OHPW - Week 37: Dawn
(Link for exact time and date etc., you know the deal)
Before we get to the card for this Saturday’s show…
Hell’s Gate 1: King Crimson - (Twitch VOD)
(Mainly spoilered because it spoils a character reveal)
If you want to get a glimpse at some new people that might be joining the main roster at some point sooner or later here’s a show from our developmental territory. To avoid confusion:
- Different from Main Show
- Pre-recorded.
- Shorter runtime (30-45 Minutes)
- No Commentary
- Mostly different Roster (there’s some overlap, don’t worry, Maharaja is still in the main roster)
- A Tournament, currently, the finals of which will happen at the next PPV of our main show.
- This isn’t a regular weekly thing, but a “If I feel like it and got time” thing, though, this week and the next two will have an episode.
- So basically bonus content.
If you don’t have time or don’t want to watch it here’s the results
But now back to our regularly scheduled show.
DETERMINATION is over, but the show goes on. Flamander and Freddie are still locked into their feud, Fomore managed to earn an opportunity to become a Quadruple Crown champion at JUDGEMENT NIGHT the next PPV. We had a lot of title changes in general. In fact, the only title that didn’t change hands was the Hellweight. Changing our landscape quite a bit. And well, if you count the Jabroni Royale as a title then that also didn’t change. Poor Punk.
I swear, though, if the 7DP on this card lasts longer than 45 kayfabe minutes it’s gotta be Spike Chunsofts fault somehow… Ah well. The full card is below, of course.
#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
N-T Punk (c) vs. Boob Marley
This shall not be the Summer of Punk… well summer is over anyway. Boob wins here. Not exactly surprising anyone.
Scene: Kelsey Slaughter comes to the ring and announces the Bloodtober Gorefest 2019, which is four-way landmine deathmatch
#2 Four-Way (First Fall)
A Mimic vs. Undeddie Guerrero vs. Guzma vs. Inspector Jane
Undeddie and Mimic do a sick double dive on Guzma. But that doesn’t prevent Guzma from winning the match by pinning Undeddie.
#3 Singles Match
Anus McMutton vs. Family Man
Oh how far Anus has fallen… Family Man always tries his best and against this incarnation of Angus it was enough. Family Man, the wrestler built to lose… gets a win.
#4 Trios Tag Team Match
The Fun Gang vs. Fallout Boys
Lots of powerbombs and variations were dished out. It turned out that DCB’s Blue Thunder Bomb, called “A Latte With Your Name On It” would be the one Doc Mutant couldn’t kick out of.
Scene: Flamander has threatened some crew member into conducting a phony interview. Even here Flamander half-asses the answers to the questions he himself wrote.
#5 Bunny Championship :3
Palpatine vs. Roy (c)
Palpy somehow defeated Roy… the oRa 66 didn’t even have to interfere, really. It was sad.
#6 VACANT Open Challenge
Anna May vs. VACANT
Last time Anna May lasted over 10 Minutes against VACANT. This time she didn’t. Took 8:01 till she couldn’t get back up again.
Scene: Door-Chan is found viciously beaten in the hallways and IGgy is devastated at the find, promising to fix her up again and swearing some kind of revenge.
#7 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Canada Alderman vs. Apollo vs. Lemuel Post vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. Pine Appel vs. Cheese Pietzza vs. Team Skull Grunt Blue vs. Muscle Wizard (c)
Tis should have been a 7DP like any other, however, partway through Hobo KO’d Team Skull Grunt Blue and for long stretches of the remaining matches people were too busy looking at Blue’s corpse to wrestle. Thankfully it didn’t take a full hour until Lemuel managed to submit Hobo at the end.
