Week 135: Judgement Dusk III - 30th October 2021 - 22:00 GMT+2
Next week is JUDGEMENT NIGHT III and I forgot to do the bit where I call the episodes leading up Judgement Dawn/Day/Dusk this year. I mean okay, I called the last one JD3, but that could mean anything. But I finally caught back up, welcome to Judgement Dusk III, here’s the card.
#1 4v4 Tag Match
This war rages on, eternally.
Anime Death Squad (KAG, Palpy, WNA) vs. Anime Defense Force (Skull Girls, Anna May, Samio)
ADF defeat ADS in 13:47 via Pinfall when Plumeria drops KAG on his head with a Reverse Tombstone Piledriver
People hating anime is for no good reason is a tale as old as pro-wrestling. (Think Anime was only created later? Think again, Wrestling is Anime) but to have the anime haters come from within Wrestling is its ultimate self-loathing. However, the brave animes keep on fighting and this time, they emerged victorious. A great victory for anime. A great victory for pro-wrestling. But it’s not over… it’s not over yet, Snake!
#2 Singles Match
Note: Our Hell has no nobility
Baron of Hell vs. Family Man
Family man defeats (!) Baron of Hell in 20:20 via pinfall with a Running Liger Bomb
Holy shit! Everyone expected Family Man to get wrecked. And at first this looked very likely. But at some point Family man just decided to stop taking moves! I’m not bumping for you, brother! He turned into Shin Family Man X and whipped out moves that we don’t normally see him do. Truly a sight to behold. The Baron of Hell could not win in his debut, however, you don’t normally face Shin Family Man X in your first match.
#3 Singles Match
Ultimate Brain vs. Ultimate Brawn, match of the century (mid-card)
EGO vs. Muscle Wizard
EGO defeats Muscle Wizard in 20:06 via Pinfall after Super Ego Flying High
This match somehow turned into a hard fought epic too. It was intended as a nice nothing match so people could recover from the shock of Family Man getting completely destroyed. However, that didn’t happen. So Ego and Muscle Wizard fought it out hard. Still somehow protecting Muscle Wizard’s Finish, Bigdawgs Clenched Fist, by never doing it in 20 minutes. Nice.
#4 Legion Tag Championships No. 1 Contender Match
Undeddie and Mimic are going to dick kick city
The Union (Mina and Josef) vs. Criminal Sanity (Undeddie and Mimic)
The Union defeat Criminal Sanity in 16:25 via DQ when Josef pretends to have been kicked in the nards by Undeddie. One too many.
Ah, yes. The classic trick of getting your opponent DQ’d for a ball kick that never happened in a match full of crotch kicks that occurred in plain sight. Some might call this arbitrary. I call it art.
#5 Bloodtober Gorefest Qualifier
What shall it be? Princess Slaughter? Or Deathmatch Kayu?
Kelsey Slaughter vs. Kayu Zakisaka
Kayu defeats Kelsey in 9:22 via Pinfall with the Mahou Magical Splash
While this match ended rather quickly, especially compared to the previous singles matches, it was pretty intense. At one point Kayu decided to start using her finisher until it is successful. But it wasn’t until she did a Springboard Cross Body before the Mahou Magical Splash from the top rope.
Scene: Pantha and Dash are interviewed and cut short promos on the upcoming match.
#6 Hellweight Championship No. 1 Contender Match
Can’t wait for Pantha to gloriously defeat Dash Rendar again.
Pantha vs. Dash Rendar for some reason
Pantha defeats Dash in 32:39 via Pinfall with a Reincarnation
WHAOAAAAAAAOU Holy shit. This match started with Dash dominating. Even doing his finisher like four or so times. In a row. RNG was really on his side. But the fighting spirit was on Panthas. Pantha kicked out every time. Not only that she was able to make a blazing combeback. Move after move after move, culminating in the Pantha Claw… but Dash does not tap out. However, it’s clear at this point that both are at the end of their wints, whatever happens next could end it for either of them. Thankfully, for us all, it was Pantha who came out on top this time. No nightmare prospect of Dash potentially winning the big title again… whew. But it may only be a matter of time…
#7 Seven Deadly Pins
Eight people enter… eight leave. But only one of them can win.
Lightning vs. Robutt vs. Duckbaby vs. Suman vs. Lea vs. Bone Idol vs. Florida Man vs. Koji Kojinaka (c)
Lea eliminates Koji in 23:07 by knocking him out with the Make-A-Wish. He STILL kicked out.
Lightning eliminates Suman in 26:58 by knocking him out with Lightning Strikes
Duckbaby eliminates Lea in 27:04 via Submission with Some weird leg-wrenching move.
Bone Idol eliminates Lightning in 29:51 via Pinfall after The Bone Zone
Robutt eliminates Florida Man in 31:21 via Pinfall with an O’Connor Roll German
Duckbaby eliminates Robutt in 32:13 via Submission by stomping a mudhole in his butt
Duckbaby eliminates Bone Idol in 34:57 via Pinfall by glomping them.
For some odd reason no eliminations happend for 23 minutes. The Chaos just continued for a long time, much longer than usual. But then they started falling. Big win for the Duckbaby in the end.
