OHPW - Business May Die [Fire Pro Wrestling World]

IGgy · January 27, 2021, 5:31pm

Woah! We’re doing a tournament again. 31 of our finest and Dash will face each other to determine who’s da best! The prize? The winner may book any single match you want. Can include them, doesn’t have to. The only restriction is that they cannot book anyone to challenge for a title if they already hold a title as double champions are stupid, eat shit Naito and EVIL and… is it Ibushi now? I don’t know. Anyway, let’s check out the brackets.

Yeah, Harmony vs. Pantha is just gonna kinda happen in round 1 like it’s some kinda appetizer. Please make sure to get in your predictions just go click on this text here and then click on that button that says something about making a prediction. There’s nothing at stake here, this is just for fun. So do it, or don’t but it’ll be cooler if you do.

We’ll also mix up the show a little until then. Jabroni Royale? It’s fun, I get it, but it happened on every show so far, including last year throughout the tournament. Which makes it the only “Title” defended on every single show so far. Until now. That’s right, it’s on a hiatus until the tournament is over. So let’s have a look at what I got cookin’

#1 VACANT Fuck You Challenge
Tara is pissed she’s not in the tournament. So let’s watch her get her ass kicked by VACANT
Tara Milleneon vs. VACANT

#2 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Skullistair vs. Vacation Skeleton

#3 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Kayu Zakisaka

#4 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Black vs. Guzma

#5 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Angus McMutton vs. Bone Idol

#6 Fuck if I know, something goes here. It’ll be a surprise, I guess.
Smeone vs. Someon vs. fuck? vs. I don’t even know, come on. VERSUS ???

#7 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Hellranger Flamander vs. Cock Lightning

#8 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Dash Rendar vs. Steve Dirt

#9 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Fomore vs. Danny V5

#10 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Mr. Shakedown vs. Manic Misanthrope

IGgy · February 10, 2021, 3:39pm

All right. Two shows this week. I’m still calling them Week 101 and Week 102 even though they are in the same week. Because I can do that, haha, deal with it.

But first, last week the National E-Wrestling Day happened and I had a showcase in, which you can watch here

It’s the first episode of a side project that’ll air as a pre-show to AES shows. I’ll be doing this whenever I can be assed to do it.
And it got a way better reaction than I expected.

Well, below you can find the match cards for the first two nights of our Tournament (for which you can still make predictions if you wanna)
We’ll be doing Friday and Saturday at our regular time. Aa always clicking on the links with the episode numbers and titles will show you the exact time in your local time zone because time is bullshit.

Week 101: Road to Hellfire I

Woah! We’re doing a tournament again. 31 of our finest and Dash will face each other to determine who’s da best! The prize? The winner may book any single match you want. Can include them, doesn’t have to. The only restriction is that they cannot book anyone to challenge for a title if they already hold a title as double champions are stupid, eat shit Naito and EVIL and… is it Ibushi now? I don’t know. Anyway, let’s check out the brackets.

Yeah, Harmony vs. Pantha is just gonna kinda happen in round 1 like it’s some kinda appetizer. Please make sure to get in your predictions just go click on this text here and then click on that button that says something about making a prediction. There’s nothing at stake here, this is just for fun. So do it, or don’t but it’ll be cooler if you do.

We’ll also mix up the show a little until then. Jabroni Royale? It’s fun, I get it, but it happened on every show so far, including last year throughout the tournament. Which makes it the only “Title” defended on every single show so far. Until now. That’s right, it’s on a hiatus until the tournament is over. So let’s have a look at what I got cookin’

Round 1 - Night 1

#1 VACANT Fuck You Challenge
Tara is pissed she’s not in the tournament. So let’s watch her get her ass kicked by VACANT
Tara Milleneon vs. VACANT

#2 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Skullistair vs. Vacation Skeleton

#3 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Kayu Zakisaka

#4 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Black vs. Guzma

#5 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Angus McMutton vs. Bone Idol

#6 Fuck if I know, something goes here. It’ll be a surprise, I guess.
Smeone vs. Someon vs. fuck? vs. I don’t even know, come on. VERSUS ???

#7 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Hellranger Flamander vs. Cock Lightning

#8 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Dash Rendar vs. Steve Dirt

#9 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Fomore vs. Danny V5

#10 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Mr. Shakedown vs. Manic Misanthrope

IGgy · February 12, 2021, 8:44pm

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Tara Milleneon vs. VACANT
#2 Skullistair vs. Vacation Skeleton
#3 Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Kayu Zakisaka
#4 Black vs. Guzma
#5 Angus McMutton vs. Bone Idol
#6 Brork Lorsnor vs. Chad & Virgin
#7 Hellranger Flamander vs. Cock Lightning
#8 Dash Rendar vs. Steve Dirt
#9 Fomore vs. Danny V5
#10 Mr. Shakedown vs. Manic Misanthrope

IGgy · February 13, 2021, 11:33am

Week 101: Road to Hellfire I - (Twitch VOD)

Week 101: Road to Hellfire I

Woah! We’re doing a tournament again. 31 of our finest and Dash will face each other to determine who’s da best! The prize? The winner may book any single match you want. Can include them, doesn’t have to. The only restriction is that they cannot book anyone to challenge for a title if they already hold a title as double champions are stupid, eat shit Naito and EVIL and… is it Ibushi now? I don’t know. Anyway, let’s check out the brackets.

Yeah, Harmony vs. Pantha is just gonna kinda happen in round 1 like it’s some kinda appetizer. Please make sure to get in your predictions just go click on this text here and then click on that button that says something about making a prediction. There’s nothing at stake here, this is just for fun. So do it, or don’t but it’ll be cooler if you do.

We’ll also mix up the show a little until then. Jabroni Royale? It’s fun, I get it, but it happened on every show so far, including last year throughout the tournament. Which makes it the only “Title” defended on every single show so far. Until now. That’s right, it’s on a hiatus until the tournament is over. So let’s have a look at what I got cookin’

Round 1 - Night 1

#1 VACANT Fuck You Challenge
Tara is pissed she’s not in the tournament. So let’s watch her get her ass kicked by VACANT
Tara Milleneon vs. VACANT

Surprise Motherfuckers! It’s not Tara Milleneon coming out but Tara McFly, her younger self. No one really knows what behooves her to come here and challenge VACANT of all people like this but you can assume she wanted to remind people that she existed, not being fully aware of what’s actually going on due to constantly jumping to different places in time. Well, turns out when VACANT declared the Fuck You challenge he really meant he’s gonna go super nuts and went right to tearing Tara’s arms off. Oof. Well, we are living in a society at the end of time so your technology can handle it but this is still fucked up. Well. here actually comes Tara Milleneon. Naturally, she knew this was going to happen, having knowledge of her past and the present. Maybe even the future. Finally we know why she got shiny metal arms, though. Well, she proceeds to put all that pent up piss and vinegar in her blood from having to wait this long for this to make sense to beat the everloving shit out of VACANT and faring better against him than most people would. However, this doesn’t mean Tara won. VACANT beats Tara after three Burning Hammers. the first was too close to the ropes, the second was on the outside, the final one was in the center of the ring. 1-2-3.

#2 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Skullistair vs. Vacation Skeleton

I was hoping for more from this one to be honest. I mean, they did some dumb shit too but I wanted the big epic battle of skeletons to happen! Ah well… Vacation Skeleton finally, after over two years of never doing their finisher, does their finisher. And it’s literally just a top-rope tombstone piledriver. For the win, though!

#3 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Kayu Zakisaka

Oh, this one’s building towards something great. Kayu takes control early on, which MGMon wrestles back, but Kayu shows she wants this. However, MGM outta nowhere knocks Kayu out cold! It’s came as a shock but this is what the Goat Monster is all about. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of for Kayu.

#4 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Black vs. Guzma

Going into this match we said that Guzma had beat Black before and I could swear that it happened. But it did in fact not happen. This is actually the first time they met in a singles match. All the more surprising to see Guzma holding his own for long enough for Black to decide to use the Double Blackout to put Guzma down for good. In the next round Black will have to face Malfest Goat-Monster. It’s gonna be a hoss off!

#5 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Angus McMutton vs. Bone Idol

Match of the Night, what can I say. This got extremely exciting as it went on. It ended up being the longest match on the card at 31:27 Minutes. Bone Idol got so close multiple times with the Bone Zone and Bone Tugging Harmony but due to the wear and tear of this war they were having wasn’t able to capitalize most of the time. At some point this match devolved into them just beating the shit out of each other repeatedly. Finally this match draws to a close after a Ripcord Tru Bru from Angus to seal the deal. This match definitely showed as what Bone Idol is capable of, though, to have a match like this with someone who earned the Hellweight Championship at one point.

#6 Fuck if I know, something goes here. It’ll be a surprise, I guess.

Brork Lorsnor vs. Chad and Virgin
Oh cool a handicap match. It was gross though. Brork just threw Chad and the Virgin around for a while and eventually it became so disgusting that Chad didn’t even come for the save anymore to mercifully end it.

#7 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Hellranger Flamander vs. Cock Lightning

Despite both of them being a bit smaller in size this and featuring an agility based style this match ended up being a slamfest. Lightning struck multiple times, and Flamander elected to show Lightning his place but using the Wormcrusher repeatedly instead of trying to win with The Snake. Eventually Lightning wasn’t able to kick out of it anymore, making Flamander advance. Flamander moves on to face Vacation Skeleton in Round 2.

#8 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Dash Rendar vs. Steve Dirt

Well, shit. Steve Dirt pulled an Undyne the Undying in this match. If you don’t know what this means don’t worry about it. Essentially, Steve refused to stay down. He was held together by the hopes and dreams of… well, mostly me. But everyone else who hates Dash too. We all believed so hard that despite all this punishment Steve could still vanquish Dash. But we were wrong. After a particularly devastating Shadows of the Empire Steve is unable to continue and the ref stops the match.

#9 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Fomore vs. Danny V5

There’s a very obvious contrast of styles in this one. You got Fomore using a mix of holds and impactful moves. Somehow doing the freaking ACAB / Vertebreaker right at the start of the match. What the fuck. Over the course of the match Danny V5 then did two Emerald Flowsions, throwing Fomore out of the ring each time. After a while Danny just decides to do flips repeatedly until it’s enough and Fomore stays down for a 3-count. Let’s see if Danny can repeat an upset victory in the next round against Dash Rendar.

#10 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 1
Mr. Shakedown vs. Manic Misanthrope

This match had the promise to become a real banger if only it wasn’t for Shakedowns one weakness: His cardio. He got gassed out and Manic capitalized with an Obscure Trivia Suplex and advances to the next round. Where he will face none other than Angus McMutton

With that, let’s look at the current standings.

We still got the other half of round 1 to decide, so below is the match card for… wow, today!

Week 102: Road to Hellfire II

Round 1 - Night 2

#1 VACANT Fuck You Challenge
CANCELLED due to excessive violence by VACANT. We are working on finding a replacement for our non-tournament openers.

#2 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 1
Ricc 2 Thicc vs. Blaze Rider

#3 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 1
Not Your God vs. Nawt A Robutt

#4 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 1
Cock Thunder vs. Palpatine

#5 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 1
Suzan Blades vs. Lea Lionheart

#6 Well shit, don’t ask me.
I don’t even know yet, come on! vs. yeah. vs fuck and piss

#7 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 1
Spitbal vs. Isabel Ibarra

#8 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 1
Grace Thoruson vs. Sexton Blud

#9 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 1
Freddie Hope vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

#10 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 1
Harmony Gray vs. Pantha

IGgy · February 13, 2021, 8:44pm

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Ricc 2 Thicc vs. Blaze Rider
#2 Not Your God vs. Nawt A Robutt
#3 Cock Thunder vs. Palpatine
#4 Suzan Blades vs. Lea Lionheart
#5 A Lucha Rules Tag match.
#6 Spitbal vs. Isabel Ibarra
#7 Grace Thoruson vs. Sexton Blud
#8 Freddie Hope vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
#9 Harmony Gray vs. Pantha

IGgy · February 14, 2021, 11:20am

Week 102: Road to Hellfire II - (Twitch VOD)

Week 102: Road to Hellfire II

Round 1 - Night 2

#1 VACANT Fuck You Challenge
CANCELLED due to excessive violence by VACANT. We are working on finding a replacement for our non-tournament openers.

Scene: [spoiler]Some guy called Johnny Fuckyou shows up and acts like the VACANT Fuck You Challenge was calling him out specifically. He demands to face VACANT who isn’t here because he’s in time-out for tearing Tara’s arms off. So instead Majin Bob Sapp will take on Challengers

#1 SAPP TIME! Challenge
Johnny Fuckyou vs. Majin Bob Sapp
Lotsa Puncing and some throwing. Kind of what you’d expect. Johnny has a Superman Punch he calls the “Fistful of Fuck You” in his arsenal. Which he does on Sapp, who then immediately gets up, Punches him much harder, pins him and wins. Fucking buried![/spoiler]

#2 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 1
Ricc 2 Thicc vs. Blaze Rider

We see Blaze fighting formidably until Ricc decides to win via the Thicctory roll. That’s literally what it was. Classic Ricc. Too bad for Blaze Rider, she could have really come into her own in this tournament.

#3 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 1
Not Your God vs. Nawt A Robutt

Two people who are not certain things and also have very contrasting styles. They both threw their best at each other. The Tokyo Thunderwave of Death 20xx, various holds and stuff. Eventually NYG submitted Nawt A Robutt with a move I’m not trying to pronounce.

#4 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 1
Cock Thunder vs. Palpatine

Holy shit! Yes! The match was what it was, it didn’t even have the chance to blossom into anything. But the way it ended was glorious. Thunder suplexes Palpy and holds the bridge for the pin, but oh shit! It’s a rope break. So Thunder just keeps holding on for another suplex, this time releasing Palpy so he flies out of the ring and gets knocked out. Siiick!

#5 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 1
Suzan Blades vs. Lea Lionheart

This match could find its identity moreso than the previous one, but it was still mostly defined by the finish. Which had Suzan hit Knightfall, but Lea kicks out. So Suzan decides to just do another Knightfall immediately. This time for the win.

#6 Well shit, don’t ask me.

The Skeletons (Bone Idol, Vacation Skeleton, Skullistair, IGgy) vs. The Abominations (Duckbaby, Boob, F.O.E., Sans)
This was as much of a shitshow as you’d expect. This was technically Lucha Tag rules, meaning if someone lands on the outside someone else can enter the ring and become the legal person. I don’t think that became relevant, though. Anyway, fun times were had until Boob locked the Sunken Chest on Skullistair for the win. What a party pooper!

#7 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 1
Spitbal vs. Isabel Ibarra

We have not seen Isabel like this before. She just kept doing her Schoolboy Powerbomb over and over like it was going out of style and Spitbal took all this damage and still fought on. But Isabel followed with the Hijack Backbreaker, for some reason probably one of the most protected moves we have, and submitted Sptibal. However.

#8 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 1
Grace Thoruson vs. Sexton Blud

Throughout the match Grace shows her experience by not allowing a big outside brawl with Sexton to happen. Because that’s where he’s the most likely to find a way to make himself bleed. Sexton, however, still finds ways tom make Grace bleed and make er bleed hard. Which only makes her angrier and eventually destroy Sexton’s legs enough for him to surrender to That Move Grace Keeps Winning With.

#9 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 1
Freddie Hope vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

You’d call this an LPFWA throwback, but then you remember LPFWA had them in separate divisions so that couldn’t have happene.d However, the winner of this match move on to face Grace. DCB! chants are getting loud but Freddie his determined to move on in this tournament, even survives a transitional move from DCB, if only for the ropes. Freddie manages to keep DCB down for long enough after a double arm DDT to win the match.

#10 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 1
Harmony Gray vs. Pantha

These to slapped the shit out of each other and it was good. Eventually, Pantha gained the upper hand and even though the Pantha Claw could not finish it it did enough damage for Pantha to win via Pinfall with a Pantha Suplex.

Now, let’s have a look at our standings.

You can see we have some interesting matches here. Two of them are matches we’ve seen in the past.
Grace has beaten Freddie before in last year’s tournament in fact.
Then we have Ricc vs. Isabel. Ricc beat Isabel last August.
Everything else, somehow, even if it seems like it might have happened before is fresh.
So far, both the finalists of our first Tourament, Angus and Suzan as well as those of our second, Flamander and Grace, are still alive in this tournament. They are also all among the favorites to make it to the end.
We also have five unknowns in this tournament, By which I mean people who were not in it last year. This is a pretty significant shake-up. And even though he’s the underdog for sure I’m excited for Thunder’s match against Suzan.
Flamander going against Vacation Skeleton is also a big one, if only because the two characters have the same handler.
The we have a big ol hoss match in MGMon vs. Black

Here’s the predictions people have made: https://challonge.com/fif86gex/predictions
Funnily, most people’s brackets are completely destroyed only two people’s final four are still completely alive in the tournament.

IGgy · February 17, 2021, 7:46pm

Week 103: Road to Hellfire III
Time for Round 2 of the Hellfire Tournament of 2021.
It’s just this and then next week we’ll have the quarter finals, the semi finals and the finals all in one night!

#1 SAPP TIME Open Challenge
Majin Bob Sapp vs. ???

#2 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 2
Ricc 2 Thicc vs. Isabel Ibarra

#3 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 2
Dash Rendar vs. Danny V5

#4 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 2
Angus McMutton vs. Manic Misanthrope

#5 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 2
Suzan Blades vs. Cock Thunder

#6 Ah shit
At this point you know how this goes. Something goes here but I’m not telling you what.

#7 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 2
Pantha vs. Not Your God

#8 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 2
Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Black

#9 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 2
Hellranger Flamander vs. Vacation Skeleton

#10 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 2
Grace Thoruson vs. Freddie Hope

IGgy · February 20, 2021, 8:43pm

Going live and starting OHPW, in about 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
Today it’s the third night of the Hellfire Tournament

#1 SAPP TIME!
#2 Ricc 2 Thicc vs. Isabel Ibarra
#3 Dash Rendar vs. Danny V5
#4 Angus McMutton vs. Manic Misanthrope
#5 Suzan Blades vs. Cock Thunder
#6 Whatever bullshit I tought of.
#7 Pantha vs. Not Your God
#8 Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Black
#9 Hellranger Flamander vs. Vacation Skeleton
#10 Grace Thoruson vs. Freddie Hope

IGgy · February 21, 2021, 1:10pm

Week 103: Road to Hellfire III - (Twitch VOD)

Match Card and Results:

Week 103: Road to Hellfire III
Time for Round 2 of the Hellfire Tournament of 2021.
It’s just this and then next week we’ll have the quarter finals, the semi finals and the finals all in one night!

#1 SAPP TIME Open Challenge
Majin Bob Sapp vs. Harmony Gray

Harmony fought well against Majin Bob Sapp, went toe to toe with him but got his by two devastating Ultrabeast Backbreakers on the outside and eventually submitted in the middle of the ring.

#2 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 2
Ricc 2 Thicc vs. Isabel Ibarra

Isabel went balls out against Ricc. Last time she could not overcome him but this time was different. Isabel defeats Ricc 2 Thicc!

#3 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 2
Dash Rendar vs. Danny V5

The entire world was rooting for Danny to beat Dash. Deep, deep in his soul. There’s a burning feeling Danny can’t describe. A burning feeling that WON’T let him die. This isn’t just about wrestling anymore, is it? If Dash gets past him, he’ll… he’ll destroy them all, won’t he? Wrestling… Skeletons… Everyone… Everyone’s hopes. Everyone’s dreams. Vanquished in an instant. But Danny WON’T let him do that. Right now, everyone in the world… Danny can feel their hearts beating as one. And we all have ONE goal. To defeat DASH. Human. No, WHATEVER you are. For the sake of the whole world… he, DANNY V5, will strike him down! Dash is gonna have to try a little harder than THAT… And then Dash hit the Shadows of the Empire on Danny, pinning him.

#4 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 2
Angus McMutton vs. Manic Misanthrope

They both kicked out of each other’s finishers. Which elevated this match from “normal” to “real.” They hit each other and they hit each other with everything they had but eventually Manic had to realize just how hard Angus’ head is.

#5 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 2
Suzan Blades vs. Cock Thunder

Promising to be a slamfest this match ended in Suzan not anwering to the ref’s warning count and getting herself disqualified, making Thunder advance.

Scene: IGgy recruits Kiryu, protagonist of most games in the Yakuza series, to take part in the next match.

#6 Ah shit
At this point you know how this goes. Something goes here but I’m not telling you what.

Kiryu Kazuma[/spoiler] vs. Kaoru Hanayama vs. Mr. Shakedown vs. [spoiler]Toru Yano

Toru Yano brought a gun and first shot Mr. Shakedown, then Kiryu. Then he shot Kaoru in the dick, but he wouldn’t stay down. Kaoru then begged Yano to kick him in the dick, which he did. After that Yano shot Kaoru again, but once more, he wouldn’t stay down, so Yano stabbed Kaoru into the dick with an actual knife, but it wasn’t enough. Eventually, Yano shot Kaoru a third time and he finally stayed down. If you read or watched Grappler Baki then this resiliency will seem very in character. Throughout all of this Mr. Shakedown was lying there bleeding for about 15 monutes. I’m sure he’s fine. Anyway, next week: Mr. Shakedown Memorial Bout!

#7 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 2
Pantha vs. Not Your God

We have Pantha trying to wreck NYGs head and NYG trying to wreck Pantha’s arm. I think the arms went first. Which is probably why the Pantha Claw wasn’t as effective as it would have normally been, allowing NYG to fight through it. And eventually submitting Pantha with a Wakigatame - a Fujiwara Armbar.

#8 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 2
Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Black

Woah, what was this? A hoss off for sure but MGM got his knees wrecked something fierce by Black, which is probably why MGM couldn’t aim his jumping cutter, or the MGM outta nowhere, anymore. He still hit Black with it once but that just wasn’t enough. Finally, Black hits MGMon with a powerbomb and pins him.

#9 Hellfire Tournament Block A Round 2
Hellranger Flamander vs. Vacation Skeleton

Sadly. Vacation Skeleton did not pull out an impressive victory here. But y’know how it is. If you want to win a tournament you gotta break some skeletons. And that’s what Flamander did.

#10 Hellfire Tournament Block B Round 2
Grace Thoruson vs. Freddie Hope

This match went places. Freddie did the freaking Last Hope twice in a row relatively early in the match Grace hit the Saving Grace, but too close to the ropes. Eventually Grace just did that move she keeps winning with and won. But not for a lack of trying on Freddie’s part.

Now, let’s look at the standings!

We got some interesting matches coming our way.
Flamander vs. Black is particularly interesting. These two have faced twice before and both have one win over each other. This will act as their tie-breaker.
Angus vs. Dash in his current form is also a thing that’s happened. But only once, and Angus was victorious here.
Grace vs. Thunder on the other hand hasn’t happened before and that’s no surprise. No one would have thought Thunder would make it this far in the first place and he only really stepped into the scene once Grace had started making her mark. Not to speak of the fact that Tunder is primarily a tag team wrestler.
Finally, Isabel Ibarra vs. Not Your God is a first time match-up as well, surprising no one because NYG only just emerged. But this will be a clash of styles. We have the agile powerhouse in Isabel going against a very ground based opponent in NYG.
Now, Flamander, Blac, Angus, Dash, Grace, Thunder, Isabel, Not Your God… one of these eight will win this tournament next week. I’m pretty excited about it. We shall see.

IGgy · February 24, 2021, 3:52pm

Week 104: HELLFIRE 2021

All right! Let’s go!

It’s time to settle the rest of our brackets. Check them out!

Additionally, we got some other stuff too. We’ll also be remembering Mr. Shakedown, Hiroya Egashira. The full card is below.

#1 SAPP TIME! Open Challenge
Majin Bob Sapp vs. ???

#2 Hellfire Tournament Block A Quarter Finals
Hellranger Flamander vs. Black

#3 Hellfire Tournament Block B Quarter Finals
Cock Thunder vs. Grace Thoruson

#4 Hellfire Tournament Block A Quarter Finals
Angus McMutton vs. Dash Rendar

#5 Hellfire Tournament Block B Quarter Finals
Isabel Ibarra vs. Not Your God

#6 Some shitshow???
This time I actually don’t know yet. Hope no one gets shot.

#7 Hellfire Tournament Block A Semi Finals
Winner of #2 vs. Winner of #4

#8 Hellfire Tournament Block B Semi Finals
Winner of #3 vs. Winner of #5

#9 Mr. Shakedown Memorial Bout
He wanted to become the strongest being in the universe. But he got shot by Turo Yano and lied bleeding for 15 Minutes. We honor Hiroya Egashira in this match. Participants are not announced due to their availability not being known at the time of this writing.

#10 Hellfire Tournament Finals
Winner of #7 vs. Winner of #8

IGgy · February 27, 2021, 8:44pm

Going live and starting OHPW, in about 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
Today it’s the final night of the Hellfire Tournament

#1 SAPP TIME!
#2 Hellranger Flamander vs. Black
#3 Cock Thunder vs. Grace Thoruson
#4 Angus McMutton vs. Dash Rendar
#5 Isabel Ibarra vs. Not Your God
#6 Some Tag Match
#7 Semifinals 1 (Winner of 2 vs. Winner of 4)
#8 Semifinals 2 (Winner of 3 vs. Winner of 5)
#9 Mr. Shakedown Memorial Battle Royal
#10 Finals

IGgy · February 28, 2021, 11:10am

Week 104: HELLFIRE 2021 - (Twitch VOD)

Don’t worry, no one died this time.

Match Card and Results:

Week 104: HELLFIRE 2021

All right! Let’s go!

It’s time to settle the rest of our brackets. Check them out!
[timg]https://i.imgur.com/IoQ99Uv.jpg[/timg]

Additionally, we got some other stuff too. We’ll also be remembering Mr. Shakedown, Hiroya Egashira. The full card is below.

#1 SAPP TIME! Open Challenge
Majin Bob Sapp vs. Yup, it’s VACANT

Woah, I thought this’d be VACANT’s match for sure, because to break kayfabe, opposed to VACANT Bob Sapp is not intentionally overpowered just slightly above average. But this went for over 30 minutes and Sapp managed to take the win.

#2 Hellfire Tournament Block A Quarter Finals
Hellranger Flamander vs. Black

Oh shit! Black just didn’t let Flamander do much of anything and beat him in a relatively short match. The champ doesn’t even make it to the finals now!

#3 Hellfire Tournament Block B Quarter Finals
Cock Thunder vs. Grace Thoruson

That was some slamfest. I really rooted for Thunder there and he didn’t lose for a lack of trying. But Grace didn’t win last year’s tournament for nothing.

#4 Hellfire Tournament Block A Quarter Finals
Angus McMutton vs. Dash Rendar

Mercifully, Angus won. He moves on to face Black in the semi finals.

#5 Hellfire Tournament Block B Quarter Finals
Isabel Ibarra vs. Not Your God

That was hard to watch. Isabel just didn’t get to do much. It was very one sided. NYG did what he does and took it, advancing to the semi finals where he will face Grace

#6 Some shitshow???
This time I actually don’t know yet. Hope no one gets shot.

Muscle Magic Pokemon of the Wasteland[/spoiler] vs. [spoiler]Flaming Food Clowns of the Star Wars EU

No one got shot- But predictably, this match was just chaos. One half of eight teams were in this match and to make things weirder, Mina and Palpy were on the same team. I really should have put Haz Matt and Chief Engineer on the same team to see what happens. Ah well. Plumeria got the win for the Muscle Magic Pokemon of the Wasteland

#7 Hellfire Tournament Block A Semi Finals

Black, who defeated Flamander[/spoiler] vs. [spoiler]Angus, who defeated Dash

Ooooh, fuck! Where Black made short work of Flamander Angus did the same to Black. Angus, for the first time after his loss when OHPW had just started, makes it to the finals!

#8 Hellfire Tournament Block B Semi Finals

Grace Thoruson, who defeated Thunder[/spoiler] vs. [spoiler]Not Your God, who defeated Isabel Ibarra

It looked like NYG controlled most of the match but in between his unrelenting submission fuckery Grace managed to get in several good ones. It came as a surprise to some that Grace won, with a Triple Fisherman Suplex no less, but that is in fact one of her specialties.

#9 Mr. Shakedown Memorial Bout
He wanted to become the strongest being in the universe. But he got shot by Turo Yano and lied bleeding for 15 Minutes. We honor Hiroya Egashira in this match. Participants are not announced due to their availability not being known at the time of this writing.

Okay, so basically this was the three remaining Mr. Shakedowns and the three remaining members of Ciminal Sanity AND ALSO FUCKING TORU YANO THAT PIECE OF SHIT! All in one timed Battle Royal. Yano entered last but as soon as he was there he started shooting people. It took some time but Yano actually wins this one too. This is the darkest timeline… or is it?

MR SHAKEDOWN RETURNS FROM THE GRAVE TEARS HIS SHEART OFF TO REVEAL AN I LIVED BITCH TATTOO ON HIS BACK AND DESTROYS TORU YANO

#10 Hellfire Tournament Finals

Angus McMutton[/spoiler] vs. [spoiler]Grace Thoruson

This one’s a rematch, basically. And it was probably better than their first. Maybe the fact that Grace didn’t try to brain herself on Angus’ head contributed, then again, Angus does his headbutts regardless so maybe it was something else. This was a fight and Angus emerged victorious once more. Denying Grace consecutive wins.

Below we got the final standings in bracket form, gaze upon them, if you like

IGgy · March 3, 2021, 8:30pm

Week 105: Let’s Explode Again

Oh boy, we just wrapped that tournament. But did you know we have an entire other half of the roster too? Well damn, here’s some of that.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Two old people doing old people stuff
Agnes Paragon vs. Palpatine

#2 Singles Match
A real hero wouldn’t beat up a homeless person.
Hobo One Kevodki vs. Super Samio

#3 Singles Match
This match is like a car crash. But the Car Crash is also Rick’s Finisher
Rick Wreckage vs. Midas Minoson

#4 Tag Team Match
The Grunts are back! And they’ll eat some muscle magic!
Team Skull Grunts vs. School of Slam

#5 Singles Match
Gorefest Shmorefest, let’s have a “normal” match
Maya Northwind vs. Kelsey Slaughter

#6 Singles Match
You just know these two buffoons fly around a lot.
Danny V5 vs. Cock Lightning

#7 Seven Deadly Pins
Haven’t had one of these in a good while so this should be fun.
Florida Man vs. Suman vs. Great Maharaja vs. Harley Havik vs. Hayley Simmons vs. Flash Hammer vs. Dr. Mutant vs. Mina Park ©

IGgy · March 6, 2021, 8:44pm

Going live and starting OHPW, our wrestling federation, in about 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s today’s matches:
#1 Agnes Paragon (“c”) vs. Palpatine for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Hobo One Kevodki vs. Super Samio
#3 Rick Wreckage vs. Midas Minoson
#4 Team Skull Grunts vs. School of Slam
#5 Maya Northwind vs. Kelsey Laughter
#6 Danny V5 vs. Cock Lightning
#7 Seven Deadly Pins feat. Mina Park ©

IGgy · March 7, 2021, 11:19am

Week 105: Let’s Explode Again - (Twitch VOD)

Match Card and Results:

Week 105: Let’s Explode Again

Oh boy, we just wrapped that tournament. But did you know we have an entire other half of the roster too? Well damn, here’s some of that.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Two old people doing old people stuff
Agnes Paragon vs. Palpatine

It’s the carnage we came to expect and love from this type of match. In the end, of course, the ring exploded. However, Palpy has enough juice left to get up. Depriving us of the Explosion-Chan victory that we all sought.

#2 Singles Match
A real hero wouldn’t beat up a homeless person.
Hobo One Kevodki vs. Super Samio

The hell? It’s not like Samio didn’t get any offense in. But this still was a pretty quick match at the 12:23 minutes it took Hobo to win.

Scene: Thunder steps in front of the old promo wall and expresses his dissatisfaction with the way he made it to the quarterfinals in the Hellfire Tournament. He wants to face Suzan again to settle things and chooses AT DOOM’S GATE as the venue for their meeting.

#3 Singles Match
This match is like a car crash. But the Car Crash is also Rick’s Finisher
Rick Wreckage vs. Midas Minoson

The hell? It’s not like Rick didn’t get any offense in. But this still was a pretty quick match at the 12:18 minutes it took Midas to win.

#4 Tag Team Match
The Grunts are back! And they’ll eat some muscle magic!
Team Skull Grunts vs. School of Slam

This two went surprisingly fast, but not THAT fast. It was mainly cut short due to Sadim cutting off Blue as Muscle Wizard continued to work over Pink.

#5 Singles Match
Gorefest Shmorefest, let’s have a “normal” match
Maya Northwind vs. Kelsey Slaughter

The hell? It’s not like Kelsey didn’t get any offense in. But this still was a pretty quick match at the 11:48 minutes it took Maya to win.

#6 Singles Match
You just know these two buffoons fly around a lot.
Danny V5 vs. Cock Lightning

At last, a singles match that is a little harder fought. Lightning proved that he can handle himself in singles matches. Being undefeated for his first three. While Danny keeps impressing with his explosive bursts of offense that really should power him out but they don’t. In this specific match, however, Lightning did not strike instead Danny successfully hit the V5 for the win.

#7 Seven Deadly Pins
Haven’t had one of these in a good while so this should be fun.
Florida Man vs. Suman vs. Great Maharaja vs. Harley Havik vs. Hayley Simmons vs. Flash Hammer vs. Dr. Mutant vs. Mina Park ©

Oh crap. It’s been a while since we had one of those and boy was it worth the wait. This had it all. Action, drama, romance [citation needed] as well as Mina throwing everyone outside the ring right after one another before joining the fray on the outside herself. Probably one of the most deserved defenses we’ve had yet. Mina wins and retains.

IGgy · March 10, 2021, 7:42pm

Week 106: Die

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Hayley got sat on so hard she got nocked out so here we are.
Agnes Paragon (“c”) vs. Hayley Simmons

#2 Singles Match
Guess we’ll finally hear Josef’s new theme.
Anna May vs. Josef Dub

#3 Singles Match
rip dicky p
Richardson Peterson vs. Mr. Shakedown

#4 Three-Way
Player, game and the blood.
Steve Dirt vs. Guzma vs. Arcade Legend ASS

#5 Singles Match
Pretty sure Tara’s no cop. So if she loses it’s actually because Pig Destroyers finisher is a Reverse Hanging Piledriver that sometimes escalates to the Gory Special Piledriver, sometimes known as the Copkilla, and heads are the weak points of most humans.
Tara Milleneon vs. Pig Destroyer

#6 Singles Match
Aint no Dracula.
Fomore vs. Koji Kojinaka

#7 Underworld Darkweight Title
This is Danny’s second chance to win the Darkweight Title and he’s only up against the person who’s currently the top ranked wrestler in OHPW due to winning the Tournament. Let’s see how far Angus can elevate this title… or Danny V5
Danny V5 vs. Angus McMutton ©

IGgy · March 13, 2021, 8:44pm

Going live and starting OHPW, our wrestling federation, in about 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s today’s matches:
#1 Agnes Paragon (“c”) vs. Hayley Simmons for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Anna May vs. Josef Dub
#3 Dicky P vs. Mr. Shakedown
#4 Steve Dirt vs. Guzma vs. Arcade Legend ASS
#5 Tara Milleneon vs. Pig Detroyer
#6 Fomore vs. Koji Kojinaka
#7 Danny V5 vs. Angus McMutton © for the Darkweight Title

IGgy · March 14, 2021, 12:16pm

Week 106: Die - (Twitch VOD)

Match Card and Results:

Week 106: Die

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Hayley got sat on so hard she got nocked out so here we are.
Agnes Paragon (“c”) vs. Hayley Simmons

The age and size difference was on Hayleys side. Agnes did her hardest to make this match as boring as possible to draw in the 50+ demo. Hayley, realizing that she has limited options in the ring to remedy that she had to end this as quickly as possible and did.

#2 Singles Match
Guess we’ll finally hear Josef’s new theme.
Anna May vs. Josef Dub

This match was just rude. I mean, it was what you’d expect until a certain point. Josef STEALS the crunchyroll and defeats Anna May with it. I mean, him stealing Palpy’s theme is one thing that I welcome wholeheartedly, but actually beating someone with their own finisher is low. And knowing Josef he’ll try to keep it.

#3 Singles Match
rip dicky p
Richardson Peterson vs. Mr. Shakedown

We all hoped Dicky P would go down within minutes and technically he did. But the amount of minutes was much higher than anticipated. Most of that is owed to Mr. Shakedown toying with him for extended periods before putting an end to the beatdown.

#4 Three-Way
Player, game and the blood.
Steve Dirt vs. Guzma vs. Arcade Legend ASS vs. Quackenduckboy Jr.

I’m afraid this might become a recurring theme but Duckbaby won retaining the accursed Pokeymanz title that does hell knows what to his innocent soul. This is like way back in the early oughts when the Pokemon craze reached full force only this time it’s something to actually worry about.

#5 Singles Match
Pretty sure Tara’s no cop. So if she loses it’s actually because Pig Destroyers finisher is a Reverse Hanging Piledriver that sometimes escalates to the Gory Special Piledriver, sometimes known as the Copkilla, and heads are the weak points of most humans.
Tara Milleneon vs. Pig Destroyer

This match was short but intense. Pig Destroyer slapped the shit out of Tara but that only made Tara angrier and thus stronger, allowing her to eventually win with Fuck Time and Fuck You Too!

#6 Singles Match
Aint no Dracula.
Fomore vs. Koji Kojinaka

This was a battle of technical masterminds. But only one of them knows the art of offering a handshake and transitioning into an armbar from there. And that is why Fomore won.

#7 Underworld Darkweight Title
This is Danny’s second chance to win the Darkweight Title and he’s only up against the person who’s currently the top ranked wrestler in OHPW due to winning the Tournament. Let’s see how far Angus can elevate this title… or Danny V5
Danny V5 vs. Angus McMutton ©

Where as Danny usually burns bright but quick, in these big matches he shows how hungry he truly is and wrestles in a way only someone who’s still young enough to have infinite energy can. However, Angus’ experience and hard head still won in the end. But this battle was much harder fought than anyone hoped for.

IGgy · March 17, 2021, 9:25pm

Week 107: Look at this team! We’re gonna do great!

Waoh, just one week till the PPV, but look at this card, though.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
In your head, in your head, they are fighting… with their slams, and their drivers and their… oh wait, one of them isn’t even a zombie yet.
Agnes Paragon (“c”) vs. Undeddie Guerrero

#2 Singles Match
Two nice ladies and both of them like to fly. This can only go well.
Lea Lionheart vs. Blaze Rider

#3 Tag Team Match
It’s the Bloodtober Gorefest peeps! (Also Family Man)
Steve Dirt & Family Man vs. Kelsey & Maya

#4 Singles Match
Destroyers and spinny Brainbusters, we got it all in this one match.
Skullistiar vs. Nawt A Robutt

#5 Singles Match
We’re bringing you that Joshi vs. Exotico action!
Kayu Zakisaka vs. Bone Idol

#6 Singles Match
Could it be? That Ricc is truly too thicc for NYG?
Not Your God vs. Ricc 2 Thicc

#7 Legion Tag Championships
PP are now four time champs. That’s impressive. SoS only held the titles two times.
School of Slam vs. Pineapple Pizza ©

IGgy · March 21, 2021, 12:17pm

Week 107: BOOM BOOM - (Twitch VOD)

Match Card and Results:

Week 107: Look at this team! We’re gonna do great!

Waoh, just one week till the PPV, but look at this card, though.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
In your head, in your head, they are fighting… with their slams, and their drivers and their… oh wait, one of them isn’t even a zombie yet.
Agnes Paragon (“c”) vs. Undeddie Guerrero

Agnes tried really hard to keep this match slow and unexciting but she did not expect Undeddie’s determination. Then the ring exploded and… what both of them are still standing and fighting! Undeddie must have sparked something in Agnes. However, after a few more minutes Undeddie locks in the Lasso from El Paso and Agnes has to submit.

#2 Singles Match
Two nice ladies and both of them like to fly. This can only go well.
Lea Lionheart vs. Blaze Rider

What the hell? This is still barbed wire! Ah well, let’s just roll with it. These two did essentially what they both do best, although with some limitations due to the fact that they can’t climb the corners. However, Explosion-Chan interferes at exactly 15:00 Minutes knocking them both out.

#3 Tag Team Match
It’s the Bloodtober Gorefest peeps! (Also Family Man)
Steve Dirt & Family Man vs. Kelsey & Maya

And again with the barbed wire… Explosion-Chan is throwing some kind of tantrum for some reason and forces the exploding barbed wire and explosion timer on all the matches. Of course, two out of three people in this match are no stranger to this kind of insanity, which is why it’s no surprise that Family Man, the one person not familiar with this, is the one to take the fall, being submitted by Kelsey before the explosion can happen.

#4 Singles Match
Destroyers and spinny Brainbusters, we got it all in this one match.
Skullistair vs. Nawt A Robutt

Yup, still barbed wire explosion town. Opposed to the previous match where the people were exprienced enough to end this quick and avoid the explosion, here they just didn’t care if they blow up. So they did all their moves and shit like in a normal match. And then they exploded.

#5 Singles Match
We’re bringing you that Joshi vs. Exotico action!
Kayu Zakisaka vs. Bone Idol

We are still trying to get Explosion-Chan to stop the madness but she is very upset at something. Kayu and Bone Idol have their fight and it appears Bone Idol has the upper hand mostly, however, Death Match Kayu is bound to reveal herself, given enough time. However, we only have 15 minutes before the explosion. And oh… Bone Tugging Harmony! Kayu submits. Maybe one day Death Match Kayu will return, but not today.

#6 Singles Match
Could it be? That Ricc is truly too thicc for NYG?
Not Your God vs. Ricc 2 Thicc

We have now found Explosion-chan and are trying to reason with her. However, this match will still be Barbend Wire. NYG tries to keep Ricc grounded, however, Ricc is also a ground type, just not submission but power based. This is going back and forth until the ring explodes and Ricc remains standing.

#7 Legion Tag Championships
PP are now four five time champs. That’s impressive. SoS only held the titles two times.
School of Slam vs. Pineapple Pizza ©

We have successfully negotiated with Explosion-chan and she will not be punished for her actions. It was decided that the Jabroni Royale will no longer be held after the coming PPV, and aside from IGgy and Satan, Explosion-Chan was the first to learn. I just didn’t expect SATAN to tell it to her during a show so she can run around with a toast in her mouth that gets more and more charred as she is trying to escape from us while also exploding more people. Ah well. This match can go forward now. SoS and PP having another one. Although, it’s still the longest match on the show by only 9 seconds it still feels like it had an abrupt end when Sadim locked the Humble Maker on Cheese Pietzza to earn them the title another time.