OHPW - Business May Die [Fire Pro Wrestling World]

[IGgy]

Week 36: DETERMINATION

This Saturday our 9th Special Event, called DETERMINATION, will take place.

In our Main Event Malfest Goat-Monster challenges Pantah for the Hellweight Title after winning the Showdown Tournament in impressive fashion and even getting a shock victory over the legendary VACANT.

Speaking of beating VACANT: Only one person can get a shot at the Hellweight title on this show but EGO also managed to beat VACANT. So EGO will do battle with Fomore who is clawing their way into the title picture on an effort to become the first Quadruple Crown champion.

With Freddie Hope’s match against Flamander not happening for another four weeks he postpones his training at the Old Dojo for a little warm up against the entirety of the oRa 66. But not without the help of the Young Devils he’s been training.

Meanwhile, Flamander continues to hold the Bunny Championship :3 heading into his fourth defense against none other than Roy, who defended the Title four times before he lost it.

On a lighter note: Our Seven Deadly Pins match this time is all Hosses. The Battle of Hoss Angeles… or Hoss Diavolos, I dunno.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
N-T Punk © vs. Maya Northwind

#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Midas Minoson vs. Mr. Shakedown vs. Suzan Blades vs. Nero Sin vs. Black vs. Muscle Wizard vs. Cocademon vs. Boob Marley ©

#3 Darkweight Championship
Ryu vs. Supreme Sadim

#4 Tag Team Match
oRa 66 vs. Freddie Hope and the Young Devils

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Roy vs. Flamander ©

#6 Hellweight No. 1 Contender for JUDGEMENT NIGHT
Fomore vs. EGO

#7 Legion Tag Championship
The Dash Rendars vs. Harmony & Grace ©

#8 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT (26W/3L/0D)

#9 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Pantha ©

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 N-T Punk © vs. Maya Northwind for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Seven Deadly Pins - Battle of Hoss Angeles Edition feat. Boob Marley ©
#3 Ryu vs. Supreme Sadim © for the Darkweight Title
#4 oRa 66 vs. Freddie Hope and the Young Devils
#5 Roy vs. Flamander © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 Fomore vs. EGO
#7 The Dash Rendars vs. Harmony & Grace © for the Legion Tag Titles
#8 VACANT Open Challenge
#9 Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Pantha © for the Hellweight Title

[IGgy]

Week 36: DETERMINATION - (Twitch VOD)

Week 36: DETERMINATION

This Saturday our 9th Special Event, called DETERMINATION, will take place.

In our Main Event, Malfest Goat-Monster challenges Pantah for the Hellweight Title after winning the Showdown Tournament in impressive fashion and even getting a shock victory over the legendary VACANT.

Speaking of beating VACANT: Only one person can get a shot at the Hellweight title on this show but EGO also managed to beat VACANT. So EGO will do battle with Fomore who is clawing their way into the title picture on an effort to become the first Quadruple Crown champion.

With Freddie Hope’s match against Flamander not happening for another four weeks, he postpones his training at the Old Dojo for a little warm-up against the entirety of the oRa 66. But not without the help of the Young Devils he’s been training.

Meanwhile, Flamander continues to hold the Bunny Championship :3 heading into his fourth defense against none other than Roy, who defended the title four times before he lost it.

On a lighter note: Our Seven Deadly Pins match this time is all Hosses. The Battle of Hoss Angeles… or Hoss Diavolos, I dunno.

Scene: Harmony and Grace go to IGgy to confront him over not being on the PPV Poster and after giving them some spiel about the secret lineage of the Tag titles he readily admits he fucked up and offers to put them on some other poster when they aren’t on the card, whether they like it or not.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
N-T Punk © vs. Maya Northwind

Lots of submission wrestling here! So it’s fitting that Maya wins via Submission. Poor Punk, poor Explosion.

#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Midas Minoson vs. Mr. Shakedown vs. Suzan Blades vs. Nero Sin vs. Black vs. Muscle Wizard vs. Cocademon vs. Boob Marley ©

What the fuck. Like, what the actual fuck. I hate this. 77 minutes??? Fuck off! Oh, yeah, Muscle Wizard won with Bigdawgs Clenched Fist to the back of Suzan’s head, knocking her out.

#3 Darkweight Championship
Ryu vs. Supreme Sadim

Ryu battles his way upwards against Sadim and manages to defeat him with a Suplex into Kamigoye combo for the pin

Scene: Since we don’t know the Young Devils yet, despite them showing up already 13-14 episodes ago, they get to introduce themselves a bit. What a fun bunch.

#4 Tag Team Match
oRa 66 vs. Freddie Hope and the Young Devils

It was all fun and games until Palpy hits the Elbow Drop to the Ass followed by a Galactic Elbow to the back of the head for the pin, but he didn’t stop. He follows with another Galactic Elbow… TO THE ASS, JESUS CHRIST DUDE HE’S JUST A ROOKIE!

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Roy vs. Flamander ©

What a battle! Until Roy wins with a sneaky kick and roll-up. Or the Binding Blade as he calls it.

#6 Hellweight No. 1 Contender for JUDGEMENT NIGHT
Fomore vs. EGO

Oh crap! They fought hard. EGO hit the Superego multiple times but Fomore always kicked out. Fomore really wants this opportunity, apparently. Eventually, Fomore managed to lock in a Figure 4 Leg Lock for the win but they never did the CAP once. EGO also didn’t do their actual finisher, Egomatnia Running Wild.

#7 Legion Tag Championship
The Dash Rendars vs. Harmony & Grace ©

Okay, this was easily MOTN for me. You can’t not root for Harmony and Grace unless you’re a MEAN JERK. However, the Dashes won in a tragic twist, clean as a whistle with Shadows of the Empire, pinning Grace as Harmony couldn’t make it there in time.

#8 VACANT Open Challenge
King Skeleton vs. VACANT (26W/3L/0D)

So, VACANT lost two times in a row. So it’s time for some murder again. Yup, murder. But King Skelly gets the moral victory due to lasting one second longer than ten minutes. Still, RIP.

#9 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Pantha ©

Lotsa brutal stuff here, Chokeslam Powerbombs from Goat, but I don’t believe he hit the MGM Outta Nowhere once. Hell, I’m not even sure anymore he attempted it. Usually, he just fires the thing left and right and wins with it. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t beat Pantha. Though, it’s not like he got pinned or submitted. No, he passed out to the Pantha Claw. Silly MGM, heels aren’t supposed to look strong in defeat!

[IGgy]

OHPW - Week 37: Dawn
(Link for exact time and date etc., you know the deal)

Before we get to the card for this Saturday’s show…

Hell’s Gate 1: King Crimson - (Twitch VOD)

If you want to get a glimpse at some new people that might be joining the main roster at some point sooner or later here’s a show from our developmental territory. To avoid confusion:

• Different from Main Show
• Pre-recorded.
• Shorter runtime (30-45 Minutes)
• No Commentary
• Mostly different Roster (there’s some overlap, don’t worry, Maharaja is still in the main roster)
• A Tournament, currently, the finals of which will happen at the next PPV of our main show.
• This isn’t a regular weekly thing, but a “If I feel like it and got time” thing, though, this week and the next two will have an episode.

If you don’t have time or don’t want to watch it here’s the results

Tag Team Match
SHA-MO vs. Young Devils

This match got competitive at times but for the most part SHA-MO, consisting of Cock Lightning and Cock Thunder, had the upper hand. Cock Lightning takes the win with his finisher, Lightning Strikes.

Scene: Both members of SHA-MO praise the Young Devils for their efforts but what’s really on their mind is the fact that they have to face each other next week as part of the Tournament

Tournament Match
Ricc 2 Thicc vs. Florida Man

Ricc 2 Thicc essentially squashes Florida Man in a bit over three minutes. Florida Man barely got any hits in.

Scene: Steve Dirt finds Family Man backstage and they have a nice chat, however, Steve warns Family Man that he’s not so nice in the ring but invites him for beers afterwards.

Tournament Match
Family Man vs. Steve Dirt

Fuck. About 7-8 Minutes in Steve hits his Finisher, the Bloody Cross but Family Man kicks out, shortly after he hits it again but it’s a rope break. The rest of the match is Family Man hanging on by a thread, showing some real fire. But after over 20 Minutes of back and forth Steve Dirt hits the Bloody Cross again. Family Man’s finisher is a plain roll-up, if you’re wondering, he did it moments before getting pinned.

But now back to our regularly scheduled show.

DETERMINATION is over, but the show goes on. Flamander and Freddie are still locked into their feud, Fomore managed to earn an opportunity to become a Quadruple Crown champion at JUDGEMENT NIGHT the next PPV. We had a lot of title changes in general. In fact, the only title that didn’t change hands was the Hellweight. Changing our landscape quite a bit. And well, if you count the Jabroni Royale as a title then that also didn’t change. Poor Punk.

I swear, though, if the 7DP on this card lasts longer than 45 kayfabe minutes it’s gotta be Spike Chunsofts fault somehow… Ah well. The full card is below, of course.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
N-T Punk © vs. Boob Marley

#2 Four-Way (First Fall)
A Mimic vs. Undeddie Guerrero vs. Guzma vs. Inspector Jane

#3 Singles Match
Anus McMutton vs. Family Man

#4 Trios Tag Team Match
The Fun Gang vs. Fallout Boys

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Palpatine vs. Roy ©

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#7 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Canada Alderman vs. Apollo vs. Lemuel Post vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. Pine Appel vs. Cheese Pietzza vs. Team Skull Grunt Blue vs. Muscle Wizard ©

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 N-T Punk © vs. Boob Marley for the Jabroni Royale
#2 A Mimic vs. Undeddie Guerrero vs. Guzma vs. Inspector Jane
#3 Anus McMutton vs. Family Man
#4 The Fun Gang vs. Fallout Boys
#5 Palpatine vs. Roy © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 VACANT Open Challenge
#7 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal feat. Muscle Wizard ©

[IGgy]

Week 37: Dawn - (Twitch VOD)

OHPW - Week 37: Dawn
(Link for exact time and date etc., you know the deal)

Before we get to the card for this Saturday’s show…

Hell’s Gate 1: King Crimson - (Twitch VOD)

(Mainly spoilered because it spoils a character reveal)

If you want to get a glimpse at some new people that might be joining the main roster at some point sooner or later here’s a show from our developmental territory. To avoid confusion:

• Different from Main Show
• Pre-recorded.
• Shorter runtime (30-45 Minutes)
• No Commentary
• Mostly different Roster (there’s some overlap, don’t worry, Maharaja is still in the main roster)
• A Tournament, currently, the finals of which will happen at the next PPV of our main show.
• This isn’t a regular weekly thing, but a “If I feel like it and got time” thing, though, this week and the next two will have an episode.
• So basically bonus content.

If you don’t have time or don’t want to watch it here’s the results

Tag Team Match
SHA-MO vs. Young Devils

This match got competitive at times but for the most part SHA-MO, consisting of Cock Lightning and Cock Thunder, had the upper hand. Cock Lightning takes the win with his finisher, Lightning Strikes.

Scene: Both members of SHA-MO praise the Young Devils for their efforts but what’s really on their mind is the fact that they have to face each other next week as part of the Tournament

Tournament Match
Ricc 2 Thicc vs. Florida Man

Ricc 2 Thicc essentially squashes Florida Man in a bit over three minutes. Florida Man barely got any hits in.

Scene: Steve Dirt finds Family Man backstage and they have a nice chat, however, Steve warns Family Man that he’s not so nice in the ring but invites him for beers afterwards.

Tournament Match
Family Man vs. Steve Dirt

Fuck. About 7-8 Minutes in Steve hits his Finisher, the Bloody Cross but Family Man kicks out, shortly after he hits it again but it’s a rope break. The rest of the match is Family Man hanging on by a thread, showing some real fire. But after over 20 Minutes of back and forth Steve Dirt hits the Bloody Cross again. Family Man’s finisher is a plain roll-up, if you’re wondering, he did it moments before getting pinned.

But now back to our regularly scheduled show.

DETERMINATION is over, but the show goes on. Flamander and Freddie are still locked into their feud, Fomore managed to earn an opportunity to become a Quadruple Crown champion at JUDGEMENT NIGHT the next PPV. We had a lot of title changes in general. In fact, the only title that didn’t change hands was the Hellweight. Changing our landscape quite a bit. And well, if you count the Jabroni Royale as a title then that also didn’t change. Poor Punk.

I swear, though, if the 7DP on this card lasts longer than 45 kayfabe minutes it’s gotta be Spike Chunsofts fault somehow… Ah well. The full card is below, of course.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
N-T Punk © vs. Boob Marley

This shall not be the Summer of Punk… well summer is over anyway. Boob wins here. Not exactly surprising anyone.

Scene: Kelsey Slaughter comes to the ring and announces the Bloodtober Gorefest 2019, which is four-way landmine deathmatch

#2 Four-Way (First Fall)
A Mimic vs. Undeddie Guerrero vs. Guzma vs. Inspector Jane

Undeddie and Mimic do a sick double dive on Guzma. But that doesn’t prevent Guzma from winning the match by pinning Undeddie.

#3 Singles Match
Anus McMutton vs. Family Man

Oh how far Anus has fallen… Family Man always tries his best and against this incarnation of Angus it was enough. Family Man, the wrestler built to lose… gets a win.

#4 Trios Tag Team Match
The Fun Gang vs. Fallout Boys

Lots of powerbombs and variations were dished out. It turned out that DCB’s Blue Thunder Bomb, called “A Latte With Your Name On It” would be the one Doc Mutant couldn’t kick out of.

Scene: Flamander has threatened some crew member into conducting a phony interview. Even here Flamander half-asses the answers to the questions he himself wrote.

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Palpatine vs. Roy ©

Palpy somehow defeated Roy… the oRa 66 didn’t even have to interfere, really. It was sad.

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
Anna May vs. VACANT

Last time Anna May lasted over 10 Minutes against VACANT. This time she didn’t. Took 8:01 till she couldn’t get back up again.

Scene: Door-Chan is found viciously beaten in the hallways and IGgy is devastated at the find, promising to fix her up again and swearing some kind of revenge.

#7 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Canada Alderman vs. Apollo vs. Lemuel Post vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. Pine Appel vs. Cheese Pietzza vs. Team Skull Grunt Blue vs. Muscle Wizard ©

Tis should have been a 7DP like any other, however, partway through Hobo KO’d Team Skull Grunt Blue and for long stretches of the remaining matches people were too busy looking at Blue’s corpse to wrestle. Thankfully it didn’t take a full hour until Lemuel managed to submit Hobo at the end.

[IGgy]

Week 38: Day
Click here for the exact time of this Saturday’s show, as usual.

Before getting to the card for this week here’s another episode of Hell’s Gate

OHPW - Hell’s Gate #2: Battle Cocks - (Twitch VOD)

If you’re only gonna watch one match from that card I recommend the first one. Steve Dirt vs. Florida Man vs. Sexton Thicc in a Landmine Deathmatch. Many explosions and buckets of blood.

Here’s the Results

Landmine Death Match
Steve Dirt vs. Florida Man vs. Sexton Thicc

Holy shit! They beat the absolute everliving crap out of each other! Sexton gets the worst of it, and ultimantely is submitted by Steve with a Buffalo Sleeper.

Scene: Florida Man steps in front of the promo wall and starts gushing about the match, Steve joins and lets out a guttural scream. Florida Man also waves Sexton over to commend him for actually doing the match with them, Steve screams again, suppusedly in approval. Then Sexton collapses from blood loss while Steve screams some more.

Tournament Match
Great Maharaja vs. Arcade Legend ASS

Maharaja, unhappy with being borrowed to the developmental show vows to tear ASS apart. However, she’s a real Arcade Legend and video games have taught her that bears are farily low tier enemies. So she takes the win!

Scene: ASS explains that she is used to fighting opponents bigger than her due to playing video games a lot. And vows to take down whoever is next, curious about whether it’ll be the big guy of the fast guy.

Tournament Match
Cock Lightning vs. Cock Thunder

It’s brother vs. brother and they show that they know each other inside and out. Thunder is the one to barely take the win here after over 20 minutes.

As for our regular show:

Punk doesn’t deserve to face Anus. He did nothing wrong. Then again, Anus is kind of on a downward spin, having lost to Family Man, so who knows how this will go. Flamander’s first match after losing the Bunny Title :3 and possibly the last before facing Freddie in two weeks.
Guzma, meanwhile, attempts to capture said Bunny Title :3 from Palpatine who may or may not be trying to match his reign from the LPFWA days. And in the Main Event, Canada attempts to recapture the Darkweight Title in a match against Ryu.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
N-T Punk © vs. Anus McMutton

#2 Tag Team Match
Space Wizards vs. Team Skull (Pink and Plumeria)

#3 6-Way Elimination
The El Chad vs. Kayu Zakisaka vs. George Cluwney vs. Dash Rendar vs. Super Samio vs. Chief Engineer

#4 Singles Match
Flamander vs. Harley Havik

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Guzma vs. Palpatine ©

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Canada Alderman vs. Ryu ©

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 N-T Punk © vs. Anus McMutton for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Space Wizards vs. Team Skull
#3 The El Chad vs. Kayu vs. Cluwney vs. Dash vs. Samio vs. Chief Engineer
#4 Flamander vs. Harley Havik
#5 Guzma vs. Palpatine © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 VACANT Open Challenge
#7 Canada Alderman vs. Ryu © for the Darkweight Title

[IGgy]

OHPW - Week 38: Day - (Twitch VOD)

Week 38: Day
Click here for the exact time of this Saturday’s show, as usual.

Before getting to the card for this week here’s another episode of Hell’s Gate

OHPW - Hell’s Gate #2: Battle Cocks - (Twitch VOD)

If you’re only gonna watch one match from that card I recommend the first one. Steve Dirt vs. Florida Man vs. Sexton Thicc in a Landmine Deathmatch. Many explosions and buckets of blood.

Here’s the Results

Landmine Death Match
Steve Dirt vs. Florida Man vs. Sexton Thicc

Holy shit! They beat the absolute everliving crap out of each other! Sexton gets the worst of it, and ultimately is submitted by Steve with a Buffalo Sleeper.

Scene: Florida Man steps in front of the promo wall and starts gushing about the match, Steve joins and lets out a guttural scream. Florida Man also waves Sexton over to commend him for actually doing the match with them, Steve screams again, supposedly in approval. Then Sexton collapses from blood loss while Steve screams some more.

Tournament Match
Great Maharaja vs. Arcade Legend ASS

Maharaja, unhappy with being borrowed to the developmental show vows to tear ASS apart. However, she’s a real Arcade Legend and video games have taught her that bears are fairly low tier enemies. So she takes the win!

Scene: ASS explains that she is used to fighting opponents bigger than her due to playing video games a lot. And vows to take down whoever is next, curious about whether it’ll be the big guy of the fast guy.

Tournament Match
Cock Lightning vs. Cock Thunder

It’s brother vs. brother and they show that they know each other inside and out. Thunder is the one to barely take the win here after over 20 minutes.

As for our regular show:

Punk doesn’t deserve to face Anus. He did nothing wrong. Then again, Anus is kind of on a downward spin, having lost to Family Man, so who knows how this will go. Flamander’s first match after losing the Bunny Title :3 and possibly the last before facing Freddie in two weeks.
Guzma, meanwhile, attempts to capture said Bunny Title :3 from Palpatine who may or may not be trying to match his reign from the LPFWA days. And in the Main Event, Canada attempts to recapture the Darkweight Title in a match against Ryu.

Scene: Lawful Good discuss that IGgy is looking for someone to investigate the attack on Door-Chan, and who else would they go to? Then IGgy comes and walks right past the two, entering the locker room of the obvious detectives: The Fun Gang! IGgy and The Fun Gang then discuss possible culprits but ultimately they know nothing.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
N-T Punk © vs. Anus McMutton

EXPLOSION-CHAN DID IT!

#2 Tag Team Match
Space Wizards vs. Team Skull (Pink and Plumeria)

Grunt did a Tornado DDT on Jan for the win. The match was dangerously close to getting to 30 minutes.

#3 6-Way Elimination
The El Chad vs. Kayu Zakisaka vs. George Cluwney vs. Dash Rendar vs. Super Samio vs. Chief Engineer

Cocky as I am I decided to curse this match from the beginning, alluding to its length and using the Fight Forever chant. Thankfully, it didn’t quite go over an hour, but it was still over 40 minutes before Cluwney finally ended it all by submitting his tag partner Chief Engineer.

Scene: We got the camera crew into Freddie’s Dojo and he talks a bit about the facilities but then just rambles on. Clearly obsessed with the match against Flamander in 2 weeks.

#4 Singles Match
Flamander vs. Harley Havik

Flamander wins in a bit over 10 minutes. In the post-match attack, it looks like Harley is countering most of is post-match assault until he switches tactics.

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Guzma vs. Palpatine ©

What clusterfuck. Both wrestlers brought their stables with them. The only one Absent was Blue. But he did show up by interfering in the match for a minute or two before returning back to the locker room to recover from his match from a week ago. Overall Team Skull were one short and Palpy ended up winning the match.

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
Undeddie Guerrero vs. VACANT

After most of the previous matches running long I was kind of expecting a 30-minute classic here. But VACANT defeated Undeddie in under 8 minutes.

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Canada Alderman vs. Ryu ©

After most of the previous matches running long I was kind of expecting a 30-minute classic here. But Ryu defeated Canada in less than 10 minutes.

[IGgy]

OHPW - Week 39: Dusk
Click the link for the exact time of the show, as always.

It’s time for our Go-Home to JUDGEMENT NIGHT but it’s also time for the third and for now last (I don’t know for how long) episode of Hell’s Gate, determining our showcase match for the main show’s PPV.

Hell’s Gate #3: Into the Night - (Twitch VOD)

Singles Match
Hank Muscles vs. Tara McFly

The two rookies face off, and this time Tara stands tall.

Scene: Lightning tries to hype up Thunder but Thunder seems to be the more calculating type in a fight.

Tournament Match
Arcade Legend ASS vs. Cock Thunder

Thunder took ASS to Suplex City but you can’t get a gamer down with such cheap tactics, ASS manages to beat her larger opponent with a submission.

Tournament Match
Steve Dirt vs. Ricc 2 Thicc

It looks at first like Ricc has this but relatively early on Steve makes him bleed, which weakens him considerably, giving Steve some much needed opportunities to do damage… but it’s not enough. Steve Dirt is pinned with the Thicctory Roll.

Scene: Ricc 2 Thicc cuts a generic heel promo with a catch phrase at the end but is interrupted by ASS, who will be facing him in the finals at JUDGEMENT NIGHT on the main show. She merely comments that he doesn’t look that big and questions Ricc’s choice of words before leaving again. Ricc then finishes saying his catch phrase.

Our last show before JUDGEMENT NIGHT which will double as our Halloween episode. Punk struggles again, this time against Anna May, the evil clown gets a shot at the Bunny Title :3 and Plumeria and Pink, the two ladies from A HEEL STABLE CALLED TEAM SKULL have earned the right to be considered ultra babyfaces by facing The Dash Rendars for the Legion Tag Titles.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
N-T Punk © vs. Anna May

#2 Tag Team Match
Grace & Harmony vs. Pineapple Pizza

#3 Singles Match
Manic Misanthrope vs. Midas Minoson

#4 3-Way (First Fall)
Weeb Weaver vs. Supreme Sadim vs. EGO

#5 Bunny Championship :3
George Cluwney vs. Palpatine

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#7 Legion Tag Championships
Team Skull vs. The Dash Rendars

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 N-T Punk © vs. Anna May for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Grace & Harmony vs. Pineapple Pizza
#3 Manic Misanthrope vs. Midas Minoson
#4 Weeb Weaver vs. Supreme Sadim vs. EGO
#5 George Cluwney vs. Palpatine © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 VACANT Open Challenge
#7 Team Skull vs. The Dash Rendars © for the Legion Tag Titles

[IGgy]

OHPW - Week 39: Dusk - (Twitch VOD)

OHPW - Week 39: Dusk
Click the link for the exact time of the show, as always.

It’s time for our Go-Home to JUDGEMENT NIGHT but it’s also time for the third and for now last (I don’t know for how long) episode of Hell’s Gate, determining our showcase match for the main show’s PPV.

Hell’s Gate #3: Into the Night - (Twitch VOD)

Singles Match
Hank Muscles vs. Tara McFly

The two rookies face off, and this time Tara stands tall.

Scene: Lightning tries to hype up Thunder but Thunder seems to be the more calculating type in a fight.

Tournament Match
Arcade Legend ASS vs. Cock Thunder

Thunder took ASS to Suplex City but you can’t get a gamer down with such cheap tactics, ASS manages to beat her larger opponent with a submission.

Tournament Match
Steve Dirt vs. Ricc 2 Thicc

It looks at first like Ricc has this but relatively early on Steve makes him bleed, which weakens him considerably, giving Steve some much needed opportunities to do damage… but it’s not enough. Steve Dirt is pinned with the Thicctory Roll.

Scene: Ricc 2 Thicc cuts a generic heel promo with a catchphrase at the end but is interrupted by ASS, who will be facing him in the finals at JUDGEMENT NIGHT on the main show. She merely comments that he doesn’t look that big and questions Ricc’s choice of words before leaving again. Ricc then finishes saying his catchphrase.

Our last show before JUDGEMENT NIGHT which will double as our Halloween episode. Punk struggles again, this time against Anna May, the evil clown gets a shot at the Bunny Title :3 and Plumeria and Pink, the two ladies from A HEEL STABLE CALLED TEAM SKULL have earned the right to be considered ultra babyfaces by facing The Dash Rendars for the Legion Tag Titles.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
N-T Punk © vs. Anna May

Punk did a Michinoku Driver and a Reverse Hurancanrana to put Anna May on the barbed wire bats twice but after Anna locked in the Claw for the third time he still tapped. Poor Punk.

Scene: Vacation Skeleton investigates the Attack on Door-Chan. Turns out it was Mr. Shakedown… but that’s not the whole story.

#2 Tag Team Match
Grace & Harmony vs. Pineapple Pizza

Harmony got hit hard early on so Grace did most of the heavy lifting, however, against a Pineapple and a Pizza this simply wasn’t enough. Cheese Pietzza ends the match via submission.

Scene: Kelsey is just chilling as Maya comes in to accept her invitation to the Gorefest, The Hobo comes in and does the same thing… then Vacation Skeleton comes in and asks them if they attacked Door-Chan

#3 Singles Match
Manic Misanthrope vs. Midas Minoson

I’m only realizing this now but both their initials are MM. Well, in any case, this was a hard-fought match that Manic could decide in his favor via submission.

Scene: Vacation Skeleton investigates the Attack on Door-Cahn. Turns out it was A Mimic… but that’s not the whole story.

#4 3-Way (First Fall)
Weeb Weaver vs. Supreme Sadim vs. EGO

I’ll cut right to the ugly chase: Weeb is submitted by EGO using their own finisher. This is the second time this happened.

Scene: Flamander invades IGgy’s office and requests his match against Freddie be made a No DQ. IGgy just says yes. But then Vacation Skeleton shows up and asks them if they attacked Door-Chan.

#5 Bunny Championship :3
George Cluwney vs. Palpatine

It is with great sadness that I have to announce that Palpy fucking won again. Fuck.

Scene: Vacation Skeleton investigates the Attack on Do- wait no, he doesn’t. Undeddie Guerrero just straight up tells him he did it without VS having to ask. But… that’s not the whole story. The Mastermind has yet to reveal their self.

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
Ryu vs. VACANT

WE ARE APPROACHING TEN MINUTES, NO ONE’S BEEN DOWNED YET! But what’s this? Oh no, The Moonsault Stomp! Ryu is down for the first time! It didn’t take long after this happened, but Ryu couldn’t defeat VACANT. It ends via TKO.

Scene: Vacation Skeleton is trying to make sense of the Door-Chan situation and decides to look at the crime scene once more. After a few moments, the Mastermind just reveals themselves! It’s EGO, with Shakedown, Mimic and Undeddie in tow. They were all in cahoots. But what’s this? The Fun Gang and IGgy show up. IGgy’s decided that it’ll be The Fun Gang vs. the rampant doorphobes and he’ll help out as the fourth member of the tag team.

#7 Legion Tag Championships
Team Skull vs. The Dash Rendars

It is with great sadness that I have to announce that The Dash FUCKING Rendars rucking won again. Fuck.

[IGgy]

OHPW - Week 40: JUDGEMENT NIGHT

Click the image or this link for a special hype video package

JUDGEMENT NIGHT is upon us, let’s get ready for our tenth Special Event. The Fun Gang and IGgy go against the attackers of Door-Chan, Kelsey’s Blootober Gorefest will be celebrated, although, we appear to be one participant short, Freddie and Flamander finally face-off in a No DQ match and Fomore gets their chance at last and faces Pantha for the Infernal Hellweight Title in our main event. If they win they’ll be the first to hold all singles titles of OHPW.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
N-T Punk © vs. Inspector Jane

#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Great Maharaja vs. Lea Lionheart vs. King Skeleton vs. Cocademon vs. Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Black vs. Josef Dub vs. Lemuel Post

#3 Hell’s Gate Tournament Finals
Arcade Legend ASS vs. Ricc 2 Thicc

#4 Elimination Tag
The Fun Gang & IGgy vs. EGO, Mr. Shakedown, A Mimic and Undeddie Guererro

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Manic Misanthrope vs. Palpatine ©

#6 Bloodtober Gorefest 2019
Kelsey Slaughter vs. Maya Northwind vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. ???

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Roy vs. Ryu

#8 Legion Tag Championships
Pineapple Pizza vs. The Dash Rendars

#9 Singles Match - No DQ
Freddie Hope vs. Hellranger Flamander

#10 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#11 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Fomore vs. Pantha ©

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 N-T Punk © vs. Inspector Jane for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal feat. Lemuel Post ©
#3 Arcade Legend ASS vs. Ricc 2 Thicc
#4 The Fun Gang & IGgy vs. The people who attacked a door.
#5 Manic Misanthrope vs. Palpatine © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 Kelsey Slaughter vs. Maya Northwind vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. ???
#7 Roy vs. Ryu © for the Darkweight Title
#8 Pineapple Pizza vs. The Dash Rendars © for the Legion Tag Titles
#9 Freddie Hope vs. Hellranger Flamander
#10 VACANT Open Challenge
#11 Fomore vs. Pantha © for the Hellweight Title

[IGgy]

Week 40: JUDGEMENT NIGHT - (Twitch VOD)

OHPW - Week 40: JUDGEMENT NIGHT

Click the image or this link for a special hype video package

JUDGEMENT NIGHT is upon us, let’s get ready for our tenth Special Event. The Fun Gang and IGgy go against the attackers of Door-Chan, Kelsey’s Blootober Gorefest will be celebrated, although, we appear to be one participant short, Freddie and Flamander finally face-off in a No DQ match and Fomore gets their chance at last and faces Pantha for the Infernal Hellweight Title in our main event. If they win they’ll be the first to hold all singles titles of OHPW.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
N-T Punk © vs. Inspector Jane

They go toe to toe, we reach the 15:00 Minute mark, it’s over! But what’s this, N-T Punk dressed up as Jean Pierre Polnareff gets up! He’s rid himself of the Jabroni curse!

#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Great Maharaja vs. Lea Lionheart vs. King Skeleton vs. Cocademon vs. Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Black vs. Josef Dub vs. Lemuel Post

Another 7DP where the champ is the first one to be eliminated. Lea, who started out with him managed to make it all the way to the end but was locked into Cocademon’s Carbonated Footprint, giving Cocademon (dressed as Pepsiman) the win.

#3 Hell’s Gate Tournament Finals
Arcade Legend ASS vs. Ricc 2 Thicc

Tiny girl vs. HUGE GUY. This time, HUGE GUY won. He’s Ricc, he’s Ricc and he’s way too Thicc

#4 Elimination Tag
The Fun Gang & IGgy vs. EGO, Mr. Shakedown, A Mimic and Undeddie Guererro

A strong showing for the vile door attackers I guess. DCB got counted out, IGgy got pinned real quick, Robutt didn’t make it long after. Vacation Skeleton fought the longest but it was 1 on 3 after Mimic was pinned.

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Manic Misanthrope vs. Palpatine ©

Bummer. Manic was supposed to be The One ™ but Palpy somehow managed to beat Manic in less than six minutes.

Scene: Steve Dirt approaches Kelsey to request taking part in the Gorefest. She was initially skeptical but after seeing his ring attire becomes very enthusiastic about him joining the proceedings.

#6 Bloodtober Gorefest 2019
Kelsey Slaughter vs. Maya Northwind vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. ???

WHAT A BLOOD BATH! In the end it was Maya and Steve Dirt fighting for the dilapidated truck full of candy. But Maya wanted that candy so much she actually submitted everyone in that match.

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Roy vs. Ryu

Ryu was dressed as Ryu from Street Fighter while Roy was Ken from Street Fighter. And it turned out that Ryu always beats Ken.

#8 Legion Tag Championships
Pineapple Pizza vs. The Dash Rendars

Pne Appel and Cheese Pietzza must have learned that Dash Rendar once stole all the food from the moon. Probably including some Pineapples and Pizzas (never mind the fact that they created a vortex of infinite Pizza shortly after). Anyway, the Dashes got what they deserved and lost the titles to Pineapple Pizza!

Scene: LPFWA 2k18 modified Intro

#9 Singles Match
Freddie Hope vs. Hellranger Flamander

Boy. Freddie had control early on, doing The Worm, Flamanders finisher when he was still a face, multiple times. Eventually the match went outside for a long time. And when they returned to the ring the momentum shifted to Flamander’s favor and he took the win.

Scene: Freddie leaves the arena and returns to his locker room. Only to find Star Pilot Flamander who apparently exists here now in the same timeline as Hellranger Flamander. Weird.

#10 VACANT Open Challenge
Dash Rendar vs. VACANT

Today is a good day. Dash gets beaten up some more. Rip. It’s not even a TKO, he just couldn’t get up anymore after the second down.

#11 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Fomore vs. Pantha ©

Fomore’s ambition to amount to something, anything, even if it’s just having held all the singles titles in the company, was strong enough to overcome Pantha. Fomore is now the first person to have held the Bunny Title, the Darkweight Title, the Seven Deadly Pins Title and finally, the Infernal Hellweight Championship!

[IGgy]

Week 41: Demon King

We finally got a new Jabroni! This is all very exciting!
Well, we also got a new Hellweight Champion in Fomore but they aren’t on the show this weekend so back to the Jabroni, Jane, who will face off against her own tag partner, Lemuel.
EGO challenges for Palpy’s Bunny Title. I’m sure neither will show up alone.
And, after her standout performance in the Gorefest, Maya gets a shot at the Darkweight Title against Ryu.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Inspector Jane © vs. Lemuel Post

#2 Tag Team Match
Fallout Boys vs. Team Skull (Pink and Blue)

#3 Singles Match
Nero Sin vs. Lea Lionheart

#4 Elimination
Mina Park vs. Suzan Blades vs. Apollo vs. Muscle Wizard

#5 Bunny Championship :3
EGO vs. Palpatine ©

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Maya Northwind vs. Ryu ©

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Inspector Jane © vs. Lemuel Post for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Fallout Boys vs. Team Skull
#3 Nero Sin vs. Lea Lionheart
#4 Mina Park vs. Suzan Blades vs. Apollo vs. Muscle Wizard
#5 EGO vs. Palpatine © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 VACANT Open Challenge
#7 Maya Northwind vs. Ryu © for the Darkweight Title

[IGgy]

Week 41: Yeah I Had - (Twitch VOD)

Maya with her Gorefest Prize posted by phallen1 drawn by Lumineko

Fomore Had… a good merch design by PublicOpinion

Week 41: Demon King

We finally got a new Jabroni! This is all very exciting!
Well, we also got a new Hellweight Champion in Fomore but they aren’t on the show this weekend so back to the Jabroni, Jane, who will face off against her own tag partner, Lemuel.
EGO challenges for Palpy’s Bunny Title. I’m sure neither will show up alone.
And, after her standout performance in the Gorefest, Maya gets a shot at the Darkweight Title against Ryu.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Inspector Jane © vs. Lemuel Post

God damn, that’s a lot of blood. Lemuel manages to win this one, but he showed up in a hoodie because he was ashamed to have to fight his tag team partner and fellow Lawful Good aligned cop.

#2 Tag Team Match
Fallout Boys vs. Team Skull (Pink and Blue)

This match was 90% fooling around. It came as a shock to me that the match didn’t end with a Neck Crank on Rick, but it ended up being a camel clutch. That’s like a real hardcore neck crank.

#3 Singles Match
Nero Sin vs. Lea Lionheart

A very even match all the way to the end when Lea hit her Shooting Star Press she calls the Make-A-Wish for the 3

Scene: The Dashes argue over who’s the most stupid among them but they all think they are smart.

#4 Elimination
Mina Park vs. Suzan Blades vs. Apollo vs. Muscle Wizard

FFFFuuuuuuck! Muscle Wizard knocks out Suzan with Bigdawgs Clenched Fist again. Mina goes second, it ends with Apollo and Muscle Wizard in the ring and I don’t think it comes as a huge surprise to hear that the guy who knocked out the former and first Hellweight Champ Suzan Blades took the win.

#5 Bunny Championship :3
EGO vs. Palpatine ©

When too people I hate face each other it doesn’t matter who wins, I lose. But also whoever loses, I win! Well, it ended up being a count-out victory for Palpy so we all left disappointed.

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
Hellranger Flamander vs. VACANT

Flamander fought hard but just like always, once VACANT decides it’s time to win and whip out the Moonsault Stomps the fun ends. Flamander couldn’t get back up after the second down at around 12 minutes.

Scene: SATAN congratulates Fomore on the Hellweight Title win but when Fomore wants to say “Yeah, I had to fight harder for it than anybody else” it freezes at “Yeah I had”. Bottom Line is Fomore still has this weird brainworm where they think they are part of some corporate structure that doesn’t exist.

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Maya Northwind vs. Ryu ©

Because fukken EGO and Palpy went long Maya and Ryu had to rush it. They still crammed a lot of violence in these 10-11 minutes. But Ryu emerges victorious once more and becomes the first person to have more than two defenses with the Darkweight Title in a single run.

[IGgy]

Week 42: The Answer

This Saturday despite being fairly formidable and having a very dominant debut, Nero Sin has to defend against the Jabroni on Saturday. Losing to DCB and a debuting Lea just added up here… knowing Jane’s track record here she just might get punished for her sins.

Afterwards our former Hellweight Champ Pantha has her first match since losing the title. Against recent Jabroni Graduate N-T Punk and Showdown Tournament Runner-Up and Dominator of her block Harmony Gray

Vacation Skeleton has a match!

Can duel hungry Apollo end Palpy’s reign of terror. Honestly, I think Palpy just may piss Apollo off into submission. After all Apollo is a bit of a stickler for rules and Palpy only cares about how far he can bend the rules before he gets disqualified.

And our Main Event will be The Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal. As always, that#s the least predictable match and usually one of the more fun ones when it doesn’t take more than an hour (that’s been patched, by the way)

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Inspector Jane © vs. Nero Sin

#2 Three-Way First Fall
N-T Punk vs. Pantha vs. Harmony Gray

#3 Singles Match
Vacation Skeleton vs. Boob Marley

#4 Tag Team Match
School of Slam vs. oRa 66 (Anus and Josef)

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Apollo vs. Palpatine ©

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#7 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Grace Thoruson vs. Doctor Mutant vs. Weeb Weaver vs. DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Harley Havik vs. Zoltan vs. Midas Minoson vs. Cocademon ©

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Inspector Jane © vs. Nero Sin for the Jabroni Royale
#2 N-T Punk vs. Pantha vs. Harmony Gray
#3 Vacation Skeleton vs. Boob Marley
#4 School of Slam vs. oRa 66
#5 Apollo vs. Palpatine © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 VACANT Open Challenge
#7 Seven Deadly Pins feat. Cocademon ©