OHPW - Business May Die [Fire Pro Wrestling World]

Week 63: Death to Capitalism II
As we prepare for AT DOOM’S GATE 64 Suman attempts to rid himself of the Jabroni Royle once more and his chances seem better than ever. We see Hank Muscles in his first Main Roster singles match against Weeb Weaver. Grace is facing one last challenge before her match with her friend, Harmony Gray. Palpy got to “antagonize” EGO last week and is now leading the oRa 66 against Criminal Sanity. And in our Main event Kayu Zakisaka attempts to defend the Seven Deadly Pins title. And capitalism will literally die! Well, last time we promised that a No Talent Punk got beaten up by a Malfest Goat-Monster so that was disappointing. Fingers crossed for this time.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Suman (“c”) vs. Plumeria

#2 Singles Match
Hank Muscles vs. Weeb Weaver

#3 Tag Team Match
Real Beer Float vs. Pineapple Pizza

#4 Singles Match
Grace Thoruson vs. Canada Alderman

#5 Chaos Tag Team Match
oRa 66 vs. Criminal Sanity

#6 VACANT Bunny Challenge :3
TBD vs. VACANT ©

#7 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
King Skeleton vs. Lemuel Post vs. Anna May vs. Haz Matt vs. Spitbal vs. DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Ricc 2 Thicc vs. Kayu Zaisaka ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Suman (“c”) vs. Plumeria
#2 Hank Muscles vs. Weeb Weaver
#3 Real Beer Float vs. Pineapple Pizza
#4 Grace Thoruson vs. Canada Alderman
#5 oRa 66 vs. Criminal Sanity
#6 VACANT Bunny Challenge :3
#7 Seven Deadly Pins feat. Kayu Zakisaka ©

Week 63: Death to Capitalism II - (Twitch VOD)

Especially not after this has happened multiple times to the same person. Maybe the cycle of Palpatine will end now that he’s an employee and he can see how it is to work under a shitbag boss and turn face.

Hahahaha nah, he’ll never learn.

And oh right, the Custom Parts DLC is now out which is why you’ve seen the actual Danger Spider logo on Grace. Mr. Shakedown will also finally have a hat for his next appearance (Both thanks to PublicOpinion, who also made the OHPW logo)

Now making these is still kinda hard as it requires one to create full sprite sheets for each part so don’t go around requesting special parts from me or anything. But if there’s something specific you’d want on a character of yours let me know, I won’t make it but I’ll keep an eye out for something that lets me accomplish it.

Week 64: AT DOOM’S GATE 64

Here’s the new OP for OHPW.

PPV-time! We got a good deal of stuff going on. We’ll have a debutant in Danny V5. There’s the weird thing where Palpy insisted to challenge The Union in a fit of, whatever. Speaking of Whatever. Dashosphere is still aiming for a match against Vacation Skeleton by fighting Fomore first. In the main event the long awaited match between Grace and Harmony takes place.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Plumeria (“c”) vs. Weeb Weaver

#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Danny V5 vs. Great Maharaja vs. Inspector Jane vs. Maya Northwind vs. Freddie Hope vs. Koji Kojinaka vs. Hayley Simmons vs. DivineCoffeeBinge ©

#3 Singles Match
Austin Ramon vs. EGO

#4 Handicap Match
Goatcorp. (Palpatine, Cocademon & Goat-Monster) vs. The Union (Angus, Mina, Josef & Punk)

#5 Singles Match
Family Man vs. Mr. Shakedown

#6 Singles Match
Fomore vs. Dashosphere

#7 Legion Tag Team Championship
Pineapple Pizza vs. Team Skull

#8 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Hellranger Flamander vs. Boob Marley

#9 VACANT Bunny Challenge :3
Black vs. VACANT

#10 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Grace Thoruson vs. Harmony Gray

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Plumeria (“c”) vs. Weeb Weaver
#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal feat. DivineCoffeeBinge ©
#3 Austin Ramon vs. EGO
#4 Goatcorp vs. The Union
#5 Family Man vs. Mr. Shakedown
#6 Fomore vs. Dashosphere
#7 Pineapple Pizza vs. Team Skull © for the Legion Tag Titles
#8 Hellranger Flamander vs. Boob Marley © for the Darkweight Title
#9 Black vs. VACANT © for the Bunny Title :3
#10 Grace Thoruson vs. Harmony Gray © for the Hellweight Title

Week 64: AT DOOM’S GATE 64 - (Twitch VOD)

Week 65: Way of the Warrior
AT DOOM’S GATE 64 was something for sure. The show with the highest average match rating yet and I don’t think we’ll top it any time soon. In the main Event Grace managed to deafeat her Friend Harmony Gray for the Hellweight Title. So a new champ is in town.

Let’s head into this new era, as always, with some wrestling. Dashosphere managed to defeat Fomore last week and is now out for DCB, if he can beat her he’ll still have to go through Nawt a Robutt before he gets to face Vacation Skeleton. As the agreement is, if Dash can defeat all of the Fun Gang in singles competition, Vacation Skeleton will pretend to know why they’re supposed to be mad at Dash.

Here’s the full match card.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Plumeria (“c”) vs. Palpatine

#2 Singles Match
Sexton Thicc vs. Vacation Skeleton

#3 Tag Team Match
1 1/2 Dragons vs. Lawful Good

#4 Singles Match
DCB vs. Dashosphere

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Austin Ramon vs. Black ©

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#7 Seven Deadly Pins
Supreme Sadim vs. Guzma vs. Super Samio vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. Suzan Blades vs. Kelsey Slaughter vs. Agnes Paragon vs. Koji Kojinaka ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Plumeria (“c”) vs. Palpatine
#2 Sexton Thicc vs. Vacation Skeleton
#3 1 1/2 Dragons vs. Lawful Good
#4 DCB vs. Dashosphere
#5 Austin Ramon vs. Black ©
#6 VACANT Open Challenge
#7 Seven Deadly Pins feat. Koji Kojinaka ©

Week 65: Way of the Warrior - (Twitch VOD)

Week 66: Six

Manic currently has the best gimmick: A losing streak. Six matches so far. Today he’s up against Young Devil Hank Muscles. Surely a freebie? Well, Hank did win his last match against a main Roster wrestler. It was a count-out but a win is a win.
Danny V5 gets to show what he’s about in a match that isn’t a Clusterfuck. We’ll also have Suzan vs. Mr. Shakedown. It’s been very long since they last faced. It was in the middle of Suzan’s Hellweight Reign, way back on Episode 12 - AT DOOM’S GATE (not 64) and Suzan retained that day. But that was a long time ago.
Also: Punk gets to die. Or is he? He did join a union, after all.
And in our Main Event we got Lawful Good challenging Pineapple Pizza for the Legion Tag Titles.

This week’s match card:

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Plumeria (“c”) vs. Hobo One Kevodki

#2 Singles Match
Hank Muscles vs. Manic Misanthrope

#3 Three-Way
Danny V5 vs. Apollo vs. Anna May

#4 No. 1 Contender Match (Hellweight Title)
Suzan Blades vs. Mr. Shakedown

#5 Bunny Championship
N-T Punk vs. Black ©

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#7 Legion Tag Championships
Lawful Good vs. Pineapple Pizza

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Plumeria (“c”) vs. Hobo One Kevodki for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Hank Muscles vs. Manic Misanthrope
#3 Danny V5 vs. Apollo vs. Anna May
#4 Suzan Blades vs. Mr. Shakedown
#5 N-T Punk vs. Black © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 VACANT Open Challenge
#7 Lawful Good vs. Pineapple Pizza © for the Legion Tag Titles

Week 66: Six - (Twitch VOD)

Week 67: Draft

Next week the skeleton wars will commences once more. Between two of our matches we will witness the draft into the skeleton wars.
We’ll also see Dash go against Nawt A Robutt to earn himself the chance to have Vacation Skeleton pretend that they know why they’re supposed to be mad at Dash. We also got a No. 1 Contender Match for the Tag titles. Danny V5 impressed in the three-way last week but can he follow it up against Black? This time VACANT faces a special challenger in Giovanni Abisso in a onc time only match-up. Abisso has been champion in several promotions such as BNW, FFPW and NWFU. And in the Main Event Boob Marley defends the Darkweight Title against Muscle Wizard.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Plumeria (“c”) vs. IGgy IGsen

Singles Match
Tara McFly vs. Grace Thoruson

#3 Singles Match
Nawt A Robutt vs. Dashosphere

#4 Legion No. 1 Contender Match
Fallout Boys vs. No Wizards Allowed

#5 Bunny Championship
Danny V5 vs. Black ©

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
Giovanni Abisso vs. VACANT

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Muscle Wizard vs. Boob Marley ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Plumeria (“c”) vs. IGgy IGsen for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Tara McFly vs. Grace Thoruson
#3 Nawt a Robutt vs. Dashosphere
#4 Fallout Boys vs. No Wizards Allowed
#5 Danny V5 vs. Black © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 Giovanni Abisso vs. VACANT
#7 Muscle Wizard vs. Boob Marley © for the Darkweight Title

Week 67: Draft - (Twitch VOD)

Week 68: skeleton wars 2

Oh, it’s time. Well, soon. This weekend. skeleton wars 2 with the Roll Dem Bones match featuring a reasonable amount of skeletons. However, the other matches also feature skeletons (encased in flesh, but they are still valid).

The most important match that features no skeletons is the Hellweight Title Match, of course. Suzan Blades attempts to recapture the title she put on the map against Grace Thoruson, who’s on a 10 match winning streak now.

Mr. Shakedown will challenge Black for the Bunny Title :3 though memories of Referee Joe’s visit from two weeks ago still linger. He implied something cursed would happen involving the Bunny Title perhaps? Maybe that thing will happen now. We can only wait and see.

And of course, the Roll Dem Bones match. Many strong skeletons await you. But there’s also a surprise skeleton teased.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Plumeria (“c”) vs. Canada Alderman (5 match singles losing streak? Oof!)

#2 Seven Deadly Pins
Midas Minoson vs. Arcade Legend ASS vs. Harley Havik vs. Lea Lionheart vs. Cock Thunder vs. A Mimic vs. Florida Man vs. Guzma ©

#3 Singles Match - Bunny Count-Out Reunion
Danny V5 vs. Cock Lightning

#4 Singles Match
Kayu Zakisaka vs. Spitbal

#5 Darkweight Championship
Dash vs. Muscle Wizard ©

#6 Legion Tag Championships
Wizards Not Allowed vs. Pineapple Pizza ©

#7 Bunny Championship :3
Mr. Shakedown vs. Black ©

#8 Roll Dem Bones
King Skeleton vs. Edgy Skeleton vs. Family Skeleton vs. Blood Skeleton vs. Big Bones vs. Vacation Skeleton vs. more skeleton

#9 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Suzan Blades vs. Grace Thoruson ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Plumeria (“c”) vs. Canada Alderman
#2 Seven Deadly Pins feat. Guzma ©
#3 Danny V5 vs. Cock Lightning
#4 Kayu Zakisaka vs. Spitbal
#5 Dash vs. Muscle Wizard © for the Darkweight Title
#6 Wizards Not Allowed vs. Pineapple Pizza © for the Legion Tag Titles
#7 Mr. Shakedown vs. Black © for the Bunny Title :3
#8 Roll Dem Bones
#9 Suzan Blades vs. Grace Thoruson © for the Infernal Hellweight Title

Week 68: skeleton wars 2 - (Twitch VOD)

The Story of the Bunny Championships :3 so far

The original Bunny Title :3 from LPFWA


OHPW’s Bunny Title >:3

The first Bunny Title was supposed to be a punishment by the Cosmic Bunnies for a slight offense against Bunnikind on part of Lotus Aura, funnily, because Lotus wanted t oget rid of the Pokeymanz Title because it gave him bad vibes. This is something that everyone who holds this title experiences eventually. The Bunny Title :3, however, turned out fine. The Bunnies soon forgot that it was supposed to make Lotus Fight and it became a fixture of LPFWA by being defended on every show as a kind of title for fighting champions. When Majestic Goat-Man and Link fought for the title in the Season 3 Finale Link, unintentionally or not, threw Goat-Man into the ropes with his throat first, breaking his neck in the process. Goat-Man finished and won that match.

The Cosmic Bunnies were impressed with Goat-Man’s performance and him winning not using any dirty tactics despite an injury sustained in the bout. So they blessed him with a new Bunny Title and if he only promised to officiate the matches of this new Bunny Title in a place outside of LPFWA they would repair his neck. He made the promise, his neck was healed. So he went to a fledging promotion that exists just outside of time to keep his promise. So we got quite a handful of fighters who earned and defended this new Bunny Title, intended as a blessing.

1st Champion: VACANT - 0 SDs - 0 Days
2nd Champion: Canada Alderman - 1 SD - 14 Days
3rd Champion: Mr. Shakedown - 4 SDs - 35 Days
4th Champion: Anna May - 1 SD - 21 Days
5th Champion: Maya Northwind - 0 SDs - 7 Days
6th Champion: Kayu Zakisaka - 0 SDs - 7 Days
7th Champion: Muscle Wizard - 1 SD - 14 Days
8th Champion: Manic Misanthrope - 2 SDs - 21 Days
9th Champion: Black - 2 SDs - 21 Days
10th Champion: Fomore - 1 SD - 14 Days
11th Champion: Guzma - 0 SDs - 7 Days
12th Champion: Roy - 4 SDs - 35 Days
13th Champion: Mr. Shakedown - 3 SDs - 28 Days
14th Champion: Hellranger Flamander - 3 SDs - 28 Days
15th Champion: Roy - 0 SDs - 7 Days
16th Champion: Palpatine - 6 SDs - 49 Days
17th Champion: Black - 7 SDs - 63 Days
18th Champion: Suzan Blades - 3 SDs - 28 Days
19th Champion: Nero Sin - 0 SDs - 7 Days (vacated title due to retirement)
20th Champion: VACANT - 7 SDs - 49 Days
21st Champion: Black - 4 SDs - 28 Days

An impressive lineage. But as it turns out, when the Cosmic Bunnies created this second Bunny Title :3 they accidentally created a Bunny Title >:3 because one of the bunnies slept poorly and was a bit grumpy. It was an accident, but one with consequences. So after That final Bunny Title defense Black had a gainst Mr. Shakedown… the Bunny Title >:3 transformed into the Pokeymanz Title that, ironically, was the reason the original Bunny Title :3 was created in the first place. Because a lot of the Pokeymanz Title’s history is more or less lost to time and only still available in my brain I’ll go over it real quick.

2013: The Pokeymanz is found in a trash can in the LPFWA arena by Referee Joe (before he became widely kown as that). No one knows how it got there. But at first they didn’t give it a name. The ref feels somehow obligated to make sure this title gets a champion and that that title gets defended. He finds two wrestlers backstage, one of which is Black, and makes them fight. Black emerges victorious and holds that title. For a while. Due to the fact that the title has to be defended against basically any challenger at any time people are calling this title the Pokeymanz Title. However, officially, at this point it’s known as Black’s Title due to black being the first and so far only champion. But Black gets some bad vibes from the Title. He choses to lose it on purpose by insisting on being booked in a gauntlet match. And fails to lose. Only in a second Gauntlet Match is he able to get rid of the title. And from here all kinds of different wrestlers held it. Somewhere down the road the title gets discarded by someone.

2024-2025: The Pokeymanz is found in a trash can in the LPFWA arena and a couple wrestlers fight over it Backstage. Dr. Rath wins it and defends it for a bit. It goes back and forth between quite a few wrestlers here, for a long time.

2027-2028: This is where Lotus commited a crime against Bunnikind by forcing Rara who’s very much in tune with her inner Bunny to pin him while she sleeps in an effort to get rid of the Pokeymanz Title that he held at the time. At this point the Title is still officially called Black’s Title, by the way, despite not being around for a long time. So it’s officially renamed to Pokeymanz Title. It’s around now that Konami Kouda discovers that the Pokeymanz Title is evil somehow. If she and her later ally Inspector Jane weren’t so bad about articulating themselves and didn’t come across as crazy people maybe someone would have believed them. Anyway, we don’t know what exactly happens if the Pokeymanz Title evolves again… yet.


The below is a post from my former Patreon which is no longer in use. I’ve appended it to the corresponding update post to preserve it.

Wow. It was a bit over a year ago that we had the first skeleton wars. And now we had a second one. And to think it was all born of the idea YerPalHal posted in our booking doc.


I understand that these two characters are skeletons, but what is a roll dem bones match? What are the stipulations here? Are there even specific rules? Does it just mean there’s skeletons? I DON’T KNOW! And it also doesn’t matter.

As you are able to see, the original idea was different from what ended up happening. Though, at the time the idea was written there IGgy hadn’t turned into a skeleton yet but was still using the broken IGgy persona. For those wondering: I thought turning him into a skeleton would be funny. That’s the entire reason. Now, with that addition, when the time came where we thought we should maybe go through with this idea there would be a modest three skeletons in the match. If you look at the PPV posters for skeleton wars and skeleton wars 2 you’ll see that these three are arranged in the exact same way on both of them. That’s because I just copypasted those three over…

I actually tweaked the designs of all three of those since the original skeleton wars, and I don’t just mean that with the advent of Parts craft we now got actual bone limbs. I generally made a lot of tweaks to a lot of designs over time. Neither I nor some of the people who helped me out had much of an idea of what we were doing. Overall the characters have a more unified look to them now despite still being some kinda weirdo freakshow.

What I want to point out about the poster of skeleton wars 2 is that the dril tweet that named it is still in the background, it’s just obscured by all the wrestlers. What isn’t as obscured is Sans’ dialogue from Undertale. Basically the only hint of him appearing that I ever gave.

But hey, that’s mainly some idle talk about fun facts. The next thing I’ll be talking about actually has an impact on how the show is booked.

The Pokeymanz Title! I posted a little history of the Bunny Titles in the threads so I won’t go too in depth here but basically the second Bunny Title (the one in OHPW) evolved into the Pokeymanz Title. The original Bunny Title was created as a contrast (and in kayfabe as a reaction to) the Pokeymanz Title, so I found it fitting to have it all come full circle here. Basically whe exchanged one title for the other. However, I didn’t do it just to shake things up.

Almost since the start the Bunny Title was defended on every show, and the VACANT Open Challenge also became a thing. There’s also the Jabroni royale. That means out of seven matches that we have on a regular show, three are already occupied by something. Now, for a while this was okay. But eventually I decided to add the Young Devils to matches, one a week, except PPVs until each of them had three matches to “learn from” (except Sexton, he’s special). Now that meant that for a while we only had 3 out of 7 matches to actually work with as we pleased, although that was only a very temporary circumstance with a clear end in sight I took this as a kind of wake-up call.

The Bunny Title is gone, and is replaced with a title defended whenever the champion happens to be booked. There might be more shenanigans but it’s basically a thing adding a layer of fun to whatever match we had lined up anyway. Furthermore, we got one extra match slot we can freely lose. ALSO: I never really announced this in any capacity, but the VACANT Open Challenge will no longer be a thing that happens every week, but once in a while. VACANT has had so many matches (60 to be exact. SIXTY… in 68 episodes!) that I think making them rarer will actually benefit the concept overall.

I’m not sure where this increase in freedom will take us overall, but I’m hoping for a better singles presence in the undercard in particular. Big main event matches are cool and all, but just throwing people together and seeing what happens is something that we haven’t really had a lot of since the early days of OHPW. And if this all turns out to be a mistake the Cosmic Bunnies can just make a third Bunny Title or we can find an excuse to get the one from LPFWA. We can also just bring back VACANT full time. See, it’s fool proof! But especially after the show has run for over a year I think some fresh wind will be welcomed by everyone who still watches it.

Whew, it’s been a while since I wrote one of these. But I kinda felt like it even though there currently are no partrons to read it. Sometimes it’s just nice to talk about something you’re passionate about with no one in particular. Maybe in a few years when I somehow become famous people will read this and think “Man, that IGgy fella sure used to be a lot less weird”

Week 69: Number
The skeleton wars have concluded and the only way to win was to either participate in it directly or view them. However, not doing either is very boring and means you are a capital L Loser!

Ah well, but we’ll now settle back into a weekly routine with our 69th episode. This number has no significance or memetic exclamations of how pleasurable it is to see that number to it at all (That I’m aware of, do prove me wrong if I’m wrong.)

Plumeria is still the Jabroni and Vacation Skeleton is challenging her. Mainly due to exiting the Roll Dem Bones first. Not because they did poorly but because they didn’t even give us spring break. That oughta be punished.
Sexton will go against Steve Dirt. I usually don’t give special mention to these but Sexton has had an encounter with Steve before. Feel free to watch it here. It wasn’t on the main Roster so I reckon not as many people have seen it. In that match Sexton just took ALL of the shit. And Florida Man was also there.
Moving to our Main Event, Spitbal gets to challenge Dash for the Darkweight Title.
And oh yeah, the Family Man, the Pokeymanz champ is in a match. So if he’s the one to take the fall the title will change hands.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Plumeria (“c”) vs. Vacation Skeleton

#2 Singles Match
Sexton Thicc vs. Steve Dirt

#3 Five-Way (First Fall)
Anna May vs. Family Man § vs. Suman vs. Cocademon vs. Mina Park

#4 Singles Match
Maya Northwind vs. Koji Kojinaka

#5 Singles Match
Fomore vs. Hayley Simmons

#6 Tag Team Match
Real Beer Float vs. School of Slam

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Spitbal vs. Dash Rendar’o’spherio yo ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Plumeria (“c”) vs. Vacation Skeleton for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Sexton Thicc vs. Steve Dirt
#3 Anna May vs. Family Man vs. Suman vs. Cocademon vs. Mina Park
#4 Maya Northwind vs. Koji Kojinaka
#5 Fomore vs. Hayley Simmons
#6 Real Beer Float vs. School of Slam
#7 Spitbal vs. Dash Rendar © for the Darkweight Title