OHPW - Business May Die [Fire Pro Wrestling World]

Week 72: FUCK THE POLICE
It’s what now? Our eighteenth PPV? What am I doing with my life? Oh, right!

In the spirit of this PPV encourage you to check out itch.io’s bundle for racial justice and equality. More games than you’ll ever play for a cause worth staying angry about.

Now to the show:

Fomore is ready to use the ACAB on Apollo. Apollo’s not a cop, to be clear! But he does report people to the mods.
We got Family Man and Steve Dirt teaming up for the first time on screen against Criminal Sanity. Due to the Pokeymanz Cvrse that Family Man is currently holding it’s automatically No DQ Falls Count Anywhere.
We also have the ultimate blood feud of Mina Park and Anna May (they both have anime faces, that’s why they are feuding, or not? I think they just wanna cause some mayhem.)
The Fung Gang challenge for the Legion Tag titles against School of Slam. Will they finally achieve a canonical title reign? Or are the cursed to be a part of IGgy’s distinct but also nonsensical lineage.
Last week Pig Destroyer appeared to destroy Inspector Jane but was then challenged by Cock Thunder. It’s just too big lads throwing each other around.
Finally! The match Dash Rendar wanted all this time! Vacation Skeleton vs. the Darkweight Champ! Yup, exactly what Dash wanted and nothing else.
But then it’s finally time for the big one. By defeating Pantha Hellranger Flamander earned the right to face Grace Thoruson for the Hellweight Title despite having lost to her in the tournament that got her the title shot in the first place. This may become Flamander’s first reign or cement Grace’s if she can defeat this all-time great for the second time in a row.

The full card is, as always, below:

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Plumeria (“c”) vs. Agnes Paragon

#2 Seven Deadly Pins
Ryu vs. Manic Misanthrope vs. Boob Marley vs. Danny V5 vs. Lea Lionheart vs. Florida Man vs. Cock Lightning vs. Team Skull Grunt Pink ©

#3 Singles Match
Fomore vs. Apollo

#4 Tag Team Match
Family Man & Steve Dirt vs. Criminal Sanity (Undeddie & Shakedown)

#5 Landmine Deathmatch
Mina Park vs. Anna May

#6 Legion Tag Championships
The Fun Gang (DCB and N. A. Robutt) vs. School of Slam ©

#7 Singles Match
Pig Destroyer vs. Cock Thunder

#8 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Vacation Skeleton vs. Spitbal ©

#9 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Hellranger Flamander vs. Grace Thoruson ©

Going live and starting OHPW, in about 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
Today we have a Special Event: FUCK THE POLICE!
We’re collecting money for a collection of BLM Bail and Aid Funds. I’ll be matching all donations up to a total of 100 Euros.

#1 Plumeria (“c”) vs. Agnes Paragon for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Seven Deadly Pins feat. Team Skull Grunt Pink ©
#3 Fomore vs. Apollo
#4 Family Man & Steve Dirt vs. Ciminal Sanity
#5 Mina Park vs. Anna May
#6 The Fun Gang vs. School of Slam © for the Legion Tag Titles
#7 Pig Destroyer vs. Cock Thunder
#8 Vacation Skeleton vs. Spitbal © for the Darkweight Title
#9 Hellranger Flamander vs. Grace Thoruson © for the Hellweight Title

Week 72: FUCK THE POLICE - (Twitch VOD)

The below post is what would have normally gone on my Patreon, which I’m no longer using. I’ll probably retrofit old updates with the posts I wrote for them too, unfortunately this is a bit more work than simply copying and pasting something.

This post will not blank out spoilers, so make sure to watch the show first if you care about that. Instead what will be spoilered is stuff that goes a bit into behind the scenes “what could have been” territory.


I think it’s safe to say that Fuck the Police was a huge success. Not only was the show itself fun but we also raised 100 Euros for Black Lives Matter Aid Funds. Which I matched, so it’s more like 200 Euros. Big thanks to everyone who donated, spread the world or simply watched and enjoyed.

I don’t think anyone is doubting that I actually donated the money so here is a certificate.


Well, there goes my luxury budget for the month… but honestly? This is more important.

220 Dollars amounts to very slightly less than 200 Euros, I didn’t properly convert it, but I like to think that this has been made up by what I gave for itch.io’s Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality which by the way, is still a thing you can get as of right now.

I stayed clear of running fundraisers so far because I felt that a lot of people respond to stuff like this with cynicism, alleging that someone just wants to look good by doing something and so on. I’ve seen it happen. There’s also the fact that I’m pretty small fry and wasn’t confident in actually raising any meaningful amount. I don’t normally like to use my show as a political platform either (which isn’t to say OHPW is apolitical, nothing is) but in times like these, I think it’s important to have a stance and represent it. The protests sparked by centuries of oppression going on right now may end up being one of the most important events of our lifetime, after all. And I’m glad we reached our goal here.

As for the show itself? I’m really happy with how it turned out. One thing that was immediately different (aside from the giant progress bar for our fundraiser, gotta keep that front and center) was the absence of the match timer. Which I had to mod out myself using the Unity Asset Bundle Extractor to replace the in-game files with completely blank versions. Weirdly, the numbers and the colon were in two different archives. This is something I wanted to do for a while. And there’s a mod that removes the entire UI, but that, unfortunately, includes the pinfall-, count-out and down-count numbers which I want to keep. Essentially I felt the timer got brought up too much in matches, especially if they went long. I also think not knowing exactly how long a match is until the actual post-match screen reveals it makes us judge the match less on that and more on what it actually is. I think it helped. There was no “It’s short/long BUT fun” and more “It’s short/long AND fun”

The following info has already been shared in the discord but it is stuff that would have normally gone on Patreon if I still maintained that. First, All the Young Devils are on excursion now. And when they come back their movesets and behaviour will be informed by who they faced. However, they are all different people, so they might take a lesson learned from facing someone and interpret it differently than one of the others did. There’s also the X-Factor of them going somewhere and learning there. Here’s who they faced before taking off into the world.

Hank Muscles:
Weeb Weaver
Manic Misanthrope
Palpatine

Tara McFly:
Harley Havik
Grace Thoruson
Nawt a Robutt

Sexton Thicc:
(Palpatine) (happened during the 4 on 4 tag match in Episode 36)
Vacation Skeleton
Steve Dirt

Additionally, each of them named a favorite wrestler way back on Episode 36 when they first showed up. For Hank it’s none other than Freddie Hope who trained all three of the Young Devils. Tara is a fan of Kushida, though she believed Back in the Future was a fictional movie for a long time. And Sexton admired Rikishi’s willingness to use his ass for the good of mankind but also 1-2-3 kids sheer heart. I have not actually worked on anyone’s return-persona yet. But I have a solid idea regarding some of them.

Up next is the fact that we have a bit of a roster problem. We had 77 people but I cut it down. Essentially I removed some characters by people who no longer seem to follow the shows (But, c’mon, I can never remove Vacation Skeleton.) There were also some characters that I wouldn’t describe as original. Such as Mr. Shakedown for example, that I’ll reserve the right to keep some of those. There’s also characters I put a lot of myself into, such as Fomore who underwent quite the change since their original debut. I’ll never claim ownership of the character or the concept but I’ll keep people like this as well. That said… I actually lowered the roster to 65 people. Oh, plus the 3 Young Devils. And oh… there’s Pig Destroyer who I only wanted to use for the one match, but it was so good I decided to keep him. That puts us to… oh, nice.

I’ll also take some time to talk about my favorite mod and how I used it in this episode. Extended Movelists. It’s a versatile tool that, in simple terms, allows people to give wrestlers more moves than there are moveslots (by putting multiple moves in one slot). Most people use this for variety. To have maybe one punch and then one slightly different punch. Or a move variation. Such as having a powerbomb and a tiger bomb in the same slot. However, I use it mainly to add storytelling to matches. The outcomes still are not predetermined but I see nothing wrong to nudge the actors in a match a certain way. Here’s what I did to Flamander. I’ll spoiler it because we’re “shooting” here and this is behind the scenes info that, if this were real wrestling, would be reported by them “dirtsheets”

Flamander doesn’t normally have a grounded Dragon Screw, I set the standing Dragon Screw -> grounded Dragon Screw up specifically so it could mirror Grace. There would have also been a chance of him doing the modified Single Leg Boston Crab he tapped to in the tournament match against Grace. I set that move to happen only if Grace’s spirit is incredibly low, meaning if Flamander had done it he would have (most likely) won with it.

Now, as you can tell this did not come to pass. Had Flamander won the match it might not even necessarily have happened that way. I still find it important to make things happen as organically as possible so I’ll never force a specific finish like this. But if it had happened it would have been a nice bit of storytelling.

Oh boy, this post is getting rather long. But there’s one more thing. I added the last three matches on the card to my highlights.

Pig Destroyer vs. Thunder - Wow, I never thought it’d go that long. I’ll be honest, Pig Destroyer was supposed to be a one-time special attraction for this match specifically, which is why I tested matches to see who he meshed with. Thunder was the choice here, but I didn’t know it’d pay off like this. It went stupid long and somehow didn’t get boring. I think Pig Destroyer might be sticking around after all. In terms of wrestling, this made both winner and loser look strong too.

Vacation Skeleton vs. Spitbal - It’s all the finish baybee! That’s what elevates it, despite a lack of Spring Break and Going on Vacation this is the quintessential VS match because they won a title match… via count-out… again! Which means they don’t win the title… again. At this point, it’s gotta be on purpose.

Flamander vs. Grace - Grace had it a bit rough. She started out actually losing a lot and then during the Hellfire Tournament 2020 suddenly beat everybody, beat high profile opponents too, beat Flamander to win it. Then moved on to defeat her best Friend for the Hellweight Title, her first defense was against Suzan Blades, the inaugural Hellweight champ and one of the strongest human beings in OHPW. And now comes Flamander again, a legend in his own right, though he never held the title. Grace beating Flamander again proves beyond doubt that none of this was a fluke and this is where she belongs. This also built on their previous match. Somewhat. Grace kept working Flamander’s leg but he was having none of it, even briefly targeting her legs. But in the end, it turned into a slam fest and we finished with the Saving Grace.
Also, Grace is currently on a 12 Match winning streak and hasn’t lost a match this year at all. To put it into perspective, in the grand scheme of things she has 18 wins and 17 losses with a 51.43% win rate.

As said, I’ll be retrofitting previous update posts with the former Patreon extra posts. There isn’t one for some episodes and I stopped doing them for some time (now they are more of a when I feel it kind of deal.) but there’s a lot of stuff I wrote over the runtime of OHPW. It was all written at the time, though. Maybe I’ll edit in corrections (without altering the original) where it turns out I was wrong or something. I dunno.

Week 73: Nice Guy
Whew, last week was something on multiple levels. Let’s see if we can return to normal after that.
Well, maybe. We got Hayley who’s been in the queue for Jabroni for a while now, unfortunately. I don’t feel it’s her fault but the numbers don’t lie and they spell disaster for her. Well, they spell greater disaster for Plumeria, but we’ll see what that means. Chances are they’ll both explode.

Due to a change in how I’m used at work I likely will run shows an hour earlier than usual soon. That means the original LPFWA timeslot vintage 2015 is coming back. Better for some, worse for others, I reckon. But definitely less of a headache for me. This week, though, will still be at 22:00 GMT, the exact time in your timezone you can see, as usual, following the link above.

Also: The roster has been trimmed down a bit, but there will be new debuts coming soon too. Just to make sure our roster doesn’t shrink to a reasonable size or anything.

Let’s see where this new cycle takes us. The match card, as always, is below:

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Well, it’s an 8 match losing streak vs. a 5 match losing streak, that’s why.
Plumeria (“c”) vs. Hayley Simmons

#2 Singles Match
I like it when the small wrestler goes against the big wrestler.
Maya Northwind vs. Suman

#3 Tag Team Match
I don’t know how many parts of FOB are dragons. But maybe we can bring it up to 2 total.
1 1/2 Dragons vs. Fallout Boys

#4 Singles Match
There’s no story here, these two just look like they should fight.
Guzma vs. Midas Minoson

#5 Singles Match
Will Kayu prove herself against the dead ace? Or will he cut her down too? (Get it? His finisher is a cutter! And a cutter generally takes someone down - cut her down… ha!)
Kayu Zakisaka vs. Koji Kojinaka

#6 Singles Match
Hahaha, get fucked Angus!
Angus McMutton vs. Ricc 2 Thicc

#7 Seven Deadly Pins
We established that Manic Sucks at everything but singles matches, yet he won the 7DP, the title always fought for in an 8-way battle royal. The hardest title to earn, and even harder to keep. Let’s see if he can stay the Deadliest Pinner.
Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Palpatine vs. Doctor Mutant vs. Arcade Legend ASS vs. Pig Destroyer vs. Jan Itor vs. Super Samio vs. Manic Misanthrope ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Plumeria (“c”) vs. Hayley Simmons
#2 Maya Northwind vs. Suman
#3 1/2 Dragons vs. Fallout Boys
#4 Guzma vs. Midas Minoson
#5 Kayu Zakisaka vs. Koji Kojinaka
#6 Angus McMutton vs. Ricc 2 Thicc
#7 Seven Deadly Pins feat. Manic Misanthrope ©

Week 73: Nice Guy - (Twitch VOD)

Week 74: Promise of a Lifetime
Time for more wrasslin’
The matches are below. Ricc will destroy Plumeria (probably) and both Suzan and Harmony, former champs, are in Action. There’s also a new skeleton in town and Kayu may finally be able to prove that she’s able to follow her promise of become a champion one day. But if she makes it will she stop there?

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
If you got beaten by Angus you get to beat Plumeria
Plumeria (“c”) vs. Ricc 2 Thicc

#2 Singles Match
Possibly the most metal match we had yet (Both blades and slaughter are very metal concepts, y’know)
Suzan Blades vs. Kelsey Slaughter

#3 Tag Team Match
Maybe WNA think putting ice cream into beer is magic, and thus are against it
Wizards Not Allowed vs. Real Beer Float

#4 Singles Match
Former Champ against guy who loses pants on way to the ring sometimes. Who will win?
Harmony Gray vs. Hobo One Kevodki

#5 Four-Way First Fall
A new skeleton is in town and they get three opponents right away.
Pine Appel vs. Mimic vs. Skullistair vs. Josef Dub

#6 Singles Match
As different as these two may be, their styles are remarkably similar. Just one has a very large head, the other is made of rock.
EGO vs. Lea Lionheart

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Could this be? The moment Kayu rises? Or nah? We’ll see!
Kayu Zakisaka vs. Spitbal ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Plumeria (“c”) vs. Ricc 2 Thicc
#2 Suzan Blades vs. Kelsey Slaughter
#3 Wizards Not Allowed vs. Real Beer Float
#4 Harmony Gray vs. Hobo One Kevodki
#5 Pine Appel vs. Mimic vs. Skullistair vs. Josef Dub
#6 EGO vs. Lea Lionheart
#7 Kayu Zakisaka vs. Spitbal © for the Darkweight Title

Week 74: Promise of a Lifetime - (Twitch VOD)

Week 75: Broken

Due to social obligations this show will take place at a different time than usual.
It will start on Sunday and two hours earlier than our regular showtime.

Our next PPV - Devil Trigger - is getting near things are heating up

In addition to our matches:
The controversy surrounding last week’s Main Event will be addressed
Suzan Blades has the opportunity to answer her challenge
Although he’s not scheduled to appear we sincerely believe Dash Rendar will be sad off screen.
Rumors have it that a demon-infused mystery challenger will appear to demand a match from one of our finest.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
If you tap to a neck submission despite not having a neck… well, you end up here.
Plumeria (“c”) vs. Mimic

#2 Singles Match
Someone who uses a Burning Hammer as mid-match move vs. the gal who calls the One-Winged Angel a transitional move.
Skullistair vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

#3 Singles Match
Angus didn’t do too bad lately. Let’s see what he can do when he wrestles a bear!
An(g)us McMutton vs. Great Maharaja

#4 Legion Tag No. 1 Contender Match
WNA’s Chance to show the Union What for! Let’s see if Mina meshes as well with Josef as she does with Angus, cause she has to.
Wizards Not Allowed vs. The Union (Mina & Josef)

#5 Singles Match
I wonder if Harley challenged Maya to a duel, as she is want to do.
Harley Havik vs. Maya Northwind

#6 Hellweight No. 1 Contender Match
A few weeks ago I would have never thought that these two would be in a position to get a Hellweight title shot any time soon, but here we are.
Kelsey Slaughter vs. EGO

#7 Legion Tag Championships
The FOB’s impressive victory two weeks ago entitles them to take on SoS for the Legion Tag belts.
Fallout Boys vs. School of Slam ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Plumeria (“c”) vs. A Mimic for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Skullistair vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
#3 Angus McMutton vs. Great Maharaja
#4 Wizards Not Allowed vs. The Union
#5 Harley Havik vs. Maya Northwind
#6 Kelsey Slaughter vs. EGO
#7 Fallout Boys vs. School of Slam © for the Legion Tag Titles

Week 75: Broken - (Twitch VOD)

Week 76: DEVIL TRIGGER



Video Package

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Been a long time since we had DCB in the Jabroni… takes me back…
Plumeria (“c”) vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

#2 Seven Deadly Pins
Goat-Monster is notoriously unstoppable, but can he stop seven others? Mr. Shakedown, the brothers, an Anime, a wizard… uh… Bloodi Boi and a goddamn Robot? Damn, our Roster is weird.
Zoltan vs. Anna May vs. Cock Lightning vs. Cock Thunder vs. Nawt a Robutt vs. Steve Dirt vs. Mr. Shakedown vs. Malfest Goat-Monster ©

#3 Singles Match
Though, not a sanctioned Title, Family Man’s Cursed Pokeymanz Title is, as always, unofficially on the line.
Family Man vs. Pig Destroyer

#4 Legion Tag Titles
If anyone can stop WNA’s reign of anticlimatic finishes it’s the SoS
Wizards Not Allowed vs. School of Slam ©

#5 Four Way (First Fall)
Maya Northwind vs. Palpatine vs. Koji Kojinaka vs. Danny V5

#6 Landmine Deathmatch
Harmony wants to cross it off the bucket list, bot want a Fight to Remember
Harmony Gray vs. Suzan Blades

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Spitbal sure showed an unexpected side of him in the lead-up to this. Will he get his comeuppance?
Kayu Zakisaka vs. Spitbal ©

#8 Falls Count Anywhere
No one expected Bob Sapp to show up. Let alone for him to demand Flamander at full power
Majin Bob Sapp vs. Hellranger Flamander

#9 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Unlikely and yet deserving, Kelsey challenges Grace Thoruson for the Big One
Kelsey Slaughter vs. Grace Thoruson ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Plumeria (“c”) vs. DivineCoffeeBinge for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Seven Deadly Pins feat. Malfest Goat-Monster
#3 Family Man vs. Pig Destroyer
#4 Wizards Not Allowed vs. School of Slam © for the Legion Tag Titles
#5 Maya Northwind vs. Palpatine vs. Koji Kojinaka vs. Danny V5
#6 Harmony Gray vs. Suzan Blades
#7 Kayu Zakisaka vs. Spitbal © for the Darkweight Title
#8 Majin Bob Sapp vs. Hellranger Flamander
#9 Kelsey Slaughter vs. Grace Thoruson © for teh Hellweight Title

Week 76: DEVIL TRIGGER - (Twitch VOD)


I hate when the obvious episode gif would be a spoiler so I have to find something funny instead…

Week 77: Lucky
Ah okay, but this should be our new “Normal” time. An hour earlier than or previous normal time.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Thunder doesn’t deserve this, probably. But at this point, neither does Plumeria.
Plumeria (“c” vs. Cock Thunder

#2 Singles Match
Sounds like a wholesome match. Dunno who El Hijo Del Quackenduckboy is, though.
Cock Lightning vs. Quackenduckboy Jr.

#3 Singles Match
Who’s that newbie? Isabel isn’t exactly a name that strikes fear into the massive human that is Suman
Suman vs. Isabel Ibarra

#4 Tag Team Match
Well, gee, the unofficial Tag champs vs. the longest reigning official ones.
Fallout Boys vs. Team Skull Grunts

#5 Singles Match
I don’t wanna say it because that’ll make it not happen, but this’ll probably be good.
Lea Lionheart vs. Hayley Simmons

#6 Singles Match
The long awaited match of Vacation Skeleton! Oh, Pantha our former champ is here too, I guess.
Pantha vs. Vacation Skeleton

#7 Darkweight Championship
Maya has been on an upswing as of late, but can she halt Kayu’s Momentum?
Maya Northwind vs. Kayu Zakisaka ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Plumeria (“c”) vs. Cock Thunder for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Cock Lightning vs. Quackenduckboy Jr.
#3 Suman vs. Isabel Ibarra
#4 Fallout Boys vs. Team Skull Grunts
#5 Lea Lionheart vs. Hayley Simmons
#6 Pantha vs. Vacation Skeleton
#7 Maya Northwind vs. Kayu Zakisaka © for the Darkweight Title

Week 77: Lucky - (Twitch VOD)

Week 78: Book me, coward!

I’ve been talking about “normal timeslots” a lot the last few weeks. But this is the new normal. Get used to it. Or don’t I’m not your boss. I may start PPVs an hour early from now to avoid them running until way past midnight. Anyway, here’s a match card.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Believe it or not, this is actually a rematch from their Hell’s Gate days
Cock Thunder (“c”) vs. Arcade Legend ASS

#2 Singles Match
Florida Man wrestles dead body, gets a couple good hits in.
Undeddie Guerrero vs. Florida Man

#3 Singles Match
Lots of “David vs. Goliath” match-ups lately, but whatchoo gonna do?
Super Samio vs. Midas

#4 Tag Team Match
It’s been 25 weeks since the Skull Bosses tagged. TWENTY-FIVE
Real Beer Float vs. Team Skull Bosses

#5 Singles Match
Little did Pig Destroyer know, Angus wears a lamb mask for big matches, not a pig one.
Pig Destroyer vs. Angus McMutton

#6 Singles Match
As long as Pantha doesn’t do a Neck Crank Rick stands a chance.
Rick Wreckage vs. Pantha

#7 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Seven Deadly Pins, seven ways to win, seven holy paths to hell… and their trip begins.
Agnes Paragon vs. Cheese Pietzza vs. Manic Misanthrope vs. EGO vs. Fomore vs. Boob Marley vs. Ryu vs. Anna May ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Cock Thunder (“c”) vs. Arcade Legend ASS for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Undeddie Guerrero vs. Florida Man
#3 Super Samio vs. Midas
#4 Real Beer Float vs. Team Skull Bosses
#5 Pig Destroyer vs. Angus McMutton
#6 Rick Wreckage vs. Pantha
#7 Seven Deadly Pins feat. Anna May ©