I’m Jeff and I’m a cis man and I don’t even fucking know what the fuck. I’ve been with a series of women in my teens and 20s but I’m 31 now, live alone, haven’t dated in literal years, and haven’t really felt attracted to much of anyone lately. Truthfully, I feel like I wouldn’t recognize feelings of love or even infatuation in myself because I haven’t experienced those emotions in a super long time. I’m also extremely commitment-adverse.
I’m constantly reminded (mostly at work) that the interests and priorities all the cis het men around me don’t really compel me at all, at best they make me feel like I don’t have anything in common with the other men I’m acquainted with, at worse they put me off or make me feel super uncomfortable. I don’t really feel welcome or comfortable in most “traditionally” male spaces.
I’m tryin’ my best but I don’t really grok a lot of this stuff, and I don’t even really know how to begin to figure these personal things out for myself. Self-reflection on anything personal for me is kind of a difficult thing for me to do. I’m frankly a little jealous of people who seem to have their identity figured out.