Poochyena Power! - Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Red Rescue Team

Joat · August 31, 2018, 7:16pm

The next morning…

???: Is this the place? Where that Team Zephyrai is based?

First the narrator, now you?

	Medicham: Depressing, isn’t it.
	Gengar: Keh! Who’d run a rescue team from a dump like this? Unbelievable!

Well, comparing to the buildings in town, I’d say about comparable, really.

Though, this makes me wonder where they operate from. I mean, this IS a Gengar leading the group, here. Maybe they have some impressive haunted mansion?

Cherithe: Who are you people?

Judging by naming the conventions of the area, these fine folks are known as Medicham, Gengar, and Ekans, respectively.

Medicham: Oh! Over there. A Mailbox~♪

That is not an answer.

They are so jealous.

	Cherithe: Now wait a second! What do you think you’re doing?!
	Ekans: Yessss! Rescue job offers!
	Medicham: Oo-la-la! Isn’t that rather tasty~♪

Well, maybe with a bit of salt.

Gengar: We’ll have them all.

Rescue job offers are available elsewhere. Were you banned from the bulletin board?

Cherithe: Stop!

In any form of media, has that ever worked?

Cherithe: Those were meant for us!

Yes, I think they could intuit that one.

	Cherithe: Don’t butt in!
	Gengar: Keh! It doesn’t matter who does it!

“Dear Joat and Cherithe, I need you find my friend by tracking them by scent.”

	Medicham: We’re a rescue team too, I’ll have you know~♪
	Ekans: …But all we ever get up to is no good.

This team needs a Stoutland. Yes, I know it wouldn’t be very fitting personality-wise and I know said Pokémon did not exist yet at the time of this game’s creation, but this team really needs a mustache to twirl and none of these three quite fit the bill.

Ekans: Wanna know how it works?

Yes, please enhance my ability to stop your evil plans by spelling them out to me.

Ekans: If we have the cover of a rescue team, we can get away with so much more!

Well, I guess I can see that. It might be a better plan if you were to, say, keep it a secret.

Medicham: We have our eyes on world domination~♪

…Um?

Cherithe: Wha… World domination?!

I concur.

Gengar: Kekeh! You heard right! That’s why we’re raking in the cash and adding to our gang!

Apparently, business isn’t very good if you have to resort to stealing job offers.

Speaking of which, I can see that plan falling apart. “Hi, thanks for rescuing me, but why do you have my job offer when I mailed it to Joat and Cherithe?”

I mean, seriously, how else would they have gotten that letter, aside from theft?

…Oh, right.

Gengar: The world will be ours!

…Is that the extent of your plan? Because, if so, I think you may not have thought this all the way through.

Gengar: The rescue team of evil! Team Meanies is who we are!

Is that actually the name on your badge? Because that might explain the lack of job offers.

	Gengar: See you around! Kekeh!
	Cherithe: Now wait just a second!
	Cherithe: …They took off.

Aw, maaan… Now we might actually have to leave our house in order to get job offers!

Cherithe: What an unbelievable bunch.

I know I certainly have a hard time believing it.

You don’t say.

Cherithe: They took everything!

They even took the newspaper, as a Medicham snack.

Oh hey, the Pelipper of Plot Convenience!

Cherithe: We’re in luck! Pelipper delivered some mail! We can go on rescue missions again with this.

…Does the bulletin board no longer exist or something?

Cherithe: But those guys… They’d better not try anything if we see them again.

As a note, as a Gengar, the leader is at least level 25. We have a while to go before we reach that level. Or we could give Malchoir about five more minutes of training.

Er, wait, Malchoir is Normal-type and thus has trouble hitting Ghost-types, never mind…

For that matter, Gengar also requires trading to get to that stage. How does that work, in this setting?

Sorry, Cherithe, no rescue job offers here, just someone hitting on me.

Oh.

Well, to be fair, this one’s more plausible than Plusle’s plight, at least.

Anyway, one bout of shopping about for a few friend areas, storing and withdrawing items, and getting more jobs from this “bulletin board” thing that we apparently keep forgetting exists (on which I only found one other job in Mt. Steel)…

Well, I’m glad I wasn’t around to hear what a worried Magnemite sounds like.

I wonder what makes that specific bit of grass so special.

Onward we go!

…Or not.

Alright, well then, I suppose I shall drop Tesla. It kinda pains me to do so, a bit, actually, but, as pointed out before, we already have an electric type.

Also, I like cute things, and Malchoir wins on that front.

Naturally.

Even taking the Growl into consideration, that is one heck of a damage gap. Why am I leader, again?

Ah, right.

Ooh, hey, again! Maybe there is hope yet for my leveling rate!

Well, sort of.

I think I have found someone more fragile than me. I mean, this is the third time in critical HP this dungeon. And he used a Reviver Seed the first time.

Still puts my offensive abilities to shame, though.

Okay, to be fair, that may be partially due to me setting his AI to “Go After Foes,” but if I don’t do that for my party, it tends to result in only one ally getting near the enemy, with the rest not taking the leap of logic to, say, take a step forward to get to the enemy.

I have been finding a lot of white and orange gummies in these dungeons, but I do not think I have once seen any other type. Why is that?

The way Pincer is laying on its front an raising and lowering its body makes it look less like it is sleeping and more like it is panting and barely staying conscious after receiving a beating, soon to receive its second wind and defeat its foes using strength, determination, a lot of shouting, and regrettable fashion decisions.

…Or that.

Though, I am a touch disappointed at the lack of recruitment on Pincer. While it’s not one of my favorites, it still holds a place in my little gum heart, because it was my first bug-catching contest entry, my first victory in said contest, and, since then, a part of the roster for a fair chunk of Pokémon Gold. Along with Butterfree, Raticate, Pidgeot… I really have a thing for the underdog, don’t I?

…Did Malchoir seriously only gain one level during all of this?

Zephyrai went up in rank from the Normal Rank to the Bronze Rank!

Woo!

I must admit, that genuinely does feel fairly nice. Even if Bronze still isn’t exactly all that impressive-sounding.

Sadly, Cherithe gives no response to that. I wanted to see her reaction. I would imagine it would be quite adorable!

Joat · September 4, 2018, 4:05am

The next morning…

??? Joat! Cherithe!

Cherithe: Huh? What was that?

And where are your parents?

	Caterpie: Please! Please help my friend!
	Cherithe: What’s the matter?
	Caterpie: I was playing with my friend Metapod…

How?

Caterpie: But Metapod got lost in the woods… He’s still lost out there…

Don’t worry; I doubt he went very far.

???: Oh, I see, I see! That does sound bad! Kekeke!

Oh geez…

How long were you guys watching us?

	Gengar: Have no fear! We’re here to save your chum Metapod.
	Cherithe: Hold on! Caterpie came to us for help!
	Gengar: Keh! You think you can do this rescue with your amateur-level skills?

You have to get jobs by stealing them, and you saw us as a threat even when we were Normal Rank. Even taking into consideration that a ghost-type has reason to fear a dark-type, I have doubts about your rank.

For that matter, it’s a basic search-and-rescue in a random forest. This is not exactly the most daunting task, especially for, say, someone with a heightened sense of smell.

Cherithe: What did you say?!

Normally I would take this as insulted, but given how Cherithe has been doing on perception so far…

Gengar: It doesn’t matter who does the rescuing, see?

You state we are not up to the task of doing the deed, then you state it does not matter who does the deed.

Gengar: The guy that does the rescuing gets to be the hero.

…And then you go on to speak of why it matters who does the deed.

	Gengar: Listen, Caterpie. How about we do this? How about you give the reward to the team that brings back your chum first?
	Caterpie: But I… I don’t have any money…
	Gengar: Oh, don’t worry about that, my little friend! I’m sure we can persuade your parents to reward us with interest afterward, kekeh!

A few things:

His parents have no legal obligation to give you a reward. Yes, you could try to force them into it, but they would either report you, or if you try to “silence” them, others may notice their disappearance. The only way to guarantee it is to make an agreement in advance. Preferably in writing, provided Medicham doesn’t eat it.
For that matter, why the Caterpie’s parents? Why not the Metapod’s parents? I don’t have hard numbers, but I’m pretty sure that, in general, a parent would be willing to pay more for their own child’s return than for their child’s friend’s return.
Punctuating an agreement with evil laughter is not good for public relations.
Interest does not work that way.

Gengar: Oh, yeah. You can even join our team. There’s an offer you can’t refuse.

Does this Caterpie really seem like the fighting sort?

Gengar: When you join us, Caterpie, we’ll let you be a big wheel in Team Meanies, kekekeke!

I know they are trying to sow discord, but if I were trying to take over the world, I would be more picky about who I put in a position of power within my ranks. I could see them recruiting the Caterpie as a grunt, because an evil empire needs a vast army, but anything beyond that…

Gengar: That’s the deal, Cherithe. The first to rescue wins!

I concur, Caterpie.

Cherithe: Don’t worry. We’ll save your friend first. Joat! Let’s get going!

Indeed! But first, some preparations.

They addressed that, and said that would go to your parents.

Caterpie: I don’t want to join those Meanies…

I’d bring up child labor laws, but I imagine the default age for the protagonist is about 10 or so, so never mind.

Caterpie: Please, Joat, help us…

Don’t worry, Caterpie. We’ll save you from their complete lack of understanding of how agreements work.

Anyway, first some shopping!

Good heavens, I have a lot of rocks!

Sounds like the best place to go play with a friend without any form of parental supervision, to me.

You know it’s sinister because of the… sinister mushrooms, I guess?

Cherithe: Gengar’s gang should be in there already. We need to hurry.

Follow my nose!

Woo! Having a portable way to restore all PP is a helpful thing.

On another note, while I personally have not been too impressed with the soundtrack thus far (it’s not bad, mind, but not great), I must admit that the track that plays here is fairly nice and helps set the tone.

…DANGIT MALCHOIR, THAT’S MY THING!

Still, I must admit, it’s an okay move, so I guess dropping Sand-Attack for it. Basically, it allows the user to nullify enemy evasion boosts and hit Ghost-types with Normal- and Fighting-type moves.

That was over half of his hit points.

Huh. For once, I don’t feel super-fragile.

As the group ventures deeper into the forest, the field of view is lessened. Nice touch.

I may perhaps be regretting my decision to let Malchoir use this move at will. The AI has no concept of when is appropriate for it.

At long last, another variety!

Still not favoring dark, though…

Of course he did.

Woo! I finally have a full moveset!

Also, it’s about time I actually got a dark-type move. This one’s also just plain more powerful than Tackle, though it has a lower PP count to match.

I think this is the first time that’s been relevant.

Sure, why not? Not exactly one of my favorites, but oh well. I shan’t be picky!

Because Ledyba’s white ball things and color scheme kinda remind me of Pulseman. Rather appropriate, given that game, too, was made by Game Freak.

Given his low level and the high risk of losing him if he gets knocked out, best to keep him on the defensive.

Wow, two-hit paralysis combo, on Cherithe and I…

And quite unfortunate, when it triggers on the leader, in a hallway.

It begins.

I feel validated a bit, on the name choice.

You’ll enjoy Malchoir, then.

One Sky Gummi later, because Candy = Brains.

No room, so I may as well eat it.

Well, this could be a bother. But at least the light level is up again, for whatever reason. But now we have the introduction of water.

Sinister water.

Or they could go down quite quickly and easily.

Two things to note with that log. One, Malchoir leveled up because of course he did, and two, it’s quite nice how much more damage I am doing now that I have a better move.

…

Double Team is tempting, but it’s defensive and Cherithe is already tanky enough without it.

Note the floor number. And Metapod is not on this floor, so this means they were playing even deeper in.

Caterpie’s parents are the worst parents ever.

Now would be a good time to run, Scyther.

Ow.

When I first learned of Hoothoot, I was simultaneously pleased there was an owl Pokémon and disappointed that it looks so silly and non-cute to me.

Cherithe seriously ended up way over there.

She also keeps trying to use electric-type moves which do not affect it.

I have no words.

I finally got her to finish the fight by turning off every move she has PP for.

Honestly, it’s so much better if it is not in a hallway. The rest of us can help, in this case.

Good heavens, it’s so loooong…

Oh no, whatever shall I dooo…

I mean, using the normal attack is most of what I’ve been doing, so not much worry here. And plus, I have items to use as well.

Oh. That makes it even less scary.

Paralysis blocks any attacking, but apparently that does not include throwing rocks. Loophole abuse!

I did not really need to do that, but I did it anyway, just to show how little I care about Encore.

They really love to target me, specifically, with that, it seems.

To state it mildly.

Cherithe: I wonder if Metapod is ahead…

???: Hold it right there!

You got a head start and Gengar is presumably a higher level than us. Why are you not a long way ahead by now?

	Gengar: So, for you to go ahead… Well, we can’t let that happen.
	Cherithe: Wh-what!

You are surprised, Cherithe?

Cherithe: Hey, Gengar! Why do you always mess with us?

I was tempted to do a captain obvious joke here, then I remembered that such is actually a legitimate question. Seriously, why us, specifically?

Medicham: Oh? Didn’t we tell you? Our aim is world domination~♪

Well, yes, you did, and I still have yet to discern what made you think it was a good idea to tell us that.

Ekans: Caterpie’s mama will give us a generous reward…

How do you know?

Ekans: And Caterpie will join us too… That brings us closer to our goal.

Like, seriously, am I missing something? Did these guys read some ancient prophecy where that Caterpie is The One?

Gengar: Keke! And for that, your lot is in the way! So sorry to say, but your party’s over right here and now!

…Does that mean no cake?

Gengar: Say good-bye, Cherithe!

…I’m feeling a bit left out, here.

Though, to be fair, Cherithe is the more talkative one who’s actually, y’know speaking to them. That, and she’s probably the bigger threat.

It makes no sense for that to work, but I do not care.

Behold my biting power and despair!

That said, I should probably take out that Medicham before I or Malchoir receive a super-effective Medicham fighting move to the face.

…That works, too, actually.

I might be a bit more intimidated by that threat if our group had taken a single point of damage during that fight.

???: Um, excuse me…

Metapod just bounced up to us.

My mind is a bit blown, but hey, that makes the premise of this quest make more sense, at least.

It also makes the world a whole lot less sad for Metapod. I mean, keep in mind that, for who-knows-how-long, possibly forever for all anyone knows, nobody can evolve.

	Metapod: Did you maybe come looking for me?
	Cherithe: You must be Metapod.

That is a safe guess.

	Cherithe: Let’s get you home. Caterpie was worried about you.
	Metapod: Yay!

“Hooray for making my friend worried!”

Also, that has got to be the most bored-looking, or possibly angry-looking, “Yay!” I have ever seen.

	Metapod: Thank you, Caterpie!
	Caterpie: And thank you, Cherithe and Joat!

And not Malchoir and Pulse, apparently.

Caterpie: But I don’t have any money…

The sweat drop that came before that indicates nervousness at being unable to fulfill an expectation, even though you made it quite clear in advance that you have no money.

	Cherithe: On, no, no. We don’t need a reward.
	Cherithe: We’re happy to see that Metapod is back safe and sound.
	Caterpie: … Cool…

Why is this a surprise? You knew in advance that we knew in advance that you had no method of payment.

Caterpie: You’re even more cool than I thought!

Wait, if you didn’t think we were that generous, why did you come here?

	Caterpie: I want to go on rescues when I grow up!
	Cherithe: Hahaha! That would be great! Chase that dream!

Just… Don’t be surprised if it leads to a lot of bruises. Trust me on this one.

Cherithe: I have an idea! Joat, we should do something with this place.

Like put in some window panes?

Cherithe: We should make a proper rescue team base here. Something impressive.

…Does this mean we have to get rid of the hay beds?

	Caterpie: That’s cool! A rescue team base is cool! I want to work here when I grow up!
	Metapod: Me too! Me too!
	Cherithe: Haha! That’s what we’ll do!
	Cherithe: Let’s work hard and build our own rescue base!

I get the feeling the biped among us may be doing most of the work, if it’s a DIY project.

	Metapod: Joat and Cherithe, thank you again!
	Cherithe: OK, bye! Be careful going home.

And so, the two depart.

Cherithe: Sigh… Well, we ended up working for free, but that was the right thing to do

I think you’re forgetting all the free stuff we find on the ground. I haven’t run the numbers, but I imagine that probably adds up to more than the rewards themselves, on average.

Cherithe: And we got to show Gengar’s team a thing or two, so it’s all good!

For example, that opening a fight by throwing rocks is a highly effective tactic, even against ghosts. Somehow.

Cherithe: That was a tiring day. Let’s do more good tomorrow! See you!

More tiring from the walking than the battle at the end, admittedly.

CommanderKeene · September 4, 2018, 4:26am

Rock damage works against Ghosts just fine, IIRC. It’s just Normal and Fighting damage that doesn’t.

Joat · September 5, 2018, 3:00pm

Indeed, that is true. So Gravelrocks working here make as much sense as Rock-type damage working here. Which is to say, still none. But hey, game balance.

Now I’m imagining a variant of Ghostbusters where they pelt the ghosts with rocks until they surrender.

CommanderKeene · September 5, 2018, 9:45pm

IIRC, in this game Ghost Pokemon can’t walk through walls or anything, either. What if Ghost Pokemon can only phase through flesh? That still causes problems for a few attacks, like Bite and Crunch, but rocks and leaves still hurting them now suddenly makes sense.

Joat · September 7, 2018, 6:28pm

The next morning…

???: Umm… Hello?

Cherithe: Huh? Who could that be?

We should really install a sign. Or maybe plant some flowers in the shape of the word “Zephyrai.” That would be lovely.

Cherithe: Huh? That’s right… Huh? Wait, aren’t you…

	Cherithe: I remember now! Jumpluff, we saw you in Pokémon Square. We watched Shiftry agreeing to take on your rescue job.
	Jumpluff: Yes. But Shiftry… He hasn’t come back yet from the rescue mission.

And yet, you feel we would be a good rescue team to call for backup. Either rescue teams around here are more sparse than I thought and thus we’re the only backup on paw at the time (which would admittedly explain Team Meanies’ fixation on us) or I am quite bewildered as to how Shiftry’s team gets hired for anything ever if we’re considered the next step up and they require an exorbitant fee.

	Cherithe: Are you serious?!
	Jumpluff: Our friend Jumpluff got wedged between some rocks. We Jumpluff can go anywhere if we can catch a wind, but… Even though the skies are filled with thunderclouds, for some odd reason, the winds haven’t blown.
	Cherithe: Not even a breeze? That is strange…

I know there have been a lot of disasters lately, I did not suspect “unusually calm weather” would be among them.

	Jumpluff: Shiftry’s leafy fans can whip up powerful winds. We thought Shiftry’s wind would be able to dislodge our friend, but…
	Cherithe: But Shiftry hasn’t returned…? It doesn’t sound like all that challenging of a rescue mission… That is strange…
	Cherithe: Oh? That’s the spirit, Joat. Your expression tells me you’re ready.

Funnily enough, Cherithe is right, given Poochyena’s default expression on its sprite in this game looks rather determined. And/or angry. Adorably angry.

	Cherithe: OK, then! We’ll go look for them!
	Jumpluff: R-really? Thank you!
	Cherithe: No problem! You can count on us!
	Cherithe: Let’s go, Joat!
	Jumpluff: My friend is stuck in a place called Silent Chasm. I hate to burden you, but you’re our only hope.

Help us, Puppy-Wan.

Anyway, onward to town!

Bellsprout: I’m afraid Shiftry’s team is always about the money. They went out on that rescue only because Alakazam told them to… I don’t think they were very entheusiastic about it.

I do believe that was quite evident, yes.

Lombre: We heard.

“We hear all things.”

Lombre: Shiftry hasn’t returned? I wonder… Did Shiftry maybe just run off?

I somehow doubt that would be good for team credibility.

Anyway, some errands around town later, let us gather our team!

Like a true superhero would.

Also, it’s a tree with glowy spots. Which is quite beautiful and cool. And also possibly like they host some alien parasitic goo or something.

Or maybe it’s not a tree? Huh. That said, the fact that you can climb a bit of the way up is a nice touch!

I think he’s going through giant magic sword withdrawal.

And that makes a full team of four! Too much for the quest itself, perhaps, but just enough for something I have been neglecting…

Oh, wow, that is a significantly expanded list.

I suppose we may as well go ahead and go with the water maze first, though we must be careful, because

Screenshot from Pulseman

…Really? I mean, the other missions, I understand, but is it even possible to recruit members from the dojo? Unless I am mistaken and it actually is, why do I need to have that slot open?

And so, removing Malchoir from active duty. Sure, Malchoir is cute, and “Water can destroy Pulseman,” but apparently everything can destroy Malchoir, so…

Ow.

I think Makuhita is trying desperately to keep a straight face, at this point.

I think she’ll be fine.

Tactically speaking, confusion on the enemy is advantageous, but it still does not mean that it is a tad annoying when the enemy will simply not hold still.

Oooof course.

Not the best place to move, Cherithe.

Also, again, of course.

Also, there are other water Pokémon you intend to use aside from Polywag, right game?

…Apparently not.

And without a single level up, actually.

Anyway, onward to the mission!

Then why are you standing so close to the edge?

	Cherithe: Your friend Jumpluff is lost deep in this canyon?
	Jumpluff: Yes… I’m sorry to ask, but please help.

Didn’t we already accept? I mean, that’s why we’re here, right?

	Cherithe: It’ll be fine. Let’s go, Joat!
	Jumpluff: …Wait!
	Cherithe: Yes? What is it?
	Jumpluff: There’s something I forgot to mention… This canyon is known as the Silent Chasm, but… It’s rumored that an amazing monster sleeps here.

Ah yes, I can see why this detail would have been so forgettable. And why you also evidently forgot to tell Shiftry’s team. And probably why Shiftry’s team hasn’t returned.

Cherithe: M…monster?!

Perhaps even a… Pocket Monster? *dodges tomato*

Jumpluff: Yes, but! It’s only folklore!

If you don’t believe it, why did you bring it up?

	Jumpluff: It’s also true that Shiftry hasn’t returned… I just thought I should let you know…
	Cherithe: Owowow! My stomach! It hurts…

It seems consumption of one’s own pride gives one indigestion.

Jumpluff: Oh! What’s wrong?!

Don’t worry. Cherithe is just being yellow-bellied. *leaps behind cover to avoid tomato hailstorm*

Cherithe: It’s my stomach! It suddenly cramped up! Owowow…

This is absolutely adorable. I want my own Pika-cherithe.

	Cherithe: I think my breakfast was spoiled or something…
	Cherithe: Say, Joat, you’re feeling sick too, aren’t you?

If I were Jumpluff, I would be able to call that bluff in a heartbeat. Yes, true, it is reasonable to assume that Joat and Cherithe had, if not the same breakfast, food from the same source, given they do their shopping together. However, given the phrasing and the abrupt nature of that line, she may as well have added a loud “HINT HINT” at the end of it.

For that matter, what do Pokémon eat, in the Mystery Dungeon continuity? I mean, I doubt any Pokémon eat other Pokémon in this version of the Pokémon universe, so… do they all subsist on berries, seeds, apples, and gummies, as the mechanics suggest?

It’s rather unfortunate that my two dialogue choices in this case are “be a complete coward” and “be incredibly dense.”

	Cherithe: Huh…?
	Cherithe: What’s the matter, Joat?! I need you to back me!

I do hope Cherithe is whispering that line.

Cherithe: If you’re my partner, you need to read my cues better!

The funny thing is, the original incarnation of Cherithe (the Pathfinder character) has, in her brief time in use before the game fell apart, slain a dragon and two demons without really batting an eye.

Mind, the original was armed with various science gadgets, along with a mix between dragon scale armor, chainmail, and a fancy ballroom dress, so…

Jumpluff: Wh-why this sudden outburst, Cherithe? Don’t you have a stomachache?

…I don’t know how much brains I expected anthropomorphized cottonweed to have, but I expected more than this.

Cherithe: Uh, yes… Owowow… I guess the cramping settled down…

	Cherithe: Hahahahaha…
	Cherithe: So, anyway, you said there may be a monster. What is it like?
	Jumpluff: I don’t know very much at all… It is an old folktale. I wouldn’t know if it existed or not.
	Cherithe:OK… Well, it can’t be helped. Let’s just hope that monster doesn’t exist.
	Jumpluff: My friend Jumpluff should be around B10F. Please take care!

Well, that’s thankfully a shorter distance, this time. Even if we don’t have Malchoir’s sticky paws to help with ~~making inventory management more of a nightmare~~ restocking items.

Cherithe:OK! Gotcha! Let’s get going, Joat!

This may not be the water maze, but I think things are getting leeky in here. *dives for cover from the gum-seeking tomatoes*

Quite a nice find!

I’ll go ahead and equip it, since my offense is behind by an embarrassing amount.

And another one! This one shall go to Pulse.

…I so wish I had this when Cherithe was halfway across the floor from me and counting.

…

This is just too perfect.

Much as I would like to give a quip, considering this is not all that well-known, I suppose I should give an explanation, instead. My beloved, at the time the original version of this LP was made, was known as Red. For any who have read it, he is the one pictured in the image near the beginning of the Bunny Link to the Past LP. Though he is, nowadays, most often a kitty (roleplay-wise, not actually, obviously), he used to spend a fair while in bear form (and still occasionally does) and bears still hold a spot in his heart. It is from this form that an alternate nickname, Reddybear, was born.

Sorry, Pulse, but you’re getting removed from the main roster, it looks like. I need some time with my beloved.

His higher-offense-than-defense stats seem appropriate, for Red.

He also has an ability that is quite helpful and appreciated, but does make things a bit more complex. Which I suppose is also appropriate for Red, come to think on it.

That said, that low HP is concerning, considering that he’s lost forever if he falls before we leave the dungeon.

Tempting, considering it raises Special Attack, but the main one who would benefit from it is Cherithe, and she does not need the help, since whenever she breaks out the lightning, it tends to be a one-hit KO anyway. A Pecha Scarf seems more suited to her.

Huh. For once, an attack dealt more than minor redness and irritation to Cherithe.

And so, Reddybear’s tapestry of battle begins…

And another one…

Even if not very effective, I think this is the first time Cherithe used Thundershock and it was NOT a knockout.

…I think Reddybear got a bit overzealous.

*sigh*

Choice most definitely validated.

Right here, specifically? How do you know? On this floor, perhaps, but I do not think we have a map with a big red X anywhere in our inventory…

Ve’s playing peek-a-boo, apparently.

While shivering, but still.

	Cherithe: We came for you! Are you alright?
	Jumpluff: Yes… I’m fine, but…
	Cherithe: Great! Your friend is waiting for you.

Speaking is a free action, but sadly, so is interrupting.

	Jumpluff: Shiftry is in the back…
	Cherithe: Huh? Shiftry?

“Oh yeah, the entire other half of our mission!”

Cherithe: Let’s go!

If someone is unconscious for any reason other than sleep, shouting to them is unlikely to work.

Then again, neither is a bucket of water, I imagine, but that doesn’t stop that from working in most media.

Shiftry: …Urrrgh. Forget about me…

Cherithe apparently already did, before.

Shiftry: Get away from here!

Is ve going to turn into a zombie?

Cherithe: Get… Get away?!

Dangit, Dumbledore!

???: Gyaoooooh!

Shiftry: It’s coming!

Oh no, anything but… it!

???: Move aside, you!

Good sir, if you would turn on the lights, that would help. Otherwise, I may have a hard time ensuring that “aside” does not translate to “right into you.”

???: He dared to disturb my sleep!

Oh geez, it’s Skarmory…

???: I have no mercy for meddlers! And that includes you!

Cherithe: Shi-Shiftry’s gone!

Then the lights turn off again and another Pokémon is gone, and then it repeats until it turns out the butler was the murderer.

Zapdos: I am Zapdos! The embodiment of lightning! If you wish to save Shiftry, then scale Mt. Thunder!

Why are you not just attacking us here? If ve doesn’t want to be disturbed, why is ve setting verself up to be disturbed again later on?

Cherithe: Zapdos… So that’s the legendary monster…

Good thing we don’t have to worry about type disadvantages with our party, at least.

Mood whiplash!

	Jumpluff: But even though I’m safe, Shiftry is still in trouble…
	Cherithe: Please tell us. Exactly what happened?
	Jumpluff: …Yes… Shiftry whipped up winds with his fans… and released me from between the rocks. But those winds tore a thundercloud in two… and that was when that monster appeared in the sky.
	Cherithe: That monster… It said it was Zapdos…

???: Did you say Zapdos?

“That’s the secret word!”

I’d give another joke about eavesdropping, but with them, I can see it a bit more, given we live at apparently the edge of town and they have good reason to be coming and going a lot.

Alakazam: Zapdos…

“My arch-nemesis…”

Alakazam: It’s one of the legendary bird Pokémon. I heard it had been sleeping a long time…

From where, exactly? Nobody could see it, apparently. Did ve post it on Facepoké?

	Cherithe: So Shiftry woke it up?
	Alakazam: No. Shiftry’s winds were only the trigger. To begin with, the absence of winds there was unnatural.

If it’s normally riddled with potentially cloud-destroying winds, why did Zapdos feel that would be a good napping spot, again?

Alakazam: It must have been caused by the rash of natural disasters recently. Zapdos is enraged from having been awoken from its sleep.

Well, maybe if we get a really big cup and a whole lot of coffee…

	Tyranitar: But Zapdos won’t be easy. His electric attacks are wicked nasty.
	Alakazam: I know that. We will need to be cautious.
	Cherithe: We’ll go too! We’ll help Shiftry!
	Alakazam: What?! That is dangerous!

I hate to be a buzzkill, but… yeah, pretty much.

I mean, sure, it’s dangerous for them, too, but the difference is, they’re Gold Rank, and we’re… not.

	Alakazam: Zapdos is powerful. It will be too much for your skill level.
	Cherithe: Hey! We’re not that weak!

“We”?

Okay, I may be selling myself a bit short, at this point. I really have been feeling a fair bit more powerful since I got that second offensive move and thus didn’t have to use PP attacks so rarely. Still, though, that doesn’t change the fact that I’m kiiinda squishy.

I think the game is confusing “fear” with “cowardice.” A common mistake, really. Personally, in this situation, I would like to think I would step up to the task. But I’d be terrified while doing it. And the rest of the missions, for that matter.

Did I mention I don’t like pain? Because… I don’t like pain. Pain hurts.

Charizard: Have you ever been hit with an electric blast?

Honestly, I don’t think I recall being hit by any electric-type moves. I got decimated with a green onion stalk, though! Is that close enough?

Don’t worry! I have rocks!

Tyranitar: Zapdos is wickedly tough!

At 1’ length, that’s about all I would qualify as.

Cherithe: We’re a rescue team too!

Just… maybe a slightly lower rank.

	Cherithe: We want to help Shiftry!
	Alakazam: … Fine. I see that you have courage.

“Maybe not brains, but…”

	Cherithe: Yes!
	Alakazam: Our two teams should make our ways separately through Mt. Thunder. We will go when we have geared up for battle. Knowing how strong our opponent is, we have no choice but to be cautious. You should make way for Mt. Thunder only when you are fully prepared.

I’ll go get my finest rocks!

	Alakazam: Our objective is to rescue Shiftry! Let us find success!
	Cherithe: Yes! I’m getting excited over this!

Now that sounds like the Pathfinder Cherithe I know!

Except… wait. Weren’t you cowering earlier, when there was only maybe a monster? Yet now that you know there is, you’re all gung-ho?

Cherithe: Joat! Let’s do our best!

YEEEEAH!

Joat · September 7, 2018, 6:34pm

Actually, that’s not true, which makes Ghost-types incredibly annoying in this game.

CommanderKeene · September 8, 2018, 5:50am

“Unusually calm weather” also ends up becoming a problem in Dragon Quest 7 for a while, and for much the same reason.

It’s like a sissy-slap fight where nobody’s doing any damage.

Joat · September 9, 2018, 1:25pm

Y’know how a storm tends to brew when the main characters of a work of fiction are about to get into a big, epic fight?

Considering the unusually calm weather, I suppose this was inevitable, really.

I wonder if that’s why it was an issue in DQ7. The weather was too calm and ruined everyone’s epic fight scenes. So the party thus has to go on an epic adventure to, uh… be able have epic adventures again.

That’s how logic works, right?

Joat · September 11, 2018, 3:00am

Part 11: Wherein Joat finally gets even.

The next morning…

Cherithe: OK… We should be heading to Mt. Thunder to do the Shiftry rescue, right? But Alakazam said that we should be properly prepared before we try…

Just like we do before every mission, yes.

Cherithe: What should we do? We can go to Mt Thunder right now or later. It’s up to you. But anyway, let’s do our best like always!

Oh… Oh good heavens! I didn’t know where Red was going to end up, but I certainly hoped it wouldn’t look so… MS Paint.

Contemplating cuddles?

Anyway, back to town!

	Snubbull: I’m glad to see you’re back safe.
	Jumpluff: Thank you. But Shiftry is in trouble now… Shiftry came and rescued me…
	Other Jumpluff: I hope he is safe…

That reminds me. He didn’t go alone, right? He had two others with him. What happened to them?

Lombre: Shiftry was abducted? That’s shocking news!

Now it’s my turn. *grabs a tomato*

Bellsprout: Is that right… Shiftry was taken to Mt. Thunder… I wonder what that place is like? It sounds rather horrible?

It also sounds like where Zapdos would logically have been more likely to rest, but oh well. Maybe the constant thunder was too much even for ver to sleep through?

Bellsprout: Oh? Me? I couldn’t possible go rescue him.

…Implying that we honestly asked ver to do so?

Anyway, I just remembered, we need to give Reddybear some brain-gummies!

Even as a bear, he still has that mischievous kitty grin…

Reddybear’s IQ helped it learn how to use PP Checker!

Reddybear’s IQ helped it learn how to use Efficiency Expert!

This one causes the user to prioritize lower-HP targets. It is mutually exclusive with Dedicated Traveler.

Anyway, let’s do some appropriate training and do the Electric Maze, this time!

One of Reddybear’s main attacks is Lick.

That is both adorable and appropriate.

…

Guys.

My level is even with Cherithe’s.

MY LEVEL IS EVEN WITH CHERITHE’S!

Eeee! happy-dances

And then we took zero damage from the fight. Heck, I even no-sold an attack. Me, of all Pokémon!

But sadly, Red did not level up here.

It is time.

Even if Reddybear is still only level 10.

Cherithe: I wonder… Is Alakazam’s team already on the way?

Maybe we should have specified a time or something.

	Cherithe: Zapdos… It sounds very tough…
	Cherithe: Brr… I’m shaking…
	Cherithe: I can’t be scared now. Joat, let’s try our best!

“Oh, and Reddybear, too, I guess.”

I must say, I like the music here, too. Subtle, yet suitably climactic.

Oft-underappreciated, but useful!

Just… too bad that I had to get poisoned, without any berries left to cure it, in order to recruit him.

My first idea was to nickname him “Burger King,” but no, I am not so cruel.

The once and future Nidoking.

Okay, maybe just future.

Normally, I would explore more of the floor, but poison is a meanie.

Weee…

Also, that thing at the bottom of the screen is a Pidgeotto. Might I suggest a different place to call home?

…How did that make it past QA?

Woo! At long last!

Alas, Reddybear, this does not bode well for your experience rate.

Woo…

Cherithe is still not quite done being ahead, though.

Alas, items do not appear on the sprites, so we cannot even use it for fashion. Still, money is nice!

Oh, wow, that is quite interesting!

Wow! This is actually happening to me, for once!

This is a bit bittersweet, in a way. Yes, I now have it and it is more appropriate for me than for Malchoir, but at the same time… this is REALLY situational.

Then again, in most cases where I would use Howl, I would otherwise be able to use either Sand Attack or a rock, so I suppose I shall go ahead and get rid of Howl, especially since I have a normal-type in the party.

He even sounds noble upon level-up! “I am most pleased, good sir.”

The second time… To be fair, this time, he was forced to fight Ampharos alone, because we were flanked in a hallway. Get Away does not exactly help, there.

Those are always quite nice!

…Um?

Well, okay, then. I guess that is a sign of what is to come.

Though, this non-grid-movement section also probably means we’ll be starting after this with full PP!

Nah, I think I’ll just live here.

The peak, in itself, is a dungeon. Lovely. Nice music, mind, but still…

It’s a good thing I found so many apples earlier, because otherwise, this would be… bothersome.

…Honestly, I am neither surprised nor heartbroken. Arthur honestly did more to decimate my Reviver Seed stock than to contribute in battle. His final moments were spent using Focus Energy and Leer.

Honestly, best to restart, at this point, from the last save point.

The king lives again!

Man, I am burning through my rock supply…

This is quite difficult, really. With only two damaging moves available, I need to be really conservative with them, and, well, I am playing as Poochyena and I have two rather under-leveled party members with me.

Tempting though the stairway is, we clearly are in desperate need of items and especially experience. I do think that, upon returning to town, I really should finish up the rest of the dojo maps. Reddybear needs a lot more training.

Arthur nearly fell yet again. Oy…

Yet, sometimes, he earns his place on the throne.

Only sometimes, though.

Oh! So, the game decided to have mercy on me for once, and made the third floor the destination.

Cherithe: Hey! Zapdos! Where are you?!

For that matter, where is Shiftry?

Or Alakazam? I mean, there’s not much ambiguity as to which way the summit is. Then again, for all we know, they have yet to even set out.

Yeah, we probably should have agreed on a specific time.

Or, y’know, traveled in one big group, because there’s no real reason not to. It’s not exactly a “split up and search” situation, here. We know exactly where our destination is.

	Cherithe: We came to rescue Shiftry! Come out!
	Zapdos: Gyaooooh!

You act as if you did not expect that.

Cherithe, why are you cowering behind me? That’s like a tank cowering behind an infantryman.

Cherithe: Not scared… You don’t frighten me!

Cherithe, you are the one who has the least to fear from Zapdos’ damage output.

Cherithe: Hey, Zapdos! Release Shiftry! We’re a Pokémon rescue team!

I doubt that alone will be very intimidating to a legendary.

Zapdos: You must be determined, to utter such words. Then you shall answer… to my great and righteous fury!

I would normally open with a rock, but Cherithe is right in melee range. So, going in!

Well, um… ouch in sympathy. That Arthur did not go down immediately is quite fortunate.

Again, I think we may be a bit under-leveled.

Ow.

…Well said.

5,000 IQ, ladies and gentleman!

Zapdos: Urrggh! Uwoah!

…Quite.

Zapdos: Enough! That’s enough fighting. I’ve calmed down. Take Shiftry back. You kids… You’ve impressed me.

You impressed me, too! I think this is the first boss battle that actually dealt damage to us. Bravo!

Zapdos: But… Things won’t be this easy next time.

He intends to attack us again, apparently. Why, though, if ve’s calmed down? Especially since ve is clearly cognizant that ve is attacking children.

Zapdos: I will go all out next time, so you’d best be prepared!

Bravo for holding back, but still, that’s pretty faint praise.

Zapdos: Until then, you’d better hone your skills!

I failed to capture the beam that Shiftry teleported in by.

Legendary or no… Zapdos can do that?

	Cherithe: Look! There’s Shiftry!
	Charizard: Are you OK?
	Shiftry: Ungh… Uh, yeah… Somehow, I am…

After all we went through, you’d better be.

	Cherithe: I’m glad you’re safe!
	Tyranitar: But that was an eye-opener. Driving off that Zapdos.
	Charizard: I agree. You’re awfully strong for a plain Poochyena.

Speaking of faint praise…

Alakazam: … I sensed it when we first met…

And yet you did not bring it up.

Alakazam: Perhaps… You aren’t a Pokémon, are you?

Well, you are using present-tense, so you are incorrect. Even if you meant past-tense, or in terms of the soul, well…

Cherithe: Wow! How can you tell that?!

It’s like he’s psychic or something!

	Cherithe: But you’re right. Joat isn’t a Pokémon. Joat is a human.
	Shiftry: What?!
	Charizard: A human?!
	Tyranitar: Is that possible? Can something like that happen?

“It happened one morning - a boy with extrasensory powers awoke in bed transformed into Kadabra.” – FireRed Pokédex entry on Kadabra.

Cherithe: Joat doesn’t understand very much, either.

No “about this phenomenon” qualifier on that, Cherithe?

Cherithe: Joat woke up one morning here as a Pokémon…

Oh right, I guess that morning kinda gives her every right to imply I may not be the sharpest sort.

Cherithe: …And doesn’t remember anything about being a human.

Wait, did I miss something? When did that come up? Like, seriously, that’s a pretty big plot detail to wait until just now to bring up.

Actually, upon reflection, I suppose there is the line “I don’t remember anything”, but I think I can hardly be blamed for mentally appending “about how I got here”, given the context under which it was said.

Cherithe: Oh wait! Lombre said something in the square! He said Alakazam knows everything! Alakazam, could you figure out why Joat became a Pokémon?

If we’re going by what Lombre said, shouldn’t he already know?

	Alakazam: … No… I can’t determine that.
	Cherithe: Oh… I thought you would know…
	Alakazam: However… There is a way for unveiling the truth.

Odd syntax, there.

	Cherithe: Oh, really? How?
	Alakazam: Make way to the Hill of the Ancients.

There, you must defend it against an enemy group of Pokémon with an Ancient of their own.

Alakazam: There, you will find a Pokémon that stares into the sun all day…

“And somehow all night. We’re still trying to figure that one out.”

Alakazam: A Pokémon who is said to see into the future.

Apparently, the future is bright.

Alakazam: Xatu is his name.

Well, that narrows it down.

	Alakazam: He should shed some light on your puzzling friend.
	Cherithe: OK! So we should go see Xatu. Joat, let’s go! Off to the Hill of the Ancients! We can’t waste any time! Let’s go back quick! Shiftry, you too. Let’s hurry back.
	Shiftry: Uh… Yeah… I guess we should…

Cherithe: Joat!

Did I just space out there, or something?

Cherithe: Don’t just stand there. Let’s go home.

I should certainly hope so, by this point.

	Charizard: I don’t think you’re completely ignorant about this. … You know something, don’t you?
	Alakazam: There is something that concerns me. But it should go unspoken for now.

“At least until we’re off-camera and the player can’t hear us.”

Alakazam: …For their sake…

Oh, by the way, we got zero points for that rescue.

Y’know, the one where we took down Zapdos.

Joat · September 13, 2018, 4:20pm

The next morning…

Cherithe: Yesterday, I did some checking around. It turns out that the Hill of the Ancients is apparently in the Great Canyon. We should go there right away! Off to the Great Canyon!

Right! But first, we need to train.

…A lot.

I imagine this decision would have more emotional weight if the player even knew.

This clarifies why the player was not told in advance, but this is still clunky, since the player still did not know the available questions.

Anyway, I suppose I shall go with the second.

…It’s a valid question.

…What?

Like, seriously, who else? I mean, Reddybear certainly never inquired about it.

Neither of these responses make any sense. I’ll just go with the second one. That’s more likely to get me an answer, I imagine.

Cherithe: Someone else? Come on, what do you think I am? We’re friends, aren’t we, Joat?

Oh, it’s a cover story sort of thing.

…Does this mean that the game is shipping the protagonist with the partner? Rather bold, considering the game knows the gender of only the protagonist. That the two are opposite genders is kinda luck of the draw, in this case.

Also, Joat and Reddybear OTP.

Cherithe: I want to do my best because it’s for you, Joat. That’s what this is about. So, as always, let’s try our best to do well!

Wait, so this is about friendship more than saving others? I mean, friendship is fine and all, but when we started this whole thing, we barely knew each-other.

Heck, given how little I’ve spoken, you still barely know me.

Would he be smiling if he knew he was going to be so busy today?

Jumpluff: Joat, your team is fantastic! It’s shocking to hear that you’ve beaten Zapdos!

Oooof course.

Lombre: Xatu? I wouldn’t know. There’s really a Pokémon named that?

Pretty much my reaction when I got to the Elite Four in Pokémon Gold.

Bellsprout: I must say, I’m very impressed. Your team is surprisingly courageous. It casts you in a new light!

And yet I still get no points from it.

Starting with Bug, I suppose. And I think Fighting should go last, because… yeah, type disadvantage.

Except wait, Bug has the same thing on me. Bleh. Oh well.

Choice to train validated!

Also, I have, thus far, seen Pinsir, Weedle (which I use a move for every time because I most definitely do not want to have to deal with poison), and Beedrill. There’s actually more than one, for once!

I should probably consider using moves on Beedrill, as well.

Well, uh… Thanks, Reddybear?

Sort of.

Here, though, Weedle is not much of a target, since poison would not be likely to damage the target more than once in this fight.

The opposing team made the strategic error of focus-firing Cherithe.

Yes, I dare. I may regret this…

It looks like I should be poisoned just be being here.

Though, that may be partially due to me playing Pokémon Conquest before this.

We somehow managed to get through these floors without being poisoned once. Even considering Cherithe’s Pecha Scarf, quite impressive.

Well, that was a lovely brief thing while it lasted. At least the poison itself was even more brief, due to a gift from my beloved.

And next, the Grass Maze!

I think they could have made the Grass Maze more, well… grassy.

…!

I SURPASSED CHERITHE!

Why does there have to be enemies around? I cannot cuddle and fight at the same tiiiime!

She’s not exactly falling behind quite yet.

Well, now come the painful ones.

Going with Steel next, which two of us have some way to bypass the defenses of, at least. Not Reddybear, though, and I don’t exactly think licking the enemy is a good idea if this place ends up being very cold.

Pffft!

Now I know how Cherithe feels.

Next, let’s rock! dodges tomato-shaped rocks

Anyway, nothing of note in that one.

Well, here goes…

…Yeah, I think I should have Reddybear do this.

GOOD HEAVENS!

Can we get some steroid testing, here?

Well, here goes. Reddybear’s still only level 12, but here’s hoping it all turns out well.

So it seems.

Cherithe: The peak is called the Hill of the Ancients.

Just in case the player forgot.

Cherithe: According to Alakazam, the Hill of the Ancients is on 13F.

Hoboy…

Cherithe: Xatu should be there. Joat, let’s do our best!

Yeah, sounds about like my best.

At least with this, there’s some way to work around it.

Lovely…

Honestly, I think I should be the one with the Pecha Scarf.

He needs this.

And so do the rest of us, honestly. Really, we’re getting destroyed, here…

How appropriate.

Very helpful, considering I am the one most getting destroyed, here.

I believe our third party member is made of glass.

But when he gets an attack in…

Interesting.

Yet another way in which rocks rock.

I think the universe just imploded.

Honestly, an idea presents itself.

Yes, I know, this reduces the amount of different types of things I can do, but as the leader, I need all the attacking moves I can get.

Eeeyup. Reddybear just got one-shotted by a non-critical, non-super-effective move.

…Yeah. I hate to say this, but we need to do some more grinding before we continue the story. Yeah, theoretically, these two might suffice, but do I really want to continue without my beloved by my side?

I’ll try to make it interesting, at least, but still, kind of a downer.

As a note, after writing the above, I went ahead and looked up recommended levels. One guide gave me the recommended level for Mt. Thunder of Lv.19, keeping in mind that is the entry level, whereas I was still under-leveled at the conclusion of the dungeon. The guide also has a similar recommendation for this dungeon, and while we are good on Joat and Cherithe… Reddybear suffers from being a late entrant. So, yeah, I will be taking the guide’s advice and grinding Reddybear up to level 19. Maybe then, he won’t go down if an enemy sneezes in his direction.

Joat · September 17, 2018, 2:08am

Well, Reddybear is awfully happy for recently having his face pounded in.

I was wondering where ve was.

Snubbull: You know what? The jobs on the Bulletin Board…

A bit late for that tutorial.

Snubbull: Oh, you already knew? That’s OK, then.

“Take me! In your arms!”

That said, not sure how smart it is to grind there , but…

Interesting. Getting a lot of TMs, lately.

As I thought, nobody in the group can even use this one.

It is nice to actually be a strong member of the team, really. Even if it does give me less to snark about.

…And then I made a mistake.

During this run, I got knocked out and, rather than just let it play out as normal, I decided to go ahead and reload from the last time it asked me whether I wished to save (since, were I playing the cartridge and that happened, I would likely have reset the game and started from my last save). Problem is, the last time I ACTUALLY saved was right after doing all the dojo stuff. I did not save at the end of that day. And there is no “undo” function when it comes to loading a save state. So… yeah. Welcome back to day 12!

Alright! A new beginning! Pokémon Mystery Delivery Service, go!

Well, that was not difficult to find.

…Huh. Well, okay, then. Not sure whether to call Farfetch’d a joke character still or not.

Well, interesting!

Funnily enough, though Farfetch’d is legendary for being a joke character, it is, more specifically, legendary for being a joke character by the standards of single-stage or final-evolution Pokémon. However, given the premise of this game, that will not be a factor for the time being. Heck, I’d probably use Farfetch’d after this if not for, well… Reddybear wins.

Don’t worry, I won’t name it “Dux.” Though I was briefly tempted, just as a sort of historical gag.

Given Farfetch’d’s legendary skill with a leek (say what you will about its power, but I’d like to see anyone else try to cut down a small tree with a green onion stalk), I feel it only fitting to name him after the greatest swordsman who ever lived.

Also, fun fact: I strongly considered using Farfetch’d for this run instead of Poochyena. I do find Farfetch’d rather charming. Like I said, I seem to favor the underdogs, in the Pokémon world. Perhaps another time, in another game.

And still one less HP than the Level 10 Spoony.

Go, Spoony! GO, GO, GO!

Woo!

I think he may lack the luck of his namesake, though.

Of course she did.

Leer? Really? That doesn’t sound so…

Screenshot from a video by Noah Antwiler

Oh.

Never mind.

Like Yoda, you are speaking.

Oh dear. At least this isn’t old-school D&D, else we’d have to roll up a new Farfetch’d.

Woo!

Thankfully, Spoony is not, in fact, too stupid to eat.

This is too perfect…

Hypocrite…

And no, I did not say for him to stay until after he had split up and would have gotten even farther away if I had not issued that command.

Separations in this game happen so oft, it seems, I am debating on whether I should even mention them, at this point.

Also, why is Farfetch’d blocked by water? He is both Flying-type and, y’know, a duck .

That was with Reddybear initially at full health.

…Yeah, multi-hit moves in this game are broken. For some reason, they deal roughly as much as a normal attack per hit . How did that get past QA testing, exactly? I mean, at least stuff like F.E.A.R. requires a very specific setup, so I can see why that would slip past, but multi-hit moves are not exactly rare.

Oh well. Victory is ours!

Got Max Elixir, 200 PoKé, and 30 rescue points.

I’m kinda sad to see Spoony leave the party. It’s nothing personal, Spoony, so do not think of this as BETRAYAL!

Joat · September 20, 2018, 6:29pm

Well, that is certainly substantial.

…

Insert predictable highly immature joke here.

They make delivery service sound so epic.

Of course he is! He got to meet Spoony in person!

A decent haul.

For some reason, me taking down Zapdos verself is not considered newsworthy. The importance of eating food is, though!

Well, that’s convenient.

He wuvs meeeee!

Sweet, sweet irony…

Useful! Though, mainly for fragile escorts. Like Reddybear at times…

Oh wait, actual escorts who are part of an escort mission can’t follow basic instructions, never mind.

Cherithe is best bug-zapper.

I was considering linking some moves, but then I rememebered that Reddybear does not need the offensive help.

Yaaaay…

Okay, to be fair, Beedrill’s Fury Attack is quite remarkable, as demonstrated, but I kinda doubt we’ll be using Weedle for long enough for that to be relevant. Especially since, well, the premise.

I decided to take inspiration from the final evolution and name her Honey, sugah.

That said, neither honey nor weedles are known for their resiliency, so…

Oy! I didn’t mean for you to keep your distance from me!

I know rocks in water are a common sight in nature, but in this game, it is a truly tragic sight to see one land there.

Well, this Ampharos seems quite happy that their package is close to delivery. That, or ve’s jumping for vis previous Hurl Orb which ended up being hurled and embedded into the ceiling.

I do not want to let Beedrill get a word in, here, given what happened last time.

The mean bee’s trying to take my Honey!

And welcome to the jam.

That said, Cherithe has enough close-range moves and has enough trouble conserving PP, even with “Dedicated Traveler,” so I shall actually forgo that move, due to its low PP. Yeah, sure, Slam is likely more powerful, but Cherithe tends to take things out in a single Thundershock, anyway.

Um?

Oh. That was embarrassing.

Blissfully unaware of how I tried to bean ver in the head with a rock.

…Well, this is awkward.

There she is, just walking in circles.

Rectangles.

Whatever.

You’re welcome, Beedrill.

You sure did, Honey!

No, not you, Red, the other “Honey.”

Quite a nice haul, this! We received 600 PoKé, Max Elixir, 10 Gravelrocks, a Sky Gummi, a Power Band (ups Attack when held), and 50 rescue points.

And tomorrow, onward to more ~~grinding~~ training!

Joat · September 29, 2018, 10:24pm

Two separate locations. That is quite inconvenient.

I think this is the first one that actually resembles news in any way. Maybe the news is turning a new leaf!

Nope, never mind.

That said, news entry #6 shows just how much grinding the game expected me to have done that I did not actually do. That news was supposed to have arrived presumably shortly after the Skarmory fight. Or possibly earlier, if this was intended to be foreshadowing.

It is so nice to have my rock stock back up again.

After the Decrepit Lab purchase, there is but one left. An expensive one, but still, so very close, now.

Reddybear, what did you do this time?

Is it Valentine’s Day or something? The first one is hitting on me, the second one wants to see their love, the third one wants me to save their relationship, and the fourth one is apparently will settle for anything that moves.

Yes, it’s in an outdated location and there’s only one job there, but, well, this letter came specifically to me. If I don’t do this, nobody will!

…Yeah, I know, I am far too soft, even by bubblegum standards.

Wee…

But… But I already have a Malchoir!

sigh Oh well. Sorry, Zigzagoon!

Funny I should gain a Spearow so soon after gaining what Spearow was traded for once upon a time.

…Okay, I’m not that mean.

According to its RSE Pokédex entries, Spearow can, to warn others of danger, let out a shriek audible over a half-mile away. Kinda like a warning siren! As well, Sirens in Greek mythology are hybrids of humans and birds.

…

In any case, let us carry on!

That’s my Reddybear! He keeps on tickin’, then gives a lickin’!

Reddybear was following along just fine, then abruptly decided to go the other direction.

Was it something on my breath?

At long last.

She sounds like she’s trying way too hard to be hip.

sigh

Anyway, we got 200 PoKé and 5 rescue points. There was only one level up, and that was our guest star…

Oh well. Onward, to tomorrow!

Joat · October 6, 2018, 6:03pm

Oy…

On the bright side, we have a mailbox mission in a more high-difficulty, and thus high-experience, location.

Too long without his beloved, I trust?

Getting closer to that last friend area.

Spinarak, you seriously need to keep better track of which strands are sticky, next time.

Here’s hoping I get a rather good Gold Gummi haul…

Personally, I’d be afraid of getting a splinter.

Okay, yeah, I know Sudowoodo is actually, well, pseudo-wood.

I wonder if anyone has ever made a fake potted Sudowoodo decoration as a joke, either in the Pokémon world or as real-world merchandise. If not, someone should, really.

Good heavens, that’s a lot of food.

Woo!

The best kind of problem to have.

A good strategic tool. I shall go ahead and have that replace Sand Attack.

And still no Gold Gummi, yet.

Useful, I suppose, though that’s a rather stilted name.

And at long last, the average party level is 19!

Yeah, I know I was hoping for the minimum party level to be 19 by the end of all this grinding, but I need to be mindful of the audience, when choosing how much to grind.

Sadly, that mission had to be left uncompleted. I was hoping the game would throw Gold Gummies at me like last time, but alas, no…

Now seems like a good time.

…I think I’ll keep it under the “strategic repositioning” bin and leave it at that…

Is TPS a term that exists? I think I’d like to make TPS a term that exists.

Reddybear shall have none of thy nonsense, good sir!

Oh dear… You okay there, Red? Are you finding out what blue tastes like?

Without the requested Gold Gummi.

Which means only one of the three missions has actually been completed.

Yaaaay…

Our rewards, as a result, are a mere Max Elixir and 10 rescue points. But at the very least, we went up in a decent number of levels. Mostly because I was spamming moves like crazy, trying to get anyone to join up with the team. I think the past few dungeon runs have spoiled me, on that.

No, not really.

But tomorrow… PLOT HAPPENS!

Joat · December 12, 2018, 12:35am

At long last, I have returned! Sorry for the unannounced break.

It is time.

I’m running out of creative ways to say “You already told me that and I’ve been using that mechanic for a really long time, now.”

Don’t worry, Reddybear. I shan’t abandon thee.

Anyway, I have put the gummi quests on hold. It is time, indeed, to travel onward and face the dreaded canyon once more!

Though, uh… this time, I’m bringing an exit strategy. ~~Cowardice~~ Safety first!

Also, now I can afford this last Friend Area!

Wigglytuff: Oops? Oh, too bad. I’m fresh out of Friend Areas.

“Oops?” Why “Oops?” I imagine my reaction would be more along the lines of “Time to go dive into all this PoKé like Scrooge McFarfetch’d.”

And so, here we are once again, this time more prepared. Somewhat.

This is why I am not too concerned when Cherithe walks off to attack something.

Anyway, doing remarkably well, this time! I have yet to hit any close calls.

Sure, he may be somewhat fragile, but when he gets the first hit…

It is nice to have some of that overpowered multi-hit move pool on my side, too. Not that enemies tend to survive more than one swipe, mind, but…

Also, it’s nice that Doduo, the enemy multi-hitter of the area, seems to be somewhat on the fragile side, from what I am seeing.

This move is a fair bit of a hazard, being a 100% damage reflect move unless the move being dealt to the defender is a KO, but at least there’s some ability to work around it.

For example, throwing rocks!

Speaking of broken moves, I’ll be putting this into storage instead of using it (I may change my mind if fake difficulty ramps up, hence me not outright selling it). So you know, since this game does not use gender, this move can hit anyone (unless they have the Oblivious ability, which very few do), and anyone hit by it is unable to act for a few turns.

This seems quite fitting.

Quite useful, aye! I wish Cherithe had that one. Especially since her status move does nothing else, whereas Reddybear’s at least also does damage.

I think the game heard me and is now taunting me about it.

But now, it is ours.

Woo!

I quite like owls. If I play Gold again, I should probably have a Hoothoot in the party, despite it not looking so cute, so I can have a Noctowl in the party later.

Heck, maybe I’ll do a full-bird party, since I already beat the game normally once (not including catching them all, because I am not that mad).

That’s a lot of Oran Berries. Which is good, because I really need one right about now.

Reddybear must be feeling quite left out, right about now.

I do hope Murkrow joins us at some point in this dungeon. I quite like Murkrow, as well.

…Yes, I may have a bit of a bird bias.

Something else I found, but sadly, this one is likely just going to be sold. It’s very rare for an enemy to be holding anything, too rare to justify this. And even if they are, would this even work if I’m holding something? I’d rather not trade away my poison immunity for the slim chance of denying an enemy their potentially-useless-anyway item.

…

Serves you right for spraying your seeds all over my beloved!

Apparently, it takes a Cherithe to substantially harm a Cherithe.

Oh, now you give me one…

Quite an interesting find! Even if likely to go unused.

Yeah, I think Cherithe has this one covered.

Oh wait, right, Poison Sting cuts corners and I’m the one with the Pecha Scarf. Tagging in!

I should seek the truth behind my own past more often, because it’s quite profitable.

Interesting, the things some people leave lying around.

Though, what’s more interesting is that, somehow, all three of us can learn it.

That said, given that it deals no immediate damage and most battles do not last very long, this is another one of those moves that’s more effective when used against the players than when used by the players.

…Yeah, I may wish to set my active move to something with more than 1PP.

Actually remembering to select “Set” after taking a screenshot would help.

Smooooke near the waaateerr…

Apparently not hidden very well.

You’d think the dog would be the one giving the licks, rather than taking them.

Fun fact: Aside from bear and kitty form, Red has also been known to take bull form. So, this would have been another candidate for the Red name. Then again, Tauros is not exactly fond of the color red, so perhaps not.

Oh, sure! My name’s Joat, her name is Cherithe, and his name is… uh… You can call him “Bear,” for short, eheheh…

I suppose if you’re gonna be so anti-red, I may as well give you a name to match.

Green is quite tanky, for that level, though I suppose I would expect that from a bull. I think I can safely set him to go on the offensive, considering that.

Maaan, Green even channels his RAAAGE against the enemies. A perfect rival for Reddybear!

OH GEEZ, VE’S MAKING ROAST BEEF!

Cherithe: Yes! We’ve finally made it to the top, Joat!

All four of us, oddly enough. I heard it was supposed to be lonely at the top.

Cherithe: This is the Hill of the Ancients…

You don’t say…

Cherithe: Look! Over there!

Why is this a surprise?

Cherithe: Joat! Is that Xatu over there?

Judging by the naming conventions of this land, yes.

	???: …
	Cherithe: Hello?
	???: … …
	Cherithe: Maybe he doesn’t hear me? Hello?!
	???: … … …

Um, Cherithe? If that’s the case, Xatu is probably deaf. Perhaps try tapping its shoulder? Well, to the degree it can be considered to have shoulders, anyway.

Is it truly wise to have such a tone toward someone who is in prime shoving-you-off-a-cliff position?

	???: … … … …
	Cherithe: It’s useless. He’s not responding at all. Maybe he’s sleeping while on his feet?

Though it’s obvious that the latter is a bad idea, I’m pretty sure that the former is, too, when the Xatu in question is standing so close to the edge. Okay, to be fair, Xatu is a flying type, but still, causing someone to fall off the edge of a cliff is just plain rude.

Cherithe: Huh? Tickle him? …OK. It’s worth a try.

My thought would have been to wait until the sun goes down. I mean, he stares into the sun all day, so he should be finished when it sets.

Then again, the protagonist is presumably meant to be a child and we all know how patient they are, so…

	Cherithe: Tickle, tickle, tickle.
	???: … … …
	Cherithe: Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
	???: … … … … … …
	Cherithe: Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.

Do it a bit more, Cherithe! Xatu’s dots will soon break free from the tyranny of the text box!

	Cherithe: Tickle, tickle, tickle…
	Cherithe: Gasp, gasp…

Apparently, Tickle only has 28PP.

	Cherithe: It’s no good, Joat. He’s not responding.
	???: Snort…

That or he has a really poor reaction time.

	Cherithe: Huh?
	???: Snort… Giggle… Bufufufufufufufufu…

Actually, no, I think he’s just laughing at us.

Cherithe: He’s finally laughing now… Is he… just dense?

Actually, I’d say his density is pretty low, given the height and weight figures given by Bulbapedia.

	Cherithe: Yikes!
	???: Witness it… The sinking of the sun…

Y’know, I really should watch the sunset more oft, myself. Though, I admit, I am not in the best position to do that. My view is fairly obstructed, where I live. But, even to the degree I can, I tend not to. Nor the sunrise. 'Tis a shame, really.

Eep! I’m sorry, I’ll stop bothering you, just please don’t glare at us like that anymore!

???: I am Xatu.

You don’t say.

Xatu: You discerned my true identity…

Well… yes. It was not very difficult.

Xatu: You are not an ordinary sort…

Hear that, Snubbul? I am something special, gosh-darnit!

Well, that, or I am just a huge Pokénerd.

Yeah, probably that.

	Cherithe: Guessed your identity? That’s a bit much.
	Xatu: …No. I can tell this.

Well… yes, I am not surprised that you can tell that we figured out your identity.

Xatu: You there. You are no ordinary Pokémon.

That’s a rather odd thing for him to say about a Poochyena.

Xatu: You are… human, yes?

I am guessing Green is wondering just what it is that he signed up for, right about now.

Cherithe: Huh?! How can you tell that?!

Wow, it’s almost like he’s psychic or something!

Xatu: All day… I stare at the sun unblinking.

I’m no expert at clairvoyance, clearly, but I’m still pretty sure that’s not an answer.

Xatu: It gives me sight for all things.

Oh.

I’m pretty sure if I tried that, I wouldn’t have sight for much of anything, myself.

Xatu: The past and the future, too.

You can see the title screen and the end credits?

Cherithe: If you know, please tell us, Xatu! Next to me is my friend Joat…

A lovely sentiment, but is an introduction necessary, at this point?

Cherithe: My friend woke up one morning as a Pokémon. And, without any memory as a human. Xatu, you can tell, can’t you?

Xatu already knew, the audience already knew… Was that exposition dump for Green’s sake?

	Cherithe: Please tell us.
	Xatu: …The calamities of nature. There have been many in recent times.

Oh great, he’s chatting about the weather, now…

Xatu: They occur because the world’s balance is upset.

Am I destined to bring balance back to the Force?

	Xatu: And your becoming a Pokémon… They are tied together. Inseparably so.
	Cherithe: Wait. Joat becoming a Pokémon and… the natural disasters… are related?!
	Cherithe: What do you mean?! What does Joat have to do with the natural disasters we’ve been seeing?

Wait a second… I’ve got it!

The natural disasters are caused by Bunny Link using the medallions! He’s tapping into their power, not realizing the environmental ramifications of his actions! Joat got caught in one of the Quake spells, but instead of turning into an onion with a face, he got turned into a Poochyena!

…Or maybe the narrator who gave the quiz is responsible for the disasters, or something.

Xatu: …

I think we need to insert another quarter.

	Cherithe: What is it?! Why did you clam up?! Please, tell us! Please!
	Xatu: There are bigger concerns… I am afraid… The world’s balance… It must be restored. Or the unthinkable shall befall our world.

And apparently the unspeakable, since he isn’t specifying what it is.

	Cherithe: Huh…? You’re serious?! The world… The unthinkable is coming?
	Xatu: Every day I see it. The same future every day…

Ugh… Reruns…

	Xatu: I dread it…
	Cherithe: Xa-Xatu…
	Xatu: I fear it… The world’s destruction.

…including the internet?

Cherithe: The world’s destruction…?

	Gengar: That Joat… was human…
	Gengar: This is going to be useful! This should be interesting! Kekeh!

So, let me get this straight, Gengar. From what I can gather, your plan at this point is as follows:

1: Create a rescue team.

2: Defeat Team Zephyrai, who are the only other ones who know about the world’s impending doom and may, in fact, be vital to stopping the world from being destroyed.

3: The world is destroyed.

4: ???

5: Take over the world.

I cannot see how this plan could possibly collapse in on itself.

CommanderKeene · December 13, 2018, 7:32am

Oh, sure! My name’s Joat, her name is Cherithe, and his name is… uh… You can call him “Bear,” for short, eheheh…

OH GEEZ, VE’S MAKING ROAST BEEF!

I think these may be incorrect screenshots? They seem a bit out of place at least.

Joat · December 13, 2018, 2:44pm

I’m not sure how that happened, but it wasn’t just those two screenshots. Pretty much the entire end of the dungeon was mixed up, starting a bit before Green’s introduction. This has now been fixed.

Joat · December 13, 2018, 5:16pm

The next morning…

Cherithe: Let’s keep on doing good… actually, I want to ask you something.

“Nah, I’m perfectly fine with the fact that we just learned the end of the world is coming and also we didn’t hear anything about how to stop it because the conversation just suddenly stopped there, apparently.”

Cherithe: Yes, I guess you would be concerned too, Joat. There’s supposed to be a link between the world’s balance being upset and how you became a Pokémon… And because of the world’s upset balance, natural disasters have been occurring… And more than anything, he said that the world will be ruined if the balance isn’t restored…

Yes, Cherithe, I was, in fact, listening too.

Cherithe: I want to do something… But there’s something I don’t understand. So, uh… The world’s balance… What is it?

That’s a very good question. For Xatu.

Heck, even if she only just now thought of it, what’s stopping us from going up there again?

Perhaps there’s a problem with the world’s inner ear?

Cherithe: …OK. I guess so. You wouldn’t know. I can’t imagine what the world’s balance is about… To be honest, I don’t know what we should do…

Sacrifice a Gogoat to appease the Balance Gods?

Cherithe: I guess we’ll just have to do what we can. One thing at a time…

We’ll do what we can. Because. We must.

Oh sure… as a “charm”…

Raided the candy supply again, huh?

It’s been a while. Let’s visit Spoony!

Reading certain D&D books again, hm?

Anyway, onward to town!

Zapdos, apparently.

Snubbull: I always thought it was only a legend.

Has there ever been a legend in the history of all media that has not been true? I mean, other than legends that are unanimously seen as true, which are almost always shams.

	Bellsprout: But could it be true? I’m having a hard time believing it…
	Cherithe: Hi, what’s happening?
	Lombre: Well, you know the Ninetales legend? That old story?

Apparently, they don’t believe Ninetales exists. ‘Kay, then.

	Cherithe: The Ninetales legend? What’s that?
	Lombre: What, you don’t know? You know, it’s that old fairy tale. How you’ll get cursed if you ever grab one of Ninetales’s tails.

Ninetales is kind of petty like that.

Also, why issue a curse for grabbing one’s tail and not for, say, trying to inflict bodily harm upon the Ninetales? And what about owners, especially those interested in contests? Wouldn’t it be kind of awkward, trying to brush a Ninetales’ tail without grabbing it? And what if it was falling off a cliff and the only thing you could grab in time was its tail? Would it curse you then? Is it even voluntary, or is it just some automatic thing their tails do?

Okay, mostly I am joking around, but given that I actually have a Ninetales character that I sometimes use for RPing, the nature of this curse would definitely be useful information.

Snubbull: All this time, everyone thought it was just a legend. But lately, it’s been rumored that maybe it really happened.

Couldn’t you just find a Ninetales and ask them? I mean, granted, it could still just be a rumor they started to stop others from grabbing their tails, but still…

Bellsprout: Well, it is still a mere rumor. I wouldn’t put too much stock in that story if I were you.

I know that this becomes pertinent information rather quickly, but in the eyes of Bellsprout, what decision would I encounter where this rumor would affect it? I mean, the only one I can think of is the decision on whether to grab one of Ninetales’ tails without permission, and I’m pretty sure common courtesy can provide a satisfactory answer, there.

	Bellsprout: Personally, I don’t believe in rumors of that sort.
	Lombre: If you want to know more about the Ninetales legend… You should go see a Pokémon named Whiscash. He knows the story well. Whiscash is uh… You know, in his pond.

…Is that a euphemism for something?

Lombre: You should visit him if you want to know more.

Eh, sure, why not?

	Caterpie: It was fun.
	Metapod: The folklore was fun and interesting. Whiscash is very wise.

Very well, but if ve’s not actively telling a story or interacting with you in any way, why are you just standing here? Why not go and play? Preferably not deep in a dangerous forest without parental supervision, this time.

Whiscash: Hohoho. Fine, then. Let me recount the tale. There once lived a Pokémon by the name of Ninetales.

Something tells me that is not a unique occurrence.

Whiscash: Now, Ninetales had many tails, all of them imbued with psychic power… It was said that anyone so foolish as to touch a tail would be cursed for a thousand years.

I imagine most of those years of curse may go to waste.

	Whiscash: But there was someone so foolish as to grab a tail. And it was a human.
	Cherithe: A human?
	Whiscash: Yes, a human.

Well, having opposable thumbs does help, when trying to grab something.

Whiscash: As one might expect, the human that grabbed the tail was subjected to a thousand-year curse. However, just when the curse was cast, a Pokémon named Gardevoir shielded the human…

Does that mean that the curse is a projectile of some sort that can be blocked or dodged?

	Whiscash: And sacrificed herself to absorb the curse.
	Cherithe: Why? Why would that Pokémon, Gardevoir, take the human’s place?
	Whiscash: To Gardevoir, that human was her partner. There exist strong bonds between humans and Pokémon.
	Cherithe: …OK. But humans… Aren’t there good humans and bad ones too?

Fancy that…

Whiscash: Correct. Taking pity on Gardevoir, Ninetales asked the human this… “Do you wish to save Gardevoir?” it asked… But the human had already abandoned Gardevoir and fled.

I can understand being afraid and fleeing, but seriously, cursed or no, recalling a Pokémon is a simple matter of pulling a ball from your pocket and pressing a button, right?

Whiscash: Ninetales became disillusioned with the human… And it made this prediction… “That human will one day be reborn as a Pokémon…”

That’s a rather specific edge-case effect of the curse.

Cherithe: What?! A human turn into a Pokémon?!

…Well, to be fair, would you be able to resist hugging one of those super-fluffy tails?

Whiscash: “And when the human becomes a Pokémon… The world’s balance will be upset…” …And that is how the legend ends.

Wait, so what you’re saying is, not only is Ninetales so petty that it will curse one for about ten times the victim’s lifespan (if we take an optimistic look at their expected lifespan) for such a minor thing, but they are willing to do so despite being fully aware that, under certain circumstances (which, let’s face it, aren’t exactly one-in-a-million), it will potentially destroy the world.

Look, I can understand wanting to protect one’s prized tails, but couldn’t you, like, use a different curse on the offender? Y’know, one that won’t potentially destroy the planet? Or maybe just wound or kill them? Or write a very stern letter to them, or just… anything else! Some common sense, please!

	Whiscash: Well? Did you find it interesting?
	Cherithe: …
	Whiscash: Ah-hah! You found it so interesting, you’re at a loss for words? Hohoho. There’s no need to wear such a serious expression. Certainly some rumors say that the legend may actually be true… But it is only ancient folklore, nothing more. If you feel the urge to hear my tale again, come see me. Hohoho.

Cherithe: Want to call it a day now? I can’t seem to get motivated today…

Eh, no problem. The Pokémon scared and starving alone in a chasm can wait a bit longer.

Cherithe: But I just can’t seem to get motivated. I guess it’s because I heard that story. Ahahaha…

Couldn’t we just have Spoony pinch-hit for this situation, or something?

Cherithe: I guess I’ll go home and try to get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Cherithe: I started doubting you a little, Joat…

Given my performance early on, I believe that’s called common sense.

Cherithe: But I’m not going to worry anymore.

Still kinda made of tissue paper, but my level has caught up, so at least I’m made of reinforced tissue paper now, I guess.

Cherithe: I believe in you, Joat. Because you’re a friend like no other, Joat. You’re a friend… Like I’d never get again…

Aw… Lonely Cherithe…

I guess that explains why she was wandering out in that field all alone…

Cherithe: OK, Joat! Let’s do our best tomorrow like always!

Well, that was a short day! See you next time, everyone!

Joat · December 26, 2018, 9:05pm

Joat: … … …Again.

And again, and again, and again…

That’s not a silhouette. That’s blinking translucency.

Joat: Oh? It’s saying something! But… I can’t quite make it out… It’s clearer than it was before, but…

I’ll try talking to it.

I’d ask why he expects this to work, since talking generally makes the other end of the conversation harder to hear rather than easier, but we’re working by dream logic here, so…

Joat: Hello. Please tell me. You… Who are you?

Judging by the naming conventi… Okay, I think you know the drill by now.

: …I am…

…all I am all I am.

: I am Gardevoir.

	Joat: Ga-Gardevoir…?!
	Gardevoir: I’m so glad. Finally… I finally got to meet you…
	Joat: …? Finally met me…? You knew me from before? What about me?

“Met” implies a first-time encounter. Is this a translation error, or something?

Gardevoir: I am your…

…Creepy stalker?

Joat: I want to know more… No… It’s fading… … …

The next morning…

You keep using that term, which makes me wonder how boring your normal dreams must be.

Joat: It’s the dream I always have, but it was clearer than it was before… I think I finally learned who that Pokémon was… That’s it! Gardevoir! It was Gardevoir! Yesterday, Whiscash said…

Whiscash: Yes, a human. As one might expect, the human that grabbed the tail was subject to a curse of a thousand years. However, just as the curse was cast, a Pokémon named Gardevoir shielded the human… And sacrificed herself to absorb the curse.

Cherithe: Why? Why would that Pokémon, Gardevoir, take the human’s place?

Whiscash: To Gardevoir, that human was her partner. There exist strong bonds between humans and Pokémon.

Joat: …Maybe… Maybe, I… Maybe I was the human who was Gardevoir’s partner…

If I were in that situation, if I figured the dreams were in any way prophetic (and they are way too coherent to not be), I would not be using the term “maybe.” I mean, the evidence looks decently clear, here (provided we do count the use of the term “met” as a translation error), and there aren’t really any other plausible explanations floating about.

Joat: Maybe I was the one who abandoned Gardevoir when she was cursed… Maybe that’s why I turned into a Pokémon…

Cherithe: …Oh? You look pale. Is something the matter?

How?

	Cherithe: Well, anyway. As always, let’s try to do our best!
	Cherithe: Oh, yeah!
	Cherithe: When I was on the way here, I think there was a commotion at Pokémon Square.

Yesterday, Cherithe walked off to the left, implying her home is that way. Did she really take that big of a detour on the way here?

Cherithe: I wonder if something happened…

Why are you leaving all of my stuff completely unguarded, Kangaskhan?

	Cherithe: The town’s atmosphere is different somehow…
	Cherithe: Maybe something happened.

Zombie apocolypse, perhaps?

Cherithe: Joat, let’s check it out!.

	Bellsprout: Let me tell you, I was amazed! It really was true!
	Cherithe: What was true?
	Bellsprout: The NInetales legend! I never believed the rumors, so you can bet I was shocked to learn the truth!
	Caterpie: Joat, Cherithe.
	Cherithe: Oh, hi, Caterpie.
	Cherithe: Even you came out, Caterpie?

Why is that a surprise? Caterpie is clearly an outdoorsy type. As are most Pokémon, I imagine.

	Snubbull: Ssh! Quiet. That guy there’s telling us. Keep it down.
	Cherithe: Huh? Who’s talking
	Caterpie: I-it’s…

Caterpie, if you’re that scared of Gengar, why not just hear the story second-hand. Or… second… whatever those stubby things you have are called.

Gengar: …So, I went up to the Hill of the Ancients.

For absolutely no explained reason.

	Gengar: And that’s where I saw it! It was shocking stuff, I tell you! Kekeh!
	Lombre: Shocking stuff?
	Gengar: This certain Pokémon was getting advice from Xatu.
	Gengar: That Pokémon… It looks like an ordinary Pokémon…
	Gengar: But get this! It was originally a human!

Huh. So the Xatu used to be human. Who knew?

	Bellsprout: What?!
	Snubbull: It really existed… A human that turned into a Pokémon.
	Gengar: There’s more. Xatu told the human… That how the human became a Pokémon has a lot to do with how the world’s balance is upset.
	Lombre: Wait a second… That’s exactly like the NInetales legend!
	Gengar: Kekeh! Don’t be too shocked yet. There’s more.
	Gengar: You all know how there’ve been many natural disasters, correct?

…Kiiiinda hard to miss.

	Gengar: According to Xatu, those disasters are caused by the world’s balance being upset. And if the world’s balance isn’t restored soon…
	Gengar: The unthinkable will happen to the world! That’s what Xatu said! Kekeh!
	Lombre: Wh-what?
	Bellsprout: The world… The unthinkable’s going to happen?
	Snubbull: What are we to do?!
	Cherithe: That Gengar…! He’s deliberately working everyone up…

True, but he hasn’t told a single lie thus far. And honestly, I think this is important stuff to know, even if expressed for the wrong reason, in this case.

Honestly, if we’d told everyone the tale like we probably should have done, we probably could have nipped this in the bud.

Gengar: Now, now, people. There’s no need to panic.

It’s only the destruction of the world, after all!

	Gengar: Why, I think there’s a way we can do something about this. Kekeh!
	Snubbull: Wh-what can we do?
	Gengar: Oh, it’s quite simple, actually. If the world’s balance is upset by a human becoming a Pokémon…
	Gengar: Then, if that human is gone, then everything should return to normal, correct?

In Teen Titans, I remember an episode where Raven and Terra were arguing about whether or not to destroy a console. If memory serves, Terra wanted to destroy it, thinking that doing so would stop the process of a bad thing happening. Raven wanted not to destroy it, since they might be destroying their only way to stop the process.

Now, I was with Terra on that one, since a console you don’t know how to use is pretty much useless anyway, but the point is, if they get rid of that former human and it turns out they’re the only one who can stop it, the world’s kinda screwed.

	Lombre: Th-that’s true!
	Snubbull: When you put it that way… maybe you’re right.
	Gengar: Kekeh! And that human is the rotten coward that abandoned Gardevoir, correct?
	Gengar: I don’t think the human can complain about anything if we get rid of it.
	Gengar: Isn’t that right, Joat?
	Lombre: Who… What?! It… It can’t be!
	Bellsprout: Y-you… You were that human?!
	Snubbull: Is that true? Hey!

…

Ah yes, I guess I can understand why you would think I was the coward who did that.

For that matter, didn’t these incidents start before my arrival? I mean, I don’t think it was ever stated, but it was at the very least strongly implied.

	Cherithe: W-w-wait… This is, like… There’s a good explanation for…
	Snubbull: We’re not asking you, we’re asking Joat!

Ah, yes, time to clear my name!

Snubbull: Hey! Joat! So what is it?!

…Oh, right, silent protagonist, crap…

	Cherithe: Joat…
	Caterpie: Joat…
	Gengar: Kekekekekekeh! Looks like you have nothing to say in your defense, Joat!
	Gengar: That’s how it is, fellow Pokémon.
	Gengar: Let’s get rid of Joat and regain peace. Kekekekekeh!
	Cherithe: Wh-what? E-everyone, what’s gotten into you? What are you going to do?
	Lombre: Joat, forgive me!

I just missed getting a screenshot of it, but Lombre attacked with a fierce punch which, well, missed. And then the other Pokémon close in for the attack, taking their sweet time with actually attacking.

Cherithe: Wah! What are you doing?!

I think it’s rather clear. I mean, what did you expect them to do, if their plan was to get rid of the human in question? Give him the keys to a shiny new spaceship and kindly tell him to go to Mars?

	Cherithe: Waaaaah! Joat, run!
	Gengar: Serves them right! Kekekekeh!

Cherithe: I never expected anyone to attack us like that.

“Us”?

	Cherithe: But listen, Joat.
	Cherithe: Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you argue that it’s not you?!

Ugh… Okay, no jokes about this one. Instead, a bit of a rant.

Remember what I said at the beginning, about the game not knowing what they want to do with the protagonist? There’s a reason why the protagonist in the main series games is silent. It’s so they don’t say something the player would not say, or in a way the player would not say it, and such is a good way to go about things, otherwise this happens.

This game, by the quiz at the beginning, clearly wants me to be able to put myself into the role of this character, but even if I were 100% convinced that I was guilty of dooming the entire planet, I would never say either of those things. Not even close. Nowadays, I would just come right out and state my suspicions. When I was 10, I’m not sure what I would have done, but unless I planned to heroically sacrifice my life to potentially save the world, I’m pretty sure I would not want to go it alone. Even way back then, I understood the concept of safety in numbers.

With the thing before, with the character not speaking, I could at least see myself locking up under such a situation or something like that, but with this…

*sigh* Well, I guess I’ll choose the first option.

Cherithe: Wh-what’s the matter? What makes you say that all the sudden?

The script.

Cherithe: Give up our rescue team? It’s not like you to say that, Joat.

Say what you will about how I wouldn’t say that, but honestly, I think that it’s a logical thing to do. It’s kind of hard to maintain a rescue team when you are a wanted fugitive.

Cherithe: Is something the matter?

You mean other than the story yesterday and me being nearly beaten by a mob just now?

I mean, for crying out loud, say what you will about whether I should be the leader of a rescue team, but my Run Away ability was pretty darn vital back there…

Well, that, or I could have pointed out that we recently took down Zapdos. I mean, would you want to mess with that team?

Cherithe: …Huh? You had a dream? And Gardevoir appeared in it?

“And you were there, and you, and you…”

	Cherithe: …And that made you think that maybe you were that human after all…
	Cherithe: …So that’s what it is. That’s what happened…
	Cherithe: Listen, Joat. Did your dream make you remember what you were like as a human being? Since it didn’t, you don’t know what really happened.

Much as I appreciate the sentiment, were I in that position, I do not think that would be a very convincing argument.

Cherithe: I… I have faith in you, Joat. You know that? So…

Alakazam: After that scene in Pokémon Square… We held a town meeting… On what we must do to save the world… And we arrived at a consensus. We must get rid of you.

This is actually fairly dark. I mean, consider the target demographic. Sure, I was 25 at time of original writing, but the target demographic is about 10. And though they haven’t outright stated it, I kinda doubt they plan to simply make the former human faint.

In short, for most of the people playing this game at the time, the town has unanimously decided to murder a small child. Without conclusive proof, at that.

	Cherithe: You’re kidding!
	Alakazam: I was incredulous too… I had hoped it would not come to this, but… It is unfortunate. We will… Defeat you with all our might!
	Cherithe: (W-we’re fighting here…?)
	Alakazam: We will give you tonight.
	Cherithe: Huh?
	Alakazam: Pack your supplies and get out of here.

It’s a good thing I’m pretty well-prepared for travel, considering that all of my supplies that aren’t already packed are, well, in town.

Alakazam: Come tomorrow, rescue teams of all sorts will take up the chase… And attack you without hesitation.

Are you and the rest of the town set on this or not? I mean, I could understand if only this team are sparing them for now, delaying and only later going out to save face, but apparently all of the rescue teams agreed to this.

Either you are fully certain that Joat is the cause of all this, in which case you are endangering the entire world (at which point Joat would die along with the rest of the world, for that matter), or you aren’t and therefore shouldn’t be attacking Joat yet, instead perhaps imprisoning them and trying to figure out the truth while you have them in containment. Or, if you’re really desperate, kill Joat right now. Either way, you are either delayed in killing Joat, during which time the disasters are still going on, thus making this objectively worse than just killing him now, or you are letting him get away, but wasting a whole bunch of resources trying to find him again, making this objectively worse than doing nothing at all.

Alakazam: And not just you. Anyone that goes with Joat will be considered an enemy. The trackers will attack without mercy. That goes for us too. We will join the hunt to be rid of you.

Against all odds, you must run. Run, run… And survive. You must run till you discover the truth.

So you’re reasonably certain that we’re innocent, and… Actually, I take it back. Even keeping up appearances isn’t an excuse. First off, unless you have an audience nearby, if you meet up with Team Zephyrai, you can simply “fail” to apprehend them, and secondly, if you’re reasonably certain I’m not guilty, why did you not speak up? And if you did, why didn’t they listen? Are they seriously taking the hearsay of a team called Team Meanies over the word of a well-respected gold-rank team whose leader is explicitly stated to be very knowledgeable? Wouldn’t that at least give the town pause for thought?

	Cherithe: Alakazam…
	Alakazam: There will be no mercy the next time we meet. Farewell.

Cherithe: In their own way, Alakazam’s team has faith in you too.

In their own incredibly confusing and nonsensical way.

	Cherithe: Didn’t I say this before? I’m not going to worry anymore. Whatever happens, I’ll always have faith in you, Joat. Even if we’re attacked by other teams, I won’t be scared.
	Cherithe: What good will it do if you don’t believe in yourself, Joat?

	Cherithe: Caterpie…
	Caterpie: Joat… I made a promise, remember? That we would make a rescue team base here. That I would join your rescue team when I grew up. Joat… Don’t give up. You’re a hero to me, Joat. I believe in you too, Joat.

If they’re only superficially going to give the player options, why not just have the character speak up without having the player select an option? I mean, these aren’t even really different flavors of affirmation. I could at least understand it if one of the options were something like “Alright… I’ll try my best.” At least then, you’re doing some role-playing, because one option sounds confident and the other sounds a bit more uncertain and scared. Which, let’s face it, would describe me through pretty much the entirety of this adventure.

	Cherithe: Yeah! That’s right! That’s more like it! That’s what we expect from our Joat!
	Cherithe: We’ll have to leave for the time being… But let’s be sure to come back! And we’ll bring the truth back with us!

And also probably large sums of cash, because that’s generally how this sort of thing goes.

	Whiscash: Yes, a human. As one might expect, the human that grabbed the tail was subject to a curse of a thousand years. However, just as the curse was cast, a Pokémon named Gardevoir shielded the human… And sacrificed herself to absorb the curse.
	Cherithe: Why? Why would that Pokémon, Gardevoir, take the human’s place?
	Whiscash: To Gardevoir, that human was her partner. There exist strong bonds between humans and Pokémon.