Week 107: Look at this team! We’re gonna do great!
Waoh, just one week till the PPV, but look at this card, though.
#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
In your head, in your head, they are fighting… with their slams, and their drivers and their… oh wait, one of them isn’t even a zombie yet.
Agnes Paragon (“c”) vs. Undeddie Guerrero
Agnes tried really hard to keep this match slow and unexciting but she did not expect Undeddie’s determination. Then the ring exploded and… what both of them are still standing and fighting! Undeddie must have sparked something in Agnes. However, after a few more minutes Undeddie locks in the Lasso from El Paso and Agnes has to submit.
#2 Singles Match
Two nice ladies and both of them like to fly. This can only go well.
Lea Lionheart vs. Blaze Rider
What the hell? This is still barbed wire! Ah well, let’s just roll with it. These two did essentially what they both do best, although with some limitations due to the fact that they can’t climb the corners. However, Explosion-Chan interferes at exactly 15:00 Minutes knocking them both out.
#3 Tag Team Match
It’s the Bloodtober Gorefest peeps! (Also Family Man)
Steve Dirt & Family Man vs. Kelsey & Maya
And again with the barbed wire… Explosion-Chan is throwing some kind of tantrum for some reason and forces the exploding barbed wire and explosion timer on all the matches. Of course, two out of three people in this match are no stranger to this kind of insanity, which is why it’s no surprise that Family Man, the one person not familiar with this, is the one to take the fall, being submitted by Kelsey before the explosion can happen.
#4 Singles Match
Destroyers and spinny Brainbusters, we got it all in this one match.
Skullistair vs. Nawt A Robutt
Yup, still barbed wire explosion town. Opposed to the previous match where the people were exprienced enough to end this quick and avoid the explosion, here they just didn’t care if they blow up. So they did all their moves and shit like in a normal match. And then they exploded.
#5 Singles Match
We’re bringing you that Joshi vs. Exotico action!
Kayu Zakisaka vs. Bone Idol
We are still trying to get Explosion-Chan to stop the madness but she is very upset at something. Kayu and Bone Idol have their fight and it appears Bone Idol has the upper hand mostly, however, Death Match Kayu is bound to reveal herself, given enough time. However, we only have 15 minutes before the explosion. And oh… Bone Tugging Harmony! Kayu submits. Maybe one day Death Match Kayu will return, but not today.
#6 Singles Match
Could it be? That Ricc is truly too thicc for NYG?
Not Your God vs. Ricc 2 Thicc
We have now found Explosion-chan and are trying to reason with her. However, this match will still be Barbend Wire. NYG tries to keep Ricc grounded, however, Ricc is also a ground type, just not submission but power based. This is going back and forth until the ring explodes and Ricc remains standing.
#7 Legion Tag Championships
PP are now four five time champs. That’s impressive. SoS only held the titles two times.
School of Slam vs. Pineapple Pizza (c)
We have successfully negotiated with Explosion-chan and she will not be punished for her actions. It was decided that the Jabroni Royale will no longer be held after the coming PPV, and aside from IGgy and Satan, Explosion-Chan was the first to learn. I just didn’t expect SATAN to tell it to her during a show so she can run around with a toast in her mouth that gets more and more charred as she is trying to escape from us while also exploding more people. Ah well. This match can go forward now. SoS and PP having another one. Although, it’s still the longest match on the show by only 9 seconds it still feels like it had an abrupt end when Sadim locked the Humble Maker on Cheese Pietzza to earn them the title another time.
