Let's Play To the Moon: It's like watching a trainwreck

Episode Two: The Discovery

[Oh gosh, I hope I did that right.]

: “…Not a bad place to retire at, huh?”

: “I could do better.”

: “Nightshifts; love 'em or hate 'em?”

: “You know the answer, you stupid owl.”

: “…It’s probably gonna be another all-nighter, y’know.”

: “I know.”

: “And I doubt they’d have any coffee…”

: “Shut up.”

: “…And the ocean waves will sing lullabies…”

: “Not through your blathering, they won’t.”

(Theme: Spiral of Secrets)

: “That’s okay, I tend to be bad at predicting deaths as well.”
[K: What amazing social graces.]

: “Are you the patient’s daughter?”

: “Oh no, I am just his caretaker.”

: “It’s not exactly a nine-to-five job so Johnny lets us live here.”

: “I suppose this ‘Johnny’ is our man?”

: “…‘Johnny’? Listen, if its a kid we’re dealing with I don’t think we’re the ones you want.”

: “No, no. He just prefers to be called that.”

: “He’s upstairs right now with his medical doctor. Come with me.”

[Once Lily ascends the stairs and we regain control the music stops and it’s back to just the sound of wind and waves,]

: “C’mon, grab that case and let’s go.”

: “…When my back breaks one day, I’ll sue you with the insurance claim.”

: “Alright, let’s head upstairs before I drop this.”
[We will, but I wanna look at something else first though, let’s check out the piano.]

: “What kind of song is this? It’s just two notes repeated over and over…”
[Hmm. Now we’ll head upstairs.]

(Theme: For River (Sarah and Tommy’s version))

: “…Those kids are pretty good for their age.”

: “Hey, you’re the one who said there was no time to waste. And incidentally, I’m the one who is carrying the weight of a small meteroid.”
[It’s spelled like that.]

: “Yeah yeah, c’mon.”

[Here’s part of the upstairs, if we check the clock it’s around 11.]

[Here’s the other half of the upstairs, once we enter this room the piano music stops and it’s wind and waves again. The arrow to the bottom left leads into a pretty swank bathroom. Now I’m gonna check out the gallery in the hall then talk to the doctor.]

: “He’s unresponsive at this point, but by the looks of things he’s still consciously hanging on. It’s hard to say how long you’ll have but I would hurry.”
[Oh dear, I guess we best get started.]

: “Yes. It’ll just be a moment.”

(Theme: Uncharted Realms)

: “…Are you sure a common household power outlet is sufficient?”

: “No worries, we’re the experts.”

: “Standard procedures… Just keeping ya on your toes!”

: “How’s he doing?”

: “Not so well. If I were to say, he’s got just a day or two left.”

: “That’s plenty of time.”

: “…So you two can grant him any wish, huh?”

: “…To try, at least.”

: “But we always succeed because we’re awesome.”

: “So, what’s the wish?”

: “The moon.”

: “The moon?”

: “The moon…
… He wants to go to the moon.”

: “The geezers just keep on getting crazier, huh?”

: “So, can you do it?”

: “It depends.”

: “She meant to say ‘yes’.”

: “Why don’t you tell us about our client here?”

: “That… I don’t really know much. Johnny’s an odd man. Through the two years that I’ve worked here, he rarely spoke.”

: “He worked as a craftsman for most of his life, and his wife passed away two years ago.”

: “… I don’t really know many details.”

: “I would’ve known more if I were his paperboy for Pete’s sake.”

: “Shush, just do your thing.”

: “Well…I suppose if you look around the house, you may find some more info. I suppose Johnny wouldn’t mind since he signed for you two.”

: “Mm…So be it.”
[The music stops here, wind and waves return.]

[We’re given the option to choose either Neil or Eva here, I flip a coin and it turns up Neil.]

: “I’ll do it. I once played Sherlock Holmes in a high-school musical.”

: “…I remember you playing Watson.”

: “Meh, same thing.”

: “Just configure this, I got it started anyway.”
[Eva moves to the display and we’re given control of Neil.]

: “My children can show you around. They’re probably downstairs at the piano.”
[If we speak to Eva now she asks, “Did you find anything yet, Sherlock?” I love Eva and Neil’s interplay. When we start to move to leave the room the doctor stops us.]

: “Wait, come back here for a moment. I have something for you.”
[So we go talk to him.]

: “Here, take this.”


: “That’ll keep you updated on Johnny’s status.”

: “I hope there’s no self-destruct button… I seem to have a knack for those.”
[We are then informed that Johnny’s heart monitor is now activated in the menu. Let’s take a look.]

[Where before we saw an animated “Patient Offline” we are now treated to Johnny and his current heart rate.]

(Theme: For River (Sarah and Tommy’s version))
[Once you cross back over to the stairwell this song picks back up again.]

[If we try to explore, Neil just says we should speak to the kids first. We can still explore, but it’s best to just talk to the kids.]

: “What’cha want?”
[We’re given the option to ask them to show us around the house or to keep playing. I, of course, ask them to show us around the house.]

: “Hey, your ma told you to show me around the house.”

: “Okay, maybe we will.”

(Theme: Bestest Detectives in the World)

: “Maybe…?”

: “…I think we just need a little convincing, that’s all. Wut do ya think, Tommy?”

: “Yah!”

: “…Alright, let’s talk. What do you punks want?”

: “We want…one trillion dollars!”

: “Or the candycane mom hides from us.”

: “Yah, or that!”

: “Er, what?”

: “It’s in the kitchen. Ma put it there to save for when we do chores. Get it for us, and we’ll give you a tour through the house!”
[The word kitchen is in yellow font, but since I can’t color font I’m underlining all colored font.]

: “What do ya say?”

: “Well…”

[The best part about interacting with other peoples kids is revving them up and loading them up with sugar and then escaping into the night.
K: You’re evil.]

: “…You’re lucky I don’t wanna walk up the stairs again, or I’d just tell your mother.”

: “The kitchen’s door is right next to the stairs. Now go!”
[They then go back to playing the piano.]

(Theme: For River (Sarah and Tommy’s version))
[K: I like how the music fades as you explore the house, it’s a nice touch.]

: (…It’s almost like some kind of a terrible quest to get my night started.)
[Welp, time for some good old fashioned bribery.]

[Now we return to the kids.]

: “It’s probably a decade old and tastes like rubber, but you can use it like a walking stick.”
[They stop playing the piano and the game fades out then fades back in with them standing by Neil. This music begins.]

(Theme: Between a Squirrel and a Tree)

: “Alrigh’, where do we start?”

: “…I don’t like that funny room.”

: “Er, what kind of ‘funny room’…?”

: “You’ll see!”

: “…It’s weiiirrd!”

: “We need to get the keys, though. The old man hid it inside a book in the study.”
[Before we set out, let’s check out our new party members.]

[Wow, Tommy has terrible opinions. We’re now free to explore the house, the room to the far left is a bathroom, we want the room to the bottom left.]

[There’s a few books to read in this room but I’m too lazy to hand write all the text so here’s another gif.]

[Key retrieved, we go back and chat up Sarah and Tommy a bit.]

: “Tommy used to throw books at me and call it a book fight… Until one day, I threw one back and he needed a bandaid. Heehee!”

: “I wonder if Johnny has actually read all these books!”

: “Just a bunch of books in here. They’ve nothing I don’t know about, though!”

: “Me and Sarah used to have book fights until one of us needed a bandaid. Ma told us to stop, but we do it anyway!”
[So precocious. Back out to the main room.]

[Down the stairs then!]

[There’s a bit to explore down here before we check out that room.]

[Oh hell yeah, the Animorphs books! I read the hell out of these as a teen. Yes, Rachel was my favorite.
K: You’re gonna start an Animorphs derail.
J: I’m okay with it.]

[The crate below this and the chest on the table near Tommy are both locked. One quick chat with the kids before we check out that room.]

: “We used to find all kinds of cool junks here! Mouldy books. mouldy buckets, mouldy cheese…You name it!”

: “Once we were down here and the lights were out, and Tommy fell down the stairs. He chipped a tooth, but that’s okay because he’s ugly to begin with.”
[:nattyburn: …I miss the smilies the most. Alright, let’s check out this creepy room.]

[When you enter the room the music stops and there is only this dripping water noise.
[K: When I first saw this room I was sure you had tricked me into playing another creepy horror game.
J: They’re referring to the time I convinced them to play Spooky’s Jump Scare Mansion.
K: “Convinced,” she says, I am still freaked out by Specimen 6.]

[What happens next can really only be done justice with video.]

(Theme: The creepy ringing and howling song isn’t in the soundtrack but Lament of a Stranger comes after that.)
[K: I like how you turn the lights off before leaving the room. Just, “Nope.”
J: Hahaha, I actually turn off the lights in every room before leaving. A lifetime of playing adventure games has taught me to turn off lights and close doors, drawers and such to get all the points.
K: I’m curious what you thought when you first turned on the lights.
J: Honestly, I got pretty hype. I thought, “Oh man, we’re gonna delve into the memories of someone with mental illness!”]

[Next time, we go to the lighthouse and begin the process of fulfilling a dying man’s last request.]


Oh man. I adore this game. It’s a real rollercoaster of emotions and I loved every minute of it. Also, it always amused me when launching the game it would say “Steam is preparing to launch To The Moon”. I look forward to re-experiencing it again! :grin:

Just posting to let you all know that I vastly improved the first and second updates. The Opening Video is now there, most screenshots are roughly the same size (some gifs and screenshots still smaller because I haven’t gotten around to re-recording and recapturing them) and the Weird Room video is now recorded correctly. Everything should be good from here on out and I should be able to maintain this level of dubious quality. I want everyone to know I couldn’t have done this without Combat_Lobster’s help. I’ll have a new update up in a few days. I don’t really have a dedicated update schedule but I’m gonna try and get one up at least once a week. I hope you enjoy my LP.

Proud of u, friend.

I’ve always been really interested in this game, I’ve heard some good things!

I’m really excited for the rest of this thread

Episode Three: Inception

[I lied, I’m updating today. It looks so much better with semi-uniform screenshots. Anyway, we were about to go to the lighthouse.]

[So, to the lighthouse then!]

[Guess we’ve got to go up that path we tried to take originally by the car.]

[Oh, mystery solved. We head down to the crash.]

: “Who’s da dummy that crashed da car?”

: “That was, er…Dr. Rosalene. Yeah. Oh Dr. Rosalene, tsk tsk tsk!”

: “Uh, that was also Dr. Rosalene. She’s terrible.”

: “Oh Dr. Rosalene, tsk tsk tsk!”
[We’ll head up to the alternate path now.]

[It leads to a pleasant wooded area.]

(Theme: Teddy)
[Oh no! Guys, I’ve been dreading this boss fight since I started this LP. It’s the hardest boss in the game. Especially since Tommy starts off afflicted with the sleep status, so you’re already a man down. The squirrel has an aoe blast attack that hits every character for a high amount of damage and demoralizes them, lowering their defense, so the next time it does the attack it does even more damage and… look just watch the video.]

[Whew, that was close. Let’s heal up and get to the lighthouse.]

(Theme: The wind and surf sound effects until you enter the next area and then Uncharted Realms)

: “‘River Wyles’, huh. Was she John’s wife?”

: “Dunno. C’mon, the lighthouse’s right there!”
[In we go.]

[Up we go.]

[Once you enter the top of the lighthouse, all the music stops and is replaced by kind of hollow, slightly eerie, sound effects. I’ll link it below. Time to explore.]

(Theme: Some kind of hollow atmospheric sound effects)
[I forgot to noise cancel and I’m too lazy to fix it right now. The microphone rubbing sound is authentic though.]

: “Hey, this wasn’t here when we came last week!”

: “Oh ya, Johnny must’ve came here before he fell ill again.”

: “Two colours, huh?”
[Oh dear, British spelling.
K: Kan Gao is Canadian, it’s Canadian spelling.]

: “Am I the only one who’s a little creeped out by these, though?”

: “Yah you are.”

: “Yep.”

(Theme: A ringtone)

: “…Ack, I should’ve guessed.”

: “Yeah yeah, we’re coming! Blah blah blah.”

: “Alright, let’s head back.”

[The wind and surf sounds are back now.]

: “Burning ants with a magnifying glass.”

: “Using moonlight?”

: “…Okay, I was taking a nap then!”

: “God, it’s so hard to be a smartass nowadays.”
[Tell me about it.]

: “You’re pretty good at being half of it.”
[Hahaha, same. Eva walks over and sits down at the computer.]

: “Your helmet’s on the couch. Get it on, we’re going in.”
[Just a moment, I wanna talk to Lily first.]

: “By the way, I’m curious…How does it work? Do you just write him another life like a novel?”
[We’re given the option to explain it to her or move on. I, of course, choose to explain it to her.]

: “What? No, I’m no novelist.”
K: You are literally writing the gayest book I have ever read.
J: There’s gayer. Anyway, I like to think that a person can’t really call themselves a novelist until they’ve achieved some level of quality.
K: Terry Goodkind calls himself a novelist.
J: Does he really? Well, that’s why I’m not a novelist.]

: “We can’t just write out an entire life manually. There’re way too many dimensions.”

: “Then…how do you do it?”

(Theme: Spiral of Secrets)

: “It’s mainly the machine that does the…‘doing’.”

: “Naturally, since we aren’t paid enough to get our hands dirty.”

: "In a nutshell, our job is to travel through his memories to as early as possible. And when we do, we would then transfer his registered desire of going to the moon… "

: “…to the reconstruction of the world and himself at that early state!”
[K: Does this mean you have to talk about Chrono Cross?
J: I consider this different from time travel.
K: Yeah, it’s definitely not the same.]

: “And with the help of a wiki of data and his own, the machine would then simulate a rerun.”

: “Except this time, he’ll have the motivation of his registered desire with him all his life.”

: “So you’d be depending on him fulfilling his own wish by simply having the desire to? How could that be? Everyone has ambition for things, but most don’t accomplish them.”
[Oh hey look, it’s the thread subtitle.
K: You’re gonna be changing it right?
J: From time to time, yeah. I have a handful of subtitles in mind and one Final Title planned.
K: Fancy.]

: “That’s because in the real world ambitions fluctuate…and fade. People start things with a passion, but eventually they lose that initial drive and slow down.”

: “But imagine if you locked onto that initial push through your entire life, never wavering.”

: “…It’s more powerful than it seems.”
[There was this This American Life episode about this woman who had this list that she made when she was a teenager and she actually stuck to it… I’ll link it when I find it.
K: That’s the badass bounty hunter woman right?
J: Yeah, that’s the one. She rules.
Edit: I found it, here it is: So cool.]

: “That being said, no ambition’s gonna help a dead man. I’d better go get started.”
[The music stops and it’s the wind and waves again.]

: “Oh, of course. Sorry.”

[Next time, I go on a little diversion. Because we had some multiple choice options and I should show you all the outcomes.]

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The novel is pretty gay, fyi.


[spoiler]The squirrel battle is definitely something I remember. How could I forget such a daunting foe?

Watts has nothing to be ashamed of. Shouting about Tornado Punching a squirrel at the top of your lungs is perfectly normal behavior.[/spoiler]

The memory machine is a pretty cool concept, and I really like the little timeline that comes up at the end.

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I love how the battle actually foreshadows something rather significant.

END GAME SPOILERS: Notice how Watts starts with less health than the kids? Foreshadows the fact that Neil is suffering from some sort of ailment/disease (not explained quite what, exactly), which he keeps hidden from Rosalyn.

Episode Four: Divergence

[So, on our way to Johnny’s house, we came across what was apparently a novelty beach ball blocking our way. I chose to push it aside. But what happens if you find a branch?]

: “…A branch will do.”

[So first, we need to find a branch.]

[Now we can handle that obstacle!]

: “I…I don’t even…”

: “It’s some kind of an air ball…”

: “…Uh, right, we need to get going for now.”

: “Riiight…”
[…What happens when we come back this way with the kids?]


(Theme: Sad Violin Strings plays from after Sarah says it’s stupid to after Tommy asks about our cruelty.)
[Sorry about the disruptive sound effect in there. I have no idea how to edit that out. I’ll figure it out and edit in a clean sad violin song one year. #professionalLPer]

: “Uh, don’t worry, Dr. Rosalene’ll buy you another.”

: “Nooo! Don’t do it!”

: “She will?!”

: “Oh yeah, sure. Just ask her afterwards.”

: “…We kinda need to get going now, though.”
[Rest in peace, novelty beach ball.]

[Remember this? What happens if we just tell these brats to knock it off?]

: “Plotting to eat stashed candy is a serious crime, y’know.”

: “I heard you can get 6 years for that.”
(Theme: A Sped Up Version of Bestest Detectives in the Word.)

: “Oh no! What do we do, sis?!”

: “We’re sorry! We didn’t know!!”

: “Uh huh. Well, if you show me around this place now, I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

: “Really? You’d do that for us??”

: “Sure, I’m feeling nice today.”

: “Whew, thanks!!”

: “Yeah, we’ll help!”
[It then does the fade out fade in and we resume the game.]

[Remember this? We had the option to choose whether to take Neil or Eva to fetch the kids and guess what, they each have their own unique dialog! We’ve already seen Neil’s, it’s Eva’s turn.]

: “Thanks for the offer, but I’m busy leaving a butt-print on this chair.”

: “Right. Do continue.”

: “Tommy and Sarah can show you around. They’re probably at the piano downstairs.”
[We try to leave and just like before.]

: “Wait, come back here for a moment. I have something for you.”
[Head over and talk to him.]

: “Here, take this.”
[He gives us the patient monitor, just like he does for Neil.]

: “That’ll keep you updated on Johnny’s status.”

: “Thanks, I was going to ask for it.”
[Downstairs to the kids]

: “Sarah and Tommy, right? Your mother said to ask you two to show me around the house.”

: “Okay, maybe we will.”

: “Maybe…?”

: “…I think we just need a little convincing, that’s all!”

: “Wut do ya think, Tommy?”

: “Yah!”

: “…Uh, what would you like?”

: “We want…one trillion dollars!”

: “Or the candycane mom hides from us.”

: “Yah, or that!”

: “Huh?”

: “There is a giant candycane on top of a high shelf that we can’t reach…”

: “It’s in the kitchen. Ma put it there to save for when we do chores.”

: “Get it for us, and we’ll give you a tour through the house!”

: “What do ya say?”

: “Well…”

[Branching paths within our branching paths? It’s more likely than you think. Yes, we’re doing both.]

I Don’t Negotiate with Terrorists Path:

: “We’re short on time now, but if you just show me around…”

: “…Then Dr. Watts will pay for however many candy canes you want later.”
[K: I’m noticing a theme here.]

: “Really? Like, even if I ask for ten?”

: “Or twelve??”

: “No more than five. They’re bad calories.”

: “That’s still better than one.”

: “Okey, deal then!”
[Fade out and fade in, game resumes. HOWEVER.]

Candy Path:

: “My mother used to keep candies on high shelves too… Alight, I’ll go get it.”

: “The Kitchen’s door is right next to the stairs. Now go!”

: “If you come and give me a tour at this instant, I won’t sneeze on it.”
[Fade out and fade in, game resumes.]

: "Okay, where do we start?’

: “I know! There’s this funny room in the basement.”

: “…I don’t like that funny room.”

: “What do you mean by ‘funny room’?”

: “You’ll see!”

: “…It’s weiiirrd!”

: “We need to get the keys, though. The old man hid it inside a book in the study.
[Forgive me as I cut out as much repetition as I can. We’ve seen the kids’ dialog, only Eva’s is different. The next instance of this is when we find the key.]

[And of course, Eva’s reaction to the funny room is unique as well.]

[K: Still turning around and shutting off lights, I see.
J: Yeah, I almost missed that one because I was in a hurry to record this whole segment. But I remain the Most Conscientious.]

: “Did you see it??”

: “…What do you two know about all those rabbits?”

: “Nothing! The old man didn’t want anyone to go inside, so we never told him.”

: “There’re more of them, actually!”

: “Where?”

: “Inside the abandoned lighthouse! It’s just beneath this cliff!”

: “Wanna go see? I got the keys!”

: “…You aren’t supposed to go in there either, are you?”

: “Heehee!”

: “Remind me to never take you to Neil’s house.”

: “So, ya wanna go see the lighthouse?”

: “Well, it’s rather cold outside, but…”

[This might also be a branching path with new dialog but I forgot to pick this option with both the protagonists so I have no idea what happens when you do. In a couple months, I might get around to replaying this section just to check this option for both Neil and Eva but for now we’ll just have to endure the curiosity together. #LPtemporarilynotcomprehensive]

: “Y’know what, fine. Maybe it’ll tell me more about those rabbits. Let’s go check that old lighthouse out.”
[Another branching path here!]

Deflation Path:

: “Oh no!”

: “My novelty beach ball… Someone broke it!”

: “…Ah.”

: “It was stupid anyway.”
[Tommy laments his novelty beach ball, felled by our cruel hands. We’ve seen this.]

: “Uh…Look, I’ll buy you another one.”
[Sarah protests and Tommy asks if Eva really will.]

: “Sure. But we kinda need to get going now.”

Beach Safe Path:

: “Huh…?”

: “My novelty beach ball…I thought I lost it!”

: “…Ah.”

: “It’s stupid anyway.”

: “Oh, I’ll never lose it again!”

: “I’m gonna hide it. Don’t look!”

: “Um, there’s no time to wast–”

[Unique dialog at the car and roadkill too.]

: “Not me.”

: “It’s pretty dark out… aren’t you kids scared?”

: “Of course not! We roleplay it away!”

: “What?”

: “Tommy’s a super powerful knight and I’m a mighty magician!”

: “Yeah! We destroy all evil!”

: “Oh. That’s, uh… that’s nice.”
[K: Pictured: My mom every time I told her I was going out to play Dungeons and Dragons.
J: She didn’t think it was satanic like mine and try to forbid you from it? Lucky.
K: Your mom was like that? Unfortunate. However, one of your characters did literally became the Avatar of Vecna.
J: Vecna is the good guy!]

: “Do you roleplay too??”

: “I, uh…No?”

: “She’s not cool enough to do it.”
[Can confirm roleplaying makes you extra cool.]

: “Hey, I could if I wanted to!”

: “…Just you children watch.”
[She’s gonna roleplay so hard.
K: I’m hyped.
J: Thread discussion: What would Eva’s tabletop character be?]

: “Also not me.”
[You know what time it is. It’s squirrel boss fight time!
K:You’re gonna do the shtick again?
J: Sweetheart, I am a committed professional!]

[Okay, so this boss fight is slightly easier with Eva because she–
K: Stop it.
J: You hate fun.
Okay fine, so Eva has her own unique attacks to select from.]

[K: Looks like she has an earth and fire elemental affinity in comparison to Neil’s water affinity.
J: Yeah, they both share a wind attack though. Kinda neat.]

[K:I knew you were gonna pick Armageddon Fist.
J: Hell yeah I’m gonna pick Armageddon Fist! I also think both Eva and Neil actually take their shoe off if you pick shoe but I’m not sure.]

: “‘River Wyles’… Was she John’s wife?”

: “Dunno. C’mon, the lighthouse is right there!”
[More unique dialog at the top of the lighthouse.]

[Lighthouse status: Not lit, fam.
K: I don’t even know what that means.
J: Me neither.
K: We are terminally uncool.]

[When we investigate the origami rabbit Tommy informs us it wasn’t here before just like he does in Neil’s version of the event. Not much changes here until Eva speaks.]

: “This is the only one with two colors, huh?”

: “Y’know, these things actually look pretty hard to fold. Kind of an odd hobby, though…”
(Theme: Eva’s REAL Ringtone, there’s a track on the To the Moon soundtrack called Eva’s Ringtone but it’s not this ringtone.)

: “Oh, that’s my phone.”

: “It’s Watts. Is everything ready?”

: “Alright, I’ll be right there.”

: “Why do you have a creepy ringtone?”
[K: Jenner’s ringtone is the Sonic drowning music.
J: It’s not a competition.]

: “'Cause it scares the monsters away. C’mon, let’s head back.”

[From here’s there’s only a little bit more unique dialog, like when we choose to explain how the machine works to Lily.]

: “How does it work? Do you just write him another life like a novel?”

: “Then…how do you do it?”

: “Not us. The machine does most of it.”
[Neil then goes on to talk about how they’re not paid enough to get their hands dirty and everything else after this follows the dialog I’ve already shown either exactly or so closely that I don’t see a point in rehashing it. Hope you enjoyed this update!]

[Next time, we delve into Johnny’s memories.]

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Woops, I didn’t record what happens if you don’t deflate the beach ball with Eva. I guess I’m rerecording some stuff sooner than I thought. I’ll get to it soonish, I need to finish my short story for the short fiction thread first. I also owe you guys a second update since I promised I’d do one a week, and I think I missed one last week. I’ll get that up this week in an effort to keep on schedule. :heart:

Eva would be a…is Fire Monk a thing in DnD? Cause if so she’d be that

and if it’s not a thing in DnD then consider my desire to ever start learning DnD dead

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Given her moveset, there’s an Earth Wind and Fire joke somewhere in there, but I don’t know enough of their songs that aren’t September to make one.

I feel like Eva would be the person who defaults to a human warrior in her first campaign, and in all subsequent campaigns she’d play a variety of different races. All of them would be mages, though.

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I’d like to think that, if this were Pathfinder, Eva would play a Lore Oracle with the Blackened Curse (because fire) because she’s a huge nerd who wants to know and learn everything.

Meanwhile Neil would roll a Mesmerist, take the Psychic Inception ability, then seek out the Tarrasque and spam major mind swap on it until he became the Tarrasque.

When I was in university, I used the Sonic drowning music as my alarm during exams. I was never late. I think you’d also appreciate that my normal ringtone for years was Sonic dropping his rings, which sounds like a normal phone ring to people who don’t know it.

I think Eva would be the DM. She would half expect her party to derail the plot, though, and would always make a bunch of NPCs to try and and get them back on track.

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I’m worried about Eva’s in game build though, due to her focus on fire and earth magic will she have enough healing spells to solo tank should we face a threat greater then the first boss? and i’m sorry but with the kids growth stats I don’t think they will pull their weight.

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Hey, I’m still doing this LP I have just had so much going on in my life that I haven’t had the time to sit down and do an update. But I’m gonna try to get back to regularish (weekly or biweekly updates) here soon.

I just wanted to bump this to let everyone know this is, in fact, still happening and also…

I’m going to try, try, to update this on Tuesday. I’m also going to fix some old posts as @TrenWolfman hooked me up with a sprite sheet forever ago.

I promise I will finish this LP.

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I lied I’m updating today and I might also update Tuesday (60% chance!)

Episode Five: Edge of Tomorrow

(Theme: Uncharted Realms)

: “Disable speech for all except Johnny.”

: “Done, let’s get 'im.”

[While inside the memories there’s this cool distortion/rolling static effect on the screen.]

[K: It’s also in sepia tone.
J: That is how one knows they’re in the past. But actually the color fades in and out.
You can also see that the pictures in the bottom left are blank, we haven’t jumped that far back so that means they’re fairly recent.]

[Here’s a gif of the color phasing effect because it’s really cool, a lot of work went into this game which is currently on sale for $2 on Steam and you should buy it.]

[But enough dawdling, we should head up to the lighthouse.]

(Theme: Having Lived)
: “Yes, John.”

: “…I suppose I had a good run.”

: “Not good enough, it seems.”

: “So, can you do it?”

: “Can you take me to the moon?”

: “We can’t, but you might be able to.”

: “Why do you want to go there?”

: “I don’t know.”

: “It’s fine, you can tell us. It’s essential for helping us to get you to go there.”

: “Do you want the fame? The money?”

: “You’ve got to have a motive.”

: “I’m sorry, but I really don’t know.”

: “I just…do.”

: “Nevertheless, Johnny, here’s what we will do…”
(Theme: Uncharted Realms)
: “We need to get to your childhood, but it is too distant to do so in one memory hop.”

: “Thus, we will need to traverse through your memories with gradual backward leaps.”

: “Which you’ve given us permission to do in the relative future.”

: “Once we lay down the waypoints in your childhood memories for direct access, we will return here.”

: “That’s when you’ll need to help us influence the childhood you to become an astronaut.”

: “…Or get on a giant catapult.”

: “The point is, you’ll need to have more to say than just ‘I don’t know’.”

: “As long as you can take me to the moon, I will cooperate in any way possible.”

: “Good.”

: “We’ll need to prepare this memento first…”

[Preparing the memento requires doing a kind of sliding puzzle that I’m not the best at.]

[Go me.]

(Music stops here and is replaced by the wind and surf sound effects I’m still too lazy to record.)

: “Wait, what about my privacy?”

: “We’ll try not to violate what we can avoid.”

: “But in most cases…It can’t be helped.”

(Theme: A distorted version of For River that isn’t on the soundtrack and that I’ll record and edit in later. Then it segues back into Uncharted Realms.)
[That’s all for this update, my apologies if it’s a little short. See you next time when we start Quantum Leaping all up in Johnny’s memories. It’s all in a days work!]

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Episode Six: Lost and Found

(Theme: Uncharted Realms)

[So, how this works, we wander around the home and find important objects which will give us memory fragments so we can access the memento and continue jumping backwards through Johnny’s past.]

[Investigating the clock nets us another memory fragment and a note about it…I should really update that portion of the OP. I’ll do it after this update.]

[The umbrella here is the memento we need, it’s shielded so we have to find the rest of the memories first.]

[When we get upstairs the memory shifts.]

[The next memory is these wildflowers.]

: “Don’t tempt me.”

[The backpack is not a memory but we get dialog.]

: “What is this, a million years old?”

: “I guess we’ll find out.”

[Here’s the next one.]

[The last one is the jar in the upper right part of the room.]

[Delicious and ugh I didn’t manually crop it right, I’ll fix it later. I need to learn how to use irfanview.]

: “Peh, I hate this stuff.”

: “What’s to hate? It’s pickled olive!”

: “…Exactly.”
[With all the memory shards we can now bust down that barrier and leap through the umbrella, like so.]

[Did this one slow for you all and definitely didn’t get confused for a moment.]

: “I don’t mind it regardless.”

: “Seems like these memory hops only span a short period of time…”

: “We need to find a leaping memento or it’s going to take forever.”

: “Meh, just enjoy the scenery.”
[New memory new shards to collect let’s get started.]

(Theme: Silence)

[Johnny has such a strong connection to this stuffed platypus that it actually gives us two memory shards.]

: “Honestly, I just don’t think this animal has the right to exist.”

: “The world’s not big enough for two of you.”

[We could check out the lighthouse but…]

[No dice, also I screwed up this screenshot too. Only the highest quality LPs from Jenner.]

[The third shard is this gravestone.]

(Theme: Moonwisher)

: “Like you, I’ll be able to watch over her every day.”

: “…She won’t be alone anymore.”
[The screen pans up, Johnny closes and reopens his eyes.]

: “I might never understand why but I stayed true to your wish.”

: “I’m sure Anya is grateful to you, too.”

[Johnny closes his eyes]

: “But when I’m gone…”

: “…Who is going to watch over us?”

[We get a note on Anya once we fade into the lighthouse]

[Time to climb the stairs again.]

: “What were you doing?”

: “Enjoying the scenery, what else?”
[Eva looks around]

: “Any luck here?”

[Neil walks away and looks towards the lighthouse light]
: “Big luck. Huge. Dinosauric.”

[Eva approaches him a few paces and looks out the southern window]
: “Huh, this place looks pretty empty.”

: “It’s a lighthouse. What do you expect?”

[Neil approaches the stuffed platypus and speaks.]
: “Anyway, I’ll catch you on the other side. Have fun breaking the barrier for yourself.”
[Neil leaps through the memento and leaves Eva to herself.]

[Next shard is the light, which is broken and leads into…]

[This memory of Johnny crying in the lighthouse, which is our final shard. Let’s blast this puzzle!]

(Theme: Lament of a Stranger but less sinister.)

: “Just enough.”

: “After we pay for your operation we’ll have just enough left for it… So don’t you worry.”

: “…White lie.”

: “That’s what you call it, right?”

: “No, I’m sure we can jus–”

: “Stop it.”

: “…I don’t like it when you lie.”

: “I calculated our finances, I know how it’s like.”

: “Why do you try to convince me against my will?”

: “We need the money for your medical bills, River!”

: “I understand that Anya means a lot to you but this… This is just too much.”

: “I mean, she-…She isn’t even–”

: “Do you know what makes me happy, Johnny?”

: “…What?”

: “Do you?”

: “Well, I do.”

: “I just…hope you can help me with it.”

: “River…”

: “When the papers for my treatment get here I will not sign them.”

: “What you do with our money is up to you,”

: “But if you would grant my wish, I want you to use it to finish building that house.”

: “…And then for every day you live there I want you to watch over her.”

: “Visit her. Speak to her. Comfort her.”

: “…I don’t want her to be alone anymore.”

: “And what about you?”

: “…Happy.”

: “I’ll be happy.”

[Johnny starts playing the piano, it’s For River (Johnny’s Version) Neil approaches Eva.]

: “Who is this ‘Anya’ they were talking about?”

: “If she’s so important, shouldn’t we have seen her in his late memories?”

: “I guess he didn’t keep that promise after all.”

: “Unless…”

: “Unless what?”

: “Nevermind.”

: “Hey, that’s the same song the kids were playing earlier, huh?”

: “I guess he taught them.”

: “Y’know what, I’m too manly for this. I’m heading on.”

: “I already got my memory links; you wanna hitch a ride or look around yourself?”

[Of course we’re staying and exploring.]

: “Go on ahead, I’ll catch up with you.”

: “Don’t you miss the days when memory-audio-to-MP8 conversion was legal?”

: “I think I brought home over two thousand songs during my first year on this job.”

[Neil fades out, leaving us to our own devices. Which we’ll get to next time! See you then! (Hopefully it won’t take me a solid month to update either!)]


Gonna learn how to use an image editing program tomorrow from @heyboots and then edit this post to be an update.

Additionally learning how to use this program should make updating this less of an ordeal and ideally speed up updates to more than once a month!