OHPW - Business May Die [Fire Pro Wrestling World]

Week 28: LEST JIMMY STANDIN

It’s time for LEST JIMMY STANDIN our 7th special event this Saturday at the usual time!

We’ll conclude round 4 of the Showdown Tournament and defend all the titles. Additionally Angus has challenged VACANT to a Lest Jimmy Standin match???
Will Kayu finally rid herself of the Jabroni Royale? If she loses this time she’ll tie Ego’s reign. All three Dash Rendars will be in matches. IGgy probably didn’t forget to book matches for Canada and Fomore but Canada is first against Vacation Skeleton. Mr. Shakedown is trying to take down Roy, who is threatening to surpass his reign with the Bunny title. Black barely didn’t win the No. 1 Conteder match for the Hellweight Title last week but as a consolation prize gets to challenge Freddie Hope for the Darkweight: The Title he previously narrowly failed to capture against the now-Hellweight Champion Pantha. Who will defend her title against Manic Misanthrope.

That’ll be fun for sure! Below is the match card:

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Inspector Jane

#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Team Skull Grunt Blue vs. Team Skull Grunt Pink vs. Undeddie Guerrero vs. Nawt A Robutt vs. Super Samio vs. Kelsey vs. Anna May vs. Dash Rendar ©

#3 Landmine Deathmatch
The Dash Rendars vs. Fallout Boys

#4 Singles Match
Canada Alderman vs. Vacation Skeleton

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Mr. Shakedown vs. Roy ©

#6 Legion Tag Championships
Wizards Not Allowed vs. School of Slam ©

#7 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Black vs. Freddie Hope ©

#8-10 Showdown Tournament Round B4
N-T Punk (0) vs. Cheese Pietzza (0)
Weeb Weaver (4) vs. Malfest Goat-Monster (4)
Ryu (4) vs. Cocademon (6)

#11 VACANT Open Challenge - “Lest Jimmy Standin” Match
Angus McMutton vs. VACANT

#12 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Manic Misanthrope vs. Pantha ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Inspector Jane for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Seven Deadly Pins feat. Dash Rendar ©
#3 The Dash Rendars vs. Fallout Boys
#4 Canada Alderman vs. Vacation Skeleton
#5 Mr. Shakedown vs. Roy © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 Wizards Not Allowed vs. School of Slam © for the Legion Tag Titles
#7 Black vs. Freddie Hope © for the Darkweight Title
#8 N-T Punk (0) vs. Cheese Pietzza (0) SD-B4
#9 Weeb Weaver (4) vs. Malfest Goat-Monster (4) SD-B4
#10 Ryu (4) vs. Cocademon (6) SD-B4
#11 Angus McMutton vs. VACANT in a Lest Jimmy Standin Match???
#12 Manic Misanthrope vs. Pantha © for the Hellweight Title

Week 28: LEST JIMMY STANDIN - (Twitch VOD)


And here’s our tournament bracket going into the final rounds.
A-Block: Harmony already won this. The last round will still take place but for Harmony this is essentially about getting a perfect run. For everybody else it’s about getting second place, or at least not getting last place.

B-Block: Here we have a more exciting situation. Malfest Goat-Monster, Cocademon and Ryu enter the final round tied with 6 points each. Everyone else is out. Weeb could get a tie-breaker over Cocademon but it doesn’t matter because Ryu and MGM have tiebreakers over them. Right now the situation in terms of tie breakers among the ones still in the race is as follows: Cocademon > Ryu > MGM > Cocademon. The thing is, in the final round all of them could end up with 8 points. Since our tie-breakers make for a nice circle this would mean we have a true tie and we need another match to decide who advances to the finals.

Week 29: Showdown A-Block Finals

This weekend OHPW will have a very singles-heavy episode. I don’t think we ever had one where every match (except for the main event) was a singles match. Kayu gets a chance to become the hero that forces the Jabroni Royale onto Dash. Flamander makes his return after 11 weeks of abscence and is looking to clip Lemuel’s wings. Fomore gets their requedted match against IGgy, somehow. Must have accidentally booked that. Having recently become the first two-time Bunny Champion :3 Mr. Shakedown face Kelsey has his first challenger. Can he top his former reign?

For our tournament action we’ll have the Block Finals of A-Block. Harmony has already mathematically won the block but this is about her getting a perfect score. For everyone else it’s about following as closely as possible. Well, for King Skelly it’s about getting points at all. Compare this to our B-Block action for next week, where we have a three-way tie going into the Block Finals.

And Finally, in our main event, we’ll have the Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal in which reigning 7DP champ Nawt A Robutt has to defend the title against seven others.

Below is the full card.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Dash Rendar

#2 Singles Match
Hellranger Flamander vs. Lemuel Post

#3 Singles Match
Fomore vs. IGgy IGsen

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Kelsey Slaughter vs. Mr. Shakedown (c9)

#5 VACANT Open Challenge
Someone vs. VACANT

#6-8
Grace Thoruson (4) vs. King Skeleton (0)
Harmony Gray (8) vs. HazMatt (4)
Boob Marley (4) vs. Hobo One Kevodki (4)

#9 Seven Deadly Pins
Palpatine vs. Pine Appel vs. Mina Park vs. Guzma vs. Josef Dub vs. Mimic vs. Great Maharaja vs. Nawt A Robutt ©

Here we have the current Tournament Standings going into the finals for each block:


A-Block: Harmony already won this. The last round will still take place but for Harmony this is essentially about getting a perfect run. For everybody else it’s about getting second place, or at least not getting last place.

B-Block: Here we have a more exciting situation. Malfest Goat-Monster, Cocademon and Ryu enter the final round tied with 6 points each. Everyone else is out. Weeb could get a tie-breaker over Cocademon but it doesn’t matter because Ryu and MGM have tiebreakers over them. Right now the situation in terms of tie breakers among the ones still in the race is as follows: Cocademon > Ryu > MGM > Cocademon. The thing is, in the final round all of them could end up with 8 points. Since our tie-breakers make for a nice circle this would mean we have a true tie and we need another match to decide who advances to the finals.

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Dash Rendar for the Jabronin Royale
#2 Hellranger Flamander vs. Lemuel Post
#3 Fomore vs. IGgy IGsen
#4 Kelsey Slaughter vs. Mr. Shakedown © for the Bunny Title :3
#5 VACANT Open Challenge
#6 Grace Thoruson (4) vs. King Skeleton (0) SD-AFinal
#7 Harmony Gray (8) vs. HazMatt (4) SD-AFinal
#8 Boob Marley (4) vs. Hobo One Kevodki (4) SD-AFinal
#9 Seven Deadly Pins feat. Nawt A Robutt ©

Week 29: The Letter G - (Twitch VOD)

OHPW - Week 30: B-Block Showdown

Time to get ready again for OHPW this Saturday.

Kayu refused to surrender yet another week going against supreme Showdown A-Block Loser, finishing with zero points: King Skeleton.
Former Hellweight Champion Suzan Blades makes her return as Newcomer Nero Sin has his first match in an OHPW ring in a four-way.
The Dashes are up to no good again and I guess so are Team Skull. Meanwhile, Mina gets a shot at Shakedown’s Bunny Title :3

And after our weekly VACANT Open Challenge, with A-Block wrapped up, it’s time for the B-Block Finals, only we’re headed into the Block Finals with a three-way tie and to make things worse they have tie-breakers as follows: Cocademon > Ryu > Malfest Goat-Monster > Cocademon. So if all three of those win their respective matches we’ll have a true tie and we’ll need an additional match to settle things.

And finally, in our main event Boob Marley will try to earn the Darkweight Title by going against Black

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. King Skeleton

#2 Four-Way (First Fall)
Suzan Blades vs. Great Maharaja vs. Nero Sin vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
he oRa 66

#3 Tag Team Match
The Dash Rendars vs. Team Skull

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Mina Park vs. Mr. Shakedown ©

#5 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#6-8 Showdown Tournament B-Block Finals
Cheese Pietzza (0) vs. Ryu (6)
N-T Punk (2) vs. Malfest Goat-Monster (6)
Weeb Weaver (4) vs. Cocademon (6)

#9 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Boob Marley vs. Black ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Kayu Zakisaka © vs. King Skeleton for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Suzan Blades vs. Great Maharaja vs. Nero Sin vs. DCB
#3 The Dash Rendars vs. Team Skull
#4 Mina Park vs. Mr. Shakedown © for the Bunny Title :3
#5 VACANT Open Challenge
#6 Cheese Pietzza (0) vs. Ryu (6) - SD-BFinal
#7 N-T Punk (2) vs. Malfest Goat-Monster (6) - SD-BFinal
#8 Weeb Weaver (4) vs. Cocademon (6) - SD-BFinal
#9 Boob Marley vs. Black © for the Darkweight Title

Week 30: Squash??? - (Twitch VOD)


Well the Winner of A-Block is without a question Harmony. She defeated all her opponents. But with B-Block, it’s not so simple. We went into the final Block Night with a three-way tie and left it with a three-way tie. So we need to settle that next week somehow so we can have two clear finalists. I didn’t expect this, but I probably should have.

Week 31: Penultimate Showdown

We’ll go again, as usual, this Saturday!

The Block Phase of the Showdown Tournament is over we get a more normal sized card. Well, almost. Opposed to our normal 7 Match setup we got 8 this one time. Ego returns after a long excursion, Canada and Fomore have an actual No. 1 Contender Match for the Hellweight Title to earn their chance to become the first quadruple crown champion of OHPW. Ryu, Goat and Cocademon have their tie-breaker three-way and in our main event the oRa 66 challenge the School of Slam for the Legion Tag Titles!

And Next week, we’ll have the FINAL SHOWDOWN of the Tournament of the same name where whoever wins the tie-breaker this show will challenge Harmony, who went on a clean sweep thorugh A-Block

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Cheese Pietzza

#2 Four-Way (Elimination)
Maya Northwind vs. Anna May vs. Hellranger Flamander vs. Undeddie Guerrero

#3 Singles Match
EGO vs. Harley Havik

#4 Hellweight No. 1 Contender Match
Canada Alderman vs. Fomore

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Vacation Skeleton vs. Mr. Shakedown

#6 Three-Way Showdown (Elimination)
Ryu vs. Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Cocademon

#7 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#8 Legion Tag Championship
oRa 66 (Anus and Mina) vs. School of Slam

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Cheese Pietzza for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Maya Northwind vs. Anna May vs. Hellranger Flamander vs. Undeddie Guerrero
#3 EGO vs. Harley Havik
#4 Canada Alderman vs. Fomore
#5 Vacation Skeleton vs. Mr. Shakedown © for the Bunny Title :3
#6 Ryu vs. Malfest Goat-Monster vs. Cocademon - SD-B Tiebreaker
#7 VACANT Open Challenge
#8 oRa 66 vs. School of Slam © for the Legion Tag Titles

Week 31: Penultimate Showdown - (Twitch VOD)

Bear_Princess has gone Live on Periscope

Anna%20May%204 Anna May: Ooowwie!

Anna%20May%202 Anna May: Heya folks I’m back again. As you may have heard I had Four Way match recently. It was going great, like most Battle Royales I’ve been in I ended up lasting towards the end. But then I got pinned by that jerk Flamander. That part didn’t really bother me, you win some, you lose some. That’s how you get better in Animeland.

Anna%20May%203 Anna May: No it’s what happened after the match that got to me. Because after he pinned me that jerk Flamander decided to just keep beating on me in jerkish rage. Security had to come in and drag him off of me. Apparently he didn’t like the fact that I scratched up his helmet during the match.

Anna%20May%203 Anna May: And I’m making this video as a warning to Mr. Shakedown. Shakedown, you’re a jerk too but I’m going to give you this warning anyway. Shakedown, I’ve beaten you before and I know your tricks and now I’ve seen Flamanders tricks and let me tell you, you’ve got an up hill battle ahead of you. The Man’s a beast, a menace to society. He may be even more devious than that crazy arsonist Mina Park and more vicious then that Capitalist Malfest Goat-Monster.

Anna%20May%201 Anna May: So you’ve got to be prepared and do your cardio or he’ll outrun you and squash you like a bug. Believe me, because if I could beat you then so can he!

Anna%20May%202 Anna May: And Flamander, you may have beaten me this time but I won’t stay down, I’ll see you again someday and beat you for sure. BECAUSE THAT’S THE KIND OF ANIME I AM!!!

Bear_Princess has gone Offline

Week 32: ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN
:siren: The show will be one hour earlier than usual to not interfere with AEW’s ALL OUT. :siren:

It’s time for the ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN.

Can Kayu finally overcome the curse of the Jabroni Royale? Who will commit the seven deadly pins? Is DCBs Coffee just a euphemism for attempting a beating on a much bigger opponent? Just how stupid are The Dash Rendars? We shall see.

Flamander will fight Shakedown for the Bunny Title, Cocademon gets a shot at the Darkweight due to his performance in the Showdown Tournament. 1/2 Dragons challenge the newly crowned oRa 66 for the Legion Tag Titles due to Roy’s singles performance lately and Ryu’s performance in the Showdown Tournament. Of Course, VACANT’s Open Challenge still stands and the namesake of the show the Finals of the Showdown Tournament will take place. The Undefeated Harmony Gray goes against Malfest Goat-Monster. But of course, the Main Event is the big one, the Infernal Hellweight Championship. Over the last weeks Canada has earned her right to challenge Pantha not only for a chance to become the third Hellweight champion but also to become the first Quadruple Crown champion having held the Seven Deadly Pins, the Bunny Title :3, the Darkweight Title and the Hellweight Title.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Undeddie Guerrero

#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal
Apollo vs. Zoltan vs. Hobo One Kevodki vs. Kelsey Slaughter vs. Jan Itor vs. Doctor Mutant vs. Rick Wreckage vs. A Mimic ©

#3 Singles Match
DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Nero Sin

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Hellranger Flamander vs. Mr. Shakedown ©

#5 Tag Team Match
The Dash Rendars vs. Team Skull

#6 Underworld Darkweight Championship
Cocademon vs. Black ©

#7 Legion Tag Championships
1 1/2 Dragons vs. oRa 66 ©

#8 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#9 Showdown Tournament Finals
Harmony Gray vs. Malfest Goat-Monster

#10 Infernal Hellweight Championship
Canada Alderman vs. Pantha ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Undeddie Guerrero for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Seven Deadly Pins Battle Royal feat. A Mimic ©
#3 DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Nero Sin
#4 Hellranger Flamander vs. Mr. Shakedown © for the Bunny Title :3
#5 The Dash Rendars vs. Team Skull
#6 Cocademon vs. Black © for the Darkweight Title
#7 1 1/2 Dragons vs. oRa 66 © for the Legion Tag Titles
#8 VACANT Open Challenge
#9 Harmony Gray vs. Malfest Goat-Monster - Showdown Final
#10 Canada Alderman vs. Pantha © for the Hellweight Title

Week 32: ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN - (Twitch VOD)

Week 33: Fair and Square

The Showdown Tournament is over now, Malfest Goat-Monster has taken the win. Our shows can now have the tried and tested seven matches again.
I say this every time, but Kayu could indeed finally get rid of the Jabroni this time. A newcomer, Midas, will go against five others, including Suzan Blades and Manic Misanthrope. Last week Palpy challenged Freddie to a fair-and-square match, though, we don’t really believe him that it’ll be fair. It’s been a while since we’ve seen either Lawful Good or Pineapple Pizza, so they will face-off this week. And finally, Grace, along with Showdown runner-up Harmony will go against the 1 1/2 Dragons for the Legion Tag Titles.

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Kayu Zakisaka © vs. Rick Wreckage

#2 Six-Way Elimination
Midas Minoson vs. George Cluwney vs. Super Samio vs. Manic Misanthrope vs. Josef Dub vs. Suzan Blades

#3 Singles Match
Palpatine vs. Freddie Hope

#4 Tag Team Match
Lawful Good vs. Pineapple Pizza

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Apollo vs. Hellranger Flamander ©

#6 VACANT Open Challenge
TBD vs. VACANT

#7 Legion Tag Championships
Harmony and Grace vs. 1 1/2 Dragons ©

Going live now and starting in 15 minutes https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Here’s the match card again:
#1 Kayu Zakisaka vs. Rick Wreckage for the Jabroni Royale
#2 Midas Minoson vs. Cluwney vs. Samio vs. Manic vs. Josef vs. Suzan
#3 Palpatine vs. Freddie Hope
#4 Lawful Good vs. Pineapple Pizza
#5 Apollo vs. Hellranger Flamander © for the Bunny Title
#6 VACANT Open Challenge
#7 Harmony & Grace vs. 1 1/2 Dragons © for the Legion Tag Titles

Week 33: Fair and Square - (Twitch VOD)

What a weird episode this was.
Something unexpected, planned or not (mostly not) happened in basically every match. There were upsets… one match went obscenely long (on that note: our previous longest match with over 45 minutes is no longer our longest match) and an old rivalry heats up in the way you’d least expect…

All right… uh… since this episode had our new longest match let’s contrast this episode with the one that has our second-longest match. This happens to be the first episode.


This is just some basic stats, really. Such as Number of matches, Scenes, Wrestlers booked in matches and so on but since I compiled it I might as well show it.

Between those two episodes, we had 268 matches. Out of those only 9 were longer than 30 minutes in game-time while 31 were nine minutes or shorter. Only one of those was less than five minutes. The average time across all matches was 15:46 (14:15 for singles matches)
Including those two episodes, the average match time for all matches goes up to 16:04 (while the average time for singles matches goes down to 14:10)

OHPW - Week 34: Hungry Devil
OHPW streams again this saturday at the usual time.

Last week’s show was full of weirdness. Among other things, VACANT was defeated by Malfest Goat-Monster. Much like the other time VACANT has been defeated they will take a week off after a 21 match long undefeated streak. You could say that Malfest Goat-Monster is the 1 in 21-1. Though if we include all the matches before that it’s more like 26-2.


Of course, that’s still impressive.

Anyway. Next show will begin with Rick Wreckage trying to rid himself of the Jabroni Royale he acquired from Kayu Zakisaka last week. Family man will wrestle his first match against Midas. Following up on on a random remark last week Manic will team with IGgy to see if he is any good at tag matches. In our two title matches, we’ll have Samio challenge Flamander for the Bunny Title :3 and Sadim going up against Black for the Darkweight belt. The full match card is below:

#1 Jabroni Royale Deathmatch
Rick Wreckage © vs. N-T Punk

#2 Singles Match
Family Man vs. Midas Minoson

#3 Tag Team Match
Manic and IGgy vs. Wizards Not Allowed

#4 Three-Way One-Fall
Hobo One Kevodki vs. Weeb Weaver vs. EGO

#5 Bunny Championship :3
Super Samio vs. Hellranger Flamander ©

#6 Singles Match
Fomore vs. Harley Havik

#7 Darkweight Championship
Supreme Sadim vs. Black ©