well i wasn’t lying I WAS the table
LPFWA 2k18 Episode #28 - Beach Party
Lousy PlayStation Ffffffffffffailure, Wrestling Aborted (nine-gear crow)
divinecoffeebinge: Lacking Pants, Fracturing Wood. Angus!
ZephyrWhisper: Local Performer Fighting With Asslesschaps
divinecoffeebinge: Languidly Punishing Freaky Wiseau’s Ass
divinecoffeebinge: Lady Performer Foreplay is Weirdly Arousing
By this point you all know the deal:
Next show will be Saturday, 23:00 GMT+2 Click link to have that converted into your local timezone.
And of course, let’s vote on who gets to face Shane O Mac
Here’s the match card:
#1 Buscus Brawl
The Masked Man © vs. Link
#2 Singles Match
Lady of the Lancet vs. Kara the Punch Wizard
#3 Singles Match
Lore Convoluter vs. Schir
#4 Bunny Championship :3
Macro Man Keynes vs. Fruitsniffer ©
Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe
https://goo.gl/forms/reN9dwMS6m5nvZA33 vs. Shane McMahon
#5 Hardcore Match
Tolvie vs. Hell-Ena
#6 Co-Comm Championship
Third Street Sinners vs. First oRa ©
We’ll celebrate pride month by changing up the arena for the regular shows until the PPV
El Catire Arrecho is sitting at the top of the arena’s ramp.
“Saludos a todos en la luna, and everyone watching at home too, it’s your friend El Catire Arrecho, here to bring you a message, so I want you all to listen to me, and digest what I’m about to say. Sometime after I started here, for some reason, people started acting like I was debuting every time I fought, even when I held one of the belts! So I’m here to tell you all that I’ve had en-A LA MIERDA”
A figure emerges from the portal.
“Finally, I’ve arrived at this stinking den of evil, the hiding place of Lolth’s Pantheon of Fallen Warrior Assassins, or the LPFWA, as they apparently call themselves, now I can finally begin my quest to eradicate these pests, or I am not Kara, The Punch Wizard”
1 Like
Show starts in 15 minutes. https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
Match 1: The Masked Man © vs. Link for the Buscus
Match 2: Lady of the Lancet vs. Kara the Punch Wizard
Match 3: Lore Convoluter vs. Schir
Match 4: Macro Man Keynes vs. Fruitsniffer © for the Bunny Title :3
Intermission: Thundercat Chris Pine vs. Shane McMahon
Match 5: Tolvie vs. Hell-Ena
Main Event: Third Street Sinners vs. First oRa © for the Co-Comm Titles
Let’s go! On Saturday in the usual place at the usual time we’ll head into our 30th show this season. This is a pretty decent milestune. The previous season had 32 episodes. Another big milestone we just happen to be reaching with our next PPV. The show after that will mark the Anniversary of LPFWA. The first ever episode aired on July 6th 2013 (but is labeled as July 7th for some reason).
And oh, right, you are welcome to vote on the Bonus match for this week as well. We need to find a new opponent as well as who’s gonna challenge them. Additionally you can vote on match types now. If the match-up renders a match type invalid I’ll resort to something that’s either close to that or a regular match, if need be.
The match card, of course, is below.
#1 Buscus Brawl
The Masked Man vs. Kylo Ren
#2 Table Elimination Tag
Los Borrachos vs. Haunted Forest
#3 Singles Match, No Count-Out
Jumpy-Chan vs. Divine Coffee Binge
#4 Bunny Championship
Thundercat Chris Pine vs. Fruitsniffer
#5 Three-Way
Garbo Girl vs. Hell-Ena vs. Kara The Punch Wizard
Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe
https://goo.gl/forms/BlvZdQF5ZkYc0pfu1
Main Event: LP Superstar Championship
D the Destroyer vs. Toad
Show starts in 15 minutes. https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
Match 1: Masked Man © vs. Kylo Ren for the Buscus
Match 2: Los Borrachos vs. Haunted Forest
Match 3: Jumpy-Chan vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
Match 4: Thundercat Chris Pine vs. Fruitsniffer © for the Bunny Title :3
Match 5: Garbo Girl vs. Hell-Ena vs. Kara the Punch Wizard
Intermission: DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Ronda Rousey
Main Event: D the Destroyer vs. Toad © for the LP Superstar Title
Not a total loss for Garbo. Still surviving longer than I thought and managed to get a few good hits in. Hope springs eternal for another win.
“Hmpf, I must admit, I was expecting more from Lolth’s supposedly elite forces, but if this is all two of your former champions could manage, perhaps I may have overestimated you all. Soon, I’ll free all these people that are being forced to watch this horrifying ritual, and return them safely to their homes.”
I forgot to post the match card these past two days. Shame on me.
The show will happen in the usual time at the usual place
Unfortunately this means there’s no time to vote on the next Bonus match. So I got you two bonus matches in Fire Pro Wrestling World again.
Match Card:
#1 Buscus Brawl
The Masked Man © vs. John Cena
#2 Four-Way - No. 1 Contender Match for the Kawaii Title
Garbo Barba vs. Samus vs. DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Konami Kouda
#3 Singles Match
Angus McMutton vs. Dr. Ham
Intermission: Fire Pro Wrestling World
Krimsh vs. Punchy
#4 Bunny Championship :3
a tree vs. Fruitsniffer ©
#5 Hardcore Match
Kara the Punch Wizard vs. Tolvie
Intermission: Fire Pro Wrestling World
Kung Fu Mari vs. seven random people
#6 Kawaii Championship
Jumpy-Chan vs. Nadira ©
-somewhere secret where palpatines training which may or may not be canon and is instead in angus head begins-
Mr Mcmutton You don’t fear death… You welcome it. Your punishment must be more severe.
Is this a rib…Iggy are ye behind this,did ye spike mah tru bru stash
I must torture your soul mr mcmutton
this isnae funny anymore…where am i this isnae the lpfwa locker room
Home, where I learned the truth about despair, as will you. There’s a reason why this prison is the worst hell on earth… Hope. Every man who has ventured here over the centuries has looked up to the light and imagined climbing to freedom. So easy… So simple… And like shipwrecked men turning to sea water from uncontrollable thirst, many have died trying. I learned here that there can be no true despair without hope. So, as I terrorize the lpfwa, I will feed its people hope to poison their souls. I will let them believe they can survive so that you can watch them clamoring over each other to “stay in the sun.” You can watch me torture an entire city and when you have truly understood the depth of your failure, we will fulfill Palpatines destiny… We will destroy the lpfwa and then, when it is done and the lpfwa is ashes, then you have my permission to die
this wis fun but i goat tae fight a chiropractor tonight but dinnae ye worry i’ll gie his broken body tae ye cause hes certainly gonna need spinal treatment when i’m finished wie him
1 Like
Show starts in 15 minutes. https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
Match 1: The Masked Man © vs. John Cena for the Buscus
Match 2: Garbo Barba vs. Samus vs. DCB vs. Konami
Match 3: Angus McMutton vs. Dr. Ham
FPWW: Krimsh vs. Punchy
Match 4: A tree vs. Fruitsniffer © for the Bunny Title :3
Match 5: Kara TPW vs. Tolvie
FPWW: Eight-Way Chaos feat. Kung-Fu Mari
Main Event: Jumpy-Chan vs. Nadira © for the Kawaii Title
LPFWA 2k18 Episode #31 - Look! Pros Fear Wrestling is Anime
YerPalHal: Look! Pros Fear Wrestling is Anime
ZephyrWhisper: Leaf Patted Fruity Wins Again
ah think i’m gonna like being part o thon ora 66 i just watched the boss squish a ref with a monster truck…good times stirs the hope in me y’know
Hi! This week’s show will be HELL!!! We’re all going to HELL!!!
It will be at the usual time in the usual place. And you also get to vote once more on the bonus match. Just head here if you wanna do so.
The match card is below, of course.
#1 8-Way Chaos
Thundercat Chris Pine vs. Dr. Ham vs. a tree vs. D the Destroyer vs. Lore Convoluter vs. Schir vs. Macro Man Keynes vs. Kane
#2 Singles Match
Yelizaveta RN vs. Lady of the Lancet
#3 Tag Team Match
First Ora w/ Tommy Wiseau vs. Hugrule Warriors
#4 LP Superstar Championship
Palpatine vs. Toad ©
#5 Kawaii Championship
DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Nadira ©
#6 Co-Comm Championship
Los Borrachos vs. Third Street Sinners ©
#7 Bunny Championship :3
Freddie Hope vs. Fruitsniffer ©
Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe
https://goo.gl/forms/sJFCbgJjKbWZJqLj2
#8 LPFWA Women’s Championship
Tolvie vs. Valerie Easton ©
Main Event: LPFWA Championship
Flamander vs. Nuffkins ©
Show starts in 15 minutes. https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
Match 1: Eight-Way Chaos
Match 2: Yelizaveta RN vs. Lady of the Lancet
Match 3: First oRa & Tommy Wiseau vs. Hugrule Warriors
Match 4: Palpatine vs. Toad © for the LP Superstar Title
Match 5: DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Nadira © for the Kawaii Title
Match 6: Los Borrachos vs. Third Street Sinners © for the Co-Comm Titles
Match 7: Freddie Hope vs. Fruitsniffer © for the Bunny Title
Intermission: Samus Aran vs. Awesome Kong
Main Event 1: Tolvie vs. Valerie Easton © for the LPFWA Women’s Title
Main Event 2: Flamander vs. Nuffkins © for the LPFWA Title
LPFWA, a Wrestling E-Federation where AIs duke it out! Starting in 15 minutes on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
You can join the thread here: LPFWA 2k18 - Killing the Business Since 2013
Match 1: Eight-Way Chaos
Match 2: Yelizaveta RN vs. Lady of the Lancet
Match 3: First oRa & Tommy Wiseau vs. Hugrule Warriors
Match 4: Palpatine vs. Toad © for the LP Superstar Title
Match 5: DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Nadira © for the Kawaii Title
Match 6: Los Borrachos vs. Third Street Sinners © for the Co-Comm Titles
Match 7: Freddie Hope vs. Fruitsniffer © for the Bunny Title
Intermission: Samus Aran vs. Awesome Kong
Main Event 1: Tolvie vs. Valerie Easton © for the LPFWA Women’s Title
Main Event 2: Flamander vs. Nuffkins © for the LPFWA Title
LPFWA 2k18 Episode #32 - Little Punk Flamander Worms Again in HELL!
Deathmaster780: Loopy Punchers Fight Worrisome Attacks
FelinoidSA: Lady Pummels Female Wrestler Again
FelinoidSA: Little Punk Flamander Worms Again
Let’s also get a bit into Nuffkins’ path through LPFWA while we’re here already
He debuted in the first episode of Season 2. Established as a kind of simple-minded dinosaur who poses as a human wrestler. And to do so emulates what he thinks a wrestler is supposed to look like. In this case it’s Hulk Hogan. Nuffkins enters to American Made, Hogans WCW theme, which is now used by Toad. In his debut match he wins the LP Superstar Title from Succinct and Punchy, who happened to hold it at the end of Season 1.
As the show goes on, and Hulk Hogan turned out to be aggressively racist over the course of Gawkermania Nuffkins begins to emulate a different Wrestler, Stone Cold Steve Austin. In case you care: Nuffkins 3:16 says “I’m a human” which punchy just counters with repeated "What?"chants. In the final episode of Season 2 Nuffkins challenges the LP Superstar Champion Pomp to recapture the belt he lost not too long after he’s won it. He successfully recaptures the title and in the coming three years he becomes the Nuffkins we now know. The slightly arrogant LPFWA Champion who’s achieved what he describes as “peak fashion” and has just had the longest title reign in LPFWA period.
To break kayfabe here: When I picked him as the inaugural champion for this season I did not expecpt him to keep the title for long. He was a leftover. One of the established guys where you could say “Yeah, he can hold a title and it wouldn’t seem too weird”. Him defending the belt so convincingly and repeatedly was a happy little accident but knowing Season 2 Nuffkins and comparing him to Season 3 Nuffkins creates a nice little narrative of a guy going from “Good but not great.” to the longest reigning LPFWA Champion yet.
On screen Nuffkins had defenses against Toad, Fruitsniffer, BNF, Lotus, anilEhilated (the latter two in the same match), a tree, Freddie Hope and Goldberg. Finally he lost it to Flamander.
So that’s 7 successful defenses over 239 on-screen days (218 if you coun’t from his first on-screen defense.)
But you need to keep in mind that Nuffkins had the belt when this season started. So let’s have some fun.
If Nuffkins had won the title from Dr. Rath on the first PPV after the end of Season 2 (which means he’d have to have lost the LP Superstar Title in the build to the PPV) and kept the title since then his reign would be, hypothetically, 1557 days long. Which means between 51 and 52 defenses if we’re assuming monthly defenses. Now, I could just decide that this is the case but I’m not. I’d still like to contrast this hypothetical reign with some other historic reigns.
Kazuchika Okada held the IWGP Heavyweight Title for 720 days with 12 Successful defenses. (He holds the record for both days held, and defenses)
CM Punk held the WWE title for 434 days with 22 successful defenses, though some say it’s been over one hundred (including house shows and dark matches). The belt is also sometimes defended in non Big Match scenarios where no one really expects a title change.
Asuka’s NXT Women’s Title reign lasted for 510 days with 11 defenses.
Brunno Samartino’s first WWE reign lasted for 2803 that’s seven years. He defended the belt 390 (!!!) times. Of course, title reigns back then were just longer. This was between 1963 and 1971 (stats from cagematch.net)
You might notice that the number of defenses isn’t really proportional to the days they were held. This has multiple reasons. For one, WWE Titles tend to have more defenses because they have more shows and the title is defended at least once per month at PPVs (not necessarily, but usually that’s the case) additionally there’s throwaway defenses on RAW and Smackdown as well as at house shows, sometimes.
NJPW, on the other hand, treats it’s title defenses like a much bigger deal and the company works more on a tour-schedule rather than being a weekly TV-Show. Other companies have their own quirks in this regard too, which is why I prefer measuring a title reign by the number of defenses, rather than the days they lasted. Just look at Brock Lesnars ongoing 455+ day reign with only 7 (televised) defenses.