OHPW - Business May Die [Fire Pro Wrestling World]

Week 32: ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN
:siren: The show will be one hour earlier than usual to not interfere with AEW’s ALL OUT. :siren:

It’s time for the ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN.

Can Kayu finally overcome the curse of the Jabroni Royale? Who will commit the seven deadly pins? Is DCBs Coffee just a euphemism for attempting a beating on a much bigger opponent? Just how stupid are The Dash Rendars? We shall see.

Flamander will fight Shakedown for the Bunny Title, Cocademon gets a shot at the Darkweight due to his performance in the Showdown Tournament. 1/2 Dragons challenge the newly crowned oRa 66 for the Legion Tag Titles due to Roy’s singles performance lately and Ryu’s performance in the Showdown Tournament. Of Course, VACANT’s Open Challenge still stands and the namesake of the show the Finals of the Showdown Tournament will take place. The Undefeated Harmony Gray goes against Malfest Goat-Monster. But of course, the Main Event is the big one, the Infernal Hellweight Championship. Over the last weeks Canada has earned her right to challenge Pantha not only for a chance to become the third Hellweight champion but also to become the first Quadruple Crown champion having held the Seven Deadly Pins, the Bunny Title :3, the Darkweight Title and the Hellweight Title.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Undeddie Guerrero

#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Apollo vs. Zoltan vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. Kelsey Slaughter vs. Jan Itor vs. Doctor Mutant vs. Rick Wreckage vs. A Mimic ©

#3 Singles Match
DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Nero Sin

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Hellranger Flamander vs. Mr. Shakedown ©

#5 Tag Team Match
The Dash Rendars vs. Team Skull

#6 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Cocademon vs. Black ©

#7 Legion Tag Championships
1 1/2 Dragons vs. oRa 66 ©

#8 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#9 Showdown Tournament Finals
Harmony Gray vs. Malfest Goat-Monster

#10 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Canada Alderman vs. Pantha ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Undeddie Guerrero for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal feat. A Mimic ©
#3 DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Nero Sin
#4 Hellranger Flamander vs. Mr. Shakedown © for the Bunny Title :3
#5 The Dash Rendars vs. Team Skull
#6 Cocademon vs. Black © for the Darkweight Title
#7 1 1/2 Dragons vs. oRa 66 © for the Legion Tag Titles
#8 VACANT Open Challenge
#9 Harmony Gray vs. Malfest Goat-Monster - Showdown Final
#10 Canada Alderman vs. Pantha © for the Hellweight Title

Week 32: ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN - (Twitch VOD)

Week 33: Fair and Square

The Showdown Tournament is over now, Malfest Goat-Monster has taken the win. Our shows can now have the tried and tested seven matches again.
I say this every time, but Kayu could indeed finally get rid of the Jabroni this time. A newcomer, Midas, will go against five others, including Suzan Blades and Manic Misanthrope. Last week Palpy challenged Freddie to a fair-and-square match, though, we don’t really believe him that it’ll be fair. It’s been a while since we’ve seen either Lawful Good or Pineapple Pizza, so they will face-off this week. And finally, Grace, along with Showdown runner-up Harmony will go against the 1 1/2 Dragons for the Legion Tag Titles.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Rick Wreckage

#2 Six-Way Elimination
Midas Minoson vs. George Cluwney vs. Super Samio vs. Manic Misanthrope vs. Josef Dub vs. Suzan Blades

#3 Singles Match
Palpatine vs. Freddie Hope

#4 Tag Team Match
Lawful Good vs. Pineapple Pizza

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Apollo vs. Hellranger Flamander ©

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#7 Legion Tag Championships
Harmony and Grace vs. 1 1/2 Dragons ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Kayu Zakisaka vs. Rick Wreckage for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Midas Minoson vs. Cluwney vs. Samio vs. Manic vs. Josef vs. Suzan
#3 Palpatine vs. Freddie Hope
#4 Lawful Good vs. Pineapple Pizza
#5 Apollo vs. Hellranger Flamander © for the Bunny Title
#6 VACANT Open Challenge
#7 Harmony & Grace vs. 1 1/2 Dragons © for the Legion Tag Titles

Week 33: Fair and Square - (Twitch VOD)

What a weird episode this was.
Something unexpected, planned or not (mostly not) happened in basically every match. There were upsets… one match went obscenely long (on that note: our previous longest match with over 45 minutes is no longer our longest match) and an old rivalry heats up in the way you’d least expect…

All right… uh… since this episode had our new longest match let’s contrast this episode with the one that has our second-longest match. This happens to be the first episode.


This is just some basic stats, really. Such as Number of matches, Scenes, Wrestlers booked in matches and so on but since I compiled it I might as well show it.

Between those two episodes, we had 268 matches. Out of those only 9 were longer than 30 minutes in game-time while 31 were nine minutes or shorter. Only one of those was less than five minutes. The average time across all matches was 15:46 (14:15 for singles matches)
Including those two episodes, the average match time for all matches goes up to 16:04 (while the average time for singles matches goes down to 14:10)

OHPW - Week 34: Hungry Devil
OHPW streams again this saturday at the usual time.

Last week’s show was full of weirdness. Among other things, VACANT was defeated by Malfest Goat-Monster. Much like the other time VACANT has been defeated they will take a week off after a 21 match long undefeated streak. You could say that Malfest Goat-Monster is the 1 in 21-1. Though if we include all the matches before that it’s more like 26-2.


Of course, that’s still impressive.

Anyway. Next show will begin with Rick Wreckage trying to rid himself of the Jabroni Royale he acquired from Kayu Zakisaka last week. Family man will wrestle his first match against Midas. Following up on on a random remark last week Manic will team with IGgy to see if he is any good at tag matches. In our two title matches, we’ll have Samio challenge Flamander for the Bunny Title :3 and Sadim going up against Black for the Darkweight belt. The full match card is below:

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Rick Wreckage © vs. N-T Punk

#2 Singles Match
Family Man vs. Midas Minoson

#3 Tag Team Match
Manic and IGgy vs. Wizards Not Allowed

#4 Three-Way One-Fall
Hobo One Kevodki vs. Weeb Weaver vs. EGO

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Super Samio vs. Hellranger Flamander ©

#6 Singles Match
Fomore vs. Harley Havik

#7 Darkweight Championship
Supreme Sadim vs. Black ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Rick Wreckage © vs. N-T Punk for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Family Man vs. Midas Minoson
#3 Manic & IGgy vs. Wizards Not Allowed
#4 Hobo One Kevodki vs. Weeb Weaver vs. EGO
#5 Super Samio vs. Hellranger Flamander © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 Fomore vs. Harley Havik
#7 Supreme Sadim vs. Black © for the Darkweight Title

Week 34 - Hungry Devils - (Twitch VOD)

Week 35: Pre-DETERMINATION

We are one week removed from DETERMINATION so let’s get ready for that with, you guessed it, more wrestling.
Punk has finally earned the Jabroni Royale, but can he get rid of it again? Or will Weeb destroy him.
It pains me greatly but The Dash Rendars are in the No. 1 Contenders match for the Tag titles. Muscle Wizard is here to try and win the Bunny Title :3 for a second time, but Flamander is the one in his way so good luck, pal!
VACANT is back and ready to destroy while in our main event Kelsey will attempt to defend the Seven Deadly Pins Title against seven challengers.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
N-T Punk © vs. Weeb Weaver

#2 Three-Way First Fall
Vacation Skeleton vs. Anna May vs. Maya Northwind

#3 Singles Match
Nero Sin vs. King Skeleton

#4 Legion Tag No. 1 Contender Match
The Dash Rendars vs. Lawful Good

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Muscle Wizard vs. Hellranger Flamander ©

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#7 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Nawt a Robutt vs. Haz Matt vs. Great Maharaja vs. Boob Marley vs. Kayu Zakisaka vs. Plumeria vs. Ryu vs. Kelsey Slaughter ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 N-T Punk © vs. Weeb Weaver for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Vacation Skeleton vs. Anna May vs. Maya Northwind
#3 Nero Sin vs. King Skeleton
#4 The Dash Rendars vs. Lawful Good
#5 Muscle Wizard vs. Hellranger Flamander © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 VACANT Open Challenge
#7 Seven Deadly Pins feat. Kelsey Slaughter ©

Week 35: Pre-DETERMINATION - (Twitch VOD)

Week 36: DETERMINATION

This Saturday our 9th Special Event, called DETERMINATION, will take place.

In our Main Event Malfest Goat-Monster challenges Pantah for the Hellweight Title after winning the Showdown Tournament in impressive fashion and even getting a shock victory over the legendary VACANT.

Speaking of beating VACANT: Only one person can get a shot at the Hellweight title on this show but EGO also managed to beat VACANT. So EGO will do battle with Fomore who is clawing their way into the title picture on an effort to become the first Quadruple Crown champion.

With Freddie Hope’s match against Flamander not happening for another four weeks he postpones his training at the Old Dojo for a little warm up against the entirety of the oRa 66. But not without the help of the Young Devils he’s been training.

Meanwhile, Flamander continues to hold the Bunny Championship :3 heading into his fourth defense against none other than Roy, who defended the Title four times before he lost it.

On a lighter note: Our Seven Deadly Pins match this time is all Hosses. The Battle of Hoss Angeles… or Hoss Diavolos, I dunno.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
N-T Punk © vs. Maya Northwind

#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Midas Minoson vs. Mr. Shakedown vs. Suzan Blades vs. Nero Sin vs. Black vs. Muscle Wizard vs. Cocademon vs. Boob Marley ©

#3 Darkweight Championship
Ryu vs. Supreme Sadim

#4 Tag Team Match
oRa 66 vs. Freddie Hope and the Young Devils

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Roy vs. Flamander ©

#6 Hellweight No. 1 Contender for JUDGEMENT NIGHT
Fomore vs. EGO

#7 Legion Tag Championship
The Dash Rendars vs. Harmony & Grace ©

#8 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT (26W/3L/0D)

#9 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Pantha ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 N-T Punk © vs. Maya Northwind for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Seven Deadly Pins - Battle of Hoss Angeles Edition feat. Boob Marley ©
#3 Ryu vs. Supreme Sadim © for the Darkweight Title
#4 oRa 66 vs. Freddie Hope and the Young Devils
#5 Roy vs. Flamander © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 Fomore vs. EGO
#7 The Dash Rendars vs. Harmony & Grace © for the Legion Tag Titles
#8 VACANT Open Challenge
#9 Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Pantha © for the Hellweight Title

Week 36: DETERMINATION - (Twitch VOD)

OHPW - Week 37: Dawn
(Link for exact time and date etc., you know the deal)

Before we get to the card for this Saturday’s show…

Hell’s Gate 1: King Crimson - (Twitch VOD)

If you want to get a glimpse at some new people that might be joining the main roster at some point sooner or later here’s a show from our developmental territory. To avoid confusion:

  • Different from Main Show
  • Pre-recorded.
  • Shorter runtime (30-45 Minutes)
  • No Commentary
  • Mostly different Roster (there’s some overlap, don’t worry, Maharaja is still in the main roster)
  • A Tournament, currently, the finals of which will happen at the next PPV of our main show.
  • This isn’t a regular weekly thing, but a “If I feel like it and got time” thing, though, this week and the next two will have an episode.

If you don’t have time or don’t want to watch it here’s the results

But now back to our regularly scheduled show.

DETERMINATION is over, but the show goes on. Flamander and Freddie are still locked into their feud, Fomore managed to earn an opportunity to become a Quadruple Crown champion at JUDGEMENT NIGHT the next PPV. We had a lot of title changes in general. In fact, the only title that didn’t change hands was the Hellweight. Changing our landscape quite a bit. And well, if you count the Jabroni Royale as a title then that also didn’t change. Poor Punk.

I swear, though, if the 7DP on this card lasts longer than 45 kayfabe minutes it’s gotta be Spike Chunsofts fault somehow… Ah well. The full card is below, of course.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
N-T Punk © vs. Boob Marley

#2 Four-Way (First Fall)
A Mimic vs. Undeddie Guerrero vs. Guzma vs. Inspector Jane

#3 Singles Match
Anus McMutton vs. Family Man

#4 Trios Tag Team Match
The Fun Gang vs. Fallout Boys

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Palpatine vs. Roy ©

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#7 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Canada Alderman vs. Apollo vs. Lemuel Post vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. Pine Appel vs. Cheese Pietzza vs. Team Skull Grunt Blue vs. Muscle Wizard ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 N-T Punk © vs. Boob Marley for the Jabroni Royale
#2 A Mimic vs. Undeddie Guerrero vs. Guzma vs. Inspector Jane
#3 Anus McMutton vs. Family Man
#4 The Fun Gang vs. Fallout Boys
#5 Palpatine vs. Roy © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 VACANT Open Challenge
#7 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal feat. Muscle Wizard ©

Week 37: Dawn - (Twitch VOD)

Week 38: Day
Click here for the exact time of this Saturday’s show, as usual.

Before getting to the card for this week here’s another episode of Hell’s Gate

OHPW - Hell’s Gate #2: Battle Cocks - (Twitch VOD)

If you’re only gonna watch one match from that card I recommend the first one. Steve Dirt vs. Florida Man vs. Sexton Thicc in a Landmine Deathmatch. Many explosions and buckets of blood.

Here’s the Results

As for our regular show:

Punk doesn’t deserve to face Anus. He did nothing wrong. Then again, Anus is kind of on a downward spin, having lost to Family Man, so who knows how this will go. Flamander’s first match after losing the Bunny Title :3 and possibly the last before facing Freddie in two weeks.
Guzma, meanwhile, attempts to capture said Bunny Title :3 from Palpatine who may or may not be trying to match his reign from the LPFWA days. And in the Main Event, Canada attempts to recapture the Darkweight Title in a match against Ryu.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
N-T Punk © vs. Anus McMutton

#2 Tag Team Match
Space Wizards vs. Team Skull (Pink and Plumeria)

#3 6-Way Elimination
The El Chad vs. Kayu Zakisaka vs. George Cluwney vs. Dash Rendar vs. Super Samio vs. Chief Engineer

#4 Singles Match
Flamander vs. Harley Havik

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Guzma vs. Palpatine ©

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Canada Alderman vs. Ryu ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 N-T Punk © vs. Anus McMutton for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Space Wizards vs. Team Skull
#3 The El Chad vs. Kayu vs. Cluwney vs. Dash vs. Samio vs. Chief Engineer
#4 Flamander vs. Harley Havik
#5 Guzma vs. Palpatine © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 VACANT Open Challenge
#7 Canada Alderman vs. Ryu © for the Darkweight Title