Week 64: AT DOOM’S GATE 64
Here’s the new OP for OHPW.
PPV-time! We got a good deal of stuff going on. We’ll have a debutant in Danny V5. There’s the weird thing where Palpy insisted to challenge The Union in a fit of, whatever. Speaking of Whatever. Dashosphere is still aiming for a match against Vacation Skeleton by fighting Fomore first. In the main event the long awaited match between Grace and Harmony takes place.
#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Plumeria (“c”) vs. Weeb Weaver
As we get closer and closer to 15:00 Minutes, when the ring explodes we all just assume that’s how it’s gonna end. But with only a few seconds to spare Weeb submits Plumeria.
#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Danny V5 vs. Great Maharaja vs. Inspector Jane vs. Maya Northwind vs. Freddie Hope vs. Koji Kojinaka vs. Hayley Simmons vs. DivineCoffeeBinge (c)
This one went surprisingly long. DCB, Koji and Hayley were the final three. DCB was the first to be eliminated out of those. Koji and Hayley fought but after almost 40 minutes it was Koji who fought out a win.
Scene: Steve Dirt invites Family Man for drinks. That’s basically it.
#3 Singles Match
Austin Ramon vs. EGO
I didn’t expect this match to be as good as it was. It’s one of three on this show that I put on the Highlights list. The “story” going into this is that a couple weeks ago EGO used Austin’s finisher on him before he could ever do it. Big dick move. EGO locked in the Double Black Label on Austin AGAIN but this time not to end the match. They fought on and Austin eventually defeated EGO
#4 Handicap Match
Goatcorp. (Palpatine, Cocademon & Goat-Monster) vs. The Union (Angus, Mina, Josef & Punk)
Even though this is a handicap match I’d argue that in a 3v4 match-up that goes first fall to a finish the advantage from one more person is negligible. However, the team with the numbers advantage won. N-T Punk of all people pinned Palpatine.
#5 Singles Match
Family Man vs. Mr. Shakedown
I’m not gonna lie. This was kind of supposed to be a palate cleanser. The piss-break match were Family Man fans (everyone) could stay and watch. The rest could go grab snacks, relieve themselfs. That kinda stuff. Just a fun little intermission. But as it turns out, this PPV didn’t let me have ANY of those. It started fairly normal, aside from the fact that Family Man was in his underwear, but after about ten minuts of getting beaten down. Family Man just started popping off. Did the Orange Cassidy Dropkick, a sick Rana that almost went outside. Airplane Spin into an F5, Cocky Pin, kickout. It went on high energy like this for a while longer. But ultimately you don’t just win against Mr. Shakedown. This is the second of three highlights on this show (according to me)
#6 Singles Match
Fomore vs. Dashosphere
Although not supposed to be a palate cleanser I didn’t really think all the matches on the card except for the first one would go over 20 Minutes. This one almost broke 30. Dash is on his quest here to defeat all of the Fun Gang, ending it with Vacation Skeleton. And Dash somehow didn’t submit even though the match ran long. Fomore debuted their new finisher, but kickout. Several times. It took a while for Dash to wisen up and use a move that doesn’t directly transition into a pin near the ropes. He used the Outrunner for the 1-2-3 and wins. His quest continues, for now.
#7 Legion Tag Team Championship
Pineapple Pizza vs. Team Skull (c)
Oh man. Pineapple Pizza were the ones Team Skull one the titles from originally. And they then successfully defended it six times. And here we are. Pineapple Pizza kind of surprisingly win the match. I say this even though they were champs before but against the Team Skull Grunts, somehow, it seemed unlikely. But finally, new (old) Tag champs!
#8 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Hellranger Flamander vs. Boob Marley (c)
Another one that was supposed to be a palate cleanser. I thought Flamander would murder Boob in cold blood. But naaaah. Not only did Boob make Flamander work up a sweat, he also defeated him.
#9 VACANT Bunny Challenge :3
Black vs. VACANT (c)
This one however, I didn’t know what to expect. I mean, I know Black beat VACANT before, quickly and convincingly. But this was a different ruleset, perhaps to the advantage of VACANT for once. And they fought for a long time until Black whipped out the Blackout and VACANT stayed down for the 1-2-3
Scene: Grace and Harmony were interviewed separately from each other. This is the footage from this interview. The two friends go over their thoughts and talk about their preparations for this match.
#10 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Grace Thoruson vs. Harmony Gray (c)
Look at how far we’ve come. It wasn’t TOO long ago when I gave away Grace vs. Harmony as a kind of throwaway match on a weekly episode. Actually. That is very long ago. It was on Episode 5. We’re now on Episode 64. Harmony won that one in 16:51. Next they faced in the Dodecagon of the Showdown Tournament on Episode 21. Harmony knocked out Grace in 7:15. I assume they’ve faced each other outside of OHPW too. But in OHPW Harmony’s got two up on Grace. But the stakes have never been this high and Grace never ran this white hot. Winning the Hellfire Tournament and everything. Harmony, in the meantime, proved to be a champion worthy to carry the Infernal Hellweight Title. In the match we saw moves from both that we haven’t seen before. They really did go all out. In the end Grace locked in her signature modified single-leg Boston Crab (that we also call the Carbonated footprint). I guess that one needs a fancy name with the word Grace in it now. Because not only did it win her a couple matches in the last few weeks, but also this one. We got a new champ.
