OHPW - Business May Die [Fire Pro Wrestling World]

IGgy · March 14, 2021, 12:16pm

Match Card and Results:

Week 106: Die

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Hayley got sat on so hard she got nocked out so here we are.
Agnes Paragon (“c”) vs. Hayley Simmons

The age and size difference was on Hayleys side. Agnes did her hardest to make this match as boring as possible to draw in the 50+ demo. Hayley, realizing that she has limited options in the ring to remedy that she had to end this as quickly as possible and did.

#2 Singles Match
Guess we’ll finally hear Josef’s new theme.
Anna May vs. Josef Dub

This match was just rude. I mean, it was what you’d expect until a certain point. Josef STEALS the crunchyroll and defeats Anna May with it. I mean, him stealing Palpy’s theme is one thing that I welcome wholeheartedly, but actually beating someone with their own finisher is low. And knowing Josef he’ll try to keep it.

#3 Singles Match
rip dicky p
Richardson Peterson vs. Mr. Shakedown

We all hoped Dicky P would go down within minutes and technically he did. But the amount of minutes was much higher than anticipated. Most of that is owed to Mr. Shakedown toying with him for extended periods before putting an end to the beatdown.

#4 Three-Way
Player, game and the blood.
Steve Dirt vs. Guzma vs. Arcade Legend ASS vs. Quackenduckboy Jr.

I’m afraid this might become a recurring theme but Duckbaby won retaining the accursed Pokeymanz title that does hell knows what to his innocent soul. This is like way back in the early oughts when the Pokemon craze reached full force only this time it’s something to actually worry about.

#5 Singles Match
Pretty sure Tara’s no cop. So if she loses it’s actually because Pig Destroyers finisher is a Reverse Hanging Piledriver that sometimes escalates to the Gory Special Piledriver, sometimes known as the Copkilla, and heads are the weak points of most humans.
Tara Milleneon vs. Pig Destroyer

This match was short but intense. Pig Destroyer slapped the shit out of Tara but that only made Tara angrier and thus stronger, allowing her to eventually win with Fuck Time and Fuck You Too!

#6 Singles Match
Aint no Dracula.
Fomore vs. Koji Kojinaka

This was a battle of technical masterminds. But only one of them knows the art of offering a handshake and transitioning into an armbar from there. And that is why Fomore won.

#7 Underworld Darkweight Title
This is Danny’s second chance to win the Darkweight Title and he’s only up against the person who’s currently the top ranked wrestler in OHPW due to winning the Tournament. Let’s see how far Angus can elevate this title… or Danny V5
Danny V5 vs. Angus McMutton (c)

Where as Danny usually burns bright but quick, in these big matches he shows how hungry he truly is and wrestles in a way only someone who’s still young enough to have infinite energy can. However, Angus’ experience and hard head still won in the end. But this battle was much harder fought than anyone hoped for.