A burnt pizza ceases to be a pizza and becomes simply a physical representation of depression.
One thing I’ve always wanted to figure out with pizza is the best way to incorporate pepperoni. Every time I’ve ever put pepperoni on a pizza it’s always turned out disappointing, because the pepperoni flavor just kind of seeps into everything and the pepperoni itself loses its flavor somehow and just becomes a crispy grease circle.
I showed this to a Missouri native friend of mine, who responded with “He Is Correct And I Will Willingly Go To Jail.”
The thing is, the “all pizza is at least okay” clause usually gets invoked in the case of cafeteria pizza or frozen pizza e. g. “Why am I enjoying this frozen pizza I bought at Walgreens at 2 AM? Because all pizza as at least okay.” Me and my roommates thought we could circumvent the rule using trash combinations of toppings, but as it turns out, the rule still applies. even if you willingly try to make the worst topping combos you can, the pizza retains integrity.
This does bring up a disturbing point though-does this means that all those horrible trash pizzas you see online, like “corn dog pizza,” “fry pizza,” and “peanut pizza” are not awful, and at least mediocre? And if so, are we comfortable with living with a universe whose natural laws allow such foodcrimes to pass unabated, and allow these abominations to still be considered ‘an alright pizza’?
I mean pizza itself was made as a sort of “oops we have all this leftover ingredients from pasta making let’s just threw shit together so it doesn’t go to waste” so it actually makes a good deal of sense that pizza is almost impossible to ruin. It is by it’s very nature “ruined” because it’s a bunch of stuff you aren’t going to eat mashed together.
That said a lot of the so called food crime pizzas I’ve seen do elicit a fear response, yeah. That is a bit weird and unsettling.
Confession: I know many people from the Northeast, Chicago, etc who are huge pizza snobs (not meant in a derogatory way; just very picky/specific).
I’ve had “bad” pizza and “fantastic, high-quality” pizza and both taste pretty ok to me GIVE ME ANY DECENT PEPPERONI. I’LL BE FINE.
If you ain’t never had a BBQ chicken pizza with grilled onions (the BBQ sauce replaces the pizza sauce), then you are missing out.
Pizza is the greatest of foods. Give me a margarita any day(or a chicken and jalapeno. :V) I’m so dedicated to making decent pizza I made a sourdough culture to use rather than store bought yeast. I just wish my oven could go above 525 and I’m not about to snip the lock off the self cleaning cycle to achieve that.
One day I’ll buy one of those fancy portable brick ovens…sigh…one day.
I’m not a fan of pineapple on my pizzas however I have had pears on a pizza before and it was quite good, wish I remembered the name of the place I had it at, it was in Missoula, Montana.
Reminder that the Ohio Valley has an awful bizarre pizza concoction where sure, it’s crust, sauce, toppings…
but you put the cheese on cold after you bake it. I have yet to understand why you would fuck up the cheese like this, shame it. But jesus.
My favorite pizza is when you take a normal pizza and just fuck it up. Massive amounts of veggies, garlic sauce instead of tomato, and hell maybe add a lil drizzle. Though my favorite normal pizza is just pepperoni/mushroom. I’ve only ever had non-chain/non shitty pizza once when I was like 5 so i’m pretty tolerant of anything.
But GOD do I wanna try anchovy so bad.
A good thread. My fave pizza is deep dish with mushrooms and onions. I hadn’t tried deep dish until recently because I live in the middle of nowhere but managed to have some with a crispy crust and a really nice sauce that wasn’t too acidic and it’s just the best.
All pizzas are good and I love them, merry pizzamas.
I like pineapple on pizza. Fight me IRL. Bacon, sausage and pineapple pizza is the bomb.
Story time with Jenner. My mom was a single mom on welfare who worked two jobs and was rarely home so we kind of had to fend for ourselves food wise. Lots of hamburger helper and mac and cheese with hotdogs in it. Mom was supposed to go to the food bank after work but she was too exhausted so I decided to do a nice thing and make dinner. All we had was some bakers flour, some ketchup, some gross 60% oil cheese, and some bologna. I decided to make us, what I am calling, Poverty Pizza. I made dough from the flour, struggled to roll it out into a vague pizza shape because it wasn’t pizza dough, used ketchup as the sauce, grated the nasty cheese, topped it with the bologna and cooked it in the oven. It… did not go well. I am not sure you could call it pizza, flatbread maybe but that’s incredibly generous. However it was edible so
I used to work next to a place that does NY Style pizza. After a few years, I really acquired a taste for it. Big broad pieces you have to fold over to eat, it’s like a do-it-yourself calzone. They used to do a cheeseburger pizza which had like pickles and onion and mustard instead of tomatoes sauce. It was outrageously awesome.
Oh and a place at college used to do potato (big crinkle cut french fries) and bacon with a fancy blend of cheeses. That pizza was great too. Unfortunately, they have gone way downhill in the intervening years since I was there. (Which is understandable considering just how large that pile of intervening years has become.)
What’s crazy about up here is we have two local/semilocal chains, Ronzio’s and Papa Gino’s. Both produce extremely bad pizza. How they managed to grow to be as big as they are, I don’t know. Basically any of the dozens of standalone pizza joints is way better. A personal relationship with a local pizzamonger is something every American needs.
Hot Pizza Take: Pineapple is my favorite topping.
Y’all should come over to my neck of the woods for pizza. Can’t say there’s a style of pizza better than New Haven-style pizza.
Hawaiian style has been my favorite for many years, so it’s good to see some support from the pineapple pizza likers in the thread. My friends who don’t understand why I enjoy it, so when it comes to ordering time I often go with something that everyone can enjoy, such as a nice pepperoni, my second favorite.
I’m just becoming familiar with the variety of pizzerias in the area; my tastes are not so refined that I can name a particular specialty pie place just yet.
My regular pizza place does a vegetarian nachos pizza. I order the vegetarian nachos pizza… quite regularly.
There’s a couple of places that I really like near me: The first is Lighthouse Pizza - admittedly their pizzas can be a little hit or miss, but they’re made in-house, usually pretty good, and they’re less than 5 minutes away from me and do deliveries (The nearest ‘big chain’ pizza places in my neck of the woods are a couple of hours away - not that I mind too much. Pizza Hut is a sometimes pizza.)
The other pizza place I like is a place called Scribbles, it’s about an hour away (two hours if I take the bus), but their pizza has been consistently good over and over, and their pizza passes both of my “Exce Pizza” criteria (a bit more on that in a sec)
As far as varieties go, I’m really boring and just go for a cheese pizza (or a “margherita” which is just fancy-talk for “cheese pizza”). However, different places do cheese pizza differently, and so I have a sort of criteria to determine whether or not I’m gonna order pizza from a given place. It’s pretty simple:
- Is the pizza good while hot?
- Does the pizza taste even better the next day, when it’s cold?
Scribbles was my introduction to how amazing pizza can taste the next day, and so it has the honor of being both the first and so far the only pizza that I love hot or cold.