you worried about her?”
“Wouldn’t you be?”
“I don’t know.”
“Hey Boss, do you feel like calling you “Boss” is too impersonal?”
“Hm? Not really, no.”
“It’s not like you call me that because I’m a stranger. Just out of habit.”
“Oh…”
“Anyway, you’re free to go after you finish washing up the glasses.”
“Let me transfer you today’s payment. Maybe I’ll give Gil a small bonus for dealing with the bathroom.”
