Part 168: 12/7: Taking Out The Trash
When last we left off, Shido was only one letter of introduction away from being completely undermined. But I’m suuuuure those Phantom Thieves won’t get any further. That would be just impossible.
Also worth noting: we’re officially done with Hallway Simulator 2017. Thank fuck.
Just that cleaner dude left then. Wanna go cause a scene somewhere and lure him out?
As I’ve already said, we should avoid doing that if we can.
But we’ve gone everywhere on the map. Is there any place we haven’t checked yet…?
Hm? I don’t recall ever passing by such a place.
Wait, I found something… The engine room. Remember how you were wondering about that smoke earlier, Skull?
Oh yeah… Where was that?
Back down on the main level of the side deck, the thieves find this vent.
I’m getting a reading from inside, but I can’t tell if it’s him.
Huh? We ain’t gonna be able to get in like this. You wanna try forcin’ it open, Joker?
OK, let’s do it!
But his men are with him too. Exiting here will land us directly in front of them. There will be no chance of escape at that point. What do you think, Joker?
Very well. We shall jump in!
I said you’re off the hook, didn’t I? You got guts, bro.
Crap, this guy might be just a cognition, but he’s damn scary!
I’m too busy to deal with you punks now. I’ll be leavin’ that to my men here.
This fight is just more Baphomets and is therefore a complete joke. Melchizedek has Mahamaon and can thus instakill all of them in a single turn. Get some better henchmen. I am of course referring to the cleaner, not Shido. That would be absurd, as Shido is perfect. Shido cannot fail, he can only be failed.
Look, over there!
Dammit, we’re not lettin’ him escape! Let’s take that letter by force if we gotta!
Bead Chain and a Diamond, not terrible.
Our target appears to be within this room. We have cornered him thus far, so let us look for a way inside.
They’re holed up in this room…
Agh, dammit! He locked the door!
This won’t do. We can’t exactly give up on the letter either… Is there some way in…?
…but the door is impassible. They’ll need to find another way in.
Climbing up on these containers allows the thieves to reach another duct they can crawl through.
This will be our final letter of introduction! We must get it!
Very well! It is time we put an end to this charade!
You punks… You snuck in again!?
The cleaner removes his jacket.
WHAT DID YOU THINK HE WAS DOING, YOU MORONS
Crap…! Is he really yakuza?
IT seems that bastard Shido has close ties to the underground…
How are we supposed to get the letter of introduction from him? Do we have to prove our worth?
Well, if you have any pattern recognition at all, everyone except Skull, Mona, and Fox have had some one-on-one session with the targets to prove their mettle, so I guess it’s gonna be one of them who gets it for us.
I’m a busy man. I gotta deal with cleanin’ up problems and all them mental shutdowns, after all. If you got business with me, just spit it out already.
May I please have the letter, kind sir?
A letter of introduction? Why the hell would I give you one?
Music: Wicked Plan
Yep, it’s Fox’s turn.
I thought you’d be able to do it, Yusuke…
Ixnay on the fucking names, jesus christ!
What’re you squabbloin’ about?
Yusuke, draw something! Art’s art, ain’t it!?
…… …Very well. May I at least decide what I draw?
Uh uh. I won’t accept anything ‘cept a godly phoenix fitting for my godly personality.
A phoenix… I’d rather something else…
Makin’ excuses now, mister “artist”? You’re all talk. People like you are a dime a dozen.
I am not all talk. I can draw anything you want. Bring me a brush and a piece of paper.
It should be emphasized that Skull sounds hilariously pissed here.
…Is it a monster? It has some kinda crazy aura…
A truly… explosive piece…
This is my perception of a phoenix.
I get that this thing is wrong for a yakuza tat, but I personally think the rest of the Phantom Thieves are a bunch of whiners here and that Fox’s drawing looks fucking badass.
It seems like… it went well…?
Well then, I request a letter of introduction.
No letter for you then.
I must decide my own path as an artist. I will not receive aid from others any longer. Now if you understand, hand over the letter. Otherwise, we’ll just have to take it by force. By the way, you’re more feral pigeon than phoenix.
We’re still gonna fight after all that!?
The Shadow Cleaner is unique among minibosses in that he actually has a semi-unique model (albeit just a palette swap of Fuu-Ki). (Nope! It’s just an Ongyo-Ki!) He also has a shitload of health. This fight is a bit annoying and took over eight minutes, which is about double what a miniboss normally takes.
He’s capable of using Maeigaon to hit everyone with Heavy Curse damage, using Myriad Slashes for a bunch of physical hits on one party member, and can increase ailment susceptibility with Foul Breath (one target) and Stagnant Air (everyone, including himself). While he doesn’t have any status ailments to inflict on us, I’m pretty sure they also increase the hit rate for instakill skills, which he does have in the form of Mudoon, a Curse skill. He can use (Ma)Rakunda to lower Defense and Tarukaja to raise his Attack, as well, plus Heat Riser to increase all three of his parameters.
I don’t think he has a weakness, but if he does I don’t know it. Thankfully, One-shot Kill from Astarte has a high crit rate. I also left out the best part of all this, which is that he gets two turns. Joy. This is where I started dipping into my reserve of Takemedic-All-Zs to replace my lack of Mediarama.
Anyway, the Phantom Thieves kick his ass.
That’s all five!
You’ve got some backbone. All right, I’ll give you my letter. Normally I’d have to “clean” you guys up for messin’ around on the ship, but… there’s no point now.
Uh, why is this dude not cowering and repentant like all the other cognition/Shadow hybrids? Is he just a cognition? If so, why did he go berserk? Actually, never mind. Here’s the only important question here: Why is he suddenly wearing clothes again?
You’re letting us go?
This place ain’t gonna last much longer if powerful soldiers like you guys got in here. Time for me to jet. The captain was great n’ all, but he’s gonna have to go down with this ship alone. See ya later, kiddos.
Politicians never get too close with their shady connections. They must have only been linked monetarily.
How do you know that, Noir? Is there something you’re not telling us?
That must be it.
Well, we finally have all five. We need to use these to get into the main assembly hall, right?
Yes, and I believe that will be where we find the Treasure. We’ve been to most other places to gather the letters—there’s almost no doubt about it.
We’re gonna take his Treasure, no matter what!
As I’m sure you all know, the importance of this particular card is unlike any that’s come before. Once we send it, our opponents will know that Joker, who they presumed dead, is in fact still alive. We will be putting our backs to the wall.
If we lose, our lives will truly be over…
We can’t let that happen, can we!?
Then it’s decided.
The real question is, how and where do we send the calling card?
How about we make it super flashy? Our whole big plan was all for this moment, you know!
Actually, it must be theatrically done. A minor leak will only be crushed by Shido’s influence.
Maybe it doesn’t have to be in letter form this time.
Hehe… It’s finally my turn to steal the spotlight.
…What’s the matter?
Heeheehee… It’s nothing.
Well, there’s no use in thinking about it here. Let’s head back for now.
It was quite the feat, but we can finally open that door! Let’s take the Treasure!
It won’t be that easy, Phantom Thieves, for Lord Shido wi—actually, you know what? Fuck it. The Phantom Thieves have chewed up and spit out everything you’ve thrown at them, and I know which way the wind is blowing. I’m siding not just with the winning team, but the right team. You have nothing left, man, and the Phantom Thieves are just getting warmed up. Say your prayers.
Man, it’s good to not feel like I’m under some shitlord’s heel anymore. Even if I get a mental shutdown, this is worth it. Time to kick back and watch the Phantom Thieves do their thing.
There’s no obstacles left between us and victory now. Let’s just head back to where the Treasure is and we can call this a day. I’m positive there’s nothing that can possibly stand in our way.