Week 119: Kelsey and Maya must Die
#1 Singles Match
Both of their names start in G. And one of them is a bear.
Great Maharaja vs. Grace Thoruson
Grace defeats Maharaja in 17:08 via Submission with that one move Grace keeps winning with (Modified Single Leg Boston Crab)
I can’t believe it took Grace this long to take out a bear but I think this might have been on her bucket list so maybe she was just trying to enjoy it as much as possible. Maybe we have to push Maharaja now, I dunno.
Scene: Tara leaves a room makred “Production”. She found a list of people to be in the next Seven Deadly Pins against VACANT and inserts herself into the match by asking IGgy real nice.
#2 Singles Match
Edgy goth boi and a horned chad with a heart of literal gold.
Not Your God vs. Midas Minoson
Midas defeats NYG in 15:49 by Knockout after the explosion triggered after 15 Minutes.
Because that’s right, this was a Barbed Wire Explosion Deathmatch
This was exactly what you’d expect of the two but then they both exploded. Well, Midas got back up from it and NYG didn’t so the match goes to Midas.
#3 Singles Match
The Ace goes against that evil Pokemon dude, holy crap!
Koji Kojinaka vs. Guzma
Guzma defeats Koji in 16:49 via Pinfall after a Rolling Lariat
There’s a pretty high chance that Plumeria’s interference actually cost Koji the match. We won’t know if Guzma tapped or not because the ref was too busy chatting up Plumeria.
#4 Legion Tag Team No. 1 Contender Match
CS more or less earned this by beating Fun Gang. But the Grunts are the gods of this shit.
Criminal Sanity vs. Team Skull (Grunts)
Criminal Sanity defeat the Grunts in 26:46 via Pinfall after EGO hit Super Ego Flying High on Blue
A really good tag match all things considered. The Grunts had it under control for most of the match until they abandoned their plan of keeping it in their corner for no good reason and just went around and did a couple of moves and then were overpowered.
Scene: Tara approaches Spitbal, who according to her list is in the Seven Deadly Pins match next week. She’s trying to form an alliance, and in fact has already convinced some others. Spitbal agrees as well.
#5 Darkweight Title No. Contender Match
I’m honestly not sure who the underdog is here. But Angus’ reign needs to end.
Kayu Zakisaka vs. Freddie Hope
Kayu defeats Freddie in 7:05 via Pinfall with the Mahou Magical Splash.
Real fast paced match here. Both went hard out the gate, near falls here and there, going into murder mode, both of them, but Kayu was able to stay on top and gets to face Angus next week.
#6 Hellweight No. 1 Contender Match
Last time they it was for the title. Fomore came out on top there but that was nearly two years ago…
Fomore vs. Pantha
Fomore defeats Pantha in 26:42 via Submission with Key Lock Armbar
Opposed to the previous match took its time to ramp up. They’ve faced each other before maybe they knew it’d be better to pace themselves, I don’t know. Both of them brought their heavy hitters, though for some reason Fomore never pinned after the Vertebreaker/Kudome Valentine/Kudo Driver/Copkilla/ACAB/Din’s Fire/Cop Caller/Reverse Gory Special Driver. Wow that mvoe has many names.
#7 Legion Tag Championships
Well damn. Kelsey and Maya are still champs. This is kinda nuts. This is their fifth defense. Let’s see what the Cavemen can do about it.
Caveman Connection vs. Kelsey and Maya
Kelsey and Maya win in 52:33 via Submission when Kelsey locks a Calf Crusher on Ungaah
This match was cursed and I don’t wanna talk about it, just look at how long this is, holy fuck. Maybe I could salvage this with editing but I don’t want to. Kelsey and Maya should have lost this for their refusal to tag alone.
Scene: Tara, still on her quest to rally as many people against VACANT as possible, tries to get Malfest Goat-Monster on her side. Needless to say it doesn’t work, MGMon beats up Tara in the Goat-Dimension. It was worth a shot I guess.
