Like I said before, my villains are terrible. LET’S KILL A LICH:
Hey we forgot to post in either of our threads that we were streaming yesterday but we streamed yesterday and I since I am abnormally proud of last night’s session I am taking the time to remind all our fan of our companion thread We Stream Games! where I post much of our non-D&D content. It’s the holiday season, treat yourself by binging our good content! I definitely recommend the Carpet People Saga, our DBZ game, and the Honey Heist session we played yesterday!
As always, thank you for watching and supporting our nonsense and don’t be afraid to post in these threads! Tune in next week for:
-Sad NPCs!
-Epic Dragon battle!
-Romantic dates!
-EGGS!
I love tactics too much, if the thing the enemy would do is fuck me up I will always suggest it
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I appreciate Jeff helping me not suck at encounters and look forward to getting better about running them in the future! Anyway, it’s Tuesday and people actually interacted with, and read, terrible stuff I wrote. I’m dying.
I promised I would post a lot of the writing I did for this episode but there’s actually a bit more writing I’ve done that’ll show up NEXT episode so I’ll add the content ya’ll desire to THAT update next week.
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Aaaaaa I forgot to upload yesterday, I’m sorry! I’m usually pretty good about uploading on time too. I was just SO TIRED. To be honest, I am still extremely tired but I’m doing it.
I already say it in the video but for those of you who have watched our sessions and continue to watch our sessions, thank you very much from the bottom of my heart! I know these sessions are very long and finding over two hours in a day is a luxury for many people so the fact that ya’ll make the time to listen/watch our antics means a whole lot to me. <3
Session Fifteen: Oops All Roleplay
I also promised I’d share a bunch of the writing I did for these past few sessions so I’m gonna do that. I’m also going to talk a bit about how I went about writing these things and give y’all some insight into the NPCs we all know and love. Here we go:
Arram: The crew and I have talked openly about how there is an NPC like Arram in every game I’ve ever run. Usually that NPC is Ark, in this game it is Arram. But, while all these Wholesome Pure Good Boys are extremely similar to one another they don’t all have the same back story. When I am writing dialog for a character I feel I have an obligation to be as true to that character as I can. It didn’t feel right to just write as myself and staying in character in all this dialog was very challenging because there was a lot that I, the creator, wanted to say as and tell about the character but my characters only have so much ability to express these things. (I also have to be mindful of my players and make sure they get the spotlight too!) Anyway, Arram is a dense but well-meaning boy who comes from a poor and shitty family. That’s what I had in my heart as I wrote his dialog.
Arram dialog
Arram: Tomorrow is the big day but what’s really on my mind right now is trying to find the exact moment we started dating so that we can celebrate our anniversary after you kick this army’s ass.
Arram: I think it was when you slipped me the note in the cultist base. I don’t know if fighting a massive army for our survival is what I would call the ideal way to commemorate almost a month of extremely dating but I’m in no position to really alter the situation so I guess I’ll take it.
====
Arram: Every once in awhile I think about just how lucky I’ve been in my life. [Laughter] I absolutely failed my way through everything. I just had to keep trying, you know? I didn’t think I could really rely on anyone but myself. It’s kind of expected of people to make it on their own even though it’s unrealistic. So I had convinced myself that nobody was gonna save me but me. Then you and your friends showed up and kicked my ass and you just kept showing up and rescuing me and it’s just like, not only could I not save me but I needed to be saved from me.
It’s a lot, actually. Thank you.
====
Arram: I look back on all the shit I lived through to get here and I’m just like, wow, how did I even do that? And it occurs to me that months after today I’ll be looking back on now with the same awe and wonder but I hope, once all the dust is settled, that we can make a future where nobody has to be amazed by how they survived because you and your friends made survival easy.
I hope I’m not pressuring you or being too presumptuous but I would like to be part of making that future with you.
====
Arram: Since it was a red dragon that came in and fucked everything up the folks who are rightfully not big fans of the greedy tyrant dragon have been pretty intolerant of red dragonborn even though we have nothing to do with it.
But it’s just like, fine, they can’t exactly take out their anger on the red dragon, she’s a red dragon for god’s sake, so they may as well take their anger out on me. Maybe it helps them deal with their hardships better to treat me like shit and if that’s the case than it’s worth it because I just want to make people feel better.
====
Arram: Is it arrogant to think that Eon intervened in my life and brought me to you? I genuinely feel like I experienced a miracle. It’s kinda hard to not believe in the gods when there are clerics and paladins calling on their power on a regular basis. But even though I acknowledge the existence of the gods I was never under the illusion that they gave a shit about me. I didn’t feel like I owed them anything. I’ve had to unpack a lot with this revelation that Eon did care about me and was looking out for me even though I didn’t know they existed.
I’ve always been really good at compartmentalizing stuff, you kind of have to be when your family beats you all the time, so I’m usually able to just handle this kind of stuff.
But I don’t know what to do about being cared about, by you or by Eon. I don’t know how to be good enough for either of you. And I don’t know how to believe in something.
Urist: Urist was a bit of a delightful surprise for me! I didn’t know about Urist, Breadmaster just kinda dumped her on me out of the blue one session. But I’ll die before I have an NPC in my game that doesn’t have their own lives and drives. Breadmaster didn’t tell me much of what he wanted or expected out of Urist and I’d like to believe he just trusted me to make a good NPC because we’ve kind of established that relationship. In writing Urist I took a lot of guidance from how Breadmaster had been playing Lenox to date and thought to myself what kind of person would fall in love with, marry, and procreate with someone like Lenox. They’d have to be a very stubborn, strong-willed, and independent person who is incredibly down to earth and just generally chill. I created Urist with the assumption that Lenox was always this pragmatic grump with loose morals, his wife had to be the kind of person who would find such a personality appealing and charming. In writing Urist, what I had most in my heart was making sure I conveyed a person who had a lot of respect, love, and esteem for her spouse.
Urist dialog
Urist: The thieves guild got our daughter out of the town, she’s being taken to my sister’s in the Mountainhome. I could have left too, and I bet you would have preferred that but let’s be honest our entire relationship is built off the foundation of me not doing what you prefer and it’s not changing now.
Urist: Us dwarves pretty much marry for life, you know. Our spouses can become were-creatures, vampires, go insane, become war criminals, get so injured in battle that they can’t even function any more and we other halves stick with them. There’s a very real chance that you could die tomorrow. All I want is to be as close to at your side as I can be.
====
Urist: When you started this whole mercenary nonsense I was fine with it because we needed the money and I have accepted my empty nest. House to myself sounds about nice. I can fill it full of crafts and engravings! But, y’know, we’re living under a dictatorship so I just assumed you’d be hired into the Red Dragon army and do some war crimes and come home all traumatized forever.
But look at you, my accidental husband joining up with the good guys. I bet they hate you.
====
Urist: Y’know I’m not sure you’re any happier now, as a renowned liberator, than you were as a grad student when we met all those years ago. I always kinda just wanted you to be happy, though I knew I wasn’t responsible for your feelings and couldn’t make you happy. At this point you’ll definitely get tenure and the city won’t be a miserable hell pit to boot. You humans only live, what 80 years max? And I don’t even remember your age but I hope we have at least 70 more years together because I’m not ready to give up on seeing you happy yet.
Mimolette: Mimolette is especially difficult to write because I actually got to play her as a PC which means I already had a very silly character in mind for her. Additionally, I have never had a positive relationship with a blood sibling and do not have much of an idea of how to portray one. Mimolette loves her sister and would die for her. She is extremely protective of Brie and just wants her to be happy but doesn’t actually know what Brie wants. Mimolette is extremely cavalier and likes to go with the flow. In writing Mimolette I tried to channel the energy of a best friend I hadn’t seen in a few years but was able to just pick up the relationship where we left off with.
Mimolette dialog
Mim: Sis, I gotta fight with the Fae army so we’re gonna have to part ways again. I don’t think I’ve ever been really good at this kind of thing but I know I ain’t dying and you ain’t allowed to die either. When this is all over, I’ll go back to bringing you weird wilderness ingredients to experiment with, just like old times.
Also you should probably meet my satyr boyfriend.
====
Mimolette: Brie I just want you to know that I’m really glad a wicked fae creature tried to kidnap me and swap me out with you but was foiled because you’re the best sister ever. I thought, when I set off to find your real parents, that I was doing it for you but I realize now that I was doing it for me because I wanted to prove my family was better and that we deserved you.
====
Mim: Mom told us there is no bond closer than twins but we’ve also now fought in a war together and I’d just like to take this moment to declare us ultra bonded.
Shae: It should come as no surprise to anyone but I like Shae a lot. Shae is actually the first NPC I came up with. The moment Loaka revealed Amnon’s backstory to me on character creation I created Shae. Shae is surprisingly easy to write for! She’s a person who desperately wants to be good and to have a family who just so happens to be stuck in a family that is absolutely terrible. Shae is an expression of my belief that it is the family you create for yourself, not the one you are born into, that matters. A lot of times, when a person becomes a mother, society kinda stops seeing them as a person and starts seeing them as a just a mom. I’m not sure how successful I’ve been in this regard but one of my objectives with Shae was to make sure that I acknowledged that yes, she is a mother, but she is also a person outside of that. Shae is a neurotic lesbian who cares too much about other people and not enough about herself.
Shae dialog
Shae: Wait, Marigold before you go. I have something for you.
[[Hands a letter]]
I tried to think of some appropriate parting gift and settled on this. Don’t open it, it’s bad luck!
[[She grins]]
It’s a victory speech, for when you win. It was the best way I could come up to show you how much I believe in you. In the story books, heroes are always just prepared for this stuff and can whip up an amazing speech out of nowhere and I don’t doubt your ability to improvise so this gift is more symbolic than anything. I hope that, from the moment you carry this into battle to the moment when you read this in the aftermath and are overwhelmed by how absolutely awful it is that you will know that I will do everything in my power to meet you on the other side of this. After all, I wouldn’t want to miss our date.
====
Shae: Before meeting your group I didn’t even know Vikulg and Alvoni existed. But I did witness the effects of their efforts on this hell town. Families suddenly having enough to bail out their relatives, rumors of sick people or families with ill members getting medicine, in winter–guh it’s almost winter now-- families would find piles of wood stacked up by their doors so they could stay warm all season. It’s nice to finally meet the people who were behind all that.
While you and your group were out for that week and a half, blowing up drugs and casually starting peasant uprisings, Vikulg, Alvoni and I spent a lot of time together. And the pair of them just seemed so impressed with me for going into the slums every day and adopting Lilah. But, like, that’s nothing compared to everything they’ve done. It’s nothing compared to everything you’ve done. And honestly what was I supposed to do, let her die? Absolutely not.
I think about all the ways things are just getting so fucked and I see Vikulg fighting, I see Alvoni fighting, and I see you and your group fighting and it makes me want to fight too.
You make me want to be a better person, and I recognize that you’re more than that and that you’re not mine to lose.
But I don’t want to lose that. So try not to die I guess?
Esme: Let’s be honest, Esme is my favorite NPC and it shows. I think she has the most dialog and development out of all my NPCs. I think if I had any regrets it is that I really don’t give all my NPCs the amount of TLC they definitely deserve because they’re all really good! But, they’re also NPCs, and a tabletop campaign is about the story of the Player Characters, not the NPCs. If I wanted to just tell the story of a bunch of NPCs I would write a book. (By the way, I wrote a book.) ANYWAY, Esme has gone through a lot of shit in her life but she is a simple woman with simple needs. Esme’s whole character is established pretty well in her dialog. She’s a laid back sex positive gal who feels guilty for not being selfless and for being born with privilege. She wasn’t prepared for the life she chose and she’s handling it poorly.
Esme dialog
Esme, via a sending: On the way to Calimshan we had to cut through territory the army now marching on the gates of Almraiven passed through. We happened upon a village that had been utterly devastated by them. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the smell of dead bodies. Thinking of you, fighting for my home and your home too, while I’m here safe…ish and hoping you not only survive, but that you don’t get hurt in ways I can’t mend. Thanks for the sex, stay alive.
====
Esme: [Wearily]
So on the way to Calimshan to destroy the phylactery that allowed my horrible lich fiance to live forever it occurred to me that I kinda sent my lover out to kill my fiance and wow, how noble of me.
And I mean that both ways as in sarcastically condemning my virtue of nobility but also tacitly acknowledging my behavior as profoundly noble in act because that’s just how we are, isn’t it?
No wonder they want to kill us all.
I’m not including you in this ‘us’ by the way. You’re the solution to a problem we’ve been creating for generations. And I never would have learned this if I hadn’t told my family to go fuck themselves and taken to adventuring. I would be sitting in the noble quarter right now, with the rest of them, blaming the poors for the hardships and problems we created for them.
Part of me thinks that even though I know better now I maybe shouldn’t be spared. Justice should fall evenly on all criminals and it shouldn’t pass harmlessly over me just because I’m fucking one of the people behind the liberation.
====
Esme: Almraiven will have it’s revolution and I sincerely hope the people get what they deserve. And, so long as I choose to make a life here, I’ll have to find a new social role to fill because the people have made it clear that Almraiven is no place for the bourgeois.
But I gotta be honest, even though I’m a cleric of Lathander and I’ve done a lot of helping people, and it feels good, I don’t think I’m a particularly altruistic person. I started adventuring because I wanted to meet buff adventurers, men and women, with huge biceps and well-defined abs who could utterly destroy me at any moment not because I wanted to make the world a better place.
I guess I could heal the sick and injured and I guess that would suit me just fine but that’s not what I want to do and I just don’t think I’m a good person.
When you have the gift of healing you’re supposed to be selfless and want that stuff. You’re supposed to live for that shit. And I don’t and I’m not sure I ever will.
Before I joined up with Daein and the rest I adventured briefly with another group and one of the members told me she really only started adventuring because it meant she could kill people without consequence. She said that nobody cared if you killed people if you killed the right people and adventuring has a steady supply of right people to kill. And I have to be honest, I felt that.
Not everyone who is doing the right thing is doing it for the right reasons. Though I honestly see nothing immoral about me wanting to fuck buff hotties.
When all is said and done, what will you do?
====
Esme: You’re gonna be in history books, Amnon, even after you die people will probably know who you are for a long time. But one or two generations after I die I’ll be forgotten and that’s how I want it to be.
It’s kind of comforting to know that I was never remarkable enough to go down in history. That all the terrible things I’ve done over my life, that I obsess and beat myself up over on a regular basis, will simply be forgotten, will be washed away by time. My tombstone simply reading: “Here lies Esme Utmir, she loved to fuck.” [Laughs]
====
Esme: Hahahaha, I was wrong! I thought I survived all the trauma but actually it fundamentally changed me and how my brain works and I’m not the person I was before all the bullshit and that person I was is gone and never coming back and bahahaha I died bitch!
Events: I also wrote out the two main events in these sessions, The Victory Speech and Time to Be a Mom. It occurs to me that both these events are Shae centric, as one event is something written by Shae, and the other is an event that prominently features Shae. Maybe I don’t neglect her as much as I think I do? Look, folks, when Shae isn’t in the scene everyone should be asking, “Where’s Shae?” ok? ANYWAY, I GOTTA TALK ABOUT THESE NOW. I tweeted about this but I doubt any of you follow my Twitter so I’ll just repeat it here: I unironically believe that the speech in the movie Independence Day is the single greatest speech of all time. EVERY TIME I have had to write a speech for anything (and it’s actually come up a few times in my life) I refer to the Speech from Independence Day as my guide and IT HAS NEVER STEERED ME WRONG. So I listened to and read this speech about a dozen times while writing this victory speech, and then I made it as Shae as I could. I think it’s very important that I impress upon you all that until all this stuff I wrote started being interacted with sincerely I thought it was amazing and very good writing and was very proud of it. But the moment it became a Real Thing that Real People were going to experience and interact with I kinda died a little. So yeah, when Breadmaster read this speech out loud I may have put my face in my hands and wished for death the entire time.
The Victory Speech
People of Almraiven and allies all, the moment we are all sharing now is one we made together. But this moment, this crucial victory, did not come without a price. It was built upon the hardship, the suffering, and the very bones of generations of our ancestors who toiled to lay the foundation for us to build this future.
Our beloved town can be rebuilt, our farms replanted, but those who fell before us, including those who fell today, cannot be replaced, and their sacrifices are a part of the architecture of our victory today. We would do well to honor them and and their families. For while we all will be building a better world for everyone together they are the ones who will have to go home to empty beds, and empty seats at the table, and convince themselves that it was worth it. Let us build a society where it was worth it but also where it will never be necessary again.
This is not the end. There is more to be done. But let the world know that wherever there is a tyrant there will be people who will fight with all they have to depose them.
I know that I, and my friends, will be lauded as heroes, saviors, for what we have accomplished from our adventuring but all of you who fought today weren’t saved by us, you saved yourselves. And it doesn’t have to stop here, you can keep saving yourselves.
We are going to kill the red dragon, we are going to redistribute her wealth to the rebuilding efforts and to the needy, and we are going to drag this city into a new, better, future that we will be proud to leave behind for our heirs. And you were a part of it. And nobody can take that away from you.
Time to Be a Mom: Loaka: I love being sad. Me: Have I got a treat for you!
Time to Be a Mom is the only event I didn’t write up in the Discord because I didn’t want my players accidentally reading it and spoiling it. I am very proud of Time to Be a Mom, but I was shaking and tearing up in real life while reading it and that lead me to overscrolling and botching the delivery a bit. In Time to Be a Mom, Shae makes the ultimate sacrifice, betraying Lilah and turning her over to the Thieves Guild to ensure that she lives should the worst come to pass. I had, up until this moment, already established Shae as the Ultimate Mom but in this moment Shae truly makes the Ultimate Mom Choice. #ShaeDidNothingWrong
Time to Be a Mom
Scene, the afternoon of the Final Day before the invasion. Shae is speaking to the leader of the Thieves Guild. (The Thieves Guild has been, up to this point, helping children, the elderly, and others unable to fight out of Almraiven.)
Shae: To be honest, I should have done this sooner. I shouldn’t have humored her. But she wanted to help and I wanted to spend every last moment I could with her. I should have been a better mother.
Guildmaster: You have done all the things that you have done up to this point because you are a good person and you are doing what you’re doing now because you’re a good mother. What you ask of us… it will be done.
[[Later]]
As the day ebs towards night Shae tells Lilah that she’s taking her to a small army made up of young people like her who have been organized by Pelagia. Lilah looks both excited and a little scared and asks her mother, “You’re not going to fight with me?”
Shae, fighting back tears: Oh no, I will. I will be fighting with you. We’ll all be fighting with you. Mommy just has to be in the adult army.
Lilah seems happy with that answer and walks with her mother. As they move closer and closer to the slums the homes around them with their windows boarded up and entryways barricaded Shae’s hand around Lilah’s hand tightens and she starts losing her fight against tears.
Lilah, completely earnest: It’s okay, mommy. Cousin Amnon and Marigold are gonna win.
Shae smiles a fractured smile that does not reach her eyes.
They get to the old well in the slums, long since dried up, and Lilah finds not an army of children awaiting her but a small group of cloaked thieves milling anxiously about.
Lilah: Mommy, what’s going on?
Shae, tearfully shoving Lilah into the hands of the thieves: Take her, quickly!
The thieves grasp Lilah and have to physically tear her away from Shae as Lilah is holding onto her with all her might.
Lilah: Mom! No!
Shae, choking on tears: You’ll forgive me one day.
Lilah, as she is being pulled away: Mom! You promised us we’d fight together.
Shae, watching with anguish, she doesn’t want Lilah’s last memory of her to be of her walking away: Lilah before I found you I wasn’t sure I wanted to become a mother. Now I know that becoming a mother was the best thing I ever did in my life. If something should happen to me in this war, they will take care of you and find you a new family. It is the best thing I can do for you as your mother and one day I hope you’ll understand.
Lilah: I DON’T WANT ANOTHER FAMILY, I WANT YOU!
Shae: I want you too, and I will always want you. But I have to be a mother now. I love you.
Lilah, screaming, protesting, and crying, is pulled into the sewers by the thieves of the thieves guild. As the sun descends upon Almraiven, Shae walks alone, not to the burned out church that has become her home, but to join a small army of grad students, bards, sex workers, and people of all walks of life who have mustered with all the equipment Vikulg and the party could provide them. Standing amongst this citizens army, ready to fight and, if necessary, die in defense of her home Shae can’t remember a time when she has felt so alone.
End scene.
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It’s Tuesday, Hbomberguy raised over 340k for Mermaids (a trans youth charity), and I’m updating on time. Tell your friends.
I think one of the hardest things about this LP, with the exception of coming up with session ideas, is coming up with episode titles.
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Never have I been so vexed by good rolls.
I’m sorry I forgot to update on time again, I’m tired and I’ve been busy learning twine and making twines. Anyway here’s last week’s session, it’s mostly downtime.
Session Eighteen: Social Media
I had plans to also add some additional text-based content for all the great NPCs in our game regarding what they’re up to when they’re not interacting with the PCs but I haven’t written enough content for that yet so look forward to another post from me in the coming weeks where I do that.
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Stream time! This probably isn’t the finale, but we are fighting a big dragon.
the judgement sections in dragon age inquisition were very entertaining. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbSA9TqjUn8 That aside, since you guys managed to kill the nephew of the red dragon, it might take the PC’s seriously as threats. Kind of hope that the red dragon sounds like the dragon from Dragon’s dogma.
TEXT ONLY UPDATE
The NPCs we know and love have lives and routines, they exist outside their interactions with our Player Characters. If you’ve ever been curious about what your favorite NPC has been up to then this is the LP update for you! It would be a massive undertaking to elaborate in detail every moment of every NPC’s life from birth to present and I am not doing that. Below is just a taste of the kind of antics our NPCs get into, it details some of their interactions with each other during the week-long period of downtime.
The first event happens shortly after Marigold has informed Shae of her mother’s death and left. It Features Shae and Esme.
Reciprocal Caring
Esme: So… how do you feel?
Shae: Come here to rub it in?
Esme: [Softly] Never. You cared about me and I guess I’m all about that reciprocity now. Surprise, I’m here to care about you.
Shae: [Sullenly] I didn’t comfort you as some kind of favor or with any expectations of repayment. You don’t owe me anything.
Esme: It’s not about debt or whatever, we’re friends now bitch and friends are there for each other. What I’m trying to say is I’m totally willing to sit here and talk about everything but what you need to talk about until your date with Marigold.
Shae: I didn’t even know what to say to her. I still don’t know what to say to her. I’m not exactly mad at her, but I’m not not mad either. I don’t want her to regret it. I don’t want her to feel bad. I don’t want her to think she’s a monster or that I don’t like her now. Because I do like her, I like her a lot. I don’t want to put any pressure on her, and if things don’t work out between she and I I’m sure I’ll live… but I don’t even have the words for how badly I want this to work.
Esme: I would just go for it, y’know? Just be like, “We fucking or what?”
Shae: Goooooooooood
Esme: We can get our pay from Vikulg and go over to Sophie’s Exotic Attire…
Shae: Esme please.
Esme: Get you some sexy lingerie. May have to add our own tail hole because I’m not sure about her Tiefling selection.
Shae: Esme no.
Esme: Get you one of those dresses that you can just shrug out of, “Oh whoops, Marigold, I appear to have lost my clothes and also I am in sexy lingerie how clumsy of me.”
Shae: [Agonized] Esme, I’m dying.
Esme: [Small smile] I didn’t really have a close relationship with my family, but it was fine. We were civil, we mostly got along, things got a bit weird and strained when they tried to go forward with my childhood engagement to Diedrich. That’s when I told them to fuck off and that I was gonna go adventuring. The smug look on my father’s face when he told me I’d be back? That’s the last time I spoke to him, that will be my last memory of him. When I heard, I didn’t even believe it. [She sighs] And I wasn’t really in a position to really process it because I was on a mission of Alvoni’s. By the time I got some downtime, it was too late. But…it was a lot of loss, it was my entire family-- from my distant little cousins to my own parents-- gone in an instant. And what am I supposed to do? Avenge them? The storybooks all say when this happens you’re supposed to swear vengeance and seek out vigilante justice but… I don’t know who killed them exactly and I don’t want revenge.
Shae: I don’t want revenge either. I think even if the woman I cared about wasn’t involved I wouldn’t want revenge. [Wryly] Maybe we shouldn’t be taking our cue for what to do about things from story books.
Esme: Maybe. But I’ve gotten a lot of tips from erotica that have really enriched my life.
Shae: I’m happy for you. How do you feel now?
Esme: I’ve had a whole week to process it, Shae.
Shae: Such a luxury.
Esme: [Laughing] I know, right? Right now I just… Shae I’m tired and I feel like shit.
Shae: [Pats beside her on the bed.]
Esme: [Settles in and leans against her] Why are Tieflings so tall?
Shae: It’s the horns, they add a few inches.
Esme: [Quietly] So, how do you feel?
Shae: I don’t really have time to feel anything. In a few hours I have to drop Lilah off with Alvoni and meet up with Marigold and after that I have to teach Vikulg economics and then pick Lilah up and put her to bed and then maybe, just maybe, I’ll have time to feel anything about it.
Esme: By then it’ll be too late.
Shae: I guess, like you, I’ll just bottle it up away somewhere and just go about my life as best I can.
Esme: Extremely healthy choices.
Shae: [Sighs] Yeah…
Esme: Tomorrow, let’s you, Lilah, Arram and I have brunch.
Shae: Why?
Esme: Because we’re friends and you need a distraction.
Shae: …Maybe I just need time to myself.
Esme: Well, if that’s what you need then don’t let me stop you. But Arram and I will be having brunch at the Halfling place in the market district if you change your mind.
Shae: Thanks.
Esme: What are your plans for the date?
Shae: I’m gonna pack us a basket of food and we’re gonna have a picnic at the park. I’m not sure what to ask her, I just want her to tell me about herself. Her past, her likes, her goals and drives. I want to discover more things to like about her.
Esme: Well, I know she likes you. She wouldn’t be pursuing you or bothering with this if she didn’t like you.
Shae: [Standing] Thanks. I better get to packing that picnic basket.
Esme: Yup. [Heading out] Shae… unsolicited advice but you should be more honest to yourself about what your feelings are and tell Marigold how you feel about her.
Shae: Is that what you do for Amnon?
Esme: [Tense expression] Maybe I should.
Shae: Take care, Esme.
Esme: Take care, Shae.
The next event happens on the same day, sometime around when Pelagia usually comes home for lunch. It features Arram, Styx, and Dela an NPC who hasn’t been name dropped in the campaign but has appeared. (She’s the lady who used the Blue Eyes White Dragon in the card game.)
Breaking Cycles
Elder Lady: He’s lurking about again.
Arram, in an apron, baking: Let him lurk.
Elder: It’s cold out there.
Arram: He can breathe fire.
Elder: I just–
Arram: [Sucks in a breath] Look, Dela, I know you mean well but this situation is much more complicated than the little spats you resolve with your grandchildren, ok?
Dela: He’s the only family you have.
Arram: That’s incorrect. Shae told me I can make my own family.
Dela: …She’s not wrong.
Arram: I’m not wrong either.
Dela: You’ve changed.
Arram: Is it good?
Dela: It’s not bad.
Arram: I’m always worried about being bad. Things aren’t always black and white and I’m at this impasse now where I have multiple decisions I could make, many of them objectively right, but some of them are in conflict with each other. What choice do you make when all the right choices don’t align?
Styx, walking in: I’d make the choice that feels the best.
Arram: [Pleased to see him] Styx, what a genuine delight.
Styx: Likewise.
Dela: I guess I’ll go. Arram you’re a good boy, if you’re going to make this choice [gesturing towards the outside where Lukas fumes] you should probably do your best to get closure.
Arram: Perhaps. Thank you, Dela.
Dela: [Heads out]
Styx: So… you’re worried about being a bad guy.
Arram: You’re the one who told me to do this, told me it was the right thing to do, it feels cruel. It feels like I’m doing the wrong thing-- that I’m hurting him.
Styx: Yeah, that’s the abuse conditioning. You’ve spent all your life protecting him and taking care of him and it feels wrong to not be doing that. It’s not gonna be easy. It is gonna hurt. But this is better for you in the long run, you need to liberate yourself from him. And Pelagia would agree with me.
Arram: Would she?
Styx: Absolutely.
Arram: I don’t feel like a good person, doing this.
Styx: Mmhmm, and that’s what tells me, and what should inform you, that you are a good person.
Arram: How so?
Styx: [Shrugging] It’s simple. Bad people don’t worry about whether or not they’re good.
Arram: Do you worry about whether or not you’re good?
Styx: Ha! It’s too late for me. I’m a Bad Guy.
Arram: Nonsense. Most of the bad things you did you did under duress.
Styx: But I did still do them. The gaes does not excuse me. I’m still responsible for those actions.
Arram: But did you enjoy them?
Styx: You think bad people do bad things because they enjoy them? Because it makes them feel good?
Arram: Is that incorrect?
Styx: It’s more complicated than that. Sometimes bad people do bad things because, like me, they don’t really have a choice. Or, like Lukas, they don’t know what a good thing is. Sometimes they do it because it’s the best choice for them. Sometimes you gotta make the wrong decision to get the right outcome. Stuff like that.
Arram: Is that what I’m doing? Making the wrong decision for the right outcome?
Styx: Nah, you’re doing the right thing. But me? Heh… I don’t even know what to do with myself.
Arram: Do what makes you feel good.
Styx: … I don’t even know what that is anymore.
Arram: I think what would make you feel happy is forgiving yourself. Moreover, I think that when people do bad things because they don’t have a choice that they’re not bad. The people, that is, the things they did are still bad.
Styx: So simplistic. Arram I hurt people and just because I didn’t exactly have control over myself when I hurt them doesn’t mean they weren’t hurt. It doesn’t entitle me to forgiveness.
Arram: I’m hurting Lukas.
Styx: That’s different, he hurt you.
Arram: Maybe the cycle of hurting should end with me.
Styx: Great! It’ll continue with him. Don’t enable him.
Arram: …
Styx: This is what ending the cycle of abuse looks like, what it feels like. It dies with you.
Arram: It would die with me if I kept him in my life too.
Styx: Hmm, but then he’d still be hurting you. That’s not how ending works.
Arram: So, when do you end your own cycle of abuse?
Styx: What do you mean?
Arram: When do you stop hurting yourself? Stop punishing yourself?
Styx: …
Arram: [Checking the cooking] You make all these grand statements about how you can’t be excused. About how wrong and bad you are and how much you suck. But in doing that, in just taking ownership in being bad you are excusing yourself. You’re bad and you suck so why work on it? Rather than just flagellating yourself and doing all this performative pentinence, which I’m sure is very healthy and fun, you could take actual ownership and start making personal growth and improvement. But, hey, I get it. Staying in a shitty situation is easier.
Styx: Pelagia’s been a good influence. “The way one shows true remorse is not through apology but through changed behavior.”
Arram: If you wanna feel good about yourself again, you need to forgive yourself. And if you can’t forgive yourself you need to do things that will allow you to forgive yourself. Start by helping the city. Do good things, even if it feels fake, even if it doesn’t feel good. Just keep doing them. Eventually it’ll become a behavior.
Lukas, shouting through the window: You are letting that wench destroy our family, Arram! And for what? For some–
Styx: [LOUDLY] IF YOU CALL HIM A CUCK I AM GOING TO COME OUT THERE.
[Lukas scuttles off]
Arram: [Looking stressed and guilty as he wipes his hands on his apron] Thanks, I think.
Styx: I think kicking your brother’s ass would make me feel better.
Arram: [Fragile smile] Would it really?
Styx: At least temporarily.
Arram: [Washing the dishes] I think, you should focus on less violent ways to make yourself feel better. After all, kicking my brother’s ass isn’t exactly changed behavior.
Styx: …Pelagia’s lucky to have you.
Arram: [Softly] I’m lucky to have her.
Styx: [More forcefully] Pelagia is lucky to have you.
Arram: [Insecure chuckle] Yeah, until she gets bored of me and moves on.
Styx: Then I’ll date you.
Arram: What if I don’t like bad boys?
Styx: Get a dog.
Arram: Styx it was so nice of you to come by.
Styx: [Laughing and taking the hint.] You need to accept that you are worthy of the good things in your life kid. Take care.
The next event happens on the same day, while Marigold and Shae are out on their date. It features Lilah and Alvoni.
Death of the Author
Alvoni: [Lazily] Ok, so what has Lenox been teaching you?
Lilah: We’re learning about cheese again.
Alvoni: Cheese? Why cheese?
Lilah: Because I lied on his paperwork and also cheese is important.
Alvoni: [Amused] How is cheese important?
Lilah: We haven’t gotten to that part yet but I think cheese means different things to different people.
Alvoni: [Chuckling] Ok.
Lilah: I’m serious! Cheese is a statement. It’s not really about the cheese it’s about the person who made the cheese, or drew the cheese, or engraved the cheese. What the cheese meant to them is communicated through the cheese and then we also make our own interpretation.
Alvoni: Sometimes it’s just cheese, Lilah.
Lilah: Is it though? If I drew a picture of a toad and wrote on the picture the words, “This is not a toad” I’m making a statement!
Alvoni: … But it is a toad.
Lilah: No it’s not. It’s a picture of a toad.
Alvoni: If I draw a picture of a boat and write “This is an elephant” on it it doesn’t become a picture of an elephant, it is still a picture of a boat.
Lilah: But people would be looking for the elephant.
Alvoni: There is no elephant.
Lilah: They’d find one. They’d interpret an elephant. They’d make their own elephant. They’d do any other number of things.
Alvoni: That wasn’t my intention.
Lilah: Doesn’t matter. It’s not even about you any more
Alvoni: You just said that what the creator feels about the cheese matters but now it doesn’t matter?
Lilah: Yeah! Art is complicated like that.
Alvoni: What’s cheese mean to you?
Lilah: Right now cheese to me means being disagreeable with you. But if you ask me again at a different time when I’m in a different mood I might think differently about cheese.
Alvoni: Huh.
Lilah: Urist told me this story about an author who sat in on a lecture about his book and the students were getting all these messages and interpretations from it that he didn’t consider…
Alvoni: So he corrected them?
Lilah: What’s there to correct? They weren’t wrong.
Alvoni: But what if they were wrong? What if you wrote a story about the importance of peace and some jerks used it as an excuse to go to war?
Lilah: Wow.
Alvoni: Yeah.
Lilah: I don’t really have control over that.
Alvoni: Yeah.
Lilah: That’s kinda scary.
Alvoni: Yeah.
Lilah: Even if I corrected them they wouldn’t care.
Alvoni: It sucks.
Lilah: It really sucks!
Alvoni: You should still write it though.
Lilah: Oh yeah, absolutely. My statement is important even if folks are gonna be jerks about it. I can’t let the fear of jerks being jerks keep me from making my message.
Alvoni: Exactly.
Lilah: What’s cheese mean to you?
Alvoni: I still think sometimes cheese is just cheese and I’m dying on this hill.
Lilah: [Shrugging] You do you.
This event is the last event to take place on the same day, it happens the night after the dead beholder is teleported away. It features Mimolette and Culver.
Intervention
Mimolette: So, a sorcerer huh?
Culver: Powerful sorcerer! Magic is in my blood.
Mimolette: [Mildly] Can you summon a personality?
Culver: [Coughing, choking on his drink] E-excuse me?!
Mimolette: [Thoughtful] Well, apologizing is a good start but it’s gonna take more than that.
Culver: I… I have a personality!
Mimolette: [Boredly] Being an asshole is not a personality.
Culver: I… whew Brie okay let’s start over.
Mimolette: [Watches him from within her wine glass.]
Culver: I’ve done a lot of good things for people, assholes don’t do that.
Mimolette: [Blandly] If you did those nice things out of the kindness of your own heart you would not use them as bartering tokens to get what you want or brandish them to make yourself look good.
Culver: What about you? Just flinging spells around and making potions?
Mimolette: Is this your “Got’cha”? To try and antagonize me into gloating about my own accomplishments so you can be all, “Oh I guess we’re not so different.” We are very different.
Culver: Why did you even agree to go out with me if you detest me so?
Mimolette: Destest you? Culver, I don’t care about you. I was just hungry.
Culver: I… I’m leaving.
Mimolette: [Shrugging] Nobody was keeping you.
Culver: … This is ridiculous.
Mimolette: [Smiles smugly and knowingly]
Culver: Who are you to judge me?!
Mimolette: [Sips wine, says nothing]
Culver: I… I don’t give a fuck what you think of me.
Mimolette: [Wryly] He said caringly as he cared a whole lot.
Culver: [SEETHES]
Mimolette: [Extremely calm] Has this shit ever worked?
Culver: It’s worked a few times.
Mimolette: You’re alone, that’s not what it working looks like.
Culver: [Petulantly] You’re alone too.
Mimolette: [Raises her glass, cants her head] True. But when I’m alone I’m in good company.
Culver: Brie why are you being like this? Why can’t we just have a nice time?
Mimolette: Because us having a good time together won’t help the people who will have a miserable time around you. And sure, I’m not responsible for you but I have an opportunity here to try to get you to really evaluate yourself and I feel like I should take it.
Culver: I make people miserable?
Mimolette: Because of what you can do folks don’t always have the luxury or ability to have no contact or interaction with you even though that’s what a lot of people would prefer. Nobody looks forward to needing you or seeking help from you. Nobody does it with enthusiasm. Because you’re insufferable.
Culver: Wow, thanks.
Mimolette: Look, at some point you’re going to need to look at all these interactions you’re having with people where you find them annoying and beneath you and realize that the one factor all these interactions had in them wasn’t the people on the other side, it was you.
Culver: What are you trying to say?
Mimolette: I’m saying you’re the problem. You’re the asshole. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You are perfectly capable of being pleasant. I won’t lie, even if you decide to stop being an ass it’s gonna take awhile for folks to come around. But I think it’s worth it and you should consider it. I think you’d be happier to have more pleasant interactions with people.
Culver: … Ok. I’ll try that. What do we do now?
Mimolette: We attempt to have a normal date. I recommend not spending the entire time talking about yourself and instead taking an interest in me and asking me about myself.
Culver: Ok… What’s your favorite part of being an adventurer?
The next event takes place the next day around one in the afternoon and features Esme, Arram, Shae, and Lilah.
Brunch
Arram: So, it’s like, I obviously tricked her.
Shae: [Eating hashbrowns] No more then I tricked Marigold.
Esme: No more then I tricked Amnon.
Arram: …I’m just such trash.
Esme: Whomst among us is not trash?
Lilah: I’m not trash. I don’t think any of you are trash. My mom is definitely not trash.
Shae: [Smiling] Thank you, Lilah.
Esme: [Sagely] The good things that are happening in our lives are happening, not because we’ve tricked or fooled anyone, but because we’re good people and the good people in our lives see that we’re good people.
Shae: [Grunts]
Esme: At some point we need to realize that shitting on ourselves doesn’t help anybody. We have to realize that in tearing ourselves down we are also making a statement about the people we care about. Maybe we should trust their assessment of us, trust them and their taste and opinion of us? Because they’re not shit and we know they’re not shit. That means we can’t really be shit either.
Arram: Maybe Pelagia just likes garbage.
Esme: I think Pelagia likes earnest awkward dorks and I’m not going to kinkshame her.
Arram: She would find you, of all people, kinkshaming her amusing.
Esme: “More of a kink critique really, Pelagia. You could be being so much more kinkier.”
Shae: God.
Esme: Me, having a nice sit down with Marigold and–
Shae: No! No no nononononono. Do not.
Arram: [Drinking milk] How did you get so confident and so self assured?
Esme: [Cutting a pancake into bite-sized pieces] Oh, I just faked it. Faked it until I made it. I’m just winging it all the time.
Shae: I always panic when things go off rails. When I have to start winging it.
Esme: You get better with practice!
Arram: When I winged it I accidentally joined a cult.
Esme: That’s a pretty bad start to winging it and I could see how that would be discouraging. The good news is you’ve established such a low bar now.
Shae: I’m so afraid of screwing up.
Arram: You can’t be so afraid of failure that you don’t even try. Not trying is worse than failing.
Esme: He’s right. Not trying is ultimately just choosing failure. Because time marches on with or without you. Why choose to fail when you can try and maybe succeed?
Shae: Trying and failing has consequences. Not trying and failing does not.
Arram: Not trying and failing just has different consequences. Consequences you’re used to and are comfortable with. But they don’t make you happy.
Lilah: Mom, I think you should do everything you can to be happy and live your best life. It’s what you’d want me to do.
Esme: Yeah, if Lilah was being like you’re being about pursuing her own happiness you’d be all about taking initiative. The same should go for you.
Shae: I don’t like taking risks, that’s why I became an accountant.
Arram: You’re also a Warlock! That means you made some kind of Dark Pact with an entity of dubious morality right? How is that not a risk?
Shae: I made a pact with a Nature Entity, they’re not exactly evil.
Esme: You live in a super urban area and you made a pact with nature?
Shae: Yeah.
Esme: You had an opportunity to make a pact with demons and devils and shit and you made a pact with nature?!
Shae: Why is this so upsetting to you? I didn’t want to be evil.
Esme: Isn’t the whole point of becoming a Warlock to be evil?!
Shae and Arram: No.
Esme: I don’t understand. Why even become a Warlock if you’re not gonna bang Asmodeus?
Arram: Did you bang Lathander when you became a cleric?
Esme: No. But if the opportunity presented itself I wou–
Shae: Can we not talk about this in front of my daughter?
Lilah: [Laughing]
Arram: I learned in Bard College that we all have magic inside us, that everyone is magical, just some of us have an easier time tapping into it than other folks. So if Shae had the ability to be a Warlock and she went for it on her terms. I think that’s commendable.
Shae: Thank you, Arram.
Lilah: Why did you pick Lathander if you wanted to be evil so bad? You could have picked Bane.
Esme: Lathander picked me.
Arram: You’re evading the question. You can convert to whoever.
Esme: [Inhale] I picked Lathander because he suits me. Because what he’s all about appeals to me, that’s how I wanna live my life. I’m not evil and I don’t think I want to be evil. Maybe it seems odd to both of you but I think Lathander has been supporting me all my life. I don’t think I could have gotten through everything I’ve gotten through in the condition I have without him.
Arram: I feel the same way about Eon.
Shae: I don’t wanna invalidate those feelings but you shouldn’t put all the credit for the success on your gods, you did it too.
Lilah: Yeah, when mom gives me a pencil to do the homework that’s helpful but I’m still the one who did the homework. Gods give you the tools to do the thing but you’re still the one that does it.
Arram: Wisdom from the teenager.
Shae: [Grinning] It’s completely on accident, I assure you, but I’m still taking credit for it.
Lilah: Screw you mom! You’re a good person and you made me a good person and you have to accept that! Aaaaa!
Shae: That feel when–
Lilah: Stop it! Don’t make jokes!
Shae: But I’m protecting myself from your affection and gratitude affecting me by making jokes!
Lilah: I JUST WANT YOU TO LOVE AND ACCEPT YOURSELF LIKE YOU DO FOR ME!
Esme and Arram: [Drink and stare into their drinks]
Arram: [Quietly] This drink is good.
Esme: [Quietly, agreeably] Mmm quite good.
Shae: … I’m lucky to have you.
Lilah: [Scoffing] I’m lucky to have you.
Arram: [Diplomatically] Everyone is lucky to have everyone else.
Esme: It’s kinda sad that we’re all like, “I’m so lucky to have had you.” When we should have had people like us in our lives all along.
Shae: Yeah, but we’re not wrong either.
Arram: We’re not wrong.
The next event takes place the day before Marigold takes the team out to kick her rival’s ass. It features Shae and Arram.
Okay.
Shae: Does Pelagia know how you feel about her?
Arram: Uh.
Shae: Better question, do you know how you feel about Pelagia?
Arram: Oh yeah, I’m smitten.
Shae: How did you know? When did you know?
Arram: Ehehehe, it kinda snuck up on me.
Shae: … What is love?
Arram: … I…
Shae: … I’m scared, Arram.
Arram: … It’s okay to be scared. It’s a scary thing. It’s a big and scary thing.
Shae: What if this is just a crush? What if I only want this because I convinced myself I want it? What if–
Arram: Woah. Woah. Look, this shit [he gestures vaguely at everything] did not come with a manual, okay? There’s nothing that says you have to be in love right now, right this moment, or else. There’s nothing that says that whatever this is doesn’t count.
Shae: Ugh.
Arram: My mom would just want to know when I’m having kids.
Shae: Oh God, my mom. [Pained laughter]
Arram: You’re stressing out and complicating all these things and it’s really uncomfortable to watch because you are going through so much. You’re at a buffet and your plate is full and you are trying to put more things on the plate. Please stop.
Shae: Mmm.
Arram: [Softly] My family was horrible to me. I don’t even know how I’d feel if Pelagia killed them.
Shae: [Voice hollow] I don’t feel anything. I’ve tried and tried…
Arram: … I hear you.
Shae: I should feel something and I feel bad for not feeling something.
Arram: I think you’re focusing too much on shoulds and not on what is and you’re just making it worse for yourself. You feel what you feel and that’s okay. Even if what you feel is nothing, nothing is a feeling and that’s okay.
Shae: How do I get over this if I don’t feel anything?
Arram: [Thoughtfully] I guess you just accept it? I don’t know, Shae. I wish I had the answers for you.
Shae: It’s not like I’m not accepting it. My family is dead and I can’t change that.
Arram: Esme’s said pretty much the same thing.
Shae: What did you tell her?
Arram: What did you tell her?
Shae: That she’s not bad for surviving and that she’s loved.
Arram: There you go.
Shae: It didn’t seem to help her.
Arram: [Smiling] I think it helped her a lot.
Shae: Ugh.
Arram: Yeah.
Shae: I’ve just gotta keep going, keep working at my wants and my goals, time isn’t stopping and waiting for me.
Arram: Maybe a funeral would help?
Shae: I don’t think Amnon wants a funeral for them.
Arram: Okay, but what do you want?
Shae: I don’t care what I want.
Arram: You situationally care about what you want.
Shae: In this case, I do not care about what I want. I do care in other situations.
Arram: Maybe it’s less about what you want and more about what you need.
Shae: … I need to go help Vikulg.
Arram: Okay. This isn’t healthy but okay.
Shae: …
Arram: Sometimes it’s okay to not be healthy. Sometimes it’s okay to not be okay.
Shae: [Thickly] Nothing is okay.
Arram: … um… alright.
Shae: [Leaves]
Arram: HECK.
The next event happens on the same day, Alvoni is babysitting Lilah because Shae needs some time alone. The scene features Lilah and Alvoni.
Prisoners of Fate
Lilah: Okay so now that it’s all folded up you shuffle it up, pick one and unfold it, and it tells you your fortune.
Alvoni: But you wrote all the fortunes that you wanted, what if you only put good stuff in there?
Lilah: I think that’s valid and should be encouraged. Wanting good stuff for yourself is good.
Alvoni: Bold statement.
Lilah: [Shuffling the folded paper] Now you’re getting it. Ok, pick.
Alvoni: [Picks arbitrarily.]
Lilah: It says I get to stay up past my bed time.
Alvoni: How is you getting to stay up after bed time my fortune?
Lilah: It’s your destiny. The stars have aligned. Also it says we should get cake.
Alvoni: Every one of those says you get to stay up late don’t they?
Lilah: [Mystically] We will never know. We must only trust ourselves to the unknown whims of the cosmos.
Alvoni: [Smirking] Give me that! [Snatching at it]
Lilah: [Laughing and keeping it away from her] No! We must not meddle in the affairs of fate!
The next happens the night of the above day, when Shae has picked up Lilah and taken her home to put her to bed. It features Shae and Lilah.
Happy Little Accidents
Lilah: Hey mom! Do you want your fortune read?
Shae: [Chuckling fondly] Are you just stalling for time so you can stay up later?
Lilah: [Grinning impishly] Yes. Do you want your fortune read?
Shae: [Kissing her forehead] Ok.
Lilah: [Sits up and shuffles the paper] Ok pick.
Shae: [Makes a big show of contemplating before picking one.]
Lilah: [Opens the fold.] It says that you will find the happiness you’re seeking.
Shae: Hmm, that implies I’m not currently happy.
Lilah: [Wrinkling her nose] You could be happier.
Shae: [Smiling fondly] And maybe I will be.
Lilah: [Earnestly] You will be! The paper says so.
Shae: Mnn… If it happens, then it happens, but I don’t really believe in fate or destiny, sweetheart.
Lilah: Why not?
Shae: Well, maybe don’t tell our more religious friends this but I don’t believe the gods have a plan. In fact, I don’t think they ever had a plan. I don’t think they even know what they’re doing. I think we were all an accident.
Lilah: Why?
Shae: Because that’s what I want to be the truth. Believing this way makes me comfortable.
Lilah: I… don’t see how that is comforting.
Shae: [Checking the clock] If the gods have planned everything out then none of us have any agency. None of us have any power, control, or influence over what happens in our lives as it’s already been decided. I don’t find that comforting. I like the idea that I can change myself, and my life, and that my decisions will be impactful-- that they’ll matter.
Lilah: Maybe it’s not a 100% either or thing though. Maybe it’s a bit of both. Where some things are set in stone and other things aren’t.
Shae: If that’s how you want it to be, if that’s what makes you comfortable sweetie, then don’t let me change your mind. Belief is a very personal thing and I feel everyone has the right to interpret the world and believe what they believe in peace. Nobody should force their beliefs on others. So please, come to your own understanding of things that makes you happy and that you’re comfortable with. But I personally prefer nothing set in stone.
Lilah: …It kinda bothers me that you think we’re an accident and not some beautiful intentful creation.
Shae: I don’t think accidents are any less beautiful than things made with intent. Some of the better things that have happened in my life I’ve attributed to accidents. If you’re painting a painting and you make a mistake you shouldn’t throw the whole thing out. You should embrace it, work with it. In my opinion, our imperfections are some of the most interesting things about us.
Lilah: [Small smile] So you think we were an accident and the gods are just making the best of it?
Shae: Pretty much, yes.
Lilah: Do you think they regret us?
Shae: [Soft laugh] Believing that wouldn’t make me happy, so no. We might frustrate them or disappoint them sometimes. There is a good chance that they want different things for us than we want for ourselves. And if they have the power to force that desired outcome I don’t feel it would be right to do so. That doesn’t show respect or appreciation for us and our agency. I believe the gods care about us and forcing us to do what they want isn’t caring. If anything, it’s an abuse of power and they know better.
Lilah: What about when you force me to go to bed or go to school, isn’t that disrespecting my agency and abusing your power?
Shae: [Delighted chortle] Is this your way of saying I don’t know what’s good for you? That I should just let you stay up as late as you want, drop out of school, and do whatever you want?
Lilah: [Wryly] Respecting my decisions, even if you didn’t agree with them, would be a sign of that caring.
Shae: [Smirking] So, first, I am not a god. I have a responsibility to be a good mom and do my best to raise you right and prepare you for the world. I take that responsibility very seriously. Did you know, when I found you as a toddler, that you hated eating? I had to trick you into eating, come up with ways to make it a fun little game. If I hadn’t, and had just respected your belligerent toddler wishes, well… I don’t want to think about what would have happened.
Lilah: [Scoffing] Mom, I was a baby then, I didn’t know what was best for me. I’m old enough now to be able to make my own decisions though.
Shae: [Warmly] I don’t disagree and I do my best to give you as much freedom as I can to make your own choices. I try to respect those choices. But I still want you to have a good quality of life, Lilah, and I genuinely feel your life will be better with a good education. However, if you truly believe school isn’t what’s best for you I’m willing to listen to you explain why and tell me your plans… in the morning.
Lilah: What if I also think staying up all night is what’s best for me?
Shae: Well, I can’t make you go to sleep. But I’m also not going to stay up all night talking to you and entertaining you because I don’t think staying up all night is good for me. You are free to use a lantern and read or do any number of things you think would entertain you in the church but I would appreciate it if you didn’t go fooling around outside because it’s not safe and I don’t wanna lose you.
Lilah: What if the gods view us as babies?
Shae: [Softly] Honey, I really need to get to sleep soon I’ve got a busy day tomorrow. But I think the gods know what a baby is and what someone old enough to make their own decisions is and that they respect that. In fact, I think the gods largely leave what happens to babies up to their parents.
Lilah: What if… what if they don’t have parents?
Shae: [Soft sound, deep breath] …This is about you isn’t it?
Lilah: [Quietly] I believe the gods lead you to me.
Shae: [Struck speechless]
Lilah: But I feel guilty, because I know some other kids weren’t as fortunate. Some kids don’t get parents and some kids, like Arram, don’t get good parents.
Shae: [Aching sound, gathers Lilah up in her arms]
Lilah: Why was I chosen and not them? What made me worthy and not them?
Shae: [Quietly] Nothing. Sweetheart, you’re not a bad person for being found.
Lilah: [Thickly] It’s not fair.
Shae: [Softly stroking Lilah’s hair] I know… I know…
Lilah: [Choking] Everyone… Everyone should have a parent like you.
Shae: [Blinking back tears] Yeah… yeah…
Lilah: [Weakly] How did you learn to be such a good mom? Did you learn from your mom? And, do these parents who are unkind to their children think they’re loving them?
Shae: [Voice hoarse] …No… my mother did not teach me how to be a good mom. And… I can’t really speak to what the unkind parents think they’re doing. I’d like to believe they know what love and caring looks like but I… I didn’t.
Lilah: …[Squeezing Shae back] But… you did know what it didn’t look like, so you’re just doing the opposite.
Shae: [Raw chuckle] Yeah. I just embraced it, worked with it
Lilah: [Quietly] Happy little accidents.
Shae: [Cuddling her fiercely] Happy little accidents.
This event happens not long before the party heads out to kill Ylveraasahlisar. It features Esme, Arram, and Shae.
The Waiting Game
Esme: [In a low voice] Pretty soon I’ll have to get my crew together and head out to Calimport to fight through god only knows how much bullshit so some assholes don’t lay claim to Ylveraasahlisar’s riches.
Shae: [Softly] Please be careful.
Esme: [Wryly] I’ll do my best. Though, if I’m not careful enough it will take you awhile before you know.
Arram: Whether or not we even know if you fail kinda depends on whether or not our partners and their friends fail. Because if they fail, we’re getting incinerated by a dragon.
Esme: Well, you two are getting incinerated by a dragon. I’ll either die trying to achieve my objective or have to wait until Ylveraasahlisar comes back from torching Almraiven.
Shae: [Quietly] This is such a pleasant conversation.
Esme: It’s a necessary conversation. Necessary conversations aren’t always pleasant.
Arram: [Voice weak] What do we do if they die?
Esme: You already established that we get dragoned.
Arram: What if they kill her but also die? Because I think that’s the most likely of bad outcomes. They would not accept failure.
Esme: I wouldn’t even know their fate until well after I’d either completed or failed my mission… My plan is to just focus on my objective and worry about every thing else later.
Arram: Okay, but once you found out they were dead?
Esme: …I’d probably just pack my grief for Amnon away with my grief for every other tragedy that has befallen me up until this point and spend however long was necessary to ensure his death was not in vain. I’d do my part to help Vikulg realize her vision for Almraiven, which I believe is also his vision for Almraiven, and then… God… [Broken laugh] It’s funny, I haven’t really thought about this and maybe I should have. I don’t doubt I’d go on a self-destructive bender for awhile but I’d like to think I’d eventually just go on trying to live my best life because it’s what he’d want. What about you?
Arram: …Unlike you, I’ve actually thought about this a lot. [Sheepishly] I kind of run it over in my mind at least once a day. So, I know what I’d do. I’d charter a boat across the ocean to the land Pelagia came from, seek out where she was residing, and I’d tell anyone who would listen to me about how wonderful she was, how she was a hero, how…[Choking up] How she changed everyone’s lives.
Shae: [Lightly pats and rubs his back with a sympathetic expression.]
Arram: [After a deep, shuddering breath] And I’d learn everything I could about Eon. Then I’d come back to Almraiven and continue spreading her –our– faith and message. It’s the best way I could think of to honor her.
[A prolonged silence]
Arram: [Weakly] What about you Shae?
Shae: [Quietly] …I’ve been doing everything in my power to not think about this, to not worry about this, it… hasn’t worked. [Taking a deep breath] What I want is what she would have wanted… but she and I never talked about what she would have wanted were this to happen and now… now it’s too late.
Esme: [Softly] You can still do what you best think she’d want and… I think she’d be okay with that.
Shae: [Clearing her throat] …Yeah. I’d start by getting her body or [grimaces] y’know whatever remains of her I could collect. Then I’d travel back to her hometown, introduce myself to her family, and inform them of her fate. If they needed help, I’d give them all they needed to give her a good funeral and assuming… [Her voice tightens] Assuming they’d allow me to be present I’d like to attend it. After that, I’d definitely piss on Zasheir’s grave at least once but then I’m not sure. I’ve got a daughter to take care of and I’ve gotta help Vikulg manage the economy, that should keep me distracted enough.
Arram: She’d probably want you to move on eventually.
Shae: … mm.
[Another long silence]
Shae: I wish…I wish I could go with them, or even with you Esme. I feel so useless.
Arram: I feel the same way. Adventuring really doesn’t suit me but I wish I could do something to help them.
Esme: Neither of you are useless and you are doing something. You’re giving them someone to come home to. That matters a lot.
Arram: I’m glad I decided to try and befriend you two. It’s nice to have people I can talk to about this kind of stuff. People who understand.
Esme: I feel the same.
Shae: Yeah… same here. No matter what happens, let’s stay friends.
[They all nod in agreement.]
I’m not going to make any promises but there is a chance I might do a few more scenes. I’ll update the thread if I do.
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Arram: I’ve come to make an announcement. Lukas Redmon is a bitch ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking girlfriend. That’s right, he took his dragonborn fucking scaly dick out and he pissed on my fucking girlfriend, and he said his dick was “This Big” and I said “That’s disgusting” so I’m making a callout post on my Twitter.com. Lukas you got a small dick! It’s the size of this walnut except way smaller, and guess what? THIS IS WHAT MY DICK LOOKS LIKE! THAT’S RIGHT BABY! TALL POINTS, NO LOOSE SCALES, NO PILLOWS. LOOK AT THAT, IT LOOKS LIKE TWO BALLS AND A BONG! HE FUCKED MY GIRLFRIEND, SO GUESS WHAT? I’M GONNA FUCK THE EARTH! THAT’S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! EXCEPT I’M NOT GONNA FUCK THE EARTH, I’M GONNA GO HIGHER. I’M PISSING ON THE MOOOOOOOON!!!
Jenner wanted someone else to make a post so she wasn’t flooding the thread, so I decided to make the thread worse out of spite.
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Lukas would not remotely survive even attempting to piss on Pelagia.
I could wait until 12:01 am and then upload but fuck it, it’s uploaded now. Have the episode a day early!
Session Nineteen: Dragon Slayer
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It’s TUESDAY so it’s time to update! BEHOLD, THE FINAL SESSION:
Session Twenty: Happily Ever After
I want to thank all my amazing players for being… well… amazing, I’m not sure I deserve them. Your characters were all fantastic and I loved each and every one of them. In fact, I already miss them. I wanna thank our viewer(s) who watched this LP so it wasn’t just us screaming into the void. I hope you enjoyed it!
Every time I run a campaign I go through this seesaw of, “Wow, that was so good how will I ever top that?” and “Oh god, it’s so bad and I’m so ashamed and embarrassed.” And that’s happening now, but I’m currently in the “this was good” phase so I am mostly worried about topping this campaign in the moment. Because this campaign was special. It wasn’t like my Ryuutama campaign or my Monster Hearts campaign because I didn’t plot the whole thing out from the onset. I kind of winged it pretty much the whole time, for better or for worse, and it turned out ok. In particular, I especially love the NPCs and Player Characters from this campaign and I have no idea how I’ll do better in my life.
But I look forward to the challenge.
If you like our content and would like to continue to consume it, we’re continuing our antics by playing Dragon Ball Z OCs in the Fate engine over here In this thread right here, click it! @LoakaMossi is running this one and I’m a player in it but I assure you it’s still very gay and very good.
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