Week 142: Last Chance
We’re entering Round 6 of 7 and that means things are really reaching a boiling point now. Read the wall of text below. B-Block is pretty cut and dry but A-Block is… it’s something.
Scene: Satans recovery tube now has the message Destroy Vacant on it. Which is cool and all. But blowing his head off didn’t work.
#1-4 Showdown Tournament 2 - B-Block Round 6
Family Man (0) vs. Sapp Ledesma (4)
Sapp defeats Family Man in Round 2 after 6:19 via KO with a knee strike to the head
Harley Havik (2) vs. Thunder (2)
Thunder defeats Harley in Round 2 after 8:28 via KO with… an uppercut from behind?
Sgt. Sprinklez (4) vs. Mr. Shakedown (10)
Shakedown defeats Sprinkles in Round 3 after 13:59 via KO with a DDT
Abby Lawrence (8) vs. KILL ANIME GIRLS (10)
KAG defeats Abby in Round 3 after 12:53 via KO with mounted punches.
#5 Tag Team Match
DCB, Surfborg, Koji Kojinaka, Duckbaby vs. Palpatine, Guzma, Dash Rendar, Boob Marley
Team Nice defeats Team Not Nice in 35:37 when Surfburg submits Palpatine with an over the knee armlock
The tale of Surfborg and Palpy is especially interesting here because they fought each other for a long time and Palpy was mostly on top, hitting the Galactic Elbow multiple times but the fall was interrupted every time. Winning by submission is usually the way to go here, the pain doesn’t count to 3 before it starts so the tap-out, in this case at least, was immediate.
Scene: Suzan attempts to recruit Dash in the battle against VACANT, he doesn’t seem too interested. Tara interrupts and tears Dash a new one but Dash still seems to want none of it.
#6-9 Showdown Tournament 2 - A-Block Round 6
Cocademon (0) vs. Johnny Fuckyou (6)
Fuckyou defeats Cocademon in Round 3 after 11:13 via KO with Eat Da Feet (Foot Stunner)
Bobson Dugnutt (8) vs. Austin Ramon (4)
Austin defeats Bobson in Round 3 after 10:17 via KO with a high kick.
It bears special mentioning that Austin was knocked out at the end of Round 2 but the bell rang before the ref could notice. So he could make the comeback at the very beginning of round 3, knocking Bobson out immediately. This match was incredibly close.
Fomore (2) vs. Angus McMutton (8)
Fomore defeats Angus after the end of Round 3 via Decision.
Harmony Gray (6) vs. Not Your God (6)
NYG defeats Harmony in Round 3 after 11:42 via Submission with a Cross Armbreaker
Scene: The Fun Gang attempt to bring some light-heartedness in are recently violence and murder-filled show. They at least don’t make it worse.
#10 Legion Tag Championship
School of Slam vs. Team Skull Girls (c)
School of Slam defeat Team Skull in 15:24 via submission when Sadim locks the Humble-Maker on Plumeria
This, of course, happened after Muscle Wizard attacked Plumeria with a Sledgehammer for an extended period on the outside.
Standings and Elimination Scenarios
Points behind names are listet as (current points/max potential points)
A-Block
Alive:
Angus McMutton (8/12) - tie-breaker over Harmony, NYG - Yet to face Fomore and Bobson
Bobson Dugnutt (8/12) - tie-breaker over Fuckyou, NYG - Yet to face Austin and Angus
Johnny Fuckyou (6/10) - tie-breaker over Angus, Harmony - Yet to face Cocademon and Austin
Harmony Gray (6/10) - tie-breaker over Bobson - Yet to face NYG and Fomore
Dead Man Walking:
NYG (6/10) - tie-breaker over Fuckyou - Yet to face Harmony and Cocademon
Eliminated:
Austin Ramon (4/8)
Fomore (2/6)
Cocademon (0/4)
All right we have quite the scenario here, we got five people very close to each other, with tie-breakers all over the place. I did pronounce NYG dead in the results of the last show. The reason for this is that Angus and Bobson have yet to face each other and so they will get two more points guaranteed. NYG can still spoil Harmony’s tournament. And… well. The thing is there is a very very slim chance for him making a comeback. But more on that later.
Angus and Bobson can both afford to lose one but still come out on top due to tie-breakers they have but they can’t lose to each other. Due to those tie-breakers if Angus simply wins another match, Harmony will be out. If Bobson wins another match Fuckyou will be out. If Fuckyou wins Harmony will be on very thin ice. If Harmony wins then… well. She’s not eliminated if Angus loses both his remaining matches. The same is true for Fuckyou, only Bobson has to lose both matches.
All right, let’s get funky. The good news for Harmony is that she has a tie-breaker over Bobson Dugnutt. Now, assuming Bobson beats Angus, getting a tie-breaker over him, who has a tie-breaker over Harmony. Let’s assume Bobson loses his other match while Angus wins. All three of them will have 10 points. We’ll have a three-way tie (Harmony > Angus > Bobson > Harmony). Well, more specifically we have three people with tie-breakers over each other. The same thing happened last time we did this. We had to do a three-way match to break it up. The fucked up thing is, this might happen in B-Block too…
Except! Here comes Johnny Fucking Fuckyou beating his two remaining opponents, achieving 10 points as well, with tie-breakers over Angus and Harmony and what even in the fuck. The thing is, as funny as the idea of a four-way tie-up is, this would be immediately resolved. Johnny’s tie-breakers would eliminate Harmony and Angus while Bobson has the tie-breaker over Fuckyou. If we go by number of tie-breakers this would give Fuckyou the win, if we went by logic it’d be Bobson, because his tie-breaker would eliminate Fuckyou. I’m leaning more towards the “logic” approach myself but I might change my mind.
Johnny Fuckyou can, of course, also be entangled in a three way tie-up if Angus beats Bobson but loses his other match, while Bobson wins his other match. If Johnny wins all of his remaining bouts the three of them will have three points with a convenient Johnny > Bobson > Angus > Johnny tie-breaker chain that needs to be resolved.
Now, what if all that happens. And what if NYG wins his remaining matches against Harmony and Cocademon, putting him at 10 points as well. He does have a tie-breaker over Johnny Fuckyou, creating a four-way tie at the end of the block… except both Bobson and Angus have tie-breakeres over him so he’s out. Huh. But I did allude to him still having a chance.
Bobson loses both of his matches, remaining at 8 ponts.
Angus wins against Bobson, loses the other. Angus has 10 points. (has a tie-breaker over NYG)
Fuckyou beats both his opponents. Fuckyou ahs 10 points (and a tie-breaker over Angus)
NYG beats Harmony and Cocademon, reaches 10 points (has a tie-breaker over Fuckyou)
Harmony is beaten by NYG and thus can reach 8 points at most, eliminating her.
We got NYG > Angus > Fuckyou > NYG
This will not work if Bobson beats Angus instead because Bobson has a tie-breaker over NYG and Fuckyou, resolving it immediately in favor of Bobson.
Wow that was quite a lot. I could probably think of more obscure scenarios if I spent more time on this, but I won’t.
B-Block
Alive:
Mr. Shakedown (10/14) - tie-breaker over Abby Lawrence - Yet to face Sprinkles and KAG
KILL ANIME GIRLS (10/14) - no tie-breakers over living participants - Yet to face Abby Lawrence and Mr. Shakedown
Abby Lawrence (8/12) - no tie-breakers over living participants - Yet to face KAG and Harley Havik
Eliminated:
Sapp Ledesma (4/8)
Sgt. Sprinkles (4/8)
Harley Havik (2/6)
Thunder (2/6)
Family Man (0/4)
Thankfully this is simpler than A-Block, there’s not that many outlandish possibilities. There only three people still in the game.
Shakedown and KAG sit more or less comfortably at the top. For Abby it’s not so easy. Her match against KAG is make or break. If she loses, she’s out, and this will be between KAG and Mr. Shakedown for the Block Finals next week. And even if she wins, she’ll have to rely on Mr. Shakedown to lose his remaining matches. If Mr. Shakedown reaches 12 points with one more win he’ll have as many points as Abby can earn by winning her remaining matches. He also has a tie-breaker over Abby.
All right, that’s not all. Assuming Abby beats KAG this week and Shakedown wins this week but loses next week against KAG, while Abby beats her final opponent, Harley, we’ll have a gridlock of sorts. In that scenario Shakedown, KAG and Abby will all have 12 points but they’ll have tie-breakers over each other in an eternal tie-breaker Oroboros. Just like one of the possible scenarios in A-Block. If both blocks end this way then I don’t even know what to say.