Thanks to the Cloudflare security vulnerabilities I’ve had to change my passwords again, which meant I had to go back to my old LiveJournal. While I was there I figured I’d browse through some of my old posts on a lark. I stumbled across a pile of poetry and little stories from my mid-to-late teens and early 20s and I decided to shamelessly share them! And then I figured, what the hell let’s just all post our poetry (or short writings)! Shameful teenage stuff! Serious adult stuff! Whatever you want so long as it’s yours! This is a no judgement no shame thread! Let people know if you want critiqued, no obligation! The only rule is that, if it’s kinda long (like 200+ words?) You link it as a Google Doc instead of just paste it.
Since I started this thread I guess it’s up to me to take the plunge! A warning, I’m pretty sure all my poems are garbage, and I actually haven’t written a poem since I turned 30. That disclaimer aside, here’s a choice sampling of poems from my past:
Cows Can So Dance
Tell me again that I am ill
That I have "special needs."
Tell me again I’ll not go far
That I have little chance to succeed.
Tell me again that I am different,
That I don’t stand a chance.
And I’ll show you, you simple fool…
I’ll teach cows to dance!
I’ll make them pirouette like ballerinas.
I’ll make them grove to a funky beat.
I’ll make them grind, I’ll make them twirl
Upright on cloven feet.
They’ll tango about like ballroom dancers.
They’ll salsa like randy banditos.
They’ll breakdance with wild abandon!
And Lambada like Casanovas.
I’ll teach them to play instruments
Can you imagine it?
A parade of bovines marching on
With trumpets to their lips!
A heifer with a fife, wouldn’t it be nice?
A drummer’s line falls right behind,
Can you imagine it?
I can do the impossible, can you?
If I can survive, you can too.
Just you watch what I can do
When not held back by people like you.
Lend me a hand if you wish,
But don’t dismiss me at a glance;
'Cause I will teach them cows to dance.
The date on this poem is listed as 10/17/04, I was 22 at the time. Here’s another:
Placebo
I’ve realized now
that you’re my placebo
no substance. no content.
millstones, grinding millstones.
until only dust remains
a glorious, brilliant, sweet sugar pill.
just a treatment, never a cure
for we’re both malingering
basking in the high of denial and youth.
masking our agonies in rapid results
doped up on saccharine ecstasy
emptiness all that is left, you see.
leaches, feeding on each other
cycling the toxins
never truly getting well
facsimilating normal lives
rubbing off our faces
under worn polluted masks
clinging to each other
dragging us both down.
perhaps, a higher prescription to
sublimate this misery.
I didn’t date this one but I posted it up on 3/8/2009 at the tender age of 27. However, I definitely wrote this way earlier than that. Probably in my early 20s. Let’s see some more!
Worn
I challenge the way color fades
from much loved things
and question the why of
holes worn into fabric
of something so noble as simple affection
siphoning away vibrancy.
is the message truly
that the fate of all loved things
no matter how precious
is to be worried away
by time and admiration?
This poem was written in 2005 (age 23), but I didn’t list the month and day. All of this is just extremely poop and it’s only gonna get more poop from here. Lemme show you one of me gloating about being an apathetic hard ass edgelord who is too cool for feelings:
Welp
I remember the day, I swore I’d kill it.
I’d forget it all, I’d leave it buried.
I wouldn’t bother, I wouldn’t trifle
I’d leave well enough alone.
I wasn’t going to go out seeking
Romances that would just wind up leaving
Rotting words that don’t need speaking.
I was better off alone.
I never thought I’d ever miss it,
I had myself utterly convinced,
That time alone would never break me
That I was content with my loneliness.
Every time I woke up feeling empty
Every day I wandered, feeling stray
Every night I stayed up with distraction
Pissing my blank life away.
With all my righteous isolation
And all my genuine dispassion
The bitter spiteful inclinations
Of which I found great satisfaction
And the darkened smirking and scornful bile
That belched from every twisted emotion
It was never quite enough to ward me
From irony at work.
Well, isn’t it just so damn proper.
Isn’t it so retchingly sweet.
That the acrid shield of apathetic venom
Would lead to my complete defeat?
And aren’t you just so goddamn clever
Golly gee, it’s just too tripe
That you could even bother with me,
I assure you, I’m not half the hype.
I’ve gotten a brand new infection,
Despite my claims of stark defiance
The caustic humor of it all
Is that even now
I’m grateful.
This one actually comes with a bit of heartache. I wrote this in May of 2002 (age 20) after I fell in love with a girl on the internet. I had spent about a few years pretty much done with relationships after a nasty break up and I was largely done with people in general as well before she charmed me and swept me off my feet. Sigh… I miss her so much.
Let’s close out on some TEENAGE ANGST:
A Break Up Poem
Oh, alas all of those lonely years
We thought we spent together,
In the best of company, alone.
The hours spent in quiet contemplation
Alone next to the silent phone.
Oh those times of aching hearts,
And the feelings they should render
But, you, you gave me nothing to remember.
I’d always thought I’d have fond recollections
Of the times we spent together
And that the dryness in my mouth would fade in time.
All those lonely nights, and those empty early mornings
It never did feel right, y’know,
To endure that tasteless noon.
And the brittle moments that,
We thought we’d ride in splendor.
But you, you gave me nothing to remember.
Too many woes, too many years
Too many trials, too many tears,
There was no tenderness,
But so much fear,
To think that I once held you dear.
All those wasted days committed,
To bland evenings of seclusion,
And your many events of which
I never found inclusion.
Week in, week out,
From December to December,
You, you gave me nothing worth remembered.
Oh yeah, that’s some straight up garbage and pure strain teenage angst right there. I wrote that in 1999! (Age 17.)
So there, I took the plunge and laid my 20-something and teenage soul bare. Feel free to just lay into me with critique on any of those poems and post some of your own!
