OHPW - Business May Die [Fire Pro Wrestling World]

[IGgy]

Week 29: Showdown A-Block Finals

This weekend OHPW will have a very singles-heavy episode. I don’t think we ever had one where every match (except for the main event) was a singles match. Kayu gets a chance to become the hero that forces the Jabroni Royale onto Dash. Flamander makes his return after 11 weeks of abscence and is looking to clip Lemuel’s wings. Fomore gets their requedted match against IGgy, somehow. Must have accidentally booked that. Having recently become the first two-time Bunny Champion :3 Mr. Shakedown face Kelsey has his first challenger. Can he top his former reign?

For our tournament action we’ll have the Block Finals of A-Block. Harmony has already mathematically won the block but this is about her getting a perfect score. For everyone else it’s about following as closely as possible. Well, for King Skelly it’s about getting points at all. Compare this to our B-Block action for next week, where we have a three-way tie going into the Block Finals.

And Finally, in our main event, we’ll have the Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal in which reigning 7DP champ Nawt A Robutt has to defend the title against seven others.

Below is the full card.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Dash Rendar

#2 Singles Match
Hellranger Flamander vs. Lemuel Post

#3 Singles Match
Fomore vs. IGgy IGsen

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Kelsey Slaughter vs. Mr. Shakedown (c9)

#5 VACANT Open Challenge
Someone vs. VACANT

#6-8
Grace Thoruson (4) vs. King Skeleton (0)
Harmony Gray (8) vs. HazMatt (4)
Boob Marley (4) vs. Hobo One Kevodki (4)

#9 Seven Deadly Pins
Palpatine vs. Pine Appel vs. Mina Park vs. Guzma vs. Josef Dub vs. Mimic vs. Great Maharaja vs. Nawt A Robutt ©

Here we have the current Tournament Standings going into the finals for each block:

A-Block: Harmony already won this. The last round will still take place but for Harmony this is essentially about getting a perfect run. For everybody else it’s about getting second place, or at least not getting last place.

B-Block: Here we have a more exciting situation. Malfest Goat-Monster, Cocademon and Ryu enter the final round tied with 6 points each. Everyone else is out. Weeb could get a tie-breaker over Cocademon but it doesn’t matter because Ryu and MGM have tiebreakers over them. Right now the situation in terms of tie breakers among the ones still in the race is as follows: Cocademon > Ryu > MGM > Cocademon. The thing is, in the final round all of them could end up with 8 points. Since our tie-breakers make for a nice circle this would mean we have a true tie and we need another match to decide who advances to the finals.

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Dash Rendar for the Jabronin Royale
#2 Hellranger Flamander vs. Lemuel Post
#3 Fomore vs. IGgy IGsen
#4 Kelsey Slaughter vs. Mr. Shakedown © for the Bunny Title :3
#5 VACANT Open Challenge
#6 Grace Thoruson (4) vs. King Skeleton (0) SD-AFinal
#7 Harmony Gray (8) vs. HazMatt (4) SD-AFinal
#8 Boob Marley (4) vs. Hobo One Kevodki (4) SD-AFinal
#9 Seven Deadly Pins feat. Nawt A Robutt ©

[IGgy]

Week 29: The Letter G - (Twitch VOD)

Week 29: Showdown A-Block Finals

This weekend OHPW will have a very singles-heavy episode. I don’t think we ever had one where every match (except for the main event) was a singles match. Kayu gets a chance to become the hero that forces the Jabroni Royale onto Dash. Flamander makes his return after 11 weeks of abscence and is looking to clip Lemuel’s wings. Fomore gets their requedted match against IGgy, somehow. Must have accidentally booked that. Having recently become the first two-time Bunny Champion :3 Mr. Shakedown face Kelsey has his first challenger. Can he top his former reign?

For our tournament action we’ll have the Block Finals of A-Block. Harmony has already mathematically won the block but this is about her getting a perfect score. For everyone else it’s about following as closely as possible. Well, for King Skelly it’s about getting points at all. Compare this to our B-Block action for next week, where we have a three-way tie going into the Block Finals.

And Finally, in our main event, we’ll have the Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal in which reigning 7DP champ Nawt A Robutt has to defend the title against seven others.

Below is the full card.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Dash Rendar

I can’t believe Dash Rendar won this and poor Kayu surpasses The Ego’s record of failed Jabroni Escapes.

Scene: IGgy offers to let Kayu off the Jabroni hook but she refuses, stating that she’ll never give up.

#2 Singles Match
Hellranger Flamander vs. Lemuel Post

Flamander makes short work of Lemuel but keeps attacking him after the match.

#3 Singles Match
Fomore vs. IGgy IGsen

Surprising no one Fomore manages to defeat IGgy. But not without IGgy spectacularly whiffing a dive.

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Kelsey Slaughter vs. Mr. Shakedown ©

Despite the Barbed Wire set-up benefitting Kelsey Mr. Shakedown remains victorious and makes his first step towards surpassing his own record reign.

Scene: Angus McMutton steps in front of the promo wall at Gorilla and cuts a heartfelt promo lamenting his failure as a friend and announcing that he’ll henceforth be called “Anus McMutton”

#5 VACANT Open Challenge
Supreme Sadim vs. VACANT

Sadim gave it his hall but couldn’t down VACANT even once. While being knocked down three times for the TKO himself.

#6-8
Grace Thoruson (4) vs. King Skeleton (0) - Grace (6) defeats King Skeleton (0) leaving him with no points.
Harmony Gray (8) vs. HazMatt (4) - HazMatt (4) couldn’t do it, Harmony Gray (10) gets the clean sweep.
Boob Marley (4) vs. Hobo One Kevodki (4) - The No. 2 and No. 1 seed fight, and Boob (6) the No. 2 Seed emerges victorious against Hobo (4)

#9 Seven Deadly Pins
Palpatine vs. Pine Appel vs. Mina Park vs. Guzma vs. Josef Dub vs. Mimic vs. Great Maharaja vs. Nawt A Robutt ©

A match with a lot of chaos, as usual. In the final stretch it came down to Mina and Mimic. Eventually Mimic submits Mina, becoming Two-time 7DP champion.

Here we have the current Tournament Standings going into the finals for each block:

A-Block: Well, Harmony won with an impressive clean sweep… Boob takes second place, Grace comes in third followed by Hobo and Hazmatt, with King Skeleton far behind at zero points.

B-Block: Here we have an exciting situation. Malfest Goat-Monster, Cocademon and Ryu enter the final round tied with 6 points each. Everyone else is out. Weeb could get a tie-breaker over Cocademon but it doesn’t matter because Ryu and MGM have tiebreakers over them. Right now the situation in terms of tie breakers among the ones still in the race is as follows: Cocademon > Ryu > MGM > Cocademon. The thing is, in the final round all of them could end up with 8 points. Since our tie-breakers make for a nice circle this would mean we have a true tie and we need another match to decide who advances to the finals.

[IGgy]

OHPW - Week 30: B-Block Showdown

Time to get ready again for OHPW this Saturday.

Kayu refused to surrender yet another week going against supreme Showdown A-Block Loser, finishing with zero points: King Skeleton.
Former Hellweight Champion Suzan Blades makes her return as Newcomer Nero Sin has his first match in an OHPW ring in a four-way.
The Dashes are up to no good again and I guess so are Team Skull. Meanwhile, Mina gets a shot at Shakedown’s Bunny Title :3

And after our weekly VACANT Open Challenge, with A-Block wrapped up, it’s time for the B-Block Finals, only we’re headed into the Block Finals with a three-way tie and to make things worse they have tie-breakers as follows: Cocademon > Ryu > Malfest Goat-Monster > Cocademon. So if all three of those win their respective matches we’ll have a true tie and we’ll need an additional match to settle things.

And finally, in our main event Boob Marley will try to earn the Darkweight Title by going against Black

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. King Skeleton

#2 Four-Way (First Fall)
Suzan Blades vs. Great Maharaja vs. Nero Sin vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
he oRa 66

#3 Tag Team Match
The Dash Rendars vs. Team Skull

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Mina Park vs. Mr. Shakedown ©

#5 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#6-8 Showdown Tournament B-Block Finals
Cheese Pietzza (0) vs. Ryu (6)
N-T Punk (2) vs. Malfest Goat-Monster (6)
Weeb Weaver (4) vs. Cocademon (6)

#9 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Boob Marley vs. Black ©

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Kayu Zakisaka © vs. King Skeleton for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Suzan Blades vs. Great Maharaja vs. Nero Sin vs. DCB
#3 The Dash Rendars vs. Team Skull
#4 Mina Park vs. Mr. Shakedown © for the Bunny Title :3
#5 VACANT Open Challenge
#6 Cheese Pietzza (0) vs. Ryu (6) - SD-BFinal
#7 N-T Punk (2) vs. Malfest Goat-Monster (6) - SD-BFinal
#8 Weeb Weaver (4) vs. Cocademon (6) - SD-BFinal
#9 Boob Marley vs. Black © for the Darkweight Title

[IGgy]

Week 30: Squash??? - (Twitch VOD)

OHPW - Week 30: B-Block Showdown

Time to get ready again for OHPW this Saturday.

Kayu refused to surrender yet another week going against supreme Showdown A-Block Loser, finishing with zero points: King Skeleton.
Former Hellweight Champion Suzan Blades makes her return as Newcomer Nero Sin has his first match in an OHPW ring in a four-way.
The Dashes are up to no good again and I guess so are Team Skull. Meanwhile, Mina gets a shot at Shakedown’s Bunny Title :3

And after our weekly VACANT Open Challenge, with A-Block wrapped up, it’s time for the B-Block Finals, only we’re headed into the Block Finals with a three-way tie and to make things worse they have tie-breakers as follows: Cocademon > Ryu > Malfest Goat-Monster > Cocademon. So if all three of those win their respective matches we’ll have a true tie and we’ll need an additional match to settle things.

And finally, in our main event Boob Marley will try to earn the Darkweight Title by going against Black

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. King Skeleton

It’s a sad day once more. Kayu is defeated by the explosion, giving King Skeleton the win.

#2 Four-Way (First Fall)
Suzan Blades vs. Great Maharaja vs. Nero Sin vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
he oRa 66

All right, let’s start this up, Suzan Blade is back and… wait what? Newcomer Nero Sin has already submitted DCB??? Fuck.

#3 Tag Team Match
The Dash Rendars vs. Team Skull

Surprising nobody, a lot of groin-based offense in this one. Team Skull never held back and the Dashes use every dirty trick to win. And so they did. Again, a dark day…

Scene: Palpatine is interviewing Josef Dub for a potential oRa 66 membership. And since Josef is basically evil he gets the gig.

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Mina Park vs. Mr. Shakedown ©

Despite the entire oRa 66 accompanying her Mina cannot beat Shakedown. In fact the oRa 66 just stood there and watched as Mr. Shakedown did his running powerbomb.

#5 VACANT Open Challenge
Grace Thoruson vs. VACANT

Grace gave it a good shot. But at this point VACANT cannot be stopped anymore, apparently. Although, it was not a KO but a submission that did it.

Scene: Fomore and Canada discuss their Quadruple Crown contendership and decide they should just face each other instead of any of IGgy’s bullshit.

#6-8 Showdown Tournament B-Block Finals
Cheese Pietzza (0) vs. Ryu (6) - Ryu goes to 8 points… Cheese Pietzza is left with nothing.
N-T Punk (2) vs. Malfest Goat-Monster (6) - Punk must have watched the tapes and everything but he still lost (2) to Goat-Monster (8)
Weeb Weaver (4) vs. Cocademon (6) - Had Cocademon not won Goat would have won the block, but Coca (8) beats Weeb (4)

#9 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Boob Marley vs. Black ©

It’s a relatively even match until Black decides it’s over. He successfully defends the Darkweight.

Well the Winner of A-Block is without a question Harmony. She defeated all her opponents. But with B-Block, it’s not so simple. We went into the final Block Night with a three-way tie and left it with a three-way tie. So we need to settle that next week somehow so we can have two clear finalists. I didn’t expect this, but I probably should have.

[IGgy]

Week 31: Penultimate Showdown

We’ll go again, as usual, this Saturday!

The Block Phase of the Showdown Tournament is over we get a more normal sized card. Well, almost. Opposed to our normal 7 Match setup we got 8 this one time. Ego returns after a long excursion, Canada and Fomore have an actual No. 1 Contender Match for the Hellweight Title to earn their chance to become the first quadruple crown champion of OHPW. Ryu, Goat and Cocademon have their tie-breaker three-way and in our main event the oRa 66 challenge the School of Slam for the Legion Tag Titles!

And Next week, we’ll have the FINAL SHOWDOWN of the Tournament of the same name where whoever wins the tie-breaker this show will challenge Harmony, who went on a clean sweep thorugh A-Block

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Cheese Pietzza

#2 Four-Way (Elimination)
Maya Northwind vs. Anna May vs. Hellranger Flamander vs. Undeddie Guerrero

#3 Singles Match
EGO vs. Harley Havik

#4 Hellweight No. 1 Contender Match
Canada Alderman vs. Fomore

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Vacation Skeleton vs. Mr. Shakedown

#6 Three-Way Showdown (Elimination)
Ryu vs. Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Cocademon

#7 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#8 Legion Tag Championship
oRa 66 (Anus and Mina) vs. School of Slam

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Cheese Pietzza for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Maya Northwind vs. Anna May vs. Hellranger Flamander vs. Undeddie Guerrero
#3 EGO vs. Harley Havik
#4 Canada Alderman vs. Fomore
#5 Vacation Skeleton vs. Mr. Shakedown © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 Ryu vs. Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Cocademon - SD-B Tiebreaker
#7 VACANT Open Challenge
#8 oRa 66 vs. School of Slam © for the Legion Tag Titles

[IGgy]

Week 31: Penultimate Showdown - (Twitch VOD)

Week 31: Penultimate Showdown

We’ll go again, as usual, this Saturday!

The Block Phase of the Showdown Tournament is over we get a more normal sized card. Well, almost. Opposed to our normal 7 Match setup we got 8 this one time. Ego returns after a long excursion, Canada and Fomore have an actual No. 1 Contender Match for the Hellweight Title to earn their chance to become the first quadruple crown champion of OHPW. Ryu, Goat and Cocademon have their tie-breaker three-way and in our main event the oRa 66 challenge the School of Slam for the Legion Tag Titles!

And Next week, we’ll have the FINAL SHOWDOWN of the Tournament of the same name where whoever wins the tie-breaker this show will challenge Harmony, who went on a clean sweep thorugh A-Block

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Cheese Pietzza

This can’t be happening… Kayu loses yet again. She is submitted by Cheese Pietzza.

#2 Four-Way (Elimination)
Maya Northwind vs. Anna May vs. Hellranger Flamander vs. Undeddie Guerrero

Undeddie had to leave the match first, Maya followed soon after. And finally Anna May was hit by a third Snake for Flamander’s win.1

Scene: DCB challenges Nero Sin in her own special way. She is upset with his post-match comments after their match last week.

#3 Singles Match
EGO vs. Harley Havik

EGO is back, they got new moves and a new 'tude. The match is competitive for a while but EGO plays it smart and eventually finishes it with a Flying Headbutt he calls Super Ego Flying High. His other two new match enders are Egomania Running Wild and the Id-Factor.

#4 Hellweight No. 1 Contender Match
Canada Alderman vs. Fomore

Wow… what? To shoot a little, this time I didn’t even adjust their stats to make for a longer match, they just kinda did this on their own. OVER TWENTY SEVEN MINUTES UNTIL CANADA FINALLY WON THE MATCH! Earning herself not only No. 1 Contendership but she’s also the first one to have a shot

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Vacation Skeleton vs. Mr. Shakedown

Vacation Skeleton went on SPRING BREAK, WOOO! but Mr. Shakedown ended it with his running Powerbomb.

Scene: The Dashes do their typical spiel about challenging a tag team that is one person bigger than them. However, this time they claim there won’t be a fourth man.

#6 Three-Way Showdown (Elimination)
Ryu vs. Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Cocademon

Wow, this went fast. First Ryu knocks out Cocademon while he’s got MGM in a headlock. But not too long after MGM hits the MGM Outta Nowhere on Ryu for the win. Which means next week it’ll be Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Harmony Gray.

#7 VACANT Open Challenge
Plumeria vs. VACANT

No one believed Plumeria would last longer than five minutes. She managed to cross the 8 minute mark before getting knocked down a third time for the TKO. However, she’s not in the 10-Minute Club.

#8 Legion Tag Championship
oRa 66 (Anus and Mina) vs. School of Slam

The oRa are back with Anus’ first match since… well he became Anus. It was close fought. In the end the School of Slam were JUST too slow to break up the pin. The oRa 66 become two-time Legion Tag Champs.

[Deathmaster780]

Bear_Princess has gone Live on Periscope

Anna May: Ooowwie!

Anna May: Heya folks I’m back again. As you may have heard I had Four Way match recently. It was going great, like most Battle Royales I’ve been in I ended up lasting towards the end. But then I got pinned by that jerk Flamander. That part didn’t really bother me, you win some, you lose some. That’s how you get better in Animeland.

Anna May: No it’s what happened after the match that got to me. Because after he pinned me that jerk Flamander decided to just keep beating on me in jerkish rage. Security had to come in and drag him off of me. Apparently he didn’t like the fact that I scratched up his helmet during the match.

Anna May: And I’m making this video as a warning to Mr. Shakedown. Shakedown, you’re a jerk too but I’m going to give you this warning anyway. Shakedown, I’ve beaten you before and I know your tricks and now I’ve seen Flamanders tricks and let me tell you, you’ve got an up hill battle ahead of you. The Man’s a beast, a menace to society. He may be even more devious than that crazy arsonist Mina Park and more vicious then that Capitalist Malfest Goat-Monster.

Anna May: So you’ve got to be prepared and do your cardio or he’ll outrun you and squash you like a bug. Believe me, because if I could beat you then so can he!

Anna May: And Flamander, you may have beaten me this time but I won’t stay down, I’ll see you again someday and beat you for sure. BECAUSE THAT’S THE KIND OF ANIME I AM!!!

Bear_Princess has gone Offline

[IGgy]

Week 32: ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN
The show will be one hour earlier than usual to not interfere with AEW’s ALL OUT.

It’s time for the ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN.

Can Kayu finally overcome the curse of the Jabroni Royale? Who will commit the seven deadly pins? Is DCBs Coffee just a euphemism for attempting a beating on a much bigger opponent? Just how stupid are The Dash Rendars? We shall see.

Flamander will fight Shakedown for the Bunny Title, Cocademon gets a shot at the Darkweight due to his performance in the Showdown Tournament. 1/2 Dragons challenge the newly crowned oRa 66 for the Legion Tag Titles due to Roy’s singles performance lately and Ryu’s performance in the Showdown Tournament. Of Course, VACANT’s Open Challenge still stands and the namesake of the show the Finals of the Showdown Tournament will take place. The Undefeated Harmony Gray goes against Malfest Goat-Monster. But of course, the Main Event is the big one, the Infernal Hellweight Championship. Over the last weeks Canada has earned her right to challenge Pantha not only for a chance to become the third Hellweight champion but also to become the first Quadruple Crown champion having held the Seven Deadly Pins, the Bunny Title :3, the Darkweight Title and the Hellweight Title.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Undeddie Guerrero

#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Apollo vs. Zoltan vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. Kelsey Slaughter vs. Jan Itor vs. Doctor Mutant vs. Rick Wreckage vs. A Mimic ©

#3 Singles Match
DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Nero Sin

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Hellranger Flamander vs. Mr. Shakedown ©

#5 Tag Team Match
The Dash Rendars vs. Team Skull

#6 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Cocademon vs. Black ©

#7 Legion Tag Championships
1 1/2 Dragons vs. oRa 66 ©

#8 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#9 Showdown Tournament Finals
Harmony Gray vs. Malfest Goat-Monster

#10 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Canada Alderman vs. Pantha ©

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Undeddie Guerrero for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal feat. A Mimic ©
#3 DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Nero Sin
#4 Hellranger Flamander vs. Mr. Shakedown © for the Bunny Title :3
#5 The Dash Rendars vs. Team Skull
#6 Cocademon vs. Black © for the Darkweight Title
#7 1 1/2 Dragons vs. oRa 66 © for the Legion Tag Titles
#8 VACANT Open Challenge
#9 Harmony Gray vs. Malfest Goat-Monster - Showdown Final
#10 Canada Alderman vs. Pantha © for the Hellweight Title

[IGgy]

Week 32: ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN - (Twitch VOD)

Week 32: ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN
The show will be one hour earlier than usual to not interfere with AEW’s ALL OUT.

It’s time for the ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN.

Can Kayu finally overcome the curse of the Jabroni Royale? Who will commit the seven deadly pins? Is DCBs Coffee just a euphemism for attempting a beating on a much bigger opponent? Just how stupid are The Dash Rendars? We shall see.

Flamander will fight Shakedown for the Bunny Title, Cocademon gets a shot at the Darkweight due to his performance in the Showdown Tournament. 1/2 Dragons challenge the newly crowned oRa 66 for the Legion Tag Titles due to Roy’s singles performance lately and Ryu’s performance in the Showdown Tournament. Of Course, VACANT’s Open Challenge still stands and the namesake of the show the Finals of the Showdown Tournament will take place. The Undefeated Harmony Gray goes against Malfest Goat-Monster. But of course, the Main Event is the big one, the Infernal Hellweight Championship. Over the last weeks Canada has earned her right to challenge Pantha not only for a chance to become the third Hellweight champion but also to become the first Quadruple Crown champion having held the Seven Deadly Pins, the Bunny Title :3, the Darkweight Title and the Hellweight Title.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Undeddie Guerrero

Boooo. Undeddie wins.

#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Apollo vs. Zoltan vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. Kelsey Slaughter vs. Jan Itor vs. Doctor Mutant vs. Rick Wreckage vs. A Mimic ©

The first person, Rick, was eliminated before the final entrant even came in. So the pure clusterfuck stage of the match was skipped. Kelsey stayed in till the end becoming the second two-time Seven Deadly Pins champion.

#3 Singles Match
DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Nero Sin

It lasted longer than 2 minutes. And DCB actually pulled through, pinning Nero with a Reincarnation.

Scene: A new guy, Family Man, is hanging out backstage, checking out the building as a FOURTH FUCKING DASH enters, and is a dick. It’s Ledasha Rendar and, well. She’s like the other Dashes.

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Hellranger Flamander vs. Mr. Shakedown ©

Flamander dominates the early match with Shakedown mounting a big comeback near the end only for that to be squashed. Flamander is the new Bunny Champion :3

#5 Tag Team Match
The Dash Rendars vs. Team Skull

I hated every second of this that had the Dashes get in offense. To make things worse they won.

Scene: Palpy just shows up and pretends he’s not an idiot but it’s obvious that he’s an idiot. He challenges Freddie Hope to another allegedly fair and square match. Freddie comes out and tells Palpy he’s full of shit but he accepts the challenge.

#6 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Cocademon vs. Black ©

Black destroys Cocademon in under 10 minutes.

#7 Legion Tag Championships
1 1/2 Dragons vs. oRa 66 ©

It seemed to be your normal every day match until Ryu struck again. Literally. To the back of Mina’s head, knocking her out.

#8 VACANT Open Challenge
Freddie Hope vs. VACANT

FREDDIE ACTUALLY KNOCKED DOWN VACANT once… Freddie loses by TKO. But he lasted longer than ten minutes.

#9 Showdown Tournament Finals
Harmony Gray vs. Malfest Goat-Monster

They actually went all out. This is the longest match in the Dodecagon we ever had. But MGM can beat the so far undefeated Harmony.

#10 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Canada Alderman vs. Pantha ©

There weren’t any nearfalls in this match. Even though it almost lasted 30 minutes. The most we got was a 2-count until Pantha locked in the Pantha Claw.

[IGgy]

Week 33: Fair and Square

The Showdown Tournament is over now, Malfest Goat-Monster has taken the win. Our shows can now have the tried and tested seven matches again.
I say this every time, but Kayu could indeed finally get rid of the Jabroni this time. A newcomer, Midas, will go against five others, including Suzan Blades and Manic Misanthrope. Last week Palpy challenged Freddie to a fair-and-square match, though, we don’t really believe him that it’ll be fair. It’s been a while since we’ve seen either Lawful Good or Pineapple Pizza, so they will face-off this week. And finally, Grace, along with Showdown runner-up Harmony will go against the 1 1/2 Dragons for the Legion Tag Titles.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Rick Wreckage

#2 Six-Way Elimination
Midas Minoson vs. George Cluwney vs. Super Samio vs. Manic Misanthrope vs. Josef Dub vs. Suzan Blades

#3 Singles Match
Palpatine vs. Freddie Hope

#4 Tag Team Match
Lawful Good vs. Pineapple Pizza

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Apollo vs. Hellranger Flamander ©

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#7 Legion Tag Championships
Harmony and Grace vs. 1 1/2 Dragons ©

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Kayu Zakisaka vs. Rick Wreckage for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Midas Minoson vs. Cluwney vs. Samio vs. Manic vs. Josef vs. Suzan
#3 Palpatine vs. Freddie Hope
#4 Lawful Good vs. Pineapple Pizza
#5 Apollo vs. Hellranger Flamander © for the Bunny Title
#6 VACANT Open Challenge
#7 Harmony & Grace vs. 1 1/2 Dragons © for the Legion Tag Titles

[IGgy]

Week 33: Fair and Square - (Twitch VOD)

What a weird episode this was.
Something unexpected, planned or not (mostly not) happened in basically every match. There were upsets… one match went obscenely long (on that note: our previous longest match with over 45 minutes is no longer our longest match) and an old rivalry heats up in the way you’d least expect…

Week 33: Fair and Square

The Showdown Tournament is over now, Malfest Goat-Monster has taken the win. Our shows can now have the tried and tested seven matches again.
I say this every time, but Kayu could indeed finally get rid of the Jabroni this time. A newcomer, Midas, will go against five others, including Suzan Blades and Manic Misanthrope. Last week Palpy challenged Freddie to a fair-and-square match, though, we don’t really believe him that it’ll be fair. It’s been a while since we’ve seen either Lawful Good or Pineapple Pizza, so they will face-off this week. And finally, Grace, along with Showdown runner-up Harmony will go against the 1 1/2 Dragons for the Legion Tag Titles.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Rick Wreckage

Would you believe it? Kayu beats Rick in just over 10 minutes. Now Rick as the dubious honor of having lost to a neck crank AND being beaten by the longest reigning Jabroni Royale.

#2 Six-Way Elimination
Midas Minoson vs. George Cluwney vs. Super Samio vs. Manic Misanthrope vs. Josef Dub vs. Suzan Blades

Fairly standard Battle Royal. UNTIL IT FUCKING WOULDN’T END! I forget who it was but some sorry fool used the Fight Forever chant early in the match and they got exactly what they wanted. This match lasted overa freaking hour! The final three (Midas, Samio and Suzan) were in the match for a long-ass time, which doesn’t mean the match wasn’t longer than our previous longest before we got that far. Anyway, Suzan won in the end, releasing us from this torment.

#3 Singles Match
Palpatine vs. Freddie Hope

Oooh, Palpy using his big match gear. Showing off his hot bod. He must be determined to defeat Freddie here. Too bad that Freddie dominated the entire match… until Flamander interfered in the match. He didn’t do much, but attacked Freddie a bit, Freddie, of course, focused all his attention on Flamander and almost got counted out as a result. Then Flamander left and shortly after Palpatine also left… technically giving Freddie the win by forfeit but I’m ruling this as a No Contest.

Scene: Palpy is in front of the promo wall trying and failing to not sound like a complete idiot. Then Freddie shows up and interrogates Palpy on the interference that happened. After a bit of a back and forth Palpy finally admits that the original plan was for the oRa to interfere instead but Flamander went into their locker room during the long-ass match and forced them to do what happened instead. Freddie shoos Palpy away and in the following promo challenges Flamander to a match in an as of yet unspecified time and location.

#4 Tag Team Match
Lawful Good vs. Pineapple Pizza

Lawful Good kind of had a lackluster run so far. Makes sense, seeing as they are basically cops and the police will never defeat Pizza. Well, turns out they did exactly that, though…

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Apollo vs. Hellranger Flamander ©

Apollo really showed what he was made of during this match but once Flamander actually started fighting Apollo’s offense subsided until he was down for the 3-Count.

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
Malfest Goat-Monster vs. VACANT

Goat-Monster hits the MGM Outta Nowhere… VACANT is dow for the count but gets up at 6. A second MGM Outta Nowhere! VACANT gets up at 9. A THIRD MGM OUTTA NOWHERE! It’s a TKO. What the fuck?

#7 Legion Tag Championships
Harmony and Grace vs. 1 1/2 Dragons ©

This was a real good match with a finish that actually made sense. Harmony threw out Ryu and hit the Saving Grace on Roy for the pin. Harmony and Grace are the new Legion Tag Champs!

All right… uh… since this episode had our new longest match let’s contrast this episode with the one that has our second-longest match. This happens to be the first episode.

This is just some basic stats, really. Such as Number of matches, Scenes, Wrestlers booked in matches and so on but since I compiled it I might as well show it.

Between those two episodes, we had 268 matches. Out of those only 9 were longer than 30 minutes in game-time while 31 were nine minutes or shorter. Only one of those was less than five minutes. The average time across all matches was 15:46 (14:15 for singles matches)
Including those two episodes, the average match time for all matches goes up to 16:04 (while the average time for singles matches goes down to 14:10)

[IGgy]

OHPW - Week 34: Hungry Devil
OHPW streams again this saturday at the usual time.

Last week’s show was full of weirdness. Among other things, VACANT was defeated by Malfest Goat-Monster. Much like the other time VACANT has been defeated they will take a week off after a 21 match long undefeated streak. You could say that Malfest Goat-Monster is the 1 in 21-1. Though if we include all the matches before that it’s more like 26-2.

Of course, that’s still impressive.

Anyway. Next show will begin with Rick Wreckage trying to rid himself of the Jabroni Royale he acquired from Kayu Zakisaka last week. Family man will wrestle his first match against Midas. Following up on on a random remark last week Manic will team with IGgy to see if he is any good at tag matches. In our two title matches, we’ll have Samio challenge Flamander for the Bunny Title :3 and Sadim going up against Black for the Darkweight belt. The full match card is below:

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Rick Wreckage © vs. N-T Punk

#2 Singles Match
Family Man vs. Midas Minoson

#3 Tag Team Match
Manic and IGgy vs. Wizards Not Allowed

#4 Three-Way One-Fall
Hobo One Kevodki vs. Weeb Weaver vs. EGO

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Super Samio vs. Hellranger Flamander ©

#6 Singles Match
Fomore vs. Harley Havik

#7 Darkweight Championship
Supreme Sadim vs. Black ©

[IGgy]

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Rick Wreckage © vs. N-T Punk for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Family Man vs. Midas Minoson
#3 Manic & IGgy vs. Wizards Not Allowed
#4 Hobo One Kevodki vs. Weeb Weaver vs. EGO
#5 Super Samio vs. Hellranger Flamander © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 Fomore vs. Harley Havik
#7 Supreme Sadim vs. Black © for the Darkweight Title

[IGgy]

Week 34 - Hungry Devils - (Twitch VOD)

OHPW - Week 34: Hungry Devil
OHPW streams again this saturday at the usual time.

Last week’s show was full of weirdness. Among other things, VACANT was defeated by Malfest Goat-Monster. Much like the other time VACANT has been defeated they will take a week off after a 21 match long undefeated streak. You could say that Malfest Goat-Monster is the 1 in 21-1. Though if we include all the matches before that it’s more like 26-2.

Of course, that’s still impressive.

Anyway. Next show will begin with Rick Wreckage trying to rid himself of the Jabroni Royale he acquired from Kayu Zakisaka last week. Family man will wrestle his first match against Midas. Following up on on a random remark last week Manic will team with IGgy to see if he is any good at tag matches. In our two title matches, we’ll have Samio challenge Flamander for the Bunny Title :3 and Sadim going up against Black for the Darkweight belt. The full match card is below:

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Rick Wreckage © vs. N-T Punk

We’ve almost reached the Explosion but with just a little time to spare Rick defeats Punk with the Car Crash Powerbomb.

#2 Singles Match
Family Man vs. Midas Minoson

Family Man tried his best! But Midas is big, beefy and rude, which earns him the win.

Scene: Canada and Fomore run into each other and talk for a bit. It turns out that Fomore hasn’t given up on the Quadruple Crown yet ans is still out to prove themselves.

#3 Tag Team Match
Manic and IGgy vs. Wizards Not Allowed

Of course, the good team won. Yes, the one with me in it. Manic got the fall, though. Gotta put other people over sometimes, brother!

#4 Three-Way One-Fall
Hobo One Kevodki vs. Weeb Weaver vs. EGO

EGO stole Weeb’s Spider Stretch to submit them. Maximum disrespect.

Scene: Before the match Flamander goew over what Freddie said last week and sets the terms for their match. It will be in six weeks. Meanwhile, Samio just stands there and is ignored no matter what she says.

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Super Samio vs. Hellranger Flamander ©

Flamander pins Samio after hitting The Snake

#6 Singles Match
Fomore vs. Harley Havik

As Fomore promised, they proved themselves against Harley, but she sure made Fomore fight for it.

#7 Darkweight Championship
Supreme Sadim vs. Black ©

A short but intense match that ended in Sadim finally winning a match using 1001 Arabian Nights rather than the Camel Clutch.

[IGgy]

Week 35: Pre-DETERMINATION

We are one week removed from DETERMINATION so let’s get ready for that with, you guessed it, more wrestling.
Punk has finally earned the Jabroni Royale, but can he get rid of it again? Or will Weeb destroy him.
It pains me greatly but The Dash Rendars are in the No. 1 Contenders match for the Tag titles. Muscle Wizard is here to try and win the Bunny Title :3 for a second time, but Flamander is the one in his way so good luck, pal!
VACANT is back and ready to destroy while in our main event Kelsey will attempt to defend the Seven Deadly Pins Title against seven challengers.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
N-T Punk © vs. Weeb Weaver

#2 Three-Way First Fall
Vacation Skeleton vs. Anna May vs. Maya Northwind

#3 Singles Match
Nero Sin vs. King Skeleton

#4 Legion Tag No. 1 Contender Match
The Dash Rendars vs. Lawful Good

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Muscle Wizard vs. Hellranger Flamander ©

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#7 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Nawt a Robutt vs. Haz Matt vs. Great Maharaja vs. Boob Marley vs. Kayu Zakisaka vs. Plumeria vs. Ryu vs. Kelsey Slaughter ©