TECHNOBABBLE: THE JRPG (Xenosaga Pied Piper)

ScurvyKip · February 1, 2017, 10:56pm

No spoilers at all, not even in tags.

Let’s Play the Xenosaga Series!

What the hell is a Xenosaga?

Xenosaga is a sci-fi JRPG, developed by Monolith Soft, and published by Namco. This is a three game series, all games being released on the PlayStation 2. It’s well known for its lengthy cutscenes and non-standard gameplay, for better or worse.

Why a VLP?

I enjoy this series, though its one of those ones that I think lends itself very well to being made fun of while you watch it, so this will be less on the informative side. After the tutorial dungeon, I will be removing all repetitive encounters in order to streamline things a bit and not have thirty minute updates of only random battles.

What if I want an informational LP?

Zutaten did a well done hybrid LP of the series (most of it anyway). You can find it on the LP Master List, but it requires archives.

I love sidequests! Are you going to be doing any?

I’m going to be as comprehensive as possible when it comes to getting 100% completion.

Who are these people with you?

I will have a few mainstays rotating as guests, and another random rotating guest as well. My mainstays are DazzlingAddar, KasaiAisu, and Unpronounceable.

How about an upload schedule?

I’m aiming for about once or twice a week. No promises though.

VIDEOS:

BONUSES:

Full Database Reading
Kasai and Unpronounceable Recap the Plot

Ziggy’s Story
chaos’s Story
KOS-MOS’s Story
MOMO’s Story
Jr.'s Story

Chapter 1: Prologue
Chapter 2: Archon Police Station

ScurvyKip · February 1, 2017, 10:56pm

FANART

Helmet 10 Warehouse:

Cangelosi:

Keeshhound:

The Skeep:

Daigerus:

FeyerbrandX:

ScurvyKip · February 1, 2017, 10:57pm

Here’s the first update for Xenosaga Freaks, migrated over from SA.

[details=Click for Update!]Part 1: Ziggy’s Story

We’re going to be using the Windows adaptation of XenoComi, made by Jintoki and Kare Reiko of the Xeno Underground site. Go give them some thanks, because without them, I wouldn’t be able to cover this!

We get dumped at the title screen, pretty standard stuff really. Let’s go ahead and get this thing going.

Normally, on the PS2 version, there would be all seven stories available here to select. This adaptation has each story as it’s own separate program though, so only Ziggy is available to choose.

We start off on the Elsa, in Ziggy’s maintenance room. This game takes place during the events of Xenosaga I, after Shion and the gang arrive at the Kukai Foundation, but before the U-TIC attack and KOS-MOS Encephalon dive take place.

Notice that no matter who is talking, Ziggy’s portrait appears in the bottom left. I’m no expert on visual novels, but that seems like an odd design choice to me.

: It’s good, though my left hand is experiencing lag. Reaction rate passes 0.022.
: Left hand, huh? Fighting must have worn it out, so it’d be best to exchange it with new parts later.
: Alright, I will.

chaos enters the room.

: Oh, chaos!
: Did something happen?
: No, I’m going shopping, but I thought I would ask if you needed anything.

And now we get into the actual ‘choice’ part of the visual novel part. Generally speaking, talking to people will advance the plot, so let’s go check out that corridor, shall we?

Oh. Well um, how about looking at the adjustment device?

Just an aside, but you can clearly see the adjustment device in the background, but we’re supposed to be Ziggy, who is in the chair. It’s a minor thing but it bugs me a bit.

wAlright, let’s see what MOMO has to say.

Riveting.

: Frying pan? What for?
: For cooking, of course! Shion has been teaching me to cook lately. I will make a lot of yummy things for you, too!
: I see. I’m looking forward to it.

Let’s see if we can figure out what chaos is buying. Maybe he could hook us up with some WD-4000.

: Yes, would you like me to get something for you?
: No, I don’t need anything right now.

: Well, I’m going shopping. MOMO, I will get you something cute.
: Ok, take care!

chaos leaves the room, presumably to buy MOMO a stuffed animal of that demonic rabbit thing.

: Alright.
: Oh, Shion!

Oh great, just what I need, more Shion. The only saving grace here is that Ziggy is having none of her shit today.

: Huh? Is everything okay?

Our option menu comes up again, mostly the same things. If we try again to go to the B1 corridor, we get the same dialogue again, only this time Ziggy apologizes. So let’s eavesdrop on their conversation, shall we?

No gossip for Ziggy today it seems. As much as it pains me to do so, let’s go ahead and talk to Shion.

I told you Ziggy was having none of this today. Ziggy: 1, Shion: 0.

: What do you mean? I didn’t do anything!
: Understood, something has happened. That’s why I think it’s best to go and apologize right away.
: No that’s why… Do you listen to what people say?

Now that Shion has been thoroughly insulted, let’s chat with MOMO and find out the situation.

: It looks like something has happened on the Durandal. Someone tried to break into the mainframe.
: The enemy wasn’t there?
: Umm, I think the fact that the government areas didn’t respond to the enemy’s power is a good thing. With Shion in such a rush, maybe she caused it.

Even MOMO is getting some punches in there, you go girl.

Shion leaves, thank fuck. Sadly that isn’t the last time we see her in this story.

: You’re right, people are just coming one after the other. Ah! What’s wrong Ziggy, are you hurt somewhere?
: No, it’s just getting lonely somehow.
: Oh, it’s Jr. this time.

Jr. enters the room, looking worried.

: It’s nothing, just something we were talking about.

Same story here, though investigating the device again gets some additional thoughts out of Ziggy.

Seems he isn’t too keen on getting interrupted three times so far, and in a short amount of time. Let’s talk to MOMO again.

: No, the damage itself isn’t so bad. There is no need to worry.
: Thank goodness.

Now that MOMO is calmed down, maybe Jr. can tell us what is actually going on here.

: Change? We heard from Shion that there is something unusual with the Durandal. Is it connected to that?
: Well, just a little. You’re an ex-policeman, right? After you’re done with the adjustment, I need a little cooperation.
: Alright, I don’t mind.
: Thank you! That’s a big help. See ya, old man. Sorry, but I’m counting on you.

Jr. leaves, hopefully we can actually finish with this adjustment so we can go to that damn corridor. There’s probably not anything there but the game is teasing us.

: Ok!

The intercom kicks on.

: Hey, is Miss 100-Series there?
: Oh, Captain! Has something happened?
: Sorry for asking, but we need your help on the bridge. I’m counting on you!
: Ziggy…

I’m getting tired of this, let’s go up there and give the Captain a piece of our…

Goddamnit. Are we even close to getting this over with?

Awesome! Hey MOMO, think you could start this thing back up?

Alright fine, just make us sit in this chair for the entire story.

: Yes, I don’t mind. Don’t worry about me.
: Thank you very much! Then, please bear with it for the moment. After this, I will make you shiny!

And so MOMO leaves, leaving us alone to our own devices.

: …And that’s how it is. I’m locked alone, unable to free myself. I can’t do anything while I’m grounded like this. Well, it’s okay. MOMO will come back soon, so it won’t hurt to put this off for later.

MOMO thankfully comes back fairly quickly, let’s get that reboot going!

: Oh, MOMO? I’ve been waiting for you. Sorry, but could you quickly…
: I’m sorry, Ziggy! Please wait a little longer before we continue your adjustment.
: Oh… Alright, I don’t mind. Your work is more important.
: I’ll get back as soon as I’m done.

…Shit. MOMO leaves again, and we are back where we were just a few moments ago. Alone.

Ziggy seems to be taking this pretty well, all things considered. I know I would not be happy at all.

Thinking is for nerds, let’s brute force our way out!

Well, it was worth a shot.

Some indeterminate amount of time passes…

: This time… Somehow, this body can feel boredom. I could even count the number of screws in my body.

Yes, that’s right. We have reached the point where we will count screws to advance the plot. But first…

Ziggy is not happy about me trying to make him get out of this chair. Let’s not count screws though… please? I cant take another one of these dumb minigames. Let’s think instead.

You know what, on second thought counting screws seems less depressing.

Well at least it’s not a minigame. Some more time passes…

: 482, 483, 484…

Oh goddamnit, you again?

: 485, oh, it’s Shion. Do you want something? Is there still a problem? 486.
: Oh, no. There isn’t a problem this time… Anyway, what are you doing?
: 487… MOMO was called to the bridge by the Captain, 488… I’m waiting for her to return… 489.
: Ah, no, I wasn’t asking about that. What are you counting?
: Uh, nothing important, don’t worry about it.

Well since Ziggy is pissed at us for trying to leave, let’s see what’s on his mind.

You have a speaker for a crotch, dude, I think that you are fine. Anyway, why is she still here? Fine, lets get her out of our hair.

: Well, I’m in the middle of adjustments. Until MOMO comes back, I can only wait in this state. Anyway Shion, the truth is…
: Oh, sorry, I disturbed your work, right?
: No, it’s not like that. Anyway…
: Then I will be going!

And just like that, Shion leaves us there. I’m having a hard time deciding if she’s just that dense, or is getting back at Ziggy for making fun of her earlier. Gonna go with the former, though.

: She’s gone… There’s no other choice, I will continue counting. 589, 590.

Poor Ziggy…

Maybe Jr. will be able to rub two brain cells together and help us out.

: 591… What is going on? 592… Shion was asking if everything was alright, you are asking if everything is alright, so what exactly have you done?
: Nothing, there’s just a bit of a mess.

I wonder how high he’s going to count… Honestly, being able to do that and hold a conversation is pretty impressive to me. What’re you thinking about, Ziggy?

: Hmm, maybe I should ask Jr.? Better not. Worst case scenario could be a life-threatening ordeal. I better wait for MOMO.

You have a point there. Jr.'s idea of fixing things probably involves shooting them.

: Well, it’s not about that… 596.
: 595… What is it about?
: 598… Well, it’s nothing about that… 599.
: 595…Don’t be so vague, 596. Did you find all the pieces of your mess?
: 602… Yeah, I’m going to do that. See ya… 603.

Jr. leaves, that cheeky asshole.

: He thought something like that would irritate me… 597.

Jr. rushes back into the room.

: Hurry up and get out!

Jr. runs off, now that he’s successfully annoyed Ziggy.

: After I calm down a bit I will go back to the last problem… 605.

He lost count.

Some more time passes…

: 1135, 1136… Uh?! What is this? For some reason, my body… is hard to move.
: Unexpectedly, a malfunction in the adjustment device disrupted Ziggy’s nervous system, paralyzing his entire body.

Something is actually happening! About time!

: It looks as though the Elsa motherframe has an abnormality. Thanks to the safeguard MOMO installed, the bypass automatically disconnected. Oh well, this is only a deterioration from the last situation. Um, oh well.

Clearly now that we’re completely immobile, we can leave!

: Uh, it doesn’t look like it’s a trivial matter. Perhaps it damaged other systems. Too bad, I can’t verify it in this state. This kind of situation is tiring. I didn’t think the ship took so much damage. Is MOMO okay? Jr.!

Maybe this time he’ll be of actual use to us.

: How does the situation look outside?
: Situation? Why don’t you go see for yourself?
: I can’t do that.
: Geez, being old must really suck. Be honest, your moving functions are paralyzed, right?
: You don’t need to tell me that.

I swear to god if we weren’t stuck in this fucking chair…

Alright Ziggy, how are we gonna get out of this mess?

I have a bad feeling about this.

Alright fine, get us out of here, Jr.

: The Elsa’s mainframe was hacked and the Durandal’s Mama was attacked. The ship’s functions have been torn apart. MOMO and two-thirds of the 100-Series have been knocked unconscious.
: MOMO? Who was the culprit?!
: You will be surprised to hear that it was… KOS-MOS.
: It was KOS-MOS? Impossible! What does this mean?
: I don’t know either. But there is no mistake that KOS-MOS has gone wild and that Allen is involved.
: I see. If KOS-MOS is our opponent, then there is no way I can sit here silently.
: You say that, but what are you going to do? You still can’t move, right?
: Though I’m still unadjusted, I’ll be able to move if the machine is restarted.
: I see, then just do it.
: What I’m saying is that you need to do it.
: Huh?!

Of course Allen is involved…

Ziggy thinks to himself.

This can only go perfectly, let’s do it.

: Hey, hey, don’t joke around! I’m not a technical specialist, you know!
: Don’t worry, neither am I. But right now, you are the only person I can trust.
: …I understand, but don’t complain if I break anything!
: I can’t say I won’t complain if you do that.

Several explanations later…

: Ugh!
: Crap, I got it wrong again!
: I told you it was different! How do I explain it to you so that you understand!?
: You are annoying! Be quiet! You left a novice to do it, so I’ll try to get it to work somehow! Shit, let’s try it again!

How you doing, Ziggy? Regretting your life choices right now?

I’ll take that as a yes. :smug:

: Shut up! Don’t talk to me right now! That here, this there. ‘!!’ Oh, it’s done!? Old man, it’s finally done!
: Good, then I will tell you the last step.
: Alright! I will free you right away!

Finally, we’re going to get out of here and sto-

I am nyat amused by this turn of events. Keep in mind, THIS IS CANON.

: KO, KOS-MOS!?
: Objective: Confirm movement to Ziggy’s chest… Nya.

Please don’t leave, this game is the CERO rating equivalent of an E.

: Wait a minute. Why are you here?

Well, this certainly is a thing that is happening right now… Ziggy, run away before the crazy cat lady gets you!

Maybe… wait what the hell do you even think about this situation anyway?

Thanks, Captain Obvious.

…Let’s try reasoning with the rampaging android. I’m sure that will work well.

: This is a warning… Nya. There appears to be a failure in your language function, Nya. It would be best to… adjust it at once, Nya!
: What are you saying? You aren’t yourself! Jr., quick, do the last step! There is something wrong with KOS-MOS!
: I, I know!
: Jr., you are interrupting… Nya. Please move away… Nyan.
: Uwa!
: KOS-MOS pushed Jr. away, and he fell to the ground. After that, she prepared to attack Ziggy.
: Stop it, KOS-MOS! Don’t get any closer to Ziggy!
: Jr. jumped on KOS-MOS to hold her down, but he was tossed aside by her strength.
: It hurts!
: It’s useless… Nya. Jr., you can nyaver stop me… Nyan!

KOS-MOS’s face is how I feel right now.

: KOS-MOS slowly approached Ziggy and jumped on him.
: This is crazy! What are you doing, KOS-MOS!!
: KOS-MOS sat astride Ziggy and began clawing at him.
: Ua! Stop! Stop it!

The screen fades to black as Ziggy gets knocked out by KOS-MOS… scratching him… Yup, let’s move on.

: Th, this place… Impossible. Is this a dream? This place… There’s no mistake, it’s from that time… Joaquin!? Where are you Joaquin!? Sharon!? Answer me!!

Well hey, there’s something actually meaningful to Ziggy’s character development in this game. I’m impressed.

: Why?! Why am I in this cursed place? Do I need to lose everything I had again? Joaquin, answer me! Joaquin! Sharon! Hold on, Joaquin! What happened? Answer me! Joaquin… Don’t die… don’t die!!!

The screen fades to white, with Ziggy waking up back in the maintenance room.

: Old man! Get a hold of yourself!
: Ziggy!
: MOMO?
: How are you feeling, Ziggy?
: I’m afraid not too well. I saw a nightmare I did not want to see.

Looks like the chair got completely mangled by KOS-MOS too, let’s take a closer look.

Well, that’s good to know and all… but what’s with the damage? Where’s KOS-MOS? How did we get knocked out by scratches?

: I don’t know. She said ‘nya, nya’ and left. Anyway, the reason why KOS-MOS acted like that was because she was hacked.
: MOMO, you lost consciousness. Are you alright?
: Yes, Shion saved me. But when I came here I was really surprised.
: I’m sorry. You were a big help.
: Hehehe.
.: Anyway, we can’t leave it like this.
: Right, the longer we wait, the more damage there will be.
: That’s right. You go search for Allen. It’s his fault that KOS-MOS has gone wild.
: Jr., are you going to stop KOS-MOS by yourself?
: Yeah, I feel bad for Shion, but I will be serious this time.
: Ah, I understand. MOMO, do you know where KOS-MOS and Allen are?
: Yes! Um, Allen is in Durandal’s dock while KOS-MOS is on the Elsa’s bridge.

We get to go beat up Allen? Neat.

Up until now, talking to people advances the plot. Now that we can actually move, we can finally go to that lovely B1 corridor. First, let’s get our bearings.

All right let’s talk to these two instead.

: I know, I’ve got it figured out.
: Ziggy, please don’t overdo it.

It’s so nice to have a change of scenery, even if it is just gunmetal grey.

: No use, the elevator won’t move.
: The Elsa’s mainframe is down, so the ship’s power is off.
: Can’t you make it move using auxiliary power?
: Probably, but without the controls on the bridge, I can’t do that.
: Damn, then we can’t go up.
: There isn’t another route?
: Um, I found one! Ahead of us is the cargo receiving dock. We should be able to leave from there.
: Great, you did it, MOMO!
: MOMO, stay here and get the elevator running. Jr. and I will go up to the receiving dock. I’ll leave the support to you.
: Okay, I understand.

We now have the option of exploring the lower levels of the Elsa at our leisure. The cargo loading dock is our ultimate destination, but let’s explore the other areas, starting with KOS-MOS’s control room.

Next, back to Ziggy’s room, because we haven’t had enough of that.

I’m not sure if he’s referring to the dream sequence or CAT-MOS here… Anyway, on to the Hangar.

Huh, seems someone has been trying to do damage control here, maybe it was Allen? Let’s go back to the corridor and see if we can’t just brute force that elevator door open.

Worth a shot… Let’s talk to the gang before heading out of the Elsa.

: Right, because she is who she is.
: Um, you two, please don’t overdo it. KOS-MOS has done some bad things, but you shouldn’t break her.
: Yes, I know.

Let’s get the hell off this shi-

…Sigh.

: Move away.

Ziggy kicks the door open with little effort.

: It’s alright. It was surprisingly easy to open.

The two of them head out onto the dock of the Durandal, which is in ruins.

: Jr., I will search for Allen for now. I’ll leave KOS-MOS to you.
: Ah, okay. When you meet Allen, tell him this: ‘I hate when people overdo things’.
: What does that mean?
: Heh heh, see ya!

With that odd request, Jr. runs off to presumably deal with KOS-MOS.

: I should deal with this situation immediately. The Durandal will surely be destroyed if she continues this rampage.

Lots of places to go this time, we want to make our way to the Foundation eventually, but we can’t just not go exploring for clues. Let’s talk to Mary and see if she has any more info.

: It’s cyborg.

I find it amusing that he is more annoyed at being called a robot than ‘old man’. Guess he’s used to the latter from Jr.

: Let’s not mind the details. There’s more to worry about.
: So, this was done by KOS-MOS, too?
: You’re right! I struggled with repairing the launch transporter, too! Geez, I have no clue what KOS-MOS is thinking!

Ziggy’s paternal instinct takes over, and we go immediately back to check on MOMO on the Elsa.

If we try to use the elevator, she just tells us it still isn’t working. Let’s go to the Durandal’s bridge instead.

Oh, hey Shelley. Didn’t see you there.

: The motherframe is down, and the 100-Series look like all functions have stopped. This place is no longer in any condition to be called the command center.
: At the moment, the bridge isn’t quite functioning. The 100-Series as well. Only a few of them are working normally. If the gnosis appear at a time like this… It is horrifying, don’t you think?

Good thing this game is campy as hell, otherwise that might actually be a possibility.

This is one of the few good looks we’ve actually gotten of the 100-Series Realians for more than like, two seconds in a cutscene.

: Can you fire the Rocket Punch, please?
: Can you shoot the Knee Missile, please?
: Who is remote controlling you?
: They have gone crazy.

All right, let’s get out of here before they swarm us. Maybe we can see what Jr. is up to on the Elsa. Let’s just take the main entrance and…

: Is anyone there? If I know you, be aware that it’s impossible to open the hatch now! It will take some time to repair!

Ok, so… how the hell did Jr. get in? Did he get in, then the door got destroyed? Keep in mind I’m going into each story blind, I haven’t recorded all of them ahead of time. Let’s head over to the Isolation Area and make sure the Zohar Emulators are safe.

Well, that’s at least one less problem to deal with. Let’s see if there’s any damage in the Residential area.

Ziggy is giving Allen a bit too much credit here, I think, but the will of the game dictates we can’t explore here anymore, so let’s actually go where it wants us to, the Foundation.

: Is that Allen? It’s lucky that I found him… Where is he going? That place is…

Ziggy’s communicator goes off with a ringing noise.

Alright, let’s see if the townspeople can confirm that it’s Allen.

No? Ok… Maybe we can go back and report our findings?

Alright Ziggy, fine, answer your communication, even though that will give Allen time to get away anyway.

: Ah, Ziggy! I saw KOS-MOS. It looks like KOS-MOS was infected with the same nano-virus as me. I will try to analyze the nano-virus right now.
: Understood. From this side, I’ve spotted the possible perpetrator of this incident.
: Ziggy, please don’t overdo it.
: I know, you too.
: Yes!

The communication ends, leaving us back to chase Allen.

: I’m sure Allen was headed in the direction of the Robot Academy.

Trying to go back to the Durandal just makes Ziggy say no again, so let’s talk to the townspeople, since we actually can.

Time to go after Allen for real now. We should be able to corner him now.

: Zi, Ziggy. Don’t scare me like that. Why so abrupt?

: Don’t make any sudden moves. Will you calmly answer my questions?

Got him! Again, trying to go to town makes Ziggy say no, so we’ll get his thoughts on the situation.

: What is your objective in this situation?
: Huh? What situation? I really don’t know what you are talking about.
: If you lie, there’s less of a chance for you to get away. However, it’s now clear that you are involved in this incident. As it stands now, there’s no way you can get out of this.
: U-um, it’s… Ah, MOMO!
: Huh?

: Hmm… You can’t trick me. Your opponent has the ability to think and act better than you.
: Oh…

Alright, I honestly don’t know what happened in this next part, maybe it’s the translation, I don’t know. I’m just going to give you the dialogue.

: Geez, how many times must this hand mess up…
: Um, construction over there it very weak.

There’s just zero transition from one topic to the next… I don’t know what happened here.

: Ziggy lost his balance and collapsed through a floor panel. While getting up he held onto a console and carelessly pulled a switch.
: Ah! Aaaaaah!
: This doesn’t look trivial. I have a really bad feeling.

I gotta say I love Allen freaking the fuck out in the background here.

Ziggy finishes getting up.

: Bad? What has started?
: The transfer will start soon!
: Transfer? What transfer?
: Of this institute!
: Idiot… Shouldn’t you think before you say something like that?
: Wh-why are you so calm?! Anyway, this is not important right now! Interrupt the transfer, please! I will stop the Transfer System!
: Alright. How do I do that?
: I don’t know! We need to search for a way to destroy the system!

I have a bad feeling about this.

Oh HELL no.

NO!

Oh goddamnit! Hope you’ve been paying attention class, because it’s time for a pop quiz! Answer all the questions and you get to see the ending! Fail, and you gotta do it again I guess, there’s no real punishment. There’s only 5 questions, and there’s no real point in covering them.

Somehow, doing that makes this mess all go away.

Oh man, finally. We’re approaching the end here!

Ah here we are, the real star of the show has arrived.

: The Professor and Scott found a dazed and burnt Ziggy standing in the room. Ziggy staggered as the Professor forced his way toward him.
: This old man… Certainly he is in charge of this academy. I’ll talk to him first about the situation and that it wasn’t my fault. If I run away now, I will be mistaken as the culprit of the explosion.
: Who is this man? I see, you’re the colony owner!
: No, it’s not like that.
: Eh, anyway, this body is interesting. There are a few things about it that catches my eye.
: This body is amazing! Even though it was caught up in the earlier explosion, there isn’t even a scratch!
: It’s obvious!
: You’re right, it’s obvious!
: Obvious?
: Yes, in order to pay for such damage, we want to borrow this interesting body of yours!
: I see. Um, if there is no other choice. What work do you want me to do? I can do any heavy lifting.
: What are you talking about? Come quickly! I want to know what is inside of your body!
: Huh? What? What are you wanting to do? Stop kidding around! Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Poor Ziggy… The screen goes to black and we find ourselves back in Ziggy’s control room.

: MOMO.
: Oh, Ziggy! Where have you been? Everyone was worried, you know.
: Um, I could say, but I don’t want to tell you what happened. Anyway, I would like you to readjust my body, please, to how it used to be.
: Heheheh, you’re strange, Ziggy. Alright, I’ll make you nice and shiny!

And with that, we end our first story. Next time: Maybe we’ll find out what chaos bought on his shopping trip![/details]

lrrose · February 1, 2017, 11:17pm

Oh wow. I’m getting hit by nostalgia. Xenosaga is a very flawed series of games, but I have a soft spot for it. I got a lot of videos to watch it seems.

Ikaruwa · February 1, 2017, 11:39pm

I cannot believe someone has the dedication to play through this whole series. I tried LP’ing just Xenogears and it felt like it’d be a lifetime’s worth of work.

ScurvyKip · February 1, 2017, 11:40pm

I started this back in like May of '13, so yeah. It’s a lot of time! I mean, I have sporadic update schedules, but still.

Zero-ELEC · February 2, 2017, 12:24am

I need to catch up with this LP. I stopped around the time you were fighting the Space Pope.

Also, Xenosaga Freaks is just silly.

Unpronounceable · February 2, 2017, 1:15am

I’m here, and am ready to continue to not understand what’s going on.

ScurvyKip · February 3, 2017, 10:54am

Time for a new update! Today we’re going to go shopping.

[details=Click for update!]Part 2: chaos’s Story

We start out in the cabin of the Elsa on this one, with chaos about to go shopping.

Oh… Good afternoon. Who are you in my head? Ah, it’s okay if you are surprised. I somehow know this. Heh, I’m a pretty quiet person. Did I embarrass you? It might not be very interesting if you stay with me. First, I’m going shopping at the Foundation, if that’s okay? Anyway, I will always act this way, if you don’t mind? Oh yeah, I still haven’t introduced myself. My name is chaos… Oh, you don’t need to introduce yourself. Somehow, I already know.

Alright, keep in mind, and this really does bear repeating, this is canon. So one of chaos’s abilities is being able to sense us, beyond the fourth wall. I feel like I’m intruding. Anyway, chaos leaves the cabin and moves to the Residential Area.

Both Shion and MOMO are making adjustments on KOS-MOS and Ziggy. Jr. should be working on the Durandal. I think Captain and the others are working on the bridge. I’m not sure if they are playing more than working. Everyone is very busy. First, I’m going to make a list of things that everyone wants to buy. Huh? Why am I making a list? Everyone is just so busy, but also I’d feel happy to see a smile on their faces.

First stop on our little errand run is the bridge, to figure out what the Elsa crew wants.

Hey, Captain. How are the adjustments going?
Well, not too bad. Right now, we’re waiting on instructions from Little Master. Nothing to worry about.

Sounds like they’re not too busy right now, I’m sure that they wouldn’t mind us asking them what they need. Let’s start with the good ol’ Cap’n himself.

Yeah. Do you need anything?
Sake!
I think we still have enough alcohol…
Idiot! That’s not enough to get drunk! Listen, it isn’t stingy buying a few bottles! Or barrels! Stock up on dozens of barrels!
Ehh, we’ll run up quite the tab again…

I think the Captain has a bit of a problem here… Maybe Tony will be less depressing.

Hahaha. I don’t think they sell any of those things in the Foundation.
Then cigarettes.

Tony is, well, narcissistic as always, but at least a pack of cigs wont be as hard to bring back as barrels of booze. Before we go, let’s see what resident nerdo Hammer wants.

We’ve only been eating curry lately. My body will turn yellow if I eat anymore. Oh, keep this a secret from Shion.

Now that that’s over with, let’s head down to the basement.

Everyone is busy. It’s best not to bother them too much.

Only two more stops on the Elsa left, let’s go pay Shion and KOS-MOS a visit.

Oh, chaos. What happened?
Nothing. I thought about going shopping. Do you need anything?
Shopping… Hmm. Oh, right! We’re almost out of curry powder. It would help a lot if you could replenish it.
Okay, Shion needs curry powder.
Buy a spicy curry powder, please.

Nice to see KOS-MOS looking normal and without cat ears.

Okay, I don’t mind.
Because many of our dishes are insufficient, it is necessary to replenish them, especially the curry plate.
KOS-MOS, you broke them in the dishwasher again, didn’t you? I warned you that you should watch out for your output control.
It isn’t a problem. They are acceptable losses.
That has nothing to do with it!
Hehe, I got it. I can buy a few dishes. Don’t worry.
I will be grateful.

Seems KOS-MOS still hasn’t learned from the Virgil incident…

[details=chaos goes and pays Ziggy and MOMO a visit, asking them what they want him to buy. If you want to reread this scene from Update 1, click this nifty dropdown!]

Oh, chaos!
Did something happen?
No, I’m going shopping, but I thought I would ask if you needed anything.
Are you planning on replenishing our supplies?
Yes, would you like me to get something for you?
No, I don’t need anything right now.
Um, I would like a frying pan. Actually, Shion has been teaching me how to cook, but the Elsa’s frying pan is too big for me.
Okay, MOMO wants a frying pan. Preferably a cute one.
Thank you very much![/details]

Now that that is taken care of, we can go to the Durandal and see what Jr. and crew wants.

A siren starts going off from within the ship.

What is that? It looks like something happened on the bridge. Shall we go take a look? Even though there is no sign of an enemy, something happened. I’m sorry, but we can go shopping later. First, let’s see what’s happening on the bridge. Shopping for friends is very important work. But remember, I’m not an errand boy."

We’re going to take a quick detour to the Isolated Area before that though.

Oh? It’s locked. There seems to be people inside. I wonder if everything is okay…? Hmm, I see. Something interesting is happening here. Let’s leave things the way they are for now.

Oh, did I mention that chaos also has the power of precognition? Yeah, he can do that as well. Let’s head on over to the bridge before this gets even more confusing.

Oh, is that you, chaos? Sorry, I have my hands full at the moment.
Yeah, it looks a little problematic. Are you alright?
Yeah, just some idiot tried to seduce Mama. Well, it’s not a big deal. With this many 100-Series here, it’s easy work. By the way, chaos, did you come here for an errand?
No, I was thinking of doing some shopping. I just came by to check if you wanted anything.
A life-sized Bunny plushie!
Huh, you want a plushie? Well, I think age isn’t a problem here…
Idiot, it’s for MOMO! When we were in the city the other day, she told me she would like to have it.
Understood, that’s one Bunny plushie.

Next up is our very own blonde with a southern accent, Mary.

Oh no, I wasn’t talking about a gift. I meant necessary supplies or other things…
What are you saying?! I, Mary, don’t need anything!

Alright then… How about you, Shelley?

Oh, that might be a bad idea. They are very busy, and I also hate to disturb others.

They’re busy. It would be best not to talk to them right now. Well, it looks like I can’t help with anything. In that case, I’ll go shopping now.
Ah, sorry about that.

I really like chaos’s matching bag. You rock that color coordination!

Well, let’s head back to the Elsa.

I wonder what they are fighting about. From this distance, I can’t hear their conversation. Oh, it looks like the Professor is leaving. Well, let’s put it in a place where MOMO will find it easily.
At that moment, it sounded like something fell to the floor. A disc had fallen from the Professor’s pocket.
That’s good. Now we just need MOMO to pick up the disc, and it will be okay. Huh? What did I just do? Well, that was just a prank. But it would have been dangerous if left alone like that. Well, let’s go.

Let’s go back to the bridge to see how the situation is. Also, if that didn’t make any sense to you, don’t worry, it’s not supposed to. I think we’re just supposed to keep this in the back of our minds for the rest of these stories.

Little Master is searching for the culprit now.
I think he’ll probably be back when his excitement calms down.
To hear that Jr. is excited about it makes me feel a bit uneasy. You weren’t able to identify the culprit?
It’s under investigation now. Well, if we can trace the specific scene of the crime, then it’s a matter of time before we catch him.

Did you already go shopping?
Yes, I got it done perfectly! I got everything that everyone asked for.

chaos, did you shop for the things we wanted?
Sorry, but you were busy, so I didn’t ask what you wanted. Next time, I will hear you out for sure.
Absolutely! That’s a promise!

Nothing else to do here, so let’s go back to the Elsa. Our destination is the Cabin to get all our bags sorted out, but let’s go check in on the others, shall we? First stop, KOS-MOS’s Control Room.

No, nothing. I just came to check without any special reason. Shion still isn’t back?
Yes, she still isn’t back. I’m currently in standby mode, continuing to supervise Allen’s behavior.
I see. Be careful.
Be careful? What should I be careful of?
Hehehe. No one knows what will happen to us in the future.

Everyone except chaos that is. Let’s go see Ziggy now.

Ziggy, this is what you’re doing? Counting?
Hmm… It’s you, chaos. I’m not counting anything important. MOMO was called to the bridge by the Captain. I think she’s busy, because she hasn’t come back. Or did you want to ask me something?
No, it’s nothing special. I wasn’t doing anything anyway. Oh, and I think some naughty boy will come here soon. He will definitely try to interfere with your counting.
Naughty boy? …I see. Only he could think of doing something like that. Thanks for the advice.

Let’s go to the bridge really quick and see if the Elsa was affected by any of this.

Not very well. Since there are abnormalities in the Durandal motherframe, all work has stopped here too.
Now MOMO has gone to the Durandal in order to check on its status.
I see. Damage has expanded this far.

Enough stalling, let’s go and get this organization done.

Done! Sorry for the wait. Now, a serious job awaits us on the bridge next. Better be prepared. What is going to happen? Well, it’s a bit hard to explain… Anyway, it could be dangerous to leave it alone. I think I’m going to lend a hand.

What is it, chaos? Everything is all right with MOMO here.
Um, but we shouldn’t force the task on MOMO alone.
Thank you very much for thinking about me. I’m very happy!

What, chaos? Do you know anything about the abnormality that happened on the Durandal?
Yeah, a little. But they said that Jr. is searching for the culprit, so I think it will be quickly settled.

chaos, did you buy the ‘Dreams and Hopes of Men and Women’ that I asked for?
Umm, unfortunately, they were sold out. Anyway, I bought you some tobacco.

The Durandal abnormalities are because of hacking, right?
That’s our Hammer. You figure it out?
Yeah, somehow. As a matter of fact, I tried hacking the Durandal’s mainframe before, but my attempt was completely defeated by the 100-Series Realians.

Did you finish shopping?
Yes, I’ve also carefully purchased a frying pan for you.
Really?! Thank you very much!

An alarm goes off on the bridge, sending the crew into a state of panic.

W, we’re being hacked! Someone is trying to interfere with the mainframe!
Hammer, expand the protective wall! Leave the controls to me!
Got it! I’ll leave it to you, MOMO!
Alright!
Hey, Hammer, you didn’t catch the enemy position!?
I’m doing it right now! Okkay, I found the whereabouts of the criminals! Tch! That’s impossible!
Hurry up and spit it out!
It, it’s being hacked from KOS-MOS’s control room!!
Shit. For what reason would they want to break into the Elsa’s mainframe?
Geez, I don’t get it! Why would they want to take over such a poor ship like this one? The only thing they could gain is its massive debt!
It’s no use! It’s helpless! They’ve completely taken over the mainframe! How does it look, MOMO?
They’re constantly surpassing the protective wall. With my reaction speed, I can’t protect it.
That’s impossible! No human can interfere with you, MOMO!
Then what is it? You sayin’ the culprit is a monster!?
Kyaa!

MOMO falls to the ground, unconscious.

Hey, are you alright!? Shit. Who was the fuckin’ bastard that did this?! What is Little Master doing!?!
chaos! Get MOMO away from here! Hurry up, and take her to the cabin.
Got it.
This is bad; this is bad! If MOMO couldn’t prevent it, then what can I do?!!

Anyway, I can’t not help MOMO. I need to get her to some place quiet so she can rest.

chaos carries her over to the cabin.

Um, it seems as though her attack was beyond my anticipation. I need to change my approach a little.

Shion…
How is MOMO?!
For now, she is stable, but…
She’s still unconscious, isn’t she?
Yes. While she was preventing the hacking, she was infected by a powerful nano-virus. Maybe because of that, I think her personality layer systems were affected.
MOMO…
Speaking of, is KOS-MOS alright? With MOMO in such a state, I thought something could happen to her too.
I’m sorry. I will go check on KOS-MOS’s state, and then I’ll be right back. I leave MOMO in your hands.
Okay, I understand.

Shion leaves the room.

In case you aren’t sure because chaos is vague on purpose, he’s talking about Allen, who is running in here this very moment.

Actually, the Elsa’s mainframe was hacked. MOMO collapsed while trying to prevent it.
Huh?! Ah, eh, MOMO did? Is she alright?
Well, her consciousness hasn’t returned yet.
Uh, ah… Wh, what do we do? Hey, isn’t there any way to help her? Hey, hey, ch, chaos. There is something that we can do, right?"
Allen, instead of worrying about MOMO, shouldn’t you do what you need to do right now?
Huh? But what is that?
It’s okay. I’m sure you will do everything right. I believe in you.
ch, chaos…
Ah, if you don’t hurry up, you will run into Shion. She will be back soon.
Urp, that’s bad. See ya!

Allen leaves the room, leaving us alone again.

Allen got out just in time, since Shion is back again, KOS-MOS nowhere to be found.

Oh, Shion. Well, she still hasn’t regained consciousness. How about you? Are there any problems with KOS-MOS?
About that… she disappeared. The adjustment tab is destroyed. I don’t think she is working under normal conditions…
I see. It doesn’t seem like an ordinary situation. Shion, for now, we can’t leave MOMO like this. Can you help her somehow?
You’re right, leaving her this way is dangerous. To bring back her consciousness, I would need to directly remove barriers from her Encephelon.
Then it’s decided. Can I ask you to treat MOMO? I will go search for KOS-MOS.
We aren’t well equipped. Allen isn’t here to support dive. I can say this isn’t a very good situation.
Then maybe you shouldn’t do it?
No, I’m not afraid. It’s to help MOMO. chaos, KOS-MOS… that girl, please find her.
I know. I think if we ask Jr., he could send MOMO to a suitable institution to help her.
It would take too much time. Both the Durandal and the Elsa aren’t functioning right. They need help as much as MOMO.
Then there is no other way.

chaos leaves the room, off in search of KOS-MOS.

Anyway, everyone will need to work hard to overcome this situation. She’s probably in a situation where she can’t be stopped by anyone. Therefore, let’s make her stop by herself. Well then, let’s get busy. First we need to store the frying pan MOMO asked for somewhere. Eh? You don’t know where? It will be in an unusual place for it. Sorry, but I don’t have time to further explain this. I’m not sure if I can. Anyway, for now, just believe in me.

Screw you chaos, I haven’t played the other stories so I don’t know where to put it! Anyway, before that, we’re going to go right back to the cabin, because guess who’s there?

Yup, it’s CAT-MOS again. HERE WE GO BOYS!

You shouldn’t be here.
chaos, it seems that I can communicate with you… nyan? However, other than you, no one could give me a decent nyanswer… nya. Is this, nya, some kind of joke, nyan?
Joke? Haha, I see. It’s like that. But I don’t think the strange one is everyone else.
Nya nya? Do you think this malfunction was caused by someone else nya?
Yes. The answer is already in your hands, too.
chaos… I cannyat understand the meaning of what you are saying.

KOS-MOS leaves the room, thank fuck.

We must do something quickly. She can’t stay in that state, right? Or do you like her this way?

Oh fuck off.

Let’s go and start looking for a place to put that pan. Maybe Ziggy’s room?

[details=Another duplicate scene from Update 1, click the dropdown if you want some extra dialogue from chaos!]

I told you it was different! How do I explain it to you so that you understand!?
You are annoying! Be quiet! You left a novice to do it, so I’ll try to get it to work somehow!
What are both of you doing?
Oh, it’s you, chaos. The old man is stuck, so I’m trying to help him with his adjustments.
I’m sorry, but I don’t have time to talk right now. Ugh! Cut it out! How many times are you going to fail until you are satisfied?
Shut up! Over there, right there, this here…
Ugh!
Crap, I got it wrong again!
It looks like a big pain.[/details]

Next stop, KOS-MOS’s control room.

First, we need to mount MOMO’s frying pan to the ceiling… It’s quite difficult to gauge good timing. Alright, it looks good. Well then, now we need the next action to happen. For that, we need to go to the Foundation. Hehe, are you surprised that you can’t talk? You look like you don’t understand why I did this. As I told you before, there is no time to explain this. There will be a time where you understand everything, but bear with it until then.

I don’t even know anymore. Let’s just go to the Durandal and get on that shuttle.

Confirming destruction of the launch transporter, completely blocking the route to the Foundation. Next will be a blockade inside the Durandal.
Just in time, the Durandal train arrived at the station. Behind the door as it opened stood Mary, exhausted.
That person… It seems to be Mary.
Suddenly, without hesitating, KOS-MOS pointed her gun in Mary’s direction.
Wh, what is this!?
Mary, please move away. I’m going to start attacking in the direction of the train.

No, I did not edit that image at all. That’s how it looks in game.

Completed blockade of Durandal’s transport system.

Please do not interfere. Now, the only thing left is to create a blockade for the Elsa.
Wanna make something of it?! I can’t stay still to such violence!
Because of this, the cat will run away again.
Are you ignoring me?!
Objective has fled to the Elsa. I’m sorry, but I cannot stay with you any longer.
Mary cries out and tries to grab at KOS-MOS, but she cannot compare to KOS-MOS’s strength. She is thrust away by KOS-MOS.
Aaaa!
Begin tracing objective.

This is kind of an odd part of the story, since it requires you to go back to the Elsa, and then back to the Durandal. Nothing happens on the Elsa, you just exit and reenter. Odd design choice. Anyway, we come back to find Mary yelling at Shion for KOS-MOS’s rampage.

Pardon? Am I her parent…?
You’re the one who created her. A creator is nearly the same as a parent!
It’s Mary and Shion. It could be a little problematic if they see me. It would be best not to get close.

Alright, time to head for the Foundation. Are you ready for some grade A Deus Ex Machina bullshit? Here we go.

It looks like the transporter isn’t repaired yet. Hmm, what am I going to do to make the transporter move?

I don’t like using it too much, but we are running out of time. Well then, let’s hurry!

So in case you missed it, not only does chaos have the power to sense beyond the 4th wall, he also has precognizance, and whatever the fuck this is. Like, just magically repairing machinery? Putting energy into it? Who knows? At least we’re finally at the foundation.

It seems like Ziggy is getting to the bottom of the matter. They’ll most likely go to the Robot Academy up the street. I will try to follow them unnoticed.

[details=If you would like to see Ziggy confront Allen again from Update 1, click here!]

Huh? What situation? I really don’t know what you are talking about.
Just as I thought. Now let’s hide and see what they will do.
If you lie, there’s less of a chance for you to get away. However, it’s now clear that you are involved in this incident. As it stands now, there’s no way you can get out of this.[/details]

First, this transfer system will activate and transfer this whole institution. I think you understand this situation. It will surely be catastrophic if this academy is transferred. We must stop it. That’s why, when the transmission starts, I’m going to cut the bypass.

It’s started! Okay, I’ll cut the bypass! Okay, disconnecting the bypass is complete! KOS-MOS, activate the Hilbert Effect!

Wait, what? How the fuck did KOS-MOS get here? You know what, I’m just going to assume this all gets explained in these other stories or else I’ll have an aneurysm.

An explosion in the Elsa hangar should have happened by now. We’re supposed to meet everyone there. You did very well, too. At this rate, we can make the finishing touch to this situation.

At this point, the game railroads you back to the Elsa’s hangar with nothing of note happening between here and there. So let’s just skip right there, shall we?

I’m warning you, please stay there and keep quiet. If you ignore my warning, I will need to use force.
Stop your mumbling! You punk! Don’t worry, I’ll abort you right now.

Oh, it’s dangerous. It’s already begun… Was I too late? Huh? You want to stop them quickly? No, wait. Doing that is his duty.

Allen, hurry! Stop Jr. and KOS-MOS!
H, huh?! But I feel like I would make it worse… Uh, chaos, would it be bad if I didn’t do it?
No one knows better than you. You have to do it, Allen.
Ah… as I thought.

How interesting. Come and try it!

Save Chi, Chief? Me? …Right! chaos, I’ll do it! I will die in the name of love!! Chiiiiieeeef!!

After what might be the lamest self-motivation speech ever, we fade to black and get dumped in the cabin of the Elsa again, right back where we started.

It was quite the busy day, but it was pretty exciting. Once in a while, a day like this is nice. Oh, yes. Now, you probably didn’t understand everything today, but if you keep some parts in mind. Then it will make sense. See you again.

And that’s it! That’s all she wrote for chaos’s story. Next time, we’re going to do KOS-MOS’s story and maybe we’ll get to figure out what the hell happened to her. Seeya then![/details]

Fabulousvillain · February 3, 2017, 7:30pm

I love how this picture alone just has a weird less detailed wikihow art style for no reason.

What is chaos even, some kinda space sorcerer?

Unpronounceable · February 4, 2017, 6:24pm

Nano machines, duh.

Zero-ELEC · February 4, 2017, 7:38pm

Xenosaga Freaks is silly as heck.

It’s dumber than that.

Fabulousvillain · February 4, 2017, 8:53pm

Good.

ScurvyKip · February 13, 2017, 12:16am

We’re over halfway done with the currently translated stories after this one. On one hand, SSLPs are a giant pain in the butt, but I’m glad I went through with it because I feel compelled to show this off.

[details=Click to read the update!]

Part 3: KOS-MOS’s Story

We begin our story in KOS-MOS’s Control Room, naturally, with Shion performing routine maintenance on KOS-MOS.

How does it feel, KOS-MOS?
The monitoring value is at normal levels, greater than 0. The higher number is 033; this value of error is acceptable. There aren’t any problems.
I see, then it looks good.
Thank you, Shion.
You’re welcome.

[details=Chaos comes to visit to ask the two what to shop for. It’s a repeat of Update 2, with a bit of extra dialogue from KOS-MOS and Shion. Click to read!]

Oh, chaos. Do you want something?
Nothing. I thought about going shopping. Do you need anything?

It’s just shopping. I wonder if something happened?
Shion, may I request for replenishment of our supplies too?
Huh? It’s unusual for you to ask for something.

chaos… I would like to replenish our supplies as well.
Okay, I don’t mind.
Because many of our dishes are insufficient, it is necessary to replenish them, especially the curry plate.
…KOS-MOS, you broke them in the dishwasher again, didn’t you? I warned you that you should watch out for your output control.
It isn’t a problem. They are acceptable losses.
That has nothing to do with it!
Hehe, I got it. I can buy a few dishes. Don’t worry.
I will be grateful.
Well then, I’m going shopping.[/details]

chaos leaves the room, leaving the two of them to continue adjustments.

An alarm goes off throughout the Elsa.

Huh? What’s going on?
An error occurred in the system. Adjustment tab features halted. Shion, you overdid it.
…I, I didn’t. I don’t think it’s my fault… maybe.
The maintenance unit’s main system is frozen. It’s probably impossible to continue working in this state.
KOS-MOS, are you all right?
Yes, the enclosure was cut immediately before feedback. There are no problems.
That’s strange. It’s impossible for the maintenance unit to freeze so suddenly.
Shion, it wasn’t due to a problem with the maintenance unit. It seems that an error occurred in the Durandal’s main frame which was linked to the system.
You mean something happened to the Durandal?
Yes, currently all lines with the Durandal are disconnected. Unless the link between the Durandal’s motherframe is recovered, returning to work will be impossible.
…I see. It’s a little problematic.
You don’t need to worry about me. Confirming the Durandal’s status should take the highest priority right now.
I can’t work anyway in this situation, so I will go see what happened on the Durandal. KOS-MOS, you wait here.
Understood.
I’m sorry, I will return soon and adjust you.
It is not a problem. Take care.

Shion leaves the room, leaving KOS-MOS to… do whatever she does by herself.

The maintenance unit’s main system froze. It’s probably impossible to continue working in this state. Turning on the wide area scanner. Now checking everyone’s status.

I confirmed MOMO and Ziggy in Ziggy’s control room of the Elsa. Along with Captain Matthews, Tony, and Hammer are on the bridge. Shion is now moving towards the Durandal’s bridge. I confirmed Jr. and chaos on the Durandal’s bridge. I confirmed Allen and two others in the isolated area.

ECM for anyone other than Allen isn’t specified. ECCM ON. I’ll start searching for data. Sensor failure due to continuing ECM. ECCM not effective. Data verification failed. Changing the frequency of interference. Deploying ECCM again. Sensor failure due to ECM. Continuing. Based on my sensor, I judged that it was impossible to specify the individuals. Two people will be authorized as UNKNOWN.

Well that was certainly a lot of words. Turns out KOS-MOS is a creeper. Shion walks back into the room, ending her surveillance session.

Welcome back, Shion. How was the Durandal’s situation?

It was hacked? In my opinion, there is a 70 percent chance that it was sabotage by enemy forces. Preparing for assault and shifting to alert mode.
Oh, it isn’t such a big deal. From what I heard, it was just a prank. But because of that, the mother frame is temporarily down. We can’t adjust values for a while.
Due to the situation, adjustments can be delayed. Until we can resume the adjustments, I will go into standby mode. This way, I won’t hinder the situation any further.
Yeah, you’re right, that will help a lot. I’m sorry you have to do that.
Shion, given the current situation, there is no reason for you to apologize. Don’t you think that the one who should be apologizing is the hacker?
Hmm, yeah, it should be like that. Well then, I’m off to the Durandal to rest a little. I’m looking forward to later. If something happens, call me.

Shion leaves the room again.

Understood. I will turn to standby mode now.

Time required to resume the work is unknown. Transferring to standby mode until I receive another order. Turning on the wide area scanner. Now checking everyone’s status. I confirmed Ziggy in his control room on the Elsa. On the bridge: Captain Matthews, Tony, Hammer, and MOMO. Jr. is in the Durandal’s isolated area. Allen is moving into Shion’s private room in the residential area. I confirmed two UNKNOWN beside Shion in her private room.

The intentions of Allen and the two UNKNOWN are unclear. Due to the situation, Shion must be warned. Initiating communication with connection gear.

What do you mean, KOS-MOS? Who are these suspicious people?
Due to the severity of the jamming in the area, it is impossible to identify the individuals.
Wait a minute. Is it a peeper? Or a molester?

I don’t think this criminal is that good at using such an advanced ECM system. Perhaps it’s because of the incident on the Durandal.
Even so, let’s try to focus. I’m sorry, but is there anyone who can help us?
Shion… We do not know the enemy force. Don’t you think it would be better to refrain from taking reckless actions?
…Even so, I can’t leave it like this!
Shion…
What, are you still wanting something?
For now, I think it is better to get dressed.
…I know.

I’ve begun tracing the two UNKNOWNS. I’ll verify trace back from the enemy. Sensor failure due to ECM. The two UNKNOWNS have disappeared from the radar. I confirmed Shion in her private room with Allen. Tracing the two UNKNOWNS has failed. Observed objective lost.
How does it look, KOS-MOS?
I’m sorry. The current position of the two UNKNOWNS is impossible to determine.
In order to avoid your searching ability, this enemy must be pretty good.

Shion hangs up, and Jr. comes into the room.

Are you searching for Allen?
Hm? Yeah, kind of. Do you know where he is, KOS-MOS?
Allen is currently in Shion’s private room on the Durandal.
Shion’s private room?! Is Shion there too?
Yes. They both seem to be alone in her room right now.
Hmmm, oh. Hehehe, that Allen…
If it’s an emergency, then perhaps I should call him?
No, don’t do that. Let’s not disturb them.
Disturb them? I’ve already sent Shion a warning because Allen’s purpose to be there is unclear…

Did… did KOS-MOS just cockblock Allen?? I’m… I don’t even know anymore.

Eh, you know… At times like this, you shouldn’t add water. It’s more important to watch over someone quietly.
Watch over? Understood. From now, I will refrain from interfering with Allen’s action.
Well then, I will go and do some wait-and-see.
Jr., you are being inconsistent. Didn’t you just say not to interfere with Allen’s actions?
Tsk, tsk, tsk, that’s no good. Remember what I said about watching over? I need to see if Allen screws up.
Understood. Behavior modified for monitoring Allen.

Jr. leaves the room, and Shion calls us back on the Connection Gear.

No, it’s nothing important. It’s about Allen…
About Allen? Maybe you want to know his current location. Should I begin searching?
Oh, no need. It’s nothing in particular. Anyway, I will be back there soon.
Understood. I’ll be waiting for you.

The call ends, leaving us to wait for Shion to return.

Shion and Allen aren’t doing anything in particular… Understood… Modifying behavior to stop watching Allen.

Allen walks in before Shion gets back here. Let’s find out what he wants.

Yes, I am currently waiting for instructions by myself.
I see… That’s good. Well then, I will continue the adjustments on you.
Would you like to resume adjustments? In that case, Shion is taking a break in her room. Shall I call her?
Eh?! No, no need to do that. That’s not necessary.
Not necessary? Wouldn’t Shion’s participation increase the efficiency of the adjustment work?
It’s okay. I can easily handle this alone.
Allen, I’m warning you. We should wait for instructions issued by the Development Chief. If a problem occurs while adjustments are made without Shion’s approval, the responsibility will fall on you, Allen.
What are you saying? I can’t make the adjustments just because Chief isn’t here? Won’t you take my orders?
No, the Vice Chief is allowed to make adjustments without a problem.
Well then, stay still. I’ll finish it quickly.
Understood.

We fade to black as Allen does his adjustments on KOS-MOS.

There is some muffled voices going on in the background, sounds like 2-3 people arguing about something. KOS-MOS wakes up after a bit, and Allen is there to greet us, nobody else in the room to be found.

System restart confirmed.

No problems detected. Everything is within working parameters.

Warning: someone is trying to interfere with the system. Expanding barrier and identifying contaminated routes. Attacks are coming from the Elsa and the Durandal. Barrier has been surpassed. I’m rebuilding the barrier. By following the contamination routes, I’m going to bring down the other systems.

The enemy’s identity is unknown. They seem to have the ability to process power comparable to the response of the 100-Series.

Scanning transfection. Checking the enemy’s mental barriers. Now launching an attack on the barriers. Securing bandwidth. Decoding barrier No.21 complete. Confirming barrier reconstruction. Continuing the approach. All barriers destroyed. I have confirmed the shutdown of the enemy’s system.

I hope you guys are ready for things to go off the rails. I’m not.

Yup. This is happening. Prepare for a whole fuckload of from here on out.

What’s the matter, Allen? I’m confirming that your heart rate has increased and your brain waves are disrupted.
Nya nya, nya nya nya!
Allen, is this some kind of joke? I cannot understand the meaning of your words.
Funya nya funya, fugya----!
Allen, desist this idiotic joke. It’s not even cute.

I’m. Ugh… Alright let’s get this shit over with. A cat suddenly appears in the room.

!.. I’m sensing a life form. I’ve confirmed a cat. Scientific name: Carnivora, Family: Felidae. If left alone, there is a 73.8% chance that it will disrupt the work of others. It’s best to capture it to avoid that risk. Capturing the cat has been recognized as top priority. I am not permitted to leave the room until then.

Initiating warning to target. Don’t move, please. If you resist then I cannot guarantee your life.

I am telling you, you don’t need to worry. I do not think that my warning is getting through to the target.
Fugya—! Futsu, fugya—!

Some crashing and banging occurs as KOS-MOS tries to catch the cat.

Capture of the cat has failed. The target has been lost… Allen, the cat disappeared. It was probably caused by the malfunction of the sensor. Please readjust me.
Gya—! Gya, gya, gya! Gya—!

Allen runs away, for good reason. I’d run away from a hallucinating android too.

Allen, please readjust me… Come back, Allen. Allen’s escape has been confirmed…

That cat appears again, seemingly out of nowhere.

Continuing capture.
Nya-
The cat’s escape has been confirmed. Tracking by radar is impossible. Begin visual tracking.

Time to get out of this room finally. Let’s go catch us some cats!

Pictured: how I feel when my gigantic cat sits on my back when im in bed.

Failure to capture the target. Target has fled toward the hangar.
Nya, nya—
I recognize Jr. lying beneath me. His breathing rate has decreased and his heart rate has increased.
Nya--------!!

Sorry Jr… Let’s go look some more for that cat. Maybe Ziggy has seen it?

Ziggy is confirmed in the middle of adjustments. I’m sorry, but did a cat come into this room?
Nya, nya-
I’m warning you. Ziggy, you seem to have contracted a functional failure in your language. I think it will get better after adjustments.
NYA-
I apologize, but I think communication with you is probably impossible in your current state. Excuse me.

Well that was fruitful. Let’s go to the upper floor and see if we can’t track that cat down.

Jr., I can’t get to the elevator because of your interference. Could you please step aside?
Nya-nya, nya-nya-nya!
Although I can’t understand your words, I know retreating isn’t an option.

Jr., may I ask a question? Allen was speaking the same way. Is this some special way of communication?
Nya-nya-, nya-nya-!?
I’m sorry, but, if it’s possible, can you speak normally, please? I do not have the ability to understand that language.
Nya-nya, nya-nya-
Apparently, you aren’t going to answer my question, correct? In that case, I’m going to continue my mission. Excuse me.

Only one more place left to look, the Hangar.

Confirming, target found. Initiating capture.
Nya-!
Capture failed. Motion performance of the target is beyond the prediction’s range. The basic data for normal cats can’t be accommodated in this situation. In order to reduce the target’s mobility, it’s necessary to shoot its legs. Equipping R-CANNON. Target locked! Output response is set at 30 percent. Beginning attack.

KOS-MOS shoots, and misses the imaginary cat.

Nya-! Fugya-!

Allen comes running into the room, presumably to attempt to fix the major fuck-up he just made.

I love the art in this game sometimes. This is gold.

Fugya----------!
Allen, why are you here? I can’t capture the target with you here. Please don’t interfere.
Fu, fugya fugya fugya fugya fugya-----!

Fugya-gya, fugya—gfugya-----!
Allen. I will get distracted and lose the target the longer I talk to you. Further conversation with you is just a waste of time.
Fugya-! Fugya–fugya-! Fugya—!
It seems as though you understood that. I’m grateful.

Well, the cat got away, let’s keep going after it! Back to the basement hallway!

The cat runs away yet again, leaving us to pursue.

I found the target. It’s confirmed on the first floor of the Elsa, by the elevator.

Well screw that, let’s go annoy Ziggy some more.

I’m detecting Jr. and Ziggy.

Nya, nya nya nya, nya-!
I’m sorry. I’m searching now for the stray cat. Was it not here last?
Nya-?! Nya-nya-!
Fugya!
No, I didn’t look for people acting like cats. Have you seen or heard any cats?
Nya-, nya-nya!
Understood. Let’s change the subject.
NYA-
I’m warning you. If you continue to act this way, others might be offended. Please stop it now.

Yeah, like me. Or probably anyone reading this.

Nya-, nyao-!?
May I ask you a few questions? With the language you are currently speaking, can you communicate with other humans?
Nya-, Nyao nyao!
I see, you can’t say it in a way that I can understand.

Enough screwing around, let’s go up to the first floor and get that cat.

Target, I’m warning you! You will go overboard if you use that hatch. If you leave this ship, I will not be able to guarantee your life.
Nya?
Understood. It’s useless, but I will make the effort and try to communicate with you. Nya-nya nya! Nya nya-nya, nya nya nya-nya nya nya- Nya nya, nya~?
Nya~
Target has escaped through the hath… As I thought, communication was impossible.

Yup. Let’s go and see what’s going on at the bridge.

Nya nya nya-! Nya nya nya nya-! Funya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya-!
Fugya!? Fugya-!!
I’m going to ask the captain. What are you yelling about?
Fugya-, fugya–!
Nya-nya nya-! Nya nya nya nya nya—!
It looks like the cat isn’t here. I’m sorry, but I don’t have time to play with you guys. Excuse me.

[details=Let’s go. Only one place left on the Elsa to look before we go to the Durandal, the cabin. This is a repeat of update 2, click if you want to read!]
I have confirmed Shion and MOMO. It looks like Shion is performing a dive into MOMO’s Encephelon.

chaos? chaos, it seems that I can communicate with you. However, other than you, no one could give me a decent answer. Is this some kind of joke?
Joke? Haha, I see. It’s like that. But I don’t think the strange one is everyone else.
Do you think this malfunction was cause by someone else?
Yes. The answer is already in your hands, too.
chaos… I do not understand the meaning of what you are saying.[/details]

Time for us to board the Durandal, and look for the cat. Let’s go straight to the bridge, I’m sure they would know where a cat would be.

Nya, nya nya nya-go.

Target confirmed. Excuse me. I will now catch the cat. Please do not interfere. Thank you for your cooperation. Everyone, please lie down. To prevent the target’s escape, everyone should remain still.
Nya, fugya~~~!!
Nya~, nya~
KOS-MOS’ unexpected attack on the bridge surprised everyone. Suddenly, KOS-MOS jumps on Mary.
Please stop. If you are going to interfere, then you will also take responsibility for your actions.
Nya, fugya~~~!!
It’s no use. At this rate, I’m going to miss the shot.
Fugya~~~!!

KOS-MOS fires again, destroying the bridge.

Nya-, nya-, nya-
Why did you interfere? Do you know how dangerous of an idea it is, to let a cat run free? I can’t understand your way of thinking.

This is real, and canon. Why. Let’s head back, now that we destroyed another location.

Acquisitioning target. If the cat contiunes running around freely, it will probably bother other people. Due to the intensity of the situation, I will block all exits.

KOS-MOS blows up the shuttle leading to the Foundation.

[details=If you want to see KOS-MOS blow shit up again from Update 2, click here.]

Just in time, the Durandal’s train arrives at the station. Behind the door as it opens stands Mary, exhausted.
Nyago!?

Nyago, fugya------!!
Completed blockade of Durandal’s transport system.

Please do not interfere. Now, the only thing left is to create a blockade for the Elsa.
Gya-fugya-!
Because of this, the cat will run away again.
NYA-!
Objective has fled to the Elsa. I’m sorry, but I cannot stay with you any longer.
Mary cries out and tries to grab at KOS-MOS, but she cannot compare to KOS-MOS’s strength. She is thrust away by KOS-MOS.
Fu-YA!
Begin tracing objective.[/details]

Time to get back on the Elsa. This cat is running out of places to run!

[details=Time to relive the horror of Ziggy discovering CAT-MOS for the first time. Click to reread from Update 1!]

Target confirmed.

Objective: Confirm movement to Ziggy’s chest.
Nya-, nyago.
Nya-nya-, nyago.
Nya!?
Jr., you are in the way. Please move away.
Nyago-!
KOS-MOS pushes Jr. away, causing him to fall to the ground. After that, she prepares to attack Ziggy.
It’s useless. Jr., you can’t stop me with your level of power.
Nyago nyago nya-!!
KOS-MOS slowly approaches Ziggy and jumps on him.

Nya…nyan?[/details]

Now that we completely knocked Ziggy out, let’s go to the bridge again, this cat has eluded us for far too long.

Nyago!?

Target confirmed. Switching power output to 53 percent to take out target’s legs. Beginning attack.

I’m not gonna be dishing out any money if you guess what happens next.

Shifting to close combat mode in order to capture the target.
Fu, fugya, fugya, fugya-!
Capturing target: complete.
Nya~n.

YES, we finally got it. We only had to destroy like six places to do it!

Low on energy. The cat has disappeared again.

Captain, even though the strategy failed, I still appreciate your cooperation.
Fugya, fugya fugya fugya–!

An android’s work is never done. Let’s go.

The cat’s movements have been traced inside the elevator. Confirming movement to the lower level of the Elsa. Since the bridge was badly damaged, it’s impossible to move the elevator. The target’s current behavior is inconsistent. I don’t understand it. In order to get to Elsa’s basement, I should use the cargo loading dock. The cat’s movements remain a mystery.

Since we have no way to get to the lower level from her, we need to go back outside to the Durandal.

Mary confirmed. Her normal mental state still hasn’t recovered. It would be wise to stay away from her. Cargo loading dock entrance confirmed. There is no problem with going through it since the opening is already destroyed.

Ah, this must be after Ziggy went to pursue Allen. Let’s make use of this and get downstairs.

Detecting the target. It’s moving toward the elevator. Conirming the 100-Series Prrototype, MOMO, in front of it. The target is now behind MOMO.

Nya nya? Nya-nya nya.
MOMO, you will interfere with the capture of the target if you stay here… Please move away.
Nya? Nya… nya? Nya-? Nya-onya nya-nya.
I repeat. Please leave this location. If you ignore this warning, I will need to use force.
Nya-nya nya… Nya-nya-nya.

Ignoring the terrified MOMO, KOS-MOS prepares her weapon for attack. Quickly, MOMO manages to dodge it.
Fugya-!
Target locked. Begin shooting the target.
MOMO’s body starts to emit light. This light surrounds KOS-MOS.
Confirmed expansion of the Hilbert Effect by the 100-series prototype. Various sensor functions have failed because of interference. It is impossible to continue the mission. Withdraw is recommended.

And so the cat escapes. Again. Let’s go to the hangar and finish this, shall we?

I have finally driven you into a corner. There is little chance for escape.
Nyago~
It’s useless. I won’t allow you to escape again.
Nyago~
WARNING! Detecting a large space distortion around the target. Confirming materialization of a huge, immeasurable mass. Something is going to gate out. Thirty seconds until the target gates out. If this mass gates out, the Elsa will collapse from the inside.
KOS-MOS, activate the Hilbert Effect!
Understood. Activating Hilbert Effect. Securing part of the gated-out mass. Output set to 84 percent. Destroying parts of gated-out object!

And once more, KOS-MOS destroys another room.

The cat… I lost it again…

Shion rushes onto the scene, maybe she’s figured out how to solved this problem.

FINALLY! We dont have to see cat noises anymore!

Shion… My external appearance is down 15 percent. I need to be cleaned.
Th-there is no time for that. Hey, listen, what’s going on? Are you having some abnormalities in your system?
No, there aren’t any problems. I’m currently in pursuit of a cat.
Cat? What’s that?
Cat. Scientific name: Carnivora, Family: Felidae. It’s a house pet with origins dating back to the Mesopotamian civilization.
No, I know about that… What has that cat done?
I know. It was a joke.
…As I thought, you’re acting strange. I never imagined that you’d tell a joke. And it was a lame joke…

KOS-MOS: Battle android, historian, teller of dad jokes.

Shion runs off to… I dont even know?

Shion… What happened? Why are you running away?
KOS-MOS, stop! Stay where you are!
Shion, your blood pressure and heart rate has risen. You are in an excited state. Aren’t you losing your composure?
KOS-MOS! Didn’t you hear what I said?

Shion… Please leave the area. I’m going to continue pursuit of the target.
W-wait, KOS-MOS! What are you going to do!? Stop it already!
Shion, I’m warning you. You are currently standing in the firing line between me and the target. Please move away from your current position as soon as possible.

Jr. rushes onto the scene to stop KOS-MOS, we’ll see just how well that goes for him.

Jr.!?
Jr., I’m sorry, but I can’t listen to your order. This mission has higher priority.
Hey, wait, KOS-MOS. Who gave you this mission? Calm down!
You’re the one who should calm down, Shion… Interference with the mission will be in direct violation of office regulations.
Stop! Don’t get any closer to Shion!
Stop it already, KOS-MOS!
Shion, please, evacuate from the hangar as soon as possible. This place will turn into a battlefield soon.
I won’t let you do what you please!

Don’t worry, if you’re lost, I am too.

Jr., I can’t understand your actions. I’m warning you, please stay there and keep quiet. If you ignore my warning, I will need to use force.
Stop your mumbling! You punk! Don’t worry, I’ll abort you right now.
Umm, hey, you two, don’t you think it’d be better to stop? Let’s calm down a little… It’d be better that way, don’t you think?
Then there is no other way. To achieve this mission, I will eliminate all resistance!
How interesting. Come and try it!
Will you two stop it already! The Elsa will be destroyed if you keep this up!!

KOS-MOS charges up her R-CANNON, firing at the two of them. Yes, KOS-MOS is resorting to murder to capture an imaginary cat.

Shion, look out! It’s heading this way!
Uaa! Wait, Jr… Don’t push me!
Shion is pushed by Jr. She loses her balance and falls to the ground. Weak from the explosion, the hangar falls over her head.
Kyaaaa!

Allen arrives in the nick of time to save Shion from the collapsing structure. Allen did a thing!

KOS-MOS, calm down. Jr. isn’t your enemy.
Acquisitioning the target. Locked on.
Hehe, this is exciting. I wanted at least one more fight with you!
It’s useless. You can’t win against me. Unlocking limiter, adjusting to maximum output.
Wh-wh-wh-wh-what are you doing?! KOS-MOS!!
KOS-MOS sets her sights squarely on Jr. He glares at KOS-MOS but stands compltely still. Within that moment, each one has their finger on a trigger…

MOMO coming in with the assist using her brand new frying pan!

Shion, it’s bad. Sensors need noise readjustment, please.
MOMO did hit too hard.

Goddamn, MOMO has some serious strength in those noodle arms. We fade to black, and find ourselves back in KOS-MOS’s Control Room.

KOS-MOS, how are you feeling?
There are no problems. Everything is within normal parameters.
Everything will be okay now. Activation of this program will stop the nano-virus.
Thank you very much, MOMO.
After this, we can finally take a break. Who would ever suspect that the main cause of this fiasco was Allen?
Vice Chief is currently undergoing questioning on the Durandal.
I see. Jr. and the rest will wear him out. Well, he caused so much trouble, so it can’t be helped. When he comes back, he will need to do a mountain of paperwork as an apology.
Poor Allen…
Don’t worry. Allen is stronger than he looks.

Shion, I think you fucked up, KOS-MOS is still telling bad jokes.

Some time later…

I can’t understand those emotions. I don’t think there is a difference between shopping and other missions. Rather, let’s continue shopping.
Hehe, right. Next will be curry powder that Shion asked for.

A cat…
Hm?
It’s a cat.
Do you like cats?
No, liking is not a feeling I understand… but, in this case, I think hate would be a better response. I prefer not to be involved with them too much.

There you have it. I don’t know how it was possible to make things even MORE incomprehensible than last time, but here we are. Next time, it’s MOMO’s turn.

Bonus audio!

Here’s all the cat noises strung together from this story, so you can understand just how much I suffered doing this.

And here’s something that happened when I imported all the lines into Audacity. Headphones warning:

[/details]

Unpronounceable · February 13, 2017, 1:40am

I’ve been trying to come up with words to describe my feelings about the update. I think I might have something by the end of the LP.

Seriously, don’t listen to that.

lrrose · February 18, 2017, 8:37pm

Well, I’m all caught up. I think I was being too generous when I called the games “very flawed”, but I still have the soft spot for them.

Is it bad that I’m pretty sure that CAT-MOS isn’t even in the top ten most anime things that are canon in Xenosaga?

GreatJoe · February 27, 2017, 9:57pm

Allen’s just the worst. The absolute worst.

ScurvyKip · March 3, 2017, 4:03am

Alright, we’re getting up to the point now where a good portion of this is going to be repeats from previous updates, so pardon if new content here seems a bit sparse. I’ll do the best I can to present it in a readable way.

[details=Click for new update!]
Part 4: MOMO’s Story

We start just like we did in the first update, doing maintenance on Ziggy.

[details=This contains the visits from chaos, Shion, and Jr., as well as when Captain Matthews summons MOMO to the bridge. All of this was in Update 1.]

: It’s good, though my left hand is experiencing lag. Reaction rate passes 0.022.
Left hand, huh? Fighting must have worn it out, so it’d be best to exchange it with new parts later.
Alright, I will.

chaos enters the room.

Oh, chaos!
Did something happen?
No, I’m going shopping, but I thought I would ask if you needed anything.
Um, I would like a frying pan. Actually, Shion has been teaching me how to cook, but the Elsa’s frying pan is too big for me.
Okay, MOMO wants a frying pan.
Thank you! Ziggy, what are you asking for? I asked for a frying pan!
Frying pan? What for?
For cooking, of course! Shion has been teaching me how to cook lately. I will make a lot of yummy things for you too!
I see. I’m looking forward to it.
Well, I’m going shopping. MOMO, I will get you something cute.
Ok, take care!

chaos leaves the room.

Alright.
Oh, Shion!

Did something happen?
https://lpix.org/2670436/Shion%20Icon.jpg It looks like there are some problems with the Durandal’s mainframe.
An abnormality? Perhaps something has happened to KOS-MOS too?
No, she is all right. You know, because she’s pretty tough.
Thank goodness… Shion, don’t do anything reckless.
Uh… What’s that supposed to mean?

Ziggy interjects, keeping the conversation on track. He cant hear very good during the adjustment, poor Ziggy.

Did something happen?
It looks like something has happened on the Durandal. Someone tried to break into the mainframe.
The enemy wasn’t there?
Umm, I think the fact that the government areas didn’t respond to the enemy’s power is a good thing. With Shion in such a rush, maybe she caused it.

Shion leaves the room.

You’re right, people are just coming one after the other. Ah! What’s wrong Ziggy, are you hurt somewhere?
No, it’s just getting lonely somehow.
Oh, it’s Jr. this time.

Jr., did something happen to the Durandal?
No, it was just a prank. It isn’t a big deal.
It was just a prank?

MOMO turns to Ziggy again.

Is the Durandal’s condition bad?
No, damage itself isnt so bad. There is no need to worry.
Thank goodness.

Jr. leaves the room.

Ok!

The intercom kicks on.

Hey, is Miss 100-Series there?
Oh, Captain! Has something happened?
Sorry for asking, but we need your help on the bridge. I’m counting on you!
Ziggy… I’m sorry. May I go to the captain for a moment?
Yes, I don’t mind. Don’t worry about me.
Then, please bear with it for the moment. After this, I will make you shiny!
I know…[/details]

Before we go to the bridge, we’re gonna stop in and see KOS-MOS.

There is currently some abnormality on the Durandal. Because of that, my adjustment work has been suspended.
Oh, you’re talking about the motherframe. I heard about that from Shion. She had to go to the Durandal.
Yes, I was ordered to remain in standby mode until she returns.
KOS-MOS, you’re like Ziggy. He is waiting in the middle of his adjustment too.
Who ordered this?
Um, I asked him.
Understood. Ziggy is currently waiting because of MOMO’s order.
What!? Ziggy is following my order? But I don’t have the authority to give him orders…

I can hear the laugh track now. Anyway, next stop, the Durandal’s bridge.

Oh, Bunny!
Huh, Bunny? Um, I’m MOMO, not Bunny!
Ah, don’t worry about that; it’s just something we talked about earlier. If I say anything more, I will get punished by Little Master later.
Jr. would… punish you?

Abort, abort, quick, change the subject!

Umm, I heard there are some problems with the motherframe.

Phew, nice save.

That’s right. MOMO, I’m sorry. We can play together after fixing all of this mess.
Ah, don’t worry about me.

MOMO talks to Shelley, maybe she has some more info.

Umm, how is the situation looking?
You’re worried about it, aren’t you? Thank you very much for the concern.
Umm, can I help with anything?
No need to, everything is all right. With so many of your sisters here, we can remain calm.
Attract inhibitor output at 130 percent! Restart scanning of infection route!
Everyone is amazing. I couldn’t expect less from my sisters.

Next on our tour of not going to the Elsa bridge, the Zohar Isolation Area.

Oh, MOMO? Unfortunately, I don’t have time to play. Sorry.

Jr. runs off, without even saying goodbye, the jerk.

Ah, Jr! …Has something happened?

Time to go to the Elsa’s bridge, finally.

Oh, you finally came. Go, sit beside Hammer and adjust the sensors. I’m counting on you.
Understood!
The Durandal has an abnormality? I didn’t notice it at all. There aren’t any problems here. No need to worry about it.
So, it would be okay to not worry about it?
Anyway, little miss, hurry up and make the adjustment!
Ah, right! Hammer, please watch over me while we work!
No, no, you being here has really saved me. Our captain has a habit to push all of the work on others and not do anything himself.
I heard that, you idiot!

The captain kicks Hammer in the head just because.

That hurts!

Something the matter, MOMO?
We can’t adjust because of an error. I think it’s probably because the link with the Durandal’s motherframe was cut off.
What? You mean there’s no response from the motherframe?
That’s right… It’s probably because of the abnormalities that occurred on the Durandal.
Hey, hey, don’t even joke about that. We can’t do any damn maintenance because of it. Little miss, sorry, but you need to go to the Durandal’s bridge and ask about the situation.
Ah, ok!
Geez, what are they doing? When will we be able to go and make some money?
That’s right, you won’t be able to pay off your debt if this keeps up. Umm, if you want, you can have my pocket money.

…Idiot. If I did that, I would be killed by Little Master and the cyborg.
MOMO, I’m sorry, but you should hurry. If we keep waiting like this, I’ll go crazy!
Hm, right! I’ll hurry up!
Don’t worry about it, MOMO. That guy’s head was already messed up to begin with. The motherframe’s abnormality can be checked here too. It doesn’t look like a mere accident either.
No way, do you think it was an attack? But there aren’t any signs of enemy forces around here, right?
Well, being on guard won’t hurt.

Now we need to go back to the Durandal’s bridge… Let’s go not do that.

Shion is currently in her room along with Allen.
I see. Poor KOS-MOS, you’re alone… I will call those two here for you!
Shh, shh, shh! MOMO, you do not understand the situation. Under these circumstances, we can’t interfere with Shion’s and Allen’s actions.
Huh, really?
Yes, that was Jr.'s suggestion.
Hmm… Why can’t we interfere?
Jr. said not to interfere, but to monitor them.
Monitor? Hmm, that is complicated. I don’t really get it.

Seems pretty obvious to me. Let’s go see Ziggy and let him know we’re gonna be a little longer.

[details=Another part from Update 1, go ahead and click to read.]

Oh, MOMO? I’ve been waiting for you. Sorry, but could you quickly…
I’m sorry, Ziggy! Please wait a little longer before we continue your adjustment.
Oh… Alright, I don’t mind. Your work is more important.
I’ll get back as soon as I get done.[/details]

Next stop, the Durandal, but we get interrupted as soon as we step off the Elsa.

And we get run into by none other than…

Ah, I’m sorry! Are you alright?
It hurts. My butt is going to be red later thanks to that! If I was a large-scale combat vehicle, I would have turned into a scrap heap.
Um, I’m sorry… Ah!? You’re Robot Academy’s Professor!
Huh? Hm? Do we know each other from somewhere?
Yes, I’m MOMO. 100-Series Realian, MOMO. Don’t you remember?
MOMO? But my favorite food is white peaches…

Been a while since we’ve seen a pun. About time.

Oh, Scott. Good afternoon!
Huh, ah!? 100-MOMO? Go-good afternoon! Um, we are in a hurry. I’m very sorry!! Hey, Professor, please hurry up. He, hehe…
Scott seemed to be hiding something. While dragging the Professor with him, Scott left an artificial smile.
Eh? …what’s going on? Did something happen?

CLACK

Huh? Did something fall on the floor? What’s that? It looks like some kind of control disc… Did the Professor drop it? I’ll give it back later. Ah, anyway, I need to get back to the bridge now!

Seems that those two had more to do with this than initially thought… It’s no doubt Allen couldn’t cause all this on his own. We’re going to go to the Residential Area really quick before we hit the bridge.

Before MOMO called out to Shion, she remembered her talk with KOS-MOS from earlier.

Ah, that’s right. She suggested to watch and not interfere.

I’m so glad this is more lighthearted and not convoluted as hell.

No, it’s nothing important. It’s about Allen… Oh, no need. It’s nothing in particular. Anyway, I will be back soon.
It seems as though she is communicating with someone. I wonder what that was about? Did something happen to Allen?

Alright, time to check in on the bridge.

Um, I didn’t come to play. I came because of Captain Matthews’s request…
Captain Matthews’s request?
Yes. Because of a lost link to the motherframe, the Elsa can’t be adjusted. I came to check on the situation.
I see. That’s a bummer.
Um, as I thought, it was caused by the abnormality, right? Did something happen to the motherframe?
Don’t worry, MOMO. We cut off functionality of the motherframe temporarily because someone tried to hack it.
Yeah, that’s right. It will still take more time to restart the motherframe. Sorry. Pass that on to Captain Matthews. Well, it’s probably just a prank. It’ll be all right. Little Master is looking for the culprit right now.
Did you find the culprit?
No, but with Little Master’s excitement, I believe he’ll find him soon. Between those two, I would worry more over Little Master’s over-enthusiasm.
It’s okay, MOMO. We’ll protect the motherframe.

Let’s report back to the Captain. Back to the Elsa we go!

!?
Allen noticed MOMO when she called his name. Without losing a second, he hurried into the elevator.
What am I going to do? For some reason, both Shion and Allen are acting weird.

We could follow Allen to KOS-MOS’s room, but he was smart enough to lock the door. Let’s just go report our findings to Matthews.

Yes. But it’s just a prank, so we’ve been told not to worry about it. Jr. is already looking for the culprit.
What, then it’s no use. There is nothing we can do. Little miss, adjust as much as possible.
Ok!

Little Master is searching for the culprit? I feel bad for whoever it is. It will be like running into a beehive.

I see, someone was hacking. That explains why the motherframe’s bypass was cut. Well, that’s why the 100-Series are here. They make the perfect protection.

As soon as we start to make adjustments, an alarm goes off in the Elsa.

[details=The Elsa gets hacked by KOS-MOS in this scene from chaos’s story in Update 2. Click to read.]

W-we’re being hacked! Someone is trying to interfere with the mainframe!
Hammer, expand the protective wall! Leave the controls to me!
Got it! I’ll leave it to you, MOMO!
Alright!
Hey, Hammer, you didn’t catch the enemy’s position!?
I’m doing it right now! Okay, I found the whereabouts of the criminals! Tch! That’s impossible!
Hurry up and spit it out!
It-it’s being hacked from KOS-MOS’s control room!
Shit. For what reason would they want to break into the Elsa’s mainframe?! What are the Durandal guys doing?!
Geez, I don’t get it! Why would they want to take over such a poor ship like this one? The only thing they could gain is its massive debt!
It’s no use! It’s helpless! They’ve completely taken over the mainframe!
MOMO desperately tried to prevent the enemy’s attacks. With and unusually stern look in her eyes, she focused only on the console before her.
How does it look, MOMO?
They’re constantly surpassing the protective wall. With my reaction speed, I can’t protect it.
That’s impossible! No human can interfere with you, MOMO!
Then what is it? You sayin’ the culprit is a monster!?
Kyaa!

Hey, are you alr…g…[/details]

MOMO fell unconscious, and we wake up in…

Oh HELL NO. Nope. I was promised I was done with Xenosaga II!!!

A cat?

Ah, it’s Sakura! Haven’t seen her in a bit.

Who… are you? Somehow… I feel slightly nostalgic. Ummm, I’m 100-Series Realian prototype MOMO. What is this place? Could you tell me your name?
Hearing MOMO’s voice, the girl smiled. Without uttering a word, she ran off into the field.
Ah, wait! Such a soft… warm feeling. This is the first time I’ve been in this place but it feels like I know it from the past… It feels like it’s a very important place…

Alright, let’s get this over with and go after her, into the house we go.

…Excuse me.

Jr…?
It’s ok, already…

For once I’m glad to see Shion, anything to get out of that nightmare.

Nn, a, Shion?
How are you feeling?
Umm, it looks like I’m okay!
Thank goodness… For a moment, I didn’t know if everything had gone right.
You came to help me! Thank you very much. It makes me very happy!

Ah, right! Is everyone safe!?
Yes, for now, everyone is fine.
Thank goodness… There was a sudden interference with the motherframe. I tried my best to prevent it.
Yeah, I know. But if you couldn’t prevent it, they couldn’t have been human.
Because… it wasn’t human.
What do you mean, MOMO?
The results of the scan before before I collapsed indicated the access point from the mainframe where the attack originated. It was from KOS-MOS’ control room.
!? …No way, it was KOS-MOS?
There’s no doubt… It was KOS-MOS. She’s probably been infected with the same nanovirus as me.
No… That girl was… MOMO, do you know where KOS-MOS is?!
Yes. Ummm, she’s moving on to the Elsa’s lower floor. I will go there too and support Ziggy!

That’s all well and good, but we gotta make sure the others know we’re ok. Let’s go to the bridge.

MOMO!!
MOMO! Thank goodness, you’re safe.
Seriously, I was worried for a moment.
Yeah, thank you for worrying about me!

Hey, you two! There’s no time to talk or rest!
Um, how is the ship’s status?
It’s not for you to worry about. You should go and rest. We will try to do something about this.
Captain… You really are worrying about me!
Do-don’t say such stupid things. I said that you would be in the way of our work.

Awww, even the captain is a big ol’ softie.

Oh, while you were sleeping, both the Elsa and the Durandal were damaged.
I’m sorry. If I had only tried harder, I would have been able to protect the Elsa…
What are you saying? It could have been much worse. It’s not such a big deal.
It’s good that you are okay, MOMO. For a moment, I thought the worst.
Thank you for worrying about me!
Now, because KOS-MOS is on a rampage, try not to wander around too much.

With that out of the way, we can assess the situation on the Durandal.

Hey, you there! This road is blocked now. Hurry up and leave the area!!
Oh, Mary!
Ah, it was you, MOMO? As you can see, this dock is blocked right now. Sorry, I need to do something about this first.

With nowhere else to go, let’s go check in with Ziggy.

MOMO! You’re safe!
Ziggy!? Jr., what happened here?
KOS-MOS suddenly… old man was… Uuuh.
Huh, you’re not saying that Ziggy is…?

MOMO gives our old friend a once over, just to make sure.

Damnit, old man. We will avenge you!
Jr! Ziggy is still alive!
Huh, really?
That’s right! He’s just unconscious from shock. Ziggy, I will save you right now!
MOMO, how does it look? Can you help the old man?
It will be alright. I will definitely help him!

Ziggy wakes up, to MOMO’s relief.

[details=This is the part where Ziggy busts out of the Elsa in Update 1 and also the subsequent encounter between MOMO and KOS-MOS in Update 3, click to read.]

MOMO…?
How are you feeling, Ziggy?
I’m afraid not too well. I saw a nightmare I did not want to see. KOS-MOS was… What happened after that?
I don’t know. She said ‘nya, nya’ and left. Anyway, it’s clear that KOS-MOS wasn’t acting normal.
MOMO, you lost consciousness. Are you alright?
Yes, Shion saved me. But when I came here I was really surprised.
I’m sorry. You were a big help.
Hehehe.
Anyway, we can’t leave it like this.
Right, the longer we wait the more damage there will be.
That’s right. You go search for Allen. It’s his fault that KOS-MOS has gone wild.
Jr., are you going to stop KOS-MOS by yourself?
Yeah, I feel bad for Shion, but I will be serious this time.
Ah, I understand. MOMO, do you know where KOS-MOS and Allen are?
Yes! Um, Allen is in the Durandal’s dock while KOS-MOS is on the Elsa’s bridge.
Listen, your opponent is KOS-MOS. You better not underestimate her.
I know, I’ve got it figured out.
I managed to save Ziggy. I’m so happy.
Yeah, you did great work.
Thanks!

The three of them leave, moving into the corridor.

No use, the elevator won’t move.
The Elsa’s mainframe is down, so the ship’s power is off.
Can’t you make it move using auxiliary power?
Probably, but without the controls on the bridge, I can’t do that.
Damn, then we can’t go up.
There isn’t another route?
Um, I found one! Ahead of us is the cargo receiving dock. We should be able to leave from there.
Great, you did it, MOMO!
MOMO, stay here and get the elevator running. Jr. and I will go up to the receiving dock. I’ll leave the support to you.
Okay, I understand. Um, you two, please don’t overdo it. KOS-MOS has done some bad things, but you shouldn’t break her.
Yes, I know.

Jr. and Ziggy leave, and we’re tasked with getting this damn elevator working.

Oh, hey CAT-MOS, long time no see.

Ko-KOS-MOS!? What happened? Everyone is worried…
MOMO, you will interfere with capture of the target if you stay here nya… Please move away nya.
…Nya? Nya… you say? Ummm… What happened nya? Everyone is worried nya…

MOMO is trying her best, and is also the only one so far to actually get what’s happening, besides chaos but fuck chaos.

I repeat nya. Please leave this location… nya. If you ignore this warning, I will need to use force nyan.
No use nya… She won’t listen. It seems there is an abnormality in her language program.
MOMO has ignored my warning nya. From nyaow on, capturing the target takes top priority… nya.
Ignoring the terrified MOMO, KOS-MOS prepares for an assault. Quickly, MOMO manages to dodge the attack.
Don’t do it! Stop, please!
Target locked. Begin shooting the target.
It’s impossible to outrun KOS-MOS in this circumstance. I’ll need to use my last resort!

MOMO’s body starts to emit a light. This light surrounds KOS-MOS.
Nya, nya! Confirmed expansion of the Hilbert Effect by the 100-Series prototype nyaa. Various sensor functions have failed because of interference nyan. It’s impossible to continue the mission. Withdraw is recommended nya.
Ah, KOS-MOS! Please wait!

CAT-MOS runs off, and MOMO decides to get in contact with Ziggy and update him on the situation.

Ah, Ziggy! I saw KOS-MOS. It looks like KOS-MOS was infected with the same nanovirus as me. I will try to analyze the virus right now.
Understood. From this side, I’ve spotted the possible perpetrator of this incident.
Ziggy, please don’t overdo it.
I know, you too.
Yes![/details]

There’s only three places we can go from here. The hangar, where KOS-MOS is, Ziggy’s control room, which has nothing of interest past this point, and KOS-MOS’s control room. Let’s go to the hangar first.

But I’m detecting signs inside! KOS-MOS? Are you in there!? Ah! Um… Are you in there nyan? No use, she doesn’t understand what I’m saying nya…

Well that was fruitful. Let’s go to KOS-MOS’s room and investigate.

If I investigate this adjustment tab, I may find a clue.

BOOM

Kya!
Thrown off balance by the impact of the explosion, MOMO falls to the ground.
Explosion in the hangar? Please don’t let it be KOS-MOS!
The frying pan falls from the ceiling and lands on her head.

chaos!!!

But this frying pan, it’s the perfect size for me. I wanted one like this.
The item inside MOMO’s pocket falls to the floor.
It, it looks like something fell… Oh, that’s the Professor’s disc… Ah, no way… maybe…

If i use the function of this adjustment tab, I can perform an analysis on this program.

One quiz later…

Clutching the frying pan, MOMO finds her resolve to fight.
Alright! KOS-MOS, I’m going to save you now!

Time for us to go over to the Hangar for the final showdown.

[details=If you want to see the showdown between Jr. and KOS-MOS in Update 3, click here!]

KOS-MOS, calm down. Jr. isn’t your enemy.
Acquisitioning the target. Locked on.
Hehe, this is exciting. I wanted at least one more fight with you!
It’s useless. You can’t win against me. Unlocking limiter, adjusting to maximum output.
Wh-wh-wh-wh-what are you doing?! KOS-MOS!!
KOS-MOS sets her sights squarely on Jr. He glares at KOS-MOS but stands completely still. Within that moment, each one has their finger on a trigger…[/details]

Two resounding CLANG noises can be heard echo through the hangar.

Calm down, both of you, please! Fighting is bad! If you won’t listen to me, then I’ll, I’ll…
No, MOMO. You should calm down too… Anyway, this frying pan… Where did you get it?

MOMO… you um… you literally knocked out KOS-MOS. That’s really impressive.

No, it was enough. They’re both lying unconscious.
MOMO, I’m sorry, but due to noise, I can’t hear you very well.
Uh, I’m sorry.

Ok… so they’re not really unconscious.

MOMO, you did a great job stopping those two. Still, I think you hit a little too hard.
…hehe.

Jr.! Jr.! Please, wake up!
Ughh…
Really, it was a brutal attack. MOMO has such a strong power inside of her.
Um, I went berserk. Next thing I knew, Jr. and KOS-MOS were on the floor…
Anyway, I need to be careful and not anger you from now on.

We fade to black, and find ourselves working on KOS-MOS with Shion.

[details=If you want to see this scene from Update 3 again, click here.]

KOS-MOS, how are you feeling?
There are no problems. Everything is within normal parameters.
Everything will be okay now. Activation of this program will stop the nanovirus.
Thank you very much, MOMO.
After this, we can finally take a break. Who would ever suspect that the main cause of this fiasco was Allen?
Vice Chief is currently undergoing questioning on the Durandal.
I see. Jr. and the rest will wear him out. Well, he caused so much trouble, so it can’t be helped. When he comes back, he will need to do a mountain of paperwork as an apology.
Poor Allen…
Don’t worry. Allen is stronger than he looks.[/details]

We fade to black and find ourselves on the Durandal’s bridge.

Ah, Jr. Oh? What happened to you?! Why is your cheek all red.
Ah, don’t worry about that. More importantly, take this…
Oh, a life-sized Bunny plushie!

Those things are horryfying Jr. why would you do this?

You said you wanted this, right? Because I caused you so much trouble, please accept this.
Um, thank you very much! I’m very happy!
Narrator: Jr. looks around because he felt someone looking at him. At the corner of the room stood KOS-MOS, staring at Jr. and MOMO.

…
Did something happen?
No, just KOS-MOS staring this way.
Staaaaaaare.
Ah, didn’t you teach her this, to keep monitoring without interfering in situations like this?
…
But, being monitored by everyone… is a little embarrassing.
Everyone!? Everyone…

And that’s it for MOMO! Honestly, this one was a breath of fresh air after chaos and KOS-MOS. Next time! Jr.'s story![/details]

Unpronounceable · March 3, 2017, 5:21am

…

You mean a passive aggressive gift isn’t appropriate payback for getting knocked out by a frying pan?

ScurvyKip · March 27, 2017, 3:02am

Alright, time to finally finish this shit, at least until the maybe eventual time when the other two stories are translated.

I’m going to try something different with the formatting here, cutting out most of repeat stuff entirely, just trimming it down to the bare essentials. All unique content will be shown in full, however.

[details=Click for update!]

Part 5: Jr.'s Story

We start our story on the Durandal’s bridge where they are, guess what, doing maintenance.

What the?
What’s wrong? Is it an enemy attack!?

What? Mama’s been hacked!? Mary!
Alrighty! Scanning for the source of the infection. Hurry and deploy a firewall! C’mon, c’mon, get to work right away now!

How’s Mama doing?
Little Master! I’m tellin’ you, it’ll be fine even if you don’t bother yourself over it. There ain’t a single opponent out there who can beat these gals!
Does it look like we can identify the intruder?
About that, our scan is being blocked entirely. If there is only one perpetrator of the crime, they are quite skilled.
Any signs of the enemy around here?
No signs of the enemy in peripheral sectors. No observable traces on the U.M.N., either. There’s certainly a chance that the intruder is working from within.
So you’re saying, the criminal is within the ship.

chaos walks up to the bridge

Oh, is that you, chaos? Sorry, I have my hands full at the moment.
Yeah, it looks a little problematic. Are you alright?
Yeah, just some idiot tried to seduce Mama. Well, it’s not a big deal. With this many 100-Series here, it’s easy work.
Well, it looks like I can’t help with anything. In that case, I’ll go shopping now.
Yeah, thanks!

chaos takes his leave.

Little Master, I get that Bunny is important and all, but how about the culprit?
I got it! I need to go out and search, right? You guys, just get on identifying the enemy!
My, my, seems like there’s nothing on Little Master’s mind but MOMO~! If it’s that important, you ought to go buy the plushie yourself!
Sh, shut up. As if I’d do something so embarrassing!
Little Master. Rather than MOMO, let’s worry about the Durandal now.
I told you, I got it!
Little Master, is only MOMO special?
We would also like presents.
I got it! I got it, so you don’t need to say anymore, okay! If you guys do your job well, I’ll buy you whatever you want, already!!

Time to get off this bridge and go see if anything happened on the Elsa.

Ah, well, a bit. I didn’t really come on business or anything.

Did you say something?
I didn’t say a word!
Nothing in particular!
Abnormalities on the Elsa? There hasn’t really been anything out of the ordinary.
Is that so. Well, as long as there’s no problem.
Well, now that I think of it, the sum of my debt is quite abnormal! Yes, that’s quite the problem! Can you do something about that?
Not a chance!
Abnormal? You mean Hammer’s head, right?
Tonyyyyyy! What did you just say!?
Ah, seems like his ears are functioning normally.
Little Master, it’s useless to try and hide it. The mother frame was hacked, wasn’t it?"
Heh, as expected of you. You noticed?
The bypass to the motherframe has been totally down, after all. It would be stranger if I hadn’t noticed it.

Where’s Shion?
Shion went to the Durandal in order to check the situation.
What, we must have passed each other?
Did something happen to the Durandal?
Yeah, the motherframe was hacked. Oh well, don’t worry about it. It’s just like a kid’s prank.
A prank? It would not be incorrect to call it a disruptive activity of the kind you yourself often carry out against others, Jr.

Hey, that was a pretty good burn, KOS-MOS!

You say that with such a straight face…

Nothing new to see here, let’s hoof it back to the Durandal and go to the Isolated Area.

Gotcha!

Oh!? Allen? What were you doing?
Uh, um? Well, you ask me what… as if it seems like I was doing something, or like I wasn’t doing anything…
Hey, didn’t you come out of the Isolation Hangar just now? And what’s up with those weird machine parts?
Eh, ehh? These!? These are, um, th-th, yes, KOS-MOS! These are parts for gathering KOS-MOS’s data! Ah, I need to hurry and take them to the Chief!
Ah? I can’t really see how those parts could be for that, you know?
Well, that is, it’s Vector’s secret… you know?
Allen… You aren’t hiding anything, are you?
Ah, no, noo, no way~! Ah, w-well then! I’m in a rush!

Allen books it for the exit.

Hey! Wait up!?

Let’s go further inside to figure out what Allen was doing.

Jr. gets a communication from the bridge.

Ah, Little Master. We found out the location of the hacking!
I know. It’s the Isolation Hangar, right?
Oh, what the heck? You already knew?
Yeah. I was just on the scene, after all. Moreover, the culprit doesn’t seem to have any interest in the Zohars. He didn’t lay a finger on the dangerous places…
Is that so? But then, what the heck was the culprit’s motive?
Who knows? I sure don’t. I’ll try and look into it some more.

Jr. brings up a good point. We still really don’t know what Allen’s motive is to do any of this, because obviously rampaging CAT-MOS is not what he had in mind.

Little Master, don’t overdo it… Don’t destroy the Durandal, got it?!
I know!

The communication ends.

As I thought, no matter how I look at it, Allen is suspicious… Now then, I’d better secure the suspect, first of all. A place that Allen is likely to visit would be…

Let’s go check in on the bridge, maybe they’ll have some new info for us.

Naw, it’s not going so easily.
Honestly, what a surprise! For the motherframe to be hijacked from the Isolation Hangar. What were they thinking…
Who knows. Well, if they knew the true form of what’s there, they probably wouldn’t feel much like getting any closer.

Is that so. Well, they must have given it their all, against opponents like the 100-Series.
That’s right… But, I suppose this was the extent of their skill.

Yeah, I got it!

Alright, that was a dead end, let’s go back to the Elsa again, maybe they saw Allen.

MOMO? What are you doing in a place like this?
Right now, I’m helping out like the Captain asked.
Hmm, is that so. If you don’t really want to, I’ll say something to the Captain, okay?
No, I’m very happy to be able to help everyone out!
If that’s the case, do your best.
I will!

For a ship where the housekeeper’s an old guy, a place like this… is fine enough. If you’ve got a complaint, say it after you’ve paid off your debts.
…Then, I don’t have a thing to say, Master.

Let’s see what the crew has to say about Allen…

…Shion’s flunky.
Hahaha, you’re pretty harsh too, Little Master! But that’s exactly right.

Well that amounted to a whole lot of nothing (He’s not at the Foundation). Let’s ask KOS-MOS.

Hm? Yeah, kind of. Do you know where he is, KOS-MOS?
Allen is currently in Shion’s private room on the Durandal.
Shion’s private room?! Is Shion there too?
Yes. They both seem to be alone in her room right now.
Hmmm, oh. Hehehe, that Allen…

Alright, let’s see if we can head him off in the Residential Area before he gets away again!

RUDE

Ouch… Who is it? Actually look in front of you when you’re walking… hey, Allen!!

Hey, wait! Don’t run! Did it go okay with Shion?
With the Chief!? Wha, what do you mean?
Hey hey, you trying to play dumb? You were getting good vibes, weren’t ya, all alone with Shion?
All alone? With the Chief? I was!?
Honestly, you’re quite the smooth operator. I didn’t think you were such a go-getter.

I feel like im in a bizarro land right now…

G-Go-getter!? Just, what do you mean?
Don’t play dumb. Hacking into Mama was just to get Shion’s attention too, wasn’t it?
Heeh!? Hacking!? Wha-wha-wha-wha-what are you talking about?
Bull’s eye, huh. But, it’s no good causing trouble to those around you. That’s going a bit too far. There are better, more effective methods for getting her attention, you know. If you don’t have anything, want me to teach you some killer phrases, directly from Gaignun?

Allen does seem like the type that would buy into PUA shit.

Eh!? Um, well… uh, MOMO!!
Eh?

Allen books it, running over Jr. in the process.

Ah, that bastard!? He ran away! Bridge, can you hear me!? Trace Allen’s location.
Allen, you say!? What’s this all of a sudden, Little Master?
Just don’t let him get away! I’m going up to the bridge too now.

Guess which one we go to. Hint: not the one we should go to.

Well, as a man, I can’t just leave this as it is.

Now, my favorite section in this entire game thus far.

That was great. Let’s go see KOS-MOS again, maybe she has some new intel for us.

From Shion’s report, nothing happened between her and Allen.
Eh, what’s that? Geez, what a puerile guy. That’s why I said I will teach him some good tricks.

Well, at least I learned what puerile meant. Thanks game!

I think that the Vice Chief’s actions look suspicious. The chance that he is involved in the motherframe’s hacking is also high.
Well, let’s not blame him. He’s only trying hard.
Yes, he’s indeed trying hard, but others don’t seem to evaluate him in a good light anyway.
Somehow, it turned into a sad story.

Time to actually go report to the bridge we were supposed to go to.

I’m not playing around! Allen’s involved in Mama’s hijacking.

What the… Then we gotta catch him, don’t we!? Contact security right away!
Hey, hang on. Leave that Allen guy to me. As a man, I want to help him realize his feelings.
Hah? As a… man? Well, it seems awful complicated. But, a quote like that doesn’t really suit ya, Little Master.
Shut up! Hurry and tell me where Allen is already!

The feeling of friendship for a comrade, huh? That’s the spirit of youth right there!
Little Master. While having fun is well and good, if you cut loose too much, you’ll be scolded by Master Gaignun again.
Little Master is so cool!
Little Master is amazing!
Little Master tries too hard…

Normally I don’t take screenshots of the Think prompts, but I had to keep this one in for… reasons.

Ok time to hit the Elsa… Again. Lots of back and forth in this one.

Naw, he’s a quick guy, it would seem. I haven’t been able to catch his tail yet. More importantly, do you know where Allen is?
Eh, Allen? …I, I haven’t seen him.
Well, well. Have there been any changes in him lately? Perhaps he’s become more active, more like a man?

Jr, please you are being super rude right now this is not cool.

Eh? Not really… Same as always, although he’s felt a little down. Did something happen?
Well, it’s fine if that’s the case.

After searching the Elsa and finding nothing, we should just go back to the Durandal.

Hm, an alarm? Is it coming from the Elsa?
He tries to return to the Elsa, but the entrance hatch is locked and won’t budge.
Damnit, the hatch won’t open! What’s going on!? Shelley? It seems like something odd is happening on the Elsa. Can you get in contact with them from there?
Little Master, it is not only on the Elsa that something odd is happening. Please return to the bridge immediately!
It isn’t only on the Elsa? Hey, just what is going on!?
There isn’t time to explain! Hurry, come to the bridge!
It can’t be, did Allen do something again!?

Alright, let’s get a status report.

What’s wrong? What happened!?
There’s an intruder in the motherframe! The 100-Series are currently working on deploying a firewall.
Again? It should be fine if we leave it to the 100-Series. What’s the big fuss about?
You’re wrong there! It ain’t something so easy as before! Even with their abilities, the 100-Series can’t drive it out.

Is this the enemy’s true form!?
I’ve identified the contamination route. The location is the Elsa, KOS-MOS’s maintenance room!
What did ya say!?
There isn’t a mistake? Re-check it.
There’s no mistake. The intruder is KOS-MOS!
Are you serious…
Kya!

Most of the 100-Series fall to the floor.

What’s goin’ on!?
Hey, what’s happening on the Elsa!?
It’s no good, I can’t get in contact with them!
Damnit! Cut all the system bypasses to Mama!
Little Master!
No, that’s crazy!
The opponent is KOS-MOS here! At this rate, the ship will be hijacked! Do it, quick!
Sever all bypasses to the motherframe!
Roger, severance complete! The interference to the motherframe is under control.
Is this also your doing, Allen? If you even got KOS-MOS involved, this is no simple prank.
The motherframe is alright somehow or other, but with all the bypasses cut, over half of the 100-Series ain’t functioning no more. With things like this, the ship could get captured real easy.
Little Master, we need make a move soon. At this rate…
I know. I’ll stop KOS-MOS.

Whew, that was eventful! Let’s go see how things are on the Elsa, make sure the crew is ok.

Yo, if isn’t the Little Master! Honestly, we’re done in real fine over here.
The main frame’s completely dead. We’re totally on our knees.
And MOMO? Is MOMO alright!?
Just as she was trying to protect the main frame, she ended up collapsing.
chaos carried MOMO to the cabin.

Let’s go over and check on MOMO.

How’s MOMO? Is she safe?
For now, she’s stable. But, it looks that it was a really powerful nanovirus.
So her consciousness hasn’t come back.

Time to go hunt down KOS-MOS.

Failure to capture the target…nya. Target nyas fled toward the hangar… nya.
KO-KOS-MOS! H-heavy, I c-can’t breathe.

Keep in mind that KOS-MOS is made of metal, she’s canonically over 200lbs.

I recognize Jr. lying beneath me… nya. His breathing rate has decreased and his heart rate has increased… nyan.
Hurry up and get off!!

Jr., I can’t get to the elevator because of your interference… nya. Could nya please step aside?
You didn’t hear me? What’s up with that ‘nyan nyan’ talk?
Although I can’t understand your words nya, I know nya… retreating isnt anya option.

CAT-MOS goes off to find that damn cat, and we are gonna need some help to take her down. Let’s get Ziggy up and running.

What are you doing, old man?
How does the situation look outside?
Situation? Why don’t you go see for yourself?
I can’t do that.
Geez, being old must really suck. Be honest, your moving functions are paralyzed, right?
…You don’t need to tell me that.
This is no time for jokes, old man! The Elsa’s mainframe was hacked and Durandal’s Mama was attacked. The ship’s functions have been torn apart. MOMO and two thirds of the 100-Series have been knocked unconscious.
MOMO? Who was the culprit!?
You will be surprised to hear that it was… KOS-MOS.
It was KOS-MOS? Impossible! What does this mean?
I don’t know either. But there is no mistake that KOS-MOS has gone wild and that Allen is involved.
I see. If KOS-MOS is our opponent, then there is no way I can sit here silently.
You say that, but what are you going to do? You still can’t move, right?
Though I’m still unadjusted, I’ll be able to move if the machine is restarted.
I see, then just do it.
What I’m saying is that you need to do it.
Huh?!

Hey, hey, don’t joke around! I’m not a technical specialist, you know!
Don’t worry, neither am I. But right now, you are the only person I can trust.

One quiz later…

Shut up! Don’t talk to me right now! That here, this there. Oh, it’s done!? Old man, it’s finally done!
Good, then I will tell you the last step.
Alright! I will free you right away!

KO-KOS-MOS!?
Confirm movement to Ziggy’s chest…Nya.
KOS-MOS, what happened? Why do you look like that?
This is a warning… Nya. There appears to be a failure in your language function, Nya. It would be best to… adjust it at once, Nya!
What are you saying? You aren’t yourself! Jr., quick, do the last step! There is something wrong with KOS-MOS!
I, I know!
Jr., you are interrupting… Nya. Please move away… Nyan.
KOS-MOS pushed Jr. away, and he fell to the ground. After that, she prepared to attack Ziggy. Jr. jumped on KOS-MOS to hold her down, but he was tossed aside by her strength.
It’s useless… Nya. Jr., you can nyaver stop me… Nyan!

KOS-MOS slowly approached Ziggy and jumped on him, sitting astride and beginning to claw at him.
Stop! Stop it!
Again, the target’s disappearance has been confirmed nya. There aren’t anya energy reactions. I’ve completely lost the target nyaa.

CAT-MOS leaves as if nothing, leaving Ziggy unconscious and Jr. rattled.

MOMO! YOu’re safe!
Ziggy!? Jr., what happened here?
KOS-MOS suddenly… old man was… Uuuuh.
Huh? You’re not saying that Ziggy is…?
Damnit, old man. We will avenge you!
Jr.! Ziggy is still alive! With this, he should be alright! Ziggy? Please wake up, Ziggy!

How are you feeling, Ziggy?
I’m afraid not too well. KOS-MOS was… What happened after that?
I don’t know. She said ‘nya nya’ and left. Anyway, we can’t leave it like this. You go search for Allen. It’s his fault that KOS-MOS has gone wild.
MOMO, do you know where KOS-MOS and Allen are?
Yes! Um, Allen is in the Durandal’s dock while KOS-MOS is on the Elsa’s bridge.

Let’s get out of this room.

No use, the elevator wont move.
Damn, then we can’t go up.
Ahead of us is the cargo receiving dock. We should be able to leave from there.
Damn, it won’t open! It’s no use!
Move away.

Ziggy does his thing, breaking open the hatch.

Jr., I will search for Allen for now. I’ll leave KOS-MOS to you.
Ah, okay. When you meet Allen, tell him this: “I hate when people overdo things.”

Jr. runs off, and Ziggy goes to the Foundation.

I ain’t okay! Just look at this situation! Everything here and there’s all beat up.
Was this KOS-MOS’s doing after all?
That’s right! I honestly don’t get why we let such a brutal thing run free… The bridge is in an awful state too. Shelley’s steaming mad!
It’s that bad!? …This is a serious affair.
Little Master, hurry and catch KOS-MOS. We couldn’t take it if the stuff we finally repaired got smashed again!
Yeah, I got it.

Let’s go to the bridge and make sure she’s ok.

No, I’m good. I know quite well that the bridge isn’t functioning.
Then, you also must know what is to be done next. This isn’t the time to dawdle.
(Shelley’s pretty mad…)
Little Master, you won’t find KOS-MOS by staying here.
Ah, yeah, I know.
If you know, then why are you still here?

Little Master… Mistress Shelley is so scary!

An explosion can be heard from the bridge.

What is it this time!?
It’s an explosion within the ship! The location is… the Elsa!
How are the damages?
Communication with the Elsa is impossible. I cannot confirm it’s status.
Little Master!
I know. I’ll leave things here to you!

Let’s head on over to the Elsa… again.

Hammer? What are you doing?
KOS-MOS, it’s KOS-MOS! Just as were thinking about how she’d suddenly gone crazy on the bridge, there was a giant explosion in the hanger! It was so big, it’s a mystery that no one died! I’ll warn you that since the bridge was destroyed, the elevator’s stopped.

To the bridge we go, then.

How could we be okay?! The bridge has been wrecked, the hangar’s exploded! Just how much will this cost to repair…
Is KOS-MOS still in the hangar?
Hell if I know that! We’re cut off from the motherframe here, and even the elevator isn’t moving!

Let’s get the hell out of here before we get murdered. Since the elevator doesn’t work, we gotta go back in through the cargo hatch.

Jr.! Just now, KOS-MOS appeared, and as she went into the hangar, there was an explosion…
Are you unhurt?
Yes, but it looks like KOS-MOS has been infected by the nanovirus too, so I thought that I should try to analyze the virus.
And, were you able to do it?
Yes. It was by chance, but I was able to get the nanovirus control program. There’s also still data left behind from when I was infected, so I think that I can do something.

Time to finish this, let’s go to the hangar!

W-wait, KOS-MOS! What are you going to do!? Stop it already!
Shion, I’m warning you. You are currently standing in the firing line between me and the target. Please move away from your current position as soon as possible.
Wait, KOS-MOS! I won’t stand quietly by if you do something stupid again!
Jr.?
Jr., I’m sorry, but I can’t listen to your order. This mission has higher priority.
Hey, wait, KOS-MOS. Who gave you this mission? Calm down!
You’re the one who should calm down, Shion… Interference with the mission will be in direct violation of office regulations.
Stop! Don’t get any closer to Shion!!
Umm, hey, you two, don’t you think it’d be better to stop? Let’s calm down a little… It’d be better that way, don’t you think?
Then there is no other way. To achieve this mission, I will eliminate all resistance!
How interesting. Come and try it!
Will you two stop it already! The Elsa will be destroyed if you keep this up!!
Shion, look out!
Shion is pushed by Jr. She loses her balance and falls to the ground. Weak from the explosion, the hangar falls over her head.
Chief, watch out!

Allen dives and pushes them both out of the way of the falling debris.

Let’s go, KOS-MOS!!

Wh-wh-wh-wh-what are you doing?! KOS-MOS!!
KOS-MOS sets her sights squarely on Jr. He glares at KOS-MOS but stands completely still. Within that moment, each one has their finger on a trigger…

Clunk. Some time later…

Seems like Jr. really got hit good by MOMO.

Ouch! Don’t touch where it’s swelling!
But, settling it with one attack and all, MOMO’s pretty impressive!

Shut up! How are KOS-MOS and the 100-Series now?
There are no problems. Currently, MOMO is removing the nanovirus.
Is that so? Well then, that’s the first step done at least. Now, all that’s left is dealing with him.
Allen, ya mean? First of all, we billed Vector for all the losses suffered. Although it looks like they were really chewed out by the company people.
Well, since they caused such a big fuss as this, it’s their just desserts.
Well, that might be right.
Well, there’s still a problem left… Although it’s a problem between men.
& Huh…?

Eek! Jr.!?
What are you sneaking about for?
Well, I’m not really sneaking or anything…
Well, there’s been a big clamor about this. You obtained your objective though, right?
W-what do you mean, objective!? Just what are you talking about? I don’t really…
If you’re acting like that, it doesn’t seem like anything changed… Honestly, if you’re always going to act like this, you’ll never get Shion’s heart.
No, well, that’s… I mean, even I…
Hey, calm down! Because next time, I’ll collaborate with ya. And generally speaking, you fundamentally cannot understand a woman’s heart.
Hah, a woman’s heart, huh…

Ah!? Chief!! Um, well…
Well, you see, this Allen guy…
He-hey, Jr.!?
Ahahahaha, we were just having some guy-to-guy talk. Nothing to do with you, Shion!
That’s… pretty suspicious, you know? Allen, you aren’t hiding anything, are you?
It, it’s not that! N-nothing’s suspicious! N-no way, are you doubting me??
Don’t worry about it, it was nothing serious. Let’s go, Allen!
Ah, wa-wait a minute, Jr.!
Allen leaves the place in a rush. A single data disk comes falling from his palm. While Shion goes to pick it up, the recorded content begins to play back.

In that moment, the entirely of the hallway freezes.

Well, that happened. Let’s check in on Jr.

Little Master, if you move about so much, I can’t apply the medicine!
Ouch! That’s why I’m saying, do it more gently!
Gosh, Little Master, you sure didn’t learn from your experiences. And your bruise this time is a bright red handprint! It can’t be, did ya get scolded by MOMO again?
Shut up! It wasn’t anything like that. Ouchhh!!
You mustn’t move like that!
Hah. I don’t know nothing about manly camaraderie, but you’d better study a woman’s heart a bit better!
I’ve had enough, both comaraderie and women’s hearts are too hard…

That’s the end of Jr.'s story. And that’s the end of Xenosaga Freaks for now! We’ve reached the end of the translated content. Next time on the Xenosaga megathread: Pied Piper. Stay tuned for more information on that soon![/details]