Week 118: VACANT Must Die
#1 Singles Match
Finally they clash 1 on 1. Winner graduates from jobberdom. Maybe there’s chance for an ass-based team still.
Suman vs. Great Maharaja
Great Maharaja defeats Suman in 15:37 via pinfall after a Lifting Choke Bomb
For the first time in their lives they had a competitive match. That’s not true. We call them jobbers but it’s not like they haven’t held their own before. But they really had their back and forth here. First Suman no-sold everything Maharaja did but that exhausted him and he got gassed out. As the match went on the roles were reversed until finally Suman was not able to kick out of Maharaja’s Lifting Choke Bomb
#2 Singles Match
Florida Man challenges wrestling wiki. Gets hit with obscure trivia.
Florida Man vs. Manic Misanthrope
Florida Man defeats Manic in 13:18 via pinfall after the Dick Drivah
Woah, I think I called it before the match when I said Florida Man was too dumb for Manic’s obscure trivia to have any effect. Then again, I don’t think Manic even did the Obscure Trivia Suplex. The must funny thing is that I was trying to bury Florida Man’s finisher as he was doing it and won with it.
#3 Singles Match
My logic for booking this is that they both wear blue
Sapp Ledesma vs. Danny V5
Danny V5 defeats Sapp Ledesma in 13:45 via Pinfall with a Reincarnation (Satellite Headscissors Roll-Up)
This match did not feel as short as it was. It could have gone either way until the end. There were a lot of strikes from both sides, mostly kicks. Where they differed was everything else they did. Danny focused on agility and technique while Sapp focused on strength and on that day it just turns out that Danny was able to come out on top with a little finesse. I have a feeling that next time could be different, though.
#4 Tag Team Match
Which 2-4 members of each team will partake? I dunno, we’ll see.
The Fun Gang (x) vs. Criminal Sanity
Criminal Sanity defeats The Fung Gang in 20:21 when Mr. Shakedown submits Skullistair with the Wallet Squeeze
God damn it, Fun Gang! Everyone from your team in this match does Canadian Destroyers and yet we didn’t really see a satisfactory amount of them. The match concluded when Skullistair, who’d ben active in this match a lot, faced Mr. Shakedown who barely saw any action so far and the Wallet Squeeze was locked in.
#5 Singles Match
Stop! He’s got a family!
Tara Milleneon vs. Family Man
Tara defeats Family Man in 13:34 via Submission with a Modified Single Leg Boston Crab (That Move Grace Keeps Winning With (TMGKWW)
Oh shit. Tara showed no Mercy whatsoever. Hitting hard from the very start. Family Man made a brief comeback when unlocking Shin Family Man. But at that point it was already too late. She locked in That Move Grace Keeps Winning With ™ and submitted Shin Family Man
#6 Singles Match
This is actually the third time they wrestle. Kayu is two down. But their last singles encounter was almost two years ago…
Kayu Zakisaka vs. Undeddie Guerrero
Kayu eliminates Undeddie in 13:39 via Pinfall with the Mahou Magical Splash
After some back and forth in this match Undeddie took control. Even hitting the Frog Splash multiple times. After the third or so Kayu just kind of awakened and decided she was gonna win. Got up immediately and hit all kinds of violence on Undeddie until finally hitting her own Splash. However it’s not a Frog Splash it’s a Magical Girl Splash for the three-count.
#7 Seven Deadly Pins
I think maybe with someone like Ricc in the match we can dethrone VACANT.
Pine Appel vs. Plumeria vs. Ricc 2 Thicc vs. Lea Lionheart vs. Sexton Blud vs. Nawt A Robutt vs. Steve Dirt vs. VACANT (c)
Sexton Blud eliminates Plumeria in 6:44 via Knockout with the Jackhammer Rolling Pin
Steve Dirt eliminates Lea Lionheart in 12:12 via Pinfall after the Blood’n’Gutbuster
VACANT eliminates Pine Appel in 13:08 via Submission with a Fujiwara Armbar
VACANT eliminates Steve Dirt in 18:25 vis Pinfall after an Izuna Drop
Ricc 2 Thicc eliminates Nawt A Robutt in 21:09 via Pinfall with a Thicctory Roll-Up
VACANT eliminates Ricc 2 Thicc in 23:50 via Pinfall with Croyt’s Wrath
VACANT eliminates Sexton Blud in 25:43 via Pinfall with Croyt’s Wrath
As you can see, tragically, we were not able to kill VACANT. Perhaps things would have been different if Sexton had started bleeding… but alas…
