Week 113: Submission Masters
This time again at the normal time instead of an hour early. And the Seven Deadly Pins will likely have no pins and only have submissions this time.
#1 Singles Match
I could swear this happened before but it did not. Here’s our hot opener
Danny V5 vs. Isabel Ibarra
A few weeks back Isabel pinned Danny in a tag match, earning her the Pokeymanz title from him. However, as you may know, we don’t actually recognize that title so I booked this match having forgotten that Danny lost the title. Thankfully I remembered before the show. Anyway, they had a nice little back and forth until Isabel decided to show that youngster how to flip properly.
#2 Tag Team Match
The match of the Asses of legend did not go well for Suman. Can he make a comeback by resisting the kicks of Sapp and Harley? Also, there’s a bear.
Sapp Ledesma & Harley Havik vs. Great Maharaja & Suman
I don’t think we’ve seen either Maharaja or Suman this animated in a while. If ever. They gave Sapp and Harley a run for their money with Harley often forgetting this is a tag match and that she can tag out. They did end up working together and it culminated in Sapp hitting his Vertical Neckbreaker into a Brainbuster on Maharaja. And this time it only took one.
#3 Singles? Match
This is weird. The Clown showed up in my office and said honk then the engineer yelled a bunch and dragged him out and didn’t use the door. I’ll decide which of these things I found more annoying on the show.
Whichever member of Wizards Not Allowed annoys me more at the time. vs. Spitbal
It was George vs. Spitbal. Before the match we tried to remember how many singles matches George has been in. It turns out this was his fourth. Though, two of his previous ones were against VACANT. Considering the relative lack of experience here the match was very competitive. But Spitbal still came out on top and was able to pin the Cluwne.
#4 Singles MAtch
I love my David vs. Goliath stories. Just never gets old
Kayu Zakisaka vs. Midas Minoson
For whatever reason, matches with Midas in them have a tendency to go long. Thankfully this match had a long but reasonable length. Not more than an hour. One might say that Kayu would have won if it hadn’t been for these pesky ropes and their rope breaks but the bottom line is that Midas pinned Kayu after an Ushigoroshi. It’s almost as if the Ushigoroshi is the secondary OHPDub Special or something. A lot of people seem to have it.
#5 Singles Match
These two have never faced each other in singles competition in OHPW. They have in LPFWA, though.
DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Grace Thoruson
In LPFWA Grace was able to beat DCB much more easily. But since then DCB has grown, and she’s also pissed this time. What Grace did to Harmony the week before must have really upset her. So she really brought out all the big guns and even forewent The Transitional Move going straight for her Corner run-up Shiranui that she calls the Espresso Shot. But it was not enough to keep the former Ace down. It took her 19 minutes but eventually, Grace could overwhelm DCB and submit her. After the match, Grace continued attacking DCB. It seems this is not just a Danger Spider dispute that escalated but something inside Grace has snapped.
#6 Singles Match
After Fomore tapped out four people in quick succession last week I’m sure they can tap out Shakedown at least once in a normal match
Mr. Shakedown vs. Fomore
Fuck! What the hell are you doing, we’re not even in the Tokyo Dome (I mean, in-game we use the venue modeled after the Tokyo Dome but don’t tell that to anyone). The two bastards went for 28 minutes and 49 seconds. In this time they fought out of each other’s submission finishers multiple times. There were Wallet Squeezes, Triangle Lance Locks, Modified Cavernarias, Handshakes gone wrong and more. After they broke each other’s backs and arms and legs eventually Fomore was able to bring Mr. Shakedown to his breaking point and win via submission.
#7 Seven Deadly Pins
Facing VACANT are a bunch of people who have a submission finisher, specialize in submissions or both.
A Mimic vs. Boob Marley vs. Not Your God vs. EGO vs. Haz Matt vs. Cheese Pietzza vs. Austin Ramon vs. VACANT (c)
Boob did absolutely no Sunken Chests in this one. In fact, I’m not sure he’s done anything in this match. Maybe he realized that in a match with VACANT it’s best to be eliminated first. Although we had eight people in this match the main story of it seemed to play out after cheese Pietzza was eliminated at around the 22 minute mark. For the next 15 minutes, more or less, Ego and Haz Matt beat each other up while VACANT watched. Matt took a lot of damage before in the match and still somehow didn’t submit to anything. EGO just kinda beat up on Matt for all this time until Matt put Ego in the Containment Unit probably more fueled by spite than anything else, making EGO tap. Now it was between a completely wrecked Haz Matt and VACANT. VACANT simply toyed with his food for 1-2 minutes before finishing it, retaining the Seven Deadly Pins again, becoming the second person next to Flamander to have successfully defended this title twice during a reign.
