The Cool Crime of Robbery: Let's Play Persona 5


Part 168

Part 168: 12/7: Taking Out The Trash

When last we left off, Shido was only one letter of introduction away from being completely undermined. But I’m suuuuure those Phantom Thieves won’t get any further. That would be just impossible.

Also worth noting: we’re officially done with Hallway Simulator 2017. Thank fuck.

Music: Ark

Just that cleaner dude left then. Wanna go cause a scene somewhere and lure him out?
As I’ve already said, we should avoid doing that if we can.
But we’ve gone everywhere on the map. Is there any place we haven’t checked yet…?

Hm? I don’t recall ever passing by such a place.
Wait, I found something… The engine room. Remember how you were wondering about that smoke earlier, Skull?
Oh yeah… Where was that?

Back down on the main level of the side deck, the thieves find this vent.

I’m getting a reading from inside, but I can’t tell if it’s him.
Huh? We ain’t gonna be able to get in like this. You wanna try forcin’ it open, Joker?

OK, let’s do it!

But his men are with him too. Exiting here will land us directly in front of them. There will be no chance of escape at that point. What do you think, Joker?

Very well. We shall jump in!

I said you’re off the hook, didn’t I? You got guts, bro.
Crap, this guy might be just a cognition, but he’s damn scary!
I’m too busy to deal with you punks now. I’ll be leavin’ that to my men here.

This fight is just more Baphomets and is therefore a complete joke. Melchizedek has Mahamaon and can thus instakill all of them in a single turn. Get some better henchmen. I am of course referring to the cleaner, not Shido. That would be absurd, as Shido is perfect. Shido cannot fail, he can only be failed.

Look, over there!

Dammit, we’re not lettin’ him escape! Let’s take that letter by force if we gotta!

Bead Chain and a Diamond, not terrible.

Our target appears to be within this room. We have cornered him thus far, so let us look for a way inside.

They’re holed up in this room…

Agh, dammit! He locked the door!
This won’t do. We can’t exactly give up on the letter either… Is there some way in…?

…but the door is impassible. They’ll need to find another way in.

Climbing up on these containers allows the thieves to reach another duct they can crawl through.

This will be our final letter of introduction! We must get it!

Very well! It is time we put an end to this charade!

You punks… You snuck in again!?

The cleaner removes his jacket.

Music: Tension


Crap…! Is he really yakuza?
IT seems that bastard Shido has close ties to the underground…
How are we supposed to get the letter of introduction from him? Do we have to prove our worth?

Well, if you have any pattern recognition at all, everyone except Skull, Mona, and Fox have had some one-on-one session with the targets to prove their mettle, so I guess it’s gonna be one of them who gets it for us.

I’m a busy man. I gotta deal with cleanin’ up problems and all them mental shutdowns, after all. If you got business with me, just spit it out already.

May I please have the letter, kind sir?

A letter of introduction? Why the hell would I give you one?

Music: Wicked Plan

A tattoo?

Yep, it’s Fox’s turn.

I thought you’d be able to do it, Yusuke…

Ixnay on the fucking names, jesus christ!

What’re you squabbloin’ about?

Yusuke, draw something! Art’s art, ain’t it!?
…… …Very well. May I at least decide what I draw?
Uh uh. I won’t accept anything ‘cept a godly phoenix fitting for my godly personality.
A phoenix… I’d rather something else…
Makin’ excuses now, mister “artist”? You’re all talk. People like you are a dime a dozen.

I am not all talk. I can draw anything you want. Bring me a brush and a piece of paper.

It should be emphasized that Skull sounds hilariously pissed here.

…Is it a monster? It has some kinda crazy aura…
A truly… explosive piece…
This is my perception of a phoenix.

I get that this thing is wrong for a yakuza tat, but I personally think the rest of the Phantom Thieves are a bunch of whiners here and that Fox’s drawing looks fucking badass.

Thank you.
It seems like… it went well…?
Well then, I request a letter of introduction.

I decline.

Music: Desire

No letter for you then.
I must decide my own path as an artist. I will not receive aid from others any longer. Now if you understand, hand over the letter. Otherwise, we’ll just have to take it by force. By the way, you’re more feral pigeon than phoenix.

We’re still gonna fight after all that!?

Shadow Cleaner

The Shadow Cleaner is unique among minibosses in that he actually has a semi-unique model (albeit just a palette swap of Fuu-Ki). (Nope! It’s just an Ongyo-Ki!) He also has a shitload of health. This fight is a bit annoying and took over eight minutes, which is about double what a miniboss normally takes.

He’s capable of using Maeigaon to hit everyone with Heavy Curse damage, using Myriad Slashes for a bunch of physical hits on one party member, and can increase ailment susceptibility with Foul Breath (one target) and Stagnant Air (everyone, including himself). While he doesn’t have any status ailments to inflict on us, I’m pretty sure they also increase the hit rate for instakill skills, which he does have in the form of Mudoon, a Curse skill. He can use (Ma)Rakunda to lower Defense and Tarukaja to raise his Attack, as well, plus Heat Riser to increase all three of his parameters.

I don’t think he has a weakness, but if he does I don’t know it. Thankfully, One-shot Kill from Astarte has a high crit rate. I also left out the best part of all this, which is that he gets two turns. Joy. This is where I started dipping into my reserve of Takemedic-All-Zs to replace my lack of Mediarama.

Anyway, the Phantom Thieves kick his ass.

That’s all five!

Music: Suspicion

You’ve got some backbone. All right, I’ll give you my letter. Normally I’d have to “clean” you guys up for messin’ around on the ship, but… there’s no point now.

Uh, why is this dude not cowering and repentant like all the other cognition/Shadow hybrids? Is he just a cognition? If so, why did he go berserk? Actually, never mind. Here’s the only important question here: Why is he suddenly wearing clothes again?

You’re letting us go?
This place ain’t gonna last much longer if powerful soldiers like you guys got in here. Time for me to jet. The captain was great n’ all, but he’s gonna have to go down with this ship alone. See ya later, kiddos.

Politicians never get too close with their shady connections. They must have only been linked monetarily.

How do you know that, Noir? Is there something you’re not telling us?

That must be it.
Well, we finally have all five. We need to use these to get into the main assembly hall, right?
Yes, and I believe that will be where we find the Treasure. We’ve been to most other places to gather the letters—there’s almost no doubt about it.
We’re gonna take his Treasure, no matter what!
As I’m sure you all know, the importance of this particular card is unlike any that’s come before. Once we send it, our opponents will know that Joker, who they presumed dead, is in fact still alive. We will be putting our backs to the wall.
If we lose, our lives will truly be over…
We can’t let that happen, can we!?

Hell yeah!
Then it’s decided.
The real question is, how and where do we send the calling card?
How about we make it super flashy? Our whole big plan was all for this moment, you know!
Actually, it must be theatrically done. A minor leak will only be crushed by Shido’s influence.
Maybe it doesn’t have to be in letter form this time.
Hehe… It’s finally my turn to steal the spotlight.
…What’s the matter?
Heeheehee… It’s nothing.
Well, there’s no use in thinking about it here. Let’s head back for now.

Music: Ark

It was quite the feat, but we can finally open that door! Let’s take the Treasure!

It won’t be that easy, Phantom Thieves, for Lord Shido wi—actually, you know what? Fuck it. The Phantom Thieves have chewed up and spit out everything you’ve thrown at them, and I know which way the wind is blowing. I’m siding not just with the winning team, but the right team. You have nothing left, man, and the Phantom Thieves are just getting warmed up. Say your prayers.

Man, it’s good to not feel like I’m under some shitlord’s heel anymore. Even if I get a mental shutdown, this is worth it. Time to kick back and watch the Phantom Thieves do their thing.

There’s no obstacles left between us and victory now. Let’s just head back to where the Treasure is and we can call this a day. I’m positive there’s nothing that can possibly stand in our way.

Music: Desire

ah fuck


Part 169

Part 169: 12/7: Resume Pleasantries

Music: Desire

When last we left our heroes, Akechi returned, seemingly having figured out from Shido’s paranoia that we were fucking around in his head. But the game does a terrible job of emphasizing that, so there was much confusion about it (mainly from me)! Anyway, I wonder what he could possibly want.

Why’s he here…!?
Hmph… I’m impressed that you managed to deceive me. It seems I underestimated your abilities.

Under different circumstances, we could have been great rivals… or perhaps even friends.

Nah, miss me with that shit, bro.

You don’t allow yourself to be enslaved by such things as human relations or past selves… And so, your heart is always free. The exact opposite of mine. To be honest, I’m envious… I wonder why we couldn’t have met a few years earlier, Maaku…

Does he? Does he truly regret this turn of events? Well tough shit, he’s a murderer. I didn’t see him regretting that turn of events.

Oh, for fuck’s sake

But… it’s no use talking in hypotheticals. That didn’t happen in reality…
Akechi! Why are you cooperating with someone like Shido!? Don’t you see what this Palace looks like!? His true nature is–

What are you talking about? I don’t care for Shido, or this country.

GASP! What a twist!

Shido is your father…!?
Remember I said before, how my mother had been in a relationship with some good-for-nothing man?

Futaba and Maaku were the only ones there for that, so most of us don’t, actually.

So I’m his bastard child. My very existence is nothing but a scandal… My mother’s life turned for the worse after she had me… and died. I was a cursed child for her too.
That’s horrible…
I resented him, but he was already a high-ranking official by then. A kid like me could do nothing.

Music: Blood of Villain

Who cares? My targets were all doing the same damn thing in this eat or be eaten world. All I did was remove their evil from society. How is that any different from the Phantom Thieves?
We’re not murderers!

I guess he’s right. There isn’t really a huge difference between murdering people and not murdering people. I can see where he’s coming from.

And that’s when I—an utter disgrace to the world—will rule over him. I will prevail!

In just a few weeks, my plan would have come to fruition…! But no, you just had to interfere…! I can still take it back though. I’ll just need to kill you all.
Hmph, we won’t get killed for something like that. You talk big, but you’re really nothing more than a little kid throwing a temper tantrum!

Oh shit, burned by the cat!!!

Don’t lecture me, you piece of shit…

Weak response, though. Point goes to Morgana.

I am going to personally thrust Masayoshi Shido into a living hell. So, Joker… rest easy and die.

I agree. There is no need to speak any longer.
You sure sound confident, but don’t go pressin’ your luck. We already know all your tricks from back when you were workin’ with us.

I’m actually with Haru. Common misconception, there. Ryuji’s more a “bro” than a “partner.”

Huh1? Quit bluffin’!
It’s no bluff. If he truly is behind the mental shutdowns, he’s likely only shown us a fraction of his strength.

Ahhhh shit.

Boss: Goro Akechi

Music: Blooming Villain

Akechi doesn’t even get his own boss music. How lame.

I won’t let you stop me!

Those cannot be explained unless the true culprit has the power to make people’s hearts psychotic… snicker That’s right! It’s my power—one that you don’t have!

Oh hey, finally some resolution on that. Cool.

Allow me to show you!

That wasn’t Robin Hood… Could it have been a different Persona?

He can use two Personas too!?

Even the feeblest existence can gain tremendous power once the chains on its heart are broken.

Akechi then fucking backflips offscreen.

What did Akechi do!? The enemies are way stronger now!

The battle starts with both enemies using Desperation to raise their Attack and lower their defense just like Leviathan did. Once this wears off in three turns or so, they will automatically reuse it.

I’ve taken pains to simulate the experience of a first-time player going into this fight, so I’m low on HP and SP because this fight is a “surprise”!

Worth noting: under the effect of Desperation, these guys can and will fuck you up! Still, you should easily be able to take them down in just a few turns, even with their massively inflated health pools.

This guy’s out of his mind…!

You have deceived me and escaped death, after all.

He’s coming… Brace yourselves!

This fight is simply a continuation of the last fight, so buffs, debuffs, and turn order will all carry over. A note to make here is that it seems like in this phase, Akechi will only attack Maaku. Also sometimes when he calls his Persona he shouts out “PERSONAAAAAAARGH” and it’s really funny.

Akechi is capable of using almost all of his skills from his time as a party member. Here, he uses Kougaon. He can also use Eigaon.

I didn’t have it equipped at the time, so I got knocked down, but Melchizedek is a great choice for this fight due to its resistances. It drains Bless and Blocks Curse, so Akechi can’t do much to it.

Akechi doesn’t actually have an awful lot of health for a boss, so a round of Matarukaja’d attacks courtesy of Ryuji will get him pretty near critical HP.

chuckle So… neither of us had shown our true strengths, huh…?

You should really watch the video for this fight, because this is certainly some fucking voice acting right here.

Kinda disappointed in Megidolaon after that huge animation.

Finally, Akechi can Charge up, but it just sets up another Megaton Raid from him. We guard through it.

And then, he’s down.

Music: Desire

So he’s able to turn people psychotic… I thought it was some special thing like the Nav, but it seems to be his own Persona’s power.

That’s the weakest Stand Persona I’ve ever seen, then.

I can’t believe that the ability to control and drive others mad was born from within his heart…

Will you please stop!? You’re fighting the wrong people! We both hate the same guy! Why do we have to go against each other!?
Killing us won’t make you happy.
But… I…!
This ain’t about what Shido says! You’re your own person! You gotta know that!

Uhhh, what’s going on? Are we trying to redeem the mass murderer here?

Damn it…!
You know… sometimes I think about that fake Medjed that you guys made up… That was the worst trap… but if not for that, I don’t think I’d be here right now. Uhhh, basically… it doesn’t matter where you start over!

What the fuck!? He killed your mom, Futaba!

And… you don’t really hate Joker, do you?

You’re thinking about how much you want to **** Joker, aren’t you?

That smile before we fought… Isn’t that how you really feel?
Follow your true feelings…! Even if you think people hate you or don’t want you around, that’s–

You’re right, they don’t! Because you’re a murderer!

Why am I inferior to you…!?

Oh boy, it’s time for the not-at-all clichéd “The real difference between Maaku and Akechi is that Maaku has friends” bullshit. I was cringing at this crap as an eight-year-old playing fucking Kingdom Hearts.

I was extremely particular about my life, m y grades, my public image, so someone would want me around! I am an ace detective… a celebrity!

How does someone like you have things I don’t!?

This really is a tantrum, wow.

This argument is meaningless…!

Music: Blood of Villain

A black mask…!

Wait, who’s he talking about…?
It can’t be… There was another intruder besides us within this Palace…!?

I’ll let you in on a little something… There’s a criminal using other people’s Palaces to accomplish whatever they damn well please. They don’t care about consequences. Psychotic breakdowns, mental shutdowns… anything goes.

fuckin’ what


come on

you’re supposed to be smarter than this

I’m surprised… This is actually a first for me. I might even have to try my hardest against you. You know… I just came up with a fun little idea… I wonder how far I can go with this…
You wanted to see my powers, didn’t you? Fine… I’ll show them to you!

All I care about now is killing all of you…

Akechi’s “Awakening” (I left in a segment before this scene because Daymond really goes for it. I’m not sure it’s a great performance, but he really, really tries)

Music: Awakening

He can use two separate powers…!?

No way…!

Boss: The Black Mask

Music: Will Power

You are the trash of society…!

Teammates are nothing but trash!

Well, we’ve got another fight in front of us here. And it’s one with a lot more health. To prepare, I’ve slightly cheated by using Mystery Stews at the end of the previous fight to restore 30% of Makoto and Ryuji’s SP at the cost of a temporary debuff to all their battle parameters (which Makoto can just dispel anyway with Dekunda), as is visible in the corresponding video for that fight. If you don’t feel good doing that, just do it at the start of this fight or use carrots or whatever, god knows we have plenty.

Akechi is the sinner of Emptiness, not represented by any demon, but let’s just say it’s Loki, how about that?

Speaking of Loki, here’s some concept art for him!

Akechi starts by casting Tetrakarn on himself, forcing us to break it by throwing ourselves at it. Annoying.

Now that he’s turned himself psychotic, he gets two turns! How fun! He’ll also use Brave Blade to inflict a lot of Physical damage.

He can use Negative Pile as well, which deals less damage but can inflict Despair.

Getting him down to 60% or so gives us this message.

Anything goes… if you say you’re teammates…!

Now he can use Makarakarn, which is much easier to deal with because most of the party blocks their chosen element.

He can also still use Eigaon and Kougaon, so watch out. Also the lower-level Maeigaon and Maragion, for some reason.

I don’t need… teammates… I don’t…

Let’s have Maaku guard, just in case.

This fight still isn’t very difficult.

screaming in pain

And Akechi’s down for the count. What a loser.


Akechi going full ham is pretty great. The way he shouts “WHAT?!” every time he misses is far funnier than it should be.

Part 170

Music: Regret

…You’re so lucky. Lucky to be surrounded… by teammates who acknowledge you… And once Shido confesses his crimes, you’ll all be heroes. As for me, people will find out my past deductions were just charade. My fame and trust will vanish.

Oh boo fucking hoo.

…I see. So you were turning people psychotic, then solving the cases yourself. And you did that by joining forces with Shido.
In the end… I couldn’t be special…
Dude, you’re more than special…


It pains me to admit… but your wit and strength far exceeds ours. We only defeated you by teaming up… I was honestly… envious of your natural ability.

Oh, fuck this

It was frustrating to see how much my sister trusted you…
I have no intention of forgiving you for what you did to my father, but… I sympathize with you. I wholeheartedly understand wanting to get back at the adults who took from you…
But when you gained the power to fulfill that desire, you only used it for your own self-benefit.
If you have the ability to use multiple Personas, you probably have the same talents as Joker. But because you went through life alone, the power you awakened was fueled by lies and hate… Still, you thought that was enough, right…? That part, I totally get.
You excelled at everything over us… yet that was the one thing you lacked.

All right, let’s go back and get that callin’ card ready! (to Akechi) We’re gonna take Shido down. What’re you gonna do?

Fucking what!? He’s a mass murderer!!!

So yeah, all you guys worried that things would all be hunky dory after Akechi’s fight were maybe on to something, there.

You should get rid of me… if you don’t want me getting in your way. ……

Music: Desire


That’s… Shido’s cognitive version of Akechi!

One thing that my portraits can’t really capture is just how creepy and dead this motherfucker’s eyes are.

Captain Shido’s orders… He has no need for losers. Well… this just moves the plan up a little. He was going to get rid of you after the election anyway.

You can’t possibly be surprised by this, my dude.

Did you truly believe you’d be spared after all the murders you undertook? Don’t tell me… Were you actually feeling good about having someone rely on you for once? Oh by the way, the captain says it’s time you receive retribution for causing the mental shutdowns.
What the hell, man!? That bastard’s the one who put him up to it!

I was wondering how he’d protect himself if I used my power to tear through his Palace. Turns out you’re how. So he’s making a puppet kill me… Sounds like something he’d do.
That’s right. I’ll do anything. But look at yourself… you’re the true puppet.

Not only is Cognitive Akechi a fucking sociopath, he’s also a vampire apparently.

You’ve been nothing but a puppet from the very beginning.
You little…!
So this… is how Shido thinks of Goro Akechi… It’s… it’s too horrible!
It’s still not too late! We can change his heart together! Even if he’s your father… No, because he’s your father!

noooooo let him dieeeeee

Oh my goooooooooooooooooood what’s going on with your goddamn face!?

No… He’s not alone! He has Shadows too…!?
You know what? I’ll let someone volunteer to take his place. Who knows, you might delay his death.
Damn you…!

Oh, that’s just the same as me. I’m going to take all the blame for our captain. I’ll die for him too.
This is what Shido thinks of Akechi-kun, even after making him help with the murders…!?

Uh, yeah, you already said that, Makoto.

(to Akechi) Here, I’ll give you one last chance. Shoot them.
Haha… I was such a fool.

…Don’t misunderstand. You’re the one who’s going to disappear!

Music: Alleycat

Fuckin’ sad music playing over your heroic sacrifice, fuck you. You didn’t earn that.

You fool! Are you trying to get yourself killed!?
The real fools… are you guys. You should have just abandoned me here a long time ago… You would have all perished… if you had tried to face these with me weighing you down…

Let’s make a deal… OK? You won’t say no… will you?
Why at a time like this…!?
Change Shido’s heart… in my stead… End his crimes… Please…!

I kind of want to do it less now that you’re asking me, jeez. Fine, whatever.

Akechi smiles and nods.


Music: The Spirit

It’s Akechi, everyone! The charming Detective Prince you all know and love! He’s voiced by Robbie Daymond!

(A funny thing here is that Akechi is the only Confidant in the game to give no permanent benefit, if we acknowledge that Sae’s “???” just means that we get to keep playing the game. Lol, Akechi was worthless to the end)

Music: Alleycat


Not bad.

Isn’t there some way to get this open, Mona…?

I’m only getting… the weaklings…

Welp, too bad, let’s go.

Come on, you guys! We can’t let a rotten criminal like Shido do what he wants any longer! We can’t… no matter what!

Part 170: 12/7: A Murder Of Crows

Now, before we go, it’s time for…

Did you know? According to some tweet I read once that I never saw any other substantiation for, apparently data miners found evidence that Akechi was originally intended to have his own Palace! This would probably have been very early in development, I assume. Pretty weird, right? Oh well! Anyway, that’s the end of Akechi. Let us never speak of him again.

Part 171

Part 171: 12/7-12/8: Making A Scene

Music: Ark

…We should get going.
He entrusted us with an important task, after all…
Let’s go, Joker.

It looks like we’ve come out on the side deck. We should be able to secure a route from here.
Welp, let’s head over and get to usin; those letters then.

Open sesame!

The time’s finally come.

“Finally” is right. It’s been like a month of this shit.


Music: Suspicion

Huh!? The hell is that…!?
It’s pretty rockin’…!
So this… is the main assembly hall?
P-Probably. Darumas are often used as symbols of election luck, plus everything else in here seems real…
Odd… There isn’t a single person in here. It sounded as though there was quite the crowd within when we heard voices through the door.
But given how it looks, this has to be the root of the distortion.
Yes. I’m picking up on the Treasure’s presence as well.

We can fucking see the Treasure from here. It’s right in front of us.

There’s no doubt this place is where it’ll appear.

Before that, one order of business.

Music: Aria of the Soul

First up, Moloch from Daisoujou and Pazuzu.

Your soul shall burn a brilliant crimson with my hellfire. Now then… take up your mask.

Moloch is a Canaanite god associated with child sacrifice. Certain traditions depicted Moloch as a large bronze statue heated with fire into which victims were thrown.

Next, Dionysus from Kushinada and Oberon.

I shall stay by your side in the form of a mask. Now, show me your power to change yourself in battle!

Dionysus is the Greek god of winemaking and wine, as well as some other shit like fertility, ritual madness, religious ecstasy, and theater.

Music: Ark

We finally secured our route to the Treasure! All we need to do now is send the calling card.
So we’ve made it… but there’s no turning back once the calling card is out. Failure is not an option. Is there anything left to do, Joker? Let’s make sure we take our time going forward.

Music: Beneath the Mask

That means we’re ready to send the calling card too. When should we do it?
We must consider the method by which we will send it as well.
All those guys cheering for Shido better be ready. We’re gonna surprise the shit outta them!
I can’t wait for this.

It’s about Akechi-kun, is it not? That was really sad what happened to him… Honestly, I have mixed feelings… but I think he was a victim too.
A victim we couldn’t save…
Had I not met you all, I may have become like him as well…
Personally speaking, I can’t forgive the guy. But more importantly, I can’t forgive Shido for warping his mind so goddamn much!

You can count on us. The decision on when to call us together for this plan is on you, Maaku.



Please don’t say things like that.

Music: Punch Ouch

He might be small, but don’t underestimate him. His quick movements will decimate you!
I’m here with you! Just remember what we practiced!
Don’t lose…
And right as the bell rings, Joe comes out aggressive!
Don’t let him shake you up! Persevere, and figure out what his weakness is!

It looks like his form loosens up after he goes on the offensive…!
What are you running around for? Are you trying to-- Oh, I get it! You’re on the right track! Sway to avoid his attacks!

The challenger lands an impressive counter, and Joe falters!
Good, good! Now go for the flurry!

What an intense string of punches! Joe goes down!
All right, the count’s starting. I hope he doesn’t get up…

You’ve got him on his heels! Keep up your footwork!

Maaku dodges.

Now! Give him a flurry!

Maaku gives him a flurry.

What a combo! Joe goes down!
Please don’t get up…

Graham Joe has crumbled! Our challenger wins!

Music: Everyday Days

Maaku gains Charm +2.

Anon: We’ll finally have peace
Anon: c’mon, leak his name!
Anon: kid had it coming, lol

Music: Suspicion

It’s strange that no one like him has come forward until now.
He is so charismatic. Upper management could learn a thing or two from him…

He only thinks of people as stepping stones for his own personal gain. …… Father… Father, is this the type of person you fought to protect us from? …I will fight against this injustice with my own power. I’ll be all right. I have Sis and the Phantom Thieves on my side. So… watch over me, OK?

Music: Disquiet

This is so strange.
I met a similarly frightening situation on the train… Everyone’s blindly following Shido. It’s as if they’ve been brainwashed.

Whaddya mean?
If Shido has time to spare, he will ensure all the loose ends are tied up with Maaku’s death.
They may even find out about the missing corpse…
Let’s just try to keep an eye on our opponent’s moves and strike first.
I’ll do the best navigation I can do for you guys. Leave it to me.
Shit’s getting real important now. Just give us a call if you make up your mind.

In this case, what kind of crime could the person who fired the gun be tried for? A: Attempted murder/B: Involuntary manslaughter/ Which of these is correct? Yuo be the judge!

The correct answer is… A! Why doesn’t wounding a passerby count as assault?
This was kind of a mean question. The answer is A, but this is two cases of attempted murder… You’ll get charged with the same crime, even if someone just happened to get wrapped up in it.
I’m impressed that you got that right. I was totally tricked.

Maaku gains Knowledge +1.

Sounds like bullshit, Ann.

Well, we have nothing else to do, so let’s just send that calling card, eh?

Make sure you’re fully prepared beforehand, OK?

Music: Suspicion

It would be pointless to send it to the Diet Building.
And even if we handed it over to different media sources, who knows how it would be treated… The worst case scenario would be giving it to the police under the table.
What shall we do then…?


My Futaba Cannon is ready.

It’s good to go. Look. Now, if I do this…

When did you make this!?
You shoulda told us you were plannin’ something!
To trick your enemies, you first gotta trick your allies.

That doesn’t really make any sense here, but whatever.

How stylish.
It’s kickass!
This should work nicely…
All right! It’s time for people to start comin’ to their senses!

The Final Calling Card (This is one of the best scenes in the game)

There’s a ton of ancillary dialogue in this scene but some of it is unimportant and most of it isn’t subtitled, I’ll grab what I think makes sense.

…start with national news. Since the young man suspected to be the leader of the Phantom Thieves died while in custody, the police have officially announced that these crimes have come to an end, and assure everyone that the peace will be restored–

Wake Up, Get Up, Get Out There (Instrumental Version)

Yo! What is UP, everybody!
We are the ones who you all know as the Phantom Thieves.

And all of us are alive and kickin’. But those shitty guys in power? They’ve been manipulatin’ information to try and hide the truth.

Ryuji, don’t cuss! You have a captive audience! Children are watching!

I dunno, and we can’t switch it out! Seems we aren’t the only ones affected either!

Funny detail here: this guy is voiced by Ben Diskin, my absolute favorite voice actor and the guy I wanted to play Ryuji before they announced the cast. That’s really only important to me, but I wanted to share it with all of you.

So, before we appropriate our next target… We would like to first borrow your time!
The recent scandals of public figures, the accidents caused by psychotic breakdowns and mental shutdowns—These weren’t caused by unknown reasons.

One man is behind every single instance… simply to satiate his own greed.
That man was afraid his crimes would be exposed and shifted the blame on us. He even manipulated the police for that.

We only steal the hearts of criminals. But this asshole tried to dump what he did on us.

That just shows he doesn’t care about those victims at all!
(into phone) Are they stupid!? Shut everything down!

The identity of that cowardly man is–

The feed cuts out.

The hell!? It was getting good!

Oooh, the police reacted much faster than I thought.

Futaba hits a key…

…and the signal spreads.

I win!

The signal returns.

The man behind it all is a current cabinet member, of all things. The Minister of State for Special Missions…

Masayoshi Shido!

loud gasps

Everything that guy says is a lie! And to prove that…

Look! As you can see, all of us are alive and kickin’!

This is the pettiest, most bullshit complaint imaginable, but how are they in costume? We established at the very beginning of the game that you can’t record in a Palace. Did they have their costumes custom-made for this video? That seems like it’d draw attention!

I’m sure the people investigating us can tell if this is a lie or not.

Shido himself will soon confess all the crimes that he’s committed. Please look forward to it, everyone!
You think it’s some kinda prank?
Uhhh… no way… could this be real!?

We’re not gonna sit back and watch some crook wreck this country just ‘cause of his goddamn ego.

Ain’t that right… Leader?

Hey, you can see his face!
Yes. Before that happens, we will take this country!


I’ll crush them beneath my heel!

Makoto, Haru, and Morgana do not get lines in that scene, because fuck ‘em I guess.