OHPW - Business May Die [Fire Pro Wrestling World]

Week 123: Kid - (Twitch VOD)

Week 124: Lest Jimmy Standing III


This Saturday we’re gonna have us a big show! Check out the card.

#1 J.O.B. Tournament FINAL
Man, what a prestigious tournament. Can’t believe Dicky P actually won matches somehow.
Dicky P vs. Flash Hammer

#2 Seven Deadly Pins
Seven deadly pins… seven ways to win. You know the rest.
Plumeria vs. A Mimic vs. Black vs. Manic Misanthrope vs. Arcade Legend ASS vs. Blaze Rider vs. Nawt A Robutt vs. Muscle Wizard

#3 Singles Match
Isabel Ibarra vs. Midas Minoson

#4 Singles Match
No metter how we dice it, shenanigans are abound.
Vacation Skeleton (x) vs. Sexton Blud

#5 Singles Match
Grace Thoruson is challenged by an outsider. She received a note that simply read “Let’s go to Suplex City, bitch! Time to die!”.

#6 Legion Tag Championships
Can The Union join The Fun Gang in the winnning title matches via DQ club?
The Union vs. Steve Dirt and Family Man

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship - Lest Jimmy Standing Match
The letter V is on the line and Angus is pissed… but so far he could not put a dent into VACANT.
VACANT vs. Angus McMutton ©

#8 J.O.B. Capital L Palate Cleanser Over the Top Rope Clusterfuck
All seven people who lost in the J.O.B. Tournament

#9 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Although his place here is well earned at this point… I hope Dash eats shit.
Dash Rendar vs. Fomore ©

Week 124: LEST JIMMY STANDING III - (Twitch VOD)

All right, last week I did not stream because I was tired as fuck watching CM Punk return the day before.
So this week I’ll do two shows! One on Friday, the other on Saturday. We’ve done this before so there’s no need to be confused. Weeks is just what we call episodes and also the flow of time is convoluted so y’know. That’s just what we get.

In any case, first you get the match card I already posted last week, which we’ll see play out on friday and the one that would normally be this week and… in fact is this week. On Saturday.

Heads-up that these links take you to the corresponding show on the twitch schedule, so nothing fancy here. But they do in fact tell you when exactly the show will happen in your local time zone.

Week 125: Long Live Satan - (Twitch VOD)

Week 126: Thousand Matches - (Twitch VOD)

Well, 1000th match in the opener. Pretty impressive number.

It came up during the stream so here’s some more milestone kinda matches

69th match was Undeddie Guerrero vs. Kayu Zakisaka. Undeddie defeated Kayu in 17:37 via Pinfall. It got a 94% rating and happened on 16th March 2019

100th match was a Tag Team Match between The Dash Rendars (regular and Fat) and the Team Skull Grunts, which the Dashes won in 21:48 and got a 88% rating. Naturally this happened on 20th April 2019. Or 4/20 if you insist on writing your dates like a buffoon.

316th Match was Hellranger Flamander vs. Harley Havik. Flamander beat Harley in 10:58, which got a 91.71% rating on 12th October 2019

420th Match was a tag title match between 1 1/2 Dragons and the Team Skull Grunts, which the Grunts won in 20:50 via Pinfall. It got a 92% rating and took place on 18th January 2020

The 500th match was the Semi Finals of the Hellfire Tournament 2020 - Harmony Gray vs. Hellranger Flamander. Flamander defeated Harmony in 10:38 and moved on to face Grace (who would win) The match got a 83% Rating and it took place on 21st March 2020

Our 619th match was a First Fall Battle Royal between Maya, Palpy Koji and Danny V5. Maya submitted Koji in that match, which lasted for 15:51 and got an 82% rating on 11th July 2020

The 666th match was Harley Havik vs. Koji Kojinaka. Harley beat Koji in 21:58 via Submission. It got a 97% rating. It was almost exactly a year ago on 22nd August 2020

Week 127: Devacate - (Twitch VOD)

Week 128: NIGHTMARE FICTION
PPV Time! And I got a name for it… too bad it’s so hard to read, what does it say? Okay okay, I wrote it out both above and below in a normal font. But even if I didn’t what it’s called isn’t important, what’s important are the matches. Check out the card below.

#1 Seven Deadly Pins
Attack and Dethrone the Deadliest Pinner
Dicky P vs. Bone Idol vs. Pine Appel vs. Vacation Skeleton vs. Midas Minoson vs. Suman vs. Great Maharaja vs. Black ©

#2 Singles Match
's time for some garbage wrestling.
Steve Dirt vs. Pig Destroyer

#3 Singles Match
Lightning is about to find out that despite her new appearance, Harmony hits as hard as ever.
Harmony Gray vs. Cock Lightning

#4 Singles Match
They seemed to have fun last week but Agnes was buzzkill. Let’s just let em fight it out.
Sgt. Sprinklez vs. Cock Thunder

#5 Texas Deathmatch
Suplex Goddess didn’t take Grace DQing herself well. Now it’s time for a match where you not only gotta lose, you gotta die.
Grace Thoruson vs. Suplex Goddess of Destruction, Motherfuckers!

#6 Three-Way
Man, I hope somoene finally makes Sexton bleed again. Maybe chairshots and headbutts will do the trick.
EGO vs. Sexton Blud (x) vs. Plumeria

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Harley fought hard for this. But she’ll have to fight just as hard to keep it.
Lea Lionheart vs. Harley Havik ©

#8 Legion Tag Titles
I’d be hyped for a lenghty Fun Gang reign, but these Cavemen are not to joked with.
Caveman Connection vs. The Fun Gang ©

#9 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Isabel’s first big chance. But Fomore is ever eager to prove themself.
Isabel Ibarra vs. Fomore ©

Week 128: NIGHTMARE FICTION - (Twitch VOD)

Week 129: Cosplay is Fun
Saturday, same time as always. And shocking the entire world, we even got some matches lined up. Check em out.

#1 Singles Match
that’ll teach ya to run into the corner and fall over, kid! j/k do carry on
Dicky P vs. Vacation Skeleton

#2 Tag Team Match
Both teams have a tag title reign that’s 6 defenses long and we’re giving this away for free.
Team Skull Grunts vs. Maya and Kelsey

#3 Singles Match
I didn’t consider this when booking but we good the old airborne vs. grounded dynamic going.
Kayu Zakisaka vs. Austin Ramon

#4 Singles Match
Pokemon is an Anime. Just saying.
Anna May vs. Sexton Blud (x)

#5 Four-Way (Elimination)
Wow, this match is kinda loaded! What’s up with that? No, really, I don’t know.
Harmony Gray vs. Ricc 2 Thicc vs. Freddie Hope vs. Muscle Wizard

#6 Singles Match
Go ASS! Face the blaze of Justice!
Arcade Legend ASS vs. Blaze Rider

#7 Darkweight Championship
In this match… someone’s gonna bleed. Wonder who.
Steve Dirt vs. Lea Lionheart ©

Week 129: Cosplay is Fun - (Twitch VOD)
Well that sure happened.

We got another show coming today though.

Week 130: Unshackled - (Twitch VOD)

Week 131: The Animes Strike Back? - 2nd October 2021 - 22:00 GMT+2

Well last show sure happened. There were things. Things that I don’t want to see repeated.

Oh!

Hopefully this update goes live, ideally before the next show.

We will run the matches back, rest assured. But that’s for the PPV. For now behold this week’s match card!

#1 Singles Match
Changes of Dash getting kicked in the nuts: high.
Dash Rendar vs. Josef Dub

#2 Singles Match
One of them surfs on a chair, the other breaks your limbs with it.
Surfborg vs. Plumeria

#3 Singles Match
Rick Wreckage mo like Rick Wrecked.
Abby Lawrence vs. Rick Wreckage

#4 Tag Team Match
CS winning by DQ ruined our usual booking of letting the winner of the tag match get a shot. Hopefully they don’t do it again.
Criminal Sanity vs. Wizards Not Allowed

#5 Singles Match
Yeah, just giving away the two Hellweight Champs with four defenses for free.
Pantha vs. Grace Thoruson

#6 Hellweight No. 1 Contender Match
I always root for the underdog. So whoever is not Suzan.
Suzan Blades vs. Kayu Zakisaka

#7 Legion Tag Championships
FOB get a shot because at least half the team (Doc) has won their last tag match… 16 episodes ago.
Fallout Boys vs. Caveman Connection

Week 131: The Animes Strike Back? - (Twitch VOD)

Week 132: AN ETERNAL CURSE UPON US - 9th October 2021 - 22:00 GMT+2

#1 Exploding Cage Deathmatch
KAG teams up with anime killing vetaran Palpy to destroy anime.
Kill Anime Girls and Palpatine vs. Mina Park and Anna May

#2 Seven Deadly Pins
Flash… aaa-AAAAH!
Mr. Shakedown vs. Supreme Sadim vs. Koji Kojinaka vs. Spitbal vs. Danny V5 vs. Family Man vs. Skullistair vs. Flash Hammer (c)

#3 Singles Match
Genies and people called Midas are both no strangers to curses so this is a good match for this show.
Kayu Zakisaka vs. Midas Minoson

#4 Tag Team Match
Running it back. But will it be better this time?
Team Skull Grunts vs. Maya and Kelsey

#5 Singles Match
Oh, another runback. What will happen? I don’t know.
Arcade Legend ASS vs. Blaze Rider

#6 Legion Tag Championships
Our entire Tag contendership spiel for this month went belly-up.
Pineapple Pizza vs. Caveman Connection (c)

#7 Darkweight Championship
Kickin’ blood!
Sapp Ledesma vs. Steve Dirt (c)

#8 Hellweight Championship
Suzan gets another chance to reclaim the ultimate prize.
Suzan Blades vs. Fomore (c)

Week 132: AN ETERNAL CURSE UPON US - (Twitch VOD)
Try guessing which one was the cursed match before looking at the results.

Week 133: Return of Ref - 16th October 2021 - 22:00 GMT+2

Well, I shouldn’t have called the last show a cursed show and not expected something “cursed” to happen. So this time let’s call it something we want to happen.

#1 Four Way Elimination
Look at these four, they’re gonna do great!
Great Maharaja vs. Boob Marley vs. Guzma vs. Vacation Skeleton

#2 Tag Team Match
Angus’ first match since he lost the Darkweight and RBF’s first tag match in a while.
The Union (Angus + Josef) vs. Real Beer Float

#3 Singles Match
Shockingly in his quest to face Freddie he hasn’t faced Tara yet.
Tara Milleneon vs. Not Your God

#4 Singles Match
Fresh off of a 7DP Reign, let’s see if he can beat Kayu.
Flash Hammer vs. Kayu Zakisaka

#5 Tag Team Match
Anime hating jerks… I wonder does Pink count as an anime girl?
Goatcorp. Enforcers vs. Team Skull Grunts

#6 Singles Match
This one should be a slamfest.
Pantha vs. Supreme Sadim

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
ASS has finally risen to get a chance much like Kayu did in the past.
Arcade Legend ASS vs. Steve Dirt

Week 133: Return of Ref (Twitch VOD)

Average Match Time Total: 18:31, sounds reasonable.
Average Match Time this episode: 25:41, Yeah… I dunno. For our opener, feel free to simply read the results.

Week 134: JD3 - 23rd October 2021 - 22:00 GMT+2

Once more we’re nearing Judgement Night so we gotta do the Gorefest thing and some other stuff.
Here’s the card for this weekend’s show.

#1 Singles Match
Oh uh… that guy hasn’t showed up in a while
Malfest Goat-Monster vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

#2 Singles Match
Can Danny withstand the knee?
Harley Havik vs. Danny V5

#3 Three-Way
One of these is not like the other. (It’s Thunder)
Sexton Blud vs. Cock Thunder vs. Pig Destroyer

#4 Singles Match
Two badasses who recently went through some changes, what’s not to love?
Harmony Gray vs. Abby Lawrence

#5 Singles Match
You took my finisher. I’ll take your life.
Sgt. Sprinklez vs. Josef Dub

#6 Bloodtober Gorefest Qualifier
Both have been in the Gorefest before. But only one can bake it back in.
Rick Wreckage vs. Hobo One Kevodki

#7 Legion Tag Team Champions
Is Cheese Pietzza an anime girl?
Goatcorp. (x) vs. Pineapple Pizza (c)

Week 134: JD3 - (Twitch VOD)
The RNG has not been kind to us as of late, but I don’t dare to fuck with it because I know the moment I do the RNG will correct course and make it so all our matches go to a one hour time limit draw.