“All done.”
“Fresh air does wonders for you.”
???: “I insist that it sounds like dynamite.”
???: “No, it was too long to be dynamite. It sounded more like some heavy-duty tool.”
???: “You’re a heavy duty tool.”
???: “Yes, I am.”
???: “Wait, that…dammit!”
“Oh, welcome back.”
“Hey, bartender. What did that noise just now sound like to you?”
“I say it sounds like construction, but Betty here says it’s dynamite or something like that.”
“Not you too…”
“Eh? Do you think it’s dynamite then?”
“What? No, I say it’s a backfire.”
“It’s a gunshot.”
“Firecrackeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers!”
“sigh See? Those sounds have been going on all night and we can’t figure out what they are.”
“Well, we aren’t here to discuss that. We’re here to…”
“Um…who is he?”
“Gillian. Nice to meet you.”
“I don’t know, you have more of a John face.”
“Where was he last weekend?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t care. He already made amends for leaving me to fend off all those dogs.”
“Anyway, what do you want?”
“Beer.”
“Oh, what the hell. I’ll have a beer too.”
“Two Beers coming right up.”
“Thank you.”
“Man, after-work Beer is always the best Beer.”
“Yeah.”
“So tell me, bartender…”
“Just call me Jill.”
“Jill? That’s a nice name.”
“How’s business lately?”
“As usual.”
“Wait, I guess you don’t really know what “usual” means for us.”
“Um…we’re not the kind to be filled to the brim during rush hours and we don’t have that many regulars.”
“So…it’s just the same. Nothing’s changed.”
“I guess when we came here with all the dogs, it was quite the change of pace, huh?”
“You have no idea.”
“So, what brings you here today?”
“I suggested coming here after work.”
“It’s Friday. A drink to kick off the weekend is one of those little things that makes life worthwhile.”
“But he did only suggest it after I found him hugging a stuffed Corgi in his office.”
“A…stuffed Corgi?”
“A plushie. Not an overfed dog.”
“I see…”
“Wait, you have an office?”
“Yeah, what’s weird about that?”
“I thought you’d have a cubicle…or a kennel.”
“A kennel…”
“I mean, you don’t hear much about office boys getting their own offices.”
“It’s not hard, considering the rest of the staff don’t use chairs or tables. Even I have my own office.”
“I don’t know about that. The mess they left in the bathroom usually requires someone with thumbs.”
“Chairs and tables seem like lesser evils.”
“And you’re the veterinarian after all…”
“A kennel…”
“What about a kennel?”
“I don’t know, I just thought it’d be cute if one day I went to work and they had one waiting for me.”
“Like they saw me as one of them.”
“…”
“So…w-where did you get that plushie?”
“Oh, I gave it to him.”
“It was my gift last Mega Christmas.”
“Wait…so he got defensive over being caught hugging a gift you gave him?”
“That’s the funniest part. He acted like I didn’t know he had it.”
“I was just glad he was enjoying it, you know?”
“Why are you two talking like I’m not here?”
“Because you’re not giving any input anyway.”
“So, how’s stuff up at Doglandia?”
“Well, we recently struck a deal with Farmer Fabrics to start a doggie clothing line.”
“Farmer Fabrics? That name rings a bell…”
“It’s that textile company where the owner believes herself to be an alpaca.”
“Oh…yeah. That one.”
“We had her here some time ago. She got drunk and…”
“…so much saliva everywhere.”
“Oh…”
“B-But anyway, dog clothes?”
“We hired a new employee and she showed the higher ups some designs.”
“After a couple of talks, they decided to give the clothing production a try.”
“Those designs were embarrassing, you know?”
“But something tells me that’s why they were approved.”
“You guys want anything else?”
“I’ll have whatever this guy orders.”
“Let’s see…I’ll have a Brandtini.”
“Two Brandtinis then.”
“You have such a…wimpy taste in drinks, Deal.”
“Not all of us spent their weekends in college partying like maniacs.”
“Actually, not all of us went to college.”
“You missed nothing. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and kick myself.”
“Hm…”
“Something on your mind?”
“That girl that’s designing the clothes…”
“Laura? What about her?”
“She’s cute, but she should take more care in her appearance.”
“I mean, right now she fits the “unkempt cutie” category so well that it’s almost painful.”
“It’s so cliched that I can’t help but cringe when looking at her.”
“Cringe?”
“It’s like when you see something that’s such a cheesy movie cliche…”
“…you just feel the need to kick whatever the hell it is.”
“K-Kick?”
“Betty, I didn’t think I’d have to say this to you twice in the same month but…you shouldn’t kick people.”
“I wasn’t gonna kick her. Why’d you think I’d kick her?”
“Because I’ve seen you kick people before.”
“Apparently unprovoked or due to complicated reasons only you understand.”
“Fine. Guilty as charged.”
“Still, I’m gonna do something about her. I feel like I just need to.”
“It’s a matter of honor.”
“Honor, she says…”
“Well, maybe honor isn’t the right word.”
“But she has potential and I’m not going to let her waste it.”
“She’s your boss, right?”
“Didn’t you meet her before?”
“Nope, I’m just the veterinarian. The dogs were the ones that organized a meeting with her.”
“I’d say she’s really good looking. But honestly, those pants rob her of her charm.”
“What do you mean?”
“They make her look too uptight…and at a glance, she doesn’t seem like the type.”
“Some shorts or a skirt would fit her better.”
“Hm…”
“Well, she wears a skirt or pants depending on her mood.”
“There was also this one time where she came in wearing a kilt.”
“That kilt was awesome!”
(“Damn, she has nice hearing.”)
“Now that I think about it…”
“You have that hobby of speculating what someone’s personality is like based just on their looks.”
“I mean, you did the same with Jill here.”
“Amazing, you actually made that sound weird as hell.”
“Yes, I have the habit of trying to guess someone’s behavior based on their looks.”
“No, it’s not a hobby. You made that sound like I’m some sort of creep.”
“I-I did?”
“What did you think about me?”
“Nothing much, really. Mostly that you were too polite.”
“Not a natural polite, though. More like a professional polite. You’re like that because you need to be.”
“That was it, really.”
“Although the way you looked at me when I said your boss could use a skirt or shorts was interesting.”
“You seemed…interested in what I said. Like you’d like to see that scenario.”
“You’re thinking too much.”
“What do you think about Gil, then?”
“Hm…”
“…”
“Hmhm…”
“He’s either a total simpleton or acts like one in a way that consumes the rest of his character.”
“Heh…heheh…yeah…”
“But anyway, I’m just a veterinarian.”
“My judgement might be clouded by seeing so many furry businessmen.”
“Let’s have another round.”
“Sounds like a good idea. I’ll have…”
“You’ll have something strong. You need to pump some testosterone into your taste in drinks.”
Why do I feel like this line would become even worse if it was written in 2018?
“You’ll thank me later. Trust me.”
“Then…”
“Two strong drinks. Manly drinks. I don’t care which ones.”
“Well…”
“You shut up.”
“Now, drink.”
“…”
“Nf…”
“Oh, man up. You’ll get used to it.”
“Hey Jill, has someone ever proposed to you as a prank?”
“…”
“You know, make you think they’re falling in love with you just to reveal that it was all a prank.”
“…”
“Jill?”
“First year of high school. The guy I had my eyes on for a whole year had asked me out.”
“Saturday morning, I go to the meeting place. What do I find? It was all a prank by some bitches.”
“Ouch…”
“Sorry, I-…”
“The worst part isn’t that they set me up, but rather that I saw it coming.”
“I knew that guy wouldn’t find me attractive enough to ask me out.”
“I knew those bitches would target me sooner or later just for kicks.”
“I knew it all, so when it all happened I felt nothing.”
“They confirmed my suspicions that teenagers are a plague that must be eradicated.”
“…”
“…”
“Anyway, why the question?”
“…hey, piece o’ scrap.”
“Yeah?”
“These are the situations where you should’ve stopped me before I said anything.”
“It’s better to learn by tripping yourself.”
“Why the question, though?”
“U-Um…”
“I was asking because one of my exes’ cousins has been hitting on me the past couple of days.”
“If it were somebody else, I’d pretend to be straight with the help of this piece o’ scrap here.”
“Sadly, she knows who I am.”
“Worst part is, knowing Vero, she probably put her cousin up to it as a practical joke.”
“Well, I’d suggest telling the cousin that she should cut it out.”
“If she feels genuinely offended, they might not have been in cahoots.”
“But I’m just spouting nonsense based on what you’ve told me. Don’t pay too much attention.”
“It’s better than my suggestion.”
“What was yours?”
“Waterboarding.”
“I se-…what?”
“The fact that she knows how to waterboard somebody is what scares me most.”
“The Girl Scouts also taught me how to skin a deer, and I see nobody making a fuss about that.”
“But yeah, your advice sounds good enough.”
“Especially if you factor that if Gina’s being honest about her, she probably won’t feel offended.”
“Gina… Which one was that again?”
“Blonde, flat as a cutting board but cute as a button.”
“Oh yeah…she came to the office Christmas party, right?”
“That’s the one.”
“Well, it’s getting late. We should be going.”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you again for everything, Jill.”
“Please come again.”
“Those damned cats moving the internet antenna…”
“Oh yeah, Gil. Some guy said I should tell you that “the bunny’s late”…whatever that means.”
“Shouldn’t we be worried?”
“Think of him as a kid that tells outrageous stories to get attention and everything will be easier.”
“Besides, he knows how to take care of himself.”
“Yeah.”
“He’ll be here on Monday like nothing ever happened.”
“Ah, Stella. You’re here for another drink today?”
“Not really. I was just around the neighborhood, and…”
(“Right…”)
“A-Anyway, I found this bottle being neglected at my house.”
“And I thought someone who likes old liquor as much as you would appreciate it.”
“Really? I-I don’t know what to say. Thanks!”
“Well, it’s nothing, really…”
“Hm?”
“The Apollo Trust bank has locked its doors, leaving about 30 people trapped inside.”
“The security system was activated after somebody tried to steal information from the main database.”
“Early this morning, the bank…”
“…”
“I wonder if she’ll be alright…”
“Ah, hello Jamie.”
“Did you see the news about the Apollo Trust bank?”
“The newsflash just ended.”
“Sounds like things got ugly.”
“From what I heard, there was a commotion earlier today.”
“Something about people being unable to leave the building.”
“Let’s hope for the best.”
“Yeah.”
“Gil stormed off just a minute ago, though.”
“I see. I guess the bunny was late.”
(“He definitely knows what’s going on.”)
“What can I get you?”
“Give me a Marsblast.”
“Coming right up.”
“Yeah, this is the one.”
“Marsblasts have always seemed poorly named to me. Shouldn’t it be red instead of yellow-ish?”
“Then again, the whole “Red Planet” thing is still its nickname.”
“So, how have you been doing?”
“I was working a contract, actually.”
“But the target’s inside the Apollo Trust bank. Figured I’d simply leave him be for now.”
“And then you came for a drink.”
“Yeah.”
“A part of me wants to ask who your target is, but I’m guessing it’s a secret.”
“I can tell you that it appears to be part of a power struggle somewhere.”
“Has a target ever made you a counteroffer to go after the one that sent you?”
“They usually don’t live long enough. I also don’t like it when a target who’s seen my face manages to survive.”
“…”
“What happened?”
“N-Nothing, I just suddenly thought…what if someone sent you after me?”
“I’d reject the contract.”
“You would?”
“I don’t ask the name of many people, you know. And I always remember those whose names I’ve asked.”
“They’re real in my eyes.”
“I like to know them better and, to some extent, I care about them.”
“I need that because otherwise…”
“Otherwise?”
“…nothing you should concern yourself with.”
“But don’t worry. Unless you suddenly find yourself caught in the middle of a power struggle…”
“The only way I see you becoming tangled in that kind of mess is if you find yourself too involved with gangs.”
“Thanks for the advice…I guess.”
“Still, the thought of people hiring others to kill somebody is…”
“I can’t wrap my head around that, and I don’t want to either.”
“The world can be a dark place, Jill.”
“Say…do you think the people in the bank will be alright?”
“This isn’t the first time a bank has closed like that, but something is…off about this.”
“Off? How?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s the hour. Maybe it’s the fact that the news is making an unusually big stink out of it.”
“Let’s hope I’m just overthinking it.”
“Yeah.”
“Are you worried about something?”
“A girl that was in here yesterday said she was going to that bank.”
“It’s not like me to be personally invested in what happens to clients, but…”
“Nevermind. Do you want something else?”
“Yeah, I can make time for one more drink.”
“Fetch me a Beer. Let’s keep it simple.”
“Sure.”
“I once read that Beer played an important part in humanity’s history.”
“Yeah, I’m familiar with the theory. It’s an interesting one.”
“The gist of it is that brewing was an important part of society during its development.”
“Drinks were ubiquitous while feasting. They helped to foster bonds and build faction alliances.”
“Given enough time and enough Beer, larger societies would be born.”
“You seem to know a lot about this.”
“Nah, just enough.”
“Last time you came, you mentioned something about going haywire.”
“What did you mean? I’m intrigued.”
“Have you ever felt like your sanity has slipped right by you?”
“Well, a client earlier today was driving me nuts, but aside from that…no.”
“Truth be told, neither have I. But I’m afraid of it happening.”
“How so?”
“I don’t know. I just have the lingering fear that at some point I won’t be myself.”
“I’ll go crazy, I’ll wake up a stranger to myself and I won’t care…”
“It’s just an irrational fear that lingers in me and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“Like the fear of cockroaches for some people.”
“Only instead of fearing a crawling nuisance, you fear lunacy…”
“Something like that.”
“Sometimes I wonder if uploading my brain would solve all those problems.”
“Well, that technology is still a ways off.”
“I’ve heard of a couple of experiments regarding the technology, but it seems everything’s still too buggy.”
“I’ll have to wait until it’s safe, then…”
“Until then, don’t worry too much about those possibilities unless they’re tangible enough.”
“Otherwise, you’re no better than a hypochondriac.”
“Good point.”
“The way you said it makes it sound less like something you feel might happen.”
“Something you’re just afraid COULD happen at some point.”
“That’s pretty much it, yeah.”
“Doesn’t that make you saner? I mean…”
“Were you really on your way to becoming an unhinged maniac, I don’t know if you’d think about it at all.”
“Hm…you might have a point there.”
“Well then. Nice talking to you, Jill.”
“Same here. Always a pleasure.”
“Please come again.”
“Phew…all done.”
“Thanks, but I’ll pass. I have a couple of matters to attend to at home.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, I ordered a Nanocamo module for my apartment. It should be installed by now.”
“Nanocamo? Isn’t that a tad expensive?”
“Yup. To be honest I asked my mom for it.”
“She had been pestering me about what gift I wanted for Mega Christmas for a while.”
“She’s been asking that for four years now and I’ve always said I was fine.”
“So I…took the chance and asked her for it. Used up all the past gifts.”
“Oh.”
“Feels a bit weird to ask your parents for a gift like that when you’re 27.”
“I’m sure she doesn’t mind.”
“So, what will the Nanocamo module change from your apartment?”
“I got the basic plan: Walls and one piece of cloth. So I picked my kotatsu too.”
“You have a kotatsu?”
Nerd.
“You know what a kotatsu is, Boss?”
“I’m more impressed you know what it is.”
“I mean, futons are common knowledge, but a kotatsu…not so much.”
“Yeah, well. Days get cold and the heater might not be enough.”
“And the Japanese have mastered how to live comfortably in reduced spaces.”
“You should invite me sometime, I wanna see how you decorate the place with that.”
“Let’s plan a day to grab a Beer, yeah.”
“Well, I gotta go.”
“See you tomorrow, Boss.”
“Careful out there.”
