SIN'S BACK IN: Let's Play PERSONA 2 ETERNAL PUNISHMENT (PSP)

[SpammyV]

I would say that chapter took a sudden turn but I’m not sure if it still counts as a “sudden” turn if you monologue about 80s Crimepocalypse stuff for a dozen text boxes.

[Timrod]

Yeah, and it’s only really going to get worse. I looked at the script for Part 2.

[Timrod]

Summary

: Before we go into Part 2 of Tatsuya’s Scenario, I go ahead and spend all the party’s money on healing items. In particular, we need healing items and ohnusas, which cure a number of ailments.

: Meet the first mistake Satomi Tadashi makes in this segment. This is Tatsuya and Katsuya’s father, the one who was still in prison in Innocent Sin. He does not get an introduction card.

: “Former Detective Suou removed the earphone, shook his head and looked up at me. After a moment, he half-rose from the bench and handed the voice recorder back to me. There was no change in his dumbfounded expression. Of course.”

: “If I hadn’t seen Tatsuya and Sudou’s Personas myself, I doubt I’d have believed it either.”

: Shiori actually says that line as opposed to internally monologging it, I just didn’t use a screenshot because I’ve been stripping out the honorifics. Here’s my position on honorifics: honorifics in English are usually bad writing.

: I say that because there’s times they make sense to use - think games like Ace Attorney where that kind of thing could be an important clue to someone’s identity - but if you’re using them because there’s no other obvious way to grasp the relationship between two characters, that’s just bad writing.

: This… makes no sense. If you’ll recall, Tatsuya is actively going out of his way to ensure that no one remembers Innocent Sin’s world. Him spilling it to Shiori is plain out of character.

: “I removed the charm that I’d inserted into my police notebook.”

: “This is the student emblem that Tatsuya lent me.”

: “Supposedly, so long as you have the Seven Sisters emblem on you, you’ll be safe even if Joker targets you. It’s been a hot topic among the kids lately. And in truth, Sudou hasn’t appeared before me ever since.”

: “So I said, but he probably couldn’t believe me. Adults needed adult logic.”

: “Just as the rumors say, they have things like this for sale.”

: A G33 is a kind of Glock, which suits Shiori perfectly because like Shiori, they’re blocky and dense.

: “It might be an ultra-compact handgun that you could tuck into the palm of your hand, but it used .357 SIG bullets. It had firepower comparable to a .357 magnum - close to five times that of the .32s the station lent us. It’s often called a ‘pocket rocket’.”

: “Naturally, these don’t get supplied to Japanese police officers. The guns we’re lent for work have to be returned each day to the service office, so I purchased this weapon for my own personal protection.”

: “If you abide by the rules against criminals who use Personas or demons or whatever, you won’t be able to defend yourself.”

: “So the former detective growled as he verified the weight of the gun and the bullets in the magazine. Said rounds aren’t the so-called full metal jackets, which are the full penetration ammo allowed for use in P230 JPs and New Nambus.”

: “These were jacketed hollowpoints, which exposed the lead on the tip and had a pit in the center. They were warheads meant to stop a person stone dead. Their penetrative power fell short compared to FMJs, but when it came to dealing damage to soft targets like human bodies, they were far superior.”

: “This is because the lead mushroomed at the moment of impact, it efficiently delivered a shock and caused massive blood loss. As a result, their use was prohibited in international warfare per the Hague Convention. I heard it’s because they were deemed inhumane due to the unnecessary suffering they caused.”

: “Apparently there was such a thing in this world as humane warfare.”

: “Even using black market routes from the mainland, the Philippines and Russia. I don’t know how it works precisely, but I can only conclude that rumors have become true.”

: I’m not going to talk about all of Shiori’s gun-related claims. Instead, what I’d like to point out is that we just witnessed 20 textboxes worth of completely fucking pointless monologue. I think if Hashino had never taken over as writer, I would probably have wound up calling it the Tadashi-Allanson rule.

: Seriously, this feels like something I’d expect out of an inexperienced writer working on their first story, not out of a professional writer who at this point had written multiple commercially successful games.

: The worst part about it though is that you could absolutely work this into an actual plot point/worldbuilding thing with a bit of creativity. Imagine something like flame wars on gun forums turning into rumors that are making guns completely useless at random.

: “Next to him, the wrappers for the anpan we’d lined up and eaten together swayed in the autumn breeze from under the cardboard milk pack. He’d squeezed in time for me during his lunch break, so we wound up eating here as we talked.”

: “It’s barely any meal at all for a security guard who spent all his time on his feet, but we couldn’t exactly chat about all this over at the cafe around the corner. I asked when his lunch break ended, and that time’s already passed. I’d feel bad to keep him here for much longer. I’d better get back to the main issue.”

: “He believes that as the only one who hasn’t lost his memory, he has to do this all alone. That’s why.”

: “No… I suspect not. It seems Sergeant Suou is cooperating with a woman named Maya Amano, whom Tatsuya is trying to protect. Tatsuya said he doesn’t want to get his friends from the Other Side or his family involved. That’s why he left home.”

: …He doesn’t want to get his family involved, and that’s exactly why you’re talking to his dad. Shiori is a thousand times more SMART GIRL than Makoto.

: “This is fundamentally not a task for children. It’s our job as police officers. However, you and I both know that the police are not reliable.”

: “Thinking over his former friend, Suou-san looked up at me as if begging for good news. I didn’t have any I could tell him, though.”

: “He’s connected to Tatsuzou Sudou. It’s clear that he and Captain Shimazu are obstructing the investigation to make sure Tatsuya Sudou doesn’t get detained.”

: “He seemed to age ten years as his head sagged down, hand on his brow. It was probably tough knowing his best friend betrayed him AND continued to participate in the crimes for which “he” should have been arrested. Somewhere inside, he still trusted Togashi.”

: “But he can’t shoulder the burden all alone. I’ll support him to the extent that I’m capable. Tatsuya needs the help of adults who know what’s really happening.”

: Now I see where Hashino got it from. She’s fucking recapping a scene we not only just saw, but had to go through in its entirety to even make it here. There is no skip button.

: “I’d provide him with a place to stay and information on the Sudou investigation. In return, he’d make sure Sudou dies and stays dead. Most likely, no matter how things go, Tatsuya will eventually have to settle things with Sudou regardless.”

: As we’ll learn in a minute, this takes place during the Aerospace Museum. Sudou’s probably already dead. Again.

: “No matter how evil that someone may be, the fact that he’s ending their life will leave an indelible scar on Tatsuya’s heart. But it’s not all his fault. I’m the one who requested Sudou’s death. I don’t care if it’s just a consolation. It might be enough to allow him to forgive himself.”

: What the fuck are you talking about? Tatsuya never gave a fuck about Sudou. He’s already killed Sudou once at this point. This is Samus having a mental breakdown in Metroid Other M all over again.

: “Suou stood up then, the shade of anguish fading from his eyes. It seemed he’d made the decision to watch over his son, who was trying to oppose a cruel fate.”

: …What? Wasn’t it established in Innocent Sin that he lives with Katsuya? Why would his father even put out a missing persons report? Why was this never bought up in Innocent Sin?

: “Thank you very much.”

: “I bowed my head, grateful from the bottom of my heart. He was basically telling me he was giving me his son’s life, when I couldn’t have complained if he’d struck me instead. But with this, it should get a little easier for Tatsuya to make his move. Even at the best of times, he stands out. So long as he’s moving around in this city, it’s better to remove as many unnecessary hurdles as possible.”

: “Suou-san and me, Chief Togashi and Sudou’s son, the head of investigations and the kids who created This Side, and finally the woman who holds the fate of the world: Maya Amano…”

: Wait, what? No she doesn’t. She only mattered because of the Oracle of Maia, which doesn’t exist in this timeline.

: “Tatsuya’s core connections spread out from him like a mandala - but a warped one, fashioned by a malicious artisan to mock its subject and viewers.”

: I feel like this writing exists to mock its subjects and viewers.

: “While the individuals look unrelated at a glance, they draw a similar relationship chat through someone else. For us, whose names joined the list without any of us the wiser, ten years’ time hasn’t given us any resolution at all.”

: “All the loss and despair we struggled to endure, all the sorrow and rage that piled upon us, was nothing more than the overture. That said, we’ve had plenty of time to make sure we recover even so. Don’t underestimate us humans.”

: “I got to meet Tatsuya, and I can extend a hand to kids who’ve committed crimes without forcing them into the twisted society adults created.”

: “It might be impossible for now, but one day, I want to make our society one where kids like Tatsuya can live with a smile. That’s the task of us adults. Kids mustn’t be forced into a world where they have to sacrifice something in order to enter it.”

: “Overhearing the voices of children running nearby, Suou-san and I shared a glance and looked up at the sky. I couldn’t see it from here, but perhaps it was true that the blimp was flying. Come to think of it, I heard fire truck sirens wailing just a bit ago. I don’t know why, but I got the feeling that Tatsuya is almost certainly on that blimp.”

: I was going to do a lazy edit to remove the honorific here, but then I decided not to.

: “I knew there wouldn’t be a response. At this hour, Shiori should still be at work. It still felt like I’m barging in here, but if I treated it as anything but home, she’d get mad.”

: He’s calling Shiori by her first name, despite the fact that at this point he’s known her about as long as he knew Yukino, who he still referred to by her last name.

: “I hopped into the bathroom and took a shower with my motorcycle leathers still on. It was already soaked with loads of saltwater; it’s quicker to wash off the salt this way.”

: “Tatsuya Sudou is dead, but I don’t think this is the end. Maya also hadn’t given up. It seemed like all of them - my brother, Ulala, and that other guy - were chasing me and Sudou down.”

: “When I saved Yoshizaka at the Sevens clocktower, I gave Maya an emblem and advised her to spread a rumor so I figured it’d be safe for me to leave her alone for now… I was naive.”

: I know Satomi Tadashi has him call Anna by her last name to make it obvious that it’s not the same Tatsuya, but it’s still dumb he calls Shiori by her first name and not Anna.

: “The more I pulled away, the more she’d approach me with that steady smile until before I knew it, I couldn’t get her out of my head. Even way back, she would have gotten to me like that, but giving her that advice was only fuel for her engine.”

: “Still, I was right to keep an eye out for Jun in the meantime. I knew Sudou, who had already tried to abduct Yoshizaka, would absolutely try to force Jun into the masked role of Joker, and I had been right.”

: I think we all know that if Jun became the Joker again, he’d turn the “call your own number” thing into a phone-based flower delivery service.

: “Honestly, I wanted to settle up with Sudou before he captured Jun, but I got thrown off when Maya appeared. I decided I’d never have anything directly to do with him again, but Jun got involved and at that time, he ended up recognizing my face…”

: Wait, why five? Eikichi, Lisa, Jun, Maya. That’s four.

: “I’m sure ‘he’ picked his next move ages ago. It’s obvious I still haven’t gone even one millimeter off the rails ‘he’ laid down. Once I stripped and washed the salt off my skin too, I got out of the shower and changed into the jeans Shiori bought me.”

: “I’d like to just let my leathers dry in the sun, but there wasn’t any point. I flipped the switch on the dryer in the washroom. I headed to the room I’d been borrowing and threw myself down onto the single sofa-bed.”

: “Aside from the sofa-bed, there were ten cardboard boxes of Shiori’s in the corner that she hadn’t unpacked and a clothing case for me. That was it. I was grateful just to have a place I can stay, somewhere close to Maya in case anything happened. That was more than enough.”

: “However, I really should’ve left without saying a word the night we met at Zodiac and kept Shiori from getting involved with this any further. But Shiori told me about her younger brother. I couldn’t leave in silence then. Her brother was murdered by Sudou in my place.”

: “The Other Side’s Sudou set the shrine on fire while we were locked up in it. Since I was just a kid, I was finally able to escape by just barely squeezing through a gap in the floorboards. I went outside in order to save Maya, but I was stabbed in the back.”

: “That’s when I awoke to my Persona and burned Sudou’s face. Sudou thought that Maya had done that, so that’s why he stalked her. But when we lost to ‘him’, in order to recreate a world where Maya lived, we changed history a little bit and some things were erased so they never happened.”

: “On This Side, we all never met 10 years ago. So, Sudou also never stabbed me. To fill that hole, Shiori’s little brother was killed. I understood why. It was a present from ‘him,’ showing me what happens when we change history.”

: I refuse to believe this is canon because I think Tatsuya would realize how stupid this constant reiteration of plot points we already know is.

: “I wanted to kill him. I wanted to die and disappear. I dug my nails into the mark ‘he’ left on my right arm.”

: I’m starting to wonder now if Bloody Destiny was originally meant to be a theme for Tatsuya’s Scenario, since I mean, “Night beast grab my right arm” and all.

: Tatsuya does have his own music: there’s a new battle theme and a new boss theme, both of which played in Part 1.

: There’s a voice line here that plays but is not subtitled. It’s Maya’s voiceactress, and from the translator’s blog, she says the following:

: “Let’s speak positive! Please leave an optimistic message!”

: “The sudden ringing of the telephone brought me to my senses. I was so overwhelmed by exhaustion that I thought I heard Maya’s voice on the answering machine message.”

: Wait a second, when did Tatsuya ever call Maya’s answering machine? He forgot she existed for a decade before Innocent Sin happened, and we never saw him do it in Innocent Sin.

: “The incoming call was on the landline in Shiori’s room. But something was odd. The person who called in didn’t say a word or hang up; they just stayed on the line, silent. I strained my ears on what I could hear in the next room through the slightly ajar door. It was after maybe a minute that a man’s voice suddenly, hesitantly began to whisper.”

: “Contact my brother? I didn’t get it. I guess the guy who called Shiori was in trouble. Wait, ‘who you called’…? I had a bad feeling about this. I jumped to my feet, hurried into Shiori’s room, and turned on the TV.”

: “On the Other Side, ‘he’ got humanity to self-destruct by making rumors come true and spreading anxiety through society. I got the sense that by going out of his way to make me run into Sudou and spreading the rumors about Joker, he was using the same tricks even on This Side.”

: “Even the news was just another one of ‘his’ tools. I flipped through the channels until a program with that shady fortune-teller woman who did the Wang Long fortunes that were popular these days caught my attention.”

: There’s a five textbox or so replay of this scene, which we saw back after the Aerospace Museum before going to GOLD. I’ll skip it.

: “My heart pounded in my throat as every hair on my body stood on end. My memories of the Other Side and what had happened on This Side intersected dizzily in my head, and I understood what the answering machine message from a moment ago and Sudou’s last words meant.”

: “The man who phoned in knew both that Shiori had called Joker and what was said on TV just now. So he furtively warned her that there was a danger that she herself would become Joker. I didn’t know who the hell that was, but it was someone who knew what’s going on - but he couldn’t do anything about it himself. That was why he told her to ask my brother for help.”

: Katsuya is apparently the Fox Mulder of the Japanese police department.

: “Shiori said that there were guys in the police force who’re trying to mislead the investigation on Joker and Sudou. Most likely, he was someone in the police who knew that, same as Shiori.”

: It’s pretty obviously the police chief.

: " ‘The fear has been spread!’ ‘The Joker won’t die!’ What Sudou was saying was that this is how Joker will circulate and multiply."

: Here’s what I don’t get about this whole thing. Why does any of this exist? Why do we need to know that Tatsuya is in an apartment watching TV?

: What about this is more interesting than the main plot, enough that we really need this to exist to tell it to us? The answer is nothing, because it’s not interesting.

: “Joker was already drawing society’s attention. Air a program like this, and it’d become a rumor in a flash. It was a matter of time before Joker would appear all over town.”

: “Respectable people would just laugh off a program like this. But what happens if what the rumored fortune-teller says comes true? What was a joke will become the seed for ‘what if?’ for a ton of people.”

: “People will spread it by word of mouth, fear and anxiety will in turn spread like an epidemic, and at last it will become reality. That’s how the curse that people unknowingly set off became common knowledge and the Other Side fell to ruin, just as ‘he’ planned. The same thing was starting to happen here - with the person closest to me as the sacrifice.”

: She was ALREADY the sacrifice! She died in Innocent Sin! You should remember that, given that’s the entire reason that you’re some kind of multidimensional ghost like the Devil Summoner protagonist! Fuck!

: “No good, she wasn’t picking up. It alarmed me that it wasn’t even going to voice mail. I headed back to my room, picked up the sword I stole from Sudou at Zodiac, and left Shiori’s house.”

: Fuck honorifics.

: “When I jumped the security fence and reached what looked like the security room for the research lab, I found the security guards had already been overcome and the alarms and monitors cut. No wonder it was so easy for me to sneak in.”

: “I found three warped coins on the floor next to the security guards collapsed in front of the door. There was only one person who could take out gun-toting enemies with something like that: Baofu, that shady old man.”

: He’s fucking 32! He’s not even old!

: “Which meant Maya and my brother were here, too. They were probably a step ahead of me and got wind that the kidnapped Joker users were dragged here. This was going to be a pain.”

: “Two full days had passed since I left Shiori’s place and tracked the rumors to this place. In that time, Shiori hadn’t returned home or to the police station. There was no mistake, ‘his’ underlings had kidnapped her.”

: “All over town, people who used the Joker curse had been turning into Joker-users and for some reason, getting kidnapped just as quickly by some unknown party. I needed to simultaneously rescue Shiori, Maya and the others, and figure out who the guys hunting down Joker users really were.”

: They were the pawns ‘he’ was using in place of the Masked Circle. I’d knock out all three tasks at once. If possible, I wanted to get my hands on the information here before Maya and the others did, then erase my tracks so they wouldn’t get in any deeper than they already had. Could I do it?"

: Next time, we’ll start the gameplay segment. Can you believe we’re not even halfway through this trash fire? I recorded this days earlier than I usually do, and I still barely got the update out.

: Seriously, I now understand that there’s a very good reason this never left Japan. This sucks, Atlus knew it sucked, and knew that if they dummied it out that people would call them on it.

[Timrod]

Summary

: The second half of this scenario is a lot of backtracking through the lab, most of which we did the first time we were here. I’ll be skipping as much of that as I can.

: Tatsuya’s version of this dungeon is the same as Maya’s, except lazier. I mentioned it earlier, but if you do the non-maze version of Club Zodiac, all the chests will be empty because Tatsuya opened them in his version.

: The developers did not put the same amount of effort into this. There will be boxes in Tatsuya’s version of the dungeon that straight up do not exist in Maya’s.

: Our first stop is the cutscene room in the basement.

: Remember in the last update, how I said that one of the few valid uses for honorifics are for a scenario like when a character is in disguise? This would logically be one of them… except instead of using it, Satomi Tadashi just kinda drops it immediately.

: “He scared me half to death. Why was he here…?”

: “Wh-what’m ‘I’ doing here? What’re YOU doing here? Did you come here with Amano and the others?”

: “So they were here after all… judging by how he phrased it, it seemed like he bumped into Maya and the others in this research building. You’ve gotta be kidding me… I was going to have my work cut out for me at this rate.”

: One thing I should point out: I’m stripping the honorifics, but Tatsuya does refer to Maya using the “nee” honorific at all times, kind of like how everyone called her “Big Sis” in Innocent Sin.

: Tatsuya has just made a massive fucking slip, and Eikichi will not call him out on it.

: “I’m not too sure, but they went to investigate somewhere deeper inside this building. Damn, this place is somethin’ else.”

: “The guys who were taken here are in the back. Is that everyone?”

: “I didn’t see any sign of Shiori. Was she somewhere else…?”

: “Yeah, these guys are the only ones here. I’m looking for a guy named Sugimoto, myself. I heard they were doin’ human experiements, those bastards.”

: “This guy called Nanjo’s gonna look after 'em at the hospital, so I’m gonna take 'em to the trailer in the parking lot.”

: “Nanjo? Yukino’s acquaintance? This place originally belonged to the Nanjo Group. If this Nanjo was working with Maya, then that might mean that not everyone in the company was acting as ‘his’ pawn.”

: “I couldn’t tell him that I knew his Other Side’s self very well. I’d be in trouble if this guy didn’t forget everything. Still, Eikichi’s reason for being here suddenly hit me. Even on the Other Side, he and Sugimoto got on like cats and dogs.”

: “So you came here looking for him after he used the Joker curse on you? You’re as soft-hearted as ever.”

: “…You sure know a lot about me.”

: “Take this.”

: “The hell is this? Don’t tell me you buy that rumor, too?”

: “Shut up and take it. I’ll stick with you as far as the parking lot. Follow me.”

: “So long as this Eikichi and the synchronized Eikichi didn’t remember the Other Side, he wouldn’t be able to use his Persona anymore. I couldn’t leave him be.”

: We now have to backtrack to the security room. I found out that Tatsuya can successfully negotiate with Python - an enemy we’ll run into I think in the Abandoned Factory.

: I also forgot to take the game off Easy difficulty, even for the boss fights. That’s probably for the best, given how annoying two of them can be.

: There’s a box with a couple of Ohnusas, which I already have like 30 of. You absolutely need that many, otherwise the fight with Kandori can become unwinnable.

: “I made Eikichi wait outside, headed into the security control room, and walked into a faceful of guns. I didn’t figure the security guards had noticed me. I guessed they came from another floor to check things out.”

: Even on Normal, this fight is over in a couple of turns. The only annoyance is that the enemies can use an attack that causes “Illusion”, which is Persona’s equivalent of “Blind”.

: Illusion works even against spells, so when we do this fight a second time a bit later, I wind up wasting four turns or so trying to get the last hit off before curing it.

: “Yeah… Hey, Suou. You and me, we’ve been talking real casually to each other for a while, but I gotta ask - how d’you know my name?”

: He asks about this, but not “Why do you keep calling her Maya and also using the honorific for an older sister?”

: “Who doesn’t know the Undie Boss of Cuss High?”

: “Undie Boss? The hell is that? It’s kinda familiar, but it also kinda pisses me off…”

: “I messed up. It looks like he never had that nickname on This Side. I couldn’t talk to him any further than this.”

: “Hey, what’re you gonna do?!”

: At this point, I got real confused. There’s no way to progress because both the A-B shutters and the keycard shutter are down. What you’re supposed to do is come to this big, pointless room that we had to map out as Maya.

: In this fight, Tatsuya gets Illusioned and I waste like four turns watching this fucker dodge Agidyne until I cure it.

: We go through both damage floor rooms and switch the doors again.

: “They probably meant Maya and the others.”

: “Shinjo… I’d never heard the name before, but it was clear he or she was more dangerous than these guys. Intentionally leaving intruders alone meant either they were confident they’d catch them in a trap, or else they wouldn’t get in their way. This kind of situation could get ugly real quick.”

: “Either way, it looked like I’d better hurry. I’d grab the keyring hanging from the older guy’s belt. He’d taken out another cigarette and was trying to light it.”

: “The young guy nodded and started pawing at his pockets. What an idiot.”

: “I’d bought this thing because my hand felt empty without one. It’d surprisingly come in handy.”

: “Just as the younger one found his lighter, he finally noticed me, gaping in shock. Quick as a wink, I smashed my left elbow into the older guy’s face and dropped him. Then I sandwiched the younger guy against the shutter and smashed the hilt of my sword into his solar plexus.”

: “I saw the older man crumple to the ground from the corner of my eye. I went easier on the younger one. He managed to keep to his feet, doubled over in pain and gasping for air. I grabbed him by the nape of the neck, slammed him into the fence, then unsheathed my sword just enough to expose the blade, which I pressed against his neck.”

: “The elevator only has buttons for three floors. How do you go higher?”

: “Who does? That guy?”

: “Looks like I had to go by elevator to get to the other side of the fence. When he told me the older guy’s key ring had the key to the elevator switch board, this time I gave him a knee to the solar plexus as a present and put him to sleep.”

: I feel like this is the problem with silent protagonists. Tatsuya never really felt like an edgelord in Innocent Sin, but I guess we’ll never know given that he had no lines.

: “It was probably pointless to ask these guys about Maya and the others. I grabbed the key ring from the sprawled-out older guy as my reward for the fight, and then left the area.”

: “I opened up the switchboard and flipped on the power to the elevator. I didn’t know how they did it, but it looked like it was set up to automatically cut the power if the elevator’s not used at a fixed time.”

: “These security protocols are such a pain in the ass… but if they’re sticking with them so rigorously, they must be hiding something that’s worth it. I stepped onto the elevator and pressed the button for floor 2.”

: This is a little bit of a spoiler, since this is a carbon copy of the boss we’re going to be fighting in the Abandoned Factory.

: “It reminded me of the Order of the Holy Lance from the Other Side. A model number, X-O, was painted on the body.”

: “It looked like someone was piloting it. The young guy I beat up earlier screamed from the other side of the fence next to me.”

: “It seemed like he managed to wake up and made a report to the higher-ups. The guy inside this thing must’ve known how to get to the fourth floor. All I had left to do was pull him out of there and make him spill his guts.”

: Tatsuya is exactly right when he says the X-O is a Holy Lance mech… that’s because it is. It has the exact same moveset, down to the ability to seal Personas. The only difference is the naming - the sealing move on the X-O is called “Muramasa Copy”.

: I should mention that this fight also re-uses the Hitler/Holy Lance theme from Innocent Sin, because at this point they’re not even trying to make it seem like they’re not just rehashing Innocent Sin…

: The Holy Lance mech is weak to Nuclear this time around, and this is why we need Nova Kaiser. I should mention that Nova Kaiser stops the battle music during its animation because Satomi Tadashi apparently decided that Persona wasn’t enough of a Jojo’s reference as it is.

: The mech uses mostly gun-based attacks, including this one… which for a writer seemingly obsessed about guns, Satomi Tadashi got entirely wrong.

: The M249 and the FN Minimi are made by the same company, and the M249 is based off the Minimi, but they are effectively two different guns.

: Anyway, three Nova Kaisers later and the mech is dead without ever using Muramasa Copy. That shit’s bad game design anyway - it’s fine when you have five characters and chances are it’s going to hit someone useless, but with just Tatsuya it just makes the fight drag out.

: Tatsuya levels up, but we don’t get to distribute his stats.

: “The driveline shorted out and smoke started rising from all over the mech. The scrap iron hatch opened and the pilot jumped out. He tried to draw the gun at his hip, but the tip of my sword in his face was enough to get him to behave. The young man on the other side of the fence had already vanished.”

: “I pushed my blade forward the tiniest bit. The tip sunk into his forehead, and a line of blood traced down his nose.”

: “The man held up both hands. While keeping him in my peripheral vision, I maintained my stance and smoothly moved around him towards the elevator, all the while my blade remained against his forehead.”

: Wait, what? Isn’t Tatsuya supposed to be a master swordsman or whatever? Wouldn’t he know that having the blade against the guy’s forehead isn’t going to do anything? It’s not like the katana is going to cut through the guy’s skull, especially not from being right up against it.

: “He groped one-handed for the elevator button, and after a moment, the door opened. My blade still against him, I walked in without hesitation, while he bent back and revolved into the cage back-first.”

: I’m also not sure I understand the positioning here. Tatsuya must be in front of him, but then why would the guard need to turn around to go back-first into the elevator? None of this makes sense.

: “I kicked him in the chin. Momentarily knocking him senseless, I grabbed the nape of his neck, made him stand up, shoved his face into the button panel and stole the automatic handgun off his hip.”

: If there’s anyone reading this who by some chance does choreography for theater, I’d like to know what this would look like because what Satomi Tadashi is describing sounds anatomically impossible, or at least very awkward to do.

: “When I released the safety and pulled back the slide, I found that one of the bullets had already been fired. I ejected the shell and let it roll towards the floor.”

: This… also doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. The guard fired his gun once, didn’t rack the slide to release the empty cartridge… and then immediately turned the safety on. None of this makes even the slightest bit of sense.

: “I was just aping Maya, I should’ve been able to handle this weapon alright. I pressed the muzzle up to the back of the man’s ear.”

: I’m aware the line is not grammatically correct, but that’s exactly how the translator has it.

: “I grabbed the nape of his neck and made the man stand in front of the doors. If this was a trap, he’d be the one getting shot for it. When we passed the third floor, the number 3 on the panel’s floor number indicator started flickering. Several seconds passed, and the doors opened. It looked like we had reached the fourth floor.”

: “When I made him guide me to where Shiori was, the man stopped in front of a room that looked like a research lab. While I was at it, I might as well find out who they are.”

: “Without a word, I pulled back the gun’s hammer.”

: “Is he the boss?”

: “Tatsuzou Sudou… Tatsuya Sudou’s father and the man who screwed my dad over. If my memory served me right, even now he would still be the foreign minister.”

: “I got it. He would be able to use the cops, the mafia, the mass media and facilities like this as he pleased. By all appearances, it was a safe bet that Tatsuzou was ‘his’ favorite errand boy.”

: Uh, what? That’s not at all what we just saw.

: “Its blood-red hair was long as a shroud and cloaked its face from view. Its overall form looked human enough, but its skin color was difficult to describe beyond that it was clearly not of this world.”

: It’s dark purple. You can describe that in two words. It almost feels like Satomi Tadashi wrote this not expecting to be a video game, like he walked into the Atlus offices one day and everyone went “Surprise! You were writing for a visual medium the whole time!”.

: “If it were so inclined, the talons on both its hands could easily tear through the lab table on which it was restrained along with the men in white standing on either side of it. It looked like it had been sedated or something.”

: “The men in white seemed to have noticed my arrival. They backed away several steps, but somehow, they didn’t seem too surprised. There was no one else in the room. A horrific premonition skittered up my spine.”

: The radio crackled. “I have to defeat the demons!” Shiori yelled. “No Shiori, you are the demons,” the radio responded. And then Shiori was basically Yaksini.

: “On the chart the process of Shiori’s metamorphosis into a demon was documented via a series of photos. By deliberately allowing a Persona to take over, they transformed her into a demon.”

: “It seemed like this was an experiment to change a person into a demon by swapping a demonic archetype sleeping in the Collective Unconsciousness with a human consciousness.”

: “As he squealed like a pig and crumpled, I grabbed the narrow-eyed man by the collar and slammed him onto the operating table.”

: “I put pressure on the narrow-eyed man’s throat with my left arm and pressed the muzzle between his eyes as I shouted.”

: Well you see, his name is Satomi Tadashi and he was subsequently let go from Atlus for what I am now convinced were a number of very good reasons. Hopefully he’ll rot in the same window seat as Hashino, where he belongs.

: “Where the hell is he?!”

: Here’s what I hate about this. Remember back in like, 2012 when they announced DmC as the successor to Devil May Cry, and it was just Tameem Antonides being shit and making Dante an edgelord, and absolutely everyone hated it? That’s basically what this is.

: “The narrow-eyed man pointed a finger trembling with terror and oxygen deprivation at the inner door. I wanted to kill him. All these bastards should die. I couldn’t stop myself from putting more strength into the arm holding him by his throat.”

: This is like if they tapped Andrew Allanson to write a Persona game. I hate this shit.

: I’m not gonna lie, I was really tempted to shut the game off, claim my PSP died and the memory stick was unsalvageable, and then go back to The Silver Case.

: “The narrow-eyed man’s eyes popped open, and his tongue lolled out as he gasped for breath. He tried to peel my arm off with both hands, but what did he think he could do when he was that weak?”

: Let me just say this. There are definitely times when this kind of thing is appropriate. Games very, very rarely take that opportunity when offered, and it generally sucks.

: But this? This is dumb. Tatsuya is going Hotline Miami on a couple of guys over some cop he’s known for all of two days and has only the minimum of emotional attachment to.

: “I returned to my senses, and when I turned around, Shiori was collapsed on the floor, convulsing, and trying to pull herself upright. The middle-aged man had reached out to the desktop computer and unlocked the lab table.”

: “When Shiori murmured those otherworldly words and rose to her knees, the room temperature dropped in an instant. With a sound like a whistle, a scalpel-sharp, freezing wind began to whirl around us.”

: “The middle-aged man kept frothing at the mouth as the blood flowing from his leg froze over. Even that spray blew into the violently spiraling wind like glittering diamond dust.”

: I’d like to pause for a moment and talk about Ithaqua. Ithaqua is basically a Cthluhu mythos fan character, written by a friend of H.P. Lovecraft’s by the name of August Derleth.

: August Derleth is the one who coined the term “Cthulhu Mythos”, and wrote a number of what are effectively fan novels set in the same universe as Lovecraft’s stories, though Lovecraft himself did read them and approved of them.

: It’s strangely appropriate because this entire thing feels like a fanfic - not to knock Derleth, who I believe won a multitude of awards for his writing - rather than something written by the original author.

: Speaking of which, August Derleth had a biography written about him where they confirmed he was either gay or bisexual, and now I’m wondering if anyone has written a gay romance story set in the Cthulhu Mythos.

: “With a feeling of despair, I stared up at the completely changed Shiori from behind as she floated into the air. ‘What do I do…?’”

: “The narrow-eyed man, or Ozuki as he was called, pointed at the big tank next to us with his eyes, as i was pinning him down. Right, this guy said he was in charge of administering anesthetic or something like that.”

: They call it the Xbox 360 because when you see it, you’ll turn 360 degrees and walk away.

: Ithaqua is an easy fight even if you’re not on Easy. She’s weak to Fire. Sure, she has ice spells - but if you played Innocent Sin, Tatsuya probably has 99 Dexterity and does not give a fuck.

: Her most annoying attack is Life Drain, which does around 100 damage and heals her for the same amount. Fortunately, she was taking something like 400 from each Agidyne. Anyway, for the next dialog bit, imagine Shiori making unintelligible grunting noises between Tatsuya’s lines - I’m cutting them out.

: “When I tackled Shiori to the ground, I sliced open the thick anesthesia pipe creeping through the floor with my sword. Liquid gas blew out from the pipe and splashed all over Shiori. Baring her fangs, Shiori tried to stand. With deadly precision, she slammed into the pipe with all her strength.”

: This… also makes no sense. He’s describing the stuff being a liquid and Shiori being affected by having it “splash” on her, but then it’s a gas apparently?

: “Ozuki, who was trembling in a corner of the room, turned the tank’s valve shut. When I glanced at the middle-aged man, I saw he was frozen to death with a gruesome expression of manic delight.”

: “Ozuki came up next to me and looked down at Shiori. He also glanced at the middle-aged man’s corpse, but he averted his eyes in a hurry.”

: “If the middle-aged man hadn’t undone Shiori’s bindings, I might have run away with my hatred and killed Ozuki. Sure, he participated in the experiment that put Shiori in this state, but he also gave me a hint on how to put her to sleep.”

: This seems like bad writing, and it is… but there’s a reason for it. Ozuki is a reference to a character in SMT IF by the name of Otsuki, who is basically a joke boss. Otsuki winds up dropping an item you need to fight one of the major bosses. His entire shtick is that he refuses to believe demons are real.

: The more I read about SMT IF, the more I want to play it, because it has a lot of similarities to Persona 1.

: “Shinjo… or rather, Kandori. You said he was just ahead, right?”

: “I’ll be back.”

: “I left Shiori behind and headed through the door Ozuki pointed out, the one that lead further inside. Takahisa Kandori. I knew the name, if nothing else. I could have sworn that Yukino and her friends killed him three years ago during the Mikage-cho incident. And yet, he was here.”

: Hold the fuck on! Time out! You just called Yukino by her first name, despite referring to her by her last name every other time! I don’t think this is the translator fucking up.

: “No way it’s a coincidence. That JSM thing must be the core of this lab’s research; it’s the only way they could be manipulating rumors and increasing Jokers on such a large scale. I guess for the New World Order - or whatever they’re called - the more Jokers the better.”

: That’s also true for Yusuke.

: “When I went out through the door, the hallway continued with similar research labs on either side of me, with matching doors. Eventually I reached the end of the hallway and approached a unique-looking steel door.”

: “When I stood in front of the door, I heard Eikichi’s indistinct screams. It sounded like he got captured and dragged here. He was probably being used as a hostage to threaten Maya and the others.”

: “You’re still a kid… I’m disappointed. You can’t handle a company if you lose sight of your goals so easily…”

: “This voice must be that man Kandori’s.”

: “Allow me to teach you how to cast them aside.”

: “By the sound of things, Eikichi was in danger. Judging by the location of the voices, Eikichi was to my right and Kandori to my left. First of all, the door right in front of me must be between them. The door’s hinges weren’t on this side, which meant it opened outwards.”

: “Adrenaline raging, I saw the situation around me unfold with grim desperation. My senses were so honed I felt like a radar. I could see every movement clearly, and every noise was clear as a bell. Immediately next to me, in the corner of my right eye, I saw Eikichi crouching down, and behind him, a security guard was pressing a gun to his head.”

: “In the huge room before my eyes, there was a large apparatus like a revolver cylinder. Countless rows of test tube-like tanks filled with a bizarre sticky black goo lined up all around it. In front of that machine, Maya, my older brother, and the others were surrounded by security guards who had guns trained on them from a stair leading a level above them. God dammit, I told you so!”

: “Based on everyone’s relative positions, I got that Maya and the others were on the third floor, while Eikichi, Kandori, the security guards and I were on the landing on the fourth floor leading into an atrium. After that, my body moved before I could think.”

: Remember how you had that scene just minutes ago where Nyarlathotep is trying to goad Tatsuya into murder, and he doesn’t kill that guy, and now he just says “fuck it” and kills a guy. Yeah.

: “I’ve heard that when another target jumps out in front of someone suddenly, they’ll be confused for an instant about which one they should shoot. I ended that guy before he could come to a conclusion.”

: Clearly the message Tatsuya took away from that was that it’s perfectly fine to kill people so long as he doesn’t choke them out, and as long as they’re not a reference to SMT If.

: “I immediately straightened again and turned past the door. A man in shades with a flashy scar on his face pointed a handgun at me, which was still trailing a faint line of smoke from the muzzle.”

: “Not at all shaken, the corner of his mouth floated into a shallow smile. If you blended cynicism with fatigue, affectation with caprice, and nihilism with an excess of talent, you’d probably end up with a man like this. This must have been Kandori.”

: I’m gonna skip ahead a bit, because the game re-plays the exact lines from when we did this as Maya and at this point the update’s long enough as it is. Everything is exactly the same, except Tatsuya describes the action parts.

: “It’s clear that the Persona Kandori bore was the incarnation of ‘him’. He almost completely erased the presence of his Persona, just like I did. I didn’t notice him until he was right under my nose. Fury flowed through my veins, and I was completely awash in hatred.”

: “I was burning up.”

: “It is not because it reflects the light of the sun; it’s because it is embraced by darkness. The deeper the darkness, the brighter its light shines.”

: “My field of vision was narrowing.”

: “Maya Amano, too, will inevitably fall into darkness. You, too, must become a black sun.”

: Here’s our last boss fight of the scenario, against, uh…

: The original translators called him “Capricious Takahisa Kandori”, which sounds a lot less weirdly horny.

: Kandori is immune to practically everything, and the only thing that will work on him is Tatsuya’s shitty physical skill.

: He still has Eternal Black, which reduces Tatsuya’s remaining HP by half instead of simply being a massive Curse-element nuke.

: The best thing he can do is waste turns casting Shadow Force, which obscures your HP and SP values. The game will turn the ?'s red if you are critically low.

: Crawling Chaos is the attack that sucks. It doesn’t hit particularly hard, but it will cause Mute almost every time it hits. This is why we needed those Ohnusas - without them, this fight becomes unwinnable. Why?

: Because Kandori has Diarama, which he’ll start casting once he’s below half HP. Diarama can easily out-heal Tatsuya’s physical attack, and can almost out-heal his physical skill.

: Several dozen rounds of punching Kandori in the dick later, and he’s dead. This fight is one you definitely do not want to do on Normal, because on Normal I would have almost certainly needed to stop and recover SP.

: “How do I turn Shiori back to normal!?”

: “I scythed my blade to the left but couldn’t pull back, so I shoved the pommel forward with my left palm and aimed a stab for his upper lip.”

: “I’ll give you a hint.”

: “Kandori tilted his face out of the way, and when my blade grazed his ear, he grabbed it with his left hand. All I had to do was pull back, and it’d cost him his fingers. He gave me a broad, natural smile.”

: “However, even when I yanked it with all my strength, my sword didn’t move a centimeter. It was like it was caught in a vise.”

: “Creation is the synthesis of contradictions. When difficult and conflicting things coexist and become one, something new is born.”

: “The hell does that mean?”

: “It means that both you and I are merely actors playing our roles. However, there is nothing degrading about this. The process is essential to the result.”

: “Shut up! You’re just an errand boy!”

: “Hmph… if you wish to save Shiori Miyashiro, seek out a suitable place for her. Assuming, of course, that you suppose you’re capable of obtaining all of her contradictory values at once.”

: What I’m getting from this is that we have to bring Shiori to the dump, or maybe to a tire fire.

: “While I was staggered, he leapt light-footed over the railing and jumped down to the floor below.”

: “Think it over long and hard as you play your little games.”

: “Kandori looked up at me, baoding balls in his hand held aloft, then passed through the door downstairs and disappeared.”

: In case you’re curious, Kandori apparently carries a set of baoding balls - this is something he did in Persona 1, but you’d never notice it due to how low-res everything is.

: Baoding balls are an alternative medicine thing from China. They’re small metal balls which you’re meant to move around each other in a circle with one hand. Supposedly there are health benefits to doing so, but in reality it’s a bunch of jangly key man bullshit that relies on the same junk science as acupuncture.

: If you’ve ever seen Steel Ball Run (aka Part 7 of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure), the steel balls Gyro uses are basically giant baoding balls.

: “That shades-wearing asshole jumped me in the parking lot… I’m such a loser.”

: “Don’t worry about it. You’re a great guy. More importantly, I need to ask you for a favor, man-to-man…”

: “That’s right, there was no need for him to worry about something like that. I owed him so much myself that a lifetime wouldn’t be enough to pay it back.”

: “What is it? Tell me anything, man.”

: “Don’t tell anything to Ma- I mean, Amano about how we met here or what we talked about. You and I met for the first time back there. Got it?”

: “Looks like you got your reasons. Got it, man. My lips are sealed.”

: “I could just picture Maya asking Eikichi all about me. I wanted to cut off as much information about me and the Other Side as I could.”

: “But you know, Suou… if talking it out would make you feel better, I’ll listen. I dunno if you can count on me, but…”

: “This guy… he hadn’t changed at all. He was a scatterbrained idiot, a narcissist, and the most kindhearted and reliable guy I’d ever known. From the depths of his heart, he was completely single-minded and completely good. I would absolutely keep my word. I remembered the last words he told me on the Other Side.”

: “Got it. I still got things to do. I can’t see you off, but make sure you get back to the parking lot soon.”

: “Yeah, sure thing. Thanks again, Suou! Be careful out there.”

: “Eikichi clapped my shoulder and left. I’d probably never see him again. So long, Eikichi.”

: “I turned around to face Ozuki. I didn’t have time to immerse myself in sentimentality.”

: “Me and those other people set that guy just now and the other inmates free. They might take you to the Nanjo Memorial Hospital or somewhere. If you’re with the, you’ll come in handy. Will you cooperate with them?”

: “I crouched down next to the completely transformed Shiori and stuck my hands under her arms to test her weight. Looks like I could manage carrying her out.”

: And thank god that’s over. Playing through Tatsuya’s scenario is honestly a chore - I really didn’t want to do it, and then I got halfway through and REALLY didn’t want to do it.

: Next time, we’ll do the Abandoned Factory as we return to the actual game and not a shitty visual novel.

[Timrod]

Summary

: The Abandoned Factory is… actually quite short if you’re not doing the mapping sidequest. Not gonna be a lot of content this update, which I’m fine with after how bad Tatsuya’s Scenario was.

New Persona: Stymphalides

Origin: Greece

First Appearance: Devil Summoner

Birds of prey with brass wings that can fire their feathers like arrows. Killed by Hercules after they attacked him.

: Before I went in, I fused Stymphalides for Maya. This was a mistake for two reasons: the first being that Stymphalides has a weakness to Gun, the second being that by having Zanma, we unlocked The Spell That Kills Katsuya. We’ll see that in just a bit.

: You might ask why I wanted it, and the reason is for what it can potentially mutate into. On a side note, the PS1 translation has his name as “Stuparideth”. No, I did not make that up.

: I also cashed in Gullinbursti and got Njord for Katsuya.

: The shipping containers here are disproportionately huge. I mean, this one container looks to be somewhere between three and four times the height of a person, when in real life shipping containers are maybe 8 to 10 feet tall.

: “Hey… why do you hate them so much?”

: “…”

: I didn’t skip anything, it goes from Katsuya’s line directly to the mech shooting at the Taiwanese guys.

: Like I said, that’s a huge fucking container.

: “They knew they were being bugged. That phone call was a trap to kill us along with the Mafia.”

: In my head, I had this picture of Baofu knocking on Tatsuzou Sudou’s door and saying he’s the phone repairman without even having a disguise.

: “What!? So then, Baofu… oh crap, we have to tell him!”

: “Worry about yourself. I’m sure he knows…”

: Here’s the map of the factory. It’s much smaller than Innocent Sin’s, but still has a lot of empty space.

: If this was a modern game there would be an achievement for doing that, but we actually can’t get to the boss if we do that.

: Shoggoths are common enemies in the factory. You might notice that Baofu isn’t in the party - without him, our negotiation options are extremely limited.

: In particular, Shoggoths suck because they can poison and also possess. Thankfully, we have a bunch of healing items left over from Tatsuya’s Scenario.

: Agrippa (the guy with the big blue head) is also here and very annoying. He nulls magic, and so it’s usually better to just run from him since again, we cannot negotiate.

: This fight showcases a localization failure: the demon in the back is simply called “Demon King” despite very clearly being Oda Nobunaga. His name is “Dairoku Tenmaou”, which means “Demon King of the Sixth Heaven” and is basically the Japanese Buddhist equivalent of Mara.

: Nobunaga took “Dairoku Tenmaou” as a nickname because of course he would. This also shows off my first accidental use of The Spell That Kills Katsuya.

: The Spell That Kills Katsuya is a fusion spell called “Low-End Breaker”, which is performed using Zanma and any Light spell. It was in Innocent Sin and was actually fairly useful in that it would always target the lowest-level enemy.

: In Eternal Punishment, for some fucking stupid reason, Low-End Breaker targets the lowest level character in combat - and this includes your party members. Katsuya is the lowest level at 34, so he gets hit with it every time.

: We come to the first big empty room, which I spend several minutes in running around to fill in map squares.

: For an “abandoned” factory, it clearly hasn’t been abandoned long. That made sense in Innocent Sin due to the workers evacuating because of the demons spawned by the rumor about the liquid waste facility, but makes no sense in Eternal Punishment.

: Shortly afterward, we wind up in Conveyor Belt Hell. If you want to complete the map, you have to make a minimum of three full laps of this place - it took me more because I didn’t have the map up. I only have one monitor and have to record in full screen.

: The locked door is fairly easy to find, but we don’t have the password.

: There’s a hole right near the locked door, which we can use to go to the floor below, which is big and empty and serves only to inconvenience you.

: What I didn’t realize is that it’s easier to get the conveyors mapped after you change them, so I wound up going through twice to get both loops.

: There’s a second hole in the conveyor loop that brings us to the other side of B2F, where the password is. I’m not sure what the significance of March 26th, 1975 is.

: I know it’s not Satomi Tadashi’s birthday (he was born in 1970), isn’t Kazuma Kaneko’s (he was born in 1964), and isn’t Masayuki Doi’s (1976).

: You can also find a Sumaru Magazine here, which you can use to buy more soundtrack music at Giga Macho. I don’t know why I’m even mentioning this.

: Pattern B changes the direction of the upper belts to allow us access to the boss area.

: I decided to clean up the map a bit first. As you can see, the only way back to the start of the belt maze is a third hole trap. We have to do this three times. It sucks.

: I got all the way through this, made it to the boss room, and then realized I had left exactly one tiny square of map all the way at the start unpainted. Fuck.

: And now we can move on. Trust me, the reward is actually worth it this time - especially given that this is way less annoying than the lab or Smile Hirasaka.

: Baofu has finally done it. He has become anime. He’s gonna be the fuckin’ Hokage.

: Baofu just took out a guy dual-wielding pistols with coins. Why the fuck did we not get anything like this in Persona 5, where they had the graphical quality to make it work?

: He slowly gets up and kinda shambles toward Yung Pao, in a manner that I imagine would look a lot like that scene from Yakuza 0 in the prison in 3D.

: This fucking rules.

: I knew it was suspicious that a Taiwanese guy gave a shit about Japanese baseball. Remember back when we met Nanjo, and I said there was a cut that was a dead giveaway as to who Baofu is?

: That’s because we met Baofu in person in Innocent Sin in that same spot. It happens during Tatsuya’s flashback in the bomb shelter.

: “No way… a prosecutor…”

: Yep. Kaoru/Baofu is the only character in the entire Persona series to be a cop, realize being a cop sucks, and then stop being a cop.

: Yes, I know Adachi exists, but he doesn’t count.

: “Five years ago, there was an accident where a couple - a prosecutor and a secretary - died while traveling in Taiwan…It wasn’t a trip, nor was it an accident… the Minister of Justice covered it up. I didn’t know…”

: “So what was it, Baofu? Was this to avenge Miki Asai…? Or…”

: “Shut up, Suou… you don’t know anything…”

: “You knew your tap was found… you knew this was a trap. You made us stall them so you could kill him.”

: “I-Is that true…?”

: “Is that what you had in mind all along…? To use us…”

: “So, what are you gonna do about it, Suou!? Just stay outta my way!”

: At first, I thought this argument kinda made sense. At least with Persona 2’s setting, people definitely know the Jokers were a thing and that there were guys walking around with giant tanks full of the embodiment of sin. You could prove this in court, as weird as it sounds.

: Compare that to Persona 5 where Sae essentially would be walking into a courtroom, going “Your honor, this kid would like to confess to being in the magic brain dimension that only a handful of people can actually get to and which no one can get to anymore because it stopped existing” and yeah, it makes sense.

: But then you realize that Baofu is proof the entire justice system is corrupt and in Tatsuzou’s pocket and uh… yeah actually it doesn’t make sense anymore.

: Baofu fires his gun, apparently at Katsuya.

: Enter Not-Hitlerbot, now in green.

: This fight is an absolute pushover, even on Normal. Everyone but Maya has some level of gun resistance, and gun attacks are all this thing has.

: Not-Hitlerbot 2.0 is weak to Electric as opposed to Nuclear, probably because of how difficult Nuclear attacks are to get in this game. Only a handful of Personas learn them naturally, and most of the ones that do are mutation-only.

: Maya can also throw in some damage due to her capped-out Dexterity and the fact that Not-Hitlerbot doesn’t resist Almighty. It resists almost everything else.

: This time around, the boss gets a Muramasa Copy off. It did hit Nanjo once, which admittedly sucked - except that Nanjo’s sword is Electric-based.

: I wasn’t convinced Maya was going to survive, because the boss’s 30mm Artillery move (which we saw in Tatsuya’s Scenario, the movesets are identical) was hitting her for like 70% of her HP.

: The Spell That Kills Katsuya is now The Spell That Kills Baofu, which sucks because Baofu carries this plot on his back. Seriously, how many times has Katsuya been plot-relevant up to now?

: “I know you wouldn’t… it’s not your style…”

: Ah yes, the infamous Adell Dodge, used in place of Disgaea 2 having an actual plot or character motivation.

: “Ha… maybe… maybe not…”

: If I was writing this, Baofu ABSOLUTELY would’ve ended Yung Pao before Katsuya even had a chance to speak. In fact, I might just do that. Let’s save it for the end.

: It’s the cruiser he uses to bring all the guns and secret science base equipment to people. Let’s look at our rewards for the mapping sidequest before I bring this to a close.

: Another Grydyne card. Not bad. But…

: We also get two of every buff. Next update, I’m going to make sure to fuse some Personas with these for faster boss kills before we take on Eternal Punishment’s take on the zodiac temples.

: And now, here’s how I would have written that scene.

: “Five years… it still wasn’t enough time to make me forget. See ya in hell…”

: Baofu shoots Yung Pao in the head, twice.

: “Hold it right there, Saga! …Dammit. I’m too late.”

: “You don’t know anything, Suou. What did you think was going to happen? We’d arrest him? And then bring him to who? The Ministry of Justice, which you know just as well as I do is in Tatsuzou’s pocket?”

: “Or maybe we’ll take him to the police station on the other side of town. You know, the one where the top brass are part of the New World Order.”

: “But-”

: “Oh, you’re right. We could take him to Tokyo and have him prosecuted there… and play directly into Tatsuzou’s hand. He wants us to make the New World Order and all of that dragon and kegare crap real. Or were you not listening to a word Shimazu said?”

: “…”

: “Exactly. I did him a favor. If I didn’t kill him, did you really think he was going to survive the night? Do you really think Tatsuzou is going to stop hunting him?”

: And now, a line I wouldn’t actually put in but absolutely should.

: “You fuckin’ idiot. This is why a decade from now, I’m gonna have a semi-illegitimate daughter with a government researcher and you’ll be working for a dumbass bitch with a tramp stamp of a dog.”

: “You know what that says? It says ‘raw dog my ass’, Suou. It says ‘raw dog my ass’. That is what it says. You absolute goddamn moron.”

[Timrod]

Oh shit, that’s right, I forgot. That picture I got Salty Vanilla to do several updates ago is done.

[Timrod]

Summary

: Before we head off to the Nichirinmaru, I tried to fuse some new Personas. Unfortunately, most of the good ones are just outside our level range, but I did make Vivian, who… only kinda sucks.

New Persona: Vivian

Origin: England

First Appearance: Soul Hackers

Lady of the Lake in the legend of King Arthur. Gave Arthur Excalibur and was briefly Merlin’s lover before going mad with power and imprisoning him.

: We want Vivian because she has a Ma-Dyne spell, but also because she gives an AGI bonus. This makes her ideal for putting a buff onto, which is exactly what I do.

: There’s a rumor demon on the Nichirinmaru, but it apparently only exists on Elly’s route - so we’re not doing that, I guess.

: With this, Ulala should go before Maya pretty consistently and be able to buff her damage. Even though we’re well past the halfway point of the game, Makakaja doesn’t really show up until the mid-50 level range.

: “This is taking too long…”

: “That’s why I must go. It is important for me right now to actually witness that power… It’s not something I can just inherit.”

: There’s a line here I screwed up recording. The line is “Yamaoka… the young master has grown up well. It is all thanks to you and his friends…”

: There’s also a shot of Nanjo’s speedboat I missed because I was tired as shit while recording this.

: Oh look, it’s Chizuru. Cool how she shows up here after kinda dropping off the face of the Earth.

: “They want the Seal removed right away… they’re getting a little impatient. Shinjo, no Kandori. There’s been something I wanted to ask you. Why would someone as great as you be controlled by one such as Tatsuzou?”

: This is exactly how the text is in game. She is literally walking up to Kandori and going “Shinjo, no Kandori” as in “Shino, no Kandori for you, go to bed.”

: “Do you despise him…? Because you are… a woman…”

: “You should exterminate the old order and become leader! You must lead us…”

: “It doesn’t matter to me…”

: “Your only concern is with them and… that boy of the Paradox… why are you so obsessed with them!?”

: “Ha… you underestimate me…”

: There’s an explosion, and the screen shakes.

: Nanjo apparently has a cannon mounted to that speedboat.

: The ship’s on fire. Is this going to be a thing like the Aerospace Museum? Nope! This is Cutscene Fire.

: Katsuya and Maya shoot one guard each, meaning that now everyone in the party has killed a man.

: “He doesn’t look it, but he’s quite violent… once he’s enraged, there’s no stopping him.”

: Oh right, Ulala hasn’t killed anyone yet.

: Like most dungeons, the Nichirinmaru is very big and very empty.

: The enemy list is almost identical to the Abandoned Factory’s, so for the most part during recording I was going for cards rather than EXP.

: There’s a handful of items, but only two of them matter: there’s a material card near the end and an HP incense that I fed to Maya.

: The first floor is a giant loop that leads to the elevator, which is how we access the rest of the dungeon.

: Both 2F and B1 have staircases that lead to hidden areas on the first floor… most of which have nothing in them and are there just to make the mapping sidequest harder.

: There’s a Velvet Room on the second floor, which I use to make a new Persona for Katsuya.

New Persona: Takshaka

Origin: India

First Appearance: Innocent Sin

Naga king in Indian myth. Fought against humanity until being captured by the devas and effectively exiled.

: Takshaka is another Persona I fused in hopes of getting a mutation. He’s pretty garbage until Max Rank, when he learns Grydyne.

: I spend a while mapping this whole place out, even though at this point we really don’t have much of a reason to.

: B2F has a single staircase that goes to B3F, which is the transition between the first map of the Nichirinmaru and the second map.

: This introduces a few new enemies, including Rakshasha, Orthrus, and Leviathan. You can’t see it, but Katsuya now has a negotiation with Baofu where he starts interrogating and then Baofu punches the enemy as the screen goes black.

: From B3F, we go back up to the other side of B2F, which has a dumb gimmick involving holes around an optional cutscene room. We need to fall down both to map the whole thing.

: One of these holes leads to a material card that makes a Persona who is actually pretty good… if we weren’t one level off from being able to fuse it.

: Instead, I fuse Huracan for Baofu, as he hasn’t had a new Persona in forever. Huracan is absolute garbage.

New Trashsona: Huracan

Origin: Mayan Myth

First Appearance: Innocent Sin

Mayan creator god associated with storms, fire, wind, and lightning. Name means “one-legged”.

: On paper, Huracan doesn’t sound terrible… except that you need to hit Rank 7 to get anything that isn’t a shitty physical attack. Worse, Heat Wave actually fucked me over during a boss attempt. Let me explain why that is.

: Heat Wave and Vile Lightning (which Nanjo has) make a really, really shitty physical-based fusion spell. It does piddling damage, costs a shit-ton of SP, and is generally worthless. The problem is that I have fusion spells set to use automatically if they happen, and due to Baofu being the second-slowest character (with Nanjo the slowest) it kept going off by itself.

: I can also use Heat Wave and Bufudyne on Ulala to get Icy Fury EX, which is exactly the same thing. I set the game to auto for a bit and just had Baofu and Ulala use that spell.

: The good news is that we unlock a mutation I was looking for. The bad news is that Vivian got hit with it - meaning we lose our only source of buffs.

: After climbing a back staircase to the second floor again, we get the boss warning. The Nichirinmaru is a little tricky in that you can’t finish mapping it until after the boss.

: This guy blocks the way to the next dungeon. We’re in the area right before the boss, but I had to go back to map out a single square near the start of the dungeon so let’s do that cutscene room.

: “Hmmm… where are the Undersea Ruins?”

: “Right around where Amano is standing.”

: “No time to waste… let’s move.”

: Yep, that’s it. There’s also some optional dialogue:

: “Ma-ya, remember that party? It was on a cruise ship just like this… a ship is a ship, but I never thought I would have to go on a ship like this…”

: “Looks like they were plotting something evil here… you just wait… Tatsuzou…”

: “The combination of modern technology and sorcery is where New World Order excels. How fanciful for them…”

: And now it’s boss time. Behind the scenes, I put Tensen Nyannyan back on Ulala and put Vivian on Maya, even though Vivian has bad compatibility. It doesn’t matter.

: Tatsuya straight up kills both guards. So much for “I can’t play into ‘his’ hands” or whatever.

: “You fool… this world of sin and no ideals is false. Therefore, it must be punished.”

: “You’re wrong. I’m the only one who must be punished…”

: By “punished”, he means “married to my boyfriend”.

: “Such a pity… a great pity. In today’s world, how many young people are there with your sense of purpose… come join me. Together, we can create a world without man’s original sin.”

: Whoa there, buddy. You’ve got the wrong villain. That was Maruki that wanted to do the whole Psientific Model Eden thing. You’re Shido, not Maruki.

: “Fool! You don’t know what you’re talking about, old man!”

: “Don’t be ridiculous! Who’s gonna humor an old man’s delusions!”

: “Your crime is a serious one… are you aware of the penalty? Punishment by death or life imprisonment!”

: I’ll give Tatsuzou one thing - he is a master of not giving a shit.

: This fight is kinda RNG-centric. You can win pretty quickly with fusion spells… which we don’t have - provided they don’t Muramasa Copy the people doing it. My strategy is probably better.

: The reason it’s RNG is that if all the mechs decide to use their cannon, they can fuck your party up.

: My strategy works like this. Maya’s first turn is spent buffing Nanjo. Nanjo then unleashes Vile Lightning for somewhere around 500 damage per enemy.

: Maya’s second turn is spent buffing herself, and then casting Malaquadyne for around 300 damage. This is preferable to using a fusion spell because it’s a lot harder to fuck over with Muramasa Copy.

: Speaking of which, Nanjo gets sealed, so Maya has to carry the rest of the fight with Malaquadyne. Ulala does nothing but heal, and Katsuya and Baofu exist. Both of them will be much better in the next boss fight.

: We kill two, and the last one self-destructs for around 80 damage to the entire party.

: The party is definitely overleveled at this point, largely due to me having to rank up all the new Personas.

: “Why did you come…!?”

: “Leave me alone! I can do this myself!”

: “…”

: “Tatsuya…!!”

: There’s some optional dialogue while we’re here.

: “The kid pushed himself too hard…”

: “Tatsuzou escaped, but we can’t just let those guys heading toward the ruins go… Amano, let’s look for a way after them.”

: The guy sitting in the door has left. I had a friend once who called NPCs like those “door whores”. You just don’t see a good door whore anymore.

: There’s only really one thing in this entire back area worth mentioning, and that’s a monster chest that has a Garudyne card in it.

: The screen shakes and there’s an explosion in the background.

: Wait, what. Tatsuya found a fucking mech? Where the fuck did he find a mech?

: Tatsuya just… jumps off the boat. The mechs apparently double as submarines. Why did Kandori need a submarine when he has a bunch of submersible mechs? I mean, I guess the submarine theoretically holds more sin-goop, but still.

: Here’s what I want to know: who is it that’s piloting the submarine? We know it can’t be Maya after the whole Silver River bit in Innocent Sin.

: We’ll do the Undersea Ruins in another update. They’re short, but there’s an annoying demon rumor thing and I have to grind the new Personas we’ll be using for the boss there.

[Timrod]

Summary

: “…!”

: This is something I’m genuinely confused by. This game has had pretty good cutscene direction thus far, but it spends way too long panning on this shot of… a flat featureless JPEG.

: I thought “Maybe it’s a problem with my PSP’s video output” since I know the PSP has had brightness issues before, but… no. It’s not. Here’s the same shot from the LP of the PS1 version on the archive.

: Nope. The emulator shot is a bit more detailed, but not by much. It’s still a flat featureless JPEG. I have no idea why they didn’t touch it up - unless they knew they weren’t going to release it outside of Japan by this point and realized it wasn’t worth the effort.

: Time for a little bit of optional dialogue.

: “And to top it off, he’s smart as well… he’s destroyed their only way out. He’s got some mad skills…”

: “I can feel it… Kandori is here… young boy… he’s a dangerous man. Don’t get ahead of yourself…”

: I’d like to point out that Nanjo is 20 years old. Tatsuya is 17.

: The Undersea Ruins suck. They’re so bad that you don’t have to map them for Salam - this is because of the sheer number of hole traps. Let me post the map so you can see.

: We get the “boss is near” cutscene pretty early in, except there’s a hole blocking us from going straight there. Instead, we need to take a roundabout route that I wound up taking twice because of the items in it.

: South of the boss area is a set of stairs that starts the actual route to the boss room. There are a couple of hidden rooms like this with monster chests in them.

: This one has a couple of recolored Rakshashas that die in one turn and give up a Rakukaja card. The Undersea Ruins is the first place you can get buffs if you didn’t get them from the sidequest.

: For the most part, the way forward is a straight shot.

: This room is the first one to have a hole in it. The hole drops you by the Velvet Room, and means you have to run all the way back here. This dungeon really could’ve used some shortcuts.

: Whateley is a new and very common enemy who is another one of the “demons based on real people who reflect or null magic and are weak to physical” genre. You can’t make a pact with him unless you’re playing Elly’s route, and this is why I’m playing on Easy.

: Seriously though, that was one of the few good decisions Hashino made - the idea of having attacks go off individually instead of setting up the whole party. It’s annoying as hell to go from my typical spell setup to all physical and back every time one of these fuckers shows up.

: We can still negotiate him away using “Cynical People”, a technique between Nanjo and Baofu. It’s about the only non-Elly technique that works.

: In the hallway with the hole, I encounter the only Aeshma I ran into during the first run of the dungeon. Aeshma is the source of this dungeon’s demon rumor.

: Unlike the previous ones, Aeshma is a (relatively) rare spawn that you have to encounter a minimum of three times: the first to make a pact, the second to get a rumor that there’s a treasure room, and the third time to get a rumor that Leviathan can open the treasure room.

: This room has a hole trap just to the left of the box, but Miracle Eggs are a good SP restore and we might as well grab them.

: This part of B1F has a fork. We want to take the left side, I think the right side is another hole.

: There’s a somewhat hidden room in this area that we definitely want to stop by, because it’ll let me fuse new Personas now instead of waiting.

: This chest has two Succubi and a Crowley. They all resist or reflect magic but are weak to physical.

: Perfect. Unfortunately, we can’t put that on one of the Personas I want to make due to it being a mutation, but this ensures we’ll at least have a source of buffs once we mutate Vivian.

: There’s another hidden room here we might as well grab because it’s basically free.

: Shortly after this is a room that… I think my screenshot tool fucked up on because I was trying to alt-tab to pull up the map. It’s a hole maze that leads to a couple of decent items - including a Mediarama card, which I want.

: The easiest way to do this is… you can kinda see in the other screenshots that the floor has a faintly visible grid on it. Each hole is one square, and so we worm our way around to get to the stairs.

: The Orichalcum is used for weapons crafting, the Holy Light card is kinda meh, but the Mediarama card will allow me to replace Tensen Nyannyan.

: Near the boss room is a second staircase that goes down a path to an Item Breeder. If you’ll recall, this was the reward for the bullshit Tsuchinoko quest we ran into but didn’t do in the sewers. So what’s it do?

: It’s basically a free incense, provided you have an incense to use it on.

: I intentionally fall down the hole to the Velvet Room and fuse Nodens. This was a mistake and I reloaded my save almost immediately.

New Persona: Nodens

Origin: Celtic Myth

Eternal Punishment Original

Celtic healing god with a magical dog that healed people by licking them. Had a shrine in Gloucestershire, UK. No physical depictions of the original god have survived, but historical evidence points to him being a misinterpretation of the Greek god Ares. The name was later co-opted by Lovecraft as an entity who opposes Nyarlathotep.

: I think I prefer the god with the magical healing dog, because you just know there was somebody in ancient England who tried to make a god with a magic healing cat.

: Let me tell you why this is a bad idea. The next boss is Kandori, and Kandori has four Not-Hitlerbots with him that (as we already know) are made of Gun damage. Nodens is weak to guns.

: High Pressure would be really nice because that’d give us access to God Hand, a fusion spell from Innocent Sin that fucked up pretty much everything.

: On second thought, coming to the Velvet Room was a mistake because everything sucks. Let’s take a look at Ildanach, for example.

: No weakness to Gun - that’s good… except all his damage is Light-based, and Kandori is immune. Fuck.

: Armaiti is the only thing we can fuse that doesn’t suck… except we need Tetraja to avoid Kandori instakilling everyone. I have to do it because Stymphalides is a piece of shit.

: While grinding, I get incredibly lucky and get demon rumor one of two from Aeshma after about thirty seconds.

: Rumor two of two comes two encounters later. I cannot believe my luck and save immediately. I should note that you don’t have to spread these for them to work.

: It takes me longer to find a Leviathan than it did to get the rumors from Aeshma. Let’s do this and see what we get.

: The treasure room is basically a tower defense maze made of damage floors, because we haven’t been through enough annoying bullshit in this game yet.

: There are eight chests. Five of them have high-end skill cards… which for the most part are completely pointless. By the end of this dungeon, we can fuse Personas up to level 50. At that level, it’s uncommon to see Personas that don’t have a -dyne or ma-dyne spell. Plus, we have buffs now and that’s what we want to blow our skill card slot on.

: The other three have what turns out to be materials you can use at Padparacha. So, are they worth it? Let’s just skip ahead a bit.

: We can use it to make two useless weapons: the Super Nova and Kusanagi’s Sword. You can also make the Hihi-Irokane armor, but you need a second Hihi-Irokane for that.

: What I’d like to point out is that we’re maybe one dungeon from getting the materials for an ultimate weapon. Now, how do you get a Sun Stone (or a Moon Stone for the sword)? Well, uh…

: You have to buy them. From the store. For almost a million yen each. To upgrade ONE WEAPON. I think this is the most useless sidequest reward I’ve seen since YIIK. Fuck this shit! And you know what the worst part is? Now we have to go through the entire dungeon again.

: Oh, look, it’s this exact cutscene again.

: A seal controlling a dragon sounds like something you’d see in The Silver Case. Kusabi would track the seal down and try to offer it fish so he can pass it off as a horse at the racetrack.

: “Dragons, a huge energy flowing underground… now, by releasing the Kegare with the dragon, this world will be obliterated… right now, Gozen and Tatsuzou are headed towards Torifune… you’ve lost.”

: “I’d like to tell you to chase them, but… I’m just a peon… I can’t just let you return. Please honor me by being my opponents.”

: The fight starts with four X-2 mechs and Kandori. Kandori starts the fight guarding, and won’t break his guard until the mechs are almost dead. Like the ones we’ve fought before, the mechs are weak to Electric damage - but there’s one key difference in that they do not have the AOE gun attack the others did.

: They have 2500 HP each, and I have Ulala buff Nanjo to make it faster. I also have her buff Baofu, who is a surprisingly competent caster for a character whose stats I have no control over.

: Kandori activates before the mechs die, presumably because Nanjo and Baofu were hitting everyone on the field, including him. Now it’s time to use Armaiti.

: If you’ll recall from Tatsuya’s Scenario (and also Persona 1), Kandori has Eternal Black, which halves the entire party’s HP. It’s a lot more effective against the main party because he has a couple of new moves he didn’t have against Tatsuya that he can combo with for a potential instakill.

: Tetraja outright blocks Eternal Black, and pretty much nullifies his one gimmick.

: We kill the mechs, and now Kandori unlocks his full moveset, including what is normally his win condition.

: Wheel of Time is a full-party Almighty attack that starts out weak, but gets 10% stronger every time Kandori casts it… which is, strangely enough, a perfect inverse for how the Wheel of Time series works. Wheel of Time started out strong and then took a nosedive with every subsequent book.

: Kandori also has Myriad Arrows, which is why we couldn’t use Nodens. Unlike the later games, Myriad Arrows does Gun damage in Eternal Punishment. Keep in mind this is on Easy because I forgot to change it over after grinding out the demon rumor.

: I don’t really mind because there is a cheese strat you can use that makes this fight a joke. There are two Personas - one being Prince Shotoku (who we saw earlier) and the other being Hoenir - that reflect or null everything Kandori can possibly do except for Wheel of Time.

: The strategy here, assuming you have Tetraja, is pretty simple. You keep Tetraja up to block Eternal Black, have someone cast Mediarama every turn, and then do what damage you can.

: If you don’t have Tetraja, you can use an item called Silver Manisha that does the same thing - chances are you probably have a few (I had 5) from demon drops. Whateley drops them as a last resort.

: “Can you break the chains of fate?”

: I thought about this whole scene after I recorded it, and I realized that honestly, bringing Kandori back like this was kind of dumb. I appreciate all the Persona 1 references, but it just… doesn’t work.

: In Persona 1, Kandori had character development - he goes from an amoral Patrick Bateman type who wants to end humanity and presumably do the Thousand Year Kingdom of God bit to realizing that maybe destroying humanity was a dumb idea and dying.

: This whole thing is really just a rehash of Persona 1, and it doesn’t really make sense. I could understand if it was a thing like with Hitler, where it’s really just Nyarlathotep wearing Kandori’s skin, but no, this is supposed to be the same Kandori from Persona 1.

: It also REALLY doesn’t make sense that Reiji has zero involvement in all of this. Reiji was an underdeveloped character in Persona 1 and absolutely could’ve used the screen time to maybe show how he changes from a kid whose only motivation in life is killing his half-brother to now, where he kind of feels sorry for Kandori.

: “Ha… Hurry, before it’s too late…! This place won’t last much longer…”

: Kandori goes about as close to Geese Howard as you can get without being dropped from a giant tower in the middle of Tokyo.

: Everyone just kinda files out.

: “I regret leading you to this end…”

: “No… I was happy just to be with you…”

: And this is why once you have a mech, you never, ever step outside of the mech.

: You know, I bet Shido’s cruise ship thing had an emergency submarine the whole time, we just never found it because Morgana sucks.

: “What exactly are you hiding… can’t you tell us by now?”

: Actually… why doesn’t he? Nyarlathotep is clearly like two steps from ending the world again, you’d think at this point it wouldn’t make a difference.

: “Please… don’t get involved with me…”

: Clearly, he wiretapped Jun. Either that or he used the bugs he has in the police station.

: “He had Nanjo research you. He really hates to lose…”

: “Amano went through a lot, just to see you… she was even marked for death by a Joker because of that idiot there.”

: “Haven’t you done enough all by yourself…?”

: “I’m not… your little brother…”

: Well, I mean, obviously. Baofu’s last name is Saga, so…

: Of course, we know what he means thanks to us having done Tatsuya’s Scenario. Speaking of which, I looked it up, and the third part of Tatsuya’s Scenario is almost entirely superbosses.

: “Easy there, Suou.”

: “If I talk… will you back off…?”

: “Depends on what you say. Right, Amano?”

: Next time, we’ll go to the Alaya Shrine, which I’m guessing is going to be a recap of Innocent Sin. I honestly don’t know.

[Timrod]

Summary

: This next part is going to largely be a rehash of Innocent Sin’s plot. If you’ve read the Innocent Sin LP, you can probably skip a lot of the plot segments.

: I also found out I made a mistake. There is actually a rumor demon quest we could’ve done on the Nichirinmaru, even on Nanjo’s route - the difference is that on Elly’s route, the reward is actually worth it.

: On Nanjo’s route, you get a sword. It’s an okay sword, but… we’re almost to ultimate weapons and never use physical attacks anyway.

: Before we go to the Alaya Shrine, there is something very important we need to do in the Bomb Shelter. It’s in Area 5, which requires a demon rumor to access from the main room.

: Area 4 is very short, and there’s only one thing we need in Area 5. Once we have it, we never really need to go back - hence why I’m not going to grind the demon rumor.

: Something tells me Kuroki wasn’t very popular… until she was and then it turns into a generic “cute girls doing cute things” manga.

: I grab the map for Area 4 quick - it’s not that far out of the way and I figure it’s worth it in case I ever come back for any reason.

: Area 5 has a poster on the wall which unlocks one in the main room. You might ask what all this is for, and I didn’t know so I looked it up.

: If you get all of Sachiko’s letters, you can solve a thing in the end of the Bomb Shelter that gives you a legendary weapon material… and a special reward because we played Innocent Sin.

: I grab the map and settle in for the long haul. We’re going after a rare demon that drops a material card - more specifically, we’re going to hunt down the final boss of Persona 4.

: I run into her a few seconds later. Izanami has the best healing skill in the game. It’s only available on four Personas, one of which is the final reward for that thing we did with the shrine at the start of the game. I uh, have some bad news about that, by the way.

: The guide written by the translator made it seem like you could get Fool cards basically free in Tatsuya’s Scenario Part 3. That’s… only kinda true. You need to fight two superbosses.

: Izanami T-poses when she takes damage, which I found kinda amusing.

: I was playing this on Easy to avoid encounters, so I didn’t get hit by Diamond Dust here as hard as I probably should’ve.

: Izanami also has an instakill move, but it rarely works.

: We still need a bit of EXP to fuse Izanami, so I grind out another level on Maya.

New Persona: Izanami

Origin: Japan

First Appearance: Megami Tensei Novels

Shinto mother goddess and wife to Izanagi. Died giving birth to Hi no Kagutsuchi, and later went through a bitter divorce as a zombie.

: We need Izanami for a number of reasons. Remember how I said that we need to kill some superbosses? One of them spams dark/light-based instakills, which Izanami nulls. Heartfelt Prayer is one of the best heals in the game, and is only available on four Personas, one of which is the end reward for the shrine thing at the start of the game.

: “Ma-ya, what’s wrong?!”

: This is a flashback to this same scene in Innocent Sin, so I’ll use the shots from Innocent Sin instead to avoid honorifics. The scenes are word-for-word identical… or would be if this game’s translation was as good as Innocent Sin’s. Eternal Punishment’s version does not identify Sudou or Maya.

: The Eternal Punishment version is kind of a downgrade, because instead of engulfing Sudou in flames, Vulcanus just tosses a little fireball at him.

: I’m also kinda curious how people who never got to play Innocent Sin took this scene in, because again, there’s no explanation of the context.

: “Deja vu again… Amano?”

: “So… you have it too… the memory of the ‘Other Side’ is inside Maya…”

: “Ma-ya, what did you see?”

: And now, for a line that completely contradicts Tatsuya’s Scenario, and is one of the reasons Tatsuya’s Scenario is non-canon.

: “I used to bring Tatsuya here when we were little. No doubt about it.”

: Again, the only way Tatsuya’s Scenario can be canon is if Sudou came to the shrine expecting to light it on fire, killed Shiori’s brother, and then went “Nah fuck it” and left.

: Yep, it’s time for another recycled dungeon from Innocent Sin - only this time it’s even less relevant because Baofu and Katsuya were never part of the whole Masked Circle thing.

: If by some chance you are playing along, the FIRST THING YOU WANT TO DO is go to Salam and get the mapping sidequest. If you are playing the PS1 version, this is the ONLY WAY, outside of savestate abuse, to get the Fool cards you need for the shrine sidequest.

: You’ll want to do this anyway, even if you haven’t done any of the other mapping quests. Mt. Iwato is incredibly reasonable compared to some of the other dungeons, and you’ll want to explore it anyway because that’s how you get all the ultimate Personas.

: I also went ahead and fused Nodens and Ildanach. We still have Armaiti with Mediarama (since Heartfelt Prayer can’t be used outside of combat). Ildanach in particular is very nice to have because there’s a demon rumor we can pick up later on that gives him a guaranteed mutation.

: I should mention as well that there’s another sidequest in Giga Macho we could do to make a legendary weapon… except it requires killing another metal slime with physical attacks only. Fuck that.

: My plan is to get all the other legendary weapons and then go back and do that one with savestates on an emulator.

: One thing you will definitely want to do before going to Mt. Iwato is to pack at least a few antidotes and some SP recovery items. We have to map damage floors again.

: Let’s post the map. You’ll see pretty much immediately why we need to pack antidotes.

: There’s some optional dialogue here. Going forward, I will not be showing any scenes that were in Innocent Sin - instead, I’ll tell you where in Innocent Sin they were so you can look them up in the Innocent Sin LP.

“Iwato… Alaya Shrine… those were from Mikage-cho, but this is my first visit…”

: “What should we do, Ma-ya? I kinda have a feeling… it might be better if we don’t go…”

: “Amano… are we trying to find out what we do not need to know? Is that the case… with Tatsuya?”

: “Showing people’s pasts… you’ve gotta be kiddin’ me…”

: The enemies here are largely the same as the Undersea Ruins, with a couple new additions. Hunab Ku is fairly easy to negotiate with and gives a decent amount of cards.

: Lucifuge is why I am playing this on Easy. He is immune to magic, and always appears with enemies who are strong against physical. I made a pact with him but got bored of constantly negotiating him away pretty quickly.

: By the way, here’s one of the reasons we want Izanami. Diamai (and its multi-target counterpart, Mediamai) are done by using Heartfelt Prayer and any healing spell. They act like the Regen spell in Final Fantasy - and in fact I think this is one of the only places in the entire Megaten franchise you ever see something like this.

: Heartfelt Prayer also unlocks the multi-target buff spells. These are AMAZING. Not only do you have a full-party permanent buff in one go, you also can use this to farm mutations.

: This is the only flashback scene I will be showing, as it is new and adds on to the ending of Persona 1.

: Elly!

: I’m amazed they mention Ayase or Mark here, given that both of them basically got deleted from the timeline.

: By the way, this scene is different if you have Elly with you.

: That’s right, she’s going to England with Jihei, who is going to marry her because she is the best girl and the objectively correct choice.

: Oh fuck! It’s Jihei with a high-def portrait!

: You know what Satomi Tadashi could’ve done that would’ve sucked a lot less? A thing where you get to play as an adult Jihei and somehow unfuck Innocent Sin’s timeline.

: “Until now, I don’t think I truly understood what it means to be number one… the path that I will take will not be easy. Even if I know it in theory, my emotions… the time I’ve spent with you didn’t allow…”

: “And so, I may have subconsciously wanted to escape… from myself, Kei Nanjo… but, now it’s different. I will do what I think is right. As Kei Nanjo…”

: This is the kind of thing I’m okay with, even if it does kinda re-tread Nanjo’s plotline from Persona 1 a bit. They really, really need to do a complete re-make of Persona 1 someday, with someone competent at the helm.

: Optional dialogue time.

: “Promises huh… stupid stuff I didn’t need to see…”

: “Best friends are really great… it’s always better to have one true friend than ten ‘fake’ ones…”

: “Friendship that knows no boundaries… it was good to have seen it.”

: Not far from where we leave the first cutscene room is a side room with the Ancient Sun in it. Unlike Innocent Sin, we don’t get the ultimate Personas handed to us at the end - we have to fuse them with material cards.

New Persona: Hyperion

Origin: Ancient Greece

Eternal Punishment Original

One of the twelve Titans born from Gaea and Uranus. Father of Helios, Selene, and Eos - representing the Sun, Moon, and Dawn, respectively.

: Hyperion is Katsuya’s ultimate Persona. His final move, which you can’t see in the shot, is “Justice Shot”, which has a 48% chance to reduce an enemy’s HP to 1.

: While he’s not terrible, Hyperion also isn’t that great. His SP costs are still sky-high and he doesn’t offer much besides Maragidyne and an all-target Nuke spell with Heat Kaiser.

: More new enemies. With a fully-buffed party, we can kill them in a single hit.

: I get a demon rumor about Super Megido - this is the last upgraded spell rumor- and it’s pointless because Succubus is level 47. By the time we leave, we’ll be able to summon up to level 66.

: This scene is a flashback to the end of Seven Sisters in Innocent Sin.

: “While we were looking for the principal who was said to be connected to the Joker… Maya appeared before us. We decided to go after Joker together…”

: “What are you talking about? Amano went to the school to investigate the ‘Joker Curse Murders’. The principal’s murder was what actually happened in his office…”

: A reality where Hanya got to live for an additional ten minutes or so before we killed him off.

: “A different… reality!?”

: “I’m from that reality… that’s why I’m not the Tatsuya you know…! I’m just using my body from This Side… within is the me from the Other Side…!!”

: There’s some optional dialogue, but it’s the party basically going “Wait, what the shit?” so I’ll skip it.

: The Bronze Ring is a material card for Baofu’s ultimate Persona, the one he shares with Futaba.

Returning Persona: Prometheus

Origin: Ancient Greece

First Appearance: Devil Summoner

Titan whose name means “forethought”. Creator of humanity in Greek myth. Lacking gifts to give them, he gave humanity fire and the means to trick the gods, for which he was tied to a rock and had his liver eaten by an eagle. Freed by Hercules as part of his Twelve Labors.

: This is the only shot from the wiki I’m going to post, because it’s the least inaccurately translated. Prometheus has some very good moves (Zandyne, Makakaja, Thunder Baptism) and a kinda meh signature move. It makes more sense if you build Baofu as a physical character.

: As you can see, the ultimate Personas have a modified version of Grand Cross, the fusion spell between Innocent Sin’s ultimate Personas that I never used. The one thing Eternal Punishment does correctly is make it slightly less annoying to rank grind, so I might actually bother to get it this time around.

: The only non material card item in Mt. Iwato is this SP incense, which I really have no reason to use. Maya already has 750-someodd SP, and is the least likely of anyone to run out.

: From there, we reach B2F. B2F is the most annoying part of this dungeon. This floor has five holes on it, and you have to fall into each one to complete the map.

: The room below is entirely damage floors - mostly poison ones, though there’s a few SP ones and HP ones you have to step on and over to complete the map.

: Another flashback, this time to the Aerospace Museum in Innocent Sin.

: “They collected people’s hopes and dreams as energy… planning to fulfill the Oracle of Maia, the fall of humanity…”

: I feel like Satomi Tadashi is puffing up his plot a little too much, especially given that the Masked Circle thing was basically tossed out the window the second Sudou died.

: “So then… what? Are you saying that Amano’s visions are all memories of a different reality…?”

: “Are you saying that Amano and Tatsuya Sudou came from the same reality as you!?”

: This part of the story is… you can tell that Satomi Tadashi had one plot point in mind, and then realized it wasn’t gonna work. The original plot point was basically “If anyone but Tatsuya remembers Innocent Sin, everyone dies.” and that’s why Sudou couldn’t just be brain uploaded the way Tatsuya was.

: By the end of this dungeon, Satomi Tadashi is going to pivot hard on that.

: “So, what do you mean!? It’s not like Ma-ya came from that world either, right? Why does Ma-ya only have the memory of this ‘Other Side’? None of us have it!”

: “There are many reasons… I don’t think you should know any more…”

: Here’s a question I’d like to posit to you. Has there ever, in the history of the written word, been a work where a character is asked a question, answers with “There are many reasons…” and the end result is good writing?

: “Idiot…! As if we could back out after all this!”

: “If you continue, something bad may happen!” is pretty much the motif behind every game I have ever done an LP of.

: There’s some optional dialogue, and then something that I somehow did not realize in Innocent Sin that… god damn, how did I not realize that?

: “The Joker was in another world as well… what exactly happened on the other side?”

: “Him? Who could he be talking about…?”

: Actually, no, I’m not. Maki was different in that she never ended the world, and also never cosplayed as Hitler. That’d be Aki’s job. She’d be Hitler Junior and make Kandori dress as Hitler.

: On the way to the next cutscene room, we find the Silver Bow, which is for Maya.

Returning Persona: Artemis

Origin: Ancient Greece

First Appearance: Kyuuyaku Megami Tensei

Goddess of the hunt, fertility, childbirth, and the moon. Also probably the patron saint of lesbians. Yes, I know that’s not how patron saints work, shut up.

: I need you to appreciate Artemis’s SMT NINE design, which has knee titties. Knee titties!

: It’s like someone saw bikini armor and went “What if we just made the armor out of breasts”? It’s brilliant, that’s what it is. Compare this to her much more boring design in this game, and SMT V where she becomes a magical girl.

: You can’t beat the tit armor. You just can’t. It’s not possible. You might ask where they got that from - there was apparently an area of Greece where that was just part of the mythology.

: I want a comic where Artemis offers Katsuya and Baofu some boob armor like that and Baofu is torn between “This looks dumb as shit” and “But wait, those stats…”

: Artemis is by far the best of the ultimate Personas, despite her weakness to physical damage. Crescent Mirror is… I think it’s the highest damage Almighty spell in the game, second only to Megidolaon.

: And finally, an Ortyx, which is for Ulala.

New Persona: Asteria

Origin: Ancient Greece

Eternal Punishment Original

Titan who represents the stars and astrology. Turned into a quail and formed the island of Delos after flinging herself into the sea to avoid Zeus.

: Asteria is… okay. Her signature move is this game’s equivalent of Panta Rhei. Her obvious weak point is being totally Wind-based.

: And now for something I cannot believe I didn’t realize in Innocent Sin - though admittedly, that’s because they try VERY hard to keep you from seeing it.

: This is a flashback to the cutscene at the end of Caracol. Tatsuya did not have any lines in Innocent Sin’s version of this cutscene, but in this one…

: I’d like to point out that this is the same scene where you see Maya read the Doppelganger poem, and you think “Oh, it’s because Jun is like Tatsuya’s shadow, not in the Jung sense but in the boyfriend sense” and then you realize IT’S BECAUSE HIS PORTRAIT IS A RE-DRAW OF TATSUYA’S.

: It is absolutely canon to this LP that neither Tatsuya nor Jun has noticed this, even years into their marriage, no matter how hard people try to get them to understand.

: “No… it wasn’t only Jun… Eikichi… Lisa… Big Sis Maya… and me… all of us… we were all friends ‘playing Masked Circle’… separated by Sudou’s arson ten years ago…”

: “Big Sis Maya taught us the importance of dreams. Forever, the five of us all together… we all believed that… but, Maya had to leave town for family reasons… we couldn’t bear that, so we locked her in the shrine…”

: “And then Sudou set it aflame. We thought Maya had died, so we were scared. And each of us suppressed the memory… Jun remembered that and became a Joker. Controlled by ‘him’, he tried to end the world in exchange for the ideal evolution.”

: That makes it sound like Innocent Sin was some kind of Dragon Ball ripoff.

: Narrator: “It was at that moment that Ulala realized she was in a rehash plot.”

: “Who is that ‘him’ that controlled Jun?”

: If they had planned this better, this could have been amazing. Imagine if IS and EP were one game, and you didn’t yet know the big reveal from Innocent Sin… or even that Innocent Sin took place in another timeline.

: Imagine if they had tried to disguise it - have the Eternal Punishment party only visit places you didn’t visit in Innocent Sin, and then this is the point where you’d realize that you were actually going between two timelines rather than just different parts of the same city.

: “He wants to bring the same chaos to This Side as the Other Side. The New World Order is just one of his pawns.”

: “Hey, what do you mean by… causing the same thing to happen?”

: Optional dialogue.

: “The being that stands opposite to Philemon…? The archetype of existential destruction? If such a thing does exist, it is well beyond our comprehension… the shadow of mankind…”

: From here, we go through the other side of B3F to get to the exit.

: This is the final cutscene room, which is a flashback to Maya’s death scene at the end of Innocent Sin. I’m actually going to do this one in full. Why? In this game’s version of Maya’s death scene, she has no lines, and Tatsuya has them instead. What I’m going to do is combine both versions. Let’s go back to the end of Innocent Sin - thankfully, I saved all the screenshots.

: To make things easier to understand, I’ll use the old portraits from the Innocent Sin LP for the Innocent Sin lines, and Tatsuya’s EP portrait for his lines in EP.

: “Ha… you were right that these humans may make for good test cases…”

: “What is he saying…? Philemon!?”

: “We are the sources of people’s souls… incarnations of the collective unconsciousness. Indivisible from one another… we have watched man’s strivings for eons… I lead those with strong hearts, and the Crawling Chaos drags the weak into the abyss.”

: “All of this is to ascertain if man’s souls, riddled with contradictions as they are, can evolve into something whole. You all showed that potential. If there were more like you, man could someday reach a perfect state that understood its purpose.”

: “This… this was all a plot by you two?”

: “Everything… this is all part of your experiment!?”

: “It’d be more accurate to just say ‘you’. The best HE can do is watch. But me… I’m different.”

: “Big Sis Maya!!”

: “I’m trying! But… but… the bleeding won’t stop! Why… why aren’t my spells working!? Philemon!”

: “Nyarlathotep… this was your reason for creating the Spear of Destiny…”

: “They say that when Jesus Christ’s corpse was pierced with that spear, blood continued to spill endlessly… you humans have passed that legend down for 2,000 years. It’s one hell of a strong rumor. A fatal wound would take effect immediately.”

: Is it being stabbed with a spear?

: " ‘Hurry up and forget about me?’… Don’t be ridiculous!! How could I ever forget…!!?"

: I should mention that these last three lines don’t exist in Eternal Punishment’s version of this scene.

: “Yeah… I’ll grab it… you taught me… I’ll grab hold of my dream… so…”

: The rest of the scene is exactly the same as Innocent Sin’s - it does two more lines from Nyarlathotep that are word for word identical and then cuts back to the EP cast.

: “What happened… after that…?”

: I, uh… did Satomi Tadashi forget how the ending went? Maya Okamura didn’t need to die because Maya was already dead. You can even see her standing next to Nyarlathotep in Innocent Sin’s version of the cutscene.

: “In the world of the Collective Unconsciousness, where we fought him, strong beliefs became reality… by resetting our meeting ten years ago, we created another reality in exchange for the truths and memories until then…”

: “So that’s this reality…”

: “Maya told us to forget everything about her… to accept everything and move on… but… we couldn’t stand it. That’s why we made this reality, to trade for our memories, and we escaped here… hanging on to a faint hope… to remember.”

: “A hope like that couldn’t happen… my friends that meshed in This Side forgot about the Other Side, and each other… but… I…”

: “So that’s why Amano and that Jun kid don’t remember about the Other Side…”

: “But, that could change… ‘he’ said that I was ‘the Paradox’… this reality exists on the concept of resetting the memories of us five…”

: Goalposts moved.

: “I don’t want Maya to be involved anymore. I’m sure you understand now… please stay out of this.”

: “What were we talking about, Serizawa?”

: “I don’t know… shouldn’t the adults be the ones fooling the kids?”

: “No… it’s about adults taking responsibility for children’s actions…”

: Maya slaps Tatsuya twice.

: “I’m sorry… I understand… please don’t get mad…”

: “What are you going to do…?”

: “I’m going to walk a path that I beleive in. I’ll do all I can to end the chaos in thecity…”

: Next time… the part I’ve been dreading. We have to go back to Xibalba. Worse, I’m going to need to map it. We also have some grinding to do.

: Here’s our first Fool card. We need four of these for the reward from that shrine at the start of the game… and an accompanying piece by Salty Vanilla.

: Salam also gives us a Mediarahan card, which we can exploit the fuck out of by putting it on a Persona with very low SP costs - like a Pixie. Mediarahan always heals for full HP, regardless of the Persona’s stats, so you can cheese heals with this.

[Timrod]

Summary

: Before we continue on to Ameno Xibalbafune, there’s an item we can get that will make mapping it suck a lot less. There is absolutely no indication whatsoever in the game itself that you can even do this, or how you’d even do it - it’s obvious it was made to sell strategy guides.

: In W-Slash/Double Slash, there’s a girl who will tell you which Wang Long dragon you are based on your birth month. I don’t know if you can use this to solve the puzzle in Aoba Park or not.

: Naturally, the solution is not to give her a month at all, but instead to spout Lovecraft-inspired gibberish. The password is different depending on what version you’re playing. In the original Japanese release, the password is “IA IA HASTUR” in Hiragana. Unfortunately, I did try it and it doesn’t work in the translation hack.

: In the US PS1 release, the password was changed to “HASTURCOMEFORTH”. The patch accepts either one, so long as it’s in English.

: We get no clue as to what the password does.

: If we go back to Kismet Publishing and check Maya’s desk, there’s a box that wasn’t there before.

: Unlike Persona 5 where he had his own signature skill, Hastur is kinda trash in Eternal Punishment. Yeah, he repels all magic types… except all of his skills are a single element and most demons are heavily resistant to Dark damage.

: I threw a Grydyne card on him because I figure if we’re going to have him around anyway, we might as well get some use out of him. With a Dx Card, he’s at 75 dexterity, which really isn’t bad.

: You might think this is the item we were looking for, but no. There’s a second layer to this.

: If you equip Hastur to someone (everyone has at least Good compatibility with him, except Baofu who has Great), it unlocks a secret rare demon fight in Area 4 of the Bomb Shelter. Again, this only happens if he is EQUIPPED, not just in your party’s stock.

: The first time you run into this encounter, you get an automatic Persona Chat.

: THAT’S what we’re here for. Golden Honey is a re-usable item that prevents all random encounters, regardless of what level they are. It’s effectively an upgraded Estoma. It took me maybe 10 minutes to get, and will probably save us triple that mapping out Ameno Xibalbafune.

: Now, I was fully intending on going to Xibalbafune… except that I found out there’s a rumor we can spread that allows us more dialog with the Persona 1 cast… among other things. That’s why this turned into side content.

: If we go to the Jolly Roger, there’s a rumor we can spread about affinity readings - this is what I thought the ones we did earlier were. There’s a chart for how these work here.

: Let me explain what this does. You can get affinity with a number of people, many of whom only give bonuses on a second playthrough or in the EX Dungeon.

: As the guide above mentions, you get asked six questions, with each combination leading to a specific character. Naturally, I did every character of importance, starting with the most important.

Innocent Sin Cast

Jun

: Tatsuya immediately confiscates the genie’s crystal ball and turns it into his secret boyfriend communication device.

Lisa

: In the back room of the genie’s office, Jun glares at Lisa. “No, we’re not doing this again, he’s my boyfriend.”

Eikichi

: I think a lot of this was left over from the PS1 version, because it sounds kinda stilted.

Ixquic

: Ixgri is probably another Mayan god, but I don’t feel like looking it up. I wish Ixquic had been a party member.

Persona 1 Cast

Yukino

: I wish Yukino had been in this game, because a Yukino-Baofu contact would probably have been the best contact in the game.

Nanjo

: Having affinity with a party member boosts the damage of any fusion spells they participate in. It doesn’t do anything with Nanjo unless you’re doing the EX Dungeon.

Elly

: Elly is still infatuated with Jihei, and it is canon to the Persona 1 LP that he marries her.

Reiji

: You know, I bet this would’ve worked if he had tried this on Lisa in Innocent Sin. “Legendary gloves? Nah, you need this set of legendary steak knives. They cut through demons like butter.”

Maki

: Weirdly, being friends with Maki doesn’t get you a discount at Hiiragi Psychotherapy - you have to have affinity with the owner for that.

Brown

: There is, in fact, no bonus to luck for having affinity with Brown.

Toro

Tamaki

: Remember when Satomi Tadashi was merely horny for idols, and didn’t have a shitload of bad opinions? Those were better times.

Takami Saeko

Eternal Punishment Cast:

Baofu

Katsuya

Ulala

Tatsuya

: Tatsuya is one of the easiest people to get affinity with (you get it by answering “Yes” to everything) and also the most useful if you played Innocent Sin, since I think the damage bonus to fusion spells is percentage based and Tatsuya has the highest Dexterity next to Maya.

Misc NPCs

Sudou

: If anyone ever invites me to a charity stream, my stretch goal will be doing a Tatsuya Sudou cosplay and lighting a copy of Persona 5 on fire.

: From what I’ve read, having affinity with Sudou (or any of the other bosses, which include Kandori, Chizuru, Capitain Shimazu and Ginji Sasaki) makes you do more damage in their fight if you have it and go to a second playthrough.

Igor

The Count

: The Count is another good evil fourth-dimensional alien hell-bent on humanity’s destruction in disguise to have affinity with, because it gives you a 20% discount at Time Castle.

Sumaru Genie

: And that’s it. There’s a few other ones - you can get affinity with most of the store owners and with Kandori or Chizuru, and if anyone wants to see those I’ll do them, but I thought these were the best ones.

: Next time, Ameno Xibalbafune.

[Timrod]

: This is gonna suck. What we’re going to do is duck into the subway very briefly, and then leave. Doing this opens up a bunch of stuff you otherwise wouldn’t have access to until after Xibalba 2.0.

: Wait, isn’t this just the thing from the end of Resident Evil 2, where you take a train in the sewer to the secret Umbrella lab?

: “Hmph, who’re they kidding… they set this thing up and tried to make a rumor come true, they must be insane…”

: “Um… Amano, are you sure you can drive? Perhaps I should, instead?”

: Oh god, what. They’re letting Maya drive the…

: “Hey, Tatsuya, I found some drinks. Want one?”

: Baofu and Tatsuya are probably both screaming on the inside.

: “…”

: We all know what he’s really trying to say - it’s because he didn’t defeat his shadow in a mobile game that never saw the light of day outside of Japan. No, really.

: “Don’t have to say what you don’t want to… besides… what I want to know is what are WE like on the ‘Other Side’? We were there, right?”

: “My brother is pretty much the same… Ulala got scammed by a con artist… I only know you spread rumors on the net…”

: “So the ‘Other Side’ is not that different…”

: “… Is it hard… being an adult?”

: “Huh?”

: “No… never mind… forget about it…”

: “What about you…?”

: “…”

: “It’s the same… there’s nothing good. The pain just keeps growing…”

: “Hmm…? Amano, it’s a dead end… please stop.”

: And now, we’re going to turn around and head back - specifically to the Bomb Shelter, because there’s a sidequest we very much want to pick up… even if it sucks.

: This dipshit was the one who tricked the party into going into the Bomb Shelter in Innocent Sin. In this game, he just tells us about Kudan.

: Before we continue, it is VERY, VERY IMPORTANT that if you are playing along, you immediately fuse new Personas for everyone - preferably physical ones.

New Persona: Ouroborous

Origin: Unknown

First Appearance: Devil Summoner

Symbol of a serpent or dragon eating its own tail, symbolizing a cycle. Can apparently ensure complete global saturation.

: The skills on the wiki are outright wrong. Let’s look at the real ones.

: Ouroborous learns Skewer at Rank 2, which does shitloads of physical damage. It can also learns Hieroglyphein, which does damage equal to its Rank times its Level. I put it on Baofu.

New Persona: Mahakala

Origin: Tibet

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei I

One of a group of eight gods known as the “Dharmapala” in Tibetan Buddhism, representing wrath and destruction. Spouse of Kali. Co-opted into Japanese Buddhism as Daikokuten, one of the Seven Lucky Gods, and into Hinduism as Shiva.

: I’m gonna be real here, Mahakala sucks ass. The only reason I’m even considering him is because he’s physical and can mutate into Quetzalcoatl - who we used for the entire endgame of Innocent Sin and wound up maxing stats for.

: Mahakala went to Katsuya, and then my plan was to use Apollo on Tatsuya (since I was going to fuse something else for him anyway) and Armaiti on Ulala. This was a bad idea, because Armaiti has our only out of combat heal.

: Kudan spawns in Area 6 of the Bomb Shelter, so let’s grab the letter and map while we’re here.

: Well, that’s not great. This is Odin, who is one of the rare demons that can spawn in this area. I was completely unprepared to fight him.

: You see, Odin has Mudoon. He’s another one of those “Nulls magic but weak to physical” Personas, and uh… yeah, this isn’t great.

: I’m gonna be real here, if this was on Normal I’d have had my ass kicked. My plan was to use Nodens and Armaiti to do God Hand, which does Almighty damage and SHOULD penetrate his defenses… except it doesn’t. He nulls Almighty.

: I manage to recover using the 99 Beads and 50-someodd Balms of Life I have sitting around, and Tatsuya gets off enough Gigantic Fists for the kill.

: This gets us Odin’s material card. I’m going to wind up fusing him before we go into the subway.

: Odin is a pretty good Persona, and has Great affinity with Baofu. I’m going to toss him on Baofu to replace Hastur. He also has one of the shittiest fusion spells in the game.

: I save immediately, and then try to rank up Ouroborous and Mahakala… forgetting that I left Nodens on Maya. This was a mistake.

: Meet Kudan. A Kudan is a monster from Japanese myth that is a cow with the head of a human that is born, gives a prophecy that usually involves shit going down, and then dies.

: On its first turn, Kudan does the absolute worst thing it can do. Prophecy is a spell that hits your ENTIRE PARTY and REDUCES THEIR PERSONA’S RANK TO 1.

: Most guides recommend savestating around this, and I reloaded my game to try it again… only to have it do a turn 1 Prophecy the second time as well.

: At least Prophecy auto-kills it. The reward is still worth it.

: This gives us three of the best accessories in the game.

: First up is the Synchronize Gear, which halves the amount of times you have to use a Persona for it to rank up. This lets us get Nodens back up much faster.

: Second is the Mutation Gear, which gives a huge boost to the chance of getting a mutation. In theory, we could use this to cheese a boss fight coming up… if I had overgrinded like hell.

: Third is the Adjustment Gear, which CUTS SP USE IN HALF. I would give this to Baofu for Odin, but he’s still got the Agility Source on.

: Back at the subway tunnel, there’s some optional dialogue before we go in. I won’t be showing much of the tunnel anyway, apart from one demon rumor.

: “Adults, huh…? What are adults, anyway?”

: “Time is cruel… it just keeps moving on and on, and before you know it, we all just look like adults. Gotta do this, gotta do that. Sooner or later it all gets left behind somewhere… all the pain and dreams when you were a kid.”

: “As a child I believed adults had strong beliefs and could rule themselves. I wanted to be an adult like that… but, as you age, you start to see many things… there are times when you become confused.”

: The subway tunnel doesn’t have much of interest inside. It has an Agility card, the only Estoma card in the game, and a weapon material you can get through a demon rumor.

: The only real “puzzle” is this bridge, which… why does this exist? This is underground!

: The switch is located a few steps away.

: We get a rumor for the “Legendary Blacksmith” sidequest, which we need to do I think to get the legendary weapons.

: The rumor spawns this kid behind the Alaya Shrine, who opens a Mansearch thing for the blacksmith.

: This is the rumor we’re looking for.

: It opens this bridge that leads to a weapon material. Again, why the hell do they have drawbridges underground? What is this, Dwarf Fortress?

: There’s a few new enemies here that were also in Area 6 of the Bomb Shelter, including Pucel - an annoying piece of shit that spams Myriad Arrows - and Ares, who I believe has a full-party instadeath spell.

: There’s something I should point out, by the way: the Item Breeder we found earlier can be used to duplicate weapon materials. That’s probably what you’re going to want it for.

: As soon as I had the Rainbow Piece, I turned on the Golden Honey (see the last side update if you haven’t) and booked it. This dungeon is a lot less annoying with no encounters.

: “All we need to do now is release Joka to cleanse the Kegare of the world by the hands of the 12 Dragons!!”

: It’s kind of hard to see, but the Tenchu soldiers are doing the one-armed Nazi salute.

: “Various religions! Tribes! Desires! Values! Was human history laden with these, a history of ‘Sin’!!? The masses, blessed with materials, lost their ideals. They don’t examine themselves or even try to atone for their sins!”

: “We must provide a dream of reconstructing a new future and cleanse the rotting world! This is the ‘Punishment’!! And the Chosen Ones will know!! The future of salvation stands before us!”

: “Sugawara…”

: “Yessir…”

: “I leave the Torifune to you. We will ascend to Utena with Gozen. Prepare the Petit Deva…”

: I know deva is a buddhist term, so my guess is that utena is as well - but I have no way of finding out because searching it just gives me thousands of results of people talking about Revolutionary Girl Utena.

: “Yessir… it shall be done.”

: “Do not worry about your frailty, my friend. Gozen is very happy with your work. Your wish for immortality will be granted.”

: “Ah…! My loyalty has finally been rewarded…”

: “Well, considering it can fly with a city on top of it, it better be…”

: “This is rumored to be a ship of a god or aliens, right…? Don’t you think that they would’ve set traps or something?”

: “This ship, called ‘Xibalba’ on the ‘Other Side’, makes bad thoughts real… you shouldn’t think of anything bad.”

: “How do you know…?”

: “People’s fear… insecurity… hopes… it borrows the form of rumors, it is the incarnation of the unconscious world… I think that’s why Philemon said thoughts would become reality in the unconscious world…”

: “Then all we gotta do is think pleasant thoughts… piece of cake…”

: “No… this is his domain… don’t think anything.”

: Don’t think anything, like how they completely recycled Xibalba. The difference, however, is that Ameno Torifune is MUCH, MUCH larger than Xibalba was. Here’s the map for Ameno Torifune, compared to the map for Xibalba.

: “Yow! Hot…! What’s going on!? Serizawa! You thought of something bad, didn’t you!?”

: “I’m sorry. It was something that happened previously… so… I inadvertently…”

: This is something Satomi Tadashi is going to go back on in a couple of minutes, when Tatsuya will outright say the whole “dungeon made of thoughts” thing is bullshit and it’s just Nyarlathotep fucking with them.

: It’s funny that the Innocent Sin cast solved this room in less than half the dialog boxes. Clearly, our party are not highly trained anime teenagers.

: “It’s no use talking about what we thought! So what happened on the ‘Other Side’, Tatsuya!?”

: “…I ran.”

: “A cool head will stave off the heat! …Is what Maya said.”

: I apologize for the blurriness here, but this is kinda what happens when you set a PSP to TV output mode. There’s a reason only the Go can do it, and why the Vita never could.

: Ulala falls flat on her face. I have to question how these are the same people we saw doing shit like covering each other in Kandori’s lab or killing all those guys on the Nichirinmaru.

: Welcome to Torifune, where every room is needlessly fucking huge. The first thing you want to do here is pop your Golden Honey and keep popping it when it runs out.

: That’s the one annoying thing about Golden Honey, by the way. It works like Estoma, where you use it and it lasts for a certain number of steps, rather than being a toggle.

: As for enemies, it’s mostly the ones from the subway tunnel… plus Pascal the Dog and Dominion. They’re generally less annoying than a lot of the enemies Xibalba had, but my plan is to grind a bit after we get to the first boss.

: The reason for this is that there’s a demon rumor I want to get, but the only demon you can get it from doesn’t show up consistently until after the first boss.

: B1F takes a few minutes to map even with no encounters, because it’s just that fucking huge. It’s still MUCH, MUCH faster than it would be with encounters on.

: B2F is a floor I absolutely do not recommend mapping without Golden Honey and/or a Pixie with Mediarahan on it (or a stack of Beads, which we have). The reason?

: B2F has unavoidable damage floors, which do a ton of damage. Just going over these two reduced the party from full health to under half, even for Maya and Tatsuya with their high magic defense. The damage floors are also not safe from random encounters.

: There’s a chest in one corner that poisons everyone, which I opened by accident. You know, just in case this floor wasn’t annoying enough.

: Oh, and a monster chest I had a very close call with. This one is pointless if you’ve done all the mapping quests, because all it gives you is a Dekaja card. It’s worth doing if you don’t have one.

: The best strategy for B2F is to have the golden honey on, and then simply walk over all the damage floors and reduce the party to 1 HP, as damage floors can’t kill you. Once you’re done, simply heal up with a Bead (or a Pixie with Mediarahan) and continue on.

: B3F is the world’s simplest teleporter maze. You can go directly south to go to the cutscene room, or south-east to go to a second teleporter that brings you to an item, then to the cutscene room.

: Here, we encounter one of the new gimmicks that Xibalba didn’t have: one-way walls. These really don’t matter much unless you’re doing the mapping sidequest, and even then aren’t really that annoying as long as you have the golden honey. If I didn’t, they’d probably be fucking infuriating.

: “Is this the work of that ‘Nyar-something’? …Isn’t it weird!? Why does he kill his own men…!”

: “It’s proof that the New World Order isn’t aware of the secret of the Torifune… ‘He’ thinks of humans as mere pawns… they probably don’t even know of ‘his’ existence. This ship… him… neither one is anything a human should mess with…”

: There’s some optional dialog in here as well.

: “Grandma said if I wanted to help people, I had to do it without thinking of the consequences… now I finally understand!”

: “Our hearts are created by multiple layers… normally, our ego is viewed as the ‘self’, with our unconsciousness lying beneath. Below this, each society has one culture, family, etc… the ‘collective unconsciousness’. These abysses spread out infinitely…”

: “Think of the normal unconscious as a sea of unconsciousness all humans share… the tiny island floating in that sea… that’s ‘ego’. If it is the people’s rumors that created this ship, then you can call this Sumaru City’s ‘unconsciousness’.”

: Oh look, Satomi Tadashi conveniently wrote Mementos a full sixteen years before the release of Persona 5. I’m surprised Hashino had the restraint to not make Mementos a literal sea where Morgana turns into a boat.

: B4F is another small one-way wall maze. It’s not really much of a maze, as you can see.

: B5F is the developers just kinda phoning it in. It’s a very big room with nothing in it - there’s a couple of chests with incenses and a teleporter that sends you to a small room in B4F you can’t otherwise access for mapping purposes, but that’s pretty much it.

: Baofu fights the urge to invoke standard police procedure for saying the forbidden phrase, as established by Kusabi.

: “It HAS been a while since we’ve been underground. If there was a Velvet Room, we could rest there…”

: If you’ve read the Innocent Sin LP, you’ll remember this exact room from about this point in Xibalba.

: “Really…!?”

: “It’s awfully suspicious… that Nyarlathotep guy decides whether or not to make our thoughts a reality, right? Why does he give things so conveniently?”

: Uh, he didn’t. At least, not the first time. The first time, both doors were traps and Tatsuya had to save the party.

: “I don’t know what he’s up to, but if I can use it, then I will…”

: This is another cutscene I don’t like. It would’ve been way better if this time around, the party assumes both doors are traps. Maybe Baofu and Katsuya open them without going inside to see what happens.

: Instead, the party fucks off so that Tatsuya can have a scene with Maya.

: “This is… the burden of sin… you don’t have to worry about me…”

: This is a scene I knew about ahead of time, and I was going to have Salty Vanilla do a version of the infamous “You fake hedgehog!” scene from Sonic Adventure 2, except with Jun as Sonic and Metal Jun as Shadow.

: Not a fan of this. I liked how Innocent Sin did it, where it didn’t translate the Cantonese words because it really didn’t need to, and it gave you the same experience that the rest of the cast (none of whom speak Chinese) would have.

: Hell, this would have been a fucking perfect scene for Baofu to be in, given that he speaks Chinese and all.

: Tatsuya rushes forward and tries to decapitate the fake Jun. No one impersonates his boyfriend and gets away with it. The sword audibly bounces off, which is a hint for the upcoming boss fight.

: “Damn!”

: Instead, they all disappear and take Tatsuya with them.

: “What did you say…!?”

: “Ch…! We fell for it… come on! We gotta find him!”

: Optional dialogue time.

: Just past the cutscene room is an elevator. It gives you the option of going to B7F or B8F, but Tatsuya is on B6F and I want to get him back before we do anything else.

: B6F has two material cards we can’t use because we don’t have Tatsuya around - one is the Urdarbrunner, a material card for making Skuld. I don’t believe I’ve logged her in any of the other games (though we did log Verdandi, who was Maki’s ultimate Persona) so let’s do that.

New Persona: Skuld

Origin: Norse Myth

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei I (Sega CD)

One of the Norns from Norse myth, along with Verdandi and Urd. Probably the best girl in Ah! My Goddess. Name means “what shall be”, which is appropriate given her position of deciding the future.

: This is how bad the original translation was. “Heiros Glupaine” is Hieroglyphein. Skuld isn’t great as a battle Persona (though Makarakarn would be REALLY useful in the upcoming boss fight), but is a really good choice if you want to grind the casino due to that high luck stat.

: B6F is the first floor where Manannan can spawn. He has a demon rumor that will allow Ildanach to mutate, but we can’t contact him because only Tatsuya was above level 55.

: Also spawning here is our old friend Girimekhala. Let’s introduce him to God Hand, which we have again now that Nodens is Rank 8.

: Yep. If I had bothered to get an affinity reading for Baofu, those numbers probably would’ve been in the mid-1200s.

: Phoenix has an annoying instakill attack. Fafnir (in the back) just kinda exists, unlike in Persona 1. You might ask why I didn’t have the Golden Honey on, and that’s because I forgot we were too low-level to negotiate with Mannanan.

: Near the boss room is the Crimson Wing, which is the material card for Suzaku. This time around, the four directional beasts have a much better fusion spell that is basically designed to cheese the next boss fight… except we can’t use it. Suzaku is level 63, meaning we can’t fuse him without Tatsuya.

: We do, however, want to fuse Suzaku because he can be returned for a Legenbright, which is a material used for the legendary weapons.

: It’s time for another RNG-ridden shitfest of a boss fight. My first instinct was to equip Hastur, and it was absolutely right.

: The first two lines are exactly what Eikichi and Lisa say right at the end of Innocent Sin, in the final cutscene. Jun’s line has been altered.

: Another thing I considered having Salty Vanilla draw was Tatsuya asking Jun if he actually has a sword, and then Jun turns his bouquet of irises over and guns and swords start falling out.

: A gunshot rings out.

: “Ch… physical attacks don’t even scratch 'em!”

: This fight… kinda sucks. Remember in Innocent Sin, when we fought the party’s Shadows? That’s exactly what this is, except we’re fighting three of them at once. Now, here’s why this fight sucks.

: Eikichi has Mamudo. As far as I can tell, Mamudo will always hit unless it is nulled or reflected.

: By the way, this fight also plays a remix of the Innocent Sin boss theme.

: Case in point - Ulala and Baofu are the only two who null Dark at this point. There’s very little we could have done to prevent this, because despite being the absolute slowest person in Innocent Sin, Eikichi manages to out-speed the entire party.

: Theoretically, I could’ve still won this with Baofu and Ulala… except the boss has some other bullshit that we’ll see on the second attempt, including a move that would almost certainly wipe the party if I revived Maya. Let’s reload.

: On the second go, Eikichi’s turn comes up after Baofu, Ulala, and Tatsuya. I have Tatsuya use anti-instakill protection, and Baofu and Ulala buff the party.

: Lisa opens by buffing, which is one of the least effective things she can do with her turns. Apollo has Dekaja, but I don’t bother wasting turns debuffing.

: Katsuya hits Eikichi for almost 700 damage out of the 2200 or so HP he has.

: By the end of our first turn, Eikichi is down over half of his HP. The guide written by the translator claims that you should focus Lisa first, but in this case it doesn’t matter. Why? Because I put Hastur on Maya, and Hastur reflects everything.

: By our next turn, I have Heavy Rain and Blazing Burst set up. Unfortunately, something gets lost in translation and both wind up getting used on Lisa instead of Eikichi, when I only intended Heavy Rain to be on her.

: 950 damage. Granted, we’re still on easy mode, but that’s not bad at all.

: Blazing Burst hits for another 900, and Lisa is nearly dead.

: This is where the fight turns bullshit. Eikichi has a move called Bloody Divorce, which is an “inverse version” of his ultimate Persona’s signature spell, Bloody Honeymoon. Bloody Divorce is a Water-based skill that has a 30% chance of instakilling on hit.

: Tatsuya is weak to it, but Tatsuya is also a tank.

: This is where shit goes down a bit. Lisa uses a full-party charm spell. She can hit both Katsuya and Ulala, but only hits Katsuya, who dies to reflects. This causes him to lose his buffs.

: Jun uses a few turns to heal Eikichi, but we get him down. Unfortunately, we lose Tatsuya in the process.

: This is why this fight is bullshit. Tetraja only protects against dark/light based instakills, not against Bloody Divorce. The only real saving grace is that Apollo is immune to Charm, because if Tatsuya was to be hit by it, there’s a good chance that’d be a party wipe.

: Jun uses his signature move, Terror Fortune. It hits everyone in the party and charms on hit.

: At this point, I’m not too worried about losing Ulala because we can nuke Jun down. Fortunately, Ulala shakes off the charm immediately.

: I think what I really hate about this fight is how many ways it can go wrong.

: “I’m sorry…”

: “Don’t say anything. My little brother doesn’t lower his head for little things like this…”

: " No… The me of 'This Side", also feels the same way."

: “I see…”

: This update’s gone on pretty long, so we’ll do B7F and then end it.

: I immediately grab the rumor from Manannan about Ildanach - we can now mutate him into Lugh, who… honestly kinda sucks.

: B7F is another damage floor shitshow.

: “It’s called… ‘Petit Deva’. It’s written here.”

: We’ll do just that. The next boss requires a shitload of damage output. We could probably do it, but I want to do some farming first to see if I can get a legendary weapon.

: Next time, we’ll do the final floors of Ameno Xibalbafune. This will unlock Tatsuya’s Scenario, Part 3, which we will do for exactly long enough to get the cards we need.

[Timrod]

Summary

: I fused Suzaku, and then spent like 15 minutes grinding rank to be able to return him.

: We can take the Mansearch for 100 yen, but have to pay another 3100 to finish it.

: The bodyguard at Shiraishi will sell you a rumor for 100 yen that allows you to find the blacksmith.

: In case you’re wondering, the giant portal in the ground is where you exit if you use the teleporter out of Xibalbafune.

: This opens up the legendary weapons at Padparacha. The problem is that you still need demon rumors to make them good, and they require items that need annoying sidequests to finish.

: We missed out on two of the materials - one comes from returning Nezha, a rare demon in Aoba Park, and a second comes from successfully doing the Tsuchinoko sidequest in the sewer.

: I used the Item Breeder on the Akashic Ring to get a second one, since we’ll get a second Legenbright not too long from now.

: You can only make one Legendary Handgun, so I do that.

: We then complete the map. If you have the Golden Honey, I recommend turning around now and going to turn it in. Why? You’ll see.

: Salam gives us a shitload of tarot cards and two Fool cards. We just need one more to summon… something. In the PS1 version, you’d have to grind negotiations to get a fourth card, since the only other one you can get is from mapping the final dungeon - and by then, there’s no point.

: My capture software was shitting the bed here, there’s a “…” line shared by Katsuya and Maya with their “sad” portraits here.

: Well, I guess we know what happened to Sugawara. And now, an awkwardly timed cutscene.

: And there’s our next dungeon, where we finally find out what all that stuff with the shrine at the beginning of the game gets us.

: Most of this is recycled from Innocent Sin, where the same thing happened.

: Gotta love how you have this giant zombie thing shambling down the stairs, only to stop for a completely unrelated cutscene.

: “You’re kidding me…?”

: “What have they done!?”

: “Ch…!”

: What Was Sugawara isn’t a particularly difficult boss, just a very annoying one. In this case, we get bad RNG and start after he does.

: All of his attacks are physical, and all of them have a chance of inflicting a status effect - this attack is called Tentacle and is probably his worst one because it inflicts Shock.

: Baofu gets shocked, which fucks me out of being able to cast Mamakajaka and buff the party. What Was Sugawara also has a rather annoying gimmick: every turn, he heals for around 800 damage.

: Fortunately, he is VERY weak to fire, and we have the ability to set up Blazing Burst between Maya and Tatsuya. Blazing Burst does damage based on Dexterity, and both of them are maxed.

: In the next round, we go before the boss does. I get some buffs off, and then it’s off to the races.

: Then shit kinda goes downhill. The boss gets two turns in a row, which it uses to kill Maya and Baofu and shock everyone else.

: It takes me a bit to get everyone back up, but another Blazing Burst ends it even with the two full turns of regeneration the boss got.

: Tatsuya maxes out his Vitality (it was at 98 in Innocent Sin) and increases our Persona fusion level limit to 68.

: I’m not quite sure how Katsuya knows this, given that he never met Sugawara until now.

: “'It’s no good, it’s not budging an inch… we couldn’t land this ship even if we wanted to…”

: “What are we gonna do!?.. The city’s flying… at this rate, the dragon will appear, and the earth’s axis will rotate!”

: “As long as we’re alive, we can stop him…”

: “Tatsuya is right. We haven’t lost yet… we’re gonna bring this ship down the way we’re gonna bring down Sudou! Even if he has backup!”

: Maya looks at him. “You mean by spamming God Hand until it dies?”

: Tatsuya’s Scenario Part 3 is open, and we need to do it to get that last Fool card.

: Part 3 is some fucking bullshit. I will not be doing the entire plot of it in this update, because it’s got a lot of dialogue and two bullshit boss fights. What I will do is summarize the plot up to the point where I’m going to need to load this into the emulator - which I didn’t have time to do this weekend.

: “Look, I know she sucks, but I still want to help her because, uh… why did I want to do that again?”

: “You didn’t. To save this dumbass cop, you’ll need to venture… into HP LOVECRAFT’S ™ (R) DREAMLANDS and recover her twelve magic brain gems, only no one can go there because it sucks.”

: “Whatever. I’ll go get my fill-in mom, some lady who is only really auxiliary to the entire plot, my dumbass cop brother and a hacker and defeat… wait, this is just gonna be Snow Queen, isn’t it?”

: Insert that one Pop Team Epic meme here. Actually…

: “Wow Tatsuya, I can’t believe you’d shack up with a lady cop, which is weird because I am also a cop and you can’t stand being around me.”

: Then we meet this guy, who uh… something’s wrong with his face and he has a magic key he can jangle to open a portal to HP Lovecraft Presents: The Dreamlands.

: More pointless Lovecraft references. Randolph Carter is one of Lovecraft’s self-inserts.

: We then meet Lieutenant Zula, who is a cat. Zula tells us that we need to recover the 12 mirror shards recover Shiori’s twelve magic brain gems. The first one is on, uh… what’s his name again?

: Right, I’ll just call it Recolored Shoggoth, because that’s exactly what it is.

: Recolored Shoggoth has 12,000 HP and a number of instakill spells. It tends to stick to two skills: Asteroid Bomb (which does Almighty damage) and a weak physical attack.

: The strategy here is pretty simple: I set up God Hand and Blazing Burst, which does around 1700 damage per turn. Ulala is on heals.

: Recolored Shoggoth gives a piddling amount of EXP, which is kinda bullshit given that it has more HP and is potentially harder than a lot of the end-game bosses in the main game.

: For reference, I’m pretty sure you’re meant to do this after a lot of grinding on a run where you intend to do the EX Dungeon, but… yeah, I’m not doing that.

: This scenario kinda tries to tie Carl Jung in with Lovecraft’s Dreamlands shit, and directly states that Philemon and Nyarlathotep live there, but uh… yeah, no. Not canon.

: We then get sent to a visual representation of this song a recolor of the final dungeon. Here’s the map.

: Most of the towers work like this: you meet a demon, the demon asks you a question, and if you answer correctly you get a shitload of tarot cards and do not have to fight.

: Answering the first one skips the fight and gives us some stuff about Hinduism I think Satomi Tadashi copied out of a textbook.

: I should mention that the Golden Honey still works even in Lovecraft World, so we can simply skip all the random encounters.

: Unfortunately, this one we have to fight because he wants to give Maya a makeover.

: This fight is fucking bullshit and why I’m going to load the save into an emulator. Azazel has a number of bullshit Dark spells, including Eternal Black. He also out-speeds everyone so I can’t protect against it. But that’s no problem - he’s only got 3,000 HP and…

: And he absorbs magic. Of course he fucking does. Even worse, our physical skills do exactly nothing to him.

: Have I mentioned that he also has a full-party charm spell, and that he can hit Maya with it? Yeah. The game expects you to have post-game shit to do this, which is dumb because it is the only way to do a thing you’d have no reason to do on a second playthrough.

: Anyway, I’m gonna load this into the emulator and savestate my way through this because god fuck I do not feel like grinding any more this week.

[SpammyV]

At least we get the cats out of it. Everyone acts like they’re too good to include the cats like “This is a serious story we can’t have the cat army show up and save the day.”

[Timrod]

Summary

: The fight against Azazel fucking sucks. It took me over an hour of savestate abuse to get past, mostly because there simply is no good answer to him.

: Azazel has three major “fuck you, I win” buttons - the first is the spell you see above. That’s Pandaemonium, which is an Almighty spell that will likely instakill anyone who does not reflect or null it. That’s a thing in this game, by the way - you can null Almighty spells. It’s considered an element just like everything else.

: On one run, I have Tatsuya crit for over 700 damage on a regular attack. It is not enough, and the party wipes.

: Anyway, Azazel has a second skill (which I forgot to get a shot of due to being on the emulator) which is called Guillotine Fake. Guillotine Fake does enough physical damage to oneshot everyone who is not Tatsuya, and has a chance of instakilling on top of that.

: As far as I can tell, winning this fight effectively depends on Azazel using Eternal Black on his first turn. I also didn’t get any shots of my winning run, but I’ll describe what I did.

: Throughout the game, we got a couple of items (six of them, to be precise) called Physical Guards. Physical Guards cast Tetrakarn, which reflects the next physical damage you take.

: The trick is this. Save a state before the fight because this is some RNG-ridden bullshit. Get him to use Eternal Black turn one, and then respond by using Physical Guards on everyone.

: What this does is reflects back roughly 1400 damage (assuming you can get it on everyone and you don’t have anyone get charmed and use a physical attack to break Tetrakarn) onto Azazel.

: Hastur is actually good here even though he has no physical skills, simply because he nulls all of Azazel’s other bullshit.

: Again, I’ll summarize the dialog.

: “Shouldn’t we just leave this behind?”

: “No, because that’s how you get Persona 5.”

: The first option gets you 50 Hanged Man cards. The second gets you 200 Temperance cards. We do not give a single fuck about either one.

: I’m going to skip from here to the part we give a shit about… once I load my saves back onto the PSP. By the way, Mega decided to be a dick and delete all my files, so I’ll have to re-upload the saves for Persona 1 and Innocent Sin.

: Two towers later, we meet Angra Mainyu. Angra Mainyu is the entire reason I spent over an hour savestating my way past Azazel. He asks a dumbass high school philosophy textbook question about the nature of good and evil.

: The first answer is the one we want. This is how we are going to get our last Fool card.

: Now, here’s the thing. We could use those Fool cards on Personas that are a lot better than what we’re going to use them for - including one that probably could’ve soloed Azazel - but I spent like five minutes in the start of the game mashing buttons in front of that shrine and I want my reward, dammit.

: We then immediately quit out of Tatsuya’s Scenario. By the way, it turns out you can’t use this to get infinite Fool cards - if you do this a second time, Angra Mainyu gives you 200 Justice cards instead.

: We now need to do some very specific actions before we set foot in Sumaru Castle. It is imperative that if you are going for the shrine reward that you DO NOT SET FOOT IN SUMARU CASTLE. DOING SO CAN LEAD TO A PERMAFUCK.

: Instead, we want to go to Mizuno’s office. If we hadn’t answered that question earlier (the one around the time we got Nanjo) correctly, this wouldn’t be available.

: Even though it would be a better idea for Tatsuya to impale this dipshit on his katana, we have to listen to his story. I am not going to bother making a new icon for him.

: “You’re aware of the legend of Kiyotada and Torifune, right? Long ago the gods arriving on the Torifune gave man civilization… Kiyotada Sumaru, who found out about it, built the castle here in Sumaru City where the Torifune sleeps…”

: “This legend was created back in the civil war time by Kiyotada. He attempted to create the Torifune through Kotodama! Kiyotada built Sumaru City based upon the principles of Yin and Yang.”

: This feels a lot like the “Ancient aliens resurrected Hitler!” conversation from Innocent Sin, and I’m pretty sure the translation is… not great.

: “According to history, it speaks of mere tyranny. But in legends, it states the use of Wang Long fortunes and rumors! Kiyotada used Wang Long to conquer… he was slain by a samurai, Suou, and was mummified for his punishment!”

: Did he just say… a samurai named… Suou? That sounds like some kind of historical boyfriend. That, or a Nyarlathotep plot.

: “See, doesn’t that fit in this situation!? If we only knew this 10 years ago… the legend was telling the truth!”

: We need to ask that first question.

: Vassal my ass. I think you mean “boyfriend”, or possibly “husband”.

: Hmm… the next thing we have to do is a man-search.

: Setsu Nishitani is the old lady hanging out in front of the Alaya Shrine.

: You have to do the man-search and turn it in before you can get the second part of the rumor we need.

: Again, we need to hear this story.

: If you’ve read the Innocent Sin LP, a lot of this probably sounds familiar. That’s because the entirety of Sumaru Castle is basically Innocent Sin’s story told as a samurai story.

: And that’s the other rumor we need.

: Hmm… it’s weird that we don’t seem to know what the servant’s name was, especially given how important he seemed to be to the overall plot. Or do we? Remember the shrine?

: And this is why we needed to fill the box at the start of the game. We need to reunite some historical boyfriends. Now that we’ve spread the rumors, it is safe to go to Sumaru Castle.

: Sumaru Castle is actually ENTIRELY skippable. The gimmick of the dungeon is that it has eight warp points - seven go to the dungeon itself, the eighth to a door that needs a password. Each warp has a single letter of the password.

: However, we do NOT want to do that. Why? There is a rare demon in the castle, and I will probably need its material card to beat Azazel the second time we go through that.

: Before we start warping, let me post the map so you can understand why coming here is a permafuck if you want the shrine reward but have not spread the rumors.

: You’ll notice that there are two versions of floors 3 and 7. If you have not spread the rumors about Tatsunoshin and Maihime and go to either of those floors, you are PERMAFUCKED out of the shrine reward. We’ve spread the rumors though, and that’s why we’re going to both of those places first.

: One other thing I should mention: spreading the rumors about Tatsunoshin and Maihime is POINTLESS unless you have at least four Fool cards and did the shrine at the start of the game.

: If you only spread the rumor and did not do the shrine, only Tatsunoshin will be here. But if you did…

: Ghost boyfriend! Ghost boyfriend! I should mention that the ghost of Junnosuke looks NOTHING like what he looks like when we get him as a Persona.

NEW PERSONA: JUNNOSUKE KURODA

Origin: Persona 2 Innocent Sin

Eternal Punishment Original

Legendary ninja catboy boyfriend (and later husband) of Tatsunoshin Suou. Ancestor of Jun Kurosu.

: Junnosuke is a Fool Persona for exactly one reason: because all of the other Fool Personas are ninjas. You might notice that he only has two skills and his stats suck. Let me explain.

: All of the Ancestor Personas have only a single skill to start, and learn a second one at Rank 8. You might think “Wow, they’re unusable bullshit and a waste of cards!” and you’re kinda right.

: There are two reasons to summon Junnosuke. The first is something we’ll see when it comes time to fight the boss of Sumaru Castle. The second is that returning him is the only way to get the Karma Ring - which is the only way to get the final reward in the Bomb Shelter for reading all of Sachiko’s notes… assuming you don’t already have one from Innocent Sin.

: Speaking of which, his design sucks, so I asked Salty Vanilla to make a new one that’s more historically accurate.

: Before you ask, yes, I did originally have plans for Salty Vanilla to also do an Ancestor Persona for Lisa and Eikichi, but Salty has been really busy lately. Lisa’s was going to be her in one of those Chinese dresses but then also wearing cowboy boots, boxing gloves, and a cowboy hat.

: Eikichi’s was going to be a cyborg, because if you’re going to fuck with history, why not go all the way?

NEW PERSONA: TATSUNOSHIN SUOU

Origin: Persona 2 Innocent Sin

Eternal Punishment Original

Samurai who defeated Kiyotada Sumaru by burning his fucking castle to the ground. Ancestor of Tatsuya and Katsuya. Boyfriend (and later husband) of Junnosuke Kuroda. Heavily based on the story of Akechi Mitsuhide.

: There’s optional dialogue in Tatsunoshin’s room.

: “His name being Suou means that he’s Tatsuya and Katsuya’s ancestor…? Couldn’t be…”

: “A legend returns as a rumor… it doesn’t make me feel good being forced to call upon the dead…”

: The other destination is this room on the third floor.

NEW PERSONA: MAIHIME AMANO

Origin: Persona 2 Innocent Sin

Eternal Punishment Original

Princess who opened Japan to Western restaurants. Known for her support of Japan’s crab industry. Ancestor of Maya.

: Maihime is the only Ancestor Persona who is even remotely worth it. We already know why Heartfelt Prayer is good, and Protection Dance is a full-party defensive buff.

: It probably isn’t, given that Sumaru Castle is a filler dungeon that has little to no impact on the overall story. I feel like it was a setpiece they made before they knew what the game was going to be.

: While we’re here, I spend a while looking for the rare demon and farming cards. We’re running out of free cards and need like 400 to summon Maihime. We also need Tatsuya to gain a level, and need money for a Megidolaon card.

: The problem with Sumaru Castle is that most of the enemies are packing instakills, like Adramelech here. By the way, this is another thing that transfers from Innocent Sin I forgot to show off.

: Near the end of Innocent Sin, there’s a negotiation you can get with Eikichi if you tell him Tatsuya plays the guitar. If you do this in Innocent Sin, it transfers to Eternal Punishment. There is a way to get this without transferring the save.

: This gives you an updated version of Flamenco de la Pasion where Tatsuya has an electric guitar. It’s kind of an interesting touch that the theme for the Metal Jun/Lisa/Eikichi fight doesn’t have the guitar solo that Innocent Sin’s boss theme does - presumably because they lost Tatsuya as their guitar player.

: I grab a couple of the clues to the password. This is from Floor 7. The letters are arranged by floor, so the word ends in S.

: Floor 1’s letter is P, so it starts with P and ends with S.

: “I’d like to solve the puzzle!”

: No, Mara, it’s 7 letters. Not 5.

: After over an hour of dicking around on Floor 7, I run into the rare demon. This is Rangda, in what I think is the only Persona game where she isn’t a trashsona.

: She’s a total pushover if you’re using magic - she has Megidola, but it doesn’t do much. We’ll fix that by giving her Megidolaon. Let me go ahead and post her stats.

: Rangda is what they expect you to have going into that fight against Azazel in Tatsuya’s Scenario, and is a hard counter to his bullshit - she reflects Physical, nulls Dark, and also nulls charm.

: The problem is that outside of that, she’s… kinda meh. Sure, 25% resistance to all magic outside of Light is nice, but her moveset kinda sucks.

: Now that we’ve got Rangda’s card, it’s time to go grind ranks on the ancestors. I’m real glad rank as a concept died after this game. Did you know we’re over 34 hours into this game? We are.

: The only saving grace here is that we have those Gear accessories and all the ancestors have Best compatibility with at least one person. We have Baofu stand in as Jun, using the Synchronize Gear because Junnosuke Kuroda absolutely burns through SP.

: On an interesting side note, Tatsunoshin has Best compatibility with Tatsuya, but only Great compatibility with Katsuya.

: By the time they reach Rank 8, I realize that Maihime and Junnosuke are actually surprisingly useful. Maihime reaches 99 Dexterity if you give her a Dex card, and Junnosuke reaches 99 Luck if you give him a Luck card. Junnosuke is probably the best Persona for casino grinding.

: I turn on the Golden Honey and start looking for the lithographs. This is pretty braindead, and honestly I’m gonna skip some of it because we already have everything we need here.

: This gives us an E as the second letter, meaning the word is P E _ _ _ _ S

: “Oh! Oh! I know this one! It’s PEENIIS, kinda drawn out like you’re screaming it.”

: Third letter is an R, giving us P E R _ _ _ S.

: Floor 5 has some optional dialogue.

: The next couple of letters are a little tricky, as you’re likely to encounter them out of order due to the fourth and fifth warps having stairs between them. The game gives you the hint of ordering them by warp, but it’s entirely possible to encounter this one in… I think the fifth warp even though it’s actually the sixth letter.

: We have… pretty much everything we need to solve this, to the point where I’m not going to bother getting the last letter. The password is “Perseus”. I don’t know how that makes sense, given that the whole dungeon is themed after the constellation Ursa Major, which has exactly fuck all to do with Perseus.

: “I did some research prior to coming here. Perseus is a constellation named after the man who slew Medusa in Greek mythology. Many people of ancient times believed in the stars, and it’s no surprise that Perseus was picked. He was a heroic figure.”

: “It IS a bit odd for them to use a Western name, but people today have strange ideas of magic. Another effect of rumors, I guess.”

: You’re standing in a medieval Japanese castle made from rumors floating on top of an ancient Japanese spaceship also made from rumors and THAT’S what you’re questioning?

: “Wow, you’re such a hardworking guy. So what’s a ‘henbai’?”

: “Henbai is a type of ‘magical stepping’ that originated in China. With this, you crush evil stars and invite good luck.”

: I looked it up, and this is generally accurate. Henbai was a ritual done by Onmyo practitioners who would do it for nobles going on trips.

: That article made me laugh a bit because they point out that the whole Onmyo thing was just a government job - it wasn’t a religious practice. I think that’s something we need today: government wizards.

: Now, you might say “Wait, isn’t that basically a lawyer” and the answer is yes, but I’m saying we need a wizard in addition to all the lawyers. You want to pass a law, you gotta get the approval of the guy in the ridiculous robe and pointy hat. It’s just how it’s done.

: “Hokutoku is a magic where you draw Ursa Major on the earth to sanctify and protect that area… most likely, it means to walk in a certain pattern, or something like that…”

: I can’t verify this one because there’s a region in Japan by the same name, though I suppose it could also be a magic spell in the way that Cleveland is also a spell that prevents people from going to the Super Bowl.

: Remember that room in the Undersea Ruins where it was a hole maze? That’s exactly what this room is, but it’s much, much easier.

: You see these big circles on the floor? All you have to do is walk in a straight line to the nearest one. Missing sends you down a hole to the area right before the password door and puts you on an SP damage floor.

: There’s one last warp out, but we’re good. We don’t need new Personas. I didn’t even bother leveling up Tatsuya to use Rangda.

: Looks like Tatsuzou has killed all of his buddies to get their sin juice, which kinda makes no sense when you remember that the New World Order had a sin vacuum that didn’t kill people.

: The party files in one by one because this boss fight is going to be over very quickly.

: “Fronts, fatigue, and contradictions… people think only of themselves!! And so, punishment will be yours again!! This world is decayed… the law, the system, and all humans who live off of it!!”

: Funny how he makes even less sense than his supposedly completely insane son.

: “Damn you, Tatsuzou! What right do you have to judge us!?”

: “That’s bullshit… deceiving people with stupid curses… your deception ends here, old man!”

: “Fools… you don’t understand human nature. Curses and fortunes were things you wanted! Look down there! People are still curious about fortunes, jinxes, and wish for good luck… You cannot stop a heart that involuntarily pumps its blood for curses…! Or the pulsing power of life it brings!”

: You might ask what the fuck is going on in this cutscene, and the answer is… honestly, I don’t know.

: I think the idea is supposed to be that Tatsuzou summoned a monster made of sin juice to fight the Wang Long dragons or some shit, but honestly, none of this matters.

: Eternal Punishment has exactly the same problem Innocent Sin did - it starts with a plot that’s somewhat coherent (the Sudou/Masked Circle and Sudou/New World Order plot) and then just kinda devolves into nonsense until you fight a dadmass.

: I have a question: How is it that no one in the later games recalls the Earth cracking and starting to explode? I mean, I can get why no one remembers SMT IF - because SMT IF is largely confined to a single high school in Japan and is super easy to cover up - but this makes no sense.

: Now, I mean, you can argue that it’s not meant to make sense. This is, after all, a Cthulhu mythos plot. However, this whole thing just seems completely incoherent from a writing perspective.

: This scene might have had more impact if we had like, any interaction with Tatsuzou whatsoever before this, as opposed to… what, three scenes with him in the entire game?

: The Detested Hunter is piss easy. Dark Baptism is a spell that makes it so you cannot cast healing magic for the entire fight… but we can still buff using Heartfelt Prayer.

: We clown on him using Blazing Burst and God Hand. The thing is, the boss can and will cast Dark Baptism multiple times even though subsequent casts do NOTHING. He does have an unblockable insta-kill, so I suppose it might be because Dark Baptism wears off if someone dies.

: The dead bodies start combusting.

: Meet Gozen.

: Gozen is a possibly nasty fight depending on what he chooses to do. He has two full-party physical nukes and Megidolaon, in addition to a skill called Perpetual Darkness that could fuck up our uh, strategy. Perpetual Darkness blocks fusion spells for one turn.

: He uses his first turn to cast Megidolaon. This is what we want him to do. It is the only spell he will be getting off. Why, you ask?

: To answer that question, we first need to switch in the ancestors.

: As far as I’m aware, there is nothing in the game that tells you that you can do this, but the ancestors have a hidden fusion spell that is only accessible by using their Rank 8 skills in this order: Pressure Needle (from Junnosuke), Protection Dance (from Maihime), and then Mighty Swing (from Tatsunoshin).

: I don’t know how you’d think to do this on your own, unless you just happen to equip the ancestors and use all their rank 8 skills until it triggers by chance - but you still wouldn’t know to use it because it doesn’t do anything except against Gozen.

: The description really should be “Instantly kills Kiyotada Sumaru”. There’s no real animation for it, but I think we all know it’d be Junnosuke and Tatsunoshin charging a spirit bomb made of pure boyfriend power and then Maihime tossing a can of crabmeat at Gozen for an instakill before they can actually launch it.

: Tenchu-Satsu kills Gozen in a single hit by doing exactly his max HP (8,000) in damage. This is your reward for all that bullshit grinding: you get to skip a boss. I don’t know why this wasn’t implemented into Sumaru Castle by default.

: I’m going to keep going for just a bit, because this is the final dungeon and there’s some plot coming up.

: We’ve entered THE CUBE DIMENSION.

: Another thing I would have had Salty Vanilla do if he had the time is a shot of an alternate ending if you Tenchu-Satsu Gozen to death where they wind up in the Boyfriend Zone and everyone but Tatsuya has to leave.

: Yep, they’re not dicking around with who this is anymore.

: Now, if you remember Innocent Sin, you’ll remember the Shadows of the party. Guess what these portraits are.

: This is a Buddhist thing… sort of. The canonical three poisons are greed (lust), hatred (anger), and delusion (ignorance). Vengeance would probably fall under hatred.

: Shadow Baofu is absolutely loving this shit.

: At least he didn’t say “You’re not me”, though technically… I mean, given that it’s Nyarlathotep in disguise…

: Though, you know… if this is true, does that mean that every time in Persona 4 where someone looked at their Shadow and went “No, you’re not me!” they were actually correct because it’s Nyarlathotep?

: Nyarlathotep has just signed his death warrant.

: What would stop them at that point from just making a third world?

: And now we get to through what is basically all of the Zodiac temples from Innocent Sin crammed into a single dungeon.

: Tatsuya should totally be like “Oh no, not my boyfriend remembering who I am! That’d be the worst possible thing that could happen!”

: Next time, we’ll do the final dungeon and save Jun.

[Timrod]

Summary

: This week’s update is gonna be a bit short because I was kinda busy this weekend and by the time I felt like recording, I realized that I didn’t actually feel like recording.

: Before we go into Monad Mandala, there’s a bit of optional dialogue. Monad Mandala is effectively a plot dump wherein Satomi Tadashi tries to cram in character development for Katsuya and Ulala.

: That’s one of my big problems with this game - half the party is basically an non-entity. Up until this point, I think the most I could say about Ulala is that she’s just kinda there. Same with Katsuya.

: “Tatsuya… you fought with that monster all this time… no… that ridiculing… that arrogance… that is undoubtedly… human itself.”

: “Damn… I’m… turning pale…? Calm down… you’re Kaoru Saga… there’s nothing you can’t do… calm down…”

: “Ma-ya… did you feel that…? That giant energy… it was so deep… mixed with a bunch of dark emotions… can we… defeat that?”

: And now we’re in the first of uh… six parts of this shit. You probably don’t want to use the Golden Honey here if only because the encounters here aren’t nearly as annoying as Sumaru Castle. Unlike Sumaru Castle, none of the enemies here (at least, in this early part) has an instakill. In fact, there’s one spot where you can sorta, kinda perform the Greatest Weapon in the Phantom Thieves Arsenal a full three games before Persona 5.

: The most annoying enemy here by far is Saji, the robed guy in the back. He’s annoying because he reflects magic and always comes in a group. Even with 75% resistance, a reflected God Hand can and will oneshot Maya.

: Cherub (in the back) is how you can kinda perform the Greatest Weapon - they have Recarmdra, which kills them to revive everyone else on their side of the field. Given that our current setup nulls or reflects all but one of their attacks, we can abuse the hell out of this for EXP.

: There’s supposed to be a thing with Valkyrie here where if you have a Rank 8 Odin, you can get a Persona Chat where Valkyrie gives you a Legenbright. Unlike the one with Byakhee, it isn’t guaranteed. Worse, it only appears if the person with Odin is at very low HP.

: This dungeon’s gimmick is that there are doors that work like teleporters. This one is a one-way teleport from near the end of World of Reason back to the start, because fuck you, that’s why.

: Speaking of which, if you are planning to do a New Game + for the EX Dungeon, you will want to map out Monad Mandala. There is a mapping quest for it that we can’t get quite yet, but it gets you three Fool cards that you can use as a much easier route for getting Junnosuke.

: The problem is that on a New Game +, especially one where you’re shooting for the EX Dungeon, you’re probably going to be so overleveled that you can just shit on Gozen without the instakill.

: At the end of World of Reason, there’s a cutscene room.

: Can you imagine how much better this game would’ve been if Katsuya was a pastry chef? I mean, just fucking imagine that he goes to Sevens for career day or something and that’s why he runs into Maya, and then he pulls out his gun against Sudou. Ulala asks why he has one and he’s like “The world of dessert is a very dark one, indeed.”

: I’m pretty sure they mean “the police academy”, because Japan has those just like the US does, and not “law school”. At least, not unless he wanted to be a prosecutor.

: What’s funny about this line in conjunction with the last one is that the police - at least in the US - have actively discriminated against people who they deem “too intelligent”.

: “Nonsense! I don’t regret anything!”

: “That’s… not… true…”

: “What’s wrong, Suou!? Stay sharp…!”

: I think I mentioned this earlier, but one of the people who worked on this game - I think it was Kazuma Kaneko - confirmed in one of the World Guides for this game that Maya has no romantic interest whatsoever in either of the Suou brothers.

: Fulfill your desires. Become a gun-toting pastry chef with an actual personality. It’s not like Tatsuya even needs protection given that he’s a full ten levels above the rest of the party and can light shit on fire with his mind.

: I’m sure that’s gonna go real well, since Tatsuya has like 900 HP right now and your gun is going to do maybe 200 or 300 damage before Tatsuya incinerates you.

: “W… wait… Suou!? Get ahold of yourself!! Ma-ya, stop him!!”

: Picking the first option makes the fight against Shadow Katsuya harder.

: I didn’t get a good shot of it, but Katsuya turns around and shoots his Shadow. Guns have presumably not evolved enough in the year 2000 to instantly kill Shadows like they can in 2016.

: Shadow Katsuya teleports out. My best guess is they did this because they expected you fought Gozen the hard way, and didn’t want to possibly have an unwinnable situation if you somehow ran out of items while fighting him.

: “Katsuya… I’m…”

: “I caused everyone trouble… it’s okay now.”

: More optional dialogue.

: “That brocon couldn’t kill his own little brother… dammit… just watching him embarrasses me.”

: “Katsuya… can protect Big Sis Maya… now… I can rest easily…”

: Just outside the cutscene room is a pillar that opens a door to the rest area, which functions as both a shortcut within Monad Mandala and the only way back to Sumaru City.

: We’re going to do this because there’s a cutscene the first time you do it, but also to get the map quest. Area 7 of the Bomb Shelter has also opened up, and it has a new rare demon in it.

: The map of Sumaru City is uh… a bit different. There are rumors you can spread to get the Narumi-exclusive businesses (Clair de Lune and Padparacha) to move, but… meh.

: Area 7 is a large maze full of hidden passageways and damage floors. It sucks.

: I spent about 40 minutes in here waiting for the demon to show up. Why, I don’t know - given that we’d need to get Tatsuya three more levels from somewhere to fuse it.

: Virochana is effectively an upgraded Apollo - like Apollo, he’s a primarily Fire-based Persona with a Nuclear coverage skill, but he also has Myriad Arrows and Light damage.

New Persona: Virochana

Origin: Hinduism

First Appearance: Shin Megami Tensei I (PC Engine Only)

King of the Asuras in Hindu myth.

: Virochana is also the source of an Akashic Ring, but he’s honestly a good enough Persona by himself that there’s no reason to return him. It just sucks that he’s level 73. Anyway, here’s something that pissed me off.

: For some reason, the game does not properly give you credit for mapping out the World of Reason if you do it before picking up the sidequest from Salam.

: I move on to the World of Instinct, which is just more of the same shit. There’s a Soma in there, and while I was there I figured I’d try and get that Persona Chat.

: To do that, I use a shit fusion spell called Death’s Roulette, which instantly kills whoever has the lowest Luck stat. Turns out that’s actually Tatsuya, but eventually it kills Baofu. We want to leave him at 1 HP, which makes the chances of a Persona Chat happening go way up.

: And now, let’s move on to the next cutscene room.

: “Hey, Ma-ya, you listening!?”

: “That Deja Vu Boy again? You’re so lucky… compared to me… why do I have such bad luck with men!?”

: “It’s always been like that! You were always getting attention! Why do I have to be the ugly skank!? I’m 10 times prettier than you… I’m also athletic, fashionable, and a great homemaker. I’m even a good dancer to boot!”

: This is basically every Olivia Jaimes-era Nancy comic after about the first year.

: It’s funny, because I couldn’t even remember what Ulala’s job was or even if the game ever told us. That’s how much of a non-presence Ulala is.

: We actually did learn that back in Innocent Sin - she works for a company that makes lingerie. It’s only ever brought up once in her introduction, and then again in her introduction in this game.

: “Uh… hello!? I’ve been ripping into you for the past five minutes and all you can do is sleep…?”

: “Sometimes, I wonder why I even bother… well, you do work late every day… let’s go home, Ma-ya. Here, grab your purse.”

: Here’s what I’d like to ask you. What did we learn in this cutscene that we didn’t already know? We already knew Ulala envies Maya (for some weird reason) when we fought her at Gold.

: Hold on a second… I think I’ve heard this before, but I can’t quite remember where. Let me think… we’ve got a tomboy-ish character who is secretly envious of her more feminine friend…

: Oh, right. Admittedly, this is one of the few things the Persona 4 writers (not including Hashino, who did not have a writer credit) did better than Satomi Tadashi - Chie has the characterization that Ulala never really gets.

: That’s not to say there isn’t a myriad of reasons why Persona 4’s writing is bad. It absolutely is.

: “Ugh… you don’t have to rub it in…”

: We want this first option here, as the second one raises Shadow Ulala’s stats when we fight her. The difference isn’t huge: both her and Shadow Katsuya gain 10 levels, between 5 and 8 points in every stat, and around a thousand HP if you answer incorrectly.

: We’ve got some optional dialogue in this room, and then I’m gonna call it for now, the reason being that I kinda fucked up a bit and gave the Count the Megidolaon card I had.

: It costs just under a million yen without the discount, and around 800,000 with it. I want this for Rangda, because we have a couple of bosses coming up who are primarily physical. I was pretty close by the time I finished recording.

: Oh, that’s easy. It’s because unlike Innocent Sin, we’ll be fighting the Shadows two at a time.

: Next time, we’ll fight the Shadows and also probably finish the game.

[Dragolord09]

…honestly a lot of these older SMT games’ stories aren’t exactly high quality, despite what the character profiles and story summaries imply on various websites. If remakes for the older Persona games do happen, besides the hopes of transferring over to 3D models and fixing the various problems on the gameplay side of things, I hope that the stories themselves undergo extensive rewrites, or at least some corrections here and there for better flow and enjoyment.

[Timrod]

Summary

: Man, this has been one hell of a week. I’ve been out of it for like four days due to a bad cold. The last time that happened, I was doing Thanatos Tower in Persona 1.

: I take a break and make the Legendary Coin for Baofu. This might seem like an illogical decision given that Ulala and Katsuya both have strength scores approaching the mid-80s, but if I ever decide to grind out the demon rumors for it, the +20 to magic attack makes more sense on Baofu, as he is nearing 80 dexterity.

: This was, however, an illogical decision because it cost me 100,000 yen I could’ve been using to get that Megidolaon card back.

: I fuse Rangda and toss Megidolaon on her after some grinding.

: Even with an All Card instead of a Dex card, Rangda will hit nearly max dexterity just from ranking up. She has “best” compatibility with Maya, so I shuffle the Personas around a bit.

: Baofu gets Nodens, who at this point has undergone several stat-up mutations. Odin goes to Katsuya, which allows me to use God Hand with Baofu in the second slot.

: The World of Judgment is largely uneventful - there’s no new random encounters and it’s more or less a straight path to the boss.

: This fight is piss easy. Shadow Ulala has a full-party charm spell, but instead opts to go for her damage spells… which do exactly fuck all.

: Our first round is spent buffing, after which I have Baofu and Maya cast God Hand. This wipes a full third of both shadows’ HP in one go.

: Shadow Katsuya is mostly Gun attacks, and that kinda sucks given that Katsuya is currently weak to Gun and his Shadow seems to prefer attacking him, but it doesn’t really matter.

: One thing I forgot is that Eternal Punishment is from an era where Megidolaon meant something - as opposed to Persona 5 where it’s just another high-level spell. Maya hits both Shadows for 800 damage by herself.

: Within three turns, both Shadows are down.

: Conveniently, this also gets Tatsuya the last level he needed to be able to fuse Virochana, which will be helpful against the next set of Shadows.

: “He’s not awake. For the time being, we’re safe…”

: “But, are you sure about this, Tatsuya? Leaving him without any memories of you… he’s your friend, right?”

: “It’s… okay…”

: I hope that someday, they remake the Persona 2 duology and let you carry the Innocent Sin party to the end. And now, some optional dialogue.

: “Amano… our little group here’s a bunch of barbarians… you better be prepared.”

: “I’ve… never been so angry for someone in all my life… what did Tatsuya do to deserve this…?”

: I cracked up at the thought of Katsuya doing the whole Naruto “Forgive me… I have to go all out… just this once” thing.

: “I don’t care how much I’m despised… but I cannot sit here and watch everyone suffer…”

: “I WILL protect… ‘This Side’ and… everyone’s memories…”

: The crystal that unlocks the Rest Area for World of Judgment is just after the boss fight. We should use that, because there’s something I forgot to do.

New Persona: Fereydun

Origin: Persia

First Appearance: Devil Summoner

Mythical king of Persia, probably based on Cyrus the Great. Mostly known for killing a dragon named Azi Dahak, or Zahhak.

: Fereydun is used to unlock some bullshit that as it turns out is entirely optional, but I didn’t realize that at time of recording.

: We enter the World of Knowledge. It is very big and very empty. There is a cutscene room at the end.

: “Miki…!?”

: It’s hard to capture, but the demon is slamming Miki against the tree while choking her.

: This is a scene that is not explained very well, and I don’t think ever gets explained anywhere, outside of maybe in one of the world guides or something.

: You remember how when we met Yung Pao the first time, he said Baofu had killed something like a dozen guys in Taiwan? That happened when Baofu’s Persona awakened.

: Supposedly, the story is that right after he sees Miki die, Baofu’s Persona awakens and he kills everyone in the area except for Yung Pao, who escapes.

: The reason his Persona is here is because he blames his Persona for not awakening in time to save Miki.

: We want to pick the first option here, because the second one powers up Shadow Baofu - not that he’s going to be much of an issue either way.

: It helps that Yung Pao and Tatsuzou are both dead.

: “I’m sorry, Miki… that time I was just a hot-shot… I wasn’t able to do anything… I shouldn’t have gotten you involved… it was my fault that you died that day.”

: “It wasn’t the Persona, it wasn’t the law… it was me. It was my fault. I was so damn selfish…”

: “How pathetic… everything’s out in the open… now you see… I was planning to use you guys from the beginning! Somewhere inside, I knew… that I couldn’t do anything by myself…”

: “Heh… I wanted revenge so bad… but I couldn’t do it by myself… I didn’t even give you my real name…”

: “I was thinking… and now it’s clear… Kaoru Saga died on duty 5 years ago. The man in front of me is a completely different person than the one we saw.”

: So what you’re saying is that he… Killed The Past? That he Killed The Life? Man, I really need to get back to The Silver Case. I miss good writing.

: “…Didn’t you forget ‘twisted person’?”

: “Ch… don’t put me in the same shot glass as those sentimental wussies… and you know what, Suou? You’re not cut out to be a police officer. Investigations are supposed to be…”

: From here, we go to the World of Emotion, which is also big and empty with a cutscene room at the end.

: There’s two questions here, and we want to answer both with the second option.

: Let me explain what happens if you pick the first options. If you pick it the first time, Maya’s Shadow gets stronger. If you pick the second one, Tatsuya starts the fight dead.

: We’ve got one last thing of optional dialogue before the bullshit part.

: “That’s definitely a human… the way he looks down on others, that’s something only humans can do… heh… all right… I’ll tango with ya. As another human…”

: “Going through all this, and you’re not supposed to get upset!? I ain’t no nun or priest! I can’t stand it!!”

: “Amano, stay strong… He is trying to coax the shadows of our hearts to gain power… I finally understand.”

: Katsuya sounding dangerously close to Kingdom Hearts there. Anyway, now it’s time for bullshit.

: This is the World of Conviction, which has… the only real gimmick of this entire dungeon in that there are invisible walls we have to turn off using crystals.

: Right after the first wall you can turn off is this door. This door is where the bullshit happens. We need Fereydun equipped before walking in here, preferably on someone who isn’t Tatsuya or Maya. Why, you ask?

: If you come into this fight without Fereydun equipped, Ahzi Dahaka is invincible. You can run away from the fight if you come in without him - unless you’re on Hard mode, in which case the game becomes unwinnable due to Hard mode locking you out of being able to run away.

: Instead, Katsuya is Berserk for the duration of the fight. You can’t cure it, but fortunately the fight doesn’t last more than a God Hand without Dahaka dying.

: Now, you might ask, “How the fuck are you supposed to know about this?” and the answer is you’re meant to farm demon rumors until one tells you about Fereydun.

: This gets you what’s meant to be the last Legenbright in the game. Too bad we have no more Akashic Rings and the only way of getting them is a 1% drop off a rare enemy.

: I thought this fight was going to be difficult, but it’s actually just boring.

: Virochana turns out to be a complete waste for this fight. Baofu’s physical attack does more damage than Myriad Arrows does.

: This fight boils down to having everyone pile on Shadow Maya until she’s dead, and then going back to buffs and God Hand.

: “Did you know, Tatsuya…? There are two types of men in this world… a ‘normal’ man and… a ‘real’ man. A ‘real’ man knows how to ease sadness… you’re undoubtedly the latter…”

: “… Philemon, please…”

: There’s some optional dialogue, but this is the last room in the game. We’re going to be skipping a lot of the final part of the game - the reason is that they show you the entire post-Maya’s death ending sequence from Innocent Sin with only one change.

: “You should be proud… the person that’s protecting you is the world’s finest… undoubtedly, the real thing…”

: The game itself even kind of admits that Jun is the only valid romance choice for Tatsuya - this happens even if you did not carry your save over from Innocent Sin. In fact, I can’t think of a single thing that changed plot-wise based on the choices in the IS save.

: At this point, there is an extended flashback to Innocent Sin’s ending, which I’m 99% sure runs entirely in-engine because they left in the “Punch Philemon / Don’t Punch Philemon” choice.

: Gotta keep it consistent.

: It plays all the way up to the final ending movie, except with one change at the end…

: You know it’s a quality plot when you don’t know what the point of the “Innocent Sin” title was until the end of another game.

: “(chuckle) How’s that, Tatsuya Suou!? Do you like your punishment? You couldn’t ask them to fight with you. That’s because the sole reason the world is at the brink of destruction… is YOU!”

: …How is this a reveal again? We’ve known this for like, ten hours at this point.

: “…”

: “You broke your promise with your friends! The condition to stay in this world was to give up your memories of the old world!! But you rejected it… at that moment, the boundary separating the two worlds vacillated… that was you!!”

: “Push all the pain upon your friends, and still retain your memory… that’s an unforgivable sin. A sin must have punishment. That’s why I gave you the chance to meet her again. I coaxed fate for you all to meet again.”

: This feels like that moment in Death Note where shit happens through an extremely contrived coincidence and then Light Yagami looks at the viewer and goes “Yep, just as planned.”

: “Ch…”

: “What’s wrong…? Are you going to hide in your shell again? That face of yours when you met that woman and regained your memories… you should have seen it…”

: “…”

: “Am I detestable? But that is what you humans desired. You craved destruction from the depths of your hearts… that is me! The shadow does not forgive anyone who goes against fate.”

: " Ahhh, shut up! You can take this fate of yours and stick it up your ass!"

: I feel like Satomi Tadashi did not learn a goddamn thing from Innocent Sin. Innocent Sin’s plot had the exact same problem - it was a bunch of setpieces glued together in a way that didn’t really make sense.

: This first fight is against the “Dark Hunter”, which is piss easy because we picked the correct dialog options for the Shadow fights. It gets progressively harder if you get questions wrong.

: In its weakest form, it is weak to Water and Wind and nulls only Dark. If you answer one of the shadow questions wrong, it becomes weak only to Water, nulls Wind, and gains more HP.

: If you answer both wrong, it nulls Water and Almighty, and gains even more HP. The only real way to hurt it at that point is to use Hieroglyphein.

: We got the easy version, so you can just fill in the fight with me spamming God Hand and Megidolaon.

: Once the “Dark Hunter” goes down, Nyarlathotep transforms into a dumbass octopus thing. This part of the fight sucks because there really is no good answer to it - except for Rangda.

: Shadow Kill is a physical attack that hits for a shitload of damage, and is enough to kill Baofu and Katsuya outright. If we had access to Rakukaja, we could probably survive that - except we don’t because Eternal Punishment really, really sucks at balancing out the Persona movesets.

: He also has Chaos Element and Crawling Chaos, both attacks we’ve seen before. Crawling Chaos causes Mute, which is just fucking great given that all the Personas that have a counter to it are useless.

: The trick is that outside of one spell, that being Wheel of Time (which, as a reminder, gets stronger every time he casts it and does Almighty damage), Nyarlathotep is incapable of damaging Maya due to Rangda’s very specific combination of resistances.

: The fight got to the point where Wheel of Time could oneshot Maya, and uh, yeah. Nyarlathotep has 18,000 HP - for reference, that’s something like 4.5 Kandoris or just over 2 Gozens.

: I only just barely manage to kill him, but I get the job done. By the end, I was getting real fucking tired of his shit.

: Nyarla-Tatsuya looks like a vampire, and… actually, Tatsuya being a vampire would explain a lot about why Lisa wants him so badly despite him being gay.

: I didn’t think about it, but this scene is Tatsuya talking to Tatsuya about Tatsuya. I mean, given that Philemon and Nyarlathotep are Tatsuya at this point.

: “They represent the potential of mankind. You, the dark side of the collective unconsciousness, are linked to all humans. THAT is why… they… moved the hearts of the people…”

: I feel like this was supposed to be the ending to an entirely different game. None of this makes any goddamn sense.

: “All potential is born from chaos… I see… that’s right…”

: Remember, there is a boyfriend inside all of us. As long as you exist, so shall he.

: “You’re too damn stubborn… there’s no such thing as a human without shadows… we’ll make you remember that your place is here… just go to Hell and be done with it.”

: Maya shoots Tatsuyahotep and Tatsuya finishes him off. Now, here’s my question: why the fuck couldn’t they have done this in Innocent Sin?

: “No… there’s still one more thing… The fact remains that I’m the Paradox… if I stay here… then ‘This Side’ will be engulfed by the ‘Other Side’…”

: With Jun, right? That makes sense. I mean, he’s your boyfriend, and who else is gonna take him home from, uh… space, I guess?

: “We are connected by this ocean… we can… meet again…”

: “Bro… Ulala… Baofu… take care of Maya… and everyone…”

: I think this is one of the very few dialog lines that does change if you loaded an Innocent Sin save and chose Jun.

: “There are good things even when you become an adult… just a few…”

: FUCK THIS! I went through fucking fifty hours of this bullshit to get what’s basically a pointless downer ending! I knew this was coming, and I was expecting… I dunno, for it to least be emotional? But this shit? This is JV-level writing at best.

: Oh wait, fuck, I DID fucking pay for this game! Fuck! You know what, let’s just go to the ending I had Salty Vanilla make for this game. I’m done with this bullshit. There’s an epilogue that I’ll do in another update where the Persona 1 cast gets more of an ending than the Innocent Sin cast did.

: This is actually the second half of the final comic Salty did for the Persona 5 Royal LP. There was supposed to be one more page, but Salty was busy and I didn’t think of it until too late.

[SpammyV]

Massively disappointed that Shadow Katsuya and Shadow Baofu don’t dramatically switch their sunglasses out in-game.

[Timrod]

Summary

: I’d like to use this update to talk a little bit about my final thoughts about Eternal Punishment, and really it boils down to this: even for the awkward console generation changeover period that was 2000, Eternal Punishment is not a good game. It’s a game that feels like no one on the development team, Satomi Tadashi included, gave a single fuck about during development.

: Innocent Sin had parts that dragged really hard. Eternal Punishment is an ENTIRE GAME that does nothing but drag. Even with games like YIIK and Persona 5, I never really got to the point where recording felt like torture - but with this game, I reached that point probably a few hours in. My PSP is an arm’s length from where I sit, and even the act of turning it on felt like a goddamn endeavor.

: I got to a point where I was like “I could turn the PSP on, but the Switch is so much closer and I’ve got shit I actually want to play on that.” In fact, I’m strongly considering LPing the Xenoblade remaster - once I’ve finished The Silver Case and The 25th Ward… and Flower Sun and Rain if it gets translated.

: I think Atlus’s biggest mistake with this game was making it a sequel at all. It’s very clearly a remake meant for Western audiences in a pathetic attempt to recoup the money they blew on Innocent Sin and did not get a return on. Before the PSP version got translated, I had always assumed that Atlus didn’t bother re-releasing it for budget reasons. Now I know the real answer, both as to why this game didn’t sell originally and why the remake didn’t sell either.

: Imagine you’re a Japanese Persona fan in 2000. You’ve played Persona 1, you’ve played Innocent Sin, and up until this point you are the only audience Atlus gives a single fuck about. You buy this game, and then realize very quickly that this is Atlus looking you in the eyes and telling you to fuck yourself. Word spreads quickly that Eternal Punishment is the laziest bullshit ever, and it doesn’t sell.

: Atlus then releases Innocent Sin in the West to an audience who has probably never played Eternal Punishment, thus unintentionally creating the exact same environment that existed in Japan thirteen years earlier. They also know it’s going to be overwhelmingly obvious to those same people that Eternal Punishment is a game made to pander to the West, and that people fucking HATE that shit. So yeah, no, you’re not going to spend money on a translation - you’re going to bury that shit as hard as possible and hope no one notices.

: Let me just add that it is a fucking MIRACLE that Atlus still exists, or that they managed to make another game after this one. They did not deserve to, though I think whatever suit greenlit Eternal Punishment probably deserves to be fired, assuming he wasn’t already.

: Wait, what? Jun was barely even in this game!

: Wait, what? Elly gets to be a model? Why does Elly get a better ending than fucking Tatsuya does!? I mean, she deserves it given that she’s the best girl, but still.

: There’s a sound of a door opening.

: Let me tell you what I hate about this. The Persona 1 cast gets more of a goddamn ending than either the Innocent Sin or Eternal Punishment casts, in a game that isn’t even about them! I mean, I get it. Persona 1 was a really good game in spite of the whole first-person thing and generally not aging well, and Satomi Tadashi has a crush on the idols he made into Maki, Elly, and Yukino, but fuck! It’s not hard to see why his ass was out after this game.

: That’s another thing I think sucks about this game. Eternal Punishment is giving you the finger whether you’re a returning fan or not. If you’ve played Innocent Sin, the entire plot is completely transparent from the get-go and there’s really nothing here at all for you. If you’ve never played it, scenes like this are completely opaque to the point where if you’re in the year 2000, you probably have zero idea what the fuck the last dungeon was about outside of someone (who likely doesn’t speak Japanese and only played Innocent Sin on a stone-age PS1 emulator) telling you about it in a Gamefaqs forum post.

: You know, like this actual Gamefaqs forum post I found. Granted, this one’s from 2008. Gotta love that fucking burn at the end coming from absolutely nowhere.

: Oh, or this poor soul who doesn’t even know what Innocent Sin was.

: The fake Tatsuya lights Katsuya’s cigarette, which… apparently, Katsuya was a smoker this entire time and the game just never showed it.

: “…That’s rare. I think it’s gonna start raining.”

: “…My hand moved on its own.”

: “…”

: “…”

: Of course the fake Tatsuya wants to be a fucking cop. Fuck you, Satomi Tadashi! Just ignore this, canonically as soon as Tatsuya hears the words “become a detective”, the real Tatsuya immediately ejects that dipshit from his corporeal shell, sending the fake Tatsuya to the hell dimension in his place while he goes to marry Jun.

: “…”

: “…Won’t Pops… get upset?”

: “Alright, I’ll teach you the ways of a detective…”

: “You started up smoking again…”

: Maya very clearly remembers Innocent Sin, because it’s apparently fine if she does, so long as Tatsuya doesn’t? Fuck that shit.

: And with that, we’ve finished this shitfest of a game. It sucked. I’m not even sure a remake could save this game. I’m not going to bother finishing Tatsuya’s Scenario anytime soon, but I’m going to mark the LP as complete anyway. Let me tell you exactly why that is, by the way.

: The rest of Tatsuya’s Scenario Part 3 is more generic dungeon crawl through Monad Mandala, and then you fight the Persona 1 black rubbery version of Nyarlathotep. It is a carbon copy of the final boss of the main game… except you have to fight it without Tatsuya and it fucking sucks. You could not pay me enough to make me grind that shit out

: I’m going to finish The Silver Case, and then I’m doing The 25th Ward. No more JRPGs for a while.

[Timrod]

@moderators This one can be marked closed.